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Jiang Cheng taps the pads of his fingers against the counter as he waits for the tea to steep, glancing once again at Nie Huaisang sitting at his kitchen table.  It’s almost easier to believe that his mind is playing tricks on him than that his old childhood friend is sitting in his home after barely contacting each other for years, but there are enough small differences that Jiang Cheng isn’t creative enough to imagine  Huaisang’s hair is longer than he kept it when they were kids, reaching just above his shoulders with the front braided back away from his face.  His cheeks look gaunter than Jiang Cheng remembers, but that could be a trick of memory, always thinking of Huaisang as younger and more youthful than he is.  Half of his face is covered by the large phone he’s holding, thumbs swiping at the screen, no doubt playing some mindless game he seems to be obsessed with.  While it would usually rankle Jiang Cheng, he’s selfishly glad that Huaisang is too distracted to take in the sparse impersonality of his apartment or comment on the fact that Jiang Cheng is breaking a few of the rules of serving tea that were emphasized at Cloud Recess.

Huaisang was always better at those than him, anyway.  Back at summer camp, he was terrible at his language fluency and hated their martial arts classes, but Jiang Cheng remembers him effortlessly acing every etiquette lesson, no matter how archaic.  Jiang Cheng has forgotten half of it now, something which his mom is quick to remind him of whenever they interact outside of work, but if Huaisang got to host traditional tea services for the rest of his life, Jiang Cheng thinks he’d be happy.

Jiang Cheng glances at Huaisang again and wonders if he still knows him well enough to make that claim.  It’s been a while since they really spent time together between Jiang Cheng’s law school, the mess with Wei Wuxian, and Huaisang’s sudden rise to power as the head of Nie Knives.  While they were close as kids, he doesn’t know how much of that familiarity has carried over now that they’re both almost thirty.  Huaisang’s suggestion that they meet up today was as surprising to Jiang Cheng as the first time Lan Wangji showed up to a Jiang family gathering.  Still, Jiang Cheng didn’t feel like he could say no, especially given everything Huaisang’s been going through recently.

“Tea’s ready,” he says, bringing the pot over to the breakfast bar.  Huaisang sets down his phone with a smile, but Jiang Cheng recognizes the circles under his eyes and the lines of tension in his jaw.  A good night’s sleep and a reminder to unclench isn’t going to fix that.

Huaisang accepts his cup of tea carefully, immediately taking a sip of it and humming in appreciation.

“Thanks Jiang Cheng,” he says.  “I never have tea like this anymore.  Da-ge used to make it, but I always liked coffee better, and now that he’s–”

He cuts himself off, looking down at the table.  Jiang Cheng stays silent.  He’s always been terrible at comforting people, and there’s nothing that he could say that will change the fact that Huaisang’s brother is in jail for a violent crime and won’t see the other side of prison walls for at least 20 years.

“Anyway!” Huaisang barrels on, shaking his head as if that can dispel whichever memory of his brother is plaguing him.  “This is good!  You make the tea very well.”

Jiang Cheng grimaces.  “Yanli makes it better.  I don’t have the patience for it most of the time.”

“No, this is good!” Huaisang insists.  Jiang Cheng purses his lips, but takes a sip of tea to keep from replying.  It’d be impolite to argue further, even if the tea is weak and under-steeped.  He should’ve used fresh leaves.

“How is Yanli?” Huaisang asks.  Jiang Cheng nods.

“She’s good.  The Peacock is treating her well.  A-Ling began kindergarten this past year, so she has more time for herself.  She has recently learned how to make and can jam.  She mails me some every few weeks.”

Huaisang’s smile turns a little wistful, and Jiang Cheng desperately casts around for something else to say that isn’t How is Mingjue?  Does prison agree with him?

“I’m finally seeing her in a few weeks, for the annual summer visit to Lotus Pier.”

“You still go there?” Huaisang asks, brightening.  Jiang Cheng feels off-balance that things have gotten so distant between them that Huaisang has to ask.  Visiting Lotus Pier is one of the only constants in Jiang Cheng’s life, but vacations at family summer homes haven’t exactly been a topic of discussion between them lately, not when Huaisang’s was turned into a murder scene two years ago.

“Yeah.  We do a week every summer, then get together for Thanksgiving.  Lunar New Year, too, if we don’t make it back to China,” he says.

Jiang Cheng would skip it if he could, but it’s non-negotiable.  His parents have made it very clear that three family gatherings out of the year is the bare minimum necessary to ensure that the family remains strong, as if it hasn’t been fractured beyond repair since Jiang Cheng was a child.

“That’s nice,” Huaisang says, a hint of wistfulness in his voice.  Jiang Cheng wonders if he had anyone to spend Lunar New Year with.  Surely there’s extended family that he could see, right?

“It’s not all nice,” Jiang Cheng frowns down at his tea, tracing the lip of the cup with his finger.  “No one there likes me.”

“That’s not true!” Huaisang cries.  “Yanli sends you jam!”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Obviously Yanli and A-Ling don’t count,” he scoffs.  “But it’s only gotten worse now that she has to bring the Peacock and Wei Wuxian brings Lan Wangji.”

“Ah, Lan Wangji is a killjoy, but he’s not so bad!”

Jiang Cheng levels Huaisang with a look.

“Lan Wangji hates me,” he says flatly.  Huaisang grimaces, but makes a waffling, neutral noise instead of refuting it.  Wangji’s polite but strong disdain for him must be extremely obvious if news has even reached Huaisang.

“Besides,” Jiang Cheng continues, looking over Huaisang’s shoulder at a bare patch of wall, “my parents keep expecting me to bring someone, but I don’t have time to meet anyone between my work at the company and my part-time work at the firm.  Everyone else has someone else they can turn to, someone from a distinguished family who my parents approve of, but that just makes them focus on me more.”

Jiang Cheng is used to being told that he is the lesser sibling, having heard it his entire life until Wei Wuxian’s incident cut off all talk of him, but he hates giving his parents something else to critique him on, even if it’s something that he can’t help.

He’s simply not interested in finding a partner.  He doesn’t have time for it, and he has no desire for the casual hook-ups that everyone else seems to favor.  The few times that he’s tried to go on a date, always set up by a third party, have been disastrous.

Jiang Cheng barely has any free time.  He doesn’t want to waste it chasing after women who will never want him and ignoring the fact that he wouldn’t mind chasing after boys, too.

“You could bring me!” Huaisang says, throwing his arms out wide.  “I’ve always wanted to go to a lake house.  I think it would suit me better than the mountains.”

Jiang Cheng shakes his head before he can let the thought entice him.  Most of Huaisang’s ideas make him feel like he’s at the beginning of a roller coaster: lots of excited anticipation with a healthy dose of fear.  This idea would send the cars flying off the tracks and Jiang Cheng tumbling to a bloody death.

“Only significant others are allowed,” he says.

“We could pretend!” Huaisang says.  “I’m a very good actor!  I bet I could convince your family!”

“You are not a good actor,” Jiang Cheng says.  Nie Huaisang’s mouth drops open in mock-offense.

“I am a wonderful actor!” he protests.  “I’ve been in theater productions!”

“You’ve been in three community musicals and you were cast in the ensemble each time.”

Jiang Cheng saw the first one, back when they both were in college.  It was not good.  He did not force himself to sit through the other two.

“Ah, but that’s because I’m tone deaf,” Huaisang says, leaning forward conspiratorially.  “The fact that I was cast at all is a testament to how good my acting is!”

He winks, the movement purposefully over-exaggerated.  For a moment, Jiang Cheng is back in their cabin in Cloud Recess talking about where Huaisang has hidden the alcohol so that the younger campers and Lan Wangji will not find it.

He also has a point.  While Jiang Cheng’s experience as an audience member was unpleasant, it wasn’t Huaisang that made it so.  It was basically everything else.

“You think that good acting is all you need to gain my parent’s approval?” he asks.  “You’re also a man.  That starts you on a bad note.”

“Lan Wangji is a man, and your parents haven’t publicly denounced his marriage to Wei Wuxian,” Huaisang points out.  “Surely him coming out first can only help you.”

It’s a very different situation.  Wei Wuxian is not publicly affiliated with Jiang Shipping anymore and is not expected to one day take over the company, then pass it on to his own son.  Him coming to Lotus Pier with Lan Wangji and a child in tow two years ago was a shock for everyone, especially with their matching rings, but Jiang Cheng’s mother accepted it with shockingly little protest, likely in part because Lan Wangji is everything she could ever want in a son-in-law.

“All it has done is give my parents unreasonable expectations of what my partner should be like,” Jiang Cheng sighs.  “They must be Chinese and connected to our culture, they must be from a good family, they must have money, they must be polite and no fun, so on and so forth.”

“I’m Chinese,” Huaisang says.  “I understand the culture as well as you, since we went to the same summer camp for it.  Our families have done business together since your grandparents founded Jiang Shipping back in China.  I grew up in high society, just like you and the Jins and the Lans.”

Jiang Cheng forcibly bites back his argument that the Nie reputation isn’t worth shit since the murder conviction and poor management of the company.  It’s best not to insult one of his only friends, especially since it’s not Huaisang’s fault.  He didn’t stab someone multiple times with a knife from his own forge.  He never trained to take over a multi-billion-dollar knife manufacturing company, always under the assumption that Mingjue would be there to run it instead.

“My mother would eat you alive,” he says instead.

Huaisang hums, tapping his nails against the screen of his phone where it lays on the table.

“Perhaps, but I doubt she would make a large scene with distinguished guests like Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji present.”

Jiang Cheng considers that and is horrified to find that aspects of this plan make a semblance of sense.  He can feel himself beginning to be convinced, just like he was at Cloud Recess when Huaisang or Wei Wuixian would come up with a ridiculous and idiotic plan that he was always roped into, some of which were disastrous, some of which were the most fun he had in his childhood years.  Regardless of how much sense Jiang Cheng tried to retain, it always seemed to leave him when all three of them were together, but the results weren’t always bad.

Huaisang sighs, leaning back in his chair.

“It’s a nice fantasy, anyway,” he says, looking down at his tea cup.  “Da-ge keeps saying that I need to leave the city for a little bit, but I’m not good at traveling alone.”

Jiang Cheng supposes that traveling with Jin Guangyao would leave no one in charge of the company.  It’s an open secret that he’s been assisting Nie Huaisang so much that he’s practically running it himself, even after the defense subpoenaed him to testify against Mingjue at the trial and Mingjue had an unflattering outburst at his words.

Besides, Guangyao can’t take time away from Jin Investments, not now that he’s the senior investment manager.

Jiang Cheng hums in a weak agreement, looking away from the downturn of Huaisang’s mouth and the slight wetness in his eyes.

Jiang Cheng used to think that time at Lotus Pier could cure anyone of their melancholy.  One day out on the lake used to make his problems melt away before his issues became too big to drown in the water.  Huaisang would benefit from a week away, too.

“Were you serious?” he asks before he realizes he had the intention of talking.  Huaisang blinks at him, mouth dropping open in surprise.

“I don’t–” Jiang Cheng continues, then stops himself with a frustrated huff.  He hates when he can’t find the words he wants.  It rarely happens in public or at work functions, but it’s a constant challenge in any personal conversation.  He alternates between yelling and choking on his own tongue.

“I don’t want to be surrounded by people who don’t like me, without anyone who has my back.  It would be… more fun with you there, and it would keep my parents from nagging me about finding a partner.”

Jiang Cheng clenches his jaw, then releases it while Huaisang gawks.  He doesn’t have any analogue clocks in the apartment, they’re all digital, but he swears he can hear the seconds ticking away regardless.

“Forget it,” he scoffs when the silence has become too much for him, picking up the tea pot to pour himself another cup.  “It was a silly–”

“No, no no no!” Huaisang rushes, taking the pot out of his hand.  Jiang Cheng’s protests are lost as Huaisang keeps talking.  “I’ll go with you!  If you want me there, I can be there!”

Jiang Cheng wavers.

“Do you really think you can convince them?” he asks.  “This won’t work if we can’t sell it.  It would be an even worse disaster.”

“Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang says, voice affectionate.  He puts down the tea and instead takes both of Jiang Cheng’s hands gently in his.  His hands are cold, and incredibly soft.  He rubs his thumbs over the back of Jiang Cheng’s hands and goose bumps erupt across his arms.

“Jiang Cheng,” he repeats, prompting Jiang Cheng to look up at his eyes, a smile crinkling at the corner of them.  It’s been a while since anyone has looked at Jiang Cheng with any semblance of affection.  It’s been years since anyone but Yanli has.

“I have been in love with you for nearly two decades,” Huaisang says.  Air stops traveling to Jiang Cheng’s lungs, his heartbeat ceasing in his chest.  “If anyone can convince your family that we’re in love, wouldn’t it be me?”

Jiang Cheng stares, trying to get his tongue to form any words, any at all, but it feels stuck to the roof of his mouth, throat closed up.

Huaisang’s giggle breaks him out of it.  He drops Jiang Cheng’s hands to cover his mouth, face scrunched up in mirth.  Jiang Cheng’s cheeks burn.

“See?” Huaisang asks between giggles.  “I am a good actor!  I even had you convinced for a moment.”

“You’re an ass,” he says, taking the teapot back and pouring himself a cup, but leaving Huaisang’s pointedly empty.  “See if I ever invite you into my home again.”

He takes the teapot to the counter, just so Huaisang gets the message that he’s not getting any more and to give his cheeks a moment to cool.  Huaisang’s answering whine is like a balm against his skin.

As much as he hates being embarrassed, it was nice to hear Huaisang’s laugh again.  Even his whining has familiarity to it, a reminder of a happier time.

“Don’t be like that, Jiang Cheng,” he pouts.  “If you don’t invite me, I won’t be able to help you at your family vacation!”

Jiang Cheng scoffs, but returns to his spot at the island.  Huaisang looks up at him with wide eyes, his eyebrows furrowed together.  Jiang Cheng wonders how many people have had to build a tolerance to this specific look.

“Fine,” he sighs.  “I suppose if you’re willing, you can come to Lotus Pier with me.”

The pout deepens.

“Jiang Cheng, is that how you ask a guest to do you the favor of pretending to be your boyfriend?”

Jiang Cheng regrets everything already.

“Nie Huaisang, would you like to accompany me to my family’s vacation at Lotus Pier and pretend to be my boyfriend?  You would be doing me a great favor, and I would be in your debt,” he says flatly.

Huaisang brightens, looking genuinely happy for what is perhaps the first time since Jiang Cheng has seen him today.  He can’t pinpoint what, exactly, is different about this smile, but it makes his chest warm, regardless.

“I would love to, A-Cheng.”

Jiang Cheng’s heart pounds in his chest.

“I will tell my family to expect one more person this year,” he says.  He clears his throat, then drinks his tea.

Huaisang’s smile, if possible, grows bigger.

“I look forward to it,” he says.  Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if he agrees with him or not.

-/-

By the time they make it to their gate for their flight, Jiang Cheng’s nerves are frayed and his body is stiff with tension.  The only thing that has kept him from yelling at every person who gets unintentionally too close or every loud noise is how distracting Huaisang’s hand feels in his.  He’s always hated airports, with too many people crowded into one place coupled with the stress of getting through security and navigating the maze of terminals, but he hates them even more now that he’s gotten used to using the company’s private jet.  His parents, unfortunately, claimed it to get them to Lotus Pier earlier this week, leaving him to navigate the airport with everyone else and suffer through a public plane ride, even if it is first class.

Huaisang said that Nie Zonghui needed his company plane for a knife demonstration in Europe, a market that they’re trying to expand into now that the Nie name is more infamous than famous in the United States.  He complained the entire way through security and begged Jiang Cheng to carry his carry-on for him.  Jiang Cheng eventually complied simply because Huaisang seems to be immune to threats and that was the only way to get him to shut up.

Besides, Huaisang said that that’s what a good boyfriend would do, and Jiang Cheng is trying to get into character.  The airport is a test run to see if they can convincingly act like a couple in public.

They talked a few more times after their initial meeting weeks ago to iron out the details.  Jiang Cheng has no actual dating experience to speak of, so he’s mostly following Huaisang’s lead.  He doesn’t think that he himself would be prone to PDA as a boyfriend, but Huaisang is touchy, so they’ve agreed to hold hands frequently and indulge in cheek and forehead kisses when applicable, although Jiang Cheng would prefer not to actually kiss on the lips.

Jiang Cheng tried to call him baby once and the word was so foreign and awkward in his mouth that Huaisang turned red from how much he laughed, so he’ll leave most of the endearments to Huaisang, as well.

Overall, Jiang Cheng’s role will be to let Huaisang be annoying without yelling at him, defend him against criticisms, and try not to frown as much as usual.

“A-Cheng,” Huaisang asks, idly flipping his phone between his fingers.  Jiang Cheng glances over at him and hums, letting the name wash over him.  He has to get used to not being called Jiang Cheng all the time.  “I think I forgot something.”

Jiang Cheng keeps his sigh internal.  They were later than he preferred getting to the airport because every time Huaisang got in the car when Jiang Cheng picked him up, he remembered something he needed to pack and had to rush back to grab it.

“Phone charger?” he asks.

“No, I wouldn’t forget that.”

“Pyjamas?”

“Check.”

“Toothbrush?”

“Check.”

“Hairbrush?”

“Check?”

Jiang Cheng wracks his brain for something that might not appear on normal what-to-pack lists.

“House slippers?”

Nie Huaisang sits straight up, horror dawning across his face.

“No!  A-Cheng, I forgot house slippers!  Your mother is going to hate me!  What type of good Chinese boy forgets house slippers?”

“You’ll be fine,” Jiang Cheng sighs.  “I packed an extra pair for you just in case.”

Huaisang collapses against him, heavier than he looks now that he’s gone completely limp.  Jiang Cheng resists the urge to shake him off and simply rolls his eyes instead.

“Thank you, A-Cheng!  You’re the best!”  He leans up and presses his lips to Jiang Cheng’s cheek, lightning-quick.  Jiang Cheng freezes, staring straight ahead at the desk where their flight information will be announced, skin tingling.  Huaisang doesn’t notice, fussing with his phone instead and putting in wireless headphones.  By the time Jiang Cheng has his wits about him again, Huaisang has linked their arms together, scooting towards Jiang Cheng and slouching in his chair so he can squish his cheek against Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, body incredibly warm.

“Tell me when we’re boarding, okay?” Huaisang asks, pulling up another game on his phone to play.  Jiang Cheng hums, even though he doubts Huaisang can hear it over the bright pop songs he always listens to.

He can’t comfortably lean his head against the top of Huaisang’s with them in this position (and really, he can’t imagine how this is a comfortable position for Huaisang in general), but he does lean into him slightly, just enough to convince everyone around them that his first instinct isn’t to throw Huaisang off and reclaim his personal space.  If it were anyone but Huaisang he might do so anyway, charade be damned, but Huaisang is one of the few people that Jiang Cheng used to constantly invite into his space without a second thought, leaning conspiratorially together to gossip about fellow campers at Cloud Recess or pressing together in the cabin late at night when they’re supposed to be asleep.

Jiang Cheng lets out a calm breath, then another.  Everything is going to be fine.  They survived the airport and made it to the gate.  Now, they just need to fool his family.

-/-

By the time they’ve gathered their luggage at the baggage claim, Jiang Cheng feels like his heart is going to fly out of his chest.  The plane ride was turbulent, made worse by Huaisang’s fear of flying that he chose not to disclose until take-off, and Jiang Cheng’s bag was the last one to appear on the luggage carousel, right when he was about to start yelling at airport staff about all of his possessions disappearing.  Now, waiting for his family to pick them up and take them to Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng can’t bring himself to do anything but clench his fists so tightly his nails dig into the palm of his hand deep enough to leave marks, if not break skin.

“Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang says nervously, flipping his phone between his fingers again.  “Are you… okay?”

Jiang Cheng grimaces and rolls his eyes up to the ceiling.

“This was a terrible idea,” he says, impressed with how level he’s managed to keep his voice.

“At least we’re seeing Yanli first, right?  Wei Wuxian might see through us right away.”

Jiang Cheng stares at Huaisang in disbelief.  Huaisang’s eyes widen, and he stops flipping his phone in his hands in favor of tapping it against his nose instead, covering half of his face.

“Wei Wuxian never realized I had a crush on Wen Qing for the entirety of junior year, even though we almost went to prom together.  I went so far as to formally ask her and get a suit.  I told him I had a date.  The only reason we didn’t end up going is because her brother took a turn for the worse, and even with Wei Wuxian hanging around them after that, he never realized.  He is not the person we have to worry about.”

Huaisang’s mouth drops open in a tiny “o” as he nods.

“Okay,” he says.  Jiang Cheng turns to watch the doors to the airport again, both hoping to see  his sister moving through the crowd and dreading it.

“He was too obsessed with bothering Lan Wangji from a distance and hacking into school records to notice his brother’s crushes,” Jiang Cheng says bitterly.  “Now that he has Wangji here, he’ll pay even less attention to us.”

Huaisang makes another noise of assent and slides closer, their arms brushing.

“Jiujiu!”

Jiang Cheng turns towards the voice on instinct, a smile breaking over his face as Jin Ling runs towards him, weaving between people as fast as his six-year-old body will let him, determination clear in his face.

“Stop running and say ‘excuse me,’” he chastises seconds before Jin Ling hits him at full speed.  Jiang Cheng almost stumbles at the force of it and feels a fierce sense of pride that he’s growing so strong.  He passes a hand over the top of Jin Ling’s head, the other pressed between his shoulder blades in a hug.

“Jiujiu!  I’ve missed you!” Jin Ling says.  Jiang Cheng fights to keep his smile under control, heart bursting for a different reason.

“Step back, let me see how you’ve grown,” he commands.  Jin Ling obediently does so, and Jiang Cheng crouches to get a better look at him.  His hair is short and smart, a summer cut rather than the slightly longer look Yanli lets him sport during winter under the belief that it helps keep his head warm, even though her family lives in the south.  He looks straight ahead in an imitation of seriousness, looking exactly like his father except with a Yanli’s eyes and nose, features that he also shares with Jiang Cheng and that he loves seeing reflected back at him.  Jin Ling’s eyes keep flicking to Jiang Cheng as he stands through the inspection, face betraying his excitement and happiness even as he attempts to be calm and unaffected.  Jiang Cheng reaches out to straighten his shirt, a yellow polo shirt that Zixuan no doubt picked for him and would call gold instead, and Jin Ling stands taller under the attention.

“You’re getting very tall, A-Ling,” Jiang Cheng says.  Jin Ling puffs out his chest, cheeks growing round with his smile.

“A-Cheng!” Yanli calls before he can continue, breaking through the crowd like sunshine through the clouds.  Jiang Cheng immediately stands and moves to meet her, stepping into her arms when she opens them for a hug, careful not to cling as tightly as he wants to in case her body is aching today.  His shoulders automatically lose their tension the moment he smells her perfume, the same one she’s been using since she was a teenager despite Zixuan trying to buy her more expensive ones, and the rest of the airport melts away as he squeezes his eyes shut.

Yanli’s hugs have always been the safest place in the world, like she would protect him from everything even though she hates conflict and spends more time fighting her own immune system than his battles.

“It’s good to see you, A-Cheng,” Yanli says, pulling back too soon.  Her hands smooth down his shoulders, similar to how he fussed over Jin Ling, then her eyes catch on something over his shoulder and her smile shifts from affection to surprise.

“Nie Huaisang,” she says, stepping around Jiang Cheng to face him.  Jin Zixuan appears at her side and she curls her hand into the crook of his elbow.  Jin Ling slips into the open space on his mom’s other side, but Jiang Cheng only has eyes for Huaisang’s nervous smile and white-knuckle grip on his phone.

“Hello Yanli!  Zixuan!  It’s good to see you both again,” he says, giving them a small wave.  He glances at Jiang Cheng, and it takes him longer than it should to realize that Huaisang wants them to stand together.  He clears his throat and crosses the short distance.

“You both know Huaisang,” he says, waving his hand vaguely.  What is he supposed to do with his hands right now?  Should he put an arm around Huaisang?  Would he do that in front of Yanli and Jin Zixuan if Huaisang was actually his boyfriend?

“I must be honest, when A-Cheng said he was bringing a guest this time, I had a hard time imagining who could’ve stolen my didi’s heart,” Yanli says.  “I’m very glad to see it’s someone that he considers an old friend!”

“Shijie,” he complains, cheeks heating.  She smiles benevolently at him, but Jiang Cheng can see Zixuan attempting to muffle his amusement, multiplying the embarrassment exponentially.

“I’m very happy to have been invited,” Huaisang says, taking Jiang Cheng’s hand and interlocking their fingers.  “I know how important family is to A-Cheng, and I’ve wanted to visit Lotus Pier since he first told me about it as kids.”

Jiang Cheng tries to find something else to say, but all of his words seem to have left him.  Huaisang squeezes his hand, which makes it worse.

“Lotus Pier is as enchanting as the Jiangs make it sound,” Zixuan says.  “I’m sure you will love it just as much as I did when I first visited.”

Jiang Cheng resists the urge to roll his eyes, solely because he hopes Zixuan is right.

“Shall we leave, then?” he asks.

“Yes!” Jin Ling shouts.  “Jiujiu, let’s go to the lake!”

“Alright,” Yanli laughs, passing a hand over Jin Ling’s hair while he squirms away from her, skipping over to Jiang Cheng and tugging on his free hand.  “The car is parked outside.  May I help with your bags?”

“We have them, Shijie,” Jiang Cheng says, detangling himself from Huaisang and Jin Ling to heft his carry-on onto his shoulders and grab the duffle he packed.  Huaisang pouts, but takes the handle of his rolling suitcase.

“I can help!” Jin Ling says, tugging on Jiang Cheng’s hand again.

