Chapter Text
Cas saw the trucks arrive by the house on the other side of the street. He did not approve. He had liked Mrs Tran and she had cookies in a cabinet that she always gave him. He wanted her to live there and give him cookies when he was mad at his parents, but she hadn't been there for weeks. His parents had told him that Kevin had put her in a home, that she was too old to live by herself and shouldn't have to be all on her own. Cas didn't understand why Kevin couldn't go live with her, or why he didn't count as company. Mrs Tran wasn't on her own, he went over there several times a week and if he had to he would gladly go every day. His parents had laughed and patted him on the head. He hated when they did that, when they acted like he was a little baby and didn't understand anything.
And now the new family was moving in. He had watched them unload boxes from the trucks all day. He had asked his parents why they were so many and why they were all men, and they had told him that that wasn't the family but guys the family had hired to move their stuff there. That only made him hate this new family even more. Why couldn't they move their own stuff? Why did all those poor men have to do it for them?
But he still wanted to see the new family. Because there were so many boxes that they must have loads of stuff, and maybe there was some fun stuff. Maybe he could go over and look at the stuff and reconsider not liking them. So he waited, until a black car finally parked on the front yard. He wrinkled his nose. His dad had said that you weren't supposed to park on grass all the times he had suggested it, so he knew it was bad and he hated the family even more.
A dark-haired man and blonde woman got out on opposite sides of the front seats. A mom and a dad. He was tall and scary and she was really fat. She looked and pointed at the house and he opened the door to the backseat and a little boy got out. Even from the opposite side of the street Castiel could see that he was his age and that he was blond like his mother.
Suddenly Cas thought that he might not need to hate this new family after all. Maybe that boy was really fun, maybe he could be his friend. His parents had often told him that he should have friends, but he had said that Mrs Tran was friends enough. He didn't get why he needed more, but they said he needed some closer to his age. But Cas didn't like the kids his age. They weren't fun like Mrs Tran, they were always boring. So his hopes weren't high when he – after looking twice – crossed the road and walked up to the other boy.
”Hi”, he said.
The boy was stood by the car while his parents were talking and laughing at the front door of the house. He looked angry and Cas almost changed his mind, but then he looked up at him. He had green eyes and freckles and he looked a little like a fairytale prince.
”My name is Castiel”, he said then.
The other boy looked at him for a second.
”I'm Dean”, he said eventually.
”I'm four”, Cas said and held up four fingers to clarify.
”Me too”, said Dean, and now he smiled a little.
”Why is your mom so fat?” Cas said and tilted his head.
”There's a baby in her belly”, Dean replied. ”It's my little brother.”
Cas wrinkled his nose and questioned once again what he felt about this family.
”What's he doing in there?” he asked.
”He's growing”, Dean said, like he knew all about it. ”And then when he's big enough he'll come out and I can play with him.”
Cas nodded. It made a little sense, but he would have to ask his parents about it when he got home.
”I live in that house”, he said and pointed at his green house with the porch and the grass that dad always said he should cut.
”I live in Lawrence”, Dean said. ”It's in Kansas.”
”But you're gonna live in this house”, Cas said.
”Yeah”, Dean replied and sighed. ”But I don't know if I want to.”
Cas hummed a little. He liked Dean. He could probably be funny. He could probably be his friend. Not because he wanted one, but because his parents wanted him to have one. He would rather have Dean than someone else.
”Could we be friends?” he asked.
”Sure”, Dean said.
He didn't look as angry anymore, Cas realized.
”Do you have any toys?” he asked.
”They're in the boxes”, Dean said.
”I have Lego in my room”, Cas said. ”Do you want to come and play?”
Dean wanted to be angry a little while longer, so his parents noticed it and maybe changed their minds. But his toys were all packed up and he was getting a bit bored, so he nodded.
***
Cas and Dean became friends very quickly, as often is the case with small children without any inhibitions. In fact, they became close to inseparable. Cas had never had it easy making friends, he had never seen the point in it and he had never liked other children enough to give it a go. Whenever he did he never knew what to do or how to do it. In kindergarten he stayed with the teachers and they read him books and it was all good, but at home he was always alone and bored. Especially since after Mrs Tran had left. He sat in his room and played with his toys and when they had time his parents joined him, but they both worked and when they didn't do that they had to take care of the house. Clean, wash clothes, do the dishes, cook the food, cut the grass. Cas was left on his own.
