Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The sounds of dry coughing and light wheezing echoed around the deafeningly silent house. The noise came from the scribe who did not attempt to mask the awful sounds. Not that he really could.

Alhaitham stood near a basin in the bathroom connected to his own bedroom. His breathing was labored as he struggled to get any air in between painful bouts of coughing, bringing up a strange mix of Mourning Flower petals coated in a thick crimson liquid he'd quickly come to identify as his blood.

This was by far his worst coughing fit. Before now they had been relatively rare and painless, with only a few petals escaping at first. Its severity only increased over the last few months, and now he felt as though his lungs were on fire and his body shook aggressively as it desperately attempted to empty its contents into his basin.

He didn't know when exactly this started, but what he used to dismiss as oddities that could be explained away as a result of excess power seeping from his vision had now become much more severe. A daunting affliction he had no knowledge or understanding of.

There was no solid pattern of symptoms, no clear sign of progression, just a soft tickle in the back of his throat that often evolved into a piercing pain in his lungs and throat. One that seemed to bring with it a larger pool of the infamously rare flower petals.

Usually, the pain wouldn't last longer than a few hours, but it sometimes persisted over several days, leaving his throat and chest in extreme pain.

If he were more sociable or talkative then more people may have picked up on it, but his distant nature made this subject easy to avoid.

The only one who seemed to notice was Kaveh, but even his attempts to ask the stubborn scribe about his condition ended in failure. Kaveh's attempts to reach out to Alhaitham in hopes of helping him somehow seemed to have the opposite effect, as his symptoms only got worse in the architect's presence.

It wasn't something he had any control over, and not even his own observations helped in figuring out how do deal with it consistently. Much like the inconsistent nature of its severity, this monstrous affliction usually ran its course on its own. No input from the scribe required.

'This will pass, just as it always does.' he reminded himself as the last of his coughs subsided.

The scribe was no fool, however. As he stared down at the crimson mess below him he grew increasingly aware of how bad the scene before him was.

After all, this was the first time he coughed up blood as well. He'd be a fool to assume that everything was okay, but his limited medical knowledge as a Haravatat scholar yielded no answers as to what was wrong with him.

As the smell of iron filled the room Alhaitham tried to puzzle together what could've caused his sudden sickness. With nothing immediately coming to mind he instead decided to recount the last few days leading up to this fit.

His work at the Akademiya was the same, not too taxing as expected from the scribe's position.

His diet and sleep hadn't changed so it couldn't be a result of that.

His roommate Kaveh hadn't been home for a week, having set off to Liyue by request of a client. His last interaction with the famed architect wasn't out of the ordinary either, another argument leading the ever-emotional blond into a tirade of obscenities and insults.

" You're so difficult! Why can't you show just the least bit of empathy?"

"Your attitude is somehow more fowl than the stench of a long-deceased sumpter beast."

"Surely even you know to rein in your bitting remarks Alhaitham. You'd benefit from being more aware of the people around you!"

"Your existence in my life is akin to a rash forming on my skin. Aggravating and utterly unpleasant... Frankly, it's a miracle that people can even stand to be in your presence!"

"Sometimes I wish I had the foresight to decline your offer to stay here. I'd take the cold of Sumeru's streets over your 'hospitality' any day!"

That last memory sent Alhaitham retching once more, another flood of petals and blood leaving his body.

Realizing how fruitless a task it was to attempt to narrow down the cause, Alhaitham simply shook his head and began cleaning up the ghastly scene again, silently promising himself not to strain himself anymore.

The sun was beginning to rise, and it wouldn't be long before he would also have to leave his home for a short while, having to yet again explore the desert for information on his latest research project.

He had the foresight to pack his essentials in advance, making it easy to pick up and leave. Having been set back by his unexpected coughing fit, he was soon approaching the time he would have to leave.

Despite his best attempts to clean the offending area, the smell of blood and mourning flowers stuck around the room. He decided to leave his bathroom window open. If anyone dared attempt to enter his house in his absence, they'd soon find themselves facing the Matra, or sooner yet his fury.

After double checking to see if everything was in order he made a quick pass through the living room, setting his eyes on a note his roommate had left before leaving.

He sighed, tentatively picking it up to see what his dear roommate had to say before leaving.

'I doubt you'd care to know, but I've left for Liyue. I'm sure you'll relish your time without me, but I'll be back in a week. Don't touch any of my stuff while I'm away! If you do I will know...

-Kaveh'

The piercing pain in his chest grew stronger, forcing Alhaitham to bite back the temptation to throw up again. 'I should take the chance to visit the birmastan when I get back. I'll be fine until then at least.' Alhaitham tried to convince himself as he left the house, being doubly sure that he'd locked the door behind him.

The cool air on his skin helped relieve his pain somewhat, which he was thankful for as he set off to Caravan Ribat with nothing but the slightest feeling of unease rising in him as he shook off the feeling of being watched.

From a distance two people watched as Alhaitham walked away, disappearing into the cloud of buildings at the city's center.

One of the two was Sumeru's archon, sitting calmly on a Dendro vine swing. Standing by her side as though he were her bodyguard was the Wanderer who watched the man walk away with a look of disapproval clear on his face.

"His condition is getting worse." the Wanderer said with crossed arms turning his attention to Nahida. "If you're so set on keeping your scribe around, why not deal with it yourself?"

Nahida lightly shook her head at his suggestion "The nature of his disease isn't something that I couldn't remove myself, but the consequences are something I couldn't force on anyone. He needs to find the solution himself, or at the very least he should come to me of his own free will if he chooses that route."

"Your logic doesn't track. At the rate he's going he'll die. He doesn't even seem to know what the problem is."

Nahida was silent for a moment before turning her attention to Wanderer. "If a vulture's wings were infected and the only way to save it was removing those wings, would you cut its wings and let it live having lost its purpose, or let it fly for the short time he has left?"

Wanderer let out a sigh "Whether it lives or dies is none of my concern."

Nahida let out a soft giggle "I suppose the passing wanderer may not notice the pain of the vulture if it doesn't take the time to observe it."

Realizing that he had unwittingly walked into another one of her analogies he rolled his eyes, walking away at a pace that Nahida could keep up with as they disappeared, escaping the gaze of anyone who may have noticed their presence.

__________

A week had passed as Alhaitham made his way through the bustling streets of Sumeru. His desert expedition was straightforward, simple, and without incident. This was standard procedure for him as this is how it always was for him.

Now as he navigated the route to his house he felt the tugging pull of exhaustion creeping up on him. Even though it was midday the trip still left him feeling fatigued, most likely due to the lack of coffee.

He walked towards his front door, reaching his hand into his pocket to pull out his keys. After trying and failing to turn the key in the keyhole, Alhaitham wearily put his hand on the handle, noting how easily the door opened. It hadn't been locked.

He carefully walked into the house being careful to observe every inch of the house. Nothing seemed to have changed. Nothing looked like it had been moved. Not even the note that Kaveh had left for him. It took a few moments before he heard a soft shuffling sound seemingly from one of the rooms deeper in the house.

Alhaitham carefully put his bag down and approached the sound that seemed to be coming from Kaveh's room. The door that was previously closed was now slightly ajar and it was no doubt that a soft sound could be heard within.

Before he could reach open the door it swung open with the tip of a polearm barrelling towards him. At a moment's notice, Alhaitham materialized his blade, parrying the incoming strike and sending his attacker backward.

He did not doubt that if it weren't for the narrow hallway they stood in, their sudden duel would almost certainly continue for at least a few more moments. He found himself thankful that wasn't the case as he was too fatigued to have carried on for too much longer. Perhaps if it were any normal person it would be easy, but considering who stood before him he would most definitely been overpowered.

"Cyno?" Alhaitham asked, his tone dancing between concern and surprise.

"Alhaitham..." he responded, sounding almost relieved at his appearance.

"How did you get into my house?" the scribe questioned, putting his weapon away. 'He couldn't have broken in, nothing seems out of place.'

"About that..." Cyno paused before raising up a set of keys with a familiar-looking lion keychain hanging off the end.

The room fell silent for a moment as Alhaitham processed the information in front of him. Not only did he have Kaveh's keys, but one look behind him revealed a carry bag that looked to have some of the blond's belongings. His mind raced to find an explanation before settling down, giving himself a chance to think things through.

When his expression changed from momentary contemplation to his standard stoic expression Cyno decided to continue his statement. "some eremites reported strange activity near the chasm entrance. Deyha was part of that group and found Kaveh near the base. He was unconscious and not in a good way, but Tighnari's been taking care of him since we found him."

Alhaitham stood silent for a few moments taking it all in.

"Is he okay?" he finally asked, causing Cyno to fall silent. Seconds passed in silence.

Five...

Ten...

Twenty...

Cyno's silence wasn't a result of not having an answer. He knew Kaveh's condition, he just didn't want to say anything. It was clear as day on his face, his expression gave the ever-observant Alhaitham the answer he needed.

He took a deep breath, pushing back the rising need to cough out the few flower petals that seemed to have gathered in his chest over the last minute.

"Where is he?" Alhaitham finally asked, his voice noticeably shakier than before.

"Gandharva Ville."

"Take me to him."

Cyno cocked his eyebrow at Alhaitham's request. He noticed the gray-haired man's exhausted figure long ago, and the trip to Gandharva Ville was sure to be long and tiring, especially in the Sumeru heat.

"We can go tomorrow-" he began to suggest before being cut off.

"Take me there now!" Alhaitham demanded this time.

Cyno stood in silence momentarily, genuinely considering his options. Realistically he could just leave Alhaitham here and go on his own, then come back tomorrow when he'd gotten enough rest. The likelihood of Alhaitham standing around instead of leaving on his own was incredibly low, however, so really his options were limited. For the scribe's sake, he folded, offering a small nod before turning around and picking up the bag of Kaveh's belongings. "Let's make haste. If we leave now we should arrive at Gandharva Ville by sunset. Are you sure there's nothing you'll need before we head off?"

Alhaitham shook his head earning another questioning stare from Cyno. A few moments of stubborn silence between the both of them before the tickle in the back of Alhaitham's throat gave rise again.

Under the stern gaze of the General, Alhaitham relented. He would've given his current condition away. While he wasn't against his friends finding out, he himself still hadn't learned what exactly was wrong with him, and if Cyno picked up on this he would easily find some way to stop Alhaitham from visiting his roommate. "Fine. I'll grab a change of clothes for the trip, then we'll leave."

Cyno offered a small nod and watched Alhaitham retreat to his room. "I'll wait for you outside."

Without giving a response Alhaitham closed the door behind him just in time to let out a few frenzied coughs, letting a few petals drop to the ground while the taste of crimson iron lay still on his tongue. If Cyno heard it he certainly made no mention.

'But I was fine until now. What gives?'

Alhaitham didn't give himself time to contemplate what was going on. No. There were far more important things to worry about. 'Maybe it's just stress. The suddenness of the situation would explain that.' Yeah, just stress... Perhaps it was his vision acting up... That's all it was. Now that the scribe had a logical enough explanation, he could move on to bigger things.

Alhaitham quickly cleaned up the mess in his basin and made a short dash to his closet. At its base was a small travel bag, already filled with clothes that Alhaitham had pre-prepared for whatever emergency made packing too inconvenient. Cyno likely would've been fine waiting for Alhaitham to pack, but the scribe himself wasn't patient enough for that. Not now.

He grabbed the pre-packed bag and quickly made his way outside where the general was waiting. Cyno noticed Alhaitham's rushed actions and raised his eyebrow, crossing his arms with a light sigh. "That was quick."

Alhaitham gave a curt nod in response. "There's no reason to waste time."

Cyno let out a surprised huff and turned around, already preparing to make the journey. He adjusted his grip on the bag of Kaveh's belongings and began walking down the path, knowing Alhaitham was going to follow.

Sure enough, Alhaitham fell into step with Cyno. Navigating the streets in broad daylight proved to be troublesome. After all, the General Mahamatra walking alongside the Akademiya Scribe was sure to turn some heads, but it seemed that people were more interested than usual - or maybe Alhaitham was just more paranoid than usual.

Cyno gave Alhaitham a sideways glance before sighing. "Is the bag really required?"

Alhaitham nodded, tightening his grip on his bag. "It's important to be well equipped for the unknown."

