Work Text:
"But Kunikida-kun~" A drawl poked at his nerves as he tried to concentrate.
The sleep deprived man in question sighed deeply, leaning back in his office chair which released a light creak in the empty office.
"Save it for anyone else, moron." The blond muttered gruffly, typing away. Hopefully, it wouldn't end up in a jumbled page of red underlined words in need of correction because of a certain suicidal brunet. Kunikida couldn't stand grammatical errors, it would be hypocritical for someone to spot it in his own work. "You leave three hours early to slack off, you come in at seven a.m. next day, sharp."
"That doesn't sound fair to me." Dazai's dramatic sigh irked his ear. "What about my beauty sleep?"
"You don't need it." Kunikida said through gritted teeth. When the other sucked in an excited breath, he knew there was something to be alarmed about. "Don't, you even, start. You know exactly what I meant by that and that's to hell with your damn sleep!" He growled, taking off his glasses to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
"Aw," Kunikida could imagine Dazai's irritating pout in the dim light of his dorm room. "For a second there, I thought Kunikida-kun was saying I'm beautiful."
"Quit fooling around, Dazai." The blond pursed his lips to suppress annoyance, almost nodding off face-first to his desk. He really needed to finish up soon. "If you want sleep, stop wasting my time and actually go to sleep."
"Very well. See you at an unholy hour in the morning, I suppose." Dazai seemed to relent, no matter how reluctantly. "... Or how about this, I offer you a trade-" Kunikida groaned into his palm.
Not this again.
"No, no, hear me out." His tone was light, but the quirky one's partner knew better than to trust anything that started like this.
"What is it, Dazai?!" Kunikida was going to lose it if Dazai kept this up for another min-
"Pay for my food and I'll be there." He demanded.
"Wait, that's it?" The man in glasses raised an eyebrow, fiddling with the pen he seemed to have picked up sometime. His anger deflated at the easy chore. "It's not like you ever buy your own lunch anyway, you leech. You're either mooching off me or Atsushi-kun."
Dazai gasped offendedly. "Slander, I tell you. Slander!"
"Say that to my bank account." Deadpanned the other.
"I'll see what I can do about tomorrow." Dazai changed the subject defeatedly.
"Said like a person who has a schedule." The blond commented dryly. "Dazai, don't think you can ditch this time- I will find you and I will drag you here myself if I have to." He threatened, the typing noise becoming more violent and his shoulders bunching up gradually.
The brunet cooed into his ear, a touch amused. "I know you will, Kunikida-kun. Pleasant dreams, then."
"Sure." Kunikida stifled a yawn, rolling the tension out of his shoulder. "Love you." He mumbled before hanging up.
A peaceful moment was spent in silence before Kunikida's words caught up to him and he stopped typing, sucking in a breath.
That... he didn't actually said that, had he?
His dark-circled eyes widened as he pressed a hand to his forehead. He hadn't realized he was that tired.
Dazai most likely didn't hear it anyway. Or he would've immediately called back or just come straight to the office to make sure he tortured Kunikida enough about his slip. It would've ended him.
He brushed it off with a shake of his head, lines between his brows deepening.
Oddly enough, Dazai had arrived earlier than Kunikida the following morning.
Kunikida shot the humming brunet a raised eyebrow as he walked through the door. "Why hello, Kunikida-kun." The smiling brunet pushed himself away from his desk- had he set those papers there pretending he was working? "You're twenty seconds late."
The blond paused in his steps to shoot him an unimpressed look. "Screw you." He simply greeted before sitting across from him at his own desk.
It irritated him that Dazai was right. Not that he needed it rubbed in his face.
"Did you know I could report you for harassment now?" Dazai quipped from his front, thinking aloud. "Regulations can be convenient like that."
"It's nice that you're showing interest." Deadpanned Kunikida, opening his notebook.
Despite that itching twenty seconds, he could still have a perfect day following his schedule as long as Dazai didn't involve himself.
As the day went on, that brought on a problem. Physically, Dazai didn't seem to be feeling any extra bratty today, which should've resulted in a more productive day. But Kunikida couldn't work. Because Dazai was now contaminating his thoughts instead.
He was distracted thinking about Dazai, for the love of god. Kunikida was more aware of the brunet in the office than usual, despite the fact that currently, the main source of noise and distraction was Ranpo, who was grumbling about someone having stolen his snacks.
Kunikida could feel his gaze on him from time to time. Dazai grinned and winked at him whenever he caught the man looking, making him grumble and look away. Kunikida tried his best to focus his attention on the task in front of him, but it proved to be more difficult than the task itself.
Only Dazai.
Dazai and the extra mischievous smirk on his face.
Dazai and the many, many interpretations his single arched eyebrow left to the audience.
Dazai wearing the most convincing innocent look despite it all.
Love you.
Kunikida shook off that line of thought with a twitch of an eye, feeling his cheeks burn. What the hell was wrong with him today?
Dazai hadn't made one single suicide joke all morning, eerily silent, eventually making a paper plane or humming a tune. Could it just paranoia? The irresponsible man was probably plotting something as usual.
It was childish that Kunikida couldn't get his slip last night out of his head either. Everything just appeared to go out of its way to stop Kunikida from having a nice simple day at work.