“Go help your mother,” Jiang Cheng commands.  “Help by leading us to the car, but do not run ahead.”

Jin Ling nods seriously.

“Yes, Jiujiu!  It’s this way!”

They follow Jin Ling through the baggage claim to the doors, the summer air feeling hotter than usual after the intense air conditioning of the airport.  Jiang Cheng flips down the sunglasses on the top of his head to shield his eyes while Huaisang fumbles to get his own, fashionably large-framed pair on his face.  Jiang Cheng supposes he’ll be seeing a lot of those glasses over the course of the week, and he finds the thought a strangely unpleasant one.  They cover too much of Huaisang’s face, leaving no features visible when he has his nose stuck in his phone or flutters one of his silly, ornamental fans.

(art by HB)

When they eventually get to the car, Zixuan helps put their luggage in the back, as he should.  Jin Ling’s car seat is already attached to the back seat behind the driver, and Jiang Cheng slides in next to him once Yanli straps him in, used to the middle seat as the youngest of three siblings.  It’s a snug fit.  Jiang Cheng can feel every time Huaisang fidgets, easily distracting him from the small talk Zixuan and Yanli make as the crowded metal buildings of the city give way to grasses, trees, and glimpses of crystal-blue lakes glittering in the sun.  Huaisang keeps his hands to himself the entire ride, and Jiang Cheng sits as still as a statue, waiting for the twists and turns of the road to transition into the familiar lanes of his childhood.

They hit gravel before they hit any other discernible landmark.  Jin Ling perks up at the car’s bumpy rumbling, and soon enough they spot the turnoff that leads through a small patch of trees to Lotus Pier.  The house grows as they approach, a tiny dollhouse model shifting into a beautiful, ornate two-story structure with light lavender siding and a large wooden archway greeting them.  The characters above it are Chinese, one of several markings that his parents were able to splurge on once the company took off.  They wanted to make the house their home, reminiscent of the place where Jiang Cheng’s grandfather grew up that they still try to visit for Lunar New Year, even though the man himself has long since passed on.  There’s a small lotus pond on the other side of the house, near the lake but still separate from it, and he knows that the yellow lotuses will be in bloom now.  Hidden even further beyond the house is the lake itself, with a wooden dock leading out into the water, one of two on the family’s property to help house the different boats they use on the water.

The lake is large, the other side visible but distant from the edge of their shore.  Jiang Cheng’s best memories occurred in that lake, from his father teaching him to swim to Wei Wuxian pushing him in as they played.  He longs to go out on the water again, to strip down to his underwear and dive in right now, but Yanli shakes her head before he can make any sort of move towards it.

“Mother will have dinner ready in 15 minutes.  It’s best if you sneak in the back to put your luggage down, then meet us at the table.  I will go get A-Xian and Wangji.”

Jiang Cheng swallows, then nods.  Huaisang’s gaze flits nervously between him and Yanli, but he doesn’t protest when Jiang Cheng grabs his bags and gestures for him to follow.

It’s time to see the rest of the family.  The challenges are just beginning.

-/-

By the time Huaisang has finished unpacking a seemingly endless amount of impractical clothing and random art supplies into their room for the week, dinner is ready and Jiang Cheng can hear a commotion downstairs in the dining room.  His heartbeat spikes in his chest in a way that’s unfortunately familiar from growing up in this house, but it’s accentuated by the fact that he didn’t see this bout of nerves coming.

It shouldn’t matter to him if his family approves of Huaisang.  He’s only a fake boyfriend.  Jiang Cheng thought there’d be less pressure because it’s not real, but suddenly the thought of going down there and facing everyone’s judgment terrifies him.

“Dinner?” Huaisang asks, jolting Jiang Cheng out of his thoughts.  Jiang Cheng nods wordlessly, and Huaisang slips their hands together on the way out the door.  The stairs are tucked off to the side, so he has no way of seeing what they’re walking into until he actually enters the dining room, even if he can hear multiple voices overlapping each other as the rest of his family gets settled.  His mother’s sharp tone cuts through, demanding that everyone wash their hands before sitting, and Jiang Cheng has to take another deep breath at the foot of the stairs.

Huaisang squeezes his hand.  Jiang Cheng doesn’t spare him a glance before entering.

The scene that greets him is livelier than many of the ones from his childhood, with too many people packed into the ornate dining room.  The glass door to the deck is wide open to let in a breeze, the lake visible beyond, but Jiang Cheng’s eye is immediately drawn to Zixuan attempting to wrestle Jin Ling to his seat.  Jin Ling stamps his foot and refuses to sit, likely hungry to the point of general anger at the world, and Zixuan begins trying to lift him into the chair.  Yanli is too distracted by Wei Wuxian to help, pinching his cheek in response to whatever he’s just said as he grins at her and Lan Wangji gazes carefully at him, their son calmly at his side.  Jiang Cheng’s father sits at the head of the table, surveying the scene quietly.

“Jin Ling,” Jiang Cheng says, just loud enough to be heard.  Jin Ling’s eyes immediately find his, then lower sullenly.  “Listen to your father and sit down.”

The silence that falls over the room sets his teeth on edge.  Jiang Cheng can feel everyone’s eyes on him, but he keeps his eyes on Jin Ling, waiting for him to scrunch his nose but listen anyway.  It only takes a moment, but it feels like they’re suspended in time for hours.

Huaisang shifts just slightly closer.

“Nie Huaisang!” Wei Wuxian says, effectively shattering the quiet.  “What are you doing here?”

“I said I was bringing someone, didn’t I?” Jiang Cheng shoots back, harsher than he means to.  Wei Wuxian doesn’t react, Jiang Cheng’s words just water off a duck’s back, but he can see how Lan Wangji’s expression shifts from distant to hostile .

“Hello,” Huaisang says before Jiang Cheng can further put his foot in his mouth.  “Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, it’s good to see you both!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jiang Cheng can see his father stand.  He clenches his jaw, hand flexing around Huaisang’s.

“Is that my son?” his mother demands, appearing in the doorway to the kitchen before anyone can reply.  Her lips are pursed in a thin line, hair tied up in a tight, unforgiving bun, looking harshly put-together despite preparing dinner.  She looks Huaisang up and down with the same gaze that has made Jiang Cheng feel a nanometer tall countless times in the past, and Jiang Cheng resists the foolish urge to step in front of him and shield him from her.

“Jiang Cheng?  Who is this?” she asks, although he’s certain that she recognizes him.  Yu Ziyuan takes care to know the heads of the companies that they deal with, and Huaisang’s rise to power and fall from grace has been well-documented in the business world, even if they typically conduct their business with Huaisang’s cousin instead.

His father moves to stand next to her, somehow even scarier.  His parents argue every time they see each other, which happens rarely now that they live in different houses, but on the rare occasions they present a united front Jiang Cheng feels like he’s facing two lions in the middle of a hunt, easy and defenseless prey.

“Mother, Father, this is Nie Huaisang, my boyfriend,” he says, taking pains to keep his voice level.

“Mr. Jiang, Ms. Yu, it is an privilege to meet you in person,” Huaisang says, nodding slightly in deferment.  “Thank you for inviting me to your beautiful home.  I am honored to be here.”

Ziyuan’s nose lifts, face hard.  Fengmian turns his gaze to Jiang Cheng, disappointment falling over his shoulders as familiar as rain.

“Welcome,” Fengmian says with the same detached interest he’s always used with Jiang Cheng.  Jiang Cheng wants to take Huaisang and leave.

“This is who you chose?” his mother sniffs.  Blood rushes in Jiang Cheng’s ears, every other sound except her voice drowned out.  “It’s not enough to be a homosexual, you must choose a murderer’s brother who can’t even keep his own company afloat?”

“I–”

“My brother is not a murderer,” Huaisang interrupts, the pleasant, polite tone he took earlier nowhere to be found.  “And Nie Knives is doing fine, thank you.  Jiang Shipping is far too smart to continue to do business with a company that is on the verge of collapse, are you not?”

“You ,” Ziyuan begins venomously.

“I believe it is time for dinner,” Lan Wangji says, voice as even as it always is.  Jiang Cheng glances at him, but he can’t afford to take his eyes off of his mother for long, even if the words make her pause.

“Wangji is right,” Zixuan adds.  “You have worked hard to prepare our meal, Ziyuan.  I don’t want that to go to waste.  Allow me to help carry the dishes in.”

Yu Ziyuan doesn’t wilt.  It is against her nature.  Jiang Cheng can see her tactically decide to table this discussion for a time when she can have it without Wangji or Zixuan around.

Huaisang was right: she won’t make a scene, not with such well-respected, polite young men from influential families around to witness it.  As much as Jiang Cheng dislikes his brothers-in-law, he’s thankful for their presence now.

Zixuan pauses by the door of the kitchen only long enough to let Ziyuan disappear through it first, scampering at her heels.  Fengmian takes his seat again without looking at Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng guides Huaisang to the table, holding out a chair for him before standing behind the open seat between him and Jin Ling.

Yanli leans in to give him a brief hug around his shoulders as she passes.  She’s gone before he can try to reciprocate, taking her own seat before their mother can return and start berating her, too.

Jiang Cheng does not look at Wei Wuxian standing across from him, not daring to sit before their mother does.  He doesn’t look at A-Yuan, or Sizhui, or whatever they’re calling the kid these days, politely settled in a chair with his hands in his lap.  He definitely doesn’t look at his dad, who no doubt is refusing to look at him as well.

He looks at Jin Ling instead, who seems to be glaring daggers at Huaisang.  Huaisang, in turn, is making faces at him, sticking out his tongue and going cross-eyed.  When he catches Jiang Cheng watching him, he simply spares him a smile, then goes right back to making a fool of himself.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but doesn’t tell him to stop.  Huaisang has the good sense to do so himself when Ziyuan comes back with dishes in her hands.

Dinner is… painful.  His mother prepared an impressive spread of steamed fish dishes and spicy noodles, as well as different freshwater produce dishes that Jiang Cheng has been enjoying since childhood.  He can smell the dried hot pepper and other spices his mother used, but he hardly tastes it.  Huaisang seems to be enjoying the food despite the spice, eagerly picking out what he wants with his chopsticks in quick, sure movements, carefully observing the rest of the table while he does.  Every time he catches Jiang Cheng watching him, the corner of his mouth lifts in a smile and Jiang Cheng’s chest tightens.

Zixuan carries a lot of the conversation with Ziyuan and Fengmian.  He has less social skills than Jiang Cheng does, but that makes it easier for him to bulldoze past any awkwardness to break silences.  Besides, both of Jiang Cheng’s parents like him: Ziyuan because he is the son of her best friend, Fengmian because he makes Yanli happy, although the tumultuous beginning of their relationship almost ruined that.  Their words fly right over Jiang Cheng’s head, but Huaisang follows the conversation more attentively than he followed any classes at summer camp, eyes flicking between the speakers, lighting briefly over Wei Wuxian and Wangji when they lean towards each other to whisper over Sizhui’s head, occasionally crinkling his nose at Jin Ling before giving his focus back to Zixuan.

Jiang Cheng watches him more than anyone else at the table, looking for signs of stress or discontent.  Huaisang has never failed to complain about anything and everything that bothers him, no matter how inconsequential, but he is either too oblivious to keep his guard up or a much better actor than Jiang Cheng thought.  His shoulders are loose, expression open except for a slight twitch when Zixuan mentions Jin Guangyao, but the conversation doesn’t venture further towards Mingjue or Nie Knives.  He keeps to himself mostly, but doesn’t hesitate to answer questions directed his way with a polite smile and perfect manners.  His only moments of discontent seem prompted by the tiny barbs at Jiang Cheng that his parents throw out, and even then he expertly navigates the conversation towards recent accomplishments at Jiang Shipping that Jiang Cheng was part of or achievements in his personal life.

Huaisang must have researched before coming here.  The thought loosens some of the tension in Jiang Cheng’s chest, but also throws him off-balance, just as disarming as Huaisang’s leg knocking against his under the table or the brush of his fingers against Jiang Cheng’s wrist.

After waiting for disaster all day, the quiet end of dinner is anti-climactic.  Zixuan and Yanli offer to do the dishes, Huaisang formally thanks Ziyuan for the meal and doesn’t blink at the way she ignores him, then they get away with a hasty escape upstairs with the excuse of exhaustion from a long day of travel and still needing to unpack.

Jiang Cheng actually sneaks out the back door and down the shoreline to where he won’t be visible from the house.  He stands in the cool water, letting the rhythm of the waves hitting his ankles sooth him, and tries to breathe.

-/-

When Jiang Cheng finally finishes his night time routine and returns to their room, he finds the long, teal curtains of the window pulled back, the window itself thrown open as far as it can go, letting in a gentle breeze and the faint sounds of water hitting the shore.  Huaisang sits cross-legged on the bed facing it, sketchbook on his lap and pencil in hand, forest green silk pajama set standing out against the blue quilt on the bed in the dim yellow light from the lamp.  His hair is down and still kinky from the tiny, elaborate braids that keep it away from his face during the day, framing his face and tickling his cheeks.  Huaisang tucks a lock behind his ear, then returns to his sketching, pencil moving rhythmically across the page to add small lines and the hint of shading.  His eyes flick between the view out the window and his page, lips rolled together while he concentrates.  Jiang Cheng steps toward the bed in an attempt to see over his shoulder.

“What are you drawing?”

Huaisang jumps, dark line of graphite bisecting the page and the partially-transcribed view from the window on it.

“Jiang Cheng!” Huaisang whines.  “It’s ruined!”

“I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you,” he defends.  “You’ll have more time to draw it again.  You can’t even see out the window right now, anyway.”

Huaisang’s lips twist into a pout.

“Do you promise?”

Jiang Cheng scowls.

“We’re here for a week.  I don’t control what you do in your free time.”

Huaisang continues to pout, but he doesn’t argue, just closes the sketchbook and puts it on the bedside table.  The lock of hair falls in his face, and he tucks it behind his ear again.  Jiang Cheng’s fingers itch.

“Is it time for bed?” Huaisang asks, already pulling back the covers and slipping underneath them.  Jiang Cheng feels a twinge of annoyance that he claimed the side nearest the window without asking, but he shoves it down.  Huaisang is doing him a favor by being here, and he has already helped out immensely just by expertly navigating dinner.

Besides, he’s already made himself at home, squirming under the covers until he finds the most comfortable position, quilt pulled up to his chin even though the breeze from off the lake barely cuts through the summer heat this far away from shore.  It would be too much of a pain to move him now.  Jiang Cheng can’t bring himself to try.

“Jiang Cheng?”

Huaisang blinks at him.  Jiang Cheng clears his throat.

“Yeah.  Bed.”

He ignores Huaisang’s eyes as he strips out of his shirt and gets under the covers on the other side.  They smell like the crisp, clean detergent that his family has washed all of their sheets in since he was a kid, and suddenly he’s seven years old again, climbing under the covers of a too-large bed in the room that is just as much his bedroom as the one at their apartment in New York even if he only spends a week or two here at a time, listening to the same waves outside hitting the same shore.

The sheets rustle next to him.  Jiang Cheng looks over at Huaisang, turned on his side to face Jiang Cheng with his hands tucked under his pillow.  Backlit by the lamp, strange shadows settle across his face, darkening all of his features.

“It went well today, didn’t it?” Huaisang asks.  “I didn’t mess up?”

Jiang Cheng blinks, then shakes his head.

“My parents hate you, but we haven’t been kicked out yet,” he says.  Huaisang pouts again.

“A-Cheng, has anyone ever told you that you’re very pessimistic?”

Lighten up, Jiang Cheng!  Everything’s fine, a million different memories of Wei Wuxian say in his mind, right up until things stopped being fine and his brother disappeared for five years.

“We did well,” Huaisang says decisively.  “No one suspects anything.”

“Can you keep it up for a full week?” he asks.

“Can you?”

“Of course,” he shoots back, hackles raised at the challenge.  Huaisang smiles.

“Then we have nothing to worry about!”

Jiang Cheng clenches his jaw, but nods after a moment’s delay.  There’s no way to articulate the uneasy twisting of his guts or the heavy pounding of his heart every time Huaisang sends him a reassuring smile.

But it’s been going… well.  As well as can be expected, at least.

Huaisang yawns, eyes scrunched shut.  Jiang Cheng has the ridiculous thought that he looks like a kitten.

“I’m tired,” Huaisang says once he’s done, blinking slowly.  “Good night, A-Cheng.  See you tomorrow.”

He turns over and turns off the lamp before Jiang Cheng can respond, plunging the room into darkness.  Jiang Cheng turns his gaze back to the ceiling, blinking at nothing while his eyes adjust.  He can hear Huaisang shift next to him, the darkness making him feel both further and closer than he actually is.  He lets out a happy sigh, then fades into silence.  Jiang Cheng listens to the gentle sound of the waves and buzz of bugs outside.  When a particularly strong breeze passes through, he can hear the faint tinkling of wind chimes, the ones that his mother removed when Wei Wuxian disappeared that only got returned to their spot on the shepherd's crook last year.

If he listens closer under that, he can hear Huaisang’s steady breathing, a deep, rhythmic inhale and exhale.  It makes his skin prickle with goosebumps, even though he’s heard it before.  Years ago, at Cloud Recess, he always shared a cabin with Huaisang, and Huaisang always took the bunk bed next to his, both of them in the bottom bunks because Huaisang liked being able to escape bed easily and Wei Wuxian always claimed the top one.  The cabins were loud with the breathing of a few other boys and the quiet, ambient noises of their summer camp, but when Jiang Cheng couldn’t sleep, he would listen for either Wei Wuxian or Nie Huaisang.

Huaisang used to hum and sigh a lot as he slept, while Wei Wuxian would toss and turn in the bunk above him, always restless.

Jiang Cheng wonders if Huaisang still favors sleeping on his stomach, or if that’s one of the many things that have changed in the years since they’ve slept in the same room.

He tilts his head to look at Huaisang again, his profile just a lump under the covers.  He closes his eyes and wills himself to fall asleep.  Instead, he listens to Huaisang, matching his own breathing to the steady inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale.

-/-

Jiang Cheng wakes to birdsong and one of Huaisang’s small, happy sighs in his ear.  He squeezes his eyes shut harder against the sun streaming through the window, but he knows that it’s futile.  Once he wakes up in the morning, he’s never able to go back to sleep.  He’s been like this since he was a teenager.  Even when he stayed up too late the night before chasing Wei Wuxian as he carried out one of his schemes, he always woke up before his brother and couldn’t steal any extra minutes of sleep.

Nie Huaisang was more similar to Wei Wuxian than Jiang Cheng in that regard.  At Cloud Recess, he fell asleep at every opportunity: in class most often, but during meals and at free time as well, only seeming to truly come alive in late afternoon with energy that lasted late into the night.

Jiang Cheng sighs and finally opens his eyes, staring at the ornate glass light cover hanging from the ceiling.  He shifts and frowns when he can’t stretch out properly, only then registering the warmth of a body next to his and the hand curled around his bicep.

Jiang Cheng looks over and is met with a view of the top of Huaisang’s head, dark hair spilling out against the sheets.  He’s curled up small, knees brushing Jiang Cheng’s thigh and forehead barely still on a pillow for how it’s almost brushing Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.  One of his hands is tucked under his head, but the other is loosely draped over Jiang Cheng’s arm, curled next to his ribs, tethering them together.

It’s a huge bed, but they’re both used to sleeping alone.  It makes sense that they gravitated towards the middle with no regard for who they were sharing with.

Jiang Cheng stares at him, marveling at the fact that the small puffs of air landing on his shoulder with every exhale don’t tickle or bother him.  Everything about this situation bothers him less than it should, from the breach of his personal space to the excessive warmth of having another body this close in the middle of summer.  Huaisang’s hand twitches, and Jiang Cheng holds his breath until he’s sure that he’s not waking up or moving.

It’s been so long since someone touched him like this.  Summers used to be full of arms thrown around his shoulders, playful shoves, sitting shoulder to shoulder with his siblings or the other kids at Cloud Recess, the occasional hand on his shoulder from one of his parents that would keep him afloat for months .  Jiang Cheng drank in all of those touches, giving them back as much as he could, but they’ve been exceedingly rare for years.  First, they aged out of Cloud Recess, eliminating in-person contact with almost all of his friends.  Then Wei Wuxian began pulling away and went on the run.  Yanli got married and moved halfway across the country.  Wei Wuxian disappeared.  Even when Jiang Cheng was in law school, interactions with the other employees at Jiang Shipping gained strange power imbalances that came with being the heir to the company, with pressure from his parents to keep himself at a distance.  When they discussed law school beyond calling it a frivolous waste of his time, they made it clear that every other student was an opponent, not an ally, and between his studies and his work at the company, he had no time to form connections with anyone.

It’s been a very, very long time since Jiang Cheng has had contact like this, especially outside of anyone besides Yanli or Jin Ling.  He didn’t realize precisely how much he missed it.

Jiang Cheng carefully extracts himself from Huaisang’s hold.  There’s no use growing accustomed to something that he’ll lose after one week.

The rest of the house is quiet as he creeps down the stairs.  His parents are no doubt up and about somewhere, but from his memory they make themselves scarce in the mornings.  He always gets up before his siblings, so he puts on a pot of coffee and idly gazes out the window as it brews, watching a sparrow flutter around the birdfeeder in the early morning light.

Their dock faces west so he doesn’t get a view of the sunrise, but Jiang Cheng still takes his coffee cup to the end of it to watch the late-dawn colors spill across the sky as they fade into a clear, light blue.  He lets his feet dangle off the end into the water, eased by the rhythmic way it rises halfway up his calves, then back down with every small ripple making its way to shore.  Jiang Cheng sips his coffee and looks out across the sparkling water and exhales for what feels like the first time since he arrived at Lotus Pier.

(art by Cheer)

Jiang Cheng has loved the water ever since he can remember, some of his earliest memories being his parents teaching him how to swim in this lake.  In those memories, they’re always gentle with him, carefully patting his back when he accidentally inhales water and exclaiming about how fast he’s getting every time he races from one dock to the other.  That praise stopped sometime after Wei Wuxian joined them and learned how to swim better than he did, even if Wei Wuxian chose to join the diving team at school instead of competing in speed events like Jiang Cheng.

Still, even as his mother grew more bad-tempered and his father grew more distant, this place held his happy memories.  Both of his parents softened here.  They argued with each other less and stayed civil while at Lotus Pier, even after they separated.  Yanli’s illness felt more manageable away from the city in their own little retreat and with more time for her to relax now that everyone else had time for household tasks.  The house used to be full of Wei Wuxian’s wild laughter and the splash of them doing cannonballs off of the dock or the boat, or them talking entirely too loudly out on the dock when they were supposed to be sleeping.

Things changed when Wei Wuxian left.  Between the investigations into Jiang Shipping’s possible ties with an infamous hacker and accused domestic terrorist, the news running wild with barely-researched information on the Wen Corporation’s data breach and ties to organized crime, and Wei Wuxian becoming a wanted criminal supposedly harboring known fugitives, Lotus Pier was nearly destroyed.  It was arson, but there wasn’t enough evidence directly connecting it to Wen Chao or the Wen family as a whole for the lawyers to get a conviction.

Jiang Cheng enrolled in law school the next day.  Zixuan and Yanli’s personal data was leaked on the internet with Wei Wuxian’s signature six months later and someone used it to bypass their security and nearly murder Zixuan.  Wei Wuxian completely disappeared immediately after.  Lotus Pier fell quiet, tension simmering at every family gathering and a conspicuous empty chair at the table.  Jiang Cheng looked for Wei Wuxian everywhere, following every possible digital footprint, no matter how unlikely.  He needed answers.  He needed to know what warning signs of Wei Wuxian’s betrayal he should’ve looked out for.  He needed to know why Wei Wuxian never came home.

Jiang Cheng always knew that he wasn’t dead, no matter what anyone said.  He always had the absurd thought that he would feel it when one of his siblings died, no matter how estranged they may be.  They’re part of him.  Wei Wuxian is literally part of him, because he gave Jiang Cheng a kidney during high school.

And then, after too many years of empty searches and unanswered questions pulsing in him like a stab wound, Wei Wuxian showed up at Lotus Pier with a husband and a son, looking more like a trespasser than someone who grew up there.

Yu Ziyuan found him and brought him back.  Jiang Cheng still doesn’t know why, since she seems to hate him just as much as she used to and it’s only Wangji who keeps her from crossing the line at every opportunity.

Wangji also likes to keep Jiang Cheng from talking to Wei Wuxian at every opportunity.  He hasn’t gotten his answers, and he hasn’t gotten any sort of explanation.

He hasn’t gotten his brother back.  Lotus Pier still doesn’t feel like the happy home it once was.  He doesn’t know if they can ever go back.

Jiang Cheng sighs and takes a sip of his coffee, squinting against the sun reflecting off the lake.  Jiang Cheng longs to slip under the water, the isolation more acceptable down there, but he’s not dressed for it.

Even the fish and waterfowl seem to be hiding from him this morning, everything eerily quiet and still.

A sound near the house draws his attention and he twists around, hoping to see Yanli or Huaisang.  Instead, he’s met with Wangji and Sizhui, both of them already immaculately dressed and put together with their twin headbands across their foreheads, meandering down a path leading towards the other dock and the road beyond.  Sizhui raises his hand in the beginning of a wave and Jiang Cheng stares at him, wondering how these two people became the most important people in Wei Wuxian’s life when that title used to belong to him and Yanli.

Wangji pulls Sizhui away before Jiang Cheng can think to respond, leading him towards the house with a stony frown.  Jiang Cheng scowls and turns back to the lake, taking an aggressive drink of his coffee.