"It's just Gandharva Ville, you've been there plenty of times." Cyno retorted.

"I'm not saying I expect danger, especially with you and the Forest Rangers around."

"You're more than capable of defending yourself."

"Perhaps..." Alhaitham trailed off, too distracted by the sting in his chest to bother holding a serious conversation. Pretty soon things fell silent between the two of them for several long minutes. "How is he?" Alhaitham finally asked, his curiosity scoring a rare win over him.

Cyno, still facing the road ahead, responded in a low solemn voice. "Alive."

Alhaitham furrowed his brow at Cyno's frustratingly vague response, but he didn't further pursue his line of questioning. He'd find out soon... he just had to be patient... and resist the sudden urge to break into a coughing fit.

☻

Chapter Text

Alhaitham was a man of rational thinking. Everything had a rational explanation. Every thought a person has has a logical root. Every feeling someone has spawned from something else.

There was always an explanation for anything, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

So when he felt his heart sink in his chest when he set eyes on Kaveh lying pathetically on a bed in one of Tighnari's huts, he knew there was a reason. When he felt regret at not being home when Kaveh was first found, he knew there was a reason. When thorns seemed to dance in his throat, he knew there was a reason.

What the reason was however he couldn't figure out. Be it how dense he was when it came to emotions, or his refusal to admit he missed seeing Kaveh, Alhaitham wouldn't let himself admit to any of it.

To anyone else, Kaveh may have looked perfectly normal. To the untrained eye, it looked like he was sleeping peacefully. But to Alhaitham this was quite a troubling sight.

His skin was pale, his cheeks sunken, and his frame looked smaller than usual most likely as a result of having gone hungry for several days. The only saving grace (if he could even call it that) was that he hadn't sustained any noticeable injuries.

But that only led to another issue: while his body looked mostly okay, his voice was strained and tired, eyes dilated yet glazed over, his breathing labored as if there was a heavy weight on his chest. But the worst of it all had to be the most unexplainable part.

"Memory loss?" Alhaitham whispered to Cyno who stood next to him, watching as Tighnari tended to the still-sleeping Kaveh, cleaning out the few bruises and cuts that seemed to never heal.

"Mm... He recognizes us but doesn't know anything about us or even himself. Tighnari called it selective amnesia." Cyno replied in a quiet matter-of-fact tone.

Tighnari moved from the still-sleeping Kaveh who looked as though he was beginning to stir. "To be honest I'm hesitant to call it plain amnesia, that would imply some level of head trauma and consistency in his missing memories."

"Is it that severe?" the scribe asked earning an uncertain shrug in response.

His gaze shifted from Tighnari back to the blond laying on the bed, his heart skipping a beat when he realized that Kaveh's eyes now met his. Not exhaustedly droopy as he would've expected, but wide open staring at him like a desert fox trapped in quicksand, shocked and confused.

"Al... Haitham..." Kaveh spoke weakly, concern laced in his voice. "You're here... You are Alhaitham right?"

"That's right." he responded with a small nod.

Kaveh seemed almost relieved at his response. "That's unexpected. I didn't think you'd be the type to visit someone like me."

Alhaitham's expression softened for a moment in surprise, a slight pang of guilt in his chest. It took a moment for him to register what Kaveh said, but when he did his shoulders tensed up.

Kaveh spoke as if he didn't really recognize Alhaitham, and it didn't help that the blond's expression didn't hold the same familiarity he was used to. For a moment his eyes reminded Alhaitham of their first encounter in the Akademiya. The memory of how the Kshahrewar senior once approached Alhaitham with a mix of curiosity and caution. People with the courage to do so were rare, even more so than the Mourning flowers that seemed to constantly dance in his throat. It was almost hard to believe that all these years later Alhaitham would be seeing the same look again.

Alhaitham let out a low sigh sharing a glance between Cyno and Tighnari. He didn't realize how long he had been silent until Kaveh spoke up again.

"Forgive me for asking but, what are you doing here?"

"I... I" Alhaitham's voice seemed to get caught in his throat.

'I was worried about you.'

It was a simple thought and an honest sentiment, but Alhaitham couldn't just say that. Not because he didn't want to admit it, but rather because he didn't want to give his housemate an opening for any snide remarks. That's the reason. That's what he told himself. Alhaitham didn't want for anyone's company. He relished his own solitude. His time spent alone at home was the best thing he'd had since Kaveh moved in. His time spent alone in the desert was comforting and relaxing, almost as if he were on vacation.

It may have been three days since Kaveh was first rescued but that made no difference. It's not as if he would've dashed to his side when he learned about Kaveh's condition. Kaveh would've been fine. Being worried meant little in this instance. That's what Alhaitham told himself.

"I wanted to find out what happened to you. It seems your recklessness has inconvenienced both me and your clients yet again."

Kaveh shot him a skeptical glance. His brow furrowed as his eyes reflected a strange mix of confusion, hesitation, and the slightest bit of pain.

"Alhaitham," Tighnari interjected, "now's probably not the time for that."

Alhaitham let out a steady breath "And why is that?"

Tighnari turned to look at Cyno who simply shrugged his shoulders. "I figured I'd leave the explanations to you. It's easier that way."

"Right. In that case, let's step outside."

Alhaitham shot a skeptical glance to Kaveh whose gaze hadn't left the grey haired man. It seemed more like Kaveh was analyzing him than just staring. It was as if he was trying to learn something about him or silently observe his every move.

In a way, it reminded him of days gone by with Alhaitham sitting on the divan in the living room across from Kaveh. He missed the way he would occasionally look up from whatever book he was reading that day to watch the genius architect passionately engaged in his work. Or the days he'd sometimes catch himself watching Kaveh as his gentle hands skillfully prepared dinner with ease.

When Alhaitham realized he'd been staring for too long he tore his gaze away from the recovering blond and followed Tighnari outside.

"So what's wrong with him? Putting his slurred and delirious speech side, he seems okay to me."

"It's difficult to explain. Physically he's weak, having gone at least ten days without food or water, but other than that and the bruises he sustained after his fall there's nothing wrong with him on that front."

"And mentally?"

Kaveh's physical state wasn't an immediate concern to Alhaitham. What Tighnari just said wasn't new information to either of them. It seemed the forest ranger used this as an opening, or perhaps as a means to stall the conversation.

"Hard to say. Amnesia isn't the right word but I don't know what to call it. In a way it's almost as if he's forgotten everything that makes him... him."

Every word Tighnari spoke seemed professional and authoritative, likely as a result of the tone he'd gained over the years of treating patience with all manner of afflictions. Even still, Alhaitham detected the notes of uncertainty in his voice.

With his curiosity rising to a fever pitch Alhaitham cocked an eyebrow up with a short hum, inviting Tighnari to continue speaking.

Tighnari let out a sigh before continuing. "His mannerisms, his behavior, his... eccentricities... Everything Kaveh about him seems to be gone. In fact, when I asked him about his latest architectural project he had no memory of it either. If anything it's the opposite, almost as if his mind is actively removing any memories associated with the most central parts of his personality. What caused it and the extent of it is still unknown to me."

Alhaitham had rarely found it difficult to follow a conversation, but this was an exception. His mind raced to piece everything he just learned together but he couldn't find a single logical explanation for this condition. His thoughts mirrored the uncertainty in Tighnari's words, and that was the unsettling part.

There were too many questions he needed answers to, so the only thing that would hopefully help satiate his curiosity. Surely he couldn't reach a rational conclusion because he didn't have enough information. That could be fixed.

"Did he sustain any head injuries?"

Tighnari shook his head. "Nothing severe enough to cause this."

"How about oxygen deprivation?"

"The thought crossed my mind. While some of his symptoms match, it's not to the level that could explain his mental state."

Alhaitham fell silent, his face calm and stoic while his thoughts were the exact opposite. "What about... about-"

Kaveh's voice broke the silence, calling out Tighnari's name. Alhaitham gave a subtle nod, silently telling Tighnari to go attend to their friend.

In reality, he needed a moment to think. He felt himself beginning to reach for an answer which he knew wasn't conducive to helping Kaveh.

Alhaitham watched Tighnari disappear into the hut before walking off in the opposite direction, telling himself that a walk would help him process what he had just learned. Some time to himself to collect his thoughts is exactly what he needed.

In reality, he knew what was coming. He felt the burning in his chest rising by the minute, and didn't want to be around anyone when the fallout came. Alhaitham had half a mind to ask Tighnari what was causing these coughing fits of his but now wasn't the time. He would get to it in time. Surely. Just not now.

He found himself leaning against a tree checking to see if anyone was in sight and when he was sure no one else was around he let out a cough he held back since first setting sight on Kaveh.

At first, only a few petals fell. Then several more. Then he tasted blood.

His coughs grew louder and more aggressive as the wildlife around him had gone quiet in response, fleeing from the retching man's echo.

"Alhaitham?" an unexpected yet familiar female voice called out to him, causing the scribe to freeze in place such that even his coughing settled momentarily.

He was slower to react than he would've liked as he turned to see yet another unexpected sight that day. For a moment he considered if his fatigue had finally caught up to him but a few blinks dispelled any doubts in his mind. "Dehya?" his voice was rough and he spoke in a pained whisper.

The mercenary, ever quick to act, reached out to help lift Alhaitham off the tree. "Hold on, I'll help you get to Tighnari. Maybe he can help."

Alhaitham held his hand up, wordlessly declining her offer to help. "No need, I'm fine." if his pained tone wasn't enough, the next few coughs betrayed his words. As petals fell from Alhaitham's mouth Dehya's expression changed from concern to surprise.

"Hanahaki disease..."

Dehya's tone portrayed disbelief and surprise while Alhaitham stood in confusion at what she just said.

"What?"

"Hanahaki. That's what you've got right?"

Alhaitham fell silent, unable and unwilling to give her an answer.

Dehya's expression turned into a frown that was unable to mask her concern and disbelief. For a moment Alhaitham was sure he saw something else in her eyes. Sadness? Or was it pity? He couldn't tell.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" she asked pulling him out of his thoughts.

"What did you call this?" if Alhaitham let the topic of conversation change he might miss his chance to learn about this current situation he was in. The validity of the information can be investigated another time, for now, he needed a lead. Investigating with an end result in mind often yielded different results from investigating blindly.

"Hanahaki? If I remember right it has something to do with love not being returned?"

The notion of a disease being caused by something as abstract as human emotion was already unbelievable as it was, but a sickness spawning from unrequited love and affection seemed near impossible to the man. However impossible was too strong a word for a situation that had even the slightest sliver of truth in it, especially as the current state of his body was all the proof he needed to at least entertain the idea. Even still, he couldn't help but think of it as improbable, especially for someone like himself.

"Never heard of it."

"Oh sorry, it's just something I learned about from a story my lady once told me. It might not have anything to do with actual illness and stuff... Not that I'm implying you're sick it's just..." Dehya trailed off nervously. Alhaitham was one of the most knowledgeable people she knew, being so high up in the Akademiya he prioritized facts above all else.

Alhaitham readjusted himself, leaning more comfortably against the tree allowing himself to face Dehya properly. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, grateful that his dark clothing didn't allow for blood stains to show themselves easily. "Tell me about it."

"Huh?"

"The disease in the story."

"You actually want to know about it?" Dehya asked earning a small nod from Alhaitham. "Alright. I don't know all the details but the idea is that when a person has feelings for someone that aren't returned, flowers take root in the person's lungs. Eventually, it kills them and the only cure is if their feelings are returned."

His eyes trailed for a moment before lightly scoffing at the suggestion. "That sounds ridiculous."

Dehya hummed lightly as if she agreed with him to some extent. "It was probably just some kind of story or legend. Something like that happening to you of all people is as unbelievable as the story itself."

Alhaitham let out a bitter chuckle. Unbelievable or not it was the reality he was faced with, assuming this was real of course. There was still much he didn't understand, and the likelihood of there being another explanation for what was wrong with him was still high. There had to be. For Alhaitham to find himself submitting to the whims of affection was one thing, but to this extent was unthinkable to him. He couldn't even imagine what or who could've caused this. He wasn't a sentimental person, but he wasn't devoid of emotion either.

Regardless this wasn't the time to entertain thoughts of that nature. His friend was still recovering and no one knew what was wrong with him or what even happened to put him in his current state. No, he had to delay this line of inquiry. He'd look into it another time when Kaveh had recovered.

