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The scent of melon and warm vanilla moved through their shared bedroom, the summer breeze from the open window pushing the gentle sweetness into the space. Jesper smoothed his palms over the freshly changed sheets, eyes flickering between the decorative pillows and the stuffed animals sitting on top of them.
He settled his hands on his hips, getting a good look at his childhood plushie. In comparison to his boyfriend’s stuffed fox, his own little dog seemed worse for wear. Jesper frowned, leaning forward so he could smooth his thumbs over Snuggles’ fur just around his eyes. Of course Snuggles would look more worn out than Maple, but Maple didn’t look quite as new either.
Jesper touched the ears of Snuggles the dog and Maple the fox, while he was cleaning he and his boyfriend’s bedroom, maybe their stuffed animals could be cleaned too. Honestly Jesper didn’t know how to go around washing Snuggles or Maple, it just now occurred to him that his father had been on stuffed animal washing duty since his mother passed.
He stepped around the bed in his slippers, admiring their freshly vacuumed, dusted and decluttered bedroom. Jesper thought about taking a photo to show his father the good work he’d done, as well as that he’d taught him well to keep clean. Before he could do it, his body had taken him out of the bedroom and down the hall.
Wylan had been cleaning the living room, a single-wick candle burning on the centre of the coffee table. His phone was sitting on the couch, playing his discover weekly playlist into the quiet air. Every week or two the roommates traded chores, this week it was Jesper and Wylan’s turn, and they’d been cleaning together for a few hours now.
Jesper looked around at the perfectly arranged couch, carefully placed cushions and a throw blanket draped over the back. He softly tapped his hands over the blanket as he passed it, Wylan had been doing laundry in the midst of his sweeping and vacuuming. Jesper rounded the corner to get to the washing machine and dryer that was tucked neatly into a closet in the hallway.
Wylan stood in front of the drier, a pile of laundry cradled in his arms, only the top of his redgold curls were visible over the neatly folded clothes. Jesper smiled, taking in the sight of Wylan in high-waisted green plaid pants and a pair of slippers that matched his.
“Baby?” Jesper called, mouth falling open when Wylan’s shoulders shot up in surprise.
“Oh, God, you scared me!” Wylan tilted his head up so his eyes were now visible over a pair of Jesper’s jeans. “Hi.” He grinned shyly when Jesper pushed his hand into the pile of clothes he was carrying and took half of it into his arms.
“Hi, sorry, baby,” Jesper snorted, leaning down to press an apologetic kiss to Wylan’s temple. Wylan leaned into it, hugging the clothes tightly as he watched Jesper wander down the hallway half a step in front of him so they could go together. “I just wanted to tell you that Maple and Snuggles look a little dirty too.”
“Really?” Wylan gasped, quickening his stride so he could get to the bedroom faster. Jesper laughed to himself, the sight of Wylan with his hands full, nearly tripping over his house slippers was something he’d never take for granted. “Let me see,”
He ran through the doorway, put their freshly washed clothes on the end of the bed and kneeled on the floor beside the top of the bed.
“The room’s so clean, you did such a good job, honey.” Wylan babbled, hands shooting out to grab both their stuffed animals. “Oh, no, I got Maple all messy, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure Maple will forgive you,” Jesper added the clothes he carried to the end of the bed, wandering over to where Wylan kneeled and brushing his fingers through his hair. “Thank you, the living room looks great too.”
He watched Wylan inspect every inch of Maple the fox, a small frown on his face at the prospect of dirtying such a meaningful gift from his boyfriend's father.
“Baby? You’ve gone quiet.” Jesper lightly jolted when Wylan jumped up onto the bed and thrusted Maple, tag-up at his boyfriend.
“I don’t know how to read laundry tags.” Wylan usually just washed things by colour and texture, he never bothered to learn how to read all the symbols. Jesper gave an unconvincing smile, all teeth.
“We’ll search it up? Or ask Dad?” Jesper laughed under his breath when Wylan grabbed him around the waist in a soft hug, nodding quickly at the idea of asking Colm Fahey how to wash Maple the fox and Snuggles the dog. “Now that I think about it, I’ve never actually seen Snuggles get dirty or Dad wash him. I’d just come home and Snuggles would look good as new.”
“That’s so sweet.” Wylan pressed his face into Jesper’s stomach to contain himself, which didn’t really work, but he got a faceful of his boyfriend so he didn’t mind. He sighed, all the nerves and panic from potentially screwing up his beloved stuffed animal went away. “Snuggles looks really good for how old he is.” He reached back for the puppy and looked between their stuffed animals.
