Archive of Our Own

Nile and Booker snuck into the house, searching for the laptop and maybe a mobile phone they wanted to clone so that they could keep track of a rogue General. Nile had just turned a corner when she realised she had lost Booker along the way. At first, Nile thought Booker had found the kitchen, but instead, she found him looking at a painting.

Nile: "Why are you staring at a painting when we're kinda in a hurry? The General is home in less than an hour."

Booker: "Look at that ass on the painting."

Nile: "No, thank you, and come on."

Booker: "Just humour me. Look at that ass. Does it remind you of someone we both know very well?"

Nile sighed and did it. The painting was of a young man lying on a daybed in a very alluring position and was totally naked, reading a book. You couldn't see his face because he was facing away from the painter and was lying on his stomach. You could see the curves of his muscular back and legs, but it was his plump ass that was clearly in focus in the painting.

Nile: "What the hell. Is that Nicky's ass?"

Booker: "Yep, and we both know who the artist is."

Nile: "And that artist wants to know how you knew it was his lover's naked ass. Someone is in trouble."

Booker: "Not more than you because you also recognised Nicky's naked ass."

Nile: "It's really their own fault for running around naked whenever they want..."

Nile looked at Booker with a look of dread on her face.

Nile: "Now that I come to think about it, because we have seen their naked asses so many times, we can now recognise them in paintings. That is a scary thought."

Booker: "It is, yes, but they deserve to know that one of their paintings has ended up in the hands of a rogue general who aspires to become a dictator, so who is going to tell them?"

Nile: "True, but..."

Booker: "Glad you're volunteering to tell them. You're a good friend, Nile."

Booker patted Nile's shoulder before walking on. It took Nile a second before she followed Booker.

Nile: "I did not agree to that. And if I do it, you owe me big. Like, really big. I'm thinking of a vintage handbag from Hermès and a weekend in Paris at a nice hotel with full room service and a bathtub."

Booker: "If that means I don't have to do it, deal. Good luck. You're going to need it. We all know how touchy Joe is about his paintings of Nicky."

Nile: "Thanks. And we need to address our other problem. Their naked asses."

Booker: "Well, Andy has tried for as long as she has known them and has failed miserably."

Nile: "Yeah, okay, maybe there is something about that some causes are lost causes, but that doesn't mean we have to live with it."

Booker: "If you come up with an idea that works, please let Andy and me in on it. We will be in your debt for the rest of our lives."

Nile: "I smell more handbags in the future. Where is the General's office?"

Booker looked at his phone and pointed to Nile's right.

Booker: "That door, and there is a dog in there. A big one, no wait, two big dogs."

Nile: "Don't look at me. I'm the one who has to tell Joe about his painting, so the dogs are on you. Unless you want to switch."

Booker took a can with knockout gas.

Booker: "Rather furious dogs than a furious artist."

Booker quickly opened the door, and as predicted, the dogs charged for the door, so Booker quickly threw the can in and closed the door again. Then he looked at his phone again.

Nile: "Still saying you got the easier job of those two."

Booker: "True, and we can go inside."

Booker opened the door for Nile. While Booker cloned the laptop, Nile checked on the dogs before picking up the empty can. Then Nile walked over to the window to look down at the courtyard.

Nile: "Book, we got a problem."

Booker: "Bigger than you have to tell Joe about the painting?"

Nile rolled her eyes before loading her rifle.

Nile: "You're still not funny. Our new problem is the General and his small army outside. I think they know we're here."

Booker: "Told you it was a bad idea knocking out Junior."

Nile: "He had it coming with his wandering hands. Are you done?"

Booker: "In a second. So, what way out? Jump down from the roof or face them?"

Nile: "I just got this sweater, so I prefer dirt on it instead of blood. Much easier to clean."

Booker took the thumb drive and put it in his pocket. Then they left the office and had just made it to the staircase when bullets started to fly around them.

Booker: "I think it was the fifth guy to your left who shot you in the arm. Just in case you want to send him the cleaning bill."

Booker threw over a sideboard so they had something to hide behind. Then Booker checked on Nile's arm.

Nile: "You're still not funny, but thanks for trying."

Booker: "Well, it's a work in process. How's the arm?"

Nile: "All healed up. Do you have an idea how we can make it to the roof?"

Booker: "Cover your face."

Both Booker and Nile used the scarf around their necks to cover their noses and mouths. Then Booker threw two smoke grenades, and while the General's men were coughing, Booker looked over the sideboard before ducking again.

Booker: "On my signal, run. Keep low."

Nile nodded, and seconds later, Booker threw the rest of the smoke grenades. Then Booker used his fingers to count down, and on one, Nile got up and ran for the staircase with Booker right after her. While they ran, the General's men started to shoot after them, but bullets were flying in all directions because no one could see anything in the smoke. Suddenly, the bullets stopped flying because the General was shouting something.

Nile: "What is that about?"

Booker: "The General isn't happy about all his ruined artwork and other knick-knacks."

Then Nile and Booker saw the General shoot one of his men.

Booker: "I'll tell you what that was about once we get outside."

They made it to the rooftop with the General's men after them. They made it to the edge and jumped down onto the ground. They broke their legs when they hit the ground, but because Booker had hit the ground seconds before Nile, he dragged her to safety in the treelines. They took a moment to heal up and catch their breath before making it back to the car.

Nile: "Damn it. I was really happy about this sweater."

Booker: "Told you it was a bad idea to wear white during a mission."

Nile: "Yeah, yeah, I know."

Nile looked out of the window.

Nile: "Oh, that reminds me. Why did the General shoot one of his men?"

Booker: "About that. Remember when the bullets were flying around us?"

Nile nodded.

Booker: "One of the bullets hit the painting of Nicky. And guess where."

Nile: "No, no, you're kidding me. Not in the ass."

Booker: "Yep, good luck telling Joe that someone shot Nicky in the ass."

Nile rubbed her face while letting out a frustrating groan.

Nile: "You owe me big, Book. Like, really big."

Booker: "Send me the bill."

During the ride back to the safe house, Nile wrecked her brain while trying to come up with an explanation that wouldn't cause Joe to have a massive heart attack when he heard someone had shot Nicky in the ass. Nile knew that it was only a painting of Nicky, but still, Nile knew very well how Joe reacted when someone harmed Nicky.