"Dehya," Alhaitham began with an overly serious tone, a sharp contrast to the conversation up to this point. "let's keep this between us for now."

"You want me to keep an old story a secret?" she said with crossed arms.

"I mean you finding me like this." Alhaitham said bluntly and Dehya shot him a questioning gaze "It's complicated. Consider it a favor."

"Don't count on keeping it under wraps forever. I'm sure Cyno and Tighnari will notice sooner or later."

Alhaitham gave a quick nod in response and pushed himself off the tree. "You're right, but they've got better things to worry about. Oh, and thank you... for rescuing Kaveh I mean."

Dehya noticed what looked to be an expression of relief for a second. "No need to thank me. Is he okay?"

Unable to fully answer that question Alhaitham shrugged in response. "I think Tighnari is better equipped to answer that."

__________

"How's he doing?" Cyno asked Tighnari as he watched him lull Kaveh back to sleep. The recovering architect had been both weary and exhausted since he was first discovered, and they'd be lying if either of them said they weren't concerned about his condition.

Tighnari let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head. "No different from yesterday, no sign of recovery. Other than the burst of energy he had with Alhaitham present, he hasn't gotten better." his words trailed off as he slipped into thought. There was clearly something on his mind and Cyno hadn't missed the sudden change in attitude.

"What's wrong?"

Tighnari shook his head again, clearing his thoughts before answering. "Does it feel like something's missing? With Kaveh I mean. I can't help but feel like something is missing, even after you got some of his clothes."

Cyno paused for a moment while considering Tighnari's question. "It's likely that maybe a few of his accessories are missing. Or maybe something else? I'll be heading back to the chasm with Dehya later today, so if we find something we'll let you know."

"You're going back to the chasm?"

Cyno offered a small nod. "It seems there's some kind of disturbance there. Yesterday we received reports of other patients at the birmastan with similar symptoms who were found in that same area."

"I see. If it's as dangerous as it seems then I imagine there will be a large investigation team?"

"Actually, no. Just Dehya and I. If necessary I'll call in reinforcements but this is a more covert investigation, as ordered of me by the Lesser Lord herself."

"Ah... I see." Tighnari couldn't mask the surprise in his voice. After all, it wasn't every day that the Dendro Archon presented themselves in front of someone, let alone assigns them a special task. Whatever protests he may have had, it wasn't Tighnari's place to say anything. "If that's the case then just stay safe. I'd rather not have to nurse both of my friends if I can help it."

Cyno offered a silent nod, knowing that he couldn't promise anything but that he wouldn't let himself end up in harm's way.

"You might have to, if those pained coughs in the distance are anything to go by." he said, tilting his head toward the door as he crossed his arms.

"You mean Alhaitham right? I just assumed it was because he hadn't had a chance to rest since returning from the desert."

The general shrugged, admitting it was a possibility but unable to shake the feeling that there was more to it. Perhaps he was exaggerating if even Tighnari didn't seem concerned about it.

It might have just been his imagination, but he noticed the scribe's strange behavior ever since he encountered him in his home. His slightly labored breathing, his somewhat strained voice, his sudden tensing of his shoulders at almost random.

If there was something wrong with him then perhaps he'd come to them in time. Alhaitham may have been overly independent but he knew his limits and rarely pushed them the way Kaveh did. Alhaitham would hardly ever put something else before his own comfort, so if he wasn't doing well he'd take a step back, right?

Cyno couldn't convince himself that this was true. It was the logical thing to do, but desperation has a way of stripping even the most rational minds of all logic and sense. He'd seen it for himself countless times in his time as General Mahamatra.

Chapter Text

Kaveh was a man of empathy. Every action a person took spawned an emotional reaction. Every response a person had resulted in strong feelings. Every feeling a person had dictated their next move, impulsive or otherwise.

There was always a response to everything, whether he understood it or not.

So when a certain baritone voice rang out in the room Kaveh felt his heart skip a beat, he knew that something in him recognized that voice's owner. Maybe a part of him even longed for his presence. His eyes were still closed, and a part of him wondered if he were still dreaming, but the voice sounded too close, too clear, and in a strange way it was almost tangible.

He felt the touch of a gloved hand on his skin. It took him a moment to rationalize that it was Tighnari's. The hand worked its way up his arm, unwrapping the bandages placed over his wounds. He didn't know the origins of his wounds, but the stinging feeling on his skin was enough to fully wake him up.

His mind was fully active, a parallel to the sleepy, lazy, reluctant state of his body. Were he in a more comfortable position, Kaveh would just let himself drift off back to sleep. He almost allowed it to happen, regardless of the pain shooting through his body, but the sound of a familiar voice calling out a familiar name was enough for Kaveh to resist the temptation to fall asleep once again.

"Kaveh?"

'That's someone new... But I know that voice... I think I do. I should know...'

Next was Cyno's voice. "He's resting, it's best not to disturb him."

'Who's he talking to?'

Kaveh hoped the baritone voice would speak up again, but the next voice was almost alarmingly close and sounded as surprised to see the voice's owner as Kaveh was to hear his voice.

"Alhaitham? What are you doing here?"

'Alhaitham? I should know that name... I feel like I do...'

For a moment he considered opening his eyes to see if he could just reach out and touch the voice's owner, but as far as he knew he could still just be dreaming.

But the people of Sumeru don't dream. That's as much as he remembers. But Tighnari told him that things had changed. But when? How?

He believes the Forest Ranger or at least, he feels like he should. Tighnari's face seemed familiar enough, but he didn't know from where. Tighnari claims they were friends, so Kaveh believed him. It wasn't gullible of him to do so. He felt safe in his presence, and so Kaveh accepted this information, unable to rationalize the confusion he felt when he first woke up in the Ranger's unfamiliar hut.

This confusion he felt only doubled when he first laid eyes on Cyno. Another familiar face, another familiar voice, another warm feeling in his chest. It seemed like Cyno was also a friend. At least, that's how he felt. Cyno told him as much later in the day, so he believed him. Just like Tighnari, Cyno managed to evoke a feeling of comfort and safety. Surely he couldn't feel this way about a stranger.

But this time was different. The sound of this voice managed to cause a surge of untamed emotions to burst into his chest. Joy, anger, relief, frustration, embarrassment, assurance, agitation, stillness... but certainly the most overpowering emotion he felt was confusion.

His head was a mess of fog and murkiness as he tried desperately to recall who it was. His heart on the other hand was weary, as if it already knew the answers his clouded mind tried desperately to find.

"Memory loss?" the voice asked softly, the sound alone causing yet another wave of indecipherable emotions to rise up in him.

As Kaveh lay in bed, his breathing slowly rose and his expression unknowingly turned into somewhat of a frown. A few moments pass with hushed whispers before he feels Tighnari's hands stray away from his arms.

'He's probably be done cleaning those wounds but neglected to bandage them again.'

The surge of feelings that had been building in his chest settled into one of anxiety and uncertainty. This third voice in the room sounded aggravatingly familiar. His thoughts began to spiral as a mild panic began to rise within him.

Maybe he should just open his eyes and check. He might recognize the new variable in the room. Perhaps this will be the face that restores his memories.

The weight of his thoughts overpowered the strong wave of emotions telling him to just stay put.

He slowly opened his eyes, welcoming light into his eyes for the first time that day.

When his vision focused he took note of the three people standing in the room, a match for the three voices he'd tried to sleep through.

He recognized Cyno, who stood leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He recognized Tighnari, whose back was turned to Kaveh. The only one he didn't immediately recognize was the grey-haired man facing Tighnari.

'That must be Alhaitham.'

The unfamiliarity didn't linger for long. His focus shifted from the three men in front of him to what he could only identify as a memory.

Alhaitham standing by his side in a tavern with an unopened bottle of wine in hand. What he was doing there and the nature of Kaveh's own condition wasn't clear, the only other thing he could recall was a question the grey-haired man asked as he stared Kaveh down with a look of near indifference.

"How has realizing your ideals gone for you?"

Kaveh blinked a few times, pushing the image out of his head. His heart seemed to pound against his chest as a mix of emotions overwhelmed him, his eyes revealing his confusion as he stared a hole into Alhaitham.

When Alhaitham returned his gaze it felt as though time seemed to stop.

Before he registered what he was doing, Kaveh found himself taking a shaky breath before speaking. "Al... Haitham?" if he tried to come off as calm then his voice betrayed him. "You're here... You are Alhaitham right?"

Alhaitham responded without hesitation, his reply short and to the point. "That's right."

'Alhaitham.'

Simply speaking his name was enough to send the recovering architect into a mental tirade of fear and confusion. His brain rationed that this was a trustworthy person if he was here with Cyno and Tighnari, but his heart countered that with a feeling of doubt, uncertainty, and concern. At this point, it was his heart speaking, even if he didn't understand why he reacted the way he did.

"That's unexpected. I didn't think you'd be the type to visit someone like me." the words left Kaveh's mouth before he realized what he was saying.

The room fell silent with only a low sigh from Alhaitham. Did he say something wrong?

Anxious to break the silence he decided to turn his brain off and ask the first thing his heart compelled him to. "Forgive me for asking but, what are you doing here?"

"I... I" Alhaitham's expression didn't change but he became silent for a moment, seemingly thinking through his answer. "I wanted to find out what happened to you. It seems your recklessness has inconvenienced both me and your clients yet again."

Something about that response upset Kaveh. He didn't know why, but Alhaitham's response stirred a mix of emotions in him. His heart grew heavy at the mention of clients. Why would that of all things serve to upset him?

Before he realized it, both Alhaitham and Tighnari stepped out of the room.

Cyno noticed Kaveh's troubled expression and asked what was wrong, to which Kaveh shook his head.

"Mm. In that case, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly? Still kinda overwhelmed." Kaveh said with a sigh, earning a sympathetic look from Cyno. When Kaveh noticed he shook his head. "Please don't pity me. I'll be fine I just need to... figure this out."

"If you ever need anything you're always welcome to ask any of us." the General offered, earning a small smile which soon faded as his thoughts began to wander. His gaze was fixed on the door, part of him wondering if Tighnari and Alhaitham would walk back into the room.

Cyno noticed Kaveh's distant gaze and considered just letting him contemplate things for a moment. It was doubtless that the architect was troubled. Who wouldn't be in his situation? But even still he needed to know everything Kaveh knew. He already questioned him about what he was doing at the chasm and got no real response. But something interesting caught his attention.

"Kaveh?" when Cyno could tell he had the blond's attention he continued with a serious tone. "How did you recognize Alhaitham?"

Kaveh seemed surprised by the question but soon just shrugged with an uncertain expression on his face. He knew Cyno was trying to find any lead that could've resulted in his current situation, so he didn't mind having to answer. "I remember seeing him somewhere. I don't know where but it was indoors I think. The memory is hazy but I remember him standing over me saying some stuff I don't remember... and... and..."

Recalling the memory caused Kaveh's head to hurt. His voice trailed off and the world around him seemed to melt away becoming nothing but a blur, replaced with a torrent of complicated thoughts and emotions.

The feeling of Cyno's hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality. He hadn't noticed that his breathing picked up and tears formed in his eyes. "It's okay, don't push yourself to remember if it's too much for you."

Kaveh could just barely manage a small smile. "Thanks, Cyno."

"You can talk to us if you need do. That goes for Alhaitham too. He might not seem like it, but he is worried about you."

Kaveh's brow settled into a frown, doubting Cyno's words. For whatever reason he didn't get that impression at all, but then again he'd only seen him for a moment. Maybe getting a chance to talk to him later would change his mind.

That chance would find itself later than Kaveh expected.

The sound of pages turning caught Kaveh's attention. It took him a moment to rationalize that it was real and not an echo from deep inside one of Kaveh's dreams. He figured someone was in the room with him, most likely watching over him in his sleep, the thought of which was somewhat comforting to the blond.

When he opened his eyes the room was significantly darker than earlier in the day, with only a single lamp in the room offering enough light to barely make out the contents of the room. He blinked a few times attempting to adjust his vision before an unexpected sight caught his eye.

Alhaitham sat by his side, his face buried in a book of some kind. He didn't seem to have noticed Kaveh had woken up, and Kaveh didn't want to disturb him so he decided not to say anything.

