Chapter Text
Domain Expansions. The pinnacle of jujutsu sorcery. To fully materialize one, a jujutsu sorcerer had to expand their innate domain into the outside world, enclose it within a barrier that was virtually impenetrable from the inside, and imbue it with a cursed technique to ensure absolute lethality. It was an ancient art form that few had ever managed to learn, much less master. Throughout the centuries, there were less than a hundred individuals recorded in history who were capable of creating a fully-formed domain. Of those domains, there were two that stood out amongst the rest.
One of them was Ryomen Sukuna's Malevolent Shrine. He was the first sorcerer who had managed to manifest an open domain that didn't require a barrier to enclose it. A feat equivalent to painting on a canvas of air. It required an intrinsic understanding of jujutsu sorcery that modern sorcerers couldn't hope to replicate, elevating the domain into the realm of the divine.
The other was Gojo Satoru's Unlimited Void. Gojo's domain was special, not because of its perfect refinement allowing him to reign supreme in virtually every domain battle, nor because of its unrivaled efficiency at utilizing cursed energy, but rather because of the innate attribute of Gojo's cursed energy itself: Infinity.
For every other sorcerer, their domain had a set internal volume or, in Sukuna's case, a specified radius. For Gojo Satoru, however, his domain was infinite. An inner world that expanded outward endlessly with no outer bounds, paradoxically contained by an external barrier. A finite circumference enveloping an infinite volume. While other domains were also larger on the inside than the outside, they still had an edge that could be reached, whereas in Gojo's domain, it was impossible to ever even reach the edge because the edge simply did not exist.
Due to this, Gojo could freely adjust the outer barrier's spatial dimensions to whatever he wished, such as making it as large as a small building or condensing it into a tiny sphere, because regardless of the barrier's external size, the internal volume would be the same anyway – limitless. An attribute that would be highly useful if he ever had to face an enemy with the ability to, say, create an open domain.
But that wasn't relevant here. For now, all that mattered was how Gojo was essentially materializing a new universe within an already existing universe – a move that was bound to have a couple unintended side effects. One side effect was how, even when contained by a powerful barrier, the actualization of the domain was still powerful enough to momentarily weaken the fabrics of reality itself, sending out ripples throughout the entire space-time continuum.
Of course, under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be a big deal. The universe was remarkably resilient to such fluctuations, and could easily correct the instability just an instant later.
But if it just so happened to occur at the same time as a certain shinobi's fight against a rabbit moon goddess across dimensions? A fight in which high-level, jaw-dropping, reality-tearing spacetime ninjutsu were being thrown around like candy?
Well. With all that mayhem and destruction, it might cause a crack to form between dimensions.
And as unlikely, improbable, and flat-out unthinkable as it might be...
There was a slight possibility for something to slip through the crack.
Or someone.
[-∞,∞]
"This is the inner world of Infinity," Gojo Satoru said, his palm laid on the top of the volcano curse's head. "Perception. Communication. The actions you take in life are forced upon you infinitely." To his side, Satoru could see Yuji looking around his domain in wonder, taking in the inky splotches of darkness strewn about a backdrop of the purest white. "It's ironic, isn't it? When granted everything, you can't do anythi–"
Satoru cut off abruptly.
Something wasn't right.
For a split second, his Six Eyes had detected something unnatural. Reality flickered momentarily, a slight tremor running through all observable matter and energy, as if the universe itself was shuddering. Every fiber of Satoru's being was drenched in an all-encompassing sense of wrongness, a sensation that would be imperceptible to every other human on the planet but was as clear as day to him due to his Six Eyes's supernatural sensing abilities.
Then the moment passed, and everything returned to normal. It had all happened so suddenly that for a brief second Satoru wondered if he had just imagined it. Perhaps it had been a mistake earlier when he decided to down the venti iced caramel macchiato with sweetened condensed milk, a quad shot of espresso, five pumps of vanilla syrup, eight pumps of caramel syrup, extra caramel drizzle, whipped cream, and a sprinkle of cinnamon and cocoa powder.
And then some dango, just because.
Well, whatever. He could deal with it later. For now, he had a curse to interrogate. He ignored the silver-haired man standing in front of him and turned his attention back to the volcano curse–
Satoru froze.