“What can I say? I’m a gentle lover.” Jesper mumbled, making Wylan giggle into both plushies, shaking his head softly. He knew this, more than anything in the world he knew this.
Jesper texted his father with one hand, the other absently petting Wylan’s hair as he inspected the differences in their fur textures and the wear and tear of their features. Colm was a slow texter, but he tried his best, and Jesper read off all the directions as they came through.
Snuggles, Maple, Wylan, Jesper and their matching star covered slippers made their way into the bathroom. With all the focus in the world, Jesper turned on the tap and tested the water temperature again and again. Colm had told him to get Snuggles and Maple damp but not soaked, just enough that the soap would lather up.
Wylan and Jesper crowded around the sink, eyes flickering between their hands and their stuffed animals softly cradled between shaky fingers. Jesper offered Wylan small cheek kisses whenever he looked particularly distressed about the state of Maple, and Wylan murmured soft thanks with as much breath as he could get.
“How do we dry them?” Wylan’s voice broke as he said it and he flushed bright red, but Jesper had never made fun of him for being scared. If Wylan didn’t know something, Jesper would help him figure it out. The same way Jesper could come to Wylan for reassurance and Wylan would ease him into comfort. “I just don’t want to ruin Maple.”
“We won’t, we’re all okay.” Jesper’s careful fingers rubbed a small stain out of Maple’s paw and Wylan looked up at him, smiling so big it hurt a little. “Dad said a hairdryer on cool will do the trick.” He reached for a clean face cloth so they could scrub Maple clean without getting him too wet.
“I’ve just never had something so nice,” Wylan didn’t have to explain himself to Jesper, he was just saying things they both knew, that childhood for Wylan wasn’t full of Maple and gentle reassurance. “How do you…deal with this?” He felt like he was going to have a heart attack, and it was a stuffed animal being rubbed clean with a soft cloth and even softer hands.
“You know, I’m not so good at the whole being alone thing,” Jesper turned his head so he was talking into Wylan’s shoulder. Wylan leaned up for a lingering kiss, smiling against his lips when Jesper moved to grab his face but stopped when he remembered he had soapy hands. “I’ve always been super attached…I always wanted my parents…and then I always wanted Snuggles. I’d cry really, really hard if I lost him behind the couch or if Dad had to wash spilled juice off of him.”
“I’m not strong enough to think about you as a little baby.” Wylan might cry thinking about it, he really hated having wet and soapy hands, he wanted to hold and be held. “I think if something happened to Maple I’d have to…I don’t know…commit homicide.”
“You…have been hanging out with a certain Kaz Brekker too much,” Jesper touched his nose to Wylan’s cheek and kissed him loudly a few times, making him laugh in shock. They traded comically loud kisses for a few moments, trying to see who could make the other laugh harder. The answer was always going to be Jesper, who won by biting Wylan’s cheek softly instead.
“They’re all soap.” Wylan pulled away, out of breath and bright pink from laughing so hard. Maple and Snuggles had been lathered into a clean, white soapy mess. Their tiny beady eyes and noses were peeking out from behind all the bubbles, neither of them had to heart to make their stuffed animals potentially uncomfortable. “How do we wash them off?”
“Okay, Dad said cold water.” Jesper admitted this part might be the scariest, they had to get all the soap out but he didn’t want to use too much water in case something went wrong. Wylan looked up at Jesper, who gently pushed the faucet handle until it was cool. “Are you also terrified? My daddy has been washing my stuffed animal this whole time, this is my first go.”
“I’m also terrified.” Wylan confirmed, he grabbed Jesper’s hand after it left the faucet. “I feel kinda better knowing I’m not scared alone. Dad said cold water, and it’s been fine every time he did it. Why would it be any different for us?” He trusted Jesper and he trusted Colm. Snuggles had survived all baths before this one, this one would be the exact same.
“I don’t know, it probably won’t be different.” Jesper admitted, he squeezed Wylan’s hand and then tilted his head until it rested on his boyfriend’s. It meant a lot, not being alone. With a small sigh, he dunked Snuggles underneath the running water and Wylan laughed in disbelief.
“Oh my God, I can’t look.” Wylan could live with a soapy Maple, he couldn’t bear to see his little fox drowning. “Wait, here, less scary.” He reached forward to push the handle down, easing up the water pressure and making Jesper snort.
“I was going for a fast approach, this is less… cruel?” Jesper smoothed his hand over Snuggles to get rid of all the sudsy soap, squeezing out any excess water when he felt his childhood stuffed animal getting too heavy.
