Chapter Text
There was no keeping the grip Arthur held on to, in hopes that Merlin would not disappear from him. Yet, he held on for dear life. His grip was fueled with desperation.
Both their eyes were identically blue and identically bloodshot. Their faces were both strung in tears. As Merlin tugged at Arthur's powerful grip, they both came to two horrible, individual, realizations.
Merlin knew he was destroying everything. He did not want to pull away from Arthur. He did not want to leave. But he could never let worse things come. He could not let Arthur's castle crash down with the king inside. You must be outside to put the fire out.
Arthur just held on tighter and tighter. He was silently mouthing to the man. Please. Don't leave. I wouldn't be able to continue. And, yet, he knew in the back of his mind that Merlin was not doing this to hurt him.
He knew that Merlin was smarter than he looked. He knew that Merlin lived a life of pain, adventure, and destiny, even (and especially) when he wasn't with the king. He knew that Merlin lived a life of sequential pain. He knew that Merlin was just as upset.
"I will always protect you. It is my destiny to protect you." Merlin said quietly.
"We can run. We can run from it all. Whatever it is, whatever it is that you're trying to prevent!" Arthur pleaded, pulling Merlin closer.
"You make decisions so difficult," Merlin's voice cracked. "If there was another way, I'd take it. I'd take it without a second thought. I'd give my life for you. If that's what I must do, it's what I will do."
Merlin let another tear fall down his face. It landed directly on Arthur's hand.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
The man's eyes flourish, turn into shimmering pools of liquid gold for a simple second, and Arthur is pushed away from the man he could not lose. His grip fell as he desperately tried to hold on.
Merlin turned away.
He took a long, deep breath.
He faced his one true friend.
Friend?
No.
No, that's not right.
That is not how Merlin is going out.
Merlin turned. In an impulsive, world shattering decision, he grabbed Arthur by the collar of his tunic and held him in a tight kiss. Their faces were covered in tears and there was nothing but pain in this embrace. They both silently prayed it would last a lifetime. A lifetime of just them, together, never anything keeping them apart.
And yet, it does not.
Before Arthur could even understand what he had just done, Merlin turned and ran into the trees.
And Arthur knew, deep inside, that he was not turning around once more.
Arthur sat down in the grass, and he cried. Where nobody could see him.