He snapped his head over so quickly he nearly got whiplash, staring in shock at the man standing in front of them. No, not a man, but a curse. The most human-looking curse Satoru had ever laid eyes on, granted, but the cursed energy that formed his body gave him away.
How was the curse there? Satoru knew for a fact that nobody else other than Yuji and the volcano curse had been around when he'd activated this domain. Had it somehow managed to bypass the barrier encasing his domain?
"Alright," Satoru said, a smile slowly spreading across his lips, looking at the curse as if it were a particularly interesting puzzle he just stumbled across on. "Now this is unexpected."
He took a second to examine the curse. His Six Eyes came to life as it dissected and devoured every detail the curse had to offer, information automatically filtering into his mind at a lightning rate.
Spiky silver hair, black-and-red eyes inscribed with a kaleidoscopic pattern, a dark navy-blue mask covering its face, a metal headband with the character 'endure' inscribed upon it, a green flack jacket, red swirls on the arm sleeves, a strange energy flowing through him, a combination of negative cursed energy and positive reverse cursed energy and something else that formed an unnatural, foreign, parasitic, alien energy that felt so immensely wrong, residuals of a strong orange energy, traces of yet another form of extremely dense energy that was more powerful than anything Satoru had ever sensed before, although even as he watched it was slowly dissipating, small wounds littering its entire body, a large X-shaped cut across its chest–
"Yo," the curse said.
–and Satoru blinked as his analysis sputtered to a halt, because the curse just spoke.
Just spoke.
Like, out loud.
Right inside of his Unlimited Void, as if it was nothing. This shouldn't be possible. Satoru's domain should be scrambling the curse's brain right now, but it didn't seem to be affected at all.
"You're speaking," Satoru blurted out before he could stop himself, staring at the curse in baffled bewilderment.
The curse tilted his head. "That I am."
Perhaps Satoru hadn't channeled enough cursed energy into the construction of his domain? He crossed his fingers and released enough cursed energy to make even the volcano curse unconsciously flinch as a reflex. More than enough to thoroughly shatter the new curse's sanity.
There was a long moment of silence as Satoru waited for the curse to dutifully keel over from the staggering amount of information overwhelming its mind. The curse appeared to be adamant in refusing to let the world make any sense, however, and remained worryingly coherent. It watched at Satoru with a somewhat bemused air, seemingly oblivious to how the very environment around it was actively attempting to liquify its brain.
After half a minute or so, it became clear that his domain was having no effect on this curse.
Despite himself, Satoru felt his face break into a large smile. "Alright, I'll bite. So, what are you?"
The curse regarded him for a moment, the pinwheels in its eyes spinning lazily.
"I'm Kakashi," he finally said.
Scarecrow?
Satoru raised an eyebrow. He knew that some curses coalesced into existence as the physical manifestations of humanity's collective fears and negative emotions, but... the fear of scarecrows? Seriously? That was a little lame. There had to be more to it.
"Kakashi, huh? I'm Gojo Satoru. I'm sure you've heard of me," Satoru smiled, awaiting the curse's reaction. His smile fell from his face as the seconds ticked by and Kakashi showed no signs of recognition. "Err, you know. The possessor of Six Eyes? The wielder of Limitless? The coolest, most badass sorcerer since, well, ever? You haven't heard of me?"
"Maa... I'm afraid not."
"Oh."
There was an awkward silence.
"I'm, ah, new," Kakashi offered.
New? As in a newly-born curse? That explained it. Satoru's smile reappeared on his face like it had never left. "Then now you know!" he said cheerfully. "Gojo Satoru, at your service. It's nice to meet you!"
Kakashi inclined his head. "Likewise."
The cursed spirit fell silent after that. He seemed to be content in observing Satoru with those kaleidoscopic eyes of his, much like how Satoru had observed him earlier with his Six Eyes...
Wait a moment.
Satoru once again eyed the curse's silver hair. Looked at the mask covering his face. Squinted at the strange pinwheeled eyes.
...
"So, like, are you supposed to be a rip-off version of me or something?" Satoru asked, his expression totally serious. "Because while I know imitation is the greatest form of flattery and all, you're nowhere near good-looking or dazzling enough to try to pull me off."
"... I'm sorry?"