“Snuggles knows you didn’t mean it.” Wylan perched Maple on the edge of the sink and rushed to the linen closet. Jesper leaned back as far as he could to watch him, until his long arms weren’t long enough to keep a soggy Snuggles above the sink.
Wylan returned with another towel, this one from the kitchen. He neatly folded it in half and held it out for Snuggles, which made Jesper sigh wistfully, hurriedly squishing the plushie until he wasn’t dripping.
“No fucking way.” Jesper grinned at the sight of Wylan neatly tucking Snuggles into the towel, like he was covering himself fresh out of the shower. Snuggles joined a soapy Maple on the edge of the sink and Jesper pushed Wylan against the bathroom counter to kiss him for this.
Wylan laughed into Jesper’s mouth, holding his dripping wet hands away from his boyfriend as he kissed him back tenderly. Jesper pulled away with a small pout, eyes only leaving Wylan so Snuggles tucked into a towel could be paid attention to.
“Don’t cry, Jes.” Wylan dried his hands on his pants, reaching for his boyfriend and rubbing his arm softly. Jesper made a big show of wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist, he kissed Wylan on the cheek one more time. Jesper’s careful hands picked up Maple and began rinsing him out, gentle and slowly. “He looks very clean.”
“Doesn’t he?” Jesper didn’t have to look very hard, a little gentle hand soap and cool water had made their plushies squeaky clean. “Should we steal Nina’s hair dryer? Hers is way better than ours.” Snuggles and Maple deserved the best, even if this meant facing Nina’s wrath.
“I’ll ask her very nicely.” Wylan had a plan, and that plan was getting Maple wrapped in a little towel then sending Nina a photo to explain the situation. All Wylan had to do was ask and Nina would say yes, even act offended that Wylan thought he had to ask.
Wylan didn’t have to wait more than two minutes after speaking his question into his phone and sending it. Nina replied with a teary eyed photo, her message screaming at Wylan to take anything he wanted from her room if it meant making Snuggles and Maple happy.
He tiptoed into her bedroom even though she wasn’t home, and didn’t touch anything but the hair dryer tucked into the girls bathroom. He’d bring it back as soon as they were done, and it would go right where he found it.
Wylan peeked his head through the doorway of the bedroom he shared with his boyfriend and smiled at the sight of Jesper carrying around two towel wrapped plushies like babies. He dropped the borrowed hair dryer onto the bed so he could use his phone camera to its full potential.
“Oh, there you are, baby.” Jesper wandered towards Wylan, offering him Maple. He saw the phone at the last second, taking a small step back. “Did I ruin your photo?” He offered Wylan a bright smile and he shook with giddy laughter, shaking his head softly.
“It’s a video, nothing’s ruined.” Wylan whispered, so he didn’t ruin it, and Jesper cradled their plushies, one in each arm. Jesper made sure to show off their little towels, letting whoever watched this video know that they were clean and well taken care of.
“This is Maple our…what? Six month old?” Jesper leaned forward with the small fox in his arms and smiled softly. “And this is Snuggles, our…15 year old? Damn, is Snuggles 15?” Jesper softly began counting on his fingers before his words replayed in his head and he cleared his throat. “Oh, actually, cut the cameras, baby.”
Wylan, bright red, and a little shaky, already stopped recording. They stared at each other for a few long seconds, then looked away because everything was happening too quickly. Jesper softly set the stuffed animals down beside the hair dryer, and brought his hand up to Wylan’s cheek.
“Did that…make your stomach like…really hurt?” Jesper whispered under his breath, and Wylan nodded his head quickly, he flushed all the way down to his chest.
“Yeah, thinking about you…with our…um…kids.” Wylan could barely get the words out, his stomach hurt worse than when he was just thinking about it. Saying it out loud, dreaming about it outside of his head with Jesper. His stomach twisted with butterfly wings and fizzy soda.
“Dry the children.” Jesper tapped his free hand over Wylan’s hip softly, leaning down to give him a small kiss on the forehead. “They’re going to get sick, does that actually happen or is that just something parents say?”
“It’s just something parents say,” Wylan laughed under his breath, so much for not thinking about being a parent with his boyfriend. He softly shook all the nerves out of his hands, hoping they’d leave through his fingertips. “Okay, let me plug this in.” He leaned over the bed, grabbing the hair dryer and reaching for the nearest outlet.
Jesper saw an opportunity and took it, gently patting Wylan on the butt and making him laugh in disbelief. Wylan wiggled over the side of the bed until he could plug the hair dryer in, and then held out a hand for a plushie. Jesper handed over Maple and the hair dryer was turned on, cool and low.
