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Bertie sighed gruelingly in his armchair, causing Jeeves to raise an eyebrow a hair.
“Might I inquire what is on your mind, sir?” He asked as he poured a b. and s. for his y.m.
Wooster glanced up. “Hm? Oh, it’s nothing in particular, old chap. It’s just— well, it’s all so exhausting, isn’t it? Every other week somebody has me galavanting about doing their dirty work— now maybe I wouldn’t mind if it were smaller jobs here and there, or even if it was less at my expense, but the real soup as it were are all the women I must avoid!” And he added a “Thank you,” as Jeeves handed him his beverage. “I just wish there was some way for me to avoid the affections of women altogether!”
He took a sip. “Perhaps if I intentionally made an utter arse of myself, people would leave me alone, and no woman would dare approach me!”
Jeeves looked skeptical, and Wooster glowered at his drink. “No, you’re right, I don’t want to go losing friends and ruining my reputation too badly, now.”
Jeeves coughed intentionally, which perked Wooster’s interest.
“Oh? Do you have something, Jeeves?”
“The thought occurs, there is such a thing as a confirmed bachelor, sir. If you could convince the right people that you are of this status, word would get around and you would be free of troubles with the ladies, at least.” As he said this, he looked decidedly not at Wooster, clearly resigned to stay properly aloof despite what he was suggesting.
Bertie choked on his drink. “Confirmed bachelor? But I’m not— I’ve never been interested in men—“
Jeeves gave the facial expression equivalent of a shrug and said “Well sir, in a sense, is the status of the title not something you desire?”
Wooster’s eyebrows were fully raised at this point. “N-no! Talk about a stain on my reputation! Heavens to Betsy. No, I will not tolerate this suggestion.”
Jeeves lowered his gaze. “Very good sir.” He held out the tray for Wooster’s empty glass. “Will that be all, sir?”
Wooster nodded, but as his Valet retreated, he couldn’t help but feel he hurt his feelings somehow.
*******
They had just gotten back from a long week of running around solving other people’s problems and narrowly avoiding, this time, a record of four unwanted engagements— just counting those involving Bertie alone!
By the time they returned home, it was well past midnight, and the y.m. was positively at death’s door.
Jeeves helped him disrobe with somehow greater care than normal, something Bertie hadn’t thought possible. He seemed almost motherly.
As Bertie slumped into bed finally, all he could manage was “Maybe ‘Confirmed Bachelor’ doesn’t sound so bad after all,” before he was out like a light.
Jeeves carefully placed the covers over Bertie and tidied the room before taking his exit.
*****
A few mornings later, as the young master was having his cup of tea, he leapt to his feet excitedly. “I’ve got it!”
“Sir?”
Bertie began pacing. “I think you’re right, that the only way to put off women as it were is for them to think I’m confirmed bachelor. Well, and how does one go about doing that? I mean, I’d really have to convince them!” He turned to Jeeves, grinning, and continued, “Well, wouldn’t it be oh so unfortunate for someone to catch me kissing a man?”
Jeeves’ eyes widened slightly, barely anything to a passerby, but on Jeeves it portrayed utter shock. “Is that not risky, sir?”
Wooster deflated slightly. “Well yes. I’m willing to do it because it’s better than unwantingly getting hitched, as it were. But the real trouble is finding a man who is willing to help me!” He slumped in his chair. “I could possibly find someone at the Drones Club, but I don’t know. Even if I found someone willing to risk his rep. for me, I’m not sure who I could trust with a scheme like this. If it got out I would never hear the e. of it.”
There was silence as they both considered this information.
“Of course, perhaps I could find a real confirmed bachelor, now that would provide some, uh- whatchamacallit to the rumor.” He looked rather pleased with himself at all that.
Jeeves seemed to consider this, something slightly sour creeping into his expression.
Bertie caught wind of this immediately. “Oh, what is it now?”
“Well, sir, where would you find one? And where would you find one willing? And then the question, were you to find one willing, would you be willing to have strings attached to that community? Sir.”