"Is that why you came to me tonight? To get advice on how to pull off my look? Because sorry buddy, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think it's gonna pan out. I'll give you a free tip though: lose the headband. It's way too tacky."
"Your look? What are you – " Kakashi looked utterly lost. "What's wrong with my forehead protector?"
Satoru snickered. "Forehead protector? What are you, a feudal era samurai?"
Kakashi's eyes flickered. "Please don't confuse me with those warriors of honor," he said mildly, though Satoru could discern an undercurrent of distaste in his tone for some reason. "I'm a shinobi."
"I see," Satoru nodded. "A chuuni curse cosplaying as me while roleplaying as a ninja. Now I've seen everything."
"I... don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm sure you don't," Satoru said placatingly, his tone suggesting that he did not believe Kakashi in the slightest.
Kakashi regarded him for a long moment with a gaze that would have been unreadable if not for the Six Eyes. To Satoru's delight, however, he could detect some faint irritation in the nearly imperceptible tautness of the curse's facial muscles. Then their eyes met and Satoru shot Kakashi a smug, knowing grin. Kakashi's eyes flickered momentarily in confusion before they sparked with realization–
The curse's expression suddenly went completely blank, scarily reminiscent of a porcelain mask.
Satoru's eyebrows rose. He couldn't read Kakashi anymore. What in the world? It was almost as if Kakashi had practice defending against omniscient all-seeing eyes. Even Kakashi's cursed energy had gone impossibly still – or rather, whatever twisted, corrupted form of cursed energy Kakashi had; Satoru still wasn't sure what it was.
"How did you even get in there?" Satoru asked. "You weren't present when I first expanded my domain."
Kakashi was silent for several seconds, his face still utterly unreadable.
Then, he eye-smiled.
"I got lost on the road of life."
A beat.
Satoru blinked. "What?"
"Hmm?"
Satoru hesitated. "When you say you got lost on the road of life, are you talking about a technique or something?"
"Nope!" Kakashi replied happily. "I just mean that I got lost. Took a few wrong turns, doubled back at one point, and ended up in here. You know how it is."
Satoru stared at the curse. "Right..." he said slowly, not quite sure what to make of that. "How are you conscious right now, then? All the information streaming into your mind should be rendering you completely catatonic right now."
Kakashi tilted his head. "Information?"
"The sure-hit passive effect of my domain," Satoru explained. "It overwhelms your brain with an astronomical influx of raw information that cannot be avoided or countered. It's a miracle you're even alive right now, much less conversing with me with any degree of intelligibility."
For a split second, Kakashi's eyes sharpened with a surprising astuteness, and Satoru could practically hear the curse processing, analyzing, and evaluating the new information.
Then the moment passed and Kakashi was back to smiling blandly at Satoru.
"Maybe your domain just isn't working correctly."
Satoru looked at Kakashi. Then he looked down at the volcano curse, who was foaming at the mouth, unconscious. Then he looked back at Kakashi.
"No. No, I'm pretty sure it's working perfectly."
Kakashi shrugged. "I have no idea, then. It might be that the domain is too inadequate to incapacitate me. An issue of skill, perhaps?"
"Impossible," Satoru said without any hesitation. "Unlimited Void is the single strongest domain in existence, bar none. Its refinement is flawless, its efficiency unmatched, its potency unparalleled. My competence is not the issue here." He narrowed his eyes. "No, it must be something else. Tell me the truth. How are you able to resist its effects?"
Kakashi chuckled. "I should've known I couldn't fool you. Fine, I'll tell you. The truth is…"
He trailed off, humming thoughtfully. Satoru found himself feeling some genuine anticipation. Ever since his battle with Toji, he'd scoured the entire earth for potential methods that could be used to defeat himself, destroying both the Inverted Spear of Heaven and the Black Rope. He'd thought that that was the end of it, but the appearance of this curse changed things.
Furthermore, there was a possibility that this curse had been born as a 'counter' to him. Jujutsu sorcery existed in a perpetual balance, after all, and it had been theorized before that the emergence of all the stronger curses in the past few decades was a result of the world compensating for Satoru's birth. Something about him disrupting the natural balance, because he was just too awesome like that.
If this curse truly was his counter, and it could already nullify his domain, then it could most likely negate his Limitless as well.
