Chapter Text
After breakfast was done and everyone was served their portion it was time for Thatch to relax, sit down, drink his coffee and read the news. It had become part of his routine reading the newspaper years ago when Marco used it to help him learn how to read. He was probably one of the few on the crew who read it completely.
He sat down on the galley on the same table as a sleep Ace, at least he had finished his food before falling asleep.
He knew the newspaper didn’t have the entire truth or was straight up lying about something but after years of reading it he had learned how to know when they were lying. If they were using a lot of praise for the marine then it meant the marine hadn’t done anything. Not like he was surprised by that.
There wasn’t a lot going on. More islands being attacked. Stolen money being found. A new chief of staff for the revolutionary army. A new island joining the world government. He read all the news one by one, halfway through reading about the new island joining the world government he had to go back to the news regarding the revolutionary army.
It was rare when anything related to that group was made public, especially when it came to their positions inside the army. It took a while for Thatch’s brain to process something. That name. Sabo. It sounded familiar. Blond. Blue hair and originally from the East Blue. He read the description again and again. Making sure his mind wasn’t making it up.
“Hey, Ace.” He called but he got no answer. In any other moment he would have let Ace sleep. But not right now. He stood from his seat and leaned over to be able to scream in Ace’s ear. He felt sorry for it but it was an emergency.
“What?!” Ace asked in a scream, he got up so quick that he fell backwards, his eyes wide open looking around, “did someone attack us?”
“Not yet. Hey, what was the name of your little brother?”
“Luffy.”
“The other one.”
“Oh, Sabo?”
So he did remember it right. “Could you describe him for me?”
“Blond. About a centimeter smaller than me when we were kids. Always dressed like a zombie noble. He was strong too, same as me.”
It was a match to the photo in the newspaper. At least him being blond and dressed like a noble. He ignored the zombie part as he guessed Sabo didn’t have another pair of clothes as a kid and probably used the same every day. The only problem was he was supposed to be dead.
“Why do you ask?” Ace asked, sitting back on the table, Thatch wasn’t sure if he should show the newspaper to Ace or not. Maybe Sabo was a common name in the East Blue.
He thought for a moment. He should take the risk. He handed the newspaper to Ace, “could this be your Sabo?”
Ace looked at the picture in silence. First he looked confused, then happy, then… angry. “That bastard!” He ran out of the galley with the newspaper, making Thatch follow him not long after.He guessed his coffee time was over. “Pops!” Ace yelled, getting the attention of the ones near Whitebeard. Everyone was so used to Ace yelling that they have learned to ignore it so everyone got back to what they were doing.
“What now?”
“Can I go fight the revolutionary army?”
“No.”
“Why not? You haven’t heard what I have to say?”
“What’s with you and wanting to fight everyone?”
“Not everyone.”
“In any case the answer is no.”
Thatch could see the conversation would end with Whitebeard getting annoyed and probably sending Ace flying across the ship, “come on, Pops,” he intervened, “why don’t you listen to what he has to say?”
Whitebeard raised an eyebrow, “last time I did he asked me to fight me and ended up doing all the chores no one wanted.”
“I knew that’s why you guys made me clean the toilets daily!” Ace screamed, that was a small victory for him. “Listen Pops, these guys are stealing identities of dead people! This guy looks like my dead brother!” He changed topic, jumping on Whitebeard’s legs and showing the newspaper on his face
“You never mentioned Luffy being dead,” Whitebeard commented, using a hand to take Ace and put him on the floor, he couldn’t see anything if Ace put the news right on his face.
“Because he’s not! He’s a healthy stupid kid!”
“Just like you then!”
“Yeah! Wait, no! Thatch shut up!”
“Why do you think they’re stealing identities?” Whitebeard asked, “maybe the guy just happens to have the same name.”
“And be blond and from the east blue and dress so ugly?”
“Ace, you really shouldn’t talk about clothes,” Thatch interrupted him, Ace and his former crew really didn’t have any right to criticize anyone when it came to clothes.
“The point is,” he ignored Thatch, “I don’t believe that to be the case, for what I remember Sabo was a really uncommon name. I have to meet this guy!”
Ace continued insisting and insisting every day for two weeks to the point where others were begging Whitebeard to just let Ace fight the guy because they were tired of him not stopping talking about the topic. They all loved Ace but even Thatch was starting to regret showing the news to Ace.
“Fine! This will be the only time I let you do something like this,” Whitebeard finally gave up making everything cheer, “Thatch! You go with him!”
“Why me?”
“You are in charge of him, again, you made this happen after all.”
He expected that, “great,” he sighed, “Ace go get ready, we’ll part in two hours.” Luckily for them, Haruta and Skull had got their hands in information regarding the base of the revolutionary army and the day seemed to be good so Thatch just needed to get the map, everyone had been so tired of Ace following Whitebeard like a baby duck repeating the same over and over again that they have prepared a small ship to be ready at any time, same with food and other supplies. It surprised Thatch how efficient the crew could be when they wanted.
“What has gotten into you so suddenly?” Thatch asked after they had left the Moby, would it take them three days to arrive to their destiny and Ace was completely quiet, not a single word had left him since they left.
“Why would they steal the identity of a noble who died eight years ago?” He finally said, “Sabo was killed by a celestial dragon but that wasn’t reported… he hated being a noble, he died being free so why are they using his name?” No matter how much he thought about it, it didn’t make sense. He, Luffy, Makino, the major, Dadan and the bandits should be the only ones who remembered his name, no one should know it, especially not someone who wasn’t from their home island.
