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"Eddie!"
Eyes blink open, hand reaching out, obviously trying to grasp something out of reach before falling as he realizes. His heart beats; loud and fast and hard, trying to keep up with the fear that's tapering off. His lungs struggle as well; short, loud breaths in and out to do the same thing.
All he can see is the back of him. Walking away. Leaving, abandoning him.
Just like everyone else.
Tears, unwanted, are wiped away by Buck's own hands. He's reminded of how alone he is in that moment, despite his roommates. The same ones that still act like they're in college, wasted and impulsive in a way Buck used to like. Used to be.
He turns, grabbing his phone off the charger, reading the notifications; comments, likes, texts. Freezing, he focuses on one from Eddie, a text about hanging out sometime today if he wants.
Buck sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Yeah, he thinks, attempting to shake off the nightmare, I'll go see him. Buck sends off a quick "Sure!" and tosses the phone onto the blankets, standing and gathering clean clothes to change into. A few minutes later and he's reading Eddie's response, a request of where to meet. Buck gives an affirmative and slides on his shoes, feeling like he's been attached to a car battery or something similar with how nervousness fills him.
Seeing Eddie's face only feels like relief, one that texting couldn't bring him. The tension in Buck's shoulders loosens as he approaches the park bench, but it seems his brain is still emotional because tears spring in his eyes once again.
"You good?"
Seems like Eddie's caught on before Buck can pull himself together. Buck, in response, wipes his tears with his palms. He only answers after sitting down.
"Sorry, just had a rough night."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
And fuck, with eyes like his and a face like that, how could Buck deny him anything? Besides, it's not like Buck's admitting to a crime, even if he feels like letting it out would make it happen. That saying it would make it true.
"Uh, it was nothing. Just a nightmare. It doesn't matter," Buck finds himself replying nervously.
Eddie stares at him for a long moment, looking contemplative. "If it bothers you I think it does matter."
Buck looks out, gaze roaming over the playground where kids were playing. That reminds Buck of someone. "Where's your kid, Christopher?"
Buck can feel Eddie's eyes on him still as he answers. "He's with my Abuela, but I think you're trying to avoid the question."
Buck doesn't want to tell him, but that itch still seems to be there; Eddie only stays because he has to, and he'll leave when he gets what he wants. With that thought, Buck is blurting out, "Are we only friends because you want something from me?"
Finally looking back at the other man, Buck finds him wide-eyed before his expression softens. "I don't think so. Do you?"
Buck lets out a small groan, putting his head in his hands. "It's just- Stress. It's just stress, okay?"
"Buck."
Buck refuses to look at him.
"Buck, please."
A deep breath, in... and out...
Buck looks at him.
"I'm not going anywhere," Eddie says earnestly, moving a hand to rest on Buck's shoulder.
Buck hates how those words bring more tears, but the relief, at least, is immense. They'll be okay. He'll be okay. For now, at least.
Hopefully.