Wooster blinked at him a couple of times, then looked back at his tea in concentration. “Well, those would be the questions, eh Jeeves?”
They both pondered the situation.
“You wouldn’t happen to know any of them, would you, Jeeves?”
“..No sir.”
“Hm.”
Jeeves gave a silent sigh of relief. It appeared his y.m. was too lost in thought to notice his millisecond of hesitation.
After a stretch of silence, Wooster pipped right up and said, “Alright, I must get on to the Drones. Perhaps I might suss out someone there to help my predicament.”
Jeeves helped him change as usual, and the young master was off.
*******
Several hours later, Bertie returned, mood low.
“Good evening, sir. Shall I run your bath?”
“Yes, thank you Jeeves.”
As the Valet went about his duties, Wooster rambled about his bad luck.
“Well, half the men I engaged were fully lovestruck with new birds. I could hardly get them to talk about anything else. And the other half, well, to put it short, weren’t men for the job!”
“Sorry to hear that, sir.”
“So that leaves no one else!”
“No one, sir?”
Wooster looked startled at Jeeves, almost as if he just remembered he was there. “Well, I couldn’t very well ask you to do it. It’s not in your job description, what?”
“Indeed, sir.” The way he said it indicated that he full heartedly agreed.
******
A few months had passed with usual shenanigans, and they were in the soup again. They were strolling in a familiar hedge maze at night, Jeeves and Wooster, that is, trying to escape the grip of friends, family, and prospects.
The young master was positively agitated.
“Oh, dash it all!”
“Indeed, sir.”
Bertie gave Jeeves a second take, then started laughing. It seemed Jeeves couldn’t help a twitch of his lips.
“I mean, Jeeves, my fate is one thing. But I hadn’t realized that you also so avoided the affections of women.”
“It has been largely easier for me, sir.”
Wooster hummed. “Not sure why. Anyone— any woman, that is— who interacts with you should by rights be swooning immediately.”
“Indeed sir?” Genuine surprise.
“Well, yes! Your intention and intelligence are quite clear from the get-go, and of course it helps to be easy on the eyes.”
Jeeves glanced away for a moment, seeming unsure about something. “Thank you for saying so, sir.”
Wooster took a pause to puff on a cigarette.
“You know,” he said, taking another puff, “perhaps tonight would be the night to pull off that scheme. Perhaps we could simply start a rumor about my status, as it were. Of course it would be easier if I were caught in the act, but say we—“
“Oh Bertie!”
The not-so-distant call rooted the men to the spot, color practically draining out of Wooster’s face.
“Reggie!”
It was Jeeves’ turn to pale.
“Sir, perhaps now would be the time to—“
“Agreed.”
It is time to interlude and say, that they were decidedly not on the same page. What Wooster thought was, “It’s time to make our escape.” What Jeeves thought was, “It’s time to pull off a scheme.”
So before Wooster could much react, Jeeves had pulled him in and mashed their faces together, somewhat unpleasantly at that. Bertie froze in confusion for a moment, but after Jeeves still held position, he finally caught on.
Wooster couldn’t help but smile to himself, despite the circumstances. With how delicate and intentional Jeeves was with everything else, one would think he would approach kissing the same way. But he merely stood there, not seeming to know what to do.
Wooster backed enough to say “Follow my lead,” before clutching Jeeves’ face and beginning to move his lips in a more pleasant way. Jeeves copied, hesitantly.
Not good enough.
Bertie manipulated his partner’s hands to be clutching at his back and waist, which inadvertently brought them closer together, and this made Bertie have to tilt his head up slightly more for better access. The position was surprisingly not an unpleasant one, and Wooster actually began to enjoy himself a little as he registered the warmth and strength that radiated from the other body. He began to elevate the kiss a little, for show and all that, by running his hands all over Jeeves’ hair, neck, and shoulders, and opening his mouth a little more.
Because if a Wooster did anything properly, it was committing to the bit. And by Jove, was he committed. Definitely no turning back now.