Dean had never had that problem. He could talk to anyone about anything forever, go on and on about everything and nothing and not hesitate once. He was great at playing with other kids and he always made friends wherever he went. But when they moved all his friends were left behind. Mary didn't work because she was pregnant, so there was no need for him to go to kindergarten. She liked being home with him, but he was not pleased with being alone with her. He wanted friends and she was his mom, she wasn't fun at all, especially not with that big stomach. His only option for a friend besides her was really Castiel, the odd kid that lived in the house just across the road.
Cas didn't play like other children and he was difficult to talk to, sometimes he forgot to answer and sometimes he forgot to listen. He always wanted things his own way too, but he was never good at saying what that way was. He just got angry and pouted in a corner. But Dean liked him. He could be fun and he could use words he had never heard and didn't understand.
When Sam was born, Dean had to stay at Castiel's house. They were up all night, giggling and talking about how much fun they would have all together. Sam would be just as much fun as them, they both agreed.
”We can call him Sammy”, Cas suggested, because Dean called him Cas even though his name was Castiel.
His brother's name would really be Samuel, but everyone else would call him Sam. They could have their own name for him and they would be a group.
”Yes!” Dean agreed.
They were both equally as disappointed when they got to see Sammy and he was all little and pink and wrinkly and couldn't even speak. Mary said that he would grow bigger, and Dean and Cas couldn't wait for that to happen.
Their parents had become friends too. They would have barbecues and make dinner for each other and Mary and John would bring little Sammy and Cas' mom would hold him and say over and over how cute he was. Dean and Cas would play in his his room because they were all boring and they only ever came down when it was time to eat.
One day Cas' parents told him that two men and two women could get marry. He couldn't remember the context or how they got to the subject, but he knew that that's what they had said. And he was pleased, because he would much rather marry Dean than a girl, and he told him that.
”You get married when you love someone”, they said.
”Then I love Dean”, he said.
They shook their heads and laughed, but then they said 'sure, if you still want to when you're old enough'.
Cas couldn't wait to be old enough. He told Dean that they could get married and he said that it was weird, but Cas said that his parents were never wrong so he believed him.
At the dinner table the Novaks told the Winchesters all about it. They laughed and said that they would make a cute couple indeed. Mary agreed and jokingly suggested Sam as best man. John sat quietly and smiled a strained smile when someone told a joke and everyone else laughed.
But Cas hadn't been joking. He had been dead serious about marrying Dean.
***
Mary was just going to the store. She had Sam in the passenger seat. It was winter and the road was icy. The radio was playing The Beatles when she lost control over the car and it flipped over the edge into a ravine. She was killed instantly.
Sam was six months old at the time. He survived, but only barely. He had suffered severe head trauma and the doctors said he would never recover. Dean could hear his father cry inside the bathroom and he didn't want to play with Cas during his lenghty hospital visits.
He wanted his mother back. He wanted her to hug him and sing him 'Hey Jude' and blow on his wounds. His dad was too busy now. He cried a lot and he didn't have time for him. He said he had to take care of Sam. Dean didn't understand why the doctors couldn't take care of Sam and make him better. Cas hugged him when he started crying. Cas' mother called John but he couldn't come pick him up. She said he had to stay at the hospital and Dean cried even more because he wanted to go home.
Eventually John told him that they had to move. Dean didn't want to move away from there. He wanted to stay there with Cas, because Cas was funnier than dad and Sammy. His dad promised that they wouldn't sell the house, that they would just rent it out to another family and then they could come back when Sammy was well again. They had to go a specialist hospital with specialist doctors in another state and they could fix him.
Dean got angry. Cas got angrier. He threw a tantrum. He was throwing stuff and kicking and hitting and screaming because he was so angry. He didn't want Dean to go and leave him all alone again. He didn't want to be alone. His parents told him that everything would be okay but he didn't believe them. He knew that they lied, because it couldn't be okay without Dean. They were supposed to get married, but now Dean would be an eternity away from him. He didn't know what to do.
John loaded his boxes and two sons in his Chevy Impala and off they went. He was stern and serious and his hands clenched the wheels as he backed out of the driveway and drove down the street. Cas was watching from his own yard. He hadn't even hugged Dean before they went.
Dean stared out at him through the back window and put a hand on it, as if he was trying to reach out and touch him before it was too late and he would be too far away to ever do it again.
I will come back, he thought.
He didn't say it because Cas wouldn't hear it, but he promised himself that he would. One day, when his dad didn't cry when he cooked microwave dinner and Sammy was okay, he would come back. No matter how long it took, no matter if the street had been destroyed by robots or an alien invasion and nothing was left and Cas had forgotten him and wasn't waiting. Of course, he didn't think it would be that long. He thought he would be back in jiff.
Because he would be back. Whatever happened, he would be back.