Work Text:
The clock ticking in the shop rang in Lu Guang’s ears like nails on a chalkboard. Every tick was an aggressive reminder that he was running out of time. That Cheng Xiaoshi was running out of time.
The clock looked like a gravestone, a constant reminder of impending death. A reminder of Cheng Xiaoshi’s impending death, to be precise. It was just a clock, but to Lu Guang the clock was almost always present in his mind.
The ticking clock felt like a constant tap on his shoulder. Lu Guang had an interesting relationship with time. He felt restrained by it, as though he was stuck in an hourglass as the sand continued to pile up around him. No matter what he did, time continued to pass, sand continued to fall around him. He was trapped. He had no way out, he just had to struggle against it.
Who decided to place numbers on existence anyway?
Lu Guang knew he didn’t have many photos left. He knew that and it weighed on him every single day. He’d gone back a multitude of times in hopes of saving Cheng Xiaoshi, but every time his friend ended up dying. Over and over Lu Guang couldn’t do anything- couldn’t change anything besides the time of death and how it happened. No matter how, no matter when, it always happened, an inescapable nightmare he found himself locked into.
Would there ever be a day where he didn’t have to worry? Is there a possibility for them to have a good ending? Lu Guang wasn’t sure, but he was willing to continue on and keep trying for that slim chance.
“Lu Guang!” Cheng Xiaoshi smiled at him like the sun. Maybe that’s why Lu Guang was willing to go against all of his own rules. A world without Cheng Xiaoshi was like a world without sunlight. “Look at this article I found!”
“Looks interesting,” Lu Guang responded idly as he looked over Cheng Xiaoshi’s shoulder. His eyes were on the article but his mind was somewhere else completely.
“Yeah, it’s about this cat cafe a few towns over,” Cheng Xiaoshi explained. “I was thinking maybe we could go together?”
“Sure,” Lu Guang replied, looking back at the photographs they’d accumulated over the years. He couldn’t help but stop at the photo of Yu Xia and Lin Zhen standing in front of their noodle shop.
Cheng Xiaoshi peeked over Lu Guang’s shoulder at the photo. “Oh, we still have these photos?”
Lu Guang nodded, gesturing towards the box of photos he was going through. Lu Guang cherished every photo they’d dove into, since in some futures they didn’t even get past those dives.
Cheng Xiaoshi sighed, “I wish I could taste those noodles again-“
“Your noodles are tasty as well,” Lu Guang mumbled, putting the photo back into the box and turning around, causing Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi’s faces to be mere inches apart.
“Lu Guang-“ Cheng Xiaoshi’s face started turning red. “You’re very close-“
“Does that bother you?” Lu Guang asked quietly. Their eyes met for a moment, before Cheng Xiaoshi looked down avoiding eye contact. Lu Guang didn’t exactly understand the situation he found himself in. In one future he and Cheng Xiaoshi were together romantically; they held hands, cuddled, and did all types of things Lu Guang felt completely embarrassed thinking about. With Cheng Xiaoshi it was easy. It was as easy as breathing. They fell into a comfortable rhythm easily.
Before Cheng Xiaoshi could answer, Qiao Ling walked through the door with a huff, complaining about how impolite the barista at the coffee shop was as she typed something on her phone. Cheng Xiaoshi jumped, moving as far away from Lu Guang as physically possible. It was odd, seeing as Cheng Xiaoshi was normally very touchy.
Qiao Ling noticed the awkwardness in the room the second she looked up, “Did I interrupt something?”
Lu Guang stayed quiet, curious how Cheng Xiaoshi would respond.
“What are you talking about?” Cheng Xiaoshi replied, almost stuttering. The reaction made Lu Guang smile subconsciously. Cheng Xiaoshi was so different than him and even after all this time, he sometimes couldn’t predict how Cheng Xiaoshi would act. That was both amusing and annoying, depending on the circumstances.
Qiao Ling seemed to notice the look on Lu Guang’s face, squinting a bit as though trying to decipher something in the expression… Lu Guang would deal with that later.
Cheng Xiaoshi scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he continued, “I’m going to go make some noodles!”
The excuse almost made Lu Guang laugh. Almost .
Qiao Ling followed Cheng Xiaoshi, whispering something to him as they left. Lu Guang enjoyed the life he had now. He loved seeing Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling argue over trivial matters and watching Elizabeth jump around the studio.
Would it all go away? He’d done this so many times; he tried changing so many things… All he wanted was this comfortable life he’d made with Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling.
The clock on the wall felt like a stone slab Lu Guang was forced to carry on his back. He knew better than anyone how little time people have. He knew every click of the clock drew closer to Cheng Xiaoshi’s death.
He knew this as Cheng Xiaoshi ran back into the room, being chased by Qiao Ling for some odd reason.
He knew this when he ate Cheng Xiaoshi’s ‘ Bowl of the Male Dormitory’.
He knew this when Cheng Xiaoshi asked him later that night, “Do you believe in fate?”
“Fate?” Lu Guang asked. If fate was real…
“Fate,” Cheng Xiaoshi confirmed, “Like a predestined track your life goes on.”
“I don’t believe it,” Lu Guang told him. Cheng Xiaoshi seemed a bit discouraged. “I believe we can change our ‘fates’ .”
Did he actually believe that?… or was it just that he hoped that was the case?
“But you always say not to change the past-“ Cheng Xiaoshi responded as though he had read between the lines of Lu Guang’s words effortlessly.
“Changing your fate doesn’t mean changing the past,” Lu Guang responded. The whole reason Lu Guang didn’t believe in fate was that people being fated would mean Cheng Xiaoshi might just be fated to die.
Cheng Xiaoshi was silent for a moment, before he asked, “Do you think we were fated to be partners?”
Was that what he meant? Was this whole thing set up to ask that? Lu Guang responded, “I chose to be your partner because I like being with you. It’s not fate.”
Cheng Xiaoshi gave an unsatisfied hmph.
“Don’t you think it’s better that way? Rather than the universe forcing us together, we chose to be partners.” Lu Guang didn’t like to speak so openly. The only person who got to hear such unfiltered thoughts was Cheng Xiaoshi.
“You’re right,” Cheng Xiaoshi replied with an almost fond sigh. “That means you chose me-“
Lu Guang’s eyes narrowed, knowing Cheng Xiaoshi would not let him live that down.
“Either way,” Cheng Xiaoshi changed topics like a frieght train running off the track, “I’m glad we’re partners.”
“I am as well.”