Jeeves seemed to pick up on the technique a little by now, enough to sweep his tongue along Bertie’s. Now that was unexpected, and the y.m. gasped at the action (or as much as one could gasp while kissing his gentleman’s gentleman). Something at that switched off his brain, and from there he acted on pure instinct.
The kiss became more heated, Bertie pressing and Reggie pressing back, the noise of adrenaline rushing through Wooster’s head, and it was jarring when Jeeves abruptly pulled back and stepped away.
Wooster was left dazed. His first feeling was loss, then utter terror as he heard, “Bertie?”
It was a feminine voice, rather down the path.
Bertie turned and sputtered, genuinely. “It— it’s not what it looks like—“ He found he was really trying to defend himself, forgetting the scheme altogether.
He realized there were actually two women down the path, doubtless their respective suitors. They both ran off, yelling invigorated exclamations. At this point, Wooster couldn’t tell if it was from excitement or horror. Perhaps a mix of both.
“Well, that was—“ he turned to look at Jeeves, and for one of the rare instances in his life became at a loss for words. The man was flush, hair ruffled, lips puffy from being kissed— just the complete antithesis of his normal groomed self. Wooster couldn’t help but drink in the sight. “Unexpected,” he finished the sentence.
Jeeves’ attention snapped to Wooster’s face. “Sir?”
Wooster coughed, not really knowing what to say. “Well, um. Well, well. Rather, well. I thought you meant we should run when you said—“
Jeeves all but gasped as he said “Sir!” He began to pale. He stepped back, giving Wooster as much space as possible.
“What? Oh Jeeves my man, put that out of your head. I merely meant that I never could have asked that of you. I didn’t mean to pressure you into it!” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “No, it’s quite alright. With luck, this will play out how we always wanted, what?” He noticed his cigarette on the ground, so he stamped it out.
Jeeves slowly relaxed, nodded. “Yes, sir.” It seemed all he could say at the moment, even if it was his normal response. He looked rather lost, and Bertie couldn’t help but be fond of him.
“First kiss, was it Jeeves?”
Jeeves lifted an eyebrow and said sheepishly, “Yes, sir.”
“Oh bugger, and I’ve stolen it from you! I’m so sorry, Jeeves.”
“No need, sir.”
“No— no need?” Wooster did a double take. “Of course there’s a need! Your first kiss was with a man!” His voice went up at that last word.
Jeeves seemed to consider something before saying, “If you don’t mind my saying so sir, the quality was… what counts. Overall a pleasant experience… on my end. Despite the circumstances. —Sir.”
Wooster was quite taken aback. “Oh. Oh! Well, thank you for saying so!” He was practically beaming now. “If I’m being honest, much the same on my end as— as well.”
He again took in Jeeves’ disheveled look, and again was struck with an inexplicable fondness.
“Here, you’re all… whatsit,” he said, smoothing down Jeeves’ hair and straightening his suit. The Valet seemed entranced by these actions.
“As are you, sir,” he said after a moment, mirroring Wooster’s actions.
Once they were satisfied with each others’ appearances— plausible deniability and all that— they nodded at each other and turned to face the hell that awaited them.
“Right-oh!” Said Wooster, probably with more confidence than he felt.
“Very good, sir,” Jeeves echoed.
And they began the dreaded walk.
*****
The next morning, all Bertie knew was that his head was splitting like a log and that it was too bright. The next thing he knew was that he was in his own bed, by some miracle.
Jeeves must have heard some stirring, as he materialized with a tray.
He poured a glass of water and handed it to the young master. “Good morning, sir.”
Wooster could only mumble a response, barely managing to take the glass without spilling it. He held it up to his chest, eyes falling closed again.
“Quite a night, sir.”
Another mumble. There was more clattering and pouring and rustling, then something cold and wet was pressed to Wooster’s forehead. He gave a start, which spilled some of the water in his hands.
Jeeves backed off slightly, and Bertie saw a damp cloth in his hand. “Oh. Carry on.”
Jeeves returned to his business. “Best drink some of that water, sir, before it spills again,” he said almost kindly.
