Chapter Text
“Okay, so.” Stephen spoke the words as he came up from behind Loki, putting a warm hand on his shoulder and causing Loki to look up at him with what he was sure was an absurdly dopey smile.
But he was still getting used to the fact that somehow Stephen was his boyfriend again, sue him, and –
No, you know what? It was fine. Because being embarrassingly into Stephen wasn’t an issue at all anymore.
And wasn’t that refreshing?
“Hmm?” Loki asked simply, feeling ridiculously content.
He laid the spell book he’d been helping Stephen bind to reality down on the table. And his smile grew as Stephen left Loki’s shoulder in favor of perching on the arm rest of the chair next to his. Stephen’s lips quirked upwards. “Well, first of all, don’t be weird about this or do anything stupid.”
…Loki probably would’ve been offended if anyone but Stephen had said that.
But the thing was, it was Stephen, and he was pretty sure Stephen could say just about anything and Loki would somehow just love him even more. And… Well, Loki supposed he couldn’t exactly deny that he had a rather spotty track record of doing weird and stupid things when it came to Stephen.
And so, instead of responding with some variation of ‘hmph’, he merely shrugged. “I’ll do my best, how about that?”
Stephen’s smile grew. “I’ll take it. So.”
Loki raised his eyebrows, growing curiosity fluttering inside of him. “So?”
Stephen didn’t skip a beat. “Do you want to move in with us? As in, actually move in with us this time?”
Wait… What?
What?
Loki could feel his eyes widening like he was a kid in a candy store, but he didn’t care. Because this was everything he’d ever wanted, and –
“Oh my god. Yes! Yes, yes, definitely. Yes.”
And a small part of him was reminded distantly of the last time Stephen had asked him to move in with him. He hadn’t managed to be casual in his acceptance then, either. But he hadn’t cared about his lack of casualness back then and he certainly didn’t care now. Because, more importantly, Stephen was in front of him and he was everything he’d ever wanted and…
“Yes,” Loki said emphatically again, grinning.
Stephen smiled widely at him, and Loki melted, and he was so happy it almost hurt. “Okay, good.” As he spoke, Stephen rose from his perching position to put his hand on Loki’s before kissing him softly. And… God, if this was the last thing that ever happened to him, he’d be okay with that.
He could get lost in this forever, and –
Stephen pulled back from him. Loki was so tempted to grab his shirt and drag him back down, but… It looked like he wanted to say something else. And let it never be said that Loki couldn’t be patient.
…Well, okay, a lot of people had said that. But that was irrelevant. He could be patient when it was for Stephen. He could do anything if it was for Stephen.
“You know what this means, though, right?” his boyfriend asked, expression shifting to something more serious.
….Ah. Of course. Loki nodded. It wasn’t much of a leap to deduce whom Stephen was thinking about; they factored into almost everything he ever did. And, increasingly, almost everything Loki did.
“Telling Wanda and Pietro,” he answered softly.
Stephen nodded too, going back to perching against the armrest. “Right. But there is a bit of an unknown element here. I’m guessing Pietro will be okay with it, but…” He trailed off, and it wasn’t difficult to tell what was on his mind.
“Wanda,” Loki finished Stephen’s thought quietly.
Stephen nodded silently. And Loki wished, for what had to be about the millionth time, that he could erase all the pain that Stephen and Wanda had gone through because of him. But he couldn’t, and…
He stood up to take Stephen’s hands in his and took a deep breath, perching against the arm rest of his own chair as he faced Stephen. “Whatever she wants, I’ll understand.”
And he would. If she didn’t want him to move in, he might wish it could be different, but… Of course he’d understand.
Stephen ran his thumb over Loki’s hand and looked at him with empathy and understanding and love. Like somehow Loki was the one being put in a difficult situation here instead of Wanda. “Hey,” he said. “We’re all happy to have you here. You know that, right?”
Loki nodded hesitantly. It certainly seemed that way.
But… They were happy now. That didn’t mean that Wanda would feel comfortable having him move in with them, or that she would feel comfortable with what she would see as the possible risk that, if she agreed to let him into her space, he might just leave them all over again.
The trust that he was rebuilding with her was tenuous and fragile, and…
And he was acutely aware that all of this could still come crashing down on him. That it might suddenly be too much for Stephen or Wanda or even Pietro, and… He could lose all of this.
Loki took a breath that shook more than he’d expected it to. “I don’t know, that could change.”
Stephen gripped Loki’s hands more tightly. “I don’t think it will.” He kissed him again before pulling back and shaking his head. “Loki, you did some stupid things. And sure, Wanda’s only six. But she and I both know that you meant well.”