Instead, he turned his attention to his arm, which started to feel irritated by the sensation of bandages on his skin. Tighnari mentioned that Kaveh had sensitive skin, so frequent discomfort was to be expected. Still, it bothered him a lot.

Before he realized it, Kaveh was lightly picking at the bandages. He'd almost considered ripping them off to ease the sensation when a smooth baritone voice broke the peaceful late-night silence.

"You shouldn't scratch at your arm like that." Alhaitham spoke, his gaze never shifting from the book he was deeply engrossed in just a moment ago.

Kaveh blinked in silent surprise as if waiting to see if Alhaitham would say anything else, but the silence was all that remained for the next few moments.

Alhaitham then closed his book now turning his gaze to Kaveh, who felt his heart skip a beat at the sudden attention. "Does it hurt?"

It took a moment for Kaveh to register what Alhaitham asked but when he did he silently shook his head.

With a soft hum Alhaitham stood up, walking to the other side of the room where Tighnari kept all the medical supplies. Several seconds passed in silence with only the sound of miscellaneous items being shuffled around. Kaveh watched on in silence as Alhaitham returned with some bandages, gauze, disinfectant, and wipes.

When Tighnari first used them on Kaveh, the burning sensation alone was enough for him to assume that they were alcoholic, but the Forest Ranger insisted that it was his own special resin on the wipes that caused the burning. Apparently, Kaveh's own skin was too sensitive to the types of alcoholic wipes most used.

"Let me see your arm." Alhaitham said with an expression as blank and unreadable as a clear sheet of paper.

Kaveh reluctantly extended his arm allowing Alhaitham to treat him.

When Alhaitham removed the bandages Kaveh saw the first hint of emotion on his face, as a slight frown made itself present on his otherwise porcelain face.

The sight of green shards ripped Kaveh's attention from Alhaitham. They hovered near his face lighting up the room in a brilliant green that seemed to compliment him brilliantly, highlighting his features.

"I hope it's not too bright." Alhaitham's voice rang out, interrupting the silence and Kaveh's thoughts once again.

"Huh?"

"The light." he clarified, taking a moment to look up at Kaveh for a response.

Kaveh shook his head and Alhaitham resumed his work on the blond's injuries. He watched as Alhaitham skillfully and gently cleaned out his wounds, replaced the bandages, and then wrapped his arm in gauze before repeating the action on Kaveh's other arm. The green shard seemed to follow Alhaitham's every action as if he were in control of it. He had to be, right? If his asking about the light was any indicator anyway.

"How did you do that?" he asked using his free hand to point at the shard. Alhaitham took a moment to follow Kaveh's gaze before turning back to the confused blond. For the second time, Kaveh managed to identify an emotion on the stony man's face. It was one of shock and this time it didn't seem like Alhaitham made any attempt to hide his expression. "Oh wait I'm sorry, did I ask something wrong?"

"I used my vision." he replied plainly. A visible oh made itself present on Kaveh's face, but Alhaitham's scrutinizing gaze never left his face. "That shouldn't be a surprise. You have a vision too, Kaveh."

It was Kaveh's turn to be shocked, but only for a moment before confusion settled on his face. "No, I don't. I think I'd remember having something that important on me." it took him a moment to realize how ridiculous he sounded under the circumstances. When the realization struck he scrambled to correct himself. "I- I mean I might have forgotten... but visions are supposed to be important right? So if I had one then I'd know."

For a moment Alhaitham looked taken aback. He remained silent taking the time to think through what Kaveh had just said. A vision was as good to most people as an extra limb. He might not have cared much for his own but Alhaitham had been aware of the risks that came with losing a vision. Although it was not his own area of expertise, he knew some of the effects it had.

His mind attempted to list off everything he knew about the matter but he acted against it. He'd visit the House of Daena later and research more on the topic. That might yield some answers on Kaveh's current condition. For now his focus was on Kaveh who seemed to be watching him intently.

Alhaitham's expression seemed to return to neutrality which was the exact opposite reaction Kaveh was expecting. "You've forgotten a great many things. Seems easy to count this as one of them."

"No need to rub it in, you know. I'm well aware of my current situation."

The tone of Kaveh's voice sounded pleasantly familiar to Alhaitham. It was the same tone he took when barely teetering the line between sarcasm and dramatic rhetoric. He only took that tone with Alhaitham whenever he managed to get under Kaveh's skin. The simple fact that even now Kaveh managed that much almost brought a smirk to Alhaitham's face. Even without his memories, this was still Kaveh. That little assurance put Alhaitham's mind at ease, even if only for a moment.

"Then I suppose you don't need my thoughts on your situation."

Kaveh just barely managed an unintelligible groan. So far just being near Alhaitham was the most aggravating experience since first losing his memory. His mind seemed to dash from confusion to intrigue then back around to frustration.

He didn't understand why or how but Alhaitham somehow managed to cause more of a reaction within Kaveh than everything he'd been exposed to since first waking up. Perhaps it's because he didn't know Alhaitham well enough, but even then there was no shaking the strange sense of comfort he felt in the scribe's presence. Through the whirlpool of indecipherable feelings, there were two constants: comfort, and guilt.

Thinking about it, Kaveh could rationalize his way through his thought process. Comfort had to have come from familiarity, so it was likely that he and Alhaitham knew each other very well. But he didn't get this sense from the grey-haired man at all. The way Alhaitham spoke to him had Kaveh conflicted about how friendly they had really been beforehand. Tighnari and Cyno claim they were friends, but he struggled to believe that much.

What Kaveh had the hardest time rationalizing however was this getting of guilt that rose up inside him. He wasn't even sure if that was the right word for the sinking feeling in his chest every time he set eyes on Alhaitham. He felt like a burden in the man's presence, but couldn't find a single reason for his heavy heart. Why did Kaveh feel the way he did? Was it because he disturbed Alhaitham's reading? But that surely couldn't be reason enough.

"Is there something wrong?"

Alhaitham's voice pulled Kaveh out of his thoughts. After a few rapid blinks Kaveh noticed Alhaitham was back on the other side of the room, now washing his hands in a nearby basin with his back turned to him.

"No." he tried his best to mimic Alhaitham's frustratingly calm tone. "What makes you think there's a problem?"

"You think very loudly Kaveh." Alhaitham turned to face Kaveh who looked as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been. "What's on your mind? You can talk to me if something's troubling you."

Kaveh remained silent, not sure what to make of his own chaotic thoughts. It struck him that he still didn't really know much about Alhaitham. He felt intimately familiar with him but as far as his memories, he still knew next to nothing about him.

"Relax, I won't bite." Alhaitham's voice pulled Kaveh back to reality, this time finding Alhaitham sitting next to him again, with eyes on him instead of the book he'd been reading earlier. He felt himself grow slightly annoyed at Alhaitham's words, but he didn't know why.

"I find that difficult to believe." Kaveh said with a subtle eye roll. Alhaitham made no comment on the gesture but it hasn't escaped his gaze. A few seconds passed before Kaveh spoke again. "You're so difficult to talk to."

"So I've been told." Alhaitham replied simply.

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"You should know that I'm not bothered by the opinions of others."

A scoff escaped Kaveh's mouth "You speak in such an infuriating tone. I can't imagine being the person who has to deal with you every day."

"Are you implying that being around me is unpleasant?" Alhaitham asked with a hint of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was contradicting himself.

"I mean so far, yes. Somehow you've managed to aggravate me more than these bandages on my skin."

"And that's all?"

"Such a casual response... you're not even concerned about that? Are you doing this on purpose?"

Kaveh spotted a flash of relief on Alhaitham's face. "What reason do I have to go out of my way to, as you put it, aggravate you? Surely there are better uses of my time."

"If there are better uses of your time then why are you wasting it here with me?"

His expression remained stoic but Kaveh noticed the pained look in his eyes. 'Did I say something wrong? I can never tell with him.'

"Me staying here with you isn't a waste of my time. I'm here because I was worried about you."

Kaveh blinked once, then twice. He couldn't detect any sarcasm or insincerity in his tone, but something in him was inclined to disagree. "I don't believe you."

"Fine then. Believe what you must." Kaveh stared at Alhaitham in disbelief, unable to think of anything else to say in response. Alhaitham took note of his silence and decided to change the subject. "Aren't you tired?"

Kaveh shook his head but he couldn't convince himself, let alone Alhaitham. The scribe saw right through him, baggy eyes and all. "You're tired."

"I've been sleeping so much lately, it's getting old. Isn't there anything else for me to do?"

"Not while you're recovering."

"Hey I'm perfectly fine you know. No use in pitying me just because of a few scratches." Kaveh rolled his eyes and instinctively crossed his arms, wincing at the pain that shot through his body.

Alhaitham shot Kaveh a skeptical glance as he tried to play it off. "Perfectly fine you say?"

"Yeah I'm fine, it just hurts a little."

"If you say so." Alhaitham settled back into the chair next to Kaveh's bed and picked up the book he was reading earlier. In a simple moment everything had returned to the quiet calm he'd experienced when he woke up.

The two of them sat in silence for the next few minutes with only the sound of pages turning as Alhaitham continued reading. Somehow this felt natural to Kaveh, like he had done this a million times before. At this point he felt his hands becoming restless as he felt like something was missing. Maybe he needed a book of his own, or perhaps a gadget to tinker around with. Anything to help keep his mind distracted instead of spiraling into an emotional whirlpool.

Kaveh took a deep breath and softly called Alhaitham's name, hoping he wasn't being a nuisance. Alhaitham stopped reading but didn't turn his full attention to Kaveh until a few silent moments passed. Kaveh wanted to meet his gaze and Alhaitham picked up on this fact in a matter of seconds.

When Alhaitham's sharp turquoise eyes met Kaveh's weary carmine ones his breath hitched in his throat. "Yes?" Alhaitham's inquisitive tone caused Kaveh to freeze up momentarily.

"Thank you for being here. It feels less lonely with you around."

Alhaitham's eyes betrayed his expression yet again as that same pained look returned. His shoulders seemed to also tense up and it looked as though Alhaitham was holding something back. Perhaps a biting comment or even a scoff at Kaveh's words. The scribe's frame appeared to shudder as he broke away from Kaveh's gaze. "Don't mention it." he responded, his voice sounding somewhat strained.

'Again, he's so difficult to read. I really have to watch what I say around him.'

Chapter Text

"I live with Alhaitham? Tighnari please tell me you're joking." Kaveh sighed, looking up at the Forest Ranger who assisted the blond as he slowly put his shoes on.

It had been a week since Kaveh was first discovered, 4 days since Alhaitham came to help take care of Kaveh, a day since Tighnari said he's recovered well enough to go home, and yet he was just learning about this now? Either he didn't have the sense to ask beforehand or Kaveh was incredibly forgetful.

'He couldn't possibly be that dense.'

"I'm pretty sure we spoke about this yesterday Kaveh. Have you forgotten already?"

'Ah, of course, Tighnari would not neglect to mention something like that. Kaveh is just forgetful.' Alhaitham thought to himself as he watched Kaveh scrambling to prepare to leave.

A prickly ache made its presence known in his chest, pulling Alhaitham's attention away from Kaveh as he fought to contain his desire to cough. He knew he couldn't contain it forever, but Alhaitham had learned to minimize the frequency of his coughing fits. He just needed to control his breathing, and eventually, the need to expel the contents of his throat would subside. Just steady breathing was all he needed, but he knew it was just a temporary fix.

"What? I don't remember that. And even if it is true, what could've possessed me to want to live with him of all people."

Tighnari cocked his eyebrow, his amusement showing clearly on his face. "You act like you've known him for ages. Are you sure your memories haven't returned?"

"Yes, I'm sure! I'm just saying that living with him has got to be insufferable. He's already been getting on my nerves just talking to him!"

"Oh?" Tighnari shot Alhaitham a glance, noticing that he didn't seem to be paying much attention to the conversation. A rare sight, as he often took every opportunity he could to lay a dig into the architect's ego when Kaveh got worked up this way.

Tighnari offered Kaveh a lighthearted smile and gently rubbed his shoulder "I'm sure you'll be fine. You've survived this long already." Kaveh let out a low mumble, clearly still bothered by what he had just learned about his living situation. "I'll be sure to stop by and visit, so you won't have to be stuck alone together all the time."