Wooster gave a “hmrph” in response and sat up slightly to do so. He now realized how much his whole body ached.
After downing the glass in one gulp, cringing, and laying back down, he said, “Jeeves, remind me of what happened last night?”
“Well, sir, we preceded with the bachelor scheme and were caught by the two young ladies. When we returned to the group, Lady Agatha was enraged, and the two of you argued for quite some time. I believe the key points were when she threatened to cut you out of the family if you did not find a wife, and you exclaimed that you would rather have” he coughed “me than any woman, at which point young Gertrude Rodrickson burst into tears, and your cousin launched an attack on you.”
“Oh,” said Wooster sourly as memories came flooding back.
“Yes, sir. I regret to say that the result of the tussle was a passed out young master, but—“ he cut short, seeming to lose the words.
Bertie looked up in concern. “But? But what Jeeves, what happened next?”
Claude kept kicking Bertie, even as he was down. The young master was passed out, unable to respond, body rippling with each attack.
Jeeves pried the man off, nearly throwing him with the force. “Contain yourself, sir,” he said sternly. It took all his willpower to only do that much.
He bent down and examined the damage. Bertie was knocked out solid, with a little blood trickling where he had hit his forehead, and a black eye. But it didn’t seem anything too serious. His pulse and breathing were stable. Jeeves felt a mix of relief and worry.
He stood to address the room. All eyes were on him.
“Mr. Jeeves, what is the meaning of all this?” Aunt Agatha snarled.
“I believed it to be evident that Mr. Wooster does not desire to be married, my lady.”
Her eyes bulged in shock. “This is crossing the line even for Bertie,” she said, “but you, Jeeves? What do you have to say for yourself?”
“Only that his interests align with mine. It is a dreary time for a gentleman’s personal gentleman when he is replaced by a wife, after having found a compatible master.”
Lady Agatha had been approaching during his response. Now, she slapped him. “Selfish!” She spat in his face. “Disgraceful!” She raised her cane to strike, which Jeeves caught on the downswing.
“I will not tolerate abuse, my lady,” he said coldly. He released her cane, and she backed up, eyes still wide.
Jeeves had to think quick on his feet.
“My lady, Mr. Wooster has always done his best to be a good nephew.” He turned to the cousins. “And a good friend.” He turned to the women. “And a good man. His loyalties are so toward all of you. He can not turn down a loved one who needs his help, much to his detriment. But the thought of marriage for himself distresses him. You could, my lady, very well one day impose the thing upon him, in which he would be miserable for the rest of his days. Misery builds resentment, and these are not suitable in a husband, or nephew, or friend. His current living situation is his prime, and so perhaps it would be best for said situation to remain as it is, and he would be ever so glad to continue his loyalties to you all.”
Claude again was angry. “That is a bold ask from an impudent valet who was embracing my cousin!”
Jeeves tried to recover the situation. “I regret to say that this is the proof of the pudding, forgive the phrase. We arranged to be caught in this compromising position so as to dissuade the ladies from him, sir.”
Claude sat down in shock. “My God.”
Lady Agatha was staring knives at him. “I think you’d better leave while you still have a head on your shoulders.”
Jeeves nodded. “Thank you, my lady.”
Presently, Jeeves continued with a pained expression on his face. “I had to pry them off you, sir, even when you were already down. I was able to talk around the situation enough for us to make our escape, but I doubt we would have been safe should we have lingered.”
Bertie’s face fell. “Oh.”
Jeeves continued tending to his head, and after a few moments of sitting with the information, Bertie’s eyes began to sparkle with tears.
“Sir,” Jeeves breathed, placing his hand on the y.m.’s forearm.
Bertie didn’t even try to stop the tears as they fell. “I say! One would hope for one’s family to be a little more caring, don’t you know?” He tried to put on a smile, but with a red, wet face, the image was heartbreaking.
Jeeves carefully brushed away the tears with the cloth. “There are some things which certain parts of society just cannot seem to accept, sir,” he offered sadly.
They locked eyes.