Wylan and Jesper sat on their bed together, paying special attention to their stuffed animals between them. They couldn’t talk much over the sound of the hair dryer, just share glances and let their fingers brush over fur at the same time. Because they couldn’t bear the thought of either plushie feeling left out, they got dried at the same time, which would take longer but would be worth it to put their minds at ease.
Jesper got up at some point, bringing the towels back to the bathroom so they could be hung to dry and used another time. On the way back, he brought a small hairbrush, something just for travel, because he thought it was the perfect size. Wylan laid on his stomach, softly brushing through Maple’s fur as he watched Jesper keep little eyes uncovered.
After many minutes of brushing and drying their stuffed animals clean, they were completely ready to be held again. Wylan held Maple up to the overhead light, turning him around to check him at all angles. Jesper smoothed his hands over Snuggles, ensuring he was dry and fluffy. Then, when Wylan was fussing with Maple’s nose, Jesper tilted him over so the puppy kissed the fox on the cheek.
“I think they’re very happy.” Jesper murmured, collecting the cord of Nina’s hair dryer and setting it down on the desk. Wylan held Maple to his chest, he had yet to pass the hug test. Jesper watched with sparkling eyes, ruffling Wylan’s hair when he sighed happily into his stuffed animal’s fur. “I know you’re happy, baby.”
“I am happy, so happy.” Wylan picked up Snuggles and opened his arms up for his boyfriend to join the little group hug. Jesper wrapped himself around Wylan, pushing Wylan back into the bed so it could be a snuggle instead. “Is Snuggles the perfect amount of soft and fluffy?”
“He’s fluffier than usual.” Jesper sighed, blissful and grateful that their afternoon dedicated to bathing their stuffed animals had gone completely fine. It was more than fine, Jesper thought it was perfect. “He smells good, or is that you?”
“I dunno.” Wylan offered up his neck and Jesper gave him a sniff, and a small kiss above his collarbone. Jesper readjusted Maple and Snuggles so they were perched on Wylan’s chest, and traced his boyfriend’s jawline gently. “What’s the verdict?”
“Oh, it was Snuggles, but you still smell very nice.” Jesper had forgotten about everything he was meant to be doing when he saw Wylan laying in their bed comfortably. “That wasn’t so bad, nobody exploded or got a limb ripped off.”
“That’s what you thought was gonna happen?” Wylan wrapped his arms around Maple, Snuggles and Jesper, pulling his boyfriend down to lay on his chest. “I was scared their fur would lose fluffiness or we wouldn’t dry them properly and it would mold.”
“Super terrifying.” Jesper touched the stuffed animals to make sure every inch of them were dry, he didn’t want anything to go wrong now after hours of gentle care. “We’re all okay, thank fuck.”
“We are okay,” Wylan turned his head at the sound of the front door swinging shut. Then he looked at their clock and smiled. Hurried footsteps echoed down the hallway, somebody was kicking off their shoes while walking. “Neens is home.”
“I’m coming in!” She yelled from the bedroom door, grabbing the doorknob and pushing into the room. Jesper eased himself off of Wylan, he didn’t want to but Nina was known to make a big deal out of their insistence to lay on each other like blankets. “May I see the little boys?”
“Of course, how was work by the way?” Wylan handed over the stuffed animals and Nina hugged them to her chest, trading a box of cake for them. “Ooh, Jes, lemon bundt cake.” He got on his knees and held the box out for his boyfriend, whose eyes had grown wide at the promise of lemon cake.
“Welcome home, Nina, I love you Nina.” Jesper said, eyes glued to the huge slice of cake, he was about to leave to grab a fork when Nina supplied one from work purse. “Baby, want some?”
“Work was sooo damn busy, but I got lots of free coffee.” Nina batted her eyes, she took full advantage of any excuse to get free stuff from her job. “Nobody wants that fucking cake, you garbage disposal of a man.”
“Just a little,” Wylan opened his mouth to accept the first bite of the slice of cake, smiling when Jesper stuck the fork into his mouth to hold it. “Thanks for letting us borrow your hair dryer, it’s on the desk.”
“I am so happy, no, honoured, to be of help.” Nina held Maple and Snuggles like they were indeed babies, even going as far as bouncing them rhythmically. “Could you hurry up and make that plushie account? I need my daily content.”
“We keep forgetting,” Jesper said this around his fork because he was busy deconstructing the box so it was more of a plate or tray. “Cake first, Snuggles and Maple on social media later.”
“Why on earth were you in the bathroom together for so long? With the door open?” Kaz manifested in the doorway without any signs or any noise. Jesper jolted into the desk, Nina screamed like he was a serious threat to real children, and Wylan had seen his shadow down the hall.