By the time he finishes the cup, he feels marginally more like a person, but no less annoyed at everything.  If he has to see Wangji give him disapproving looks for the entire day he’s going to commit an act of violence.  There are no family plans on the docket today, so perhaps Jiang Cheng can spend the entire day in the water.  If he’s lucky, maybe he’ll drown.

The screen door slamming behind him snaps him out of his thoughts, and he turns again to find Huaisang rubbing his eyes on the stoop, dressed in smart gray shorts and a fancy green shirt with some sort of pattern on it.  Despite the full outfit, he looks ready to climb back into bed, and it takes him a few moments of gazing blankly at the yard before he sees Jiang Cheng at the end of the dock.

He smiles and picks his way across the grass and dock to Jiang Cheng, still looking soft and unguarded despite his impeccable fashion and the reappearance of tiny, neat braids in his hair.  He carefully sits cross-legged next to Jiang Cheng and peers suspiciously at the water below, then at Jiang Cheng’s coffee cup.

“It’s empty,” he says, tilting it so Huaisang can see the coffee ring at the bottom.  “I left the rest of the pot in the kitchen.”

Huaisang pouts.  Jiang Cheng thinks he should time how quickly after he wakes up he pouts for the first time in a day.  He could probably turn it into a betting pool if he had anyone to bet with.

“I was going to go for a swim soon,” he offers.  “Do you want to join?”

Huaisang looks down at the lake.

“I would love to, but…”

“But?” he prompts.

“I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”

Jiang Cheng stares at him.

“You didn’t bring a swimsuit?  To a lakehouse ?”

“I can’t swim!” Huaisang says, throwing his hands up and nearly smacking Jiang Cheng in the process.  “I don’t own a swimsuit!”

Jiang Cheng’s mouth drops open.

“How can you not swim?  We went swimming at Cloud Recess all the time!”

“I stayed near you and Wei Wuxian,” Huaisang explains simply.  “I knew you two wouldn’t let me drown.”

Jiang Cheng tries to retrace his memories of their summer camp, recontextualizing every time Huaisang grabbed him when they ventured into deeper water and how he made a game of having Wei Wuxian hold him up, clinging to him in a way that made Jiang Cheng look away with an annoyed huff.

“We’re getting you a swimsuit,” Jiang Cheng says with no room for argument.  “I know a place in town, and I’m teaching you the basics of swimming today.  We’re spending the entirety of tomorrow on a boat in the middle of the lake.  You have to at least know how to float so you don’t drown.”

“Jiang Cheng,” he whines, falling into him.  Jiang Cheng considers pushing him in the water to prove his point, even if it’s only a few feet deep at this part of the lake.

“We’ll leave right after lunch,” he says.  Huaisang groans again.  “Stop whining, you big baby.  You don’t have to do anything except try on a few trunks.”

“This is supposed to be a vacation,” Huaisang protests.

“I’m going to get you a cup of coffee,” Jiang Cheng says.  Sometimes, it’s best to divert rather than engage in the whining.  He learned that from Jin Ling.  “We can vacation after I’m sure you won’t die getting in the water.”

He stands before Huaisang can protest again.  When he looks back, halfway to the house, he sees Huaisang sitting on the dock, leaning back on his hands with his face tilted towards the radiant sun.  He shakes his head and continues on his way, glad he’ll at least be getting out of the house today.

-/-

Jiang Cheng shuffles Huaisang into the car just after lunch, which consists of simple sandwiches because Yanli has overtaken the kitchen to prepare her famous lotus root and pork rib soup for dinner.  Huaisang protests through Jiang Cheng finding Zixuan for the keys and pushing him out the door, but once they begin the drive and Jiang Cheng has swatted his hand away from the radio, he turns his attention to the window, carefully observing everything.

He stays silent as they pass by tall trees and winding roads that Jiang Cheng could still navigate with his eyes closed.  Jiang Cheng still connects the few houses they pass with the families they belong to, even though some of them have updated their siding or planted different produce in their garden’s than he remembers.  He hasn’t spoken to many of them in years, but he played with their children once upon a time and sold them lemonade on the street corner before his parents began arguing over whether it was a useful entrepreneurial experience or beneath their station.

Trees and winding roads soon give way to the town’s main street, with colorful shop fronts on either side and a few cars and people wandering between them.  The village has a permanent population of only 300, but many stores are family-run businesses that expand their hours during the summer when the lakes are teeming with visitors.  Most of the owners commute in from surrounding towns where they hold down other, supplemental jobs for the rest of the year.  A few of the stores have changed since Jiang Cheng was little, but most of them are familiar.

He and Wei Wuxian used to terrorize the staff of that ice cream parlor.  His mother always took him to that salon to get his hair cut, and Stacy was the only stylist that she allowed to help them.  The grocery store stocks ground white pepper, dark soy sauce, and a selection of traditional rice wines specifically because his father pays them extra to do so when they visit.

“Where are we going?” Huaisang asks once Jiang Cheng finds a parking spot, turning in a slow circle to look at all of the surrounding stores.

“Two Harbors,” Jiang Cheng replies, holding open the door to the store right in front of them.  Huaisang glances up at the white and blue sign hanging above the awning, then steps into the boutique, rows and rows of colorful, fun clothing greeting him.  His face lights up, far more enthusiastic about this shopping trip now that he’s actually seen what it entails.

Jiang Cheng, on the other hand, feels dread settle in his bones.

“Hello, welcome to–Marius!” the clerk behind the counter says, brightening when she sees him.  Huaisang’s eyes widen as a woman with bright red hair and big, chunky jewelry rushes over to pull Jiang Cheng into a hug.  He tolerates it simply because he’s known her his whole life.

He tolerates the western name for that reason, too.  She tried her best to get the right inflection of Jiang Cheng when they first met when he was a kid, but Jiang Cheng hates the way that his name sounds with a western tongue, and his mom chose a pretentious western name for him when he was a kid that he used to use often but has now almost entirely disregarded.  Still, it feels rude to correct her decades after their first meeting, and she is one of few adults that has his full respect.

“Hello, Marianne,” he says.  “It’s good to see you.”

“Oh, honey, you’ve grown,” she says, just like she does every time he comes in despite the fact that he had his last growth spurt years ago.  At least she doesn’t pinch his cheeks like the aunties in their neighborhood used to when they lived in New York’s Chinatown when he was a kid.

“And who is this young man?” she says, turning to Huaisang.  He quickly pastes on a big, bright smile and waves.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“This is Huaisang,” he says.

“Huaisang?” she tries.

“Eugene,” he offers, waving again.  Jiang Cheng bites the inside of his lip to try to contain his smirk.

He’ll never get over the fact that Huaisang’s western name is fucking Eugene .  At least Marius isn’t lame, even if it sounds just as weird to American ears.

“Unless I’ve missed something, I haven’t seen you here before.  Has Marius been hiding you, or is this your first time in town?”

“Both!” Huaisang says brightly.

“Eugene is my boyfriend,” Jiang Cheng cuts in before Huaisang can dig them into some sort of hole.  “We’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“Aw, just like your brother and his hubby!”

Jiang Cheng isn’t quick enough to stop his expression from souring, but thankfully Marianne is more focused on Huaisang.

“We met at the same summer camp!” Huaisang says, sliding an arm around Jiang Cheng’s waist and resting his head on his shoulder.  “It took a while for Marius to fall in love with me, but we got here in the end!”

Marianne coos.  Jiang Cheng worries that he’s going to have to revise his earlier thought about her not pinching their cheeks.

“What brings you boys to my shop today?” she asks.  “Need an outfit for date night?”

“ Eugene didn’t bring a swimsuit.”

Huaisang pinches his side, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction.  Marianne’s eyebrows shoot up, then she laughs a warm, deep belly laugh.

“Honey, you came to a lake house.  Most of the village is water.  How do you forget your swimsuit?”

“I don’t have one in the first place?” Huaisang says sheepishly, shoulders creeping up towards his ears.  Marianne tsks good-naturedly.

“Swimsuits are over there.  If there’s a design you like but your size isn’t there, let me know and I’ll look in the back to see if we have it or something else you’d like.  Most of my stock is back there.”

She waves a hand lazily towards the side of the store designated for water-related outfits, then returns to her counter.  Marianne doesn’t hover, which is one of the things that Jiang Cheng (and his mother) likes about her.

What really keeps them coming back to her boutique, though, is the clothing.  Everything at Two Harbors is sustainably crafted with high-quality materials, and the patterns are unique and vibrant while still being tasteful.  The options here beat the options at any outlet mall, and the Jiangs aren’t picky enough about the brand of their clothing to fuss over whether they’re recognizable to the public or not.

Huaisang observes the line of swimming trunks ahead of him, tapping his finger against his chin in thought.  They come in different lengths and styles, some with pockets or a drawstring, some without.  Huaisang wanders away from the more form-fitting ones, which Jiang Cheng is grateful for.  He begins leafing through the options on the racks, considering blue shorts with colored fish on them, stripes, polka dots that he pulls a face at, explosions of florals, and a myriad of other designs.

“Here,” he says, pulling out a few and handing them to Jiang Cheng without looking.  Jiang Cheng purses his lips, sorting them into his own categories of let him try on and return when Huaisang isn’t looking .

"Jiang Cheng?" Huaisang asks.  "What color do you think looks best on me?"

"I don't know," Jiang Cheng frowns.  "Not red.  I don't think I've ever seen you wear it."

Huaisang nods.

"I don't care what you wear as long as it's not a speedo," Jiang Cheng adds.  Huaisang looks at the two separate stacks of hangers he has accumulated and raises his eyebrows.

"You don't have any opinion?  None at all?"

This is a test.  Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

"Okay!" Huaisang says brightly.  "I like this one!"

He pulls out a ridiculously small, fluorescent orange pair of trunks with neon green polka dots.  It is without a doubt the worst piece of clothing in the entire store.

Jiang Cheng has had a lot of practice schooling his features in the courtroom and the boardroom, but he doesn't bother to hide his disgust and displeasure here.  Huaisang laughs, face scrunching in mirth.

"Don't worry Jiang Cheng," he says.  "I have better taste than that.  Your parents won't like me very much if I blind them with neon colors tomorrow."

"I don't think a swimsuit is your biggest challenge when it comes to them," he says.

"Every little bit helps," Huaisang muses, taking another pair of swim trunks off the rack.  He ponders purple lotuses for a moment, then hands it to Jiang Cheng despite it obviously being a few sizes too big.

"Are you attempting to try on the whole store?" he asks.

"Only half of it," Huaisang assures him cheerfully.

"Procrastinating here will not save you from your swimming lesson later," Jiang Cheng says.  Huaisang pouts.  "You need to learn how to float!  This is an essential life skill to ensure that you don't die!"

"Aw, are you concerned for me, A-Cheng?  Do you care about me?"  Huaisang asks, batting his eyelashes at him.  Jiang Cheng's glances at Marianne, seemingly engrossed in her bookkeeping.

"Shut up," he mumbles.  "We're boyfriends."

"I think it's sweet," Huaisang says.  "I love you, too."

Jiang Cheng's heart somersaults in his chest, then repeats the motion as if he didn't get the message the first time.

There's only one witness in the store, and she's not paying attention enough to care about their cover story.  Huaisang takes the stacks of swimsuits from his hands, carefully maneuvering the clothing into his arms, halfway tangling their fingers together as he goes.

"Ms. Marianne?" he asks before Jiang Cheng can complain.  "Can you check the back for something like these in my size?"

What follows is a long, one-person fashion show.  Huaisang commandeers the boutique's one dressing room with his mountain of options, and he shows Jiang Cheng and Marianne every single one.

The first one isn't bad, a longer pair with blue and green stripes.  Huaisang strikes a pose, turning this way and that to show off all angles (and he has some very nice angles).  Things only get more obnoxious from there when Marianne turns the music higher to give him the "proper atmosphere for a fashion show."  He comes out in short floral trunks that he shows off with a shimmy but that he still manages to look great in, gray ones with a fish pattern on them, a mountain scene that reminds Jiang Cheng of one of Huaisang's fancy old fans that he sometimes waves around, and a short red pair that Jiang Cheng is certain he only tried on to see his reaction.  (Marianne laughs.  Jiang Cheng isn't sure what his face is doing, but he hopes his rage comes across clearly, although Huaisang doesn't cower.)

Marianne was able to find a pair of the lotus-printed trunks in Huaisang's size, and he saves that one for near the end.

"What do you think?" he asks, turning this way and that.  "Do you think your parents will like me more if I wear lotuses?  Or will that seem like I'm trying too hard?"

Jiang Cheng hums.  Seeing Huaisang wearing a flower that he so closely associates with home tugs at him in an unexpected, unidentifiable way.

"Honey, you're a delight," Marianne says.  "If they don't already like you, there's something wrong with them."

Hey, those are my parents, Jiang Cheng doesn't say, nor his brother is in jail for murder and his company is absolutely tanking under his leadership, so my parents had a negative view of him before he got here.

Huaisang beams.  Jiang Cheng wants to keep that smile on his face.

"Go with whatever one you like," Jiang Cheng says.  "Go with a few of them.  Maybe if you have more than one swimsuit, you'll learn how to swim better."

"Are you treating me?" Huaisang asks coyly, sauntering closer.  "I have such a generous boyfriend!"

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.  It's not like either of them can't afford it.

"Thank you, darling," Huaisang says, darting forward to press his lips against Jiang Cheng's cheek lighting-quick, barely a peck.  Jiang Cheng's cheeks flame.  Next to him, Marianne coos.

"Shut up," he mumbles.  "Continue your fashion show.  I don't want to be here all day."

Huaisang winks at him over his shoulder and flounces back to the dressing room door, stopping to shake his ass in front of it as one final goodbye before entering.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Marius, I hope you keep him,” Marianne says.  “I want to see him again next year.”

Jiang Cheng looks at her, and she raises her eyebrows in a challenge.

"He's good for you!  You need some silliness!"

"Marius can be silly if you get him at the right time," Huaisang says, emerging from the dressing room with a very classy pair of royal blue swimming trunks with a tasteful yellow stripe at the bottom.  "Did you know that once at summer camp, he helped me catch birds and hide them in our cabin?  Every time one of them made a noise he would mimic it so people thought it was just him.  We made it up to five birds before we got caught, and that's just because two of them didn't get along."

"And because Wangji was looking for an excuse to get Wei Wuxian in trouble and kept monitoring our cabin extra closely," Jiang Cheng says, remembering the chaos of building a hidden bird sanctuary, then bargaining with other bunkmates to keep it a secret as they gradually found out.

"We would've gotten into so much more trouble without you," Huaisang says, cocking a hip.  "Of course, half of the ideas were yours."

"There were not!" he protests.

"Yeah?   Who suggested that I practice giving illegal stick-n-poke tattoos on you?"

"That's-- You--"

"No way," Marianne gasps.  "Our Marius?"

Jiang Cheng's skin itches on his upper thigh, right where the small, crude daisy has faded into a gray outline.

"I was going through a rebellious phase," he says.

"He asked for a flower," Huaisang continues.  "Like this one.  See?"

He twists to show her the inside of his ankle, one of the few places that he could reach when he drew the design on himself over a decade ago in their cabin during free time.  Jiang Cheng remembers the way that his face had twisted in pain and determination as he applied the tattoo, tiny beads of blood forming on his skin.  Jiang Cheng had expected him to cry since he does it so easily, but Huaisang told them afterwards that he wanted it to be good, so he couldn't cry on it.

"Wei Wuxian has one too," Huaisang says.

Jiang Cheng doesn't know if he still does, actually.  He wouldn't be surprised if he got it covered, especially since he returned home with more tattoos than when he left.

"That's adorable," Marianne says.  "Are you a tattoo artist now?"

Huaisang laughs, although there's a sour tint to it that Jiang Cheng doesn't like.

"No, no.  I'm temporarily running a company that makes knives.  It's my brother's, but he can't keep it up right now."

Jiang Cheng purses his lips.

"You had an art gallery though.  Out in Colorado, right?" he says, remembering the invitation to the opening that he received years ago, too caught up in his law studies to take a weekend off to travel for it.  Huaisang blinks at him, eyes wide.  Jiang Cheng pulls up more memories of gossip and news that he's accumulated on their business partners over the years.  "And you designed that line of decorative knives that were a special run."

"Oh," Huaisang says.  "Yeah, I--I did do that.  We thought it might be nice to try to expand beyond kitchen and utility knives.  Da-ge tried to get me to design something practical, but it didn't work.  Those were the only designs of mine that he ever used."

"And the art gallery?" Marianne asks.  Huaisang shrugs, trying to smile and not quite succeeding.

"I had to close it when I took over the company.  I didn't have time for it anymore."

“Oh,” Marianne says.  “I’m sorry, honey.”

Huaisang shrugs.

“It’s okay,” he says, but he doesn’t elaborate.  Jiang Cheng isn’t sure that there’s anything for him to add, because everything about his situation sucks worse the more that he thinks about it.

“Go try on the rest of your swimsuits,” Jiang Cheng says.  “I’m not letting you get a blue one.  I need to be able to see you in the water if you sink.”

“Such a thoughtful boyfriend!” Huaisang enthuses, taking the escape for what it is.  He blows Jiang Cheng an obnoxious kiss before he heads back to the dressing room.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but pretends to catch it out of the air anyway just for the way it makes Huaisang light up.

Jiang Cheng buys him three swimsuits: the one with the mountain scene painted on it, one in a deep forest green with a golden bird pattern, and the pair with the lotuses.  He also ends up buying Huaisang two beach towels, another pair of sunglasses, a long sleeve shirt more appropriate for spring or fall than summer, and gets talked into a new dress shirt for himself.  It takes longer than he wanted and he spends more money than he planned, but Huaisang is smiling freely again by the end of it, and that’s worth more than the money or the time.

-/-

Huaisang stands cautiously on shore, arms wrapped around himself as he looks out at the water, clad solely in his new mountain swim trunks.  Jiang Cheng is trying to be patient, he really is, but they’ve been out here for a few minutes already and he’s getting ready to throw Huaisang over his shoulder, then off the end of the dock.

“Will you get in already?” he asks.

“But what if it’s cold?”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes up to the sky for the fiftieth time since dinner ended.

“It’ll be colder once the sun sets, which it’s been threatening to do since we got out here.  Weren’t you complaining about being hot earlier?”

“Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang whines, “I complain about everything!”

“Nie Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng says, voice hardening.  “Get in the water.”

Huaisang pouts, looking at the water like it’s about to bite him.  He finally dips one toe in, then steps from the grassy shoreline onto the rocky beginning of the lake.

“Oh,” he says, taking another step so the water pools around his ankles.  “This isn’t bad.”

“No, it’s not,” Jiang Cheng says, wading out ahead of him.  The water is cool, refreshing but not uncomfortable.  He makes it to the end of the dock before he realizes that Huaisang isn't behind him.  When he looks back he's thankfully still in the water instead of having run back to the house, but he hasn't progressed any further.

"Huaisang?" he asks.  Huaisang looks at him, arms still protectively around his middle, expression wavering.

"Is this a good idea?" he asks.  "I've survived this long, haven't I?"

Jiang Cheng frowns.

"Are you scared?"

"No, no," Huaisang laughs, still shrinking in on himself.  "Of course not.  What would you do if I was?"

Jiang Cheng wades back towards him, goosebumps erupting over his arms as more and more of his damp body is exposed to the air.  Huaisang stares at his chest rather than meets his eyes.

"I'd say that the only way to get over your fear is to face it," Jiang Cheng says, grabbing his hand and giving it a tug.  Huaisang takes one reluctant step forward.  "Besides, I'm here.  I'm not going to let anything bad happen.  It'll be just like Cloud Recess."

"The water at Cloud Recess was clearer."

"Nothing is going to eat you here, if that's what you're worried about," he says, tugging on Huaisang's hand again.  Huaisang looks down at the miniature clouds of sand their feet are kicking up now that they've left the rocks of the immediate shore behind, hesitantly shuffling forward.

"We're just going to go to the end of the dock," Jiang Cheng assures him, walking backwards to keep their hands linked.  "The water is waist-high there."

"What is that!" Huaisang shrieks, jumping at Jiang Cheng and clinging to his shoulders.  Jiang Cheng has to quickly switch to a bridal carry or they're both going down.

"What?" he asks, waiting for the water to settle so he can see what the fuck Huaisang is worked up about now.

"Something touched my foot!"

"Weeds, Huaisang.  It was a lakeweed," Jiang Cheng sighs.  "Get off me."

He tries to drop him, but Huaisang is hanging on too tightly, so Jiang Cheng walks to the end of the dock where the water is a little higher and lets his legs collapse under him, submerging them both.  Huaisang flails, hitting him in the face, and Jiang Cheng kicks away, enjoying the feeling of finally being underwater after going so long away from the lake.  Everything muffles, his world narrowing to the water sliding against his skin.  He digs his fingers into the soft sand, flipping onto his stomach and slipping along under the surface until his lungs ask for air.

"Jiang Cheng!" Huaisang whines as soon as he surfaces.  "Why would you do that?  I'm all wet now!"

Jiang Cheng combs his hair back, blinking water out of his eyes.  Huaisang pouts by the dock, looking slightly like a drowned cat.

"It was the only way you were going to put your head under the water, and this will be a lot easier if you're not afraid of getting wet," he says.  "I warned you to let go."

Jiang Cheng swims over to him, determined not to walk any more than he has to now that he's in the water.  As soon as he gets close enough, Huaisang sends a wave of lake water directly at his face.

"You--"

Jiang Cheng sputters.  Huaisang's giggle ricochets over the water, harmonizing with the gentle smack of the waves hitting their shoreline.  When Jiang Cheng finally clears his eyes, Huaisang is looping around the other side of the dock to get away.

Jiang Cheng slides right under it, cutting off his escape route with his own wave of water.

"Jiang Cheng!" Huaisang cries, sending another splash back.  Jiang Cheng ducks underwater and grabs his leg, sending him off balance and toppling under the surface.  Huaisang kicks out and Jiang Cheng retreats, but only enough to dodge, swooping in again with an arm around his waist to drag Huaisang further out to sea.

"No!  Kidnapping!" Huaisang cries when he breaches the surface again.  "At least demand a high ransom for me!"

"I'm asking for one dollar and returning you at the first opportunity," Jiang Cheng says.  Huaisang gasps in offense.

"No!  No returns!  You're stuck with me for six more days!"

Huaisang squirms until he can get an arm around Jiang Cheng's shoulders, allowing himself to be dragged along in the water while Jiang Cheng finds a suitable place for them to practice.  Huaisang’s skin is warm every place that it touches his, and he's only now realizing exactly how much skin that is.

"See?" Huaisang says, quieter.  "This isn't so bad.  Why can't I keep clinging to you or Wei Wuxian?"

Jiang Cheng feels something hot and ugly flare in his chest.

"Lan Wangji will kill you if you hang off Wei Wuxian like this," he spits.  "He's a possessive bastard."

"And you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Huaisang muses.  Jiang Cheng opens his mouth to retort, but Huaisang laughs and lightly hits his chest before he can.

"Don't worry, A-Cheng.  You'll teach me how to float tonight and then the only person I'll cling to is you, okay?"

Jiang Cheng doesn't have a reply to that, so he doesn't try, planting himself in the water instead.  They're a bit further out from the dock than he originally intended, but before the bottom of the lake dips out and the water gets too deep to stand.  Huaisang will be fine here.

"The first key to floating is to stay calm," Jiang Cheng says, carefully letting go of Huaisang and stepping back.  Huaisang follows him, locking them together with his arm around Jiang Cheng's shoulders.  "The second key is to let go of me so you can actually learn."

Huaisang lets out an over-dramatic sigh that lasts at least three seconds before he finally puts a suitable amount of space between them.

"What now?" he asks, standing with his hands on his hips, half of his torso covered in water.  He squints against the sun, face painted golden by it, and Jiang Cheng shifts so he won’t have to look at it without his sunglasses.

"Well, we're going to try floating on your back.  You'll want to make yourself big, so put your arms out to the side, and it's important to keep your head back or you're going to collapse your chest and go down.  It's going to feel a little weird because the water will go over your ears, but it won't splash over your face unless the waves are really big, so you should be fine here."

Huaisang presses his lips together with an unhappy frown, eyebrows creasing.

"I'll help you," Jiang Cheng assures him.  “Just be sure your shoulders are back and press your hips up.”

Huaisang drops his arms and rolls his shoulders back once, then again.  Jiang Cheng moves forward so he can support him, water gently swishing around them.

“Alright, now just lean back and kick up,” he says.  Huaisang glances at him, then returns his gaze to the sky.  He slowly lowers himself until his head is poking out of the water, then tips so he’s somewhat horizontal.  Jiang Cheng puts a hand at his lower back to help support him, pushing the rest of his body up until he’s floating on the surface of the water.

“See?” he says.  “Easy as anything.”

“I got water in my mouth,” he mutters, but he stays still.  Jiang Cheng lets his hand drift away from his back, carefully watching Huaisang’s body gently rocking on the water.  Huaisang does well for a few moments before his legs start sinking and he panics, splashing them both until he lands on his feet again.

“What was that?” he asks.  “I was doing exactly what you said and I still sank!  This is hopeless.  We should go back to the house.”

“Stop being such a baby,” Jiang Cheng says, tugging him back when he starts to march towards shore.  “Your lower body is naturally heavier than your upper body.  That’s why keeping the hips up is so important.  You can move a little if you start to sink, or sometimes putting your arms up rather than out to the side helps.”

“Jiang Cheng…”

“Try it again,” Jiang Cheng says, nudging him.  “This is an essential skill.”

“Can’t be that essential if I’ve survived until now without it,” Huaisang grumbles.

“It’s an essential skill to get my parents to like you,” Jiang Cheng elaborates.  “And I’d rather that they approve of my fake boyfriend than insult you the minute you leave and demand that I break up with you so they can set me up with someone else.”