“Oh Jeeves!” Bertie lurched forward and collapsed in his man’s arms. “What are we going to do? I’m sure to be cut out, and I should think your club would throw you out for aiding me in this.”
Jeeves stiffened at this. “..Those were always possibilities, sir.”
Bertie backed off slightly to look at his valet in confusion. “Not for you! I never meant to drag you into it!”
Jeeves looked resolved. “What’s done is done, sir. If you recall, sir, I was the one who.. *ahem* initiated the scheme. You are not at fault.”
Bertie did not seem comforted by this information. “Well, however it happened, we are quite possibly further in the soup than we can manage, this time.” He slumped back into his pillows with an air of finality.
Jeeves stood and gathered his things onto the tray. “Tea, sir?”
“Please.”
When Jeeves returned and handed him his tea, Bertie’s eyes began to water again.
“I really don’t know what I would do without you, Jeeves. Perhaps we could go off somewhere. We could move to America. I hear they have some more accepting circles if you know where to look.”
Jeeves took pause at this, lifting an eyebrow. “More accepting, sir?”
Bertie looked up from his tea. “You know. Confirmed bachelors, Jeeves. The whole reason we’re in this mess.”
“It is my impression that the people of America would not know of our situation, sir.”
Bertie looked back at his tea. He seemed suddenly nervous. “Ah. Yes, well, that would be ideal, wouldn’t it?” His eyes flicked to Jeeves’ face before returning to the tea.
He really was an open book. There was clearly something more bothering him.
After a moment, Jeeves took a risk. “Unless you mean, of course, that that would be our status, sir?”
Bertie seemed to shrink into himself. “Possib— did you say our status?” He looked up again, this time out of a sudden need to understand rather than a fear of being understood.
“That is to say, sir, continuing with our scheme in America to dissuade the ladies as we had planned.” Jeeves said smoothly.
“Bollocks.”
“Sir?”
“Malarkey. Balderdash! I know that look on you, Jeeves, and that’s the look you get when you’re talking effortlessly around a sticky situation. You did mean our status!”
Jeeves was taken aback, blinking in surprise. “Sir—“ But he was cut off, for which he was grateful, for he did not seem to know how he would finish that thought.
“Jeeves, I feel it is time we must be straight with each other. I mean abso-lutely solid. This situation is all or nothing, I believe, so it must all be laid out plainly.”
Jeeves looked a little shaken. “As you wish, sir—“
“So Jeeves, there’s something that I must tell you.”
Jeeves wasn’t quite expecting that. “Sir?”
Bertie seemed determined this time. He had set his teeth into the thing and he would not let go. A Wooster through and through.
He set his tea on the side table.
“I think I really must be an invert. With how uncomfortable I am with the thought of marriage, and all that. And—“ here he faltered a little. It seemed like he almost wouldn’t continue the thought, but he pushed through, as he had promised. “And I think I must love you. More than a good employee. More than a friend. And if I’m being entirely honest, the kiss we shared… left me wanting more.”
The more he got through the confession, the more he seemed to putter out, until he was shaking by the end. Jeeves’ heart melted.
“Sir—“ he placed a hopefully comforting hand on his shoulder. “Bertie.” Their eyes met once more, and this time Bertie saw the shining tears in Jeeves’ eyes. It was Bertie’s turn to clutch onto Jeeves’ forearms.
“I must confess the same sin, si—Bertie. I also find myself desiring your embrace.”
Bertie smiled finally, eyes shining. “Oh—“ he could hardly finish the thought, as they rushed forward together into a passionate kiss.
This time, Jeeves’ hand found its way to the nape of Bertie’s neck, tickling his hair there. Bertie’s arms were wrapped around Jeeves’ shoulder and side, and Jeeves’ other hand was on Bertie’s thigh. Jeeves repeated last kiss by sweeping his tongue inside Bertie’s mouth, and Bertie did not hold back a moan. This encouraged Jeeves forward, and pretty soon we was quite on top of Bertie, something neither of them seemed averse to.
Eventually, they had to break for air.
“How—“ Bertie panted— “how did you— get so good— at kissing— between last night— and this morning?”
