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"do you think they're okay?"
"i'm sure they're fine一by the way, what's your name? i don't think we've met before."
"heizou, shikanoin heizou."
he reaches a hand out.
the blonde boy breaks into this bright smile.
"nice to meet you, heizou! i'm kaveh."
he stretches his own hand out for him to take and一wow, it's really soft. heizou should ask him from some tips on how he does that. callouses form on his hands and his skin peels which is unsightly... but that's not why he's here!
he clears his throat, looking back to the circular structure. some portal appears when you get too close and transports you to whole new domain filled with enemies. he's been inside a total of one time where he was almost squashed to death by a fucking primordial bathysmal vishap (alias, the biggest fucking lizard he has ever seen in his life).
the traveller regularly brings him and their friends to this place, claiming that it would bless them and all that crap. the only blessing he has gotten from it is the blessing of trauma.
the location of this place is also insanely deserted. you can either glide across the entire ocean or use the teleport way point to get here which, by the way, only the traveller can use. he has to pray to the wind archon that there's enough wind to carry him into the air and to the electro archon that fucking lightning doesn't strike him down midway.
he's forced to come here every 16 days (yes, he's been keeping track) with all of the traveller's other friends. it was like some sort of survival show, seeing who would be picked to enter the eerie domain.
the first four he picked were the shirasagi himegimi, kazuha, the divine priestess of watatsumi Island, and this other lady whom he has never seen before. she's really tall with these red ropes all over body. heizou briefly wonders if she uses those to sedate her enemies.
the next four was the traveller himself, a boy with blue hair and an ugly ass haircut (honestly, even heizou thinks he can cut hair better than that), this burly looking dude with grey hair like a grandpa一he has fan-tabulous pecs by the way一and the kuki shinobu.
he almost screamed when he heard her name. kuki shinobu?? as in, his kuki shinobu??
obviously, she didn't make a sound. not even when heizou employed his proven tactic of making puppy eyes at her and whimpering her name to convince her to stay.
she just sighed and promised she would be back, before leaving through the blackhole.
he knows shinobu can take care of herself just fine but when there were other people at stake, she would be the first to sacrifice herself. it doesn't help that she literally has to hurt herself everytime she uses her vision! that's so not cool!
it's worrying and heizou feels worse with every minute that passes without knowing what's happening inside.
"...a-are you okay?"
he melodramatically turns his head towards kaveh, staring straight into his ruby eyes and into his soul.
"do i look okay?" the answer is no. he grabs his head in his hands, fidgeting in his position. "i can't believe this is happening. my wife is dying and i can't even save her."
"you're married?"
"this is an absolute catastrophe! my life is ruined!"
"aren't you...like...15 years old?"
"tragedy! oh, what an unjust tragedy!"
"wait, um...heizou...i think that they're一"
"TTRRAAGEDDYYY!!!"
"...SHIKANOIN!"
he whips his head around and when his eyes land on the green haired girl, his expression changes. it's like night and day and he's now beaming with joy.
"cookie!!!"
he squeals. he runs towards her, opening up his arms and jumps onto her.
------
this is the first time kuki shinobu has been in the spiral abyss一technically, her second but this time she's properly prepared. the first time she stepped foot into this place, she was given a dull blade and no artifacts to support her which explains why she was almost killed by a hillichurl... but that's beside the point!
this time she has a stronger sword, more powerful talents and artifacts to call her own.
not only that, but she's also not alone. she's learnt their names and a brief background on each of her team members: al haitham, current acting grand sage of sumeru, xingqiu, a disciple of the guhua clan, and babygirl_xoxo, the renowned traveller.
they had a brief moment to discuss their strategy and, not going to lie, she thinks that they may actually have this in the bag.
the fighting is brutal. there are many times where she found herself on the brink of her death and barely has the energy to use her vision. she also tripped on alhaitham's long coat but he managed to catch her before she ate the ground.
it's a miracle no one died, well at least no one in their team. she sees kazuha hanging off of shenhe's shoulders as they walk out of the domain. he could really use a teyvat fried egg right now.
thankfully, all of them are restored back to their original state before they entered the domain. her health has gone back up and she can feel the weight of survival being lifted off her shoulders.
she lifts her arms to the sky, stretching out to relieve the tension in her back. 16 more days before she needs to come back to this wretched place again. ugh.
oh well. she can worry about that later. now, she needs to find...
"is that...the heizou that you speak of?"
al haitham asks, as if almost in disbelief that the maroon haired with his arms flailing around and emoting weird sounds was a famous detective in inazuma.
she cringes, feeling slightly embarrassed. so much for trying to build heizou's reputation, only for him to crush it himself.
he looks like he's harassing some unfortunate soul and so she bows her head and excuses herself to knock some sense back into him.
he doesn't hear her call his name the first time, but it gets his attention when she shouts his name.
"SHIKANOIN!"
"cookie!!!"
he shouts, squeals almost. she can feel the wind being knocked out of her as he pounces onto her. usually, she can carry him with no sweats sweated but all the fighting has tired her out. her knees buckle under his weight causing her to fall backwards.
she yelps, barely able to breath or move with how tight his arms are around her.
he whines around her, showing no sign of releasing her from his grip or letting her catch her breath.
"i thought you were dead, pookie..."
"you over-think too much, heizou."
"still..."
shinobu knows how dramatic heizou can be but that doesn't blind her from the sliver of concern peaking through his voice. so, she reciprocates his hug, feeling him relax in her embrace.
"i can protect myself, heizou. you forget that i'm a strong, independent woman. guess that makes me...a tough cookie."
BLERGH!! SHE CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT. SHE NEEDS TO BLEACH HER MOUTH AND EARS, PRONTO!!
it's ridiculous how much heizou likes these puns. so much so that he's unable to stop himself from snorting and going into a laughing fit.
puns make her shudder but if heizou likes it that much, she can tolerate the bleach in her mouth and ears.
----- BONUS -----
"There you are, Alhaitham! Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?"
Kaveh asks in the most respectful tone he can muster. He might sound a little angry and he might be a little loud because everyone is starting to turn towards him, but can you really blame him?
"What."
Gosh, the audacity of this man. He waited for 1800 seconds for him and all that comes out of his mouth is one word: "What". Whatever, he mustn't get sidetracked now.
"Did you take my keys?"
"Oops."
"What? What do you mean by 'oops'? I swear, Alhaitham, that if you did something silly again, I'll一"
"I think I dropped it inside the Spiral Abyss."
"WHAT!"
Kaveh basically freezes because, what the fuck?!?!
He should have known that anytime Alhaitham has to speak more than one word, it's always nothing good.
He's in total shock.
No. Way.
Kaveh can barely pick up his claymore without hearing his knees crack, how is he suppose to fight the monsters to retrieve his keys? This is... madness. Actual insanity.
"Looks like you'll have to wait for me to unlock the door now."
Just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, it does and it shows up on Alhaitham's stupidly handsome face with that smirk that's growing on his lips.
His intrusive thoughts are telling him to just climb through the window but Kaveh doesn't think he's flexible enough to bend his body that much. Age is catching up to him, laughing at him and mocking him in a nice lamborghini which Kaveh also can't afford.
Kaveh doesn't know how to retort because一to be honest, he has nothing going on for him anyway. All he has to his name are the 0s in his wallet, bad spending habits and a ton of baggage, literally and figuratively.
Because of this, he scoffs before turning away and saying:
"I'm leaving."
"To where, exactly?"
Fuck Alhaitham!!! He hopes the cover of all his books crease!!!