And if that were the case...
The curse 'Kakashi' might very well be the greatest existential threat to him since Toji had shish-kebabed him eleven years ago. And an existential threat to him was, by extension, an existential threat to all of jujutsu society, Japan, and indeed the entire world itself.
He wasn't even exaggerating by all that much.
This was all conjecture, though. It was possible that the curse's immunity to his domain was a mere coincidence. A lucky counter that had occurred organically. Which was why the curse's answer was so important–
"I'm able to resist your domain's effects because my dead best friend's ghost gave me special magical powers," Kakashi said. "We used to be enemies, but after my cute little student punched him in the face and gave him some combat-induced therapy, he became good again. There was an egomaniac zombie, a talking plant, and a rabbit goddess involved as well. Also a bunch of naked guys – but don't worry, they were only there for weaponized eroticism." He paused. "It was remarkably effective, too."
...
Satoru stared at him for several long moments.
Huh.
Kakashi was totally fucking with him, wasn't he?
Satoru's left eye twitched. That was his schtick! The whole "giving obviously bullshit answers to mess with the other guy" was his thing!
And this curse had the sheer audacity to copy him?
...
Weaponized eroticism?
It started out as a few low chuckles at first, but before long, it soon erupted into full-blown laughter. Kakashi watched him with a raised eyebrow as Satoru tossed his head back and let out a long and hearty laugh, unrestrained and genuine.
"Oh, you're fun," Satoru said, his voice rich with amusement as he looked at Kakashi with a smile he didn't even have to fake. "I like you."
Kakashi smiled in return. "I'm flattered, but I'm afraid I don't swing that way."
"Please, you haven't met me yet. Give me two minutes, and I guarantee I'll change your mind."
Kakashi faltered for a second too long in his response. Satoru smirked. Point goes to me.
Then Satoru's expression turned serious. "No, but actually though. Why does my domain have no effect on you?"
Kakashi shrugged. "I already told you the truth. It's up to you to believe it."
Satoru sighed. "Still insisting on lying to my face? Fine. Don't tell me." He cracked his knuckles and smiled viciously, his cursed energy flaring to life. "I'll find out myself, then. Please try not to die; I'd hate to end up accidentally killing you before we've had our fill of the fun."
"Big words," Kakashi drawled, his stance still relaxed but a dangerous edge appearing in his eyes. "You sure you can back it up?"
"Of course!" Satoru shot Kakashi a cocky grin. "I'm the strongest, after all."
And he stepped forward, prepared to beat the curse to within an inch of its life—
"Err, sensei?" Yuji spoke up for the first time since entering the domain.
Satoru paused. "Yes, my favorite student?" For some odd reason, Satoru saw Kakashi perk up slightly at those words. "Is there a reason why you interrupted that totally epic moment?"
"Sorry! It's just... I think the volcano curse is about to die," Yuji said, pointing at the curse in question.
"Eh?"
Satoru looked down at the volcano curse. It was full-on convulsing at this point, and... shit, was that brain matter dribbling out of its ears?
Oops.
"One second," Satoru said. "Sorry, this thing was weaker than I'd expected."
He snapped his fingers and released his domain, the real world returning in a rush around them. Gravity took effect and they dropped through the air, landing lightly on the surface of the lake. Satoru wasn't even surprised by now to see that Kakashi possessed the fine control to walk on water. Not the half-assed inefficient technique the volcano cursed had used earlier, but rather a flawless application of cursed energy manipulation that didn't waste a single drop of energy.
In a single half-hearted move, Satoru casually tossed the volcano curse off to the side. It soared through the air and crashed into the solid ground a good fifty meters away, rolling head over heels before it finally slammed into the trunk of a tree. It slid down to the earth, unmoving.
Satoru didn't even bother giving it a second glance. He turned back to Kakashi, dusting off his hands. Strangely, the curse's attention wasn't on him. Instead, it was peering up at the night sky, a heavy frown on its face. Satoru glanced up as well, but he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.
"Something the matter?" he asked.