"Really?" Kaveh perked up at the suggestion.

"Sure. That's okay with you, right Alhaitham?"

Alhaitham, who had been lost in carefully controlled thought, snapped his head to Tighnari's attention. It only took one look at him for Alhaitham to understand what needed to be done.

He offered a simple nod, being careful not to itch his throat more as he moved. The little nuances in his movements went unnoticed by Kaveh who still seemed doubtful about the situation, but Tighnari noticed them.

He could easily sense he wasn't well. After Cyno had brought it up Tighnari became aware of the scribe's slightly labored breathing, his tense posture, his reluctance to speak, and the slight rasp in his voice when he did.

Alhaitham felt Tighnari's gaze linger on him longer than expected but he didn't let his facade falter. Eventually, Tighnari returned his attention to Kaveh, helping him gather the last of his stuff, as well as running him through his medication and treatment. Alhaitham paid close attention, noting all he would need to take note of.

How much Kaveh was supposed to eat, when to take his medicine, how much he was allowed to strain himself, and what to do if he felt any kind of pain. As for his memory, while still uncertain Tighnari at least had a suggestion for him:

"Try to write down anything notable. Any dreams you might have, any memories that might resurface, and anything that might leave an impression on you."

Alhaitham nodded while listening as if Tighnari was speaking to him. 'I should have a spare notebook for him to use.'

Kaveh took Tighnari's advice to heart, thanking the Forest Ranger. His gaze shifted around the room, stopping on Alhaitham for a moment before turning back to Tighnari "I haven't seen Cyno around lately. Is he okay?"

Tighnari shrugged, his calm expression faltering for a moment "He's out on an assignment. The General Mahamatra is quite the busy figure."

"Ah, right..." Kaveh fell silent, Alhaitham caught a glimpse of Kaveh looking in his direction but decided not to pay him any mind. He already knew why he'd captured the blond's curiosity this time. After all, he'd quite literally spent all his time in Gandharva Ville since first learning about Kaveh's condition. He sometimes helped Tighnari with random errands but he clearly wasn't a Forest Ranger. He hardly left the hut where Kaveh stayed but when he did he simply wandered around the general area taking walks. It must have seemed as if Alhaitham had nothing else to do with his time.

Alhaitham shook off his observation and focused his attention on Kaveh. If he'd wanted answers, Kaveh would simply have to ask him.

Kaveh gathered everything he'd need in a small satchel and walked towards Alhaitham who stood with his arms crossed feigning impatience. "Are you ready to go now?"

Kaveh nodded wearily, turning to wave Tighnari goodbye one last time before walking out of the tent, expecting Alhaitham to follow behind him.

"Alhaitham..." Tighnari called out to the scribe who answered with a questioning gaze. "I won't ask since it seems you don't want to talk about it yet, but don't forget to take care of yourself as well."

It seemed, for a moment at least, that Tighnari might've known what was wrong. Alhaitham considered asking Tighnari about it, but his desire to return to his home outweighed whatever urgency his body might've screamed out for. He offered a noncommittal nod and a somewhat dismissive wave.

"I'll be sure to visit the Birmastan when I get the chance. Goodbye."

When Alhaitham stepped out of the hut he was met with a somewhat distant-looking Kaveh. His eyes seemed far off into the distance, almost as if he were reminiscing on simpler times.

It was the first time Alhaitham had seen the blond outside in a considerable amount of time. Putting aside his and Kaveh's respective business trips, their daily routine had devolved into barely acknowledging each other in the morning and being too tired to go out after work. Between bitter arguments, silent gestures of kindness, and barely addressed tension, the two of them had rarely found the time to simply exist in each other's company the way they were doing now.

The sun shone brightly, highlighting the various shades of green that made up the forest. The serene sounds of nature meet the bustling activity that many of the forest's wildlife brought with them. It was a shame that Kaveh wasn't the same man who'd appreciate such a picturesque scene. The aesthetic beauty was lost on Alhaitham, but not even the scribe could fail to appreciate the way the midday sun highlighted Kaveh's rose-tinted cheeks, or how his carmine eyes seemed to spark in the light, or even how the wind seemed to entice Kaveh's untied and somewhat unkempt hair to dance with Sumeru's winds.

Alhaitham could feel his chest tighten at the sight which he took as a sign to begin walking. As he brushed past the architect, Kaveh blinked his way back to attention. Hastily following behind the grey-haired man.

Silence followed the two men as they made the trip towards Sumeru city, Alhaitham walking slightly ahead of Kaveh to lead the way. While this silence and pace were natural for Alhaitham, Kaveh couldn't help but feel uneasy.

The path of Sumeru city was clearly marked and encountering enemies on the road in broad daylight was highly unlikely, so it was bound to be an uneventful trek back to the city. Alhaitham could practically feel Kaveh's gaze shift all around him, taking in the sights as they walked. It wasn't particularly remarkable, but to someone with no recollection of what should've been a familiar path, Alhaitham understood Kaveh's excitement.

Although the fringes of curiosity had begun to echo in Alhaitham's mind once more, and so he decided to break the silence between the two.

"Do you recognize anything around here?"

Kaveh stopped momentarily, watching as Alhaitham continued walking with abandon. He quickly glanced around before rushing toward the scribe. "N-no I don't. It feels like I should but nothing comes to mind. Just a dull ache in my head."

Alhaitham stopped walking, allowing Kaveh to catch up to him. "Would you like to take a rest?"

"I think I'll be fine. It doesn't feel particularly serious." Kaveh said, unbeknownst to him how that answer would upset Alhaitham, the junior tensing up as his expression turned blank.

Alhaitham had long since familiarized himself with Kaveh's tendency to dismiss any and all discomfort until it would inevitably catch up with him. He often put himself after his work, forcing Alhaitham to have to watch and ask Kaveh whittled himself down to a husk at the end of whatever project he would've been working on at the time. As a result, Alhaitham had become rather averse to his roommate's tendency to disregard any signs that he might be unwell.

"I'm fine."

"Just a little tired."

"It's nothing to fret over."

"I'll be okay once I finish this draft."

It was a cycle that often, much to the scribe's dismay resulted in Kaveh being sick and having to spend whatever little free time he had between projects recovering before launching himself back into his work. It was a sight he hated, but he had no way to stop it.

Alhaitham had become aware of how unnaturally he reacted to Kaveh's response when the latter called out his name, his tone laced with hesitation and concern. "Did I say something wrong?"

Alhaitham turned his back toward Kaveh and began walking again, leading him along the path "You've asked me that several times this past week. Is there any reason for it?"

"Because I don't understand you. Because you're difficult to read. Because I'd rather not cross the person I'll be living with if I can help it. Which answer would you prefer?"

Alhaitham seemed to scoff at Kaveh's response but made no effort to hide the smirk on his face, not that Kaveh could've seen it. If he didn't know any better he'd have sworn that this was the same old Kaveh. "I'd prefer you not to walk on eggshells around me. It will only make us living together more difficult."

Kaveh crossed his arms, his wildly emotional tone of voice a contrast to Alhaitham's controlled manner of speech. "Forgive me for not knowing what to do in your presence."

"Are you sure you aren't familiar with me? I'd be hard-pressed to believe it with how upset you become after I've barely spoken a word."

"I- that's..." Kaveh fell silent as though he was thinking through a response. "I don't know."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know why, I just feel confrontational whenever I speak with you. It feels natural for some reason."

"Hm. I see."

"That's it? Shouldn't you get mad or upset or even curious? Is it natural to feel confrontational towards a person you don't know?"

"You are a very emotional man Kaveh. It's no surprise that you feel so strongly towards any potential triggers. This may even help aid you in restoring your memories. If we can identify what causes a strong emotional reaction in you, perhaps you might be able to glean something from it."

"Triggers? Is that to say you're a trigger for me?"

"Perhaps."

At that, Kaveh fell silent again. Alhaitham continued leading Kaveh as they entered Sumeru city. The streets of Sumeru were lit up in a beautiful shade of orange, a sign that the sun was about to set. As the two of them made their way through the city, Kaveh resisted the urge to wander around and lose himself in the amazing sight.

"Alhaitham..." Kaveh's voice brought the scribe to a halt, and while Alhaitham did not turn to face him Kaveh could tell he was listening. He'd grown accustomed to how Alhaitham would pause whatever action he was engaged in when Kaveh called for him. This made conversing with the man somewhat easier. However, this was partially because Alhaitham himself made his signature 'tells' a lot easier for Kaveh to pick up on. His silence stretched out for longer, his head tilted ever so slightly in Kaveh's direction, his posture would change, and his gaze would shift closer to the architect even when no eye contact was given. Alhaitham was not in the business of changing his habits, but he was open to accommodating Kaveh's needs. "I'm feeling a little lightheaded. How close to hom- uh, your house are we?"

Alhaitham's gaze seemed to shift to a building a few feet ahead of them. It seemed to be bustling with life as several groups of people occupied the tables around the building and an even larger group seemed to be inside. It was fitting for this time of day. Lambad's tavern was a very popular dining spot in Sumeru, especially on off days like today when not many people were working.

"Are you hungry or do you need to sit down?" Alhaitham asked, now turning to face Kaveh.

"Just food is alright."

"Very well. Follow me."

Kaveh cautiously followed after Alhaitham as he walked toward the tavern, navigating to the barkeep with a familiarity that suggests he'd been here several times before.

When Lambad notices the two he offers a wave with a smile on his face as they approach.

"Haven't seen you two around lately, and together no less. What brings you here tonight?"

"Just picking up some food to go. Two servings of Fatteh please." Alhaitham noticed a slight smirk forming on Lambad's expression at the mention of Kaveh's favorite dish, but he made no mention of it and simply gave a quick nod before turning away, leaving behind Alhaitham and a very flustered-looking Kaveh. "How do you feel?"

It took a moment for Kaveh to realize Alhaitham was speaking to him, his eyes darting around the room watching all the people around them going about their night with a sort of carefree revelry that came with the early flood of Sumeru's nightlife. "Oh.. oh me? I feel... very overwhelmed."

"Hm." Alhaitham could tell that much. 

"Do you come here a lot?" his voice was soft, almost like what one would expect from a timid child.

"No, but you frequented this place quite often." Alhaitham said sharply, expecting a temperamental reaction from Kaveh.

"Did I really? What you're saying doesn't sound wrong..."

Alhaitham's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He'd noted how often Kaveh seemed to rely on feeling when asked any sort of question. It wasn't anything unusual for the man under normal circumstances, but given his current state Alhaitham decided it would be wise to take note of Kaveh's reactions. If nothing else it would help make dealing with him much easier.

The scribe lamented having to yet again adjust his routine to deal with Kaveh. Disturbances to his simple, straightforward way of living were an annoyance to say the least, but it was to be expected. When Alhaitham invited Kaveh to live with him he'd guessed that Kaveh would bring unwarranted excitement into his life. This was to be expected.

What wasn't to be expected was a familiar, annoying voice echoing from behind the two men. The mere sound of the voice frustrated the otherwise calm scribe, as he reluctantly turned to face the source of his frustration.

"Dori." Alhaitham spoke with a curt nod, unwilling to entertain her antics tonight of all nights. Not now when he already has to deal with navigating around Kaveh and his problems.

"What do we have here? It seems I caught my two favorite customers at a good time." Dori let out her signature mischievous laugh, which only served to annoy Alhaitham more. "I wouldn't happen to be disturbing anyone, would I?"

Dori's gaze seemed to linger on Kaveh for a little too long. Alhaitham followed it to find Kaveh staring at the unassuming con artist with an indecipherable expression, tense shoulders, and clenched fists at his side.

"Do you need something?" Alhaitham's tone was sharp, leaving no room for small talk.

"Oh you know, just checking in. Seems a lot of people are here today. Must be a lot of mora to spend this time of month."

Kaveh's expression seemed to grow more and more complicated, the exact opposite of Alhaitham who managed to retain his carefully controlled demeanor, despite his rising irritation. Her intentions were obvious. She'd only ever approach them for matters concerning mora.

'Why now of all times?'

Alhaitham lightly tapped Kaveh's knee, attracting the blond's attention. "When the food gets here tell Lambad to put it on my tab, then meet me outside okay?"