“Bath time.” Wylan gestured to Nina cradling a freshly washed Maple and Snuggles. Kaz hummed in consideration, though he was mostly looking at Wylan’s hands framing the stuffed animals.
“Dude, you’ve gotta try this.” Jesper offered Kaz his fork, which had been in both Wylan and his mouth. Kaz seemed to know this without asking, he pulled a face and Nina tossed another napkin wrapped fork at him.
“You guys just cleaned in here.” Nina said suddenly, aware of the burning candle and the lemon cake crumbs threatening to disturb the peace. “Everybody out, here you are little darlings, get out of here, idiots.” She shooed Kaz and Jesper, handed the stuffed animals over to Wylan for safekeeping and then shooed them some more.
Wylan laughed in surprise, hurriedly tucking the fox and the puppy into bed as his friends were ushered into the hall. He did take a picture because he made sure they were holding paws, and maybe he would remember to post or maybe he’d stare at an album in giddy silence like usual.
He’d basically put the plushies down for a nap, then returned to his friends in the kitchen trying to evenly split a single slice of cake. They were going off an honour system, trusting each other to not eat their own share.
What happened instead were narrowed eyes, lots of accusatory pointing and asking Wylan to be an impartial judge. He didn’t know if Jesper took a bigger bite than Nina or if he cared, or if he was biased. He helped himself to his own portion to stop the fighting, and it worked before Kaz reached to stab someone with a fork.
Guilt crept over Jesper and Kaz when Inej wandered through the front door. But it didn’t last long because Matthias was close behind with more food. Something about fruits being in season and so he brought home containers of watermelon, grapes, pineapple and mango.
Wylan took note of Inej’s wistfulness when she talked about the stuffed animal she left back at home, because she’d wanted to comfort her brother but ended up missing her plushie more than she wanted to admit. He’d try to give everyone their own little fuzzy friend to share their life with, if they’d let him.
Kaz was not letting him, but Wylan was trying. For now Wylan was just studying, matching animals to friends with acute precision. Jesper’s hand touched the back of his neck and he snapped out of a particularly complex thought process of deciding if Matthias got a classic animal or a funny vegetable plushie.
“Nej just asked where our babies were.” Jesper repeated, same shy, nervous smile on his face as earlier. Wylan wished he didn’t turn bright red, but he did, and uselessly fluffed curls into his face to hide a little.
“I would like to see the babies.” Inej put both hands out, preparing to receive them, and Matthias joined her.
“Me too, I heard they had a bath.” Matthias clearly had been filled in by Nina sometime between them coming home and Wylan asking for the hair dryer.
“I posted about it, sorry, I’m just a girl.” Nina admitted, all her followers knew about plushie wash day, and all of them would be anticipating it to happen again.
“They look the same, just clean.” Kaz said under his breath, he’d taken the last bite of cake when nobody was looking.
“But they smell nice, and are softer.” Jesper would offer Kaz a feel of their plushies and he’d decline every time, but his fingers would twitch. If Jesper wasn’t worried Snuggles would be thrown across the room, he might slip him into Kaz’s hands to test the waters.
“I need to see the babies.” Inej rephrased, pushing her chair back and going to wash mango off of her hands.
“Good idea,” Matthias waited his turn, and then got rid of all the pineapple juice sticking to his fingers. Wylan sighed loudly, he was overwhelmed in a new sort of way. His friends loved him and they loved his stuffed animal. They loved his stuffed animal like he was a baby, a child that he and Jesper had brought into the world.
“I love you guys.” Wylan decided to say, standing up and leading the eager line of his friends down to the hallway to his room. He thought about leading them to a nursery, and his stomach hurt just as badly as Jesper told him his did earlier.
He tried and failed to not think about Inej’s happy coos directed at Maple being to his imaginary baby. And it didn’t help when Matthias put Snuggles on his shoulders like he was a toddler. Jesper came up behind Wylan, wrapping his arms around his waist.
“My stomach fucking hurts.” Jesper mumbled again, pressing a kiss to Wylan’s head. Whatever was happening, whenever it was happening, Wylan was glad Jesper was there and feeling the same thing.
“Tell me about it.” Wylan whispered out, leaning his weight against Jesper and shutting his eyes when he stayed firm behind him.
Jesper would support him through anything, including but not limited to handwashing their stuffed animals and apparently daydreaming about having babies together. Wylan was dizzy, but it was pretty much guaranteed Jesper was dizzier.
Everything was too sweet, the dream of their future, their friends playing with their stuffed animals, and that damn lemon bundt cake.