Jeeves, too, was panting. As before, his face was flushed, his hair tousled, and his lips puffy. “I couldn’t say— darling.” He pecked Bertie on his plush lips.
Bertie’s pupils dilated at that, and he gently manhandled Jeeves until their positions were flipped. “Say that again.”
Jeeves smirked, though in his state, it didn’t look quite as smug as it could have. “Darling?”
Bertie plunged into another kiss. This time he took charge, and now Jeeves was the one holding back moans. Apparently he liked being manhandled. And apparently Bertie was a romantic after all.
Bertie now broke off to pepper his face with little kisses. Jeeves sighed contentedly.
They continued this for quite some minutes, tea forgotten, until they had calmed down and now lay side by side, staring into each other’s’ eyes.
“Maybe we really should move to America,” Bertie said eventually.
Jeeves hummed in thought. “The last time we were there, I actually did manage to find those more accepting circles you mentioned, sir— er, dear.”
Bertie looked surprised. “Really! When was that?”
“Yes, dear, I did have quite some liberties when I was gathering notes for your friend’s aunt, if you remember.”
“Oh yes, I see. So you were um.. active at these circles, were you, Jeeves?”
“Enough to establish myself, sir.”
“Well! That’s some good luck.”
“Yes, dear.”
There were some beats of silence.
“Jeeves?”
“Yes?”
“Perhaps we ought to leave as soon as possible.”
Jeeves frowned, but nodded. “I think you’re right.” He gave Bertie a peck on the lips before sitting up and leaving to get a suitcase. Bertie also sat up, thought about finishing his tea, found it cold, and set it aside again.
“When is the soonest available ship to America, Jeeves?”
“I believe in two days, dear, though I could be mistaken. Perhaps one of us could pack while the other secures the tickets.”
Bertie nodded. “Right-oh. Why don’t you go ahead and pack, and I’ll do the other thing. Ah but I’ll need to get breakfast and then dressed, of course.”
They went about their usual morning routine, with Jeeves preparing breakfast and Bertie reading the paper. Of course, Jeeves also prepared another tea, having noticed the cold one on the dresser. Bertie smiled at this.
This time, they ate breakfast at the table together. Not like they hadn’t before, but this time was different, of course.
They dressed Bertie in full glory, and then the y.m. biffed off to run his errand.
********
“Bertie!”
Bertie froze. He really didn’t think he could handle being recognized in public at a time like this.
He turned, however, to find Bingo grinning back at him and waving. He tried to return a smile. “What-oh, Bingo! How are you, old chap?”
Bingo joined him in line. “Oh, you know! The wife and I are expecting! We’ll have a son or daughter— oh it’ll be marvelous, Bertie!” He slung an arm over Bertie’s shoulder warmly.
Bertie couldn’t help but be happy for him. “Oh, that’s wonderful! You’ll make an excellent father.” The smile now reached his eyes.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were meant to be visiting your old Aunt Agatha until next week?”
A pit formed in Bertie’s stomach. There it was. “Ah. Yes, well. Rather. We had to leave. And now we’re, well, leaving.”
Bingo frowned in confusion. “Oh? And where are you off to then? Got called away somewhere?”
Bertie began to fiddle with his sleeves. He didn’t want to give away anything, but he didn’t want to lie to one of his best friends since school. “Well…”
Bingo looked at him with wide, innocent eyes. Well, perhaps he could speak his language.
“Oh, alright. It’s like this, but don’t ask too many details, what? We’re running away for love, and rather that’s why we had to leave early. Right away, in fact. I’d rather not like to have anyone know where we’re going.”
Bingo’s eyes lit up, as Bertie suspected they would. “Oh, Bertie! In love at last!” He spun Bertie around. “She must be quite a woman! What’s she like?”
“Uh… well… Sh-she’s very… delicate, perhaps. But also strong. And she’s the most intelligent person I’ve ever met.”
Bingo looked surprised. “More intelligent than Jeeves? That is quite a feat!”
Bertie chuckled nervously. “Right, yes. Oh, Bingo! What brings you here?”