Loki nodded, an uplifting string of warmth tugging at him through the heavy sludge of unease, as Stephen squeezed his hands.
“Honestly, I don’t know what Wanda will say when we tell her about this. And… six-year-olds can be surprising sometimes.” Loki let out a small huff of laughter at the truth of that statement as Stephen continued. “But I wouldn’t have suggested this if I thought she wouldn’t want it.”
Loki could feel the small smile growing on his face. He loved how Stephen would so often make statements with such confidence and self-assurance. But this statement? He felt the warmth lighting him up from within burn even brighter.
Stephen shrugged, mirroring Loki’s smile. “It might not be black and white for her. But no matter what she thinks about you moving in, I don’t think she’ll ever want to say goodbye to you unless you give her a reason to.”
God. He would cross heaven and earth before he gave Wanda any more reasons to not trust him.
“Well, I won’t,” Loki said, meaning every bit of the immense weight of his words as he said them. “And… thank you, Stephen, I know this is you trusting me a lot, too, and… I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
Stephen nodded, his smile fading somewhat. “You’re right, I am putting a lot of trust in you. But… Well, it’s something we have to do if this is going to work. And I want it to work.”
Loki squeezed his hands, willing Stephen to see how serious about this he was. “I really, really want it to work, too. And I’m going to do everything that I can to prove that to you every day.”
Stephen nodded again, looking at him like… Like he loved him.
Which, Loki reminded himself, he did. Somehow.
“Good.” Stephen smiled. “So. Ready to go surprise some six-year-olds?”
Loki grinned, somehow feeling much better about this plan than he had only a few minutes ago. “Let’s do it.”
They found Wanda and Pietro in their room, playing some sort of game that seemed to involve a lot of Barbies being on the floor, and – for some unknown reason – the two of them standing on top of the Barbies.
And when Stephen told them that he’d asked Loki if he wanted to move in with them, and Loki had said yes, and what did they think about it, Pietro’s response was heartwarmingly instantaneous.
“Yeeeeeees!” the little boy shouted, whizzing around the room.
Aww. Awww.
Loki felt like he was melting as the familiar feeling of warmth and love that he had come to so associate with the three people surrounding him burned on within his core.
And Stephen was watching the vague blur that was Pietro with a small smile on his face and the kind of far-gone eyes that, as if it hadn’t been already been incredibly obvious, clearly spoke volumes towards how crazy about the kid he was.
And Loki knew he hadn’t known Pietro as long as Stephen had, but god did he love that kid. It was ridiculous, actually, how much he loved him.
Pietro stopped his whizzing after a moment of silence, screeching to a halt in front of Wanda. Wanda, who… looked like she didn’t know what to think. And Pietro blinked, appearing to take in the fact that his sister wasn’t reacting the same way he was. “Well hang on,” he whispered to Wanda in a volume that was still easily audible to Loki. “What’re we saying?”
Wanda frowned, seeming to share Pietro’s apparent belief that the two of them needed to have the exact same opinion about this, before whispering back, “I don’t know yet, hang on.”
Pietro went uncharacteristically still as he stood next to his sister.
Wanda looked at Loki, and he could see it in her eyes – the hesitation. And god did that rake through his heart.
He couldn’t help but remember, not so long ago, Wanda climbing up his leg and enthusiastically and unhesitatingly welcoming him into her household. And now… now she didn’t know what to think.
And that was his fault.
“…Well, last time you left,” Wanda finally said quietly.
“I know,” Loki agreed, crossing the distance between them to sit next to where she was standing, clearing away a small patch of floor to do it, and now they were both amidst the sea of Barbies littering the floor.
Loki took a breath. “I would understand if you didn’t want me to move in after what happened last time.” He shook his head, looking at her small frame and feeling a wave of overwhelming dedication to her and everything around her. “But I’m never ever leaving again, I promise. I’ll only leave if you or your daddy…” Loki paused, looking over at Pietro. Sure, he hadn’t been there when Loki had left them, but he was included in this too now. “If you or your daddy or Pietro want me to.”
Wanda looked back at Loki for a long moment, not rejecting the idea but clearly not fully on board with it either, before looking to Stephen. She squinted at her father. “You want Loki to live here, right daddy?”
For some reason that Loki couldn’t fully express, he felt his heart squeeze at that.
But Stephen crossed the room at her question to stand in front of Wanda and Pietro. And they were both looking up at him, like his answer to this question was very important to whatever their joint answer was going to be. Loki supposed it probably was. Stephen took one of their hands in each of his and sat down on a mostly Barbie-free patch of ground. Wanda and Pietro followed him easily to the ground.
