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Suigetsu just wanted a snack.
It was a little after nine, past dinner time, but Orochimaru just had to indulge in his maternal instincts for once in his life, and forbid the rest of his "followers" (loosely termed of course) from eating after curfew. Which was bull, because the sharp-toothed ninja didn't ever wake up before 2 pm anyway, so whether this was really dinner or a super late lunch no one really knew. Or cared.
And so Suigetsu snuck out of his "room" (again, more of a stretch since it was basically a glorified hole) to find something to eat. Preferably, the aptly-named "Fish Flakes," a popular brand of chips from Hidden Mist. He could have sworn his last bag of goodies was snatched away from him by Uchiha Sasuke's Fairy Godmother late teacher, and so decided to head straight to said Sannin's quarters. Yes, it was nighttime, but Orochimaru didn't usually finish his bubble bath until 10, and even after that routinely wore a facial mask (packed with antioxidants and anti-aging serums) for another half hour.
He didn't expect it to be occupied.
There're two figures in the room. One of them's lying down on a bed, long dark locks swirling right next to them on the yellow sheets, gold eyes gleaming in the dark. The other hovered right above them, long dark locks framing the narrow jaw like curtains, gold eyes also gleaming in the dark. It's hot, sweaty, limbs and skin moving in sync.
"Oh Oro-chan," moaned the pinned down figure, voice smooth, silky, skin glistening like wet nose hairs. Their face was angular, a little on the pretty side.
"That's right baby," said the hovering figure, face the exact replica of the person underneath them. Actually, even the bodies were pretty much the same, except the one on the bottom had strangely flabby pecs, and missing a mini Oro, among other things.
And that was when Suigetsu stealthily left the doorway like a ninja (no pun intended) and headed to the Super Secret Lab, the one with all the clones. Not without dragging a very confused Juugo from his nappy-nap, night cap and bunny slippers in tow.
"What's the matter—"
"Your face is stupid."
In just seconds, everything in the room was destroyed. Orochimaru was definitely going to nag. He could hear it already. But at least this time, he could shift the blame on someone else.
12 years later...
Sweaty and bored after catching the panda-bear from their mission again, Team Konohamaru sat on the steps of the Hokage tower, sans the jounin who's off giving the mission report.
"Oh yeah Mitsuki, we never found out about your parents…" said Sarada, eyes narrowing. "Just who the hell are you?”
“Orochimaru," chirped Mitsuki.
“O...Orochimaru. You’re saying you’re Orochimaru’s son?! But you need two parents. Who is your mother… or maybe… father?”
And then, like he's been waiting for this his whole life:
“Yes.”