Kaveh nodded stiffly, his eyes flashing with nervousness and uncertainty. Alhaitham may not be the best at reading emotions, but he knew Kaveh well enough to tell. Even when the blond tried (and often failed) to restrain his emotions, he knew how to identify Kaveh's nuances rather well. Though he'd never admit the sense of pride it fills him with to know he could understand his senior so well.

Alhaitham asked to speak to Dori in private, leading her out of the tavern. Leaving Kaveh alone might not have been the best option, but his discomfort in Dori's presence was more than apparent. He wouldn't mind poking and prodding at Kaveh's triggers to observe what made him tick, but not tonight. In all honesty, Alhaitham was feeling particularly tired. He wanted nothing more than to return home and jump into bed, catching up on a book he'd abandoned while out on his desert excursion.

When the cool air hit Alhaitham he savored the momentary calm that came with the quieter atmosphere. Most people who were outside dining earlier had left, making this a much better place to have a chat with Dori.

"To what do I owe the pleasure? It's rare to get the Akademiya hotshot's personal attention." Dori teased, only to be met with silence.

He didn't dignify her with a response but instead reached into his pocket only to pull out a small bag of mora. Without much thought, he threw the bag in Dori's direction and crossed his arms.

Dori caught it, passing it between her hands and lightly playing around with it as though it were a ball of some kind. "Oho, such a heavy bag. As expected from you of course, but I haven't even shown you my stock yet."

"I'm not buying anything from you. It's that time of the month, no? Surely that will cover the cost." Dori smiled mischievously, greedily eying the bag of mora.

She hardly ever made her presence known to them unless she wanted information from Alhaitham or, more commonly, it was time for Kaveh's monthly payment. His debt hung over his head, forever weighing on his shoulder. There were many times he thought to ask Kaveh if the Palace of Alcazarzaray was worth the trouble, but the answer would always be the same regardless. It was his magnum opus after all.

"Paying off others' debts now are we? My, are the rumors about you two true after all?"

"Are you accepting the mora or not? I've no time to waste on idle chatter nor meaningless gossip." the irritation in Alhaitham's tone betrayed his ever-stoic expression.

She sighed and put the bag in her own pocket. Alhaitham had to wonder how much her little pockets could store but was nowhere near interested enough to want to investigate. "This is fine, yes, but it's nowhere near as satisfying coming from you instead of Kaveh. But mora is mora, there's no arguing that."

"Then I believe this is the end of this transaction. Goodbye."

Just then the door to the tavern opened and Kaveh walked out carrying the bag of food they'd ordered. He froze immediately upon seeing Dori, his grip on the bag tightening enough to make one worry for the safety of the food in it.

"I guess that's my cue to leave then." Dori said as she turned to wave, sparing Kaveh another glance "Goodbye for now. Though we'll be seeing each other again very soon, right Kaveh? My favorite architect."

As the two of them watched Dori walk away Alhaitham heard Kaveh let out a sigh of relief. "Um, Alhaitham, who was that?" Kaveh's voice was shaky. It was likely that Dori acted as one of his triggers, and Alhaitham could easily guess what emotions seeing Dori stirred up within him. Frankly, he wasn't up to deal with any of it. Not now.

He began walking, his pace starting off slow so as to allow Kaveh to catch up once he realized Alhaitham had no intention of answering his question.

"Alhaitham?"

"The road home is short and straightforward from here. It's best we not waste too much more time."

Chapter Text

Alhaitham's first destination of the day was the Birmastan, the renowned medical facility of Sumeru. He briskly made his way through the quiet morning streets, navigating the path with practiced ease. The scent of Mourning Flowers lingered around him, a constant reminder of the ailment that now haunted him.

Entering the Birmastan, Alhaitham approached the reception desk, where a receptionist greeted him with a polite smile. "How may I assist you today?"

"I need to see a doctor," Alhaitham replied, his voice betraying none of the turmoil within.

"Of course. May I inquire about the reason for your visit?"

Alhaitham hesitated for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I have been experiencing some unusual symptoms. I would like a thorough examination."

The receptionist nodded, typing information into the system. "Doctor Yasmine is available for consultations. I'll schedule an appointment for you. Please proceed to the waiting area."

Alhaitham acknowledged the instructions and headed to the designated waiting area, where the subdued hum of conversation among patients filled the air. He took a seat, his mind occupied with the upcoming consultation and the unsettling revelations about his own condition. 'I'll just get this done, go to the house of Daena, then make it back home before Kaveh wakes up.'

After a brief wait, a nurse called his name, leading him to the examination room. Doctor Yasmine, a skilled practitioner known for her expertise, awaited him with a warm yet professional demeanor.

"Good morning, Mr. Alhaitham. What brings you here today?" Dr. Yasmine inquired.

Alhaitham took a moment before responding. "I've been experiencing some unusual symptoms. Persistent coughing, difficulty breathing... and a peculiar scent of Mourning Flowers."

Dr. Yasmine listened attentively, her eyes focused on Alhaitham. She proceeded with a series of examinations, checking his vitals and asking detailed questions about his symptoms. As the examination progressed, Alhaitham couldn't shake the feeling that he was dancing around the real issue.

After concluding the initial assessment, Dr. Yasmine maintained her professional composure. "Mr. Alhaitham, I have to ask, do you perhaps have any romantic interest in life?"

The sudden question caused Alhaitham's voice to get caught in his throat. Unable to immediately respond, he instead shook his head. The doctor offered a skeptical gaze, but decided not to press the issue. "Your symptoms are synonymous with a disease known as Hanahaki."

Alhaitham paused, contemplating his response. "What exactly is it?"

The doctor responded calmly and professionally "It's a condition that tends to unfold gradually over time. It commences with the expulsion of a few petals through coughing and progresses in terms of both intensity and discomfort." There was a pause in the room, as if to see if Alhaitham had any questions. "It's a response to one's unrequited love, and it is crucial to note that if left untreated, Hanahaki Disease can be fatal."

...

Alhaitham, his mind clouded with the revelation of the mysterious affliction that plagued him, decided to take a solitary walk in the fading light. The city's usual late morning buzz echoed around him as the citizens of Sumeru began their day, unconcerned with the scribe's troubles. The cacophony of the city buzzed around him, a stark contrast to the quiet solitude he usually sought.

His steps were deliberate, the concrete beneath his shoes echoing with each footfall as he navigated through the city's labyrinthine streets. The walk was familiar, comforting, and deliberate. Alhaitham's mind, however, was far from the serene, simple walk he found himself taking. He had a plan for that day, a routine he was set on following despite the unfortunate revelation.

First he'd go to the Birmastan and figure out what's wrong with him, then he'd go to the House of Daena and look into his condition, and perhaps even research the history of Inazuma's 'Vision Hunt Decree'. 

But before raiding the House of Daena and taking several books home, he would need to apply for leave. Usually no one would bat an eye to the scribe missing a day of work, but Alhaitham had no intention of leaving Kaveh unattended for so long on a daily basis- even leaving him alone now was a risk. But Kaveh should be asleep. If he was fast enough Alhaitham should make it home before he awakens, without incident and with a new issue to worry about.

Hanahaki disease. The term echoed in his thoughts like an unsolvable riddle. He couldn't fathom the idea that his own body would betray him in such a manner. Love was an abstract concept, an emotion he had long kept at bay, viewing it as a distraction from the pursuit of knowledge and personal solitude.

As he walked, he mulled over the potential triggers for such a condition. Who could be the cause of this unexpected turmoil within him? Alhaitham was not blind to the world around him; he knew there were individuals who admired him, respected him even, but love? It seemed inconceivable.

His mind wandered to Kaveh, the recovering architect who seemed to have lost a part of himself. Could Kaveh be connected to this strange affliction? Alhaitham's thoughts weaved through a complex tapestry of emotions, memories, and the unsettling notion that perhaps his own feelings were tangled in this web.

If his friends found out, Tighnari and Cyno would certainly point to Kaveh being the cause. Alhaitham was often teased and chided for his refusal to accept that perhaps he might still feel something for Kaveh. His feelings toward the architect were complex, but Alhaitham refused to acknowledge them. After all, he can't have himself fall for such a condition.

Loving Kaveh... he knew he harbored feelings of affection toward him, but emotion wasn't Alhaitham's strong point. He was stoic, logical, and rational. Surely he should be able to find a solution. But he had no answer... none at all. Alhaitham knew many languages; he was a man of very few words usually, but his encyclopedic levels of knowledge weren't even able to suggest any way forward. For the first time in a long while, Alhaitham felt lost.

He found himself at Razan Garden, a secluded spot overlooking the sprawling cityscape. Being the highest point openly accessible to every student of The Akademiya, it was the first place Alhaitham thought to come to. Despite being open to the public, people rarely populated it at this time of day.

Alhaitham took a seat on one of the stone benches in the area; the cool surface of the concrete provided a stark contrast to the warmth of the mid-summer sunlight.

His gaze fixated on the skyline, his thoughts running rampant as a noticeable tightness in his chest flared up again. He took a few breaths, trying to take in the peaceful environment around him as a distraction. It was in this quiet solitude that Alhaitham allowed himself a moment of vulnerability, a rare instance where he confronted the complexity of his own emotions.

"I never asked for this," he muttered to the endless cityscape before him, his voice carried away by the urban breeze. "Love was never meant to be a part of my life."

Yet, as he uttered those words, a pang of guilt lingered beneath the surface. Did he truly believe that love was an unwelcome intruder, or was it a shield he had constructed to protect himself from the uncertainties of human connection?

Lost in his contemplation, Alhaitham failed to notice the low pitter-patter of approaching footsteps until a familiar voice cut through the city's symphony.

"Alhaitham."

He turned to find Cyno standing a few paces away, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity. The general's keen eyes caught the subtle signs of Alhaitham's internal struggle.

"Are you alright?" Cyno asked, the genuine worry evident in his voice.

"When did you get back?" Alhaitham deflected, turning the focus on Cyno who now stood a few feet away from him.

"I returned from the Chasm last night. I thought I would find you at home or in your office, but you're here instead." Cyno crossed his arms; his expression was serious, as expected from a general. A heavy silence followed for several seconds before Cyno repeated his opening question.

Alhaitham hesitated before responding, choosing his words with a precision that betrayed the weight of his thoughts. "I am."

Cyno's expression remained unchanging, and for a moment Alhaitham felt like he was under interrogation. Perhaps the heavy gaze emanating from Cyno was the reason so many fear him as the General. "Alhaitham." Cyno's voice carried a weight that made it clear he wanted more concrete answers from Alhaitham. He wasn't here to entertain the stoic deflections of the scribe.

Alhaitham broke away from Cyno's gaze, clearing his throat before amending his earlier response. "I'm as well as one can be considering... everything."

Cyno took a seat on the bench next to the scribe, his gaze never leaving Alhaitham. "Dare I ask?"

It was a meaningless question. Cyno already knew. Alhaitham could see it in Cyno's expression and hear it in his tone. He wasn't asking because he didn't know; he was asking for confirmation. Alhaitham let out a heavy sigh, turning his gaze away from his friend once more. "I'm sick- no, dying actually. Hanahaki disease."

"I figured." He responded simply.

"You what?"

Cyno let out a soft hum in response, choosing to ignore the dark choice of words his friend used in this situation, "I'm no doctor, but I had my suspicions."

Alhaitham sighed, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. "What gave it away?"

Cyno fell silent for a moment, debating between giving a serious response and attempting to lighten the mood. "The scent of Flowers that never seems to leave you was the first clue. Your awful coughs in the forest were the second. Though if I'm being honest, Tighnari posed the theory first."

"I see." Alhaitham mumbled. He should've known that Cyno would catch on, in fact, he had expected it. But he didn't think he would've noticed so soon. For a moment he wondered if Kaveh might have noticed, before the loss of his memory.

"At first, I thought it was because of Kaveh but... well, I guess it is, just not the way I expected." Cyno's tone was a little lighter, as if holding back a joke or comment.

Alhaitham shot Cyno a speculative gaze, feeling the vines in his chest tighten in response. "What makes you think that Kaveh is the cause?"

"Just a hunch." Cyno said with a subtle smile. "You know, if your stolen glances and subtle smiles you shared were something to go by."

"Your hunch is very much mistaken." Alhaitham responded, unable to hide the twinges of denial in his voice.