"Your stars..." Kakashi murmured. "They're all wrong. So I really am..." He trailed off quietly, and for a second, his eyes seemed to unfocus, the curse getting lost in his own thoughts. Then Kakashi snapped out of it and he turned back to Satoru. "Maa, I think there's been–"
His words ceased. Instantly, Satoru and Kakashi both whirled to the side to see a large tan curse grabbing the unconscious volcano curse. The new curse froze mid-action as it stared back at them, looking eerily like a kid who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Where did that thing come from?!" Yuji yelped. Which was a very good question, considering how Satoru hadn't sensed it until the very last moment. He examined the cursed spirit, noting its deformed branches for eyes and black markings over its entire body. Its left arm was wrapped up in a bundle of white cloth, and its aura...
Satoru's lips curved up. Oh? So that was how the curse did it. The aura it emanated felt more like a nature spirit than a cursed spirit, and even when it was standing right in front of him, he could barely sense it.
How curious.
Then, the cursed spirit raised its hand to point at Kakashi. "You." Its voice was distorted and heavy, and it spoke in an unknown language that Satoru understood anyway. It appeared that somehow, the curse had managed to develop a universal language. Satoru's smile widened. And here he thought Babel had just been a myth.
Kakashi pointed at himself, looking perplexed. "Me?"
"Run."
The forest came to life, writhing tendrils of branches shooting upward from the canopy like a geyser, so thick and numerous that they momentarily blotted out the night sky. The sound of a million rustling leaves filled the air. Next to Satoru, Kakashi's eyes widened in pure shock in the first unfiltered display of emotion Satoru had seen.
"What the fuck?" Kakashi gaped at the sight. "Mokuton?! White Zetsu?!"
Then the branches crashed down on them in a massive tsunami. It rushed toward them with a frightening speed, threatening to crush them under its sheer mass – assuming the sharpened branches didn't tear them to pieces first.
Satoru merely rolled his eyes and expanded his Limitless so it would cover Yuji as well. A split second later, the branches struck. They had approximately no effect, parting past them like a stream around a rock.
Except that wasn't the best metaphor, because with enough time, the water would eventually erode the rock, whereas this laughable attack would never be able to penetrate Limitless no matter how much time it had... but then again, there was a reason why Satoru wasn't a literature teacher.
After ten seconds of the onslaught, the tsunami finally came to a stop, the branches dissipating into motes of cursed energy.
Satoru immediately noticed two things.
One: the nature curse and the volcano curse were gone.
Two: Kakashi had also disappeared.
Damn.
Satoru briefly considered chasing after them, but quickly dismissed the thought. He couldn't sense their presence anymore. Instead, he rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he pondered over the events that had just transpired. Three cursed spirits had appeared, all of them sapient, something previously thought impossible.
The volcano curse – well, that one was clear. It had most likely formed from humanity's fear of volcanoes.
The other curse was a little more tricky to pin down, but Satoru guessed it was some form of nature curse, formed from the fear of natural disasters. Lots of hatred, lots of sadness, and lots of anger associated with that.
Kakashi, however...
Even if Kakashi had been born as a 'counter' to him, that still didn't answer what he was the curse of. At first, Satoru had assumed that Kakashi was the curse of scarecrows because of his name, but in retrospect, it was probably just misdirection. No, scratch that, it was definitely just misdirection; if there was one thing Satoru had learned tonight, it was that Kakashi loved his deception.
Which meant that Satoru was back to square one.
Unless...
It dawned on him. The answer had been staring him in the face the entire time. It was so inconceivable, Satoru hadn't even considered it at first, but in retrospect, it was obvious. It would certainly explain why Kakashi had gone to such lengths to lie to Satoru.
"Heh. Scarecrow curse. No way you actually expected me to believe that, did you?"
But then again, the truth should have been equally as impossible. But when he considered the facts at hand...
Kakashi looked like him. Kakashi acted like him. Kakashi possessed an inherent immunity to his Unlimited Void.
Slowly, Satoru's lips curled into an exhilarated grin.
There was no doubt about it.
Kakashi was a curse formed from the fear of Gojo Satoru.
...
"Gojo-sensei? Why did you just break out in evil cackles? Sensei, you're scaring me. Sensei? GOJO-SENSEI!"
