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Taurtis was sleeping.
Now, typically, Grian wasn't one to wake people. He didn't want anyone to be mad at him because of it. He hated people being upset with him. Because if that happened, then his thoughts would go bad, and something bad would happen.
Which was why he needed Taurtis.
He had his hands pressed to his ears, trying to quiet his thoughts. His eyes nervously darted between the kitchen and the bathroom and his bedroom. There were a lot of sharp things in all of those places. He didn't want to hurt himself anymore.
But that was the problem. A slow trickle of blood spilled down his arm and soaked into the sleeve of his shirt, staining the white cuff red. A tear rolled down his cheek. He didn't know how to clean it up. He needed Taurtis, and he needed him now.
He gently tapped Taurtis' shoulder with his elbow, whispering.
"Dada," Grian said in a small, almost whiny, choked-up voice. "Wake up, pwease."
Taurtis' eyes opened slowly, and he rubbed them with his fists. "What's up, Gri'?" He blinked, rolling towards the small boy and pulling the blanket over his shoulders. "What's wrong?"
"'M sorry," Grian apologized, the words high-pitched. "'M real sorry." He closed his eyes, his brow furrowed. He sat on the ottoman in front of Taurtis, pulling his hands off of his ears.
Loud. His thoughts were loud. They told him to do bad things. They told him to go back to his bathroom and sit against the wall across from the sink again and make more cuts on his arm. They called him a coward.
"Sweetheart, why are you sorry? You don't need to be sorry for anything. Can you come show me what happened?" Taurtis asked. He was confused when Grian simply stayed put, covering his left arm with his right and pressing his lips together firmly. It was too loud. All too loud.
Grian shamefully extended his right arm, squeezing his eyes tight. He readied himself for a round of shouting, his lips pressed into a line, his brow furrowed. Taurtis took his hand gently.
"Oh, baby," Taurtis cooed. "Come here. I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise," Taurtis' voice was soft and comforting, like a warm hug. Slowly, Grian let himself sit next to his caregiver.
"'M sorry, dada," Grian apologized again. "Don' know why I did."
"It's okay to cry, little one. Let's get you cleaned up, okay?" Taurtis pressed featherlight touches to his back, asking if he could pick him up. Grian nodded slowly, tugging his sleeve back down as Taurtis carried him to the sink.
The marble was cold, and Grian didn't like it. He sat cross-legged on the counter, rocking back and forth. He fidgeted with his sleeve, trying to ignore the burning sensation in his arm as Taurtis flipped the sink on.
"It's gonna sting a little bit, but it's gonna feel much better when we're all done, okay?" Taurtis made sure Grian knew what was going to happen. Grian nodded shyly, his hand moving up to his hair and pulling at it. He tugged hard, attempting to hurt himself where Taurtis couldn't tell. He knew he shouldn't do that, but the urge was too strong.
He used his free hand to pull that arm out of his hair, whining in frustration. He felt the urge to hurt himself. It was strong, and it was loud in his head. Grian pressed his hands back to his ears, still rocking. His tears were hot as they streamed down his face.
"Lovebug?" Taurtis asked. "C'mere."
Grian hopped off of the counter, shuffling to Taurtis. "Dada," Grian acknowledged quietly. Taurtis extended his arms, asking for a hug. Grian gave him one, attempting to smile a bit but only crying harder. Taurtis kissed his temple, rubbing comforting circles into his back.
"It's okay, kiddo. Can you run your arm under here for me?" Taurtis asked, gesturing to the sink. Grian gave him a small nod, running his wrist under the cool water. He flinched when it burned, biting his lip. He reached for Taurtis' hand. Taurtis squeezed it tight before loosening his grasp, tapping Grian's arm twice to tell him that it was okay to take it out of the water.
"Good job, hun!" Taurtis smiled, wrapping his arms around Grian's shoulders, hugging the little tight. Grian smiled, drying his arm on a dish towel.
"Since you've been so good, you can pick out which band-aids you want!" Taurtis suggested. Grian flashed him a smile, nodding. He turned around, making grabby hands at Taurtis.
"Uppy?" he requested. Taurtis smiled, picking him up and sitting Grian on his hip. He began to walk him toward the bathroom before frowning. He probably shouldn't go back in there, Taurtis thought.
Instead, he turned into Grian's room. Grian laid his head on Taurtis' shoulder, sucking on his thumb. Taurtis set him down onto his bed, wrapping a fuzzy blanket around the small boy. Grian curiously wrapped his fingers around the blanket, nonverbally declaring that yes, he liked how it felt. He rubbed it over his face, laying face down on his bed.
"Sof'," he mumbled. Taurtis smiled, rubbing large circles into Grian's back with the flat palm of his hand.
"Do you like that one, sweet prince?" Taurtis asked. Grian nodded, stretching his arms out and laying on his bed like a starfish. Taurtis bent down to press a small kiss to Grian's temple.
"Will you be okay if I go and see what band-aids I have? So you can choose?" Taurtis asked. Grian nodded softly, not letting go of the balled up fistfuls of blanket in his hands.
"Otay, dada," he mumbled.
Taurtis chuckled, walking to the bathroom. Grian listened to his footsteps fade away, sitting up and pulling the blanket into his lap. Slowly, he let himself begin to rock again, this time side-to-side. He happily babbled to himself, fidgeting with the blanket as he rocked.
Left and right. Left and right. Right and left.
He looked up to see Taurtis grinning, an aluminum tin of bandages in his hand. He crouched next to Grian on his bed with a chuckle. "Having fun there, little one?" Taurtis asked.
"Mhm!" Grian responded simply, continuing to rock. Rocking had always been comforting to him, the motion soothing. It made him happy.
"Do you wanna choose which ones you want?" Taurtis asked. He opened the tin. Grian looked at the bandages in wonder, sifting through patterns and colors before picking out five. Two of them had little stars on them, one had little brown-and-grey cats, one was patterned with tiny rainbows, and the final had hearts.
"Kibbies," Grian mumbled simply. He held out his selections to Taurtis, holding his arm out. "Dada? Put on?" he requested. Taurtis nodded, taking the paper off of the bandages and sticking them onto Grian's cuts. He finished off the action with a kiss on each cut, smiling when he was done.
"Feel better, little one?" Taurtis asked. Grian nodded happily, tugging on Taurtis' sleeve and pulling him closer. Grian pulled his caregiver onto the bed, tackling him with a hug and resting his head on his dada's chest.
"Love youuuu~" Grian giggled. He held Taurtis' hand, pulling the blanket over the pair of them.
"Cuddles?" Grian asked, his voice small and tired.
"Of course, sweet prince," Taurtis agreed. "I'm sure you've had a long day. C'mere," he wrapped his arms around Grian's back, quickly kissing his forehead.
Taurtis could use another nap.
And this time, Grian could join him.
"Love you," Grian mumbled again before closing his eyes. Love you, too, Taurtis thought before the two of them fell asleep.