"But the truth of the matter is plain as day. If it weren't the case you wouldn't try deflect the way you are now." Cyno crossed his arms again but relaxed his posture and allowed his serious expression to break away. "So, are you finally gonna admit we were right? Or will you keep trying to deny the truth about how you feel?"

A bitter smile tugged at the corners of Alhaitham's lips. "Truths are often inconvenient but unshakable. Even if I wanted to deny it, that won't make this go away. This is foolish, illogical... even I understand that much." Alhaitham's voice cracked at the end, his tone shifting to a softer, gentler, more broken touch.

"Perhaps," Cyno acknowledged, "but that's just how you feel, even your body is trying to get you to see that fact."

Alhaitham scoffed. "Emotions and fact often run contradictory to each other. They only make things more complicated... I see no reason to indulge this feeling."

Cyno's eyes popped wide open, his eyes glinting with disbelief. Alhaitham was known for his fast-cutting deflections, but the outright refusal of the facts in front of him... This was new for Alhaitham. "Feelings are a part of us, and it's irrational to bite them back and pretend they don't exist. Accepting them is the first step to understanding and, ultimately, overcoming."

Alhaitham regarded Cyno with a hint of surprise. The general's words held a wisdom that resonated with the scribe, and he found solace in the camaraderie that unexpectedly blossomed between them.

"One would think you were a first-year Haravatat scholar, speaking like that." Alhaitham chided.

"It's more practical to have a few cards for dice-conversion in your deck." Cyno uttered the metaphor casually. "That's a line from King of Invocations, in case you were wondering."

"I figured..."

Silence fell between the two yet again, but it was far from uncomfortable. It allowed Alhaitham some time to think. To sort through his messy head and rationalize the situation.

His diagnosis wasn't the worst it could've been. He still had time to figure out a solution. Maybe he would bare his heart out to Kaveh, but there was the issue of his memory. That wasn't the Kaveh he knew; he felt almost foul for having that thought, his chest twisting a desperate ache, reminding him of his situation. It was Kaveh, that hadn't changed. Kaveh still inhabited his being, even without his memories.

Putting that aside, there was also another option the doctor offered him. A desperate, but effective way to deal with his sickness. But it was an option he didn't want to take.

...

"There is one other way to treat the disease." The doctor paused, noticing how Alhaitham grew tense at the mention of that. "We could perform a surgery to remove the roots growing in your lungs, effectively killing off the disease in your body."

Alhaitham rose to his feet, straining to keep his tone steady and consistent "Why didn't you mention this sooner?"

"Because it comes with an unfortunate and permanent side effect. When the roots are surgically removed, so are the victim's feelings of love." The doctor paused, watching to see if Alhaitham had any particularly strong reaction to the information as people often did. When she could confirm he was still carefully listening she continued. "In some cases, this also removes their memories of the former beloved, or the victim's ability to ever love again. Often it can lead to far worse psychological effects, especially if the patient comes into contact with the object of their affection."

...

"Alhaitham," Cyno pulled the thoughtful scribe out of his thoughts.

"Yes?" Alhaitham's voice was unintentionally soft.

"There's something we discovered in the chasm," Cyno spoke, his eyes reflecting the distant echoes of the churning abyss they had explored.

Alhaitham's gaze sharpened, curiosity mingling with the shadows of his own uncertainties. "What did you find?"

Cyno hesitated, his expression revealing a conflict of choices. "It seems that Kaveh was kidnapped and had his vision taken away from him. It's looking like he was caught in a vision trafficking ring, but the few people associated with it haven't said a word yet."

"The General Mahamatra shouldn't give away information mid-investigation," Alhaitham said matter-of-factly.

"You're right, but I wanted to let you know."

Alhaitham gazed at him silently, thinking that he must've misheard. Cyno was not one to put personal sentiment before his own work, at least, that's what Alhaitham believed anyway. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to assure you that we will find a way through this. Words of comfort do little for you, so information seemed like the best option."

The scribe's brow furrowed, but he respected Cyno's judgment. "A wasted effort, but understandable."

"How's Kaveh doing?" Cyno asked, electing to change the subject.

Alhaitham let out an exhausted sigh. "About what you'd expect. He spent the whole night trying to find something to trigger his memory. He almost turned that room upside down- very loudly might I add."

"I see." Cyno said, biting back a smile. "That's all he did?"

Alhaitham nodded in response. "Truth be told, he did the same every night until you showed up yesterday. Tighnari considered restraining him to the bed to stop Kaveh from ransacking the room." Alhaitham's eyes exposed his shock, even if he tried to hide it. Cyno noticed and continued speaking. "He also recognized you immediately. That didn't happen with Tighnari and me."

Alhaitham remained silent while processing this new information. He felt himself slipping back into his thoughts before stopping himself. "He has an easier time talking to you two."

"That's nothing new... which reminds me," Cyno stood up as if preparing to leave. "Tighnari wanted to know if we can stop by your place on Friday night."

"That should be fine." Alhaitham accepted, seeing no real reason to deny that simple request.

Cyno offered a nod, his expression turning serious despite the small smile that played on his lips. "Then see you on Friday. And in the meantime, be sure to take care of Kaveh. From what Tighnari said his memory is much more problematic than your average patient."

Alhaitham furrowed his brow. "Why's that? He's been just as expected so far."

"Really?" Cyno's expression was difficult for the scribe to read. "I see. Hopefully, things don't get more complicated."

"What do you mean by that?" Alhaitham asked curiously.

"Nothing. Just... be patient with him okay? I understand that this is not your specialty but I'm sure you understand."

Arriving at the House of Daena, Alhaitham entered the vast library, a realm of knowledge that had been his sanctuary for countless hours. The librarian at the entrance recognized him and offered a polite nod, acknowledging his regular presence.

Alhaitham proceeded to the section on medical texts, selecting a variety of volumes that might shed light on the peculiar ailment he faced. He delved into the writings of ancient scholars, seeking any mention or reference to Hanahaki disease. The library's tranquil ambiance provided a stark contrast to the chaos within him.

He only intended to quickly pick up some files to take home but before he knew it hours passed as Alhaitham immersed himself in research, uncovering fragments of information that hinted at the mystical nature of Hanahaki. This was not only a physical manifestation but also entwined with the ethereal forces governing the world of Teyvat.

Frustrated by the lack of concrete answers, Alhaitham closed the books with a heavy sigh. He felt the weight of the knowledge he sought eluding him as if obscured by an ancient script he couldn't decipher.

A disease spawned from unrequited love or detached affection... it almost felt like a sick joke. It should've just remained as Deyha presented it; a fairy-tale disease lost in old stories. Why did it have to be real? Why did he have to have it? Why was he forced to endure the biting pain tugging at his lungs and throat?

'Why did it have to be me?'

Chapter Text

The persistent knocks on the door echoed through Kaveh's mind like distant thunder. He stood frozen, uncertainty gripping him like invisible chains. A cascade of questions flooded his thoughts, each one a piece of a puzzle he couldn't complete. His surroundings seemed foreign, his own existence like a riddle he couldn't solve.

He was still blinking away sleep and his head was still foggy. He found himself staring at the door for an unknown amount of time. He should open the door but then who would he find on the other side? He tried to think of possible faces but the more he thought about it the foggier his head became. He knew that he should know some people but his head couldn't come up with any answer. He tried to recall any faces but he couldn't remember any. The more he tried to think the worse his memory seemed to be. Then again, it's not like his memory worked in his favor now of all times.

Another knock, louder this time, jolted him into action. Slowly, he approached the door, every step weighed down by the burden of his fractured memory. 'It's fine.' he thought to himself 'I'll just see who's on the other side and deal with it then.' Kaveh tried to reason with himself.

'What if it's a criminal? But would a criminal even knock? Okay, it might be a friend. But then what do I say? Do I even know anybody that would be here? Hmm... I should... I think'

With a deep breath, he swung the door open to reveal a tall, grey-haired man with bags in hand, and a neutral expression on his face. One bag seemed to hold an abundance of books and papers while the other was harder to identify.

Alhaitham stared at Kaveh expectantly for a few moments before entering the house, moving to the center of the living room placing his bags on the table. "I brought some food if you're hungry." he said nonchalantly. His movements were smooth and deliberate, a sign that he was at the very least comfortable here. Makes sense given it was Alhaitham's house after all. He stares at Kaveh for a moment, noting to himself that the blond still hadn't said anything.

Kaveh observed Alhaitham's actions with a furrowed brow. A flicker of recognition tried to surface, but it remained just out of reach. He recognized his voice, his looks, his expression, his gaze, his presence... Kaveh knew that he recognized the person in front of him. So why was he drawing a blank now?

"Kaveh?" Alhaitham prodded, noting how Kaveh seemed to stare daggers into him. This was new. Not the expression Kaveh had, but the fact that Kaveh of all people would wear that expression on his face.

It was the same look that new students had when first encountered the scribe. It was the look eremites had when Alhaitham appeared out of thin air, cornering them in the middle of their schemes. It was the same look the Traveler and their companion gave him when they first met in Port Ormos.

A moment of realization dawned on the scribe. Kaveh's behavior was odd and unexpected, but Alhaitham might know the cause. It was a long shot, but he had a hypothesis he needed to test. "Kaveh, who am I?" he asked calmly, expecting a simple if not baffled response. Kaveh knew who Alhaitham was. He had to. But all Alhaitham got in return was a blank expression in a room quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

"You don't remember me, do you?" Alhaitham's question hung in the air, heavy with a mix of speculative certainty and curiosity. The question surprised both men in the room, but for very different reasons. It made no sense for Alhaitham to even suggest that much. He lived with Kaveh and even without his memory Kaveh had spent enough time together over the last few days to at least recognize him. It was a strange suggestion, seemingly out of nowhere, and yet...

Tighnari's words came to mind "...almost as if his mind is actively removing any memories associated with the most central parts of his personality."

After all, what Kaveh currently had was not amnesia- that was just a convenient term to use in this situation. With all the warnings Cyno and Tighnari threw his way Alhaitham expected some odd twist in Kaveh's behavior, but he wasn't quite ready for this in particular.

Kaveh's bewildered eyes flitted away, avoiding the penetrating gaze of Alhaitham. "I-I'm sorry, I know I should- I feel like I should, but I-" Kaveh's voice faltered, a stream of apologies trailing off into an uncertain void. 

"Kaveh, look at me," Alhaitham's voice cut through the architect's thoughts, a command delivered with a steady assurance. Kaveh hesitated, torn between the impulse to retreat into the labyrinth of his own mind and the commanding presence that urged him to surface.

"I'm sorry," Kaveh repeated, filling Alhaitham with a sense of concern uncommon to him. It was then that the scribe noticed it. Kaveh was tense, his voice shaky, and there was a thin layer of sweat forming on his forehead.

Alhaitham knew a great many things, but he was particularly clueless in this case. He'd dealt with Kaveh's many eccentricities before but this wasn't anything he had any experience with. He almost wished that he could just drag Kaveh back to Gandharva Ville and have Tighnari deal with him, but the thought felt almost selfish to him. 'Maybe dragging him from Lambad's wasn't the worst thing I've ever dealt with.'

Alhaitham carefully approached Kaveh raising his arm and carefully placing his hand on Kaveh's shoulder. He noticed that Kaveh's breathing had picked up and his eyes were glazing over, almost as if he was about to faint. "Don't worry about that, just try to breathe okay? You're tensing up."

"I-I..." Kaveh paused, taking a shaky breath, his gaze still fixed on Alhaitham. Uncertainty lingered in the air, as he grappled with the intentions of the grey-haired man before him.

"Breathe, Kaveh. Don't worry about the rest," Alhaitham spoke with calm reassurance, his grip on Kaveh's shoulder firm yet gentle, leaving no marks on the older man's skin.

Alhaitham could tell what was happening. He didn't know what caused it, but Kaveh was having a panic attack. He didn't give himself much time to think about much else and simply spun Kaveh around, letting his back face Alhaitham. The younger man wrapped his arms around Kaveh, and pulled him against his chest, keeping him standing and hopefully calming him down.

As capable as Alhaitham was, this was far from his area of expertise. Not only did he often avoid physical touch but matters of comfort or calming people down weren't exactly up his alley. In any other situation he'd let the matter resolve itself and just be on his way, but leaving his roommate was far from ideal.

