Chapter Text
“So this Shanks guy.”
Luffy raises his head. He’s been doing whatever he’s been doing when he perches himself on Merry’s figurehead. The fact that he sinks like a rock at the barest contact with seawater doesn’t seem to deter him from claiming the spot as his. That said, he also manages to lose his balance at least once a week, so Zoro is mostly here for insurance.
Mostly.
“Shanks?” There is a question in Luffy’s smile. “What about him?”
Zoro shrugs. Leans against the rails and affects nonchalance as best as he can while in reality his stomach is doing all sorts of uncomfortable back flips. He doesn’t like prying. And it’s not like he usually cares about these things. But Luffy has mentioned the name a couple of times and… there’s a point where Zoro simply needs to know, okay. Duties of a first mate and all.
Also, here and now is an opportunity. They’re mostly alone on the forward deck. Sanji is inside dealing with lunch prep and Usopp has appropriated the storeroom to… do something with explosives, who knows. Nami is at the other end of the ship, tending to her orange trees and largely ignoring the rest of the world, including prying first mates and oblivious captains.
Zoro takes a deep breath. “He sounds like an alright guy.”
“Oh, he’s the best.” Luffy turns and Zoro finds himself subjected to one of his brightest and most blinding smiles. “He’s my hero. Absolutely coolest pirate captain ever.”
“Right.” Zoro firmly ignores the surge of something sour and bitter inside him. Must be something he ate earlier. “You’ve known him for long,” he says instead, keeping his tone painstakingly neutral.
Luffy nods vigorously. “Since I was kid. He used to come around to the village with his crew and– hey, have I told you that he saved my life?”
Luffy has, in fact, not told him that, and now Zoro is trying to fit this huge piece of highly unpleasant revelation inside his chest and breathe around it. Not that the preservation of Luffy’s life is anything unpleasant, of course. If anything, it’s something to be grateful for—and Zoro is grateful. Except for the fact that this guy Shanks (who’s probably not so alright after all) is the one who saved Luffy’s life.
Zoro has never saved Luffy’s life. In fact, it happened the other way around. Luffy saved his life.
“It was really cool,” Luffy continues, completely oblivious to his first mate’s silent breakdown, “but also really dumb. I was this dumb stubborn kid who only wanted to be a pirate. I tried literally anything to join his crew. Like stabbing myself in the face and eating a Devil Fruit.” He pauses and something in his expression goes serious but soft. “He lost his left arm when he saved my life.”
Zoro says nothing for the longest time. No matter what he feels about Coolest Pirate Captain Shanks, the fact that he saved Luffy’s life and lost a limb doing so means that he can have all Zoro’s respect. The rest of the mess, his feelings and all those useless stuffs, is Zoro’s own problem to deal with and no one else’s.
“Zoro?”
He almost starts. Luffy has jumped down from his perch and is now suddenly at his side, peering up at him.
“Too close,” Zoro mutters, pushing him away. If it comes out a bit snappish, then he’s perfectly ready to blame the day’s heat and the lack of wind and everything else in between. After all, why else would his captain’s proximity make him uncomfortable.
Luffy obligingly takes a step back but keeps an inquiring gaze on him. “Were you after him?”
Zoro freezes. “What.”
“Your pirate hunter thing.” There's a small frown on Luffy’s brow, completely at odds with the upward curve of his mouth. “Koby said Shanks is really famous. Were you after his bounty?”
“No.” Zoro cannot help but mirror the frown. The idea has never even crossed his mind. Bounty hunting was a way for him to survive and hone his skill while he was looking for Dracule Mihawk, all to become the greatest swordsman in the world. Making a name for himself was never his ambition, certainly not for its own sake.
Luffy blinks. “Then why did you ask?”
“Just keeping the facts straight.” Zoro crosses his arms, hoping that it looks casual—that this entire thing is a random talk between crewmates instead of the cross investigation it actually is. “So.” He clears his throat. “This Shanks. He inspired you to become a pirate. And now you’re here in the Grand Line because… you want to be like him. Or chase after him maybe.”
“No,” Luffy says, and something in his tone makes Zoro glance up. Luffy is looking at him. There’s an intensity to his gaze that makes Zoro’s mouth run dry. “I’m here because it’s my dream is to find the One Piece and become King of the Pirates.”
Zoro swallows. He can’t decide whether to feel relieved at the clear-cut answer or to start panicking because his captain is suddenly leaning in too close again.
“Zoro,” Luffy says slowly, eyes intent on him. “Are you jealous?”
“What.” Zoro gapes, and then scowls. “Of course not.”
“Are you?”
“No.” Zoro turns around, heartbeat like a stampede in his chest. “I’m going in.”
Before he can make his escape, Luffy already has his arms around him. Of course the thing about Luffy’s arms is they can mould themselves into whatever shape Luffy wants them to. Right now, it happens to be a boa constrictor, which means that Zoro has them wrapped around his body several times over—and with enough force to render him immobile.
From across the ship, Nami is staring at them, eyebrows raised.
Zoro feels like he can die from mortification alone. “Let go,” he growls. Tests the restraint. Tries to force his way out. Doesn’t budge even the slightest.
“No.” If anything, the rubbery limbs around him tighten. “I need you to listen first.”
“Listen to what.”
Luffy’s chest is pressed against his back and Zoro can feel him take a deep breath. “You told me that I’m your captain and you’re my first mate. I’ve just realised that I never gave you an answer.”
Do you have to, is the first thing that crosses Zoro’s mind. Because he can’t bear to think that maybe Luffy isn’t so on board with the idea. That maybe Luffy doesn’t want him as first mate.
“So I’m giving you my answer now.” Luffy’s chin drops on his shoulder, every spoken word pressing into his flesh, his bones. “I want you, Zoro. From the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted you in my crew. But I didn’t know how much until you got hurt. And then you called me your captain and promised to stay right to the end and… I was just so happy. You’re my first mate.” A pause. A breathless laugh. “My first mate.”
Relief is a rush of air out of Zoro’s lungs—relief and something else so painful and tight. It leaves his entire body shaking, and for a moment, all he wants to do is run. Run until he can forget how this feels, to be this vulnerable, this bared, this raw, in his captain’s arms.
Except of course he has nowhere to run, trapped in the middle of the ocean as they are. And so Zoro squeezes his eyes shut and settles for words, rough and stilted and maybe not quite so honest, “Who else wants to be first mate to a captain as crazy as you?”
“That too, maybe,” Luffy concedes, a grin pressed on the base of Zoro’s neck. “But what I mean is, I only want you. No one else will do.”
This time, Zoro lets the words settle around him. It’s ridiculous how so few words can feel like such a heavy mantle and yet at the same time carry him afloat. Just like Luffy. So contradictory, anchor and guiding star both.
“That right?” Zoro breathes out. He’s stopped trying to fight his way out for some time now. In fact, he feels almost comfortable. Like he’s finally home.
And that, of course, is when Luffy decides to release him. “Yep.”
Zoro reaches out for the railing to steady himself. Not that he needs it. Luffy’s hands are still lingering at his sides, gently turning him around. (Nami, some vague part of his brain finally registers, has disappeared. He thinks he might do some chores for her. If she doesn’t bring any of this shit up, that is.)
“You know.” Luffy looks at him for a moment, and then nods. “I think you’ll love Ben.”
Zoro narrows his eyes. “Who the hell is Ben.”
-