[-∞,∞]
"Over the past thirty days, a total of twenty-eight jujutsu sorcerers all across Japan have come under attack by a single cursed spirit. The assaults occurred randomly with no discernible pattern, and the victims share no common traits other than being jujutsu sorcerers." Ijichi Kiyotaka, the head manager of Jujutsu High, frowned as he flipped through the pages of his report. "Strangely, there are no fatalities as of yet. Though every sorcerer was defeated thoroughly, they were merely left unconscious with no lasting physical injuries – though I cannot speak to the structural integrity of their pride." He paused, coughing into his fist. "This issue is exacerbated by how, upon regaining consciousness, all twenty-eight sorcerers had discovered their wallets were missing."
Gojo arched his eyebrows. "The cursed spirit robbed them?"
"Quite thoroughly," Ijichi replied, consulting his notes. "One shaman noted that even the emergency stash of cash hidden in the sole of their shoe was liberated."
Gojo laughed. "Oh, that's beautiful."
The two of them were in the briefing room at Tokyo Jujutsu High. Gojo was lounging on the lush leather couch, hands interlaced behind his head and legs crossed over one another, while Ijichi stood before him, holding a stack of papers in his hand.
"This is no laughing matter," Ijichi rebuked, his frown deepening. "An extremely powerful cursed spirit is attacking jujutsu sorcerers across the nation – and worse yet, we cannot determine its motive. Although..." He consulted his notes again. "In every case, before knocking the sorcerers unconscious, the cursed spirit did ask them a series of questions."
"About?"
"Well... everything. Jujutsu sorcery, jujutsu society, and the world in general." Ijichi pushed up his glasses. "What's highly unusual about this is that all of the questions were extremely basic. Common knowledge, really. No matter how many times I analyze the transcripts, I can't seem to figure out the curse's purpose. It's rather vexing, to be honest. Are the questions for a cursed technique? Or maybe the curse is taunting us?"
Gojo chuckled. "You're overthinking it."
"What do you mean?"
"It's elementary, my dear Ijichi," Gojo said. "The reason why the curse is asking so many questions... is because it doesn't know the answers to them."
Ijichi blinked. "What?"
"It's a newborn curse."
It took a moment for that to fully sink in, but when it did, Ijichi's eyes widened. "I'm a fool," he bemoaned. "All those statistical models and tests, for nothing..."
"There, there," Gojo said.
"Anyhow..." Ijichi shook his head and continued. "The cursed spirit has demonstrated an unsettling ability in tracking down and neutralizing jujutsu sorcerers. Two days ago, we sent out several Grade 1 sorcerers to try to apprehend it, but all of them were met with the same fate. The higher-ups are starting to get freaked out about it, so they elected to call you in before things become any worse."
Gojo tilted his head. "So let me get this straight. The higher-ups waited an entire month before getting off their asses and deciding to do something about it – and instead of taking care of it themselves, they decided to get me to do their dirty work?"
Ijichi hesitated before giving a slow nod. "More or less..."
"Sounds about right. Man, they're really useless without me, huh?" Gojo's expression darkened momentarily. "Makes me wonder why I keep them around sometimes."
Ijichi forced a laugh. "That's a funny joke, Gojo."
"It's not–"
"I said, that's a funny joke, Gojo."
"But I'm not–"
"Please at least grant me the mercy of plausible deniability, Gojo."
Gojo raised his hands in surrender, relenting.
"Anyway," Ijichi continued, "I had a forensic artist contact of mine create a composite sketch of the curse in question." He withdrew the document from the file and made to hand it over.
Gojo shook his head. "No need. Let me guess – the cursed spirit has silver hair, kaleidoscopic red-and-black eyes, and is wearing a dark navy-blue mask?"
Ijichi blinked. "You know this curse?"
"We've met before. In a manner of speaking."
"And you didn't exorcise it?" Ijichi paused before narrowing his eyes, a suspicious look crossing over his face. "Gojo... Is the curse yours?"
"What? No! Do you think I'd command a curse to go around attacking random jujutsu sorcerers?"
"Yes," Ijichi said bluntly.
"Why would I ever do that?"
"Because you'd think it's funny."
"Okay, that is true," Gojo conceded. "But still – how would a cursed spirit ever cooperate with me?"
"Your student, Okkotsu Yuta, has the ability to copy cursed techniques, and was in battle with Geto Suguru last year, who possessed cursed spirit manipulation."