“Yes,” Stephen said, for a moment looking over at Loki before looking back to his children. “Yes, I would really like it if Loki moved in with us. But what you guys want and feel comfortable with is always going to be the most important thing, alright? So if you guys don’t want Loki to move in, then he won’t move in.”
Wanda was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about it, and Loki felt his entire world narrow down to her little face as he watched her, wondering what she was going to say.
And god, if he did get to move in with them, if Wanda somehow was able to trust him with something so monumental… He would spend every day for the rest of their lives proving over and over again to Wanda – to all of them – that he was never going anywhere ever again.
And Loki had figured that when Wanda did speak, it would be regarding whether or not she wanted Loki to move in with them. Maybe she’d say she wanted more time to think about it, or she’d say yes, or… she’d say no. He’d figured those were the only options here.
To his surprise, though, that wasn’t what she said. Instead, she looked over at Loki before looking back again to Stephen decisively. “Um, okay, well. We need to talk to Loki without you here, Daddy.”
…Wait, what?
Loki was instantly curious. Did she want to say something that she didn’t think Stephen would like hearing? And what would that be? Whatever it was, he’d take it, but… Trepidation trickled into him.
What was this going to be – some kind of six-year-old beat down?
Stephen raised his eyebrows. “You do?”
“Yeah,” Pietro said assuredly, very quickly jumping aboard this plan of Wanda’s that Loki could only assume he knew nothing about.
He was so adorable. They both were. He had no idea what they may or may not be about to do to him, but they were absurdly cute. And it probably shouldn’t have, but that weirdly made the whole ‘no idea what they’re about to say or do to me’ thing feel pretty okay.
Wanda nodded. “Uh-huh.”
Stephen had to be wondering what this secret conversation would entail, too. But he shrugged. “Okay… Sure.” He fixed his gaze on them. “But just remember, however you guys feel about this is okay. And I don’t want you to make this choice based on what I want, or what Loki wants, or what you think anyone else might want – I want you to make this choice based on what you both want.”
Wanda and Pietro nodded in unison.
“Yeah, we will,” Pietro agreed.
Stephen took a deep breath, standing up. “Okay, good.” He looked at Loki for a moment, and Loki couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking, before shaking his head. “Alright, I’ll just… be downstairs.”
He looked at Loki again and shrugged, as though to say ‘good luck’, before turning and leaving the room, closing the bedroom door behind him.
And then it was just the three of them. And…
Okay, the cuteness daze was suddenly gone. And Loki had been scared around Wanda and Pietro before – mostly scared for them, really. But now, he found himself feeling legitimately nervous because of them.
Because… this could be it. Stephen had thought that they’d be relatively okay with it, sure, but even he – the person (or adult, anyway) who knew Wanda best – had admitted that he didn’t know for sure how Wanda would respond to this.
He could be in for absolutely anything.
Loki took a breath through the fluttering nervousness of the unknown that was enveloping him and focused on the two children in front of him.
“I want to hear whatever you have to say,” Loki said with as much calmness as he could. “But just know that it’s okay if you don’t want me to live here. I wouldn’t blame you.”
(It would be devastating, and he’d probably need to drown his sorrows in an absurd amount of ice-cream and possibly something much stronger, but. He didn’t need to add any of that.)
Wanda opened her mouth to speak and Loki felt his heart stop. But then…
“If you’re gonna live here, you have to live here forever,” she said, looking at him with a sense of utter solemnity that he didn’t often see from her.
Loki could feel his eyes widening. That… wasn’t a flat-out rejection.
Did that mean this might actually happen?
The possibility still seemed distant and he didn’t want to get his hopes up, but… Maybe it was a possibility.
Loki nodded. “Of course. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Okay, good,” Pietro said, squinting at him with suspicion as though he hadn’t eagerly sprinted around the room not five minutes ago at the prospect of Loki living with them.
Wanda nodded at Pietro’s words. And it was off-topic, he knew he should be focused on the conversation at hand, and he was, but. It was just so cute how they both seemed to feel that they needed to present a united front on any and all topics. Maybe some of the cuteness-induced daze was coming back.
“Well… We really like you, Loki,” Wanda said, and Loki felt warmth spreading within him once again. This day was proving to be quite the roller-coaster, but they liked him, and –
“I really like you, too,” he said quietly around the rapidly rising choking feeling in his throat.
“And it’d be really cool if you moved in with us,” Wanda continued, and. Loki was pretty sure he stopped breathing for a moment.
Because.
Because Wanda would like having him live here.
Wanda would like having him live here! (…And, by extension, he presumed, so would Pietro.)
They would like having him live here!
The ever-growing warmth threatened to bubble out of him. “I’m so glad you think so,” Loki said softly.