Bingo grinned. “Ah! Rosie and I are going to France for another honeymoon while it’s still just the two of us. The lights of Parí, the lovely pastries, and a kiss under the Eiffel Tower! It’s going to be marvelous, Bertie!”
Bertie smiled warmly. “I sure am going to miss you, Bingo.”
Bingo looked suddenly concerned, now. “Miss me? But Bertie, you aren’t going to just disappear off the face of the earth? Surely you’ll visit?”
Bertie’s smile turned sad.
“Oh, but Bertie! However mad they all are now, they’ve got to forgive you eventually.”
“Oh, no. Not this time, I’m afraid.”
“What is their reason for disapproval now, anyway?”
“I’d really rather not say.” He looked away, anywhere but Bingo’s face.
“But Bertie—“
“Bingo—“
“Bertie!” He grabbed onto his shoulders, and Bertie couldn’t help but look back at him. “If you’re going to disappear out of my life forever, I need a good reason or I simply will not accept it. Now whoever this girl is, I am sure there is nothing about her that will make me hate you. So what is going on?”
They had made it to the front of the line, now.
Bertie stepped away from his friend and turned to the window. “Two first-class tickets to America, please. Your soonest departing vessel.” He completed the transaction, and stepped away from the window.
Bingo was still staring at him. Bertie couldn’t take it.
“Fine, you’ve worn me down. Get your tickets, and I shall tell you in privacy.”
Bingo nodded, a confused yer determined expression still on his face, and completed his transaction.
Bertie grabbed solid hold of his arm and pulled him across the city. They walked all around and took several turns, until they found a quiet spot with no one around, and Bertie was fairly confident that no one had followed them.
Bingo now looked a little worried. “All right, Wooster, what is this all about? Is this woman charged with murder or something?” He said in a hushed voice.
Bertie’s heart took a hit at the use of his last name. But he did promise he’d tell. “Bingo, it’s not a woman.”
Bingo gasped. His expression was socked, of course, but it seemed with more emotions under the surface. “Bertie…”
Bertie could no longer look at him. “Well, now you understand. And you know where I’ll be, too. Even if you hate me now, if you ever cared about me, you’d better not share that information with anyone, alright?”
There was silence for a moment, as many things said and unsaid lingered in the air.
Finally, “Oh, Bertie.” And Bingo was hugging him. “I could never hate you.”
And Bertie’s next inhale was more of a shuttering gasp, and then they were both crying. He didn’t realize how much he needed to hear that, from anyone.
“Really?”
“Of course not! We’re friends. We’re brothers. We— we were in school together!”
Bertie laughed through his tears, and Bingo did the same.
They stood there for several minutes, just hugging, until their tears became stains and their breathing became calm.
“So, do I know this bloke?” Bingo said gently.
Bertie chuckled. “Yes, actually. It’s Jeeves.”
Bingo shifted so he was holding Bertie’s shoulders now and could therefore peer into his face. “No, really?” He was smiling. “It wasn’t Rosie’s writing having anything to do with it, what?”
Bertie giggled. “No, I should think not!”
Bingo grinned. “That’s good, Bertie. You two suit each other.”
Bertie smiled, eyes lighting up. “Do you really think so?”
“Oh, absolutely. I don’t think you could be happy with anyone else.”
They stood there a few more moments, smiling at each other.
“Well, I suppose we can accept one visitor. Or three, depending.”
Bingo grinned. “I would be delighted.”
*******
Two days later, and Jeeves and Wooster stepped onto the ship. Their things were already in their cabin waiting to be unloaded.
They stood at the railing, looking at the dock, the city, the country they would soon be departing. Who knew if they would ever come back? It was a sad thought.
In the crowd, Bingo waved, and Bertie raised a subtle hand in return. Bingo shared a nod with Jeeves.
They stood there until departure, watching people file on and go about their business, shouting and hugging goodbye and struggling with their luggage.
Finally, as the ship left the dock, Bertie said one last silent goodbye to England, and turned to face his new life with his love.