Huaisang heaves a sigh, but tips back and tries to float again.  He keeps his arms in a V rather than straight out, and Jiang Cheng is pleased to see that he doesn’t require his help to get in position this time.  Huaisang takes deep, calming breaths, chest expanding and contracting, and his face  smooths out the longer he manages to float, eyes closed against the sun.  He adjusts slightly once or twice, but Jiang Cheng’s hands hover uselessly for a long time until Huaisang starts frowning and wavering.  Jiang Cheng puts a gentle hand under his lower back again.

It’s very different from teaching Jin Ling how to float.  Yanli put him in the lake as soon as he could walk, always under the careful eye of her, Zixuan, or Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Cheng is the one who taught him how to properly float and tread water, just in case something happens to his life jacket while they’re on the boat.  Jin Ling is a natural at swimming, just like all Jiangs, and Jiang Cheng only had to remind him twice to keep his belly button toward the sky before he got the hang of it.  Jiang Cheng was satisfied to leave him to it, proud of his independence but always close enough to keep him safe and show him different strokes or tricks.

With Huaisang, Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to let go.  His hand lingers on the soft skin of his back even after Huaisang has settled again.

“This is nice,” Huaisang says eventually.  Jiang Cheng takes his hand back like he’s been burned.  Huaisang squints at him, but doesn’t say anything more as he gets back to his feet.  Jiang Cheng clears his throat.

“Good,” he says.  “That was good.  Now I’m teaching you how to tread water.”

Huaisang whines and protests, but reluctantly learns, even as the sun begins to set around them.  Jiang Cheng has watched many sunsets off the end of the dock in his time, but the colors are more beautiful splayed out across Huaisang’s skin and the surface of the lake, making him look exactly like he belongs there.

-/-

Jiang Cheng has been awake for over half an hour before someone joins him on the dock.  His coffee cup is empty and his thoughts keep drifting back to Huaisang in their bed and how he looked in the water yesterday, peaceful and joyful in a way that Jiang Cheng himself hasn’t felt since their days at Cloud Recess.  It was refreshing, like the first sip of water on a hot day or the first breath of fresh air after being cooped up inside.

Light footsteps on the wood break him out of his reverie, and he turns to find Yanli making her way down the dock towards him, carefully lowering herself to sit in the space next to him.  He offers his hand for support, and while she takes it gratefully she doesn’t seem to need it.  Today must be a good day.  Her limbs must not be aching.

“Good morning, A-Cheng,” she says once she’s settled.

“Morning, Shijie.”

She hums, tilting her face towards the sun.  Jiang Cheng watches her, taking in the slight creases at the corner of her eyes and the healthy flush to her cheeks.  Her hair is in a simple braid and her loose blouse fits her comfortably.  She seems more comfortable in her skin now, too, settled in herself with humble confidence and contentment.  She looks happy, like the warmer climate of the south agrees with her and Zixuan is treating her well.

Jiang Cheng takes stock of his sister every time he sees her, searching for any hidden signs of distress or any of the numerous ways she may have changed since he saw her last.  Watching her get married and move states away had been difficult, made bearable only because she seemed so radiantly happy on the day.  He visits as often as he can, but having her more than a 20 minute car ride away used to keep him up at night, compounded by the fact that Wei Wuxian was in hiding, then presumed dead.  He practically moved in after Zixuan’s attack despite his law school commitments, if only so that Yanli had someone to watch Jin Ling while she tended to her husband and her house.

Every time he's seen her since, however, she’s looked happier than he remembers her being at home.  Without their mother to nag at her over not being pretty enough, or having a faulty immune system, or not being cut out for the world of business, Yanli’s face has softened, her smiles are less restrained, and the happiness in her voice is harder to chase away with a few harsh words.

The admission sits like a rock in his throat, but leaving them was good for her.  It was good for Wei Wuxian, too.  He’s the only one who can’t seem to shake off the shadows of their parents, but he doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if he did.  He loves Jiang Shipping.  He’s grown up his entire life knowing that he would work there, and law school was an enjoyable path only because it was supplemental.  Yanli has always preferred to keep house and cook for her loved ones, small ambitions that his parents never understood but that make her happy.  Wei Wuxian repeatedly said he would always work at the company alongside Jiang Cheng, but it’s clear now that that idea was a lie.

What would Jiang Cheng do?  Where would he go?  He can’t imagine another life where he doesn’t stay exactly where he is, but when he was a kid he never imagined that staying would be synonymous with watching everyone he loves walk away from him.

In his dreams, his parents eventually approved of him and loved him back.  In his dreams, his siblings were right there by his side.

He doesn’t know what he dreams of now.  It’s no use fantasizing about things that will never happen.

“Where’s Huaisang?” Yanli asks, breaking him out of his thoughts.  “I’ve rarely seen you apart since you got here.”

“He’s still sleeping,” Jiang Cheng says.

“And you aren’t joining him?”

Jiang Cheng shoots her a look.

“When have I ever slept in?”

“After A-Xian’s 18th birthday,” she says serenely.  Jiang Cheng winces at the memory of his spectacular hangover and multiple scrapes and bruises.

“Besides that.”

Yanli hums, conceding.  Jiang Cheng listens to the gentle sound of miniscule waves hitting the bank.  Somewhere down the shore, a loon coos mournfully.

“I’m happy that you have someone,” she says eventually.  Jiang Cheng continues to look over the water, swirling his feet in it.  “I was… surprised that you didn’t tell us about him before.”

Jiang Cheng shrugs, leaning back on his hands and tipping his head up, eyes closed against the sun.

“Didn’t think there was much to tell,” he says.

“A-Cheng,” she chides.  Jiang Cheng frowns.  “He means enough for you to bring him to Lotus Pier.  That's something, isn't it?"

He stays silent.  He can't find any words to say that wouldn't be a lie, and attempting to lie to Yanli always leaves a sour taste in his mouth that doesn't leave even after he's come clean.

She shifts, and he cracks one eye open to look at her, distressed at the crease that has appeared between her eyebrows.

"I hope you didn't think we would react badly," she says eventually.  "I know that when A-Xian brought Wangji for the first time, things were... tense, at times.  But I am nothing but happy for you and Huaisang.  I've only ever wanted what will make you happy, as he seems to."

Jiang Cheng feels guilt settle as a heavy stone in his stomach.

"I know, A-Li," he says.  "I've only ever wanted the same for you."

Yanli gives him a smile, but there's a hint of sadness that he hates.   He sits up more fully and takes her hand, squeezing it once.

"I miss talking to you," Yanli says, squeezing back.  "I should call more often.  I'm sorry."

"It's not--" he stops and considers his words, always more careful with them around Yanli than with anyone else.  "I miss you, too."

He doesn't say that he wishes she hadn't moved away.  He won't put that on her, and he's not mad that she did something to make herself happy.

She squeezes his hand again, grounding him like an anchor.  She has always been a lighthouse, waiting to welcome him home in rough weather no matter how far he strays.  He can’t stand the thought of her thinking that he’s been drifting further and further away without looking back.

"I wasn't hiding him from you," he says, because he wasn't, not for most of it.  For most of it, there wasn’t anything to tell.  For the rest of it...

Jiang Cheng thinks of being in high school, with his budding crush on Wen Qing that somehow felt more precious for the way the smiles they exchanged were small, private things, their conversations meant for their ears only.  It was like he had something that no one else could touch, right up until it dissolved before it truly had a chance to begin.

He thinks of dinner the night before, with Huaisang's knee pressed against his under the table.  He thinks of the swimming lesson yesterday, and the expanse of water surrounding them, isolating them from the rest of the world.  It was just him and Huaisang and the lake, no one's eyes on them and no one's expectations on his shoulders.

"I like having something... just for us," he says eventually, a small truth to try to make up for all of the lies he's feeding his sister.  "I wasn't hiding him from you."

Yanli hums.  He doesn't know if she understands.  Both of his siblings were obvious about their crushes in a way that Jiang Cheng never comprehended, like they wanted the whole world to know, even when Wei Wuxian himself was seemingly oblivious to his own feelings.  Still, Yanli has always met him with an open heart and open mind.  If there's anyone in his life who is willing to take him as he is with no expectations, it would be her.

"You seem softer around him," she says.  Jiang Cheng wonders if he's a better actor than he thought, because he feels on edge every time he holds Huaisang's hand in front of his family.  "It reminds me of Cloud Recess."

"That is where we met," he says dryly.  Yanli smiles, amused.

"You were happier back then."

Jiang Cheng feels those words like a punch to the stomach, knocking all of the air out of him.  Yanli either doesn't notice or pretends not to, scooting closer so she can rest her head against his shoulder.  He automatically tilts his cheek to rest against her hair.

"I'm glad you shared him with us," she says.  "I want to know about your life, A-Cheng.  Just because I'm a few states away doesn't mean I don't want to be part of it with you."

"Okay," he says quietly.  Yanli exhales, relaxing more against him.  They both look out over the lake, and Jiang Cheng feels strangely as if he's about to cry.

-/-

“What is that,” Huaisang asks flatly.  Jiang Cheng waves the large, fluorescent orange vest back and forth in front of him.

“You have eyes.  You tell me,” he says.

“Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang whines.  “It’s ugly.”

“You can’t swim, so you’re wearing a life jacket on the boat, at least when we’re moving and you’re on deck,” he says.  “No arguing.  Jin Ling is a better swimmer than you and he has to wear one.”

“Jin Ling is six years old and small enough to be eaten by a creature out there,” Huaisang says.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“There are no carnivorous fish in our lake.”

“Maybe not fish ,” Huaisang says ominously.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes again.

“Put it on before Jin Ling sees you protesting and gets ideas,” he says.  He tosses it to him and watches Huaisang fumble to catch it, then promptly get himself tangled in it, even though all he had to do was slip his arms through the holes and snap it together.  Jiang Cheng is almost impressed, even while he’s detangling him and snapping the vest closed himself, then checking for fit and tightening it accordingly.  Huaisang sighs heavily when he steps back.

“Thank you, A-Cheng,” he says, not sounding at all sincere but still leaning forward to kiss his cheek.  Jiang Cheng sees Yanli watching them in the corner of his eye.

Huaisang manages to avoid loading the coolers with food and beverages and hauling over the snorkeling and swimming gear, leaving any and all heavy lifting to Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, and the in-laws, but he joins the group once everyone leaves for the second dock and the boat parked there.

They bought the yacht after Lotus Pier nearly burned, but it’s the same sailing style that Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were raised to pilot since they were kids.  It has multiple cabins below decks despite its smaller size, and the entire thing is sleek white with the exception of the name printed on the side and the large lotus printed in purple on every sail.  Jiang Cheng is fully aware that personalized sails are completely rich-person bullshit, but his heart still fills with pride seeing the boat come into view and knowing that soon a symbol of his family will be unfurled against the blue of the sky and the blue of the waves.

Stepping onto the boat feels like coming home in the same way that stepping onto the main dock behind the house does.  Jiang Cheng can’t wait to get out in the middle of the lake where the waves are big enough to rock the boat under his feet, a gentle swaying that used to lull him to sleep as a child.  He holds out a hand to help Huaisang step aboard, giving himself a moment to watch him look around curiously before he continues the process that will take them out to sea.

There’s a slight breeze, but not enough to make things go out of control.  It’s a good day for sailing.

“Aren’t you going to help him?” his mother says as he’s turning the crank to lower the stand under the boat.  He glances up to see who she’s berating and catches the unhappy tilt to Wei Wuxian’s mouth as he nods a bow at her, sauntering over to untie the boat from the dock.  A snippy comment rises up in his throat like bile, but he swallows it down with force, focusing on the boat.

Let everyone see whether Wei Wuxian remembers how to be a first mate and pilot the boat alongside Jiang Cheng like they were trained to do as kids.

Yanli, Zixuan, and his parents have disappeared below decks by the time Jiang Cheng takes his post at the helm.  The yacht is equipped with every modern feature to allow one person to pilot, but Wei Wuxian still dutifully unfurls the sails, hoisting everything in place while Jiang Cheng calls commands and everyone else tries to stay out of the way.

"Jiujiu, let me drive!" Jin Ling says at his elbow, peering at the screens providing Jiang Cheng with all of the data he needs to sail and then some extra.  Jiang Cheng glances at him, then glowers.

"Jin Ling, where is your life jacket?"

Jin Ling crosses his arms with a defiant scowl.

"I can swim!  I don't need it!"

Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath and prays for patience.

"I don't care if you can swim.  It's against the law for you to be on the deck of a moving boat without a life jacket.  Do you want to get arrested?"

"No!"

"Then put on your life jacket."

"No!" Jin Ling repeats, stomping his foot for emphasis.  Jiang Cheng looks across the boat to where Sizuhui is sitting calmly on a bench wearing his own life preserver, Lan Wangji next to him watching Wei Wuxian work.  He wouldn’t change Jin Ling for anything and thinks that he’s perfect as he is, but sometimes he does wonder what it’d be like to be close to the nephew of his who actually listens to instructions.

Huaisang catches his eye, looks at Jin Ling, and immediately makes his way over.

"Jin Ling!" he says enthusiastically.  "I was so excited to wear my life jacket today because A-Cheng said you would wear yours, too, but now you're not even wearing it!  I think it looks rather stylish, don't you?"  He poses, switching sides so Jin Ling can get the full view.  "You don't want Sizhui and I to be the only ones wearing it, don't you?"

Jin Ling eyes him dubiously.  His sneer looks too much like Zixuan’s for Jiang Cheng’s taste.

"Come on," Huaisang says.  "If we find your life jacket and you put it on, not only will we be the best looking people on the boat, but I'm sure Jiang Cheng will let you help him pilot it."

He holds out his hand, which Jin Ling eyes with even more uncertainty.

"Show it to me at least," Huaisang implores.  "If yours looks better than mine, maybe we can switch!"

"No!" Jin Ling says.  "It's mine!  You can't have it!"

"But you're not even wearing it!" Huaisang complains.

"Yes I am!" Jin Ling says.

"Well, you should put it on if you don't want me to switch ours," Huaisang says.  He looks around the boat theatrically, tapping a finger against his chin.  "Let's see, where is it?  Where did it go?"

Jin Ling rushes over to the bench that doubles as a cabinet for all of their life jackets.  Huaisang follows at a calmer pace, throwing a wink over his shoulder.  Jiang Cheng shakes his head, but he doesn't bother to hide the tilt of a smile he feels in the corner of his mouth.

"Ready out there?" he calls once he sees Huaisang snap Jin Ling into his yellow life preserver.  Huaisang gives a thumbs up.

"Ay, ay, captain!" Wei Wuxian calls back cheerfully.  For a moment, Jiang Cheng is transported to a time years ago when he would go sailing with Wei Wuxian at every opportunity, annoyed with his antics while knowing that no one else would ever be his first mate.

He clears his throat and shakes off the memory.

"We're off," he announces.  "Hang on to something."

Jin Ling, of course, doesn’t listen, scampering along the side until he reaches Jiang Cheng’s elbow again.  Nie Huaisang, unfortunately, decides to follow, nearly losing his balance with the first sway of the boat until he reaches the helm and sprawls out on a bench behind Jiang Cheng, 

“Jiujiu, I want to drive!” Jin Ling says, stubbornly crossing his arms.

“You can help me drive after I get us away from shore,” he says, eyes fixed on where Wei Wuxian is adjusting the sails as they creep away from the dock.  Jin Ling slips a hand into the crook of Jiang Cheng’s elbow, pressing close and peering curiously at the navigation again.  Jiang Cheng moves around him when he needs to, thankful that he’s hanging on to something for safety, even if it’s him.

Wei Wuxian adjusts the sail to let them pick up more wind.  Jiang Cheng turns the wheel in tandem with him, putting the wind at their back as they head towards open water, skirting around the edge of the lake only until he gets a better sense of the wind, Wei Wuxian seamlessly adjusting with him without a word exchanged between the two of them.  The boat picks up speed the further they get from shore, and Jiang Cheng smiles against the breeze in his face, loving the feeling of skipping across the water.  The helm is protected enough that he doesn’t get any spray from the lake, but he can smell the water in the air, as sure as he can feel the sun beating down on him.

He skates around the lake, hearing Wei Wuxian’s laughter on the wind as he keeps up with him on the sails.  When Jiang Cheng looks at him, he’s hanging off the sails in a way that Jin Ling is never allowed to replicate under any circumstance, but he looks more relaxed than Jiang Cheng can remember since well before he disappeared.

“Jin Ling is going to drive,” he shouts above the water, slowing the boat.  Wei Wuxian gives a thumbs up and Jiang Cheng steps back, making just enough room for Jin Ling to stand between him and the wheel.  He guides him carefully around the lake, shouting commands to Wei Wuxian and always keeping his hands on the wheel to ensure nothing disastrous happens.  When he looks up at Wei Wuxian again, he finds that Sizhui has wandered over, watching Wei Wuxian attentively while he explains every move he makes.  It sends a sharp feeling through Jiang Cheng, one that he doesn’t have a name for and that he’s perfectly content not looking at closer.

He brings the boat to a stop and drops the anchor once the rest of his family begins to come up from belowdecks.  They’re surrounded by water, weeds growing tall and creeping up towards the surface but still feet below them at this part of the lake.  Their house is still visible at the edge of the water, but it’s a smudge against the shore, reverted back to a distant memory.  They won’t be disturbed here.

“Good job driving,” he tells Jin Ling, passing a hand over his hair.  Jin Ling beams at him.

"That was very impressive, Jin Ling," Huaisang says.  He looks at Jiang Cheng with a smile.  "Driving a boat is an admirable skill."

Jiang Cheng ducks his head.

"We'll sail more later, if the wind permits," he says.

"Jiujiu," Jin Ling says before Huaisang can respond, tugging on Jiang Cheng's hand.  "I want to swim!"

Jiang Cheng looks across the boat to where Yanli is emerging from belowdecks, all of the food properly stored and everything settled there.  She gives a smile and nod of permission.  Behind him, he can hear Jin Zixuan unhooking the bathing platform, preparing the boat for their day on the lake.

"You're ready to swim?" he asks.  Jin Ling nods eagerly.  Jiang Cheng surreptitiously checks the fit on his life jacket, satisfied to see that it's secured correctly.

"Are you sure?" he teases.  Jin Ling is practically vibrating with anticipation.

"Yes Jiujiu!"

"And what do you say?"

"Please!  Please, Jiujiu!"

Jiang Cheng sighs, although it's not sincere.  In one smooth motion, he picks Jin Ling up, then tosses him over the side of the boat.  He shrieks with laughter as he sails through the air, hitting the lake with a smack.  He pops back above the surface a second later, still laughing.

"Jiang Cheng!" Huaisang exclaims, peering over the side of the boat at Jin Ling.

"He's fine," Jiang Cheng says.  "We do this every time."

He's just glad that Jin Ling is still small enough for it to be easy.

"Jiujiu, come join!" Jin Ling calls.

"In a moment," he replies.  He needs to double check that everything is settled with the boat to his parents' satisfaction first.  He'll never hear the end of it if he begins relaxing while there are still tasks to be done.

"Then Huaisang has to come in," Jin Ling says.  Jiang Cheng raises his eyebrows and turns to Huaisang, a predatory smile forming on his face.

"No, I'm good for now," Huaisang says, putting up his hands.

"You might want to take your sunglasses off before you go in," Jiang Cheng says.  A quick glance at the bench near the helm tells him that Huaisang's phone is safe there, and the small backpack he brought along sits next to it.

"Jiang Cheng--"

"Do you want to disappoint Jin Ling?" he asks.  "Do you want to break my dear nephew's heart?"

Huaisang wavers.  Jiang Cheng takes the opportunity to swipe the sunglasses right off his face, then heft him up in a bridal carry.  Huaisang shrieks, but he's also laughing, even while Jiang Cheng neatly drops him over the side.  Jin Ling cheers and paddles over to where Huaisang re-emerges from the water, playfully glaring up at Jiang Cheng.

"I will get you back for that," he threatens.  He can't elaborate, because Jin Ling chooses that opportunity to tackle him despite being half his size.

They're both wearing their life jackets still.  Jiang Cheng watches them for another beat to ensure nothing goes wrong, an amused smile on his lips, then quickly finishes double checking the rest of the preparations on the boat.

When he finally dives in, the water is a cool balm against his skin, enveloping him like a hug.  He dives down until he can touch the weeds, the water deceptively deep here, fingertips brushing the soft plants until he’s forced to surface for a gulp of fresh air.

“Jiang Cheng!”  Huaisang calls, and that’s all the warning he gets before Huaisang splashes lake water in his face.

He sputters, but Huaisang has smartly moved behind Jin Ling by the time he’s gotten his eyes open again.  The six-year-old is a very effective human shield.

“Payback,” Huaisang sings with a smug smile.

“Jiujiu!” Jin Ling yells.  “Race me!”

Jiang Cheng gives Huaisang a spectacular side eye to let him know that things aren’t over, but does his duty as the best uncle and focuses on racing his nephew instead, always letting him win, but only barely.  Other members of his family jump into the water as well, distant splashes and raised voices, and Jiang Cheng eventually gives Jin Ling permission to take off his lifejacket as long as he stays under his supervision.

By the time they’ve dropped the life jacket back on the boat, Huaisang is lounging on one of the chaises set up on deck, sunglasses covering his eyes and one of his painted paper fans fluttering gently in his hand.

“Do you need sunscreen?” Jiang Cheng asks.  “Are you going to look like a lobster by the end of the day?”

“Are you offering to rub some on me?” Huaisang asks, eyebrow delicately raised behind his sunglasses and a teasing smile on his lips.

For a moment, Jiang Cheng panics.  That is definitely something a boyfriend would do, and a sure way to portray another layer of intimacy between them, but the thought of putting his hands all over Huaisang makes something roll in his stomach.  He wouldn’t know what to do with all that skin.  It looks smooth, and pale, and probably warm from Huaisang’s natural body heat and the sun he’s now basking in.

“Just kidding!” Huaisang says when he’s taken too long to reply.  “I put some on before we left the house.”

Jiang Cheng exhales, relieved and strangely disappointed.

“I may need some help later, though,” Huaisang says slyly.  “Doesn’t sunscreen wear off after a few hours?”

Jiang Cheng clears his throat.

“Something like that.”

Huaisang closes his fan with a snap.

“Go swim, Jiang Cheng,” he says.  “I’m very happy here.”

Jiang Cheng nods, then finds Jin Ling and Yanli and dives in near them.  He stays in the water for a long time, but he finds himself glancing at the boat often, watching Huaisang laze around in the sun.

-/-

An argument doesn’t break out until after lunch, which Jiang Cheng thinks may be a new record.

They packed sandwiches, even though there’s a small but functional kitchen on the yacht, and everyone takes turns loading them with condiments and finding a place to sit on deck.  Conversation is comfortable, confined to safe topics and led mostly by Zixuan and Yanli, who manage to include everyone at various points.  Jiang Cheng is relaxed, his guard is down, and that’s probably why the shouting sends a more unpleasant taste of bile in his throat than usual.

It’s his parents arguing, as always.  Zixuan is smart enough now to know that interfering never helps.  He only puts an arm around Yanli’s shoulders in a shoddy show of comfort, but Ziyuan brings up Wei Wuxian and then Lan Wangji is on his feet and Jiang Cheng decides that he doesn’t want to stick around to hear how this ends.  The last thing he hears before he dives under the surface of the lake is his mother berating his father for his favoritism yet again, using it to point out just how less impressive Jiang Cheng himself is than Wei Wuxian despite only one of them being a wanted criminal for years.

Everything muffles under the water.  Jiang Cheng used to think about the lake when his parents argued as a kid, plugging his ears until he could almost hear the echo of waves in them instead of their shouting.  Maybe it’s a coward’s way out, and his parents surely will have something scathing to say about it if he gives them the chance, but he’d rather run like a coward than listen to them right now.

He spends every hour at work bouncing between the two of them, being a liaison and a dutiful son and the best heir to the company that he can be.  He can’t give them his attention now, not even when the conversation is about him.

When he has to surface, it’s only to gasp in a breath, then submerge himself again, swimming further away from the boat, then circling it in a wide berth.  Part of him wants to swim back to shore, but he can’t leave his siblings, Jin Ling, or Huaisang here.  He won’t do that to them.

It’s Yanli who eventually catches him, after his mother has gone below decks and his father has entered the water.

“A-Li, you didn’t need to come this far from the boat,” he frowns when she appears next to him on his next resurface.  Today seems to be a good day, but her bouts of fatigue can hit suddenly.  It’s best for her to stay closer, even if he would never let her drown.

“They’ve stopped,” she says in lieu of a reply.  “It was… Huaisang was very skilled at diffusing them.  It was very impressive.”

Jiang Cheng treads water while he chews on that piece of information.  His face feels hot, stomach tightening.

Huaisang had to witness that.  Sure, Jiang Cheng complained about his parents’ arguments back at Cloud Recess, but now Huaisang has seen for himself that Jiang Cheng’s parents are incapable of being civil for a single conversation.  They don’t have the excuse of the shock of Huaisang like they did at their first dinner.  Huaisang heard all about how much of a disappointment Jiang Cheng is from the two experts on the subject, and Jiang Cheng wasn’t even there to defend himself because he ran like a coward.

“Come on, A-Cheng,” Yanli says gently.  “They’re both cooling off.  The boat is safe.”

Jiang Cheng is an endurance swimmer, but he’s exhausted by more than keeping himself afloat in the lake.  He can keep doing laps around the boat, but only for so long.

“I’ll race you,” Yanli adds playfully.  She always knows exactly how to get him to do what she wants.

“Alright, fine,” he concedes.  He doesn’t throw the race for her like he would for Jin Ling, but he doesn’t push himself, either.  They’re not racing for real, and he’s always appreciated swimming with her, matching the perfect form of her backstroke with his own butterfly as they make their way back to sanctuary.