Gojo opened his mouth before closing it a moment later as he realized it was a surprisingly plausible explanation. He mulled on it for a few seconds before opting to ignore it altogether, instead switching routes.
"I'm hurt you'd accuse me of such a heinous act," Gojo said, placing a hand on his heart. "Don't you trust me?"
Ijichi let out an undignified snort before his eyes widened behind his glasses.
"I'm so sorry, Gojo! That was highly unprofessional; I don't know what came over me. I should already be used to your ludicrous, absurd, and obscenely foolish antics by now." He bowed deeply. "You have my deepest apologies."
Gojo stared at Ijichi, astonished. "... huh?"
Ijichi coughed sharply. "At any rate, if you've indeed made contact with the curse before, then it definitely makes things a lot easier. When did you see it?"
"A month ago... hold on, Ijichi what was that?"
Ijichi ignored him with the resolve of a man so sleep-deprived he had more coffee than blood in his bloodstream. "A month ago? And you haven't tracked it down yet?"
Gojo shrugged. "It concealed its presence extremely well. Besides, I had other stuff to worry about. Training Yuji, planning out the Kyoto Goodwill Event that's happening in a week, taste-testing these new Vienna chocolates that are simply divine... You get the gist." He tilted his head. "And, to tell you the truth, I was kinda waiting for the curse to come to me."
"... why would it ever seek you out?"
Gojo shrugged. "Reasons."
While he'd shared the information of the volcano and nature curse, he'd kept his knowledge of Kakashi secret, swearing Yuji to confidentiality as well. Partly because information was power in the jujutsu world and he didn't want anyone getting wind of his countercurse (as he dubbed it) before he himself knew more, and partly because he was well aware of how insane his theory sounded. As a result, Ijichi didn't know anything about Kakashi yet.
"It's probably trying to send me a message with all these attacks," Gojo mused. "You know, you really should have told me about this earlier."
Ijichi twitched. "I did! You should have already known! It's not my fault you don't check your emails."
"You've been sending me emails?"
"Yes!"
"Weird. Why not just text me?"
"Because you already blocked my number last month!"
"I did?" Gojo scratched his cheek. "Oh right, I did. I guess I also blocked your email too during that time."
Ijichi twitched again. "Brilliant. For the past month, I had thought you were investigating the incidents and just couldn't be bothered to respond to me. It wasn't until I got a chance to speak to you in-person today that I realized you weren't being deliberately inconsiderate – you were just plain unaware!"
"Hey, I prefer the term 'blissfully ignorant'..."
Gojo suppressed the urge to grin as he watched Ijichi visibly take several calming breaths. He was just screwing with his friend, of course – he had received the emails and had gone out to investigate multiple times under a disguise, though he hadn't found anything useful. Whatever Kakashi was, he was damn good at covering his tracks; while he had left some residuals back in the forest, in his most recent attack, Gojo hadn't detected any traces of his cursed energy at all.
Kakashi was learning, and at this point, he might be better than even Hanami in terms of stealth and concealment.
It made sense, really. The curse born to counter the bearer of the Six Eyes would naturally evolve to be able to counter the Six Eyes' sensory capabilities. This was basically a supernatural arms race where both sides developed their abilities to stay one step ahead of the other. Not that Kakashi had any hope of actually winning the arms race – but it was cute to watch him try.
"All that aside," Ijichi finally said like nothing had happened. Gojo smiled internally; he had always admired Ijichi's unrelenting professionalism in the face of extreme adversity. "Let's start drafting out a plan to track down and eliminate the cursed spirit–"
Ijichi's phone rang. He pulled it out to check the caller ID. "Sorry, I have to take this." He held his phone up to his ear, listened for a few seconds, then hung up.
"Correction," he said miserably. "Twenty-nine jujutsu sorcerers."
Gojo connected the dots instantly. "There was another attack?"
"About twenty minutes ago."
"Who?"
Ijichi opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the door to the room slamming open.
Grade 1 Sorcerer Nanami Kento stormed in, a dark expression on his face that promised death. His left cheek was bruised, there were several rips in his suit, and bandages were haphazardly wrapped around his left arm. He zeroed in on Gojo immediately.
"My wallet was just stolen by someone who looks a lot like you, Gojo," he said. "Give it back."