Instead, he attempted to comfort Kaveh as best he could. He once saw Tighnari do the same for Collei when she was in a similar state of discomfort. Even if their relationship was significantly different from his own with Kaveh, it's not as if Tighnari's methods were ineffective. Besides, Kaveh wouldn't complain about it. Even still, there may be a small part of himself that liked the idea of being so close to him. It's not something that he'd be afforded under normal circumstances.

Minutes passed in the hushed struggle between panic and calm. Alhaitham maintained his embrace, offering a steady presence as Kaveh grappled with the internal storm. Gradually, the frenetic pace of Kaveh's breaths began to ease. The grey-haired man spoke with gentle reassurance, breaking the silence that had settled during the storm.

"You're okay, Kaveh. Just breathe. Take your time." Alhaitham's voice carried a soothing cadence, encouraging Kaveh to reclaim control over his breathing and, by extension, the swirling chaos within.

"Haitham?" Kaveh whispered, his sense of reality slowly returning to him.

Alhaitham hummed softly, ignoring the warm nostalgic feeling in his chest at the nickname, or the painful tug of vines in his throat. "I'm here, don't worry. I'm right here with you."

Alhaitham remained a steadfast anchor, allowing the aftermath of the panic attack to settle. As Kaveh's breaths steadied, Alhaitham loosened his grip but continued to stand close, a silent guardian against the lingering shadows of anxiety.

The room seemed to regain its clarity, and Kaveh's awareness slowly returned. He nodded in acknowledgment. As the remnants of panic dissipated, Kaveh finally found the strength to speak, his voice a whisper laced with both gratitude and confusion. "Thank you."

Alhaitham offered a reassuring squeeze before gradually releasing his hold. He stepped back, allowing Kaveh space to breathe both figuratively and literally. The room, once filled with the palpable tension of the panic attack, now bore witness to a delicate calm.

Still facing Kaveh, Alhaitham spoke with genuine concern, "Are you feeling a better?"

Kaveh, though visibly drained, managed a faint nod. The uncertainty in his eyes persisted, a silent plea for answers to questions he struggled to articulate. "And do you recognize me now?"

Kaveh nodded again, his crimson eyes already saying what Alhaitham had heard all too many times over the last few days. He chose not to press further, instead redirecting the focus to the immediate need.

"How about you sit down for a moment?" Alhaitham gestured toward the divan, inviting Kaveh to reclaim some semblance of normalcy and calm.

Kaveh hesitated but eventually took him up on the suggestion, watching as Alhaitham sat down next to him. His gaze remained fixated on the man, a mixture of gratitude and confusion lingering in his eyes. The room, though now in relative calm, held the echoes of vulnerability and questions that danced beneath the surface.

In the aftermath, Kaveh's gaze lingered in uncertainty, caught between recognition and oblivion. Alhaitham, perceptive to the silent struggle, chose not to pry into the fragments of Kaveh's mind, it was almost certainly too much for either of them to decode. 

"Are you hungry?" The scribe asked, watching tentatively as Kaveh shook his head. "You seem exhausted," he remarked, his words a gentle observation, yet carrying the weight of understanding. 

"I haven't been awake for that long," Kaveh retorted, but the words lacked the intended conviction, overshadowed by the genuine exhaustion in his voice.

Alhaitham hummed softly, crossing his arms with a subtle yet knowing expression. "Then I suppose it's just a side effect of your medication," he said, his tone almost mocking, a calculated barb that seemed to cut through Kaveh's feeble attempt at a rebuttal.

"That can't be I-" Kaveh began, only to stop himself mid-sentence, his mind racing to prevent any further revelations. The mere suggestion of neglecting his medication drew an instinctive scolding from Tighnari in his memory. As kind as the Valuka Shuna was, Tighnari would still give a stern lecture to the man if he even considered skipping out on his medication. "I..."

The pause did not escape Alhaitham's notice, and a cold yet calculated glare met Kaveh's gaze. "Haven't taken your medication yet?" Alhaitham's words hung in the air, a pointed question that threatened to unravel the thin threads of evasion Kaveh had woven.

"I... Well..." Kaveh stammered, finding himself at a loss for words. Alhaitham's ability to disarm any response in mere seconds left Kaveh grappling with frustration and a newfound sense of familiarity, an unsettling connection that echoed within. For a moment, Kaveh considered pushing back, reclaiming control of the conversation. Yet, Alhaitham maintained a calm demeanor that contrasted sharply with the intensity of his words, leaving Kaveh disarmed.

Instead, Kaveh pivoted, choosing to divert the conversation into safer waters. "I woke up and found myself alone. I tried looking for you, but... Anyway, where were you? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I went out to get some food. I figured you'd need something to eat when you woke up," Alhaitham responded, his words carrying a partial truth, a calculated omission of the visit to the hospital that had preoccupied his morning.

"Is that all?" Kaveh inquired, his tone carrying a hint of familiarity, reminiscent of their lighthearted arguments they used to have. Alhaitham, however, knew better than to entertain such exchanges in the current circumstances. This wasn't the same Kaveh he could prod at until the blond stomped his way through the house in frustration. 

"I also went to work," Alhaitham admitted simply, cutting through the rising tension with unyielding precision.

"And you're back so soon?" Kaveh questioned, attempting to regain control of the conversation.

"Is that a problem?"

"Just feels like you shouldn't be back so soon."

"Would you have preferred to have been left alone for the rest of the day?" Alhaitham countered. 

As Kaveh racked his head for a response he found himself stifling a yawn before turning his attention back to Alhaitham who stared back at him with an unimpressed look on his face. 

Kaveh, visibly fatigued, sank into the plush cushions of the couch, a silent plea for respite evident in his tired eyes. "How about we just lay down for a while? At least until I get my appetite back." Kaveh bargained, figuring it would at least appease Alhaitham somewhat.

Alhaitham stared a hole into Kaveh for a moment before silently agreeing. If nothing else he could at least coax his senior to sleep. It had been easy enough to do so in the past when the man was beyond inebriated, so trying it now wouldn't hurt.

With his mind made up Alhaitham nodded before grabbing Kaveh by the waist and repositioning their bodies so that they laid flat on the divan. In their new position Kaveh's head rested on his chest, and his frame was curled into Alhaitham's, who was careful not to squeeze too lightly against his body.

Before Kaveh could protest Alhaitham already had a snide remark lined up. "You did say we should lay down, so that's exactly what this is."

Once again Alhaitham seemed to have killed any retorts Kaveh could've made, and he didn't show any signs of wanting to fight back. His starstruck expression was enough to fill Alhaitham with a small sense of pride, and it didn't help that he managed to actually get away with this little stunt. Even if it wouldn't last long, Alhaitham could enjoy having Kaveh so close to him. Not in a drunken stupor, not snoring softly as Alhaitham carried him to bed, just as he was.

As they embraced the silence, Alhaitham couldn't help but notice how Kaveh's fingers traced delicate patterns on his shirt. Kaveh seemed to get lost in the way Alhaitham's shirt hugged his torso, outlining his toned frame. It's not like Alhaitham worked out for his personal appearance or to impress anyone in particular, nor did he care that he often drew looks of envy or adoration from people as he went about his day.

Breaking the comfortable silence, Kaveh's sudden question cut through the air, pulling Alhaitham back to the present. "What do you do for a living?"

Alhaitham, always a man of concise responses, replied, "I'm the Akademiya's scribe."

Kaveh seemed to scoff at this response, as if it was not the answer he was looking for. "If you're going to answer so plainly, then tell me, who are you?"

The raised eyebrow in response revealed Alhaitham's skepticism. "I'm Alhaitham."

"You know that's not what I meant. Okay, fine, if you won't elaborate, then at least tell me what we are," Kaveh pressed further, a curiosity in his eyes that hinted at a desire to unravel the complexities between them.

"We're roommates," Alhaitham stated, a teasing glint in his eyes, contrasting the neutral façade the scribe often held.

"Just roommates?"

"I suppose we could be called 'friends' in a sense," Alhaitham teased, his words carrying a weight that hinted at a deeper history between them.

"I get the feeling that there's more to it than that," Kaveh insisted, sensing an unspoken narrative lingering in the air.

"How about starving artist and landlord."

"So this is a cliche now?"

"Cliches persist because they are built on the foundation of truth."

"Hmph." Kaveh crossed his arms, shooting Alhaitham a glare. "From what everyone keeps telling me, I'm an architect, not an artist."

"Yet you regularly tout your creations as artistic masterpieces."

"And what would you know about art? Not much from what I can tell."

Alhaitham remained silent, the tickle in his throat now more pronounced. The silence stretched between the two of them, but Kaveh didn't press the conversation. He'd learned to read some of Alhaitham's nuanced behaviors and as a result he'd learned that when Alhaitham fell silent he had no intention of continuing this particular point of conversation. 

So with that peaceful silence fell between the two, and as minutes passed Kaveh felt his body growing heavy as sleep threatened to wash over him. He tried to blink his growing fatigue away, but it wasn't working. He'd already spent far too much time sleeping his days away, feeling far too tired for it to be considered normal. It didn't feel natural to him, in fact it almost made him restless how little he was doing over the last few days. But what was he supposed to do?

"You think far too loudly." Alhaitham spoke softly, fighting the growing need to cough as a petal now tickled the back of his throat. His breath hitched, causing him to tense up, and Kaveh's attention to shift to Alhaitham.

"Are you okay?" Kaveh's voice was drowsy but the concern was easy to hear.

Alhaitham nodded, silently cursing himself as he unintentionally itched his throat. It didn't help that the scent of Mourning Flowers seemed to intensify, now burning his nostrils. For a moment he wondered if Kaveh could smell it on him too.

"I'm fine, just a little tired," Alhaitham reassured Kaveh, guiding the conversation away from his own struggles. "You should rest too."

Kaveh hesitated, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. "Will you stay with me?"

For a moment a flicker of genuine warmth touched Alhaitham's gaze, "Of course, Kaveh. I'll be right here."

As Kaveh settled back into the couch, Alhaitham retrieved a blanket, gently draping it over the former, hoping that the warmth would be enough to help Kaveh drift off to sleep.

"You're a good friend, Alhaitham," Kaveh mumbled, the words laced with a hint of gratitude and weariness.

The acknowledgment struck a chord within Alhaitham, a complex melody of bitter sweet emotions resonating beneath his calm exterior. "Rest now, Kaveh. We can talk more later."

Kaveh's eyelids drooped, succumbing to the embrace of sleep. Alhaitham observed the rhythmic rise and fall of Kaveh's chest.

Once certain that Kaveh had drifted into a peaceful slumber, Alhaitham silently excused himself with a quiet promise to return. He made his way to the bathroom, careful not to make noise on his way there.

Soon Alhaitham found himself staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He leaned up against the basin, both impressed and thankful that somehow Kaveh hadn't commented on how awful he looked. His face was flushed, eyes dilated, and breathing obviously laboured. As he took in his appearance, he took a deep breath, preparing for the inevitable. Opening his mouth triggered a violent cough, petals falling into the basin like fragments of a fading dream.

Frustration briefly crossed his face, replaced by a stoic acceptance. He traced the outlines of the petals with his fingers, seeking answers in the delicate remnants of vulnerability. Cleanup followed, a meticulous process of erasing the evidence of his- as the doctor put it- unrequited affection.

It wasn't Kaveh's fault, even if being near the man was enough to ignite this Archon damned disease within him. Even though Alhaitham knew that the roots of his affliction were entwined with emotions he had long suppressed, he wished this were truly just a fairy tale, just as Dehya suggested. As he wiped away the last traces of petals from the basin, he couldn't shake the bitter taste of pollen and crimson on his tongue.

Alhaitham sighed, the weight of his condition settling upon him. The rational, logical part of him struggled to reconcile with the irrationality of Hanahaki, a manifestation of emotions he deemed unnecessary. Yet, the reality was undeniable, and the pain in his chest served as a stark reminder.

Returning to check on Kaveh, Alhaitham observed the peaceful slumber, untainted by the complexities of awareness. Deciding to give into indulgence just one more time, Alhaitham settled back where he previously lay, the thorns rooted in his chest intensifying despite the warmth being near Kaveh brings.

As he drifted into sleep, Alhaitham spared one last glance to Kaveh, who seemed to have the slightest smile on his face.