Huaisang is waiting at the bathing station with a pile of towels, fan in hand.  He is also damper than when Jiang Cheng last saw him.

“What happened to you?” he asks, pushing himself up on the platform and taking the towel to wipe himself off.

“I fell in the lake,” Huaisang says.  Jiang Cheng pauses wiping his face to frown at him, eyes looking for any signs of injury or distress.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course!” Huaisang says lightly, waving a hand.  “Your dad fished me out.  It was so silly of me to fall in the first place!”

He giggles, hiding it behind his fan, and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes.

The boat is designed to be difficult to fall out of, and any tumble over the side would probably bruise and definitely be something that Huaisang would complain incessantly about.

“It was a very effective way to end their argument,” Yanli says.  Jiang Cheng gives her a hand onto the platform, and Huaisang immediately gives her a towel that she wraps around herself.

“I’m just happy that there are so many strong swimmers on this boat,” Huaisang says, fluttering his fan.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t dignify that with a response.  He has a harsh, jolting thought that at least it wasn’t Wei Wuxian who saved Huaisang, then violently stomps that thought down.

“A-Cheng,” Huaisang says, eyes wide and pleading, “will you give me another swimming lesson later?  I heard that you snorkel here sometimes to watch the fish, but I don’t want to drown while I do it.”

“You can wear your life jacket for snorkeling,” he says, but he’s nodding as he says it, stomach unclenching.  “Come on.”

“Wh–Now?” Huasiang asks.  “Jiang Cheng, I just ate!”

“It’s been long enough,” Jiang Cheng frowns.  “Jin Ling will want to snorkel soon.  If you want to join him, we’re learning now.  Come on!”

Huaisang sighs dramatically but slides into the water after him, leaving Yanli giggling on the bathing platform.  Jiang Cheng relaxes slowly as he teaches Huaisang simple strokes and how to float on his stomach, a floatie from the boat always within reach in case he needs it, and his good mood doesn’t dissipate when Wei Wuxian loudly joins them to teach Sizhui, nor when he can feel his mother’s eyes on them from the boat, watching them snorkel with her odd intensity.

By the time they bring the boat back to dock, just in time for dinner, Jiang Cheng is tired from all of the exercise and has the beginnings of a sunburn on the bridge of his nose, but he’s the happiest he’s been after one of their yacht excursions in the past few years.

-/-

The hair on the back of Jiang Cheng’s neck stands on end before he hears his mother’s footsteps coming down the dock.  He scrambles to his feet to meet her, leaving his coffee cup nearly full at his feet as she approaches, giving him a once over and sniffing at his worn t-shirt and swimming trunks.  She, of course, is already dressed impeccably this early in the morning, wearing a designer blouse and shorts with her hair pulled up in a style more suited to her New York penthouse than the lake house.

“Niang,” he greets.  “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” she says.  Her gaze skips over the lake, then returns to him, eyes sharp.  “Come sit with me.”

It’s a command, not a request, and she makes her way over to the patio furniture without looking back to see if he follows.  He does, of course, gingerly taking the chair next to her, every nerve in his body on alert.

"How are you enjoying yourself on this vacation?" she asks, corners of her mouth tight and turned down.  Jiang Cheng can feel his heartbeat in his throat, knowing that this is a trap but not knowing how.

"I always love being here," he eventually lands on, trying to keep his voice even and pleasant.  "I love Lotus Pier."

He doesn't try to butter her up with compliments on her cooking or tell her that he's enjoyed spending time with her.  She has never responded well to that, even when he was younger and genuinely longing for her company, comforted by her familiar home-cooked meals.

She hums, a disapproving note that he can recognize in his sleep.

"Perhaps after this break, you'll be better prepared to integrate the innovations we've been discussing at the company."

Jiang Cheng clenches his jaw, breathing rapidly through his nose.

"Perhaps Wei Wuxian will rub off on you while you're here," she sniffs.  Jiang Cheng swallows down the lump in his throat, then the indignant argument that Wei Wuxian doesn't know anything about their company anymore and his inventions were always suited to tech products rather than a shipping company.  Technological advancements in boating and computers can only help them so much when the internal structure of their company needs reworking, and Jiang Cheng has already helped implement new policies and hierarchical structures to make the company itself more efficient.

Wei Wuxian would never have been able to build the networking relationships that Jiang Cheng has, and he never had the focus or organization to complete his schoolwork, let alone run a company.  That has never mattered to his parents, though.  Wei Wuxian is brilliant enough to hack into the NSA.  Jiang Cheng will never compare.

"Perhaps," he finally grinds out.

"I hope Nie Huaisang will not be a distraction to you," she continues, the threat clear in her voice.  "He's an imbecile and a floozy.  I won't have my only son be dragged down with a murderer's brother."

"Don't talk about him like that," he snaps.  She looks at him sharply, and he realizes how many rules for communicating with her he's broken in that one sentence, from giving her a command to the hard tone of voice he used to do it.

Still, his mother raised him to be many things, but she did not raise him as a quitter.  He squares his shoulders.

"He's not an imbecile, and he's definitely not a floozy," he says.  "He is my partner.  You have no right to judge him for his family's actions when we know Zixuan and Wangji’s own parents have done worse, yet you never spoke against them."

"They are not running their companies to the ground," she snaps.

"Huaisang wasn't raised to take over Nie Knives.  The fact that the company hasn't gone under is a testament to how well he has done with no training.  If you had to suddenly leave Jiang Shipping to Yanli or Wei Wuxian with no warning, they’d struggle as well."

"And you wouldn't?  You, who has come second to the son of a degenerate your entire life, who lacks the creativity to implement lasting innovations, whose own father prefers another man's son over his own?"

Jiang Cheng feels her words like a physical blow, all air leaving him at once.

It's nothing that hasn't been said before, by his mother and father alike, sometimes where he is meant to hear and sometimes when they aren't aware that he can.  It has never stopped hurting.  He doesn't think it ever will.

"Jiang Cheng!"

Jiang Cheng sucks in an uneven breath at Huaisang's voice.  A moment later, arms wrap around his shoulders.  Huaisang leans over the back of his chair to press a kiss to his cheek, one of his thumbs tapping against Jiang Cheng's collarbone.

"Good morning, darling," he says softly.  Jiang Cheng continues trying to breathe.

"And good morning to you, Ms. Yu!" he continues.  "You look wonderful, as always."

Don't aimlessly compliment her, he wants to warn.  She has no patience for empty flattery.

He doesn't say anything, her words still ringing in his ears and sealing his mouth shut.

"Nie Huaisang," she says flatly.  Huaisang either doesn't hear the danger in her voice, or he's suicidal and doesn't care.  He straightens so he’s no longer draped around Jiang Cheng, but keeps his hand on his shoulder, leaning a hip against Jiang Cheng’s chair.

“I’m not interrupting, am I?” he asks, glancing between the two of them.  “It’s just such a treat to spend mornings with Jiang Cheng, given that we both spend so much time at the office that there’s no time to laze around together.  Even on weekends there always seems to be more work to be done, and you know Jiang Cheng!  He’s very diligent.  Da-ge joked last time we spoke that some of that diligence must be rubbing off on me, now that Nie Knives is broadening our market.”

Jiang Cheng blinks up at him.

“Broadening your market?” his mother asks skeptically, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh yes,” Huaisang says, fingers brushing the patch of skin where Jiang Cheng’s neck meets his shoulder.  “We have meetings with investors in Europe, and our marketing team has already begun a campaign.  Jiang Shipping will, of course, be how we transport all materials to and from our flagship manufacturer abroad.  We’ve already signed the contract.  I thought you knew that as the CFO, but I suppose it might be below your station.”

Jiang Cheng refuses to breathe, waiting to see how his mother reacts to the slight.  Implying that she doesn’t know what’s going on in her own company is an insult that she has eviscerated lesser people for, and Huaisang’s wide-eyed innocence can only get him so far, especially when Jiang Cheng is certain he has more tact than that.

His mother narrows her eyes.

“Nie Huaisang,” she says, every word measured.  “Typically Yanli joins me for my spa appointments on these trips, but Zixuan has planned a different event for her today.  You will join me instead.”

“Mother–”

“That sounds wonderful!” Huaisang enthuses.  “When are we leaving?”

“You have one hour,” she says.  “Be presentable.”

With that, she gracefully stands and disappears into the house.  Huaisang slumps against Jiang Cheng as soon as she’s gone, forcing him to put an arm around him to steady him.

“Am I going to die?” Huaisang asks.  “Is she going to use this opportunity to kill me and hide the body?”

“I don’t know,” Jiang Cheng says honestly.  “I have no idea what just happened.”

Huaisang makes a despairing noise.  Jiang Cheng pats his hip.

“You brought this upon yourself,” he says.  “You could’ve stayed inside where it was safe.”

“I wasn’t going to let her talk to you like that,” Huaisang replies immediately.  “That wouldn’t make me a very good boyfriend, now would it?”

Warmth blooms uncomfortably in Jiang Cheng’s chest.

“Fake boyfriend,” he says.  Huaisang smiles down at him, but it lacks something, although Jiang Cheng couldn’t pin down what if his life depended on it.

“Yeah,” he says.  “Fake boyfriend.  I have to play the part fully to sell it.”

Jiang Cheng hums.

“You should go get ready,” he says.  “She won’t take kindly to waiting for you.”

Huaisang sighs.  “But I don’t want to.”

“I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Waffles?”

“Eggs and toast.”

Huaisang considers.  He hasn’t put his hair in his braids yet, so it keeps falling close to his eyes.  Jiang Cheng is hit with the urge to brush it away for him.

“Fine,” he says.  “But you have to do it tomorrow, too.  I’m going to be alone with your mother, Jiang Cheng.  I deserve it.”

“You’re getting a spa day out of it.  Breakfast today or no deal.”

Huaisang heaves an impressively heavy sigh and gives Jiang Cheng an impressively large pout.

“Take it or leave it,” he reinforces.

“Fine!” Huaisang says, throwing his hands up in the air.  “Eggs and toast for today it is!”

Jiang Cheng feels a smug ripple of satisfaction, even though he’ll probably end up making Huaisang breakfast tomorrow, anyway.  He doesn’t trust him to touch the toaster.

“Come on,” he says, standing and picking up his abandoned coffee cup, the liquid inside now woefully tepid.  “Make yourself presentable.  Prepare to spend hours with my mother.”

“Yay,” Huaisang says flatly, but he follows Jiang Cheng back into the house easily enough, and he eats his eggs with a smile on his face.

-/-

“You owe me for this,” Jiang Cheng says darkly, glaring at Zixuan as he exchanges his slippers for sneakers in the doorway.

“It’s for Yanli!  She deserves a full day date,” his annoying, terrible brother-in-law says, standing and straightening his stuffy dress shirt.  “Besides, you love Jin Ling.”

“What if I had other plans?” Jiang Cheng asks.  “Just because I love him doesn’t mean you can foist him on me whenever you like without asking, you ass.”

Zixuan frowns.  “No swearing in front of the kids.”

“Swearing, swearing!” Jin Ling cheers, skipping around Jiang Cheng in a circle.

“Jin Ling,” Zixuan says, crouching down.  Jin Ling ignores him, continuing to circle Jiang Cheng until Zixuan manages to catch him by the arm.  “Be good for Jiang Cheng, okay?  We’ll see you tonight.”

“Yes Dad,” he says obediently, with just enough derision to make Jiang Cheng proud.  Zixuan leans forward and kisses him on the cheek loudly and Jin Ling giggles, playfully squirming away when Zixuan tugs him into a squeezing hug.

“I love you,” Zixuan says.  Jiang Cheng feels like he’s getting stabbed in the heart, but it’s fine.  He’s glad that Jin Ling has this.  He’s thankful that Zixuan and Yanli both decided to be better parents than they had.  It’s what Jin Ling deserves.

“I love you, too, Daddy,” Jin Ling sighs.  Zixuan chuckles.

“Have fun with your uncle.  I can’t keep your mother waiting any longer.”

Jiang Cheng gives him a nod on his way out the door, and then he has a six year old tugging incessantly on his hand.

“I want to play with Sizhui,” he says.

“Does Sizhui want to play with you?” he asks.

“Yes!” Jin Ling frowns, stomping his foot.  “Sizhui is my friend!  He wants to play with me!”

“Alright, alright,” Jiang Cheng sighs.  “Let’s go find Sizhui.”

It isn’t difficult, because Sizhui comes down the stairs at that moment wearing his red swimming trunks and a white swim shirt.

“You’re going swimming!” Jin Ling yells excitedly.  Sizhui beams and nods.  “I want to swim, too.  Jiujiu, let’s go swim with Sizhui.”

Wei Wuxian comes thundering down the stairs before Jiang Cheng can reply, stopping short at the sight of them.  Jin Ling, the manipulative little creature, immediately turns on him with big, pleading eyes.

“I want to go swimming with Sizhui, Uncle Wei!”

Wei Wuxian brightens, then immediately dims when Jiang Cheng takes a step forward and puts a hand on Jin Ling’s shoulder.  Jiang Cheng’s jaw tightens.

“May we join you?” he grits out, loathe to interrupt what was clearly going to be a little family swimming time, judging by the matching red and white swim outfits that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, descending the stairs, both wear.

But still, Jin Ling is asking.  If there’s one thing Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng still have in common, it’s wanting Jin Ling to be happy.

“Please?” Jin Ling begs.  “Please, Uncle Wei? I want to swim with Sizhui!”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji look at each other, doing that horrible thing where they communicate without words.

“Please, Baba?” Sizhui asks.  Wei Wuxian’s resolve crumbles like a sandcastle against a gentle ocean wave.

“Of course!” Wei Wuxian says.  “We would love for my favorite nephew to join us!”

Jin Ling beams, then grabs Jiang Cheng’s hand and begins tugging him to the stairs.

“Come on, Jiujiu!  We have to get our swimsuits!”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t point out that Wei Wuxian said nothing about Jiang Cheng joining, only Jin Ling.  He supposes it’s unspoken: he is the one who Zixuian entrusted Jin Ling to for the day, and he’s the one who has been with Jin Ling from the moment he was born.  Still, the sting of rejection is a familiar hurt.

Things feel just as awkward and uncomfortable once they get to the water.  Jin Ling and Sizhui don’t seem to notice, but the frosty glares that Wangji sends his way could turn the lake to ice.  He tries to focus on Jin Ling but can feel eyes boring into the side of his skull the entire time, even while Wei Wuxian does his best to pretend that Jiang Cheng doesn’t exist.

Jiang Cheng’s chest aches.  He disappears under the water, but it doesn’t help, so he swims out and watches the kids instead.

Sizhui is a quick study.  While it’s obvious that he hasn’t grown up in the water like Jin Ling and the Jiangs, he catches on to every trick that Jin Ling is proud to show him and every reminder that Wei Wuxian calls from near the shore.  He’s a bright kid, maybe just as bright as Jin Ling, but in a different way.  He’s undoubtedly a Lan, and undoubtedly a Wei, and still undoubtedly a Wen.  It’s an unfortunate combination for a child to have to live with.

But he’s been nice to Jin Ling, at least so far.  That’s all that Jiang Cheng has the right to ask for.

“Jin Ling, Sizhui, come out from the dock if you’re going to dive,” Jiang Cheng calls to them.  “You’ll bump your head coming up.”

“Yes, Jiujiu!” Jin Ling replies, flinging himself into the water and splashing Sizhui in the process.  Sizhui doesn’t seem offended, just follows his lead.  Jiang Cheng continues to watch them, chest aching even more.

“You’re good with him,” Wei Wuxian says, much closer than Jiang Cheng anticipated.  The fact that he managed to sneak up on him is unnerving, almost as much as the fact that he’s willingly talking to Jiang Cheng.  Ever since he came back, there's been stony silence between them.  Everything Jiang Cheng tries to say comes out wrong, and somewhere between childhood and his disappearance Wei Wuxian forgot how to read between the lines and get to Jiang Cheng’s true meaning.  He understands him as well as a stranger.  It hurts more than it should.

“You are, too,” he finally says.  “Sizhui is… surprisingly well-adjusted.”

It comes out wrong, more acidic than he means for it.  Wei Wuxian’s expression doesn’t flicker, but it’s cold and impersonal, a perfect picture of polite Lan boredom.  Lan Wangji has been rubbing off on him.  Soon, there will be no trace of Jiang left in Wei Wuxian.  Jiang Cheng wants to scream.

“I don’t see why it’s such a surprise,” Wei Wuxian says.  “He’s been surrounded by love all of his life.”

“He was in hiding being raised by wanted criminals during his formative years.”

“And what would have been better?  To take him away from his family, put him with strangers who may not know anything about his history or his people?”

“Obviously not,” Jiang Cheng snaps.  He knows the lengths that Wei Wuxian went to in order to ensure that Sizhui gets to keep the Wens in his life.  Lan Wangji adopted him before they got married, given that the government deemed domestic terrorists as unfit parents before the trial that exonerated Wei Wuxian and the Wens for the more major crimes they were accused of.  Wen Qing and Wen Ning may not be his legal guardians, but Wei Wuxian was able to adopt him after he married Lan Wangji, and that’s as good as it’s going to get for them.

“Then what?  Please, Jiang Cheng, tell me how you, who has never raised a child and lived with the same example as me, would have done better.”

“I’m not saying–”

“Baba!” Sizhui calls.  Jiang Cheng swallows every word on his tongue.  “Watch this!”

He does a cannonball off the end of the dock, disappearing under the surface of the water with a torrential splash.  Wei Wuxian cheers uproariously, immediately swimming out to scoop his son up.  Jiang Cheng’s throat closes, and he rubs at the ache in his chest, one he’s been living with for longer than he’d like to admit.  He steadfastly ignores the miniscule glance Lan Wangji sends his way as he wades over to join his family.

Wei Wuxian stays glued to Sizhui’s side for the next half hour, allowing Jin Ling to climb all over him and flawlessly charming the children, as always.  Jiang Cheng bides his time swimming laps until Jin Ling and Sizhui race, both of them imploring Wei Wuxian to watch.

He can’t sneak up on Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian can’t outswim him, either.  It was one of the only things Jiang Cheng could ever hold over his head.

“It wasn’t an insult,” he says before he allows himself to think.  Wei Wuxian frowns.  “It was a compliment.  He seems like a good kid.  You’ve done what other people would find impossible.”

Wei Wuxian looks at him, rather than through him.

“That was always our motto,” he says.  “Attempting the impossible was the only option.”

Jiang Cheng swallows around the lump in his throat and looks away first.  Jin Ling and Sizhui begin another race further away.

“What about you?” Wei Wuxian says.  For a moment, Jiang Cheng thinks he’s going to elbow him in the side like he used to all the time at Cloud Recess, but he maintains their distance.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Well,” Wei Wuxian replies, the ghost of a sly look on his face, “before this week I would’ve thought that Nie Huaisang settling down was as impossible as you bringing a man as a date to the family gathering.”

“Huaisang can be very charming,” Jiang Cheng says.

Wei Wuxian smiles, looking out across the waves.  His shoulders are loose and relaxed.  Jiang Cheng didn’t realize how much tension he must carry there, but it changes the entire shape of his outline.  He looks more like Jiang Cheng remembers from before.

“Huaisang has always been charming,” Wei Wuxian says.  “That’s how he could always convince you to go along with our schemes at Cloud Recess.”  He glances at Jiang Cheng, then returns his gaze to the water, where Sizhui and Jin Ling are playing.  “He must really like you, too, to come here.”

Jiang Cheng crosses his arms.  It’s a slight against their family, but he swallows down his anger and casts about for the lie that’s closest to the truth.  He must take too long, because Wei Wuxian dims.

“I’m… happy for you,” Wei Wuxian says, looking at the waves, the sky, and his family rather than at Jiang Cheng.  Jiang Cheng stares.  “I hope he treats you right.”

With that, he throws himself into the water, splashing Jiang Cheng in a way that’s too clumsy to have been an accident.  Jiang Cheng inhales lake water and yells something appropriately scathing and threatening, although he’s not sure how clearly it comes out when he’s still spitting out lake water.

He steadfastly ignores whatever uncomfortable feeling that prompted to blossom in his chest, not quite replacing the ache, but laying something else on top of it.

He doesn’t hold another conversation with Wei Wuxian for the rest of the morning, but the lake doesn’t feel as frosty, anyway.

-/-

“You’re alive,” Jiang Cheng says the moment Huaisang walks through the door.  His skin is glowing, and he gives Jiang Cheng a wide, relaxed smile.  Jiang Cheng watches him exchange his shoes for house slippers and doesn’t want to look away.

“Why do you sound so surprised?” Huaisang laughs.  Jiang Cheng shrugs, because he’s not willing to admit that until this moment, he didn’t believe that his mother would return him in one piece.

Huaisang crosses around the table to lean against Jiang Cheng’s chair, peering over his shoulder at the article he has open on his phone about an ongoing ecoterrorism trial in Florida.

“Mind your business,” Jiang Cheng says, turning off his phone and doing his best to fix Huaisang with an unimpressed look over his shoulder.  Huaisang makes it impossible by resting his body weight against him, wrapping his arms around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders and pressing their temples together.

“Can’t I want to know what my lover is up to?” he asks dramatically.  “We’ve been apart for a whole morning , A-Cheng!”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but waits a few seconds more before elbowing Huaisang in the side so he can take his dishes to the sink.  He finished eating a while ago, but Jin Ling finished long before him and went to go bother Sizhui, even though Jiang Cheng reminded him countless times that the Lan have a stupid “no talking during meals” rule.  He can see the two boys running around after each other in the grass through the window while  Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sit silently on the porch watching them and holding hands.  It makes him want to throw up.

“How was the spa?” he asks to distract himself, meticulously washing his dishes so his parents can’t find fault with them later.

“It was lovely,” Huaisang sighs happily.  Jiang Cheng raises a skeptical eyebrow, scrubbing large circles against his plate.  “Once it became clear that your mother doesn’t care enough about me to plot my murder, it was nice to be pampered, and I decided that if she did kill me, I should at least enjoy my final moments.  Did you know that your mother met your father just in town here after their parents set them up?”

“She told you that?” Jiang Cheng asks, frowning.  He did know that, of course, but his mother doesn’t typically talk to other people about her relationship with his father.  Things have been complicated with them since Jiang Cheng was a child, but they’ve done their best to keep their separation out of the press, even if they have individual apartments but refuse to take the next step and get a divorce.

“Yeah,” Huaisang says, oblivious to Jiang Cheng’s crisis.  “She’s much nicer when she’s at the spa.  Well, not nicer , but less mean.  Well, not less mean , but I didn’t get the impression that she was going to dismember me and dump me in the lake.”

Jiang Cheng carefully dries his plate with the dish cloth Yanli embroidered for the kitchen, placing it gently in the cupboard.

“I’m glad you had a good time,” he says eventually.  “What do you want to do this afternoon?”

If Huaisang is thrown by his sudden change in subject, he doesn’t show it.

“What do you usually do when you’re here?”

Nothing is the easy answer.  Jiang Cheng comes here to relax.  In the early years, that meant running around with Wei Wuxian and lounging with Yanli.  In more recent years, that means spending as much time as possible in the water and spending the rest of his time locked up in his room, avoiding all of his problems.

“I usually go swimming,” Jiang Cheng says.  Huaisang deflates.

“But Jiang Cheng, we went swimming yesterday!”

“ I went swimming this morning,” he corrects.  “But it’s cloudy now, and we’re expecting rain later.  Not the best climate for swimming.”

“Oh.  Well, I have my art supplies, if we’re going to be cooped up inside,” Huaisang offers.  “We could just… do our own things?  Together?”

Jiang Cheng is glad that Huaisang doesn’t expect him to sit around drawing or painting, because he’s shit at it.  Embarrassing himself in front of everyone is not something he enjoys, and he doesn’t get art the way that Wei Wuxian and Huaisang do.

“We’re watching Jin Ling, too,” he says.

“We are?” Huaisang asks, leaning against the table.

“Well, I am,” Jiang Cheng says.  “Zixuan is taking Yanli on a full-day outing.  I guess if you don’t want to be disturbed we can leave you alone?”

The thought sits uncomfortably with him.  He had assumed that he and Huaisang would be spending the day together after he got back from the spa, but perhaps that was presumptuous.  Jiang Cheng isn’t the best company at any time, and they’ve already been around each other more on this trip than the past 8 years combined.  It would make sense if he was sick of him by now.

“No, that’s fine!” Huaisang says hastily.  “Besides, I’m basically his uncle, too, with Guangyao and Xichen and such.  I should start him on art early!  Kids love coloring and crafts!”

If Jin Ling takes after Jiang Cheng, he doesn’t have an artistic bone in his body, but maybe Huaisang can still teach him a thing or two.

By the time Huaisang has gathered his numerous art supplies and laid them across the dining room table, Wei Wuxian has deposited Jin Ling inside and back under Jiang Cheng’s care.  The Lans have tickets to a classical concert in the next town over, and once Jiang Cheng explains that it will be incredibly boring, Jin Ling happily takes a chair with a coloring book that Yanli packed and one of those huge packets of crayons.  He also promptly forgets about his coloring the moment Huaisang brings out a long paintbrush and a blank paper fan, carefully laying out water and his ink rocks, and looking at the fan with his head tilted and face twisted in consideration.

“What are you doing?” Jin Ling asks, sitting up on his knees and leaning over enough that he’s at risk of toppling.  Jiang Cheng grabs the back of his shirt and yanks him back to sitting to ensure it won’t happen.

“I’m painting,” Huaisang says.  “In ancient China, they used ink to paint scenery and characters on canvases, like large paper fans.  I like to paint them sometimes.”