“Isn’t there any chance he’s your Sabo?” Thatch asked after a moment of waiting for Ace to say more.
Ace shook his head, “I saw his boat burn, I got some parts back, I looked for days around the shore waiting to see him injured but alive but in the end I only got a part of his coat… our island was surrounded by sea kings, you know?
“Of course I would be happy if he’s my brother, but life isn’t a fairytale, they probably use names of nobles whether they are alive or not, they are against all that so I guess it makes sense.”
“It seems that I have more hope than you do.”
That comment made everything Ace had been hiding for the past two weeks finally explode.
“Because if he is my brother, then why didn’t he go back? Why didn’t he write? Why?” Ace said screaming, Thatch could feel the pain and anger in his voice, “why did he forget about us? We were- we are brothers! Was our bond so meaningless to him? Was I the only one caring?” More and more his true feelings were showing, the last two weeks were probably a hell for him, Thatch realized.
He couldn’t imagine the pain Ace must have felt as a kid, unable to help his brother and then looking for him for who knows how long. Accepting his death was something he probably didn’t want to do and something extremely painful… and Thatch had got that pain back to him. He passed an arm around Ace, bringing him close. He didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could say that would make Ace feel better, the only thing he could do was give him support by letting him get everything out, “am I a bad brother? Does Luffy hates me too? I don’t know what I would do if that’s the case, I’m scared, Thatch.”
Thatch stayed in silence for a moment, choosing the right words to say, opening his mouth just to close it again a few times before finally saying, “I can’t say how that brother of yours feels, but I know you aren’t a bad brother. You’re a good brother to me and the others… you were forced to be an adult when you were only a little kid and became strong so Luffy could cry and act like the child you weren’t allowed to be, a bad brother wouldn’t do that. You have told me a lot about you as a kid, things that you weren’t proud of, like throwing a tree at him,” he chuckled at the mental image of that, “but you changed, didn’t you? You saved his life on more than one occasion… I want to believe he doesn’t hate you because you were a good brother.” It was impossible for Thatch to imagine that little brother of Ace could hate him, the way Ace talked about him was full of love and it was impossible to think that wasn’t mutual. But he wasn’t Luffy, and Ace wouldn’t believe it if he said Luffy didn’t hate him so he tried his best to cheer him.
Sometimes he forgot Ace was still a kid on the inside. Ace was forced to become an adult too fast but when he joined the Whitebeard Pirates more and more of that child could be seen, right now, next to Thatch, was just a little kid afraid of his brothers hating him. And Thatch didn’t know what to say or what to do. He stayed in silence next to that little kid, an arm around him trying to make Ace feel safe and loved.
Ace didn’t say anything else and Thatch didn’t acknowledge the little sobs that left Ace every now and then because he knew Ace probably felt pathetic for crying and would get mad at Thatch if he dared to mention anything. No matter how many times over the past Thatch had mentioned crying didn’t make someone weak Ace still didn’t like to cry, for Ace, everyone was allowed to cry but him. Everyone could be weak but him. He couldn’t be weak, he couldn’t be a kid, he had to be strong and a good example. He had to be a good person Luffy could look up to because the people in their surroundings weren’t the best to have around with exceptions that could be counted with his hands. Even after becoming a pirate that was his reality. Ace had chained himself to that reality and he didn’t know how to break those chains… or he simply didn’t want to.
Luffy was his reason for living. Being a good brother, a good example, someone who always had to be better. The reason he had gotten so far in life was because of Luffy but not only him. The ghost of Sabo was also someone who had Ace not giving up on life. To think that Sabo was alive and never contacted him, not even a single letter saying he was alive had destroyed one of his reasons for living.
Luffy and Sabo were the main reason he even bothered to keep living. If he hadn’t met Sabo he would have let himself get killed by a wild animal. He used to get into fights with men simply because the physical pain made him ignore all the things going on in his head.
If it hadn’t been for Sabo… he probably wouldn’t have minded getting himself killed by those men either.
All his world had turned upside down and he couldn’t stop thinking about all the failures he did. He couldn’t stop doubting himself. Day and night. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day for the past two weeks had been a living hell. Sleep or awake, there wasn’t a difference. During the day, his mind would think of all the reasons why he was a bad brother, why he wasn’t worthy of love, why he wasn’t worthy of a life. The moment he could finally fall asleep nightmares would torture him. That adult Sabo looking at him with pure disgust asking how dared to show his face to him.
He was losing his mind.
His anger after finding out Sabo could be alive and didn’t contact him had lasted maybe five minutes before his mind started to torture him and his anxiety had started to eat him alive.
The happiness of the idea of Sabo being alive was still there. But the fear was bigger. Maybe Sabo would still want to contact Luffy. Maybe those two could be happy having each other in their life again, even if that meant cutting Ace out of the picture.
He moved his hand to touch the tattoo on his arm automatically. He was terrified, part of him wanted to tell Thatch to turn the ship around and return to the Moby Dick but he didn’t. He needed answers.
Was the Sabo on the newspaper his brother? If so, why didn’t he go back to them? Why did he never write them a letter? Did Sabo think of Ace as a brother? What was Ace to him?
Ace didn’t notice the moment he felt asleep and even though he was a light sleeper (when he didn’t fall asleep out of nowhere) he didn’t feel Thatch moving him to his bed.