Pietro nodded, and now apparently it was Wanda’s turn to squint at him.
“Buuut…”
The single word punctured into him instantly. He forced himself to take a deep breath as she continued, still squinting at him suspiciously.
“What if you get dumb and leave again? How do we know you won’t just make everyone really sad again?”
…And, aside from the enduring tendency for his intelligence to be insulted… That was it, wasn’t it? The dreaded point that he didn’t know if he could ever get past?
Loki swallowed, meeting both of their eyes and pouring every ounce of fierce sincerity that he could into his words. “I promise you, I love you all so much. And I will never, ever, ever leave again. But… I guess there’s no way for you to know that for sure. You’d just have to trust me.”
And… that might not be enough. And he knew that.
Because he knew that he would die before he left them. He would have to be dragged away kicking and screaming – and even then, he’d do everything in his power to get back to them – before he caused that same kind of hurt to Stephen or Wanda or Pietro again.
He knew that with every bone in his body.
But they didn’t – they couldn’t.
They would just have to believe him, be led by a blind faith in him that couldn’t possibly be unshakable, not after the events of the past, and there was nothing that he could ever do to –
…Well hang on.
He frowned, an idea that was almost certainly a terrible one creeping into his mind. “…Well, I mean, there’s a blood oath. If it was a magically binding one, then you’d know I wouldn’t leave. But that’s… probably taking things about a million steps too far.”
This was a dumb idea, right? He probably shouldn’t enter into a blood pact with a six-year-old, even if she would technically qualify as a magical entity that one could make binding oaths to.
But Wanda, apparently not having similar thoughts, looked at Pietro with interest.
“A blood oath?” she asked him. He nodded vehemently. (And why was she asking him? Pietro didn’t know the first thing about magic, did he?)
Wanda turned back to Loki, looking considerably more cheerful. “Okay, let’s do it!”
He stared at her.
…Fuck.
He hadn’t thought this through, had he?
Clearly he hadn’t, because there was an adorable little girl in front of him with wide eyes, readily agreeing to enter into a blood pact with him.
“Wait, really?” Loki asked faintly.
Wanda nodded, as though that was obvious.
“Ooooh, I’ll get the knife!” Pietro shouted, whizzing off, before visibly turning right back around at the door. “Wait, do you guys need candles?”
“Yeah, you gotta have candles!” Wanda agreed eagerly, as though Pietro was being completely rational right now.
“Wait wait wait,” Loki interjected before Pietro could rush off again. Two little faces obediently looked at him, and a part of him was actually rather shocked that they’d stopped their blood-oath preparations for long enough to listen to him. “You guys actually want to do this.”
“Well duh.”
“Yeah, obviously.”
Loki blinked.
Okay. Okay, Wanda actually wanted to make a blood oath with him.
And what did it say about him that an enormous part of him that was almost certainly being idiotic right now really wanted to go along with it?
“…You know what, I would do it, actually.”
“Good!” Wanda said happily, looking weirdly content with this situation.
He shook his head. “I would. But… I don’t think I should make a blood pact with you without your daddy’s permission, so…”
He trailed off. Because that seemed like a pretty reasonable expectation, right? Stephen had never expressed said expectation to him explicitly – because why would he have? But it certainly felt right.
Wanda pouted. “But… but what if daddy doesn’t want us to make a blood pact? Then we’ll never know if you’re really going to stay forever.”
She made some fair points. (And, truth be told, at her age he would’ve been more than willing to enter into a blood pact, too. He… even had a few times. He was still magically bound to never tell a soul that a random kid in his fourty-second grade class had been the one that had broken his mother’s vase.)
But that didn’t mean that Wanda should do it.
Loki shrugged. “Yeah, maybe.” He looked at her more carefully. “But look, Wanda, I told him I’d never lie to him again, and I meant that. And that means I’m not going to keep anything from him.” He blinked. “…Like a blood pact with his daughter.”
Wanda’s pout deepened.
Oh god. She was good.
But he could do this. He could be strong. For Stephen.
He took a deep breath. “You know what, Wanda? I’m not going to make a blood pact with you without telling your daddy. But if he says it’s okay, then yeah, what the hel- …heck, let’s do it.”
He’d been told multiple times over the years that he really needed to be more selective about entering into blood pacts (mostly by his mother in an impossibly exasperated yet somehow still loving tone). But… He had an unshakably strong feeling that he wouldn’t regret this one.
And it was almost certainly insane of him to be thinking this way, right?
But he didn’t care. He’d given up on not doing insane things a long time ago. He’d do this in a heartbeat if Stephen somehow agreed to it.
Wanda stared back at him reluctantly. “…Okay, fine.”