“Wow,” Jin Ling says in wide-eyed wonder.

“Huaisang is a very good painter,” Jiang Cheng tells him.  “He used to have a whole art gallery.”

Huaisang shoots Jiang Cheng a look, and Jiang Cheng raises an eyebrow in reply.  He’s only telling the truth.  He may not have made it to the gallery opening, but he has seen numerous fans of Huaisang’s over the years, from Cloud Recess to the gallery website to more recent posts on his social media.  They range from traditional styles to experimental contemporary ones, but they’re all skillfully decorated.

Jiang Cheng prefers the traditional landscapes.  Huaisang seems to, as well.

“I want to be a painter!” Jin Ling says, turning to Jiang Cheng with wide, pleading eyes.

“You want to be a lot of things,” Jiang Cheng sighs.  “You don’t have any paint.”

“Before I was a painter, I had to get really good at drawing and coloring,” Huaisang says.  “Maybe, if you work really hard on your coloring today, we can see about getting you paints later.”

Jin Ling pouts, but he folds impressively quick, especially once Huaisang starts asking him about favorite colors and favorite things to draw.  Jiang Cheng mostly observes, watching the way they interact with each other while pretending to go over a law report of a case from a few years ago about cargo in international waters that could have practical applications for Jiang Shipping.

For someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time around kids, Huaisang is surprisingly good with Jin Ling, especially considering that Jin Ling is a little shit to most adults.  He asks Jin Ling questions and listens carefully to his answers, even when Jin Ling is mostly saying gibberish and Huaisang gives Jiang Cheng panicked, confused looks.  He compliments Jin Ling’s coloring, but not excessively, and he patiently fields every question that Jin Ling has for him, from whether Huaisang can braid his hair later to what he’s painting on the fan.

“It’s a picture of the lake,” Huaisang says, gesturing out the window behind Jiang Cheng.  “I’m just doing the ink outline now.  I’ll add color with watercolor paints later.”

Jiang Cheng looks behind himself to the lake, then back at Huaisang’s fan.  He can see the beginnings of the scene unfolding on it now that he knows what to look for: the horizon line, the dock stretching out into the water, the few trees that they have stretching up toward the sky near shore.

“Oh,” he says quietly.  There’s something about Huaisang deciding that his home should be immortalized in art that puts butterflies in his stomach.

“Something wrong, Jiang Cheng?” Huaisang asks, carefully adding another stroke with his brush.

“Nothing,” he says quickly.  “It’s going to be beautiful.”

Huaisang looks up at him from under his lashes and smiles.  Jiang Cheng’s heartbeat doubles in speed.

“Keep being nice to me and I might even give it to you,” Huaisang sing-songs.

“Really?” he asks, more eagerly than he’d like.  Based on Huaisang’s look, he can tell.

“Yes, but you have to promise to hang it up,” he says.  “Your apartment is too bare.  It’s depressing.”

“Of course I’d hang it up,” Jiang Cheng scoffs.  “Your art shouldn’t be hidden away.”

Huaisang looks down at his fan, leaning his chin on his hand and carefully adding another line of black to his landscape.  It doesn’t hide the faint pink dusting his cheeks.

“You flatter me,” Huaisang says eventually.

“I don’t flatter anyone,” Jiang Cheng says.  “I may not know much about art, but I have eyes.  I can see that you’re very skilled.”

Huaisang snorts.

“I think you’re the first person who has ever called me skilled at anything.”

“Huaisang is very skilled!” Jin Ling shouts before Jiang Cheng can get a word in edgewise, scowling.  Huaisang’s eyes go wide.  “You are the best painter in the world!”

Huaisang looks at Jiang Cheng, then back to Jin Ling.  Jiang Cheng smirks.

“You heard him,” he says.  “And you know that kids speak their minds.”

“Thank you, Jin Ling,” Huaisang stammers.  Jin Ling nods once, appeased, and goes back to his coloring.  Huaisang puts a hand against his mouth, shielding it from Jin Ling.

“You need to expose him to more artists,” he says quietly.  Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“I don’t know enough about art to do that.  I would need an expert’s help.”

“Well,” Huaisang says slowly.  “Maybe a museum trip is in order for us.”

“Maybe so.”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t think he would mind learning about art if Huaisang is the one teaching him.  There’s an intentionality to his brushstrokes that Jiang Cheng doesn’t see reflected in many other aspects of his life, a level of care and consideration that betrays just how much this means to him.  It’s the same love that he uses when talking about his brother, and the same level of meticulous attention to detail that he uses to sell their relationship to Jiang Cheng’s family.

Jiang Cheng wants to be one of the things that he talks about with that type of care.

“I’m going to make some tea,” he says abruptly.  “Huaisang, would you like some?”

“Yes, please.  Thank you, darling.”

Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath, but he can’t help brushing a hand across Huaisang’s back when he puts his tea cup in front of him.  The big, beaming smile that Huaisang gives him makes his stomach flutter again.

Huaisang catches Jiang Cheng’s hand before he returns to his own seat and presses a kiss to the back of it.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t get much work done the rest of the time, too busy watching Huaisang.  Huaisang doesn’t seem to mind, smiling every time he catches Jiang Cheng’s eye.

-/-

Jiang Cheng wakes up cool and comfortable.  He kicked off most of the covers during the night, only a light sheet covering half of his body, but Huaisang moved into the empty space at his side, plastered against him in a long line of warmth.  His arm is thrown over Jiang Cheng’s waist, head pillowed on his chest, and Jiang Cheng’s arm has gone numb from where it’s trapped under his body.  One of Huaisang’s legs is hooked around his, heel pressing into Jiang Cheng’s calf, trapping him in place.  His chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm that matches Jiang Cheng’s, nearly lulling him back to sleep.

Jiang Cheng can hear the gentle rhythm of the waves through their open window, everything fresh and cool after the rainstorm last night.  As comfortable as he is right now, he wants to be out on his dock.

Huaisang hums, fingers flexing at Jiang Cheng’s side before relaxing again.  Jiang Cheng considers staying to preserve their bubble, but he knows that he wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep.  He carefully attempts to slip away, but Huaisang hums again, grip tightening.

“Where’re you going?” he asks, breath skating against Jiang Cheng’s chest.  His voice is heavy and groggy, pinning Jiang Cheng in place.

“It’s morning,” he says softly once he finds his voice.  “I’m going to the dock to drink my coffee.”

“Mm, no,” Huaisang says.  “You’re too comfy.”

“Your side of the bed is plenty comfortable without me.”

Huaisang scrunches his face in a frown as Jiang Cheng tries to untangle their legs.  It is unfairly adorable.

“You’re warm.”

“It’s summer.  It’s already warm without my help.”

Huaisang blinks awake finally, looking up at Jiang Cheng with his big brown eyes.

“Don’t leave me, Jiang Cheng.”

Jiang Cheng exhales.

“Come to the dock with me, then.”

“Okay,” Huaisang says enthusiastically.  Jiang Cheng almost thinks he misheard, but Huaisang rolls and stretches, then immediately snaps his arms against his sides again.

“Jiang Cheng!  It’s cold! ” he whines, pouting as Jiang Cheng pulls on his shirt like he personally offended him by not controlling the weather.

“I have a sweatshirt you can wear,” he sighs.  “It’s only cooler this morning because the rain moved through.”

Huaisang sulks in the middle of their bed until Jiang Cheng tosses a purple hoodie at him.  It has the Jiang Shipping logo on it from when they introduced casual Fridays at the office a few years ago.  Jiang Cheng never wears it in the office himself, of course.  He doesn’t get to be casual when he’s the heir to the company and still works with both of his parents.  Still, he likes the color, and the fabric is soft.

Huaisang looks small in it, his shoulders slimmer than Jiang Cheng’s and his stature shorter.  The sleeves that hug Jiang Cheng’s biceps fall to the middle of Huaisang’s palm, and something flutters in his stomach when Huaisang nestles further into the fabric, looking the picture of sleepy contentment.

“Come on,” Jiang Cheng says, tilting his head towards the door.  “I’ll make the coffee.”

Huaisang plasters himself to Jiang Cheng’s side in the kitchen, eyelids still drooping as they wait for the coffee to brew.  He’s more comfortable than he anticipated with the weight, so he takes a moment to bask in the quiet peace of the morning, just him and Huaisang awake in the house.  He can hear faint birdsong outside under the hum of the coffee machine, a gentle background song to the warm colors painting the sky as the sun rises.  Everything is still and calm, his heartbeat slow and his breathing subconsciously matched to Huaisang’s deep inhales and exhales.

Jiang Cheng wouldn’t mind more mornings like this.  Maybe he can convince Huaisang to come back here sometime when the rest of the family is away, just the two of them and the water and the sun.  Or maybe he can convince Huaisang to be here with the entire family again, helping him navigate group dinners and outings but still spending stolen mornings drinking coffee just after the sun rises.

Huaisang follows him out to the dock after he presses a mug of coffee into his hands, keeping it black like he prefers.  The wood is damp from last night’s rain, but not uncomfortably wet.  Jiang Cheng lowers himself down, feet dipping into the cool water, and Huaisang follows, bumping their shoulders together as he sits.  Jiang Cheng exhales against the waves, letting his shoulders droop and relax.

They drink their coffee in silence, both content to wake up and greet the world around them in their own time.  Huaisang hums happily as he swirls his feet in the water, creating little waves above Jiang Cheng's ankles, and Jiang Cheng is content to exist in his presence, like he used to back when they were kids and Wei Wuxian was off trying to catch Wangji's eye at Cloud Recess.

"This is nice," Huaisang says eventually.  Jiang Cheng hums his agreement.  "I see why you like it here."

Jiang Cheng gazes out at the water, watching a loon float across the lake and leave ripples in its wake.

"Lotus Pier is home," he says.  "I love it."

Huaisang sighs and leans against Jiang Cheng's shoulder.

"Me too," he says.  "Can we stay here?  They don't need us in the cities, do they?  Let's miss our flight and hide out here, at least for a while."

"You don't think Nie Knives would miss their CEO?" Jiang Cheng asks dryly.  Huaisang snorts humorlessly.

"They'd be glad to be rid of me, actually."

Jiang Cheng frowns.

"That's not true."

Huaisang sits up and fixes Jiang Cheng with a flat look.

"I'm stupid, but I'm not oblivious.  I'm really bad at running a company.  I should give it to Zonghui and be done with it, but I just have to keep it up until Da-ge is released.  It's still his company.  I need to keep it for him."

He presses his lips together and turns back to the water.

"That could be a long time," Jiang Cheng says quietly.  Huaisang's lips twist.

"It shouldn't be," he says, knuckles white on his coffee cup.  "He shouldn't even be there.  Someone will figure out that he's innocent, and then he'll be released.  He has to."

Jiang Cheng doesn't point out that overturning convictions take months, if not years, and that's only if there's substantial evidence of innocence.  The swift hand of justice is slow as molasses, and it only moves if Mingjue’s innocence can be proven and he has powerful people lobbying for him.

Mingjue's trial was fast once it actually began.  The jury didn't deliberate for very long, and his angry outburst in court certainly didn't help public opinion.  It would take a lot to undo that.

Huaisang sighs.

"I don't want to think about that," he whines, tipping into Jiang Cheng again.  "I could almost forget that my life is all fucked up, but you had to remind me."

"Sorry," Jiang Cheng grimaces.  He knows better than most how tempting it is to use Lotus Pier as an escape, and he's not going to fault Huaisang for doing the same thing.

"It's fine," Huaisang says, voice heavy.  "I have to deal with it in two days, anyway.  Unless you think we really can stay here a bit longer?"

He looks at Jiang Cheng with wide, hopeful eyes, but Jiang Cheng has been building up his immunity to Huaisang's pleading since they were kids.

"Do you want to explain to my parents why I'm shirking my responsibilities at the company to extend my vacation at the house that they own?" he asks.  Huaisang tilts his head, considering.  "Do not try that.  It won't end well for either of us."

"I could do it!" Huaisang insists.  "I think I'm winning them over!"

Jiang Cheng shakes his head and takes a sip of his coffee.

"Just because they won't eviscerate you doesn't mean I'm free to do whatever I want as long as you're the one asking."

Huaisang hums.

"What if I convince everyone to stay?  Surely if Yanli and Wei Wuxian are still here as well, they'll be more understanding."

Jiang Cheng snorts derisively.

"They have their own lives, Huaisang.  They won't stay here for my sake.  Trust me."

In two days, Jiang Cheng will be back in his drafty apartment alone.  He'll go to work, overwork himself so he has no time to go to after-work events even if he thought he was welcome, and maybe, if it's a good day, get a text or two from Yanli and a picture of Jin Ling.

Lotus Pier is an oasis, not a reality.  The love that he sometimes feels here is an echo of the past, not a fact of the present.  Everyone always leaves.

"I don't want to leave," Huaisang sighs heavily.

He's such a drama queen.

"At least you won't be alone," Jiang Cheng argues.  "You have Zonghui helping out, not to mention Xichen and Guangyao."

Huaisang goes still, the corners of his mouth tight.  Jiang Cheng watches him carefully, frowning at his white knuckle grip on the mug and the slight increase in his breathing.

"Huaisang?" he asks carefully.

Huaisang's lips twist and he shakes his head, looking out at the horizon.

"He put my brother in jail," he says quietly, like a confession, eyes glistening.  "He knew that Da-ge didn't do it, and he still testified and put my brother in jail.  I thought he loved us."

Jiang Cheng stares, not sure how he's supposed to react.

He had no idea.  Everyone talks  about how generous Guangyao has been by advising Huaisang and still taking him under his wing despite his somewhat turbulent relationship with Mingjue.  The reason he was let go from Nie Knives years ago was never disclosed to the public, but from the outside things seemed to defrost.  Until the murder, Nie Knives and Jin Investments were still solid business partners, and Guangyao had been seen taking casual meals with Xichen and Mingjue.  It seemed like things were fine between them, and it definitely seemed like he and Huaisang still harbored affection for each other.

"He was subpoenaed," Jiang Cheng says as gently as he knows how.  "He had no choice."

"And if you had been forced to testify against Wei Wuxian?"

"That's not fair."

"Isn't it?" Huaisang demands, facing him again.  "We were family.  You and Wei Wuxian fought, just like my brother and Guangyao did.  If you were put on the stand by the prosecution, what would you have done?"

Jiang Cheng clenches his jaw.

He already knows the answer.  Regardless of Wei Wuxian's innocence, Jiang Cheng would rather lie on the stand than help lead to his downfall, even after everything.  He never believed that Wei Wuxian was guilty until he gave him no choice at all.

"The difference," Huaisang says, "is that my brother has never done anything remotely illegal.  He can be harsh, yes, but so can you.  Our family has a history of violence, but so do the Lans.  My brother may have a temper, but that doesn't make him a killer.  Da-ge always tried to do what was right.  We make kitchen knives.  If our knives were meant for killing, we'd make swords instead.  If the years with us taught Guangyao anything, it should have taught him that."

Jiang Cheng doesn't reply, looking out over the water instead.  Huaisang sniffles, then takes a drink of his coffee.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say in this instance.  There’s nothing that anyone could have said that would have made him feel better during Wei Wuxian’s disappearance, and while Huaisang can still talk to his brother, he doesn’t have the hope that ambiguity gave Jiang Cheng during those years.  Mingjue has been convicted and sentenced.  Attempting to undo it would be an impossible battle.

"Sorry," Huaisang says after a few deep breaths.  "We were having such a nice morning.  I know why Guangyao did it, and he's been helping me ever since.  I’m aware that it wasn't solely his testimony that put Da-ge in jail.  But you know me.  I'm very dramatic."

"I never would have guessed," Jiang Cheng says dryly.  He glances at Huaisang and receives a wry smile in return.  His eyes still look a little misty, so Jiang Cheng braces himself and wraps an arm around his shoulder, letting Huaisang tip into his side in a more comfortable position.  He holds his breath until he feels Huaisang relax against him, both of them looking towards the opposite shore.

"Are you sure we can't stay here?" Huaisang asks eventually, his voice small and hopeful.  "Just a few more days?"

"And what would we do?" Jiang Cheng asks.  "You hate swimming."

"I don't hate it now, " Huaisang denies.  "You would swim, and I would draw you swimming.  Or you would swim, and I would laze around doing nothing.  It'd be wonderful."

"We could stop in a few of the other shops in town," Jiang Cheng muses.  "And there are smaller boats that we can take out that are a better size for two people."

"See?  It's a good idea."

Jiang Cheng hums.

"It could be just you and me," Huaisang says with enough wistfulness in his voice for Jiang Cheng to believe that could be something he actually wants.  "And we could stay here forever and not have to deal with any of that bullshit waiting for us outside."

Jiang Cheng has often dreamed about escaping to Lotus Pier, but it was almost always ruined because he was alone.  Sure, sometimes he wants to get away from his parents, but he's spent so much time by himself since Yanli moved that being in seclusion has lost its luster, even in his favorite place.

With someone to share it with, though...

"I'm glad you came with me," he says quietly.

Huaisang doesn't reply, but he lays his head on Jiang Cheng's shoulder.  Jiang Cheng tilts his face towards his hair and closes his eyes, listening to the gentle waves hitting the bank and the faint call of the loon, long since drifted beyond their little piece of water.

He has a few more days of this.  He plans to drink it in while he can.

-/-

“Where are we going?” Huaisang asks again, holding on to Jiang Cheng’s arm as they make their way around the shore of the lake.  The sun set a few minutes ago, draping everything in a hazy blue that hasn’t quite transitioned to black yet, studded with twinkling stars.  Huaisang stumbles against a patch of uneven ground, his grip on Jiang Cheng the only thing keeping him from going down.

“We’re almost there,” Jiang Cheng says, voice hushed even though there’s no one around to hear them.  A few more steps reveal the looming figure of the boathouse beyond some bushes, faint lights inside shining from the windows.  Huaisang makes a curious noise in the back of his throat, but keeps the rest of his questions contained.

“Knock, knock,” Jiang Cheng calls as he opens the door.

“A-Cheng!  Huaisang!” Yanli greets, grinning.  “Come join us!”

The boat house is empty of boats right now except two canoes propped against the wall.  Instead, it’s full of extra lifejackets, floaties, and various water or yard games stacked on shelves, as well as wicker furniture that his siblings and brothers-in-law have already occupied.  A few electronic lanterns light the space, casting strange shadows at the walls and glinting off of the glass bottles placed in the middle of their circle, right over the hatch that opens to the water.

“What is this?” Huaisang asks, delighted.  “Is that Emperor's Smile?”

“Of course,” Wei Wuxian replies.  “Only the best alcohol for our yearly tradition!”

“There’s wine, too, as well as some other liquor if you’d prefer,” Yanli offers.

“We’ve been doing this since we were kids,” Jiang Cheng explains, tugging Huaisang further into the circle.  “Each year, we choose a day when the parents will be distracted and sneak out here to drink and play those stupid party games.  In-laws are allowed.”

The kids are both asleep.  Their parents have retired for the night after spending the day on their yearly date, something that Jiang Cheng doesn’t even pretend to understand when they hate each other.  He and his siblings have the run of the place, but the boat house has been their secret sanctuary since Wei Wuxian first ran away to it a few weeks after coming to live with them.  Yanli and Jiang Cheng spent what felt like an eternity trying to find him, fear clawing at Jiang Cheng’s throat, especially when he was the cause of Wei Wuxian’s unhappiness, but once they found him it became a haven for all of them to escape to whenever they needed, a place just for the three of them.

Jiang Cheng hated coming here the first year after Wei Wuxian left, and part of him is still bitter that Zixuan and Wangji are now regulars in the space as well, but it’s a small price to pay to have all of his siblings here again.

He hopes that Huaisang will help break through any awkwardness as well.  He’s always been up for a good time, and so far he has the best track record for getting along peacefully with all parties present.

Besides, Jiang Cheng wants him here.  They spent the whole day together relaxing and enjoying each other’s company.  Jiang Cheng swam while Huaisang sketched, then managed to coax him in the water as well, even with his complaints about it being cold.  They had lunch with Jin Ling and Yanli, and relaxed for the rest of the day, never too far from each other even while working on different things.

Jiang Cheng is amazed that Huaisang didn’t get sick of him.  Inversely, he’s amazed that he didn’t get tired of being around Huaisang, either, his social battery staying full the whole day when it drains so easily lately.

“Everyone choose a drink!” Wei Wuxian says, pulling red solo cups out of thin air.  “Water for Lan Zhan, of course.”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to see Wangji’s facial expression in response to that.  He reaches for the wine instead and passes one of the jars of Emperor’s Smile to Huaisang.  The other couples took the loveseats, but there are two chairs open that they can claim, and Jiang Cheng tugs Huaisang to one once his cup is full.

“What are we starting with?” Wei Wuxian asks, his own personal jar of Emperor’s Smile clutched in his hand, a few more no doubt hidden close by.  Whether he breaks any of them out tonight is left to be seen.

“Never have I ever?” Zixuan suggests.  “Truth or dare?”

“Remember, no dares with the lake once we begin drinking,” Yanli says, a rule she imposed after Wei Wuxian dared Jiang Cheng to stay under as long as he could in their first year of the tradition and she got scared that he died.

“I like that idea,” Huaisang says.

“We should start with never have I ever,” Jiang Cheng says.  “I’m not jumping into truth or dare completely sober.”

Wei Wuxian raises his glass.  “Agreed!”

The first few rounds start out tame and expected.  The thing about playing drinking games with people that Jiang Cheng has known since he was eight years old is that most of the information is old news until they get to the really personal stuff, and even then some topics are naturally taboo.

They don’t talk about Wei Wuxian’s time on the run very much, only small, happy anecdotes that he throws out unprompted and rarely elaborates on.  They don’t talk about Zixuan’s injury, or anyone’s parents.  They definitely don’t bring up two years ago when Wei Wuxian first came back and Jiang Cheng had a huge, embarrassing breakdown over Wei Wuxian breaking his promise to work at the company with him and abandoning him which Wei Wuxian brushed off with a quick “I’m sorry” and then completely ignored.

Things don’t get really interesting until Huaisang throws out “Never have I ever had a crush on Nie Mingjue.”

Jiang Cheng’s face burns as he takes a sip of his wine, remembering when he was fifteen years old and came face to face with Mingjue picking up Huaisang from Cloud Recess.  Suddenly, instead of admiring Mingjue’s confidence, competence, and forthright sense of right and wrong from afar, he was faced with a muscular, handsome brick wall who obviously adored his brother and refused to lower his standards of performance despite Huaisang’s whining.  Jiang Cheng lost his breath and had trouble stringing a sentence together when Mingjue met his gaze.  He turned into a bumbling mess simply because Mingjue was wearing a tank top that showed off his arm muscles.

Jiang Cheng glances around to see who else is drinking and his jaw drops.

“Zixuan?” he asks, disbelieving.  “ Yanli?”

Yanli tilts her head, cup only halfway covering the smile on her mouth.

“ Lan Zhan!?” Wei Wuxian shrieks, immediately drawing everyone’s attention.

“Mn,” Wangji hums, face impassive as he takes a sip of water.  Wei Wuxian looks like the ground has just fallen out from under him.  Jiang Cheng gapes.

He was always under the impression that Wangji had never before felt a human emotion besides disdain until he randomly fell head over heels for Wei Wuxian.

Huaisang hums in satisfaction next to him.  Jiang Cheng turns, incredulous.

“How?” he asks.  He doesn’t know what the rest of the words in that sentence are supposed to be, he just knows that he needs answers.

“Obviously you all had a crush on Da-ge,” Huaisang says.  “It’s Da-ge .  Besides, I’ve known Wangji since before I knew the rest of you.  It was cute.”

Wangji’s face remains impassive, but Jiang Cheng can see the faintest hint of color on his cheeks.

“How old were you?” Wei Wuxian asks his husband, utterly fascinated.  He doesn’t even seem scandalized now that he’s gotten over his initial surprise, just delighted to have this new piece of information.  Wangji carefully considers.

“Ten,” he says.  Wei Wuxian coos.  Jiang Cheng turns back to Zixuan.

“And you?” Jiang Cheng demands.  “What do you have to say for yourself?”

If Zixuan was treating his sister like shit because he was crushing on Nie Mingjue , of all people, Jiang Cheng is going to find an excuse to attack him.  He doesn’t care that they’ve been happily married for years, he’s still allowed to hold a grudge over all of the times Zixuan made her cry.

“Nie Mingjue was well respected and a fine looking young man,” Zixuan sniffs.

Yanli slips her arm into the crook of Zixuan’s elbow and leans against him, as if sensing that he is not fully safe from Jiang Cheng.

“It was fairly obvious if you were paying attention,” Huaisang says serenely.  “Even I noticed.”

“As if you have ever been subtle, either!” Zixuan defends.  “Never have I ever had a crush on Wei Wuxian!”

Lan Wangji drinks, of course, but so does Huaisang.  Jiang Cheng’s stomach plummets.

“What?” he asks while Wei Wuxian cackles.  “When?”

“When I was like… twelve,” Huaisang says, laying a hand on his forearm with a smile.  “It was before my crush on you.”

“Ah, Huaisang, I’m flattered,” Wei Wuxian says, plastered against Wangji’s side.  “To think, in another world we could’ve had a whirlwind tween romance!”

Wangji’s arm tightens possessively over Wei Wuxian’s shoulders.  Jiang Cheng wants to do the same with Huaisang, as ridiculous as the notion is.  He and Huaisang aren’t actually dating; even if they were, it shouldn’t matter that he had a crush on Wei Wuxian over a decade ago.

Still, the thought turns the wine in his stomach sour.  He clenches his jaw, fists already balled without his notice.