"Kunikida-kun." The man in question tensed at the dragged out whine, but made sure his eyes didn't wander this time. There was a, expectant pause. "Kunikidaaaa-"
The man's scowl deepened and he ground his teeth as he tried to ignore his complaining colleague, angrily pushing back his glasses. Dazai kept calling him, matching his persistence.
"Just answer him, Kunikida-san." Atsushi helplessly sighed from the seat. "You know it's just going to go on like this."
"Yeah, don't ignore me, Kunikida-kun." Dazai went behind it offendedly. "It's rude."
Running a hand down his face, Kunikida's shoulders gave up and slumped. He raised his chin so the others could see the irritated scowl on his face. "What is it? I'm trying to work, Dazai." He huffed out.
"You still haven't apologized." Dazai accused.
Kunikida pinched the bridge of his nose. "For what?" He sighed.
The brunet gave him a pointed look. "You hung up on me!" The blond froze. "I didn't get to say I love you back!" Speaking purposefully loud.
Kunikida gawked at the man incredulously, mouth hanging open. "W-wha-" His face had reddened if the mischief dancing on Dazai's face was anything to go on. "What the- go back to your work, moron!" He spluttered.
"Don't avoid the issue." Dazai huffed sassily.
"It was just a slip." Glared Kunikida once he regained his posture, cheeks dusted red. He picked up the nearest report.
"Yeah, it was." Dazai flashed a grin, leaning forward. "A freudian slip." He drew out suggestively.
"Like hell it was!" Kunikida loudly defended, feeling a furious blush beginning to spread on his face. "Stop distracting me and get to work!"
"Sheesh, you've been getting distracted by me all morning, what's the rush now?" Leaning his chin forward on a fist, the man raised an amused knowing eyebrow, making him turn white as a sheet. "My, my, Kunikida-kun. I don't even have to try to live rent-free in your mind, do I?" He teased.
To make matters worse, the Weretiger raised a surprised eyebrow at the speechless opening of Kunikida's mouth. As if to say, no objections, huh?
Gathering his wits, the glassed one ground his teeth and glared. "Oh, you've been trying enough."
"So I am living rent-free in your mind." Dazai chuckled, making his entire face burn. What was wrong with the both of them today? The idealist wondered in a fluster. "That's scandalous, Kunikida-kun."
"You don't really leave me a choice by driving me insane, you bandage-wasting maniac." His death glare didn't seem to have a negative effect on Dazai.
"You flatter me." Dazai hummed bashedly.
"I don't intend to." Kunikida took a calming breath. "I just want some peace and quie-"
"Aah, about that." Dazai raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure you wanna get into the things you want right now."
"You think you know what I want well?" Kunikida threw sarcastically.
"Sure I do." The other challenged.
"Enlighten me." By the time Kunikida realized that he'd fallen for the bait, the words had already flown out.
Without warning, Dazai suddenly stood up and leaned over the desks to reach him, the curl of his lips familiar and playful, his bangs falling in his signature catlike expression. Kunikida's heart skipped a beat. "You want to shut me up."
The blond blinked once, double checking his hearing. "You actually do know what I want." He raised an eyebrow.
His partner grinned, leaning even closer until the tips of their noses brushed. "Think of all the ways you can shut me up." He whispered, and Kunikida froze. "You're a very thorough man, Kunikida-kun. I'm sure you'll teach me a nice lesson."
The entire room was spinning. "What makes you think it's whithin my power to fix a menace like you?" He muttered back.
"You have more power than you realize, Kunikida-kun." Vaguely said the brunet, accompanied by a wink.
His hand travelled up Dazai's chest, having a mind of its own. He was so dazed staring at his partner's cattish smile that he barely felt his own fingers loosely clasp around Dazai's neck, subtle enough to be interpreted as a casual hand on the shoulder from afar.
Dazai's eyes softened at the light press, looking at Kunikida pliably.
Kunikida's mouth turned dry. "Da- Dazai, this is not office-appropriate behavior-"
"I'm not the one tenderly choking my colleague at work." Dazai bit on his lip innocently, watching with mirth as Kunikida swore in mortification, letting go of him as if it burned.
The man swept around the room, relieved when he made sure no one else noticed anything.
"It's okay, Kunikida-kun. I'll let you choke me." Dazai giggled when his partner's eyes blew comically wide, flushing a deep shade. "Oh, don't you worry." Suddenly Dazai was arching suggestively over to him instead of simply leaning, resting his weight on his hands. "I'll let you do whatever you want with me, partner~" He cooed quietly.
"Dazai..." Kunikida breathed out soundlessly, noticing how close Dazai's smirk was. "There- there's a young one present, cut it out." He urged.
"Oh, don't stop on my account." Atsushi chimed in, switching between them with intrigue. "I wanna see where this goes."
Kunikida watched dumbfoundedly as Dazai laughed and high-fived his mentee. Traitors, all of them. But if his own body betrayed him with this bright blush, Atsushi shouldn't really be a surprise.
Before he could continue to try and figure out the new... thing between them and what it meant, Kunikida was called over to the president's office.
But he made sure to seek Dazai out at some point of the day.
"You will see me after work today." Kunikida growled authoritatively into his ear, half-flustered, as he tugged roughly on a yelping Dazai's arm.
Dazai met his eyes with a mix of eagerness, excitement and humor, licking his lips hungrily. "Yes, sir."