“It would’ve been epic, but we are both much happier this way,” Huaisang says.  He leans out of his chair to kiss Jiang Cheng’s cheek, softly cupping his jaw to do so.  Jiang Cheng leans into it, releasing as much tension as he can.  Huaisang keeps his hand on Jiang Cheng’s forearm when he sits back down, thumb rubbing back and forth in a soothing motion.

“You’re right, of course,” Wei Wuxian agrees.  “I can’t think of anyone better suited for me than my Lan Zhan!”

Huaisang laughs at the disgusted look Jiang Cheng gives him.

The game continues as normal from there, but Huaisang’s turns continue to keep things interesting.  He somehow knows pieces of information about everyone that they themselves weren’t even aware of, surprising everyone else in their circle as well.  They transition to truth or dare once everyone has deemed themselves sufficiently tipsy, and Huaisang adds spice to that game, too.

Everyone keeps going to him for questions.  Jiang Cheng is content to sit back and watch him recite Chinese poetry they learned years ago or talk about the last time he skipped work.

He’s less content when they dare Huaisang to switch clothes with someone in the circle and he chooses him, but that’s fine.  Huaisang’s shirt today is light and loose on him, which means it fits Jiang Cheng pretty well without being tight, but the shorts are shorter than what Jiang Cheng typically wears and a little small.

“Huaisang, truth or dare?” Yanli asks after Jiang Cheng has been left to fidget uncomfortably for a few turns.

“Truth,” Huaisang says pleasantly.

“How did you and Jiang Cheng get together?” she asks.

Jiang Cheng glances at him nervously, but Huaisang splits into a grin.

“Well, I’ve liked Jiang Cheng for a really long time, but he never showed interest in that way so I thought it was hopeless.  We never fully lost contact, but we started talking more again a while ago, then I came to visit him and it unfolded from there!”

“Come on, that doesn’t answer the question!” Wei Wuxian heckles.  “Who asked who?  Where?  When?  Make the question worthwhile!”

“Jiang Cheng asked me!” Huaisang says, leaning forward with enthusiasm.  “He was nervous, it was so cute!”

“You’re my oldest friend,” Jiang Cheng defends.  “I didn’t want to ruin anything between us, and you had already asked me and then tried to say you were kidding!  Of course I was nervous!”

“You never had to be,” Huaisang says, eyes crinkling at the corners.  “You could never ruin anything with us.”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t point out that he has a very consistent track record of absolutely obliterating all of his relationships, with the best evidence sitting in the circle with them.  He’ll take what he can get, and if that’s Huaisang’s sureness that being old friends means something even after years of drifting apart, so be it.

“I could’ve done with a bit more ceremony than you just asking me over a cup of tea in your kitchen,” Huaisang says.  “But I’m not complaining!”

“It sounds like you’re complaining,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, crossing his arms.

“I never complain about anything,” Huaisang blatantly lies.  Wei Wuxian laughs loudly, almost covering up Zixuan’s snort of disbelief.  Jiang Cheng gives Huaisang a flat look, but he just beams back at him.  Jiang Cheng breaks their staring contest first with a roll of his eyes, pulse fluttering.

“Who else have you told?” Zixuan asks.

“That’s another question and it’s not your turn,” Jiang Cheng replies immediately.

“Who else have you told?” Yanli parrots sweetly.  Jiang Cheng’s shoulders slump.

“Only you,” he says.  “We’re keeping it quiet.”

“And Da-ge,” Huaisang adds.  Jiang Cheng sits up so fast his head spins.  The room swims around him as blood rushes in his ears, every nerve alight with adrenaline and panic.

“You told your brother?”

“Of course,” Huaisang says quizzically.  “I tell him everything.  Even if I wasn’t coming with you to Lotus Pier, I would’ve told him about why I’m happier now.”

Jiang Cheng stares at him, trying to gauge if he’s lying to keep up their ruse or if he actually told Mingjue that they’re dating.  He never considered that their relationship would reach people beyond Lotus Pier, especially not a convicted felon with a temper who loves his baby brother.  Jiang Cheng and Huaisang haven’t talked about their breakup, but they’ll have to at some point.  That has always been part of the plan with their fake relationship, regardless of the way the thought fills Jiang Cheng with something suspiciously similar to heartache.  This relationship is designed to be temporary, and even amicable breakups don’t always go over well with family members.

“I’m going to die,” Jiang Cheng says faintly.  “Holy shit, I’m going to die.”

“A-Cheng, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Yanli says, uncertainty coloring her voice.  Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“He makes knives!  I’m dating his one and only baby brother and he makes knives!”

“Da-ge likes you,” Huaisang scoffs, giving Jiang Cheng an unimpressed look.  “He’s always thought you were diligent and practical, which means you’re the type of person he wants me to date, and he knows that I like you.  He took it well.”

Jiang Cheng makes a garbled noise in an attempt to refrain from blurting out that he’s significantly more worried about what Mingjue deems an appropriate punishment for breaking Huaisang’s heart than his opinion on Jiang Cheng’s character now.  If Huaisang somehow does the impossible and frees his brother early, Mingjue will be going right back to jail for Jiang Cheng’s murder, assuming that anyone finds his body.

“My brother is a good man,” Huaisang says strongly.  Jiang Cheng softens as much as he can.

“I know.  He just… cares about you.  A lot.  And he knows how to be intimidating.”

“Even Xichen gave an impressive shovel talk, and that was after Lan Zhan and I were already married,” Wei Wuxian muses, lounging against Wangji.

“He did?” Wangji asks, looking down at Wei Wuxian with the slightest crease in his eyebrows.  Wei Wuxian nods.

“It’s not like you two were nice to me, either,” Zixuan adds.

“You had already made A-jie cry,” Jiang Cheng says immediately.

“I could’ve punched you again,” Wei Wuxian threatens.

“Boys, be nice,” Yanli says.

“Sorry,” they chorus together, neither of them sounding very sorry.  Huaisang giggles.

“Anyway, good luck Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says, toasting him.  Jiang Cheng returns the gesture and drinks.

The game moves on, turning some of the focus away from them for the time being.  Jiang Cheng watches Huaisang closely out of the corner of his eye, trying to see if he offended him with his reaction to Mingjue knowing.  He seems fine, and when Jiang Cheng stretches out his legs and presses their ankles together, Huaisang doesn’t move away, instead hooking their ankles together with a small smile.

Jiang Cheng wishes they were on one of the loveseats instead of the chairs.  He wouldn’t mind being closer.  It’s not fair that the others have infinite time to be near their spouses, but Jiang Cheng has limited time with Huaisang and is still being barred from him by stupid wicker armrests.

Huaisang gets up to refill his cup, having taken drinks even when he didn’t refuse to answer a truth or do a dare.  Jiang Cheng mourns the loss of their contact, but it does allow him to watch Huaisang’s hair fall forward when he leans down, revealing a patch of skin between his neck and shoulder that Jiang Cheng’s shirt is brushing.

He’s too busy watching Huaisang rather than paying attention to the game, which is the only way he’s able to catch Huaisang when he trips over thin air.  In the space between Huaisang yelping and where he should’ve hit the ground, Jiang Cheng gets one arm around his waist and the other up to steady his cup.  Huaisang stumbles into his chair with the momentum, landing in Jiang Cheng’s lap and knocking the air out from him, warm and solid against him.

Miraculously, not a single drop of his alcohol spills.

“Oh my gosh,” Huaisang giggles.  “Jiang Cheng, my hero!”

He squirms, nearly elbowing Jiang Cheng in the face, but can’t seem to get his bearings properly under him.  Jiang Cheng hooks his arms around Huaisang’s waist, steadying him in a vain attempt to get him to stop moving against him in such a distracting way.

“Would you settle down?” he asks.  “Either get up or stay here, just stop wiggling.”

“Okay,” Huaisang says easily.  He swings his legs over one of the armrests, one arm looped behind Jiang Cheng’s neck to anchor him in place, leaning against his side and the other armrest.  Jiang Cheng tights his arms around his waist, resting his hands against Huaisang’s hip.  The hem of his shirt is tantalizingly close.  It would be incredibly easy for Jiang Cheng to slip his hands underneath, letting his fingers brush against the soft skin of Huaisang’s side.

His fingertips itch, but he keeps them where they are.

“Comfortable?” Huaisang asks, taking a sip of his drink with raised eyebrows.

“You’re a little shit,” Jiang Cheng says mildly, patting his hip.  Huaisang giggles and wiggles until he’s more comfortable, then settles.  Jiang Cheng wants to hide his face in the space by his throat and see if his laugh sounds different from there.

“Are you two still playing, or are you just going to cuddle all night?” Wei Wuxian asks.  Jiang Cheng flips him off behind Huaisang’s back.

Playing with Huaisang so close is much harder than when they were separated by the chairs but also more fun.  He can hear every small reaction Huaisang makes, both of them tipping together to giggle at one of the other four or sharing looks instead of sarcastic remarks, just like they used back at Cloud Recess.  Jiang Cheng stops taking dares in case any would force him to get up, and Huaisang seems just as content to transition to truths, giving Jiang Cheng his full attention when he’s answering and allowing Jiang Cheng to see the smallest intricacies in his expressions when he’s called on.

They have to answer a few more truths about their relationship, but it’s all relatively simple things that don’t require much lying, just repurposing the truth.  No, they haven’t had any sort of marriage discussion yet.  They’re keeping their relationship secret because courting between companies can get complicated, their families make it even more complicated, and they simply don’t feel like many people need to know.  (“It’s private, not secret,” Jiang Cheng says.)  Huaisang’s most annoying habit is how he never has what he needs when they go out, making them late or making Jiang Cheng have to pack for both of them.  Jiang Cheng’s most annoying habit is his impatience.

Jiang Cheng says that he didn’t realize he had feelings for Huaisang until he came to visit and asked him out.  Huaisang reiterates that he’s liked Jiang Cheng since they were 13 years old unprompted.

At some point, Huaisang begins playing with the strands of Jiang Cheng’s hair by the back of his neck, scratching his nails gently against his nape and pressing at the tense muscles back there.  Jiang Cheng feels happier and more relaxed than he has in years.  Huaisang apparently is a giggly drunk, and the second time he almost falls off of Jiang Cheng’s lap from laughing too hard Jiang Cheng confiscates his drink, even as he’s laughing with him and pulling him closer.

“Maybe it’s time for bed,” Yanli says from where she’s curled against Zixuan, covering her yawn with her hand.  Wangji’s eyelids have been drooping for the past hour at least, but Jiang Cheng feels wide awake, skin buzzing in all of the places Huaisang touches him.

“Do we have to?” Wei Wuxian pouts.

“Wei Ying,” Wangji says quietly.  Wei Wuxian completely melts at the sound of his name.

“You’re right, it’s time for bed,” he says.  “This has been fun!  Lan Zhan and I are going to go!  Goodnight!”

With that, he stands, tugs his husband up after him, and leaves the boat house.  Jiang Cheng blinks.

“He didn’t clean up his trash,” he grumbles.  Huaisang snorts.

“That’s okay,” Yanli says, standing and stretching.  She blinks sleepily at the cups and bottles littering the boat house and a few of the other items that got dislodged during their dares, then rubs at her eyes.

“We’ve got it, Shijie,” Jiang Cheng says, patting Huaisang’s hip again.  “You go to bed.”

“Are you sure?” Yanli asks.  Zixuan grabs a half-full bottle of wine, but doesn’t seem to know what to do with it.

“Yeah, I’m not tired yet,” Jiang Cheng replies.  Yanli gives him a grateful smile.

“Thank you.  Goodnight, A-Cheng, Huaisang.”

She leans down and presses a kiss to his forehead, then presses one to Huaisang’s as well.  Huaisang lights up, and Jiang Cheng feels like a hummingbird has taken up residence in his heart.

“Goodnight A-Li,” he says.  Zixuan gently guides her out, taking one of the lanterns and giving Jiang Cheng a nod as he goes that Jiang Cheng returns.  Huaisang waves.  Then, they’re left alone.

“Are we really going to clean up?” Huaisang asks, not moving from Jiang Cheng’s lap.

“Someone has to.”

Huaisang groans and tips his head down to Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

“I’m too tired.  I’m too drunk!  We should just stay here.”

“You’re so lazy,” Jiang Cheng chuckles, finally slipping his hand under Huaisang’s shirt, pressing his knuckles against the soft skin of his back and gently rubbing up his spine.  Huaisang’s mouth curls into a smile.

“This is not motivating me to move,” he says.

“It wasn’t supposed to,” Jiang Cheng replies.  Huaisang giggles.  Jiang Cheng has heard his laugh so much tonight, but he still wants to bottle the sound to save for later.

“You know, if you wanted to keep me here, you could just say,” Huaisang says, leaning back just enough to look at Jiang Cheng from under his eyelashes.  “I think I’ve made my stance pretty clear.”

Jiang Cheng’s head is spinning, because nothing about this situation is clear.  He knows that they’re faking their relationship, but Huaisang is a fantastic actor, much better than Jiang Cheng or anyone else gives him credit for.  Jiang Cheng will think that he knows what’s going on, but then Huaisang will say something like “I’ve liked you since we were children” or “I want to stay here with you” or “I told my brother about you because you make me happy” and Jiang Cheng wants to believe him.  Maybe he’s lonely, or maybe he’s missed Huaisang more than he thought he did.  Maybe over the years he forgot just how easily Huaisang can make him laugh, and how he lets Jiang Cheng grumble and fret without taking it personally but also doesn’t take his shit, and how easy it is to release some of those stressors when Huaisang is nearby.

They’re both different than they were as kids, but so much is the same as well.  There’s so much that Jiang Cheng wants to hold on to.

“Jiang Cheng?” Huaisang asks.  “Everything okay?”

Jiang Cheng blinks, Huaisang’s face coming back into focus, guarded again.

“Yeah, of course,” he says.  “I’m fine.  Are you fine?”

Huaisang laughs, and Jiang Cheng can exhale again.

“Come on, we’re not staying in the boat house all night,” he sighs.  Huaisang immediately latches on to him.

“We could!” he says.  “I’m comfortable!”

“I’m getting crushed,” Jiang Cheng says flatly.  Huaisang pouts.  Jiang Cheng slips an arm under his thighs, braces his feet, and stands with Huaisang safe in his arms.  He’s honestly impressed that he managed to do it after the amount of drinks he’s had.

“Jiang Cheng!” Huaisang squeals, tightening his arms around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.  “Do not drop me!”

“I’m dropping you in about three seconds if you don’t get down first,” he says.  “Ready?  One…”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Two…”

“Jiang Cheng!”

He unceremoniously drops Huaisang’s legs, keeping an arm around his waist to steady him on the way down.  Huaisang lands on his feet, but gives Jiang Cheng such a betrayed look that he can’t help but laugh.

“Come on, help me clean up,” he commands, bending to pick up some of the bottles left on the ground, testing to see which ones are empty and which need to be stored for later.

“Do we have to?” Huaisang asks, wrapping his arms around Jiang Cheng’s waist from behind and smashing his cheek against his back.  “I’m tired.  Let’s do something else.”

“Like what?” Jiang Cheng asks, continuing forward and dragging Huaisang with him.  He flips around so they’re facing each other again, chest to chest but somehow not uncomfortably close.  Huaisang’s breath catches, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, and the hummingbird in Jiang Cheng’s heart starts fluttering again.

“Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang breathes.  Jiang Cheng hums, not trusting himself to talk.  Huaisang’s gaze traps him in place, his brown eyes dark and inviting.

“Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang repeats, stopping all of the air in Jiang Cheng’s lungs.  “You are just as oblivious as Wei Wuxian.”  Then he cups the back of Jiang Cheng’s neck, rises onto his toes, and kisses him.

Jiang Cheng’s heart freezes in his chest, everything around them suspended in time as his brain tries to restart, overwhelmed by the gentle press of Huaisang’s lips against his.  Everything seems to narrow down to their points of contact: Huaisang’s hand, gentle against his nape, the other hand resting against his chest where Jiang Cheng’s heart has begun pounding again, Jiang Cheng’s hands against Huaisang’s back where they naturally fell, their lips touching.  Jiang Cheng doesn’t know when he closed his eyes, but it heightens every other sense, his nerves on fire and his ears prickling with every faint cricket chirp and Huaisang’s miniscule exhale.

When Huaisang pulls away, he feels as if he’s lost something.

“So?” Huaisang asks after Jiang Cheng has been quiet for too long, blinking up at him.  Jiang Cheng clears his throat.

“So, what?”

“So, was that alright?” Huaisang asks, looking at Jiang Cheng like he’s an idiot.  “So, do you want to do that again?  So, did I ruin everything just now?”

“Of course not,” Jiang Cheng scoffs.

“‘Of course not’ to which one?” Huaisang cries, throwing his hands up.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and tugs him back in, connecting their lips again.

Kissing Huaisang is addicting.  Jiang Cheng finds himself pulling Huaisang closer until they’re pressed flush, Huaisang swooning against him like a maiden in a regency novel.  Jiang Cheng finally gets his hands threaded through Huaisang’s hair, the strands silky-soft against his fingertips as he cups Huasiang’s jaw.  Huaisang sighs against his mouth, hands flexing around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.  Jiang Cheng slides his hand down his neck and can feel his pulse fluttering under his thumb, resting against his pulse point, beating in rhythm with Jiang Cheng’s own.  It’s comforting that they’re both in this together.  Huaisang was the one to make the first move, but he’s just as affected.

It’s easy to lose himself in the kiss, even when Huaisang’s mouth curves up in an infectious smile that makes it difficult to continue.  Jiang Cheng brushes his thumb against his neck and Huaisang giggles, shoulders hitching up.  Jiang Cheng thinks he could die happy like this.

A loud crash shatters the moment, startling Jiang Cheng out of his skin as he jumps back as if he was caught doing something terrible.  Wei Wuxian stands sheepishly by a shattered bottle, cringing.

“Sorry,” he says.  “Don’t let me stop you!  But use protection!”

“Wei Wuxian!”

Jiang Cheng’s face burns, the bubbly contentment exploding into anger instead.  Huaisang snorts into his hand and shares an amused look with Wei Wuxian, and that feels like salt in the wound.

“You be good to him, Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian shakes his finger at him, heading over to where he was sitting earlier and peering around the loveseat.  “Huaisang is one of my oldest friends, you know.  Be sure you treat him well!”

He grins up at Jiang Cheng, as if they’re sharing some joke that Jiang Cheng himself isn’t privy to.  He clenches his fists, too warm and everything stinging.

“Get out!” he yells.  “Why are you always here when I don’t want you!”

Wei Wuxian’s expression flickers, then snaps back into place.  He ducks and grabs something from the ground, holding it up to reveal his phone.

“I’m leaving, I’m leaving!  I just needed my phone,” he says, laughing hollowly as if Jiang Cheng can’t tell the difference between when he’s pretending and when he’s being sincere.  He never genuinely laughs around Jiang Cheng anymore, not the laughs that Jiang Cheng could share in.  It’s always at his expense or an empty attempt at humor.

“You can go back to making out now,” he says on his way out the door.

“Goodnight, Wei Wuxian!” Huaisang calls.  Wei Wuxian ducks back inside to grin at him.

“Goodnight, Huaisang!  Have fun!”

He winks, then disappears, fading back into the night.

“Why are you so mean to him?” Huaisang demands, rounding on him immediately.  Jiang Cheng takes a step back before he catches himself, shock landing on him like a bucket of cold water.

“What?”

“Wei Wuxian!” Huaisang says, as if there’s anyone else he would be talking about.  “You’re so fucking mean to him!  He’s your brother, and all you do is yell at and insult him!”

Jiang Cheng feels like he’s been slapped across the face.

“What are you talking about?” he asks.  “He doesn’t talk to me anymore, Huaisang!  I don’t have the chance to yell at him!”

Huaisang flings an arm towards the door of the boathouse, where Wei Wuxian has just disappeared.

“He started it!” Jiang Cheng defends.  “He interrupted and then– he–”

Huaisang rolls his eyes.

“Wow,” he mutters.  Jiang Cheng lets out a frustrated growl, hating the way that he can’t describe what, exactly, made Wei Wuxian get under his skin just now.  Before, Wei Wuxian’s teasing wasn’t malicious.  Before, he might have told Huaisang to be good to Jiang Cheng instead of the other way around.  Being Wei Wuxian’s brother would have meant more than being one of his oldest friends.

“You have everything I want,” Huaisang says, voice shaking.  “Your brother is here!  He came back to life, and you can’t stop thinking of yourself long enough to recognize that he came back to you!”

“He did not come back to me,” Jiang Cheng snarls.  “Don’t pretend you know anything about me and Wei Wuxian.”

Huaisang laughs, the sound bitter and sharp.

“I am the only person who would have any idea of what you’re going through!  My brother–”

“Your brother is a murderer,” Jiang Cheng snaps.  He sees the words hit Huaisang, watches him reel back and can taste them like poison in his throat, killing any sweetness from before.

Huaisang said nothing he could do would ruin everything between them, but Jiang Cheng just proved him wrong.

“Huaisang–”

“Don’t,” Huaisang says, throwing his hands in front of him to ward Jiang Cheng away.  “Don’t talk to me.  I can’t even–”

He turns abruptly on his heel and stalks for the door, all traces of early clumsiness disappearing under perfectly straight posture and layers of hurt and anger.  He stops at the door, turning back with fire in his eyes.

“Do not try to follow me,” he says.  “You’d better hope I’m asleep by the time you finish cleaning this up, because I don’t want to see you for the rest of the night.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply, snatching the lantern by the entrance and letting the door close with a definite bang behind him, leaving Jiang Cheng in darkness.

He tries to take deep breaths, attempting to quell the volcano bubbling in his chest to no avail.  A bottle shatters against the side of the boathouse and it takes him a moment to realize that it’s because he threw it.  It doesn’t make him feel better.  It’s just more shit for him to clean up.

Fuck, he already ruined things.  Five days has to be a record, even for him.

He picks up another bottle, winding back to throw.

Huaisang’s devastated expression flashes in his mind.  All of the fight leaves him at once.

“Shit,” he whispers, looking down at the bottle.  “ Shit.”

He takes a few more breaths, clenching and unclenching his jaw until he can feel the start of a headache, the volcano still boiling in his blood, but not erupting.

He doesn’t have time for this.  He starts gathering the bottles, then the pieces of broken glass.  It doesn’t mean anything in the face of everything else he’s broken, but maybe by the time he finishes here Huaisang will be asleep, or the dawn will be breaking and he won’t have to face him at all.

-/-

Jiang Cheng stumbles into the house a little later than usual, neck aching and eyes grainy with too-little sleep.  The wicker loveseat in the boat house isn’t comfortable enough to sleep on, but Huaisang wanted space and the only thing worse than arguing with him about Wei Wuxian would be doing so again close enough for everyone in the house to overhear.  Jiang Cheng would rather lose sleep for a night than risk waking him and facing that.  The waves lapping at the bottom of the boat house eventually lulled him into some sort of catatonic state, and combined with the alcohol and his exhaustion, he doesn’t wake enough to move inside until after the sun is already in the sky.

The house is still and quiet when he carefully sneaks into the kitchen, mindful of not letting the screen door slam.  He pauses for a second, getting his bearings with his headache and whatever war the rest of his body is raging, then decides he can’t even think about food until he’s used the bathroom and taken some ibuprofen.

A noise from the kitchen puts him on high alert before the ibuprofen can even pretend to kick in.  He creeps around the corner, ready to bolt at the sign of Huaisang or Wei Wuxian, but he finds Jin Ling instead, peering just over the counter and reaching for the bread.  He’s small for his age, and the bread remains out of reach, fingers just brushing the bag no matter how much he struggles and strains.

“What are you doing?” Jiang Cheng asks.  Jin Ling jumps, then beams at him.

“Jiujiu!  I want cinnamon toast!”

“What do you say?” Jiang Cheng sighs, turning to start the coffee brewing.

“Please!  Please, Jiujiu?”

Jiang Cheng sighs again and nods.

“Alright.  Don’t touch anything.”

He lifts Jin Ling onto the counter so he doesn’t run around sticking his grubby fingers everywhere, then puts a piece of bread in the toaster and gathers the butter and cinnamon sugar he’ll need to complete Jin Ling’s favorite breakfast.

Jin Ling babbles while Jiang Cheng tries to wake up and become a functioning person again.  Every kick of his heels against the lower cabinets sends a pulse of pain through his skull, but coffee tempers the annoyance and Jin Ling’s smile tempers the pain.

“Thanks Jiujiu, you’re the best!” he grins when Jiang Cheng hands him his toast.

“Come on,” Jiang Cheng says, lifting him down from the counter.  “We’re going to the dock.  I’m not leaving you here when no one else is awake.

Jin Ling runs down the yard ahead of Jiang Cheng, but slows to a walk at the dock without having to be told, remembering all of the water safety Jiang Cheng has drilled into him since before he could talk.  They settle at the end, Jin Ling's toes barely brushing the water when he stretches.  He peers down at it curiously, trying to spot some fish, and Jiang Cheng has to grab his plate so his toast doesn't go sliding into the lake.

He tries to stay engaged while Jin Ling jabbers through breakfast, but he can feel himself sinking into melancholy instead.  Jin Ling points out a family of loons smoothly sliding by and his only response is a grunt, and he doesn't notice Jin Ling speaking with his mouth full until his toast is almost gone.

He doesn't know what he's going to do about Huaisang, especially since he's the one who started it by butting his nose into Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's business and making Jiang Cheng out to be the bad guy.

Jiang Cheng has always yelled at Wei Wuxian.  Wei Wuxian didn't start taking it personally until after he had already pulled away.  If Jiang Cheng could fix everything himself, he would have by now.  Wei Wuxian has to want it, too, and for Huaisang to come here saying he's on Jiang Cheng's side but then blame him for everything wrong with Wei Wuxian...

"Jiujiu?" Jin Ling asks.

"Hm?" Jiang Cheng blinks.  "Yes?  What do you want?"

"Are you sad?"

Jiang Cheng meets Jin Ling's gaze, his eyes wide and sad and staring up at Jiang Cheng like he's going to burst into tears of sympathy.  He gets that from his mother.  Hopefully he'll grow out of it, or he'll have his heart broken every day as an adult.

"It's not your concern," Jiang Cheng says, turning back to the lake.  "I'm fine, Jin Ling."

"I don't want you to be sad, Juijui!  I can fix it!"

"It's not yours to fix," Jiang Cheng sighs.  "I had an argument with someone.  I'll figure it out."

"You had an argument with Huaisang?" Jin Ling guesses, devastated.  "But... but I like Huaisang!  I don't want you to be sad!  Did he hurt your feelings?"

Jiang Cheng wrinkles his nose, a sharp rebuttal on his tongue, but Yanli has talked a lot about teaching Jin Ling to acknowledge his feelings so he can learn to work through them, especially his sadness.  As Jin Ling's role model, it's something that Yanli wants him to work on as well.

"Yes, he did," he says.  "But I hurt his feelings, too.  We... weren't very nice, and I think I was meaner."

Jin Ling's face twists into a frown.

"Dad says when you make someone sad, you have to try really really hard to make them happy again, even if saying sorry is very hard, because if it makes you sad then it's probably because they're right and your wrong, and if you say sorry then maybe he will say sorry back and everything will be okay!"

Jiang Cheng chews on this.  The thought makes his skin crawl, but he knows the power of an apology, even if the other party only halfway means it.

When did his nephew get so smart?

"Sometimes, your father has alright ideas, as much as I don't want to admit it."

"Dad is very smart," Jin Ling nods.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, because that's a stretch.

"Finish your toast," he says instead of commenting, nudging Jin Ling with his elbow.  Jin Ling scoots closer until he's pressed against Jiang Cheng's arm, then continues happily munching on his toast and babbling along.  Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes fondly, dislodging Jin Ling just long enough to wrap an arm around his shoulders instead.  It only keeps him calm and contained as long as the toast lasts, but once he finishes Jiang Cheng is content to wade in the shallows with him, kicking up sand and then standing still to attract minnows, Jin Ling giggling while they nibble on his toes.

"Boys!" Yanli calls from the door eventually, looking worn but content.  "Come inside and get ready for the day."

"Yes mom!" Jin Ling calls.  Then he turns to Jiang Cheng, face serious.  "Remember, you have to say you're sorry."

"Don't be impertinent," Jiang Cheng commands, but he ruffles Jin Ling's hair as they make their way to Yanli.

Jiang Cheng knows that he's right.  He should apologize, if only to make things bearable for the rest of their short time here.  If he wants any chance of keeping Huaisang after they leave Lotus Pier, they need to fix things today.

-/-

Jiang Cheng doesn’t have a chance to talk to Huaisang until late afternoon, because Huaisang skillfully and thoroughly ignores him.  When everyone goes on one last family swim, he constantly hangs by Wei Wuxian with a wide smile and ample laughter, always managing to slip away when Jiang Cheng tries to corner him and refusing to meet his eyes.  When at the house, he disappears.  Jiang Cheng finds him talking to both his mother and father at various points, sharing corporate gossip and easy conversation, and he meditates with Wangji and spends time around Zixuan, telling Jiang Cheng that he’s busy with faux sweetness.  Jiang Cheng grits his teeth and has no choice but to walk away and bide his time.

His skill of avoidance without letting anyone else know that there’s a problem would be impressive if it wasn’t being used against Jiang Cheng right now.  Instead, it’s infuriating.

When he finally catches Huaisang alone, he’s at the table with his art supplies spread around him, staring at the fan of Lotus Pier.  He’s worked on a few other sketches and smaller fans over the course of his time here, but the Lotus Pier fan has been a constant project, one that’s nearly finished now.

He comes into view and sits down across from him, careful not to startle him and risk messing up the art.  Huaisang doesn’t even glance at him, meticulously detailing the miniscule shape of a loon gliding across the lake.

Jiang Cheng clears his throat.  Huaisang continues to paint.

“Huaisang,” he tries.  Huaisang purses his lips, rinsing his brush in a cup of water.  “Please stop ignoring me.”

Huaisang sighs, inspecting another brush laying out on the table.

“You’re blocking my view.”

“If you weren’t ignoring me, I wouldn’t have to,” he snaps.  Huaisang hums and picks up a different brush.  He tests the bristles against his wrist, then pauses and chooses yet another brush instead.  Jiang Cheng grits his teeth.

“Wei Wuxian and I aren’t you and Mingjue,” he makes himself say.  Huaisang freezes, then sighs and folds his hands in front of him, finally looking at Jiang Cheng for the first time all day.  The look he gives him is scornful enough to make flowers wither.

“Is that all you came to say?”

“Are you going to listen?” he shoots back.  Huaisang tightens his lips, turning them white with the pressure.  Jiang Cheng clenches and unclenches his fists.  He can’t yell at Huaisang right now.  That’s not the point.

“Wei Wuxian and I aren’t you and Mingjue,” he repeats, feeling like he has to force the words through a space they don’t fit.  “We don’t… We never… Just because I yell at him doesn’t mean that I don’t care about him.  We’ve always been this way.”

Huaisang shakes his head, turning back to his brushes.

“It never mattered before,” Jiang Cheng growls.  “But he doesn’t like me anymore.  I searched for him for years, and I wouldn’t even know he was still alive if Mom didn’t force him to come back.  He doesn’t want to be here.  He doesn’t want to talk to me.  I’m not going to force him.  Me being mean isn’t the problem, and we’re not like you and Mingjue.  When–if we start getting along, it’s going to be in our own way.”

Huaisang hums.

“I don’t know how any of this is my problem,” he says, bored.

“You–”  Jiang Cheng stops and takes a deep breath.

“I’m trying to explain,” he says slowly.  “With Wei Wuxian, I trusted him 100% the whole time.  I didn’t believe what anyone else, including your brother, said about him.  I thought he had it all under control, and he didn’t.  Zixuan nearly died.  Jin Ling almost didn’t have a father, and Yanli was almost a widow.  But… you and Mingjue aren’t me and Wei Wuxian.”

Huaisang looks at him again, studying his face, mouth turning down in a frown that he tries and fails to hide.

“You still don’t believe he’s innocent, though,” he says.  He blinks, eyes glassy, and Jiang Cheng looks away.  He can’t give him the answer he wants.

“I’m sorry I said it,” he says.  “And if you want, I can look at his case.  Off the record, of course.  But if there’s a flaw in the defense or cause for a mistrial, I can help you find it.”

“You would do that?  Even for someone you think stabbed another man in cold blood?”

Jiang Cheng shrugs.

“You think he’s innocent.  He’s all you have.”

Mingjue was never charitable towards Wei Wuxian when he was first accused of illegal activities, then terrorism.  He didn’t extend Wei Wuxian nearly the same courtesy that Jiang Cheng is trying to scrape up for him, and he certainly never seemed like someone who would need or want someone to fight for him.  He’s blunt and angry, and he yells just as much as Jiang Cheng does.  In the same way that Jiang Cheng is his mother’s son, Mingjue is his father’s son, down to the bursts of anger and reports of violence.

But Huaisang believes that he’s innocent, without a shadow of a doubt.  Maybe he’s as foolish as Jiang Cheng was, or maybe he just needs someone who knows what they’re doing to take a closer look.

Huaisang blinks rapidly, looking up at the ceiling to avoid allowing tears to fall.

“He doesn’t have to be all that I have.”

Jiang Cheng’s breath catches in his throat.  Huaisang gives him a watery smile.

“Oh?” Jiang Cheng asks.  Something like hope is threatening to bloom in his chest, but he’s had enough disappointment for a lifetime.  It does no good to overestimate his place in people’s lives, especially not now.

Huaisang takes a deep breath.

“Come on, Jiang Cheng,” he says, holding his gaze evenly despite the slight shake in his voice.  “You know where I stand.”

“I’ve never once known where you stand for sure,” he replies.  “Even at Cloud Recess, you always kept me on my toes.”

“Who, me?” Huaisang asks with a self-deprecating laugh.  “I’m just a silly little guy.”

Jiang Cheng shakes his head vehemently.

“You’re so much more, even if you pretend you’re not.”

Huaisang looks down at his fan, collecting himself.

“What do you want, Jiang Cheng?” he asks once he can meet his gaze again.  Jiang Cheng threads his fingers together under the table.

“I don’t want to miss you anymore.”

Huaisang inhales.  Jiang Cheng can’t breathe, all sense and any lingering confidence leaving with that admission, frozen in his spot.  Huaisang gazes at him from across the table, but Jiang Cheng is too busy panicking to try to read him.

“I thought this would be more complicated,” Huaisang says eventually, quietly, more to himself than to Jiang Cheng.  Jiang Cheng continues to not breathe, suffocating slowly under the mortifying ordeal of admitting that he has normal human desires.

Huaisang stands, carefully straightening his art supplies and pushing in his chair.  Jiang Cheng watches him walk around the table until he’s standing next to him, making Jiang Cheng tilt his head up and wonder if he should stand and try to get them on even footing again.  Before he can make up his mind, Huaisang slips his arms around his neck and slides into his lap, a distorted mirror of last night.  Jiang Cheng wraps his arms around him automatically and Huaisang hides his face in his neck, squeezing him back.

“You’re allowed to be happy , Jiang Cheng,” Huaisang says, breath tickling his throat.  “All you have to do is ask.”

Jiang Cheng holds him closer.

“You can be happy, too,” he says.  Huaisang shudders against him.  “Maybe… we can be happy together?”

Huaisang leans back enough to look at him, bringing his hands up to carefully cup Jiang Cheng’s face.  His eyes are glistening, but he’s smiling.

“I would love nothing more than to be happy with you.”

When Huaisang kisses him, wrapped up in his arms in a place that holds his fondest memories with all of his family all within a mile radius, it feels like coming home.

-/-

Jiang Cheng wakes slowly and painlessly, arms wrapped around Huaisang and his hair tickling his face.  The sky outside is still pink and yellow, and the sound of the waves from his lake call to him like a siren song.

He'd love to stay here and waste the morning away with Huaisang, but it's his last morning at the lake until Thanksgiving.  He wants to watch the dawn break from his dock.

He carefully untangles himself from Huaisang and the covers, moving slowly in order to avoid waking him.  Jiang Cheng is loath to disturb him when he looks so peaceful, and although they’ll have time together later, if Huaisang asks him to stay in bed now he knows he will.  Eventually, he manages to leave their bed and, with one last look back at the serenely sleeping man he's leaving behind, their room.

The house is quiet while he makes his coffee, and Jiang Cheng tries to maintain that peacefulness as he slides open the door leading out to their yard and the dock.

Wei Wuxian turns around at the sound, black clothing standing out against the softer hues of the water and the sky.  He's in Jiang Cheng's spot at the end of the dock, no doubt hanging his feet in the water like Jiang Cheng usually does, and Jiang Cheng steels himself with a deep breath.  Wei Wuxian eyes him cautiously.

"I can leave," he says as Jiang Cheng gets closer, footsteps always echoing louder on the dock than anywhere else.  Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

"I don't have a monopoly on the dock," he says, pausing a few feet away when he never would have stopped before.  Wei Wuxian gestures to the empty bit of wood next to him, and Jiang Cheng carefully lowers himself down, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Sizhui says he and Lan Zhan see you out here a lot when they come back from their walks," Wei Wuxian says after a beat.  "I guess some things never change."

"Really?" Jiang Cheng asks.  He figured neither of the Lans would spare him enough of a thought to mention to Wei Wuxian.

"Yeah, you were always out here early when we were kids," Wei Wuxian snorts, misinterpreting his question.

"You never would've been out here early as a kid," Jiang Cheng replies instead of correcting him.  "I guess living with Lan Wangji is rubbing off on you."

"Oh, absolutely not," Wei Wuxian says cheerfully.  "I stayed up all night!  Don't want to miss our early flight.  We're leaving in..." he squints at the sky, as though telling the time from the position of the sun.  "An hour?  Two hours?  Soon."

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but it's comforting to know that some things never change.  There are parts of Wei Wuxian that are still recognizable to him, even if the rest of him reads more like a stranger than someone who shaped Jiang Cheng into the person he is today.

"You won't have to put up with me after this.  Lan Zhan and I are considering Thanksgiving with the Wens this year, to give Sizhui more time with them during the holidays."

"What?" Jiang Cheng asks sharply, nearly dropping his coffee in the lake.  "You're not coming for Thanksgiving?"

Wei Wuxian laughs tightly.

"No need to be so excited.  I haven't told the others yet, but I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful holiday."

"You're a fucking idiot," he seethes, slamming his cup down so hard on the dock he's surprised it doesn't shatter.  Wei Wuxian gives him an unimpressed side-eye.  “Thanksgiving is one of three fucking times during the year that we see each other, and now you want to cut that out, too?  What was the point of coming back to life if you’re going to keep running away?”

“What are you talking about?” Wei Wuxian asks, like Jiang Cheng is the weird one for having feelings about this when Wei Wuxian has decided to abandon his family .  The white-hot anger that only he can seem to invoke flares so strong that tears prick at his eyes.

“You always do this!” he yells.  Wei Wuxian glances at the house behind them in alarm and Jiang Cheng blinks to try and clear his vision, tears escaping to drip down his cheeks.  "If you hated us so much from the beginning, you should've ran away earlier and stayed away!"

"I don't hate you," Wei Wuxian says.  "You hate me!"

"I hate you because you keep leaving me!"

"No," Wei Wuxian frowns, shaking his head.  "You hate me because I helped people who almost burned our home, committed acts of cyber terrorism, and almost got Zixuan killed."

"Stop trying to tell me how I feel!" Jiang Cheng yells, slamming down his mug again.  It does crack this time, coffee flowing over his fingers where the ceramic has given away.  "I don't hate that you did those things, I hate that you did them without me!"

"Why would I bring you with me?" Wei Wuxian asks as if he never promised to stay with Jiang Cheng forever.  It lands like a slap to the face.  "It was too dangerous.  It would have ruined your reputation and the company.  Besides, you saw how miserable it was.  I didn't want you to be miserable, too."

Jiang Cheng did visit once, before things got truly bad and before they fully cut off contact in case the police investigated the Jiang family further for their connection to Wei Wuxian.  The entire time, he just wanted to take Wei Wuxian back home, even if it meant kidnapping him to do so.

"I could've helped," Jiang Cheng insists.  Wei Wuxian reaches out and puts a hand on Jiang Cheng's shoulder, squeezing.  It's the first contact they've had since Jiang Cheng's last explosive breakdown, when Wei Wuxian did the exact same thing.

"You did help," he says.  "You kept Yanli safe, and you continued protecting everything else we love."

"Except for you."

Wei Wuxian shakes his head.

"That's not your job."

"Yes it is.  You're my brother."

Wei Wuxian looks at him for a moment, then pulls him in for a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around him.  All of Jiang Cheng's instincts tell him to push him away, scratching like a feral cat, to find a way to hurt him as much as he hurt Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng collapses against him instead, burying his face in Wei Wuxian's shoulder and clinging with just as much urgency.  He exhales for what feels like the first time since Wei Wuxian initially left all of those years ago.

"I don't want to fight with you," Wei Wuxian says eventually, still hugging him.  Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

"I'll always be mad you had to do everything alone, but I don't want to fight anymore, either," he replies.  "I just want things to go back to how they were."

He knows that it's too much as soon as he says it, but he's been stripped raw so often during this trip and hasn't had a chance to regrow the skin.  So much has been poured out of him that he's surprised he isn't a shallow husk by now.

“Things will never be the way they were,” Wei Wuxian says.  Jiang Cheng knows this; he doesn’t need to hear it from Wei Wuxian.

Knowing doesn’t prevent him from feeling like he’s losing him all over again every time he remembers.

"But we will always be brothers," Wei Wuxian continues.  "In this life, and in the next.  Remember?"

Jiang Cheng swallows and nods, thankful that Wei Wuxian can't see his face, even if he must be able to feel the damp patches on his shirt caused by his tears.

Wei Wuxian finally lets go of him, both too soon and long overdue.  Jiang Cheng's skin prickles uncomfortably.

"I'll talk to Lan Zhan about Thanksgiving," Wei Wuxian says seriously.  "We'll see what happens."

It's as good as Jiang Cheng is going to get.  Wei Wuxian has his own family now.  He will never again be the most important person in his life, and that's something that he has to learn to live with.

"If not, you can always come to New York for a few days," Jiang Cheng offers.  "Yanli usually comes up for my birthday, and I'm sure she would like celebrating with us both in one place instead of having to travel between us."

The corner of Wei Wuxian's mouth ticks up, just enough.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he teases.  "Do you remember the last time we celebrated our birthdays together?"

Jiang Cheng shudders.

"Maybe it will be better this time," he offers.  Wei Wuxian laughs, loud in the quiet morning.

"Jiang Cheng, are you feeling alright?  That is far too optimistic for you.  Is this Huaisang's good influence?  You've gotten soft now that you're in love!"

"Shut up," Jiang Cheng says, face heating.

"Aw, you're blushing!" Wei Wuxian cackles.  "So cute!"

"I will push you in this lake!"

"I'm done, I'm done," Wei Wuxian insists, laughter petering out.  His grin doesn't dim, but it softens when he looks at Jiang Cheng again.

"I'm very happy for you, and for Huaisang.  I'm glad you both found each other again."

Jiang Cheng softens, too.  He’s touched, and he can’t find the right words to express it.

"Of course, it will also be good for you to get laid regularly,” Wei Wuxain continues blithely.  “I know that me and Lan Zhan--"

Jiang Cheng pushes him into the lake, but forgets to pull his feet up onto the dock before Wei Wuxian takes hold of his ankle and pulls him in after him.  Jiang Cheng will deny that he yelped until his dying day, but the water is cold, and the force of Wei Wuxian's tug pulls him under despite the lack of depth here.

"You--" he says as soon as he resurfaces, spitting lake water and furiously swiping his hair out of his eyes.  He lunges for Wei Wuxian before he can properly see, following the sound of his laughter, and they grapple in the lake like children, chasing and dunking each other at every opportunity.  Wei Wuxian is scrappy, but Jiang Cheng is strong and lives for the water.  It's an even match right up until Wei Wuxian gets an arm around his shoulders and digs his knuckle against Jiang Cheng's head in a noogie.

"Wei Ying!"

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian calls happily, not stopping the torture despite Jiang Cheng's flailing.  "Good morning!"

Wangji and Sizhui stare at them from the porch, likely coming back from a walk like every morning, and Jiang Cheng hopes desperately that the presence of a child is enough to keep Lan Wangji from interfering.  The door to the house opens, and Huaisang steps out, rubbing at his eyes sleepily and then freezing when he sees them both in the lake.

"Wei Wuxian, are you trying to drown my boyfriend?"

Jiang Cheng takes the moment of distraction to elbow Wei Wuxian in the side and finally break out of his hold, dunking him again for good measure before booking it back to shore.

"Huaisang!" he calls joyfully, holding his arms out with a grin.  Huaisang's eyes widen.

"Do not hug me when you're this wet.  No, Jiang Cheng--"

Huaisang hugs him back despite his protests, although he heaves a theatrical, long-suffering sigh.  Behind him, Jiang Cheng can hear Wei Wuxian ask for a hug from Wangji.

"Good morning," Jiang Cheng sighs happily.  Huaisang presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Good morning, darling."

"Do we have time for breakfast?" Wei Wuxian asks loudly, breaking the moment.  "Jiang Cheng makes wonderful omelets.  Lan Zhan, please say we have time for an omelet!"

"Who says I want to make one for you?" Jiang Cheng asks, but Wei Wuxian beams at him instead of shying away, hearing the unsaid yes, of course, you're my brother hiding in his words.

"Sizhui, you should learn how to make an omelet from Jiang Cheng.  Come on!  I'm hungry now!  Nearly drowning Jiang Cheng really worked up an appetite!"

"You--"

Wei Wuxian flounces to the door, holding it open with a flourish for Wangji and Sizhui to walk through.  Huaisang grabs Jiang Cheng's hand and squeezes it once, giving him a smile before tugging him forward to follow.  Wei Wuxian pointedly looks at their joined hands and waggles his eyebrows at Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng was wrong about everything up until this moment.

This is the happiest he's been in years.

-/-

Leaving Lotus Pier is always bittersweet, like looking at a photo album where half of the pictures are blurred and knowing that some day the memories accompanying them will be equally blurry.  Jiang Cheng methodically makes his way around their bedroom, checking that they have everything packed away before he zips up the suitcase.  Huaisang sits on the bed and watches him, fiddling with his sketchbook because “you’d just have to double check everything for me anyway, so having you do it first saves time!”  

“Are you ready?” Huaisang asks while Jiang Cheng surveys the room again, taking in the view of the lake from this window framed by the teal curtains, the rumpled covers on the bed that he’ll have to straighten once Huaisang stands, the familiar patterns on the rugs covering the hardwood floor that he has had memorized since he was young.  The room has been reset to when they first arrived, no sunglasses on the bedside table or articles of clothing draped in the closet or over furniture.  Once they leave, it’ll stand empty again, cold and lonely until they return.

“Jiang Cheng?”

Jiang Cheng blinks at Huaisang, watching him with open curiosity and no judgment.  Jiang Cheng now knows what it feels like to eat dinner with their knees pressed together under the table, how smooth his skin is at the small of his back, and what his smile tastes like.  He knows what Huaisang looks like drenched with lake water and what he looks like in the early morning, dappled with sun while he sleeps.

Jiang Cheng gets to leave with him.  Huaisang is coming with, not staying rooted here in the tangle of memories that he’s forced to let go of after every trip.  There’s a paper fan secured in his luggage that will go on the wall of his living room for the world to see.

He’s leaving with more things gained than lost, this time around.

“Yeah, I’m ready.  Do you have your wallet and sunglasses?”

Alarm flashes across Huaisang’s face as he scrambles to find them, and Jiang Cheng can’t help the fondness he feels.

Saying goodbye to his family is a routine and detached thing at this point.  Their last real moment together was last night’s dinner, with everyone helping to prepare the food and then eating around the table, laughing and talking as if they couldn’t imagine being anywhere else despite any lingering wounds that haven’t scabbed over.  Now, Jiang Cheng and Huaisang are the last two to leave besides his parents.  Wei Wuxian and the Lans left in the morning, right after breakfast, and Jiang Cheng saw them off with a wave and a weight off his shoulders.  He hugged Jin Ling and Yanli tightly when they left, shaking hands with Zixuan while Huaisang promised that they all can visit him whenever they’d like, then watched them from the end of the driveway as they drove away in the rental car to catch their own flight.

Jiang Cheng’s parents don’t walk them out the door or wave from the window until they’re out of sight.  Instead, he finds them in the living room, where they exchange pleasantries about having a safe flight back.  His mother gives Huaisang a disapproving once-over and tells him to take care of Jiang Cheng, which is how he knows that he really did win her over.  His father claps Huaisang on the back, more affection and familiarity than he has offered Jiang Cheng since childhood.

He refuses to let it bother him.  He’ll see both of his parents at work soon enough.

Jiang Cheng watches Lotus Pier disappear from the window of the car to the airport, then says a silent goodbye to all of the shop fronts and familiar, twisting roads that they pass.  Huaisang doesn’t comment, just keeps a hold of his hand as they pass the long car ride in comfortable silence.

By the time they settle into chairs at their gate, Jiang Cheng has finished saying his goodbyes.  Huaisang leans against him, a comforting weight at his side with their arms looped.  Jiang Cheng tilts his face towards him and asks softly “What’s next for you, when you get home?”

Huaisang hums.

“Your parents told me some very interesting things during this week,” he says.  Jiang Cheng blinks, mind taking half a second to understand, because Huaisang said it in Mandarin.  He hasn’t heard him speak it since Cloud Recess.

“What?” he asks, continuing in kind.

“Just corporate gossip, really, but they had some… particular things to say about Jin Guangyao, especially concerning his whereabouts during certain key events related to Da-ge’s case.  Nothing definitive, but when put together with some information that I’ve found, as well as something Wei Wuxian let slip about a certain known criminal named Xue Yang…”

Jiang Cheng pulls back just far enough to properly stare at him, the wheels in his mind turning.

“Jin Guangyao framed my brother for murder,” Huaisang says, meeting his eyes steadily.  “I’m going to take him down.  And I’d really like for you to help me do it.”

Jiang Cheng barely has to consider his answer.  If Huaisang can make such a bold statement with confidence, it’s at least worth looking into.  Jiang Cheng will not allow a murderer to roam free, especially one who has easy access to Jin Ling and the rest of Jiang Cheng’s family.

“Of course.  Anything you need.”

Huaisang smiles, sending warmth through Jiang Cheng.  He knows that it won’t be as simple as snapping his fingers and fixing everything, and he knows that depending on his findings, there could be severe ramifications for the business world depending on how many of their fucked up families are involved, but still…

Jiang Cheng imagines sitting in this same airport next year, with Huaisang still by his side, Mingjue newly released and the actual mastermind and murderer behind bars, Jiang Cheng’s family waiting for them at Lotus Pier.

Reality will be different.  Getting Mingjue released in a year is a tall order even if they find proper evidence of his innocence, and gathering the proper evidence to have Jin Guangyao arrested and convicted will be difficult.  There’s no telling whether his family will be warmer or colder towards him in a year’s time, and their travel plans may not include this airport.

If there’s one thing Jiang Cheng knows, however, it’s that he’ll do whatever he can to ensure that Huaisang will be there by his side.  As long as Jiang Cheng has something to say about it, they’re in this together.