"It's not me!" Gojo yelped, raising his hands in the universal gesture of innocence.
"Likely story. A cursed spirit that acts like you, looks like you, and even has a form of Limitless?" His eyes narrowed. "Is this your idea of a prank?"
Gojo tensed up. "A form of Limitless?"
Nanami nodded. "The curse turned intangible when I tried striking it."
Intangibility? That was an ability Gojo hadn't developed yet. No, that he hadn't even considered yet. His mind whirred to action, trying to figure out how the curse had managed it. An application of imaginary mass? Spatial manipulation, similar to Gojo's teleportation except several levels more advanced?
Okay. So maybe Kakashi wasn't doing half-bad in the arms race.
Gojo looked between Nanami and Ijichi. Out of everyone he knew, these two were the ones he trusted the most. Aside from his students, of course, but they were too young for this. And Shoko, but Gojo was pretty sure she really would find a way to kill him if he added any more to her workload.
The point was, if he couldn't trust these two, then he couldn't trust anyone.
Gojo's expression turned serious. "Ijichi, do you mind setting up a quick privacy barrier around this room? And Nanami, could you sweep this room for bugs please? I already checked, but can't be too careful."
Ijichi and Nanami exchanged wary glances but complied. Ijichi created a barrier that blocked all sound, sight, scent, vibrations, and cursed energy, while Nanami conducted a physical check for any mundane bugs. Once they were finished, they stood across from Gojo, waiting expectantly.
"Excellent," Gojo smiled. "Grab your snacks and gather around. It's story time."
Nanami and Ijichi's faces grew increasingly incredulous as Gojo retold how Kakashi had appeared that night, of Kakashi's immunity to his domain and how Kakashi's appearance and mannerisms were disturbingly similar to his own. Then he proceeded to explain his theory of how he believed Kakashi was a curse born to counter him, and that Kakashi had formed from the fear of 'Gojo Satoru.'
"That's impossible, though," Nanami pointed out. "Cursed spirits only form from the cursed energy that leaks from non-sorcerers. There are undoubtedly a lot of jujutsu sorcerers who fear and despise you, but they wouldn't leak enough cursed energy to cause a curse to form."
Gojo smiled. "Correct, but you're not accounting for all the variables, my dear Nanamin."
"Don't call me that," Nanami said before frowning. "What variables?"
"Remember how, just recently, we discovered the existence of special grade curses who were capable of sapience?"
"The nature curse, the volcano curse, and curse known as 'Mahito,'" Ijichi said, frowning. "But what do they have to do with anything?"
Next to him, Nanami had gone deathly still. "You don't think..."
"Exactly," Gojo grinned. "Sapience implies intelligence, and intelligence implies the ability to feel. We know that cursed spirits can't form from jujutsu sorcerers... but what about cursed spirits forming from other curses?"
Ijichi's eyes widened. "But that's impossible!"
"Is it?" Gojo raised an eyebrow. "Sorcerers tightly regulate their cursed energy to ensure it doesn't leak out and create more curses, but cursed spirits wouldn't have a reason to maintain such careful control. It's a recursive effect that would only benefit them."
"But there can't be that many sapient special grade curses," Nanami said. "We've only discovered three so far. How could they have leaked enough cursed energy to form another curse?"
"Quality over quantity," Gojo said. "Even if there are only a handful out there, their cursed energy would be exponentially more potent than a normal human's. It's like how Yuta was able to create Rika, a special-grade cursed spirit, as only a young child."
"I see. But if Kakashi truly is a counter to you, then..." Ijichi shifted from heel-to-heel worriedly. "Isn't that bad?"
"Of course not!" Gojo laughed, waving off Ijichi's concerns. "Have you forgotten?" A supremely self-assured smile spread across his features. "I'm the strongest."
Nanami nodded. "Counter or not, recursive cursed spirit or not, it doesn't matter. There is only one thing that's important here." His eyes smoldered. "Kakashi stole my money. I want it back."
Gojo and Ijichi both stared at him.
"Riiight," Gojo said. "That too. In any case, if we want to get your money back, then..." Out of nowhere, he whipped out a tweed deerstalker hat and an old-fashioned magnifying glass. "This means we're gonna be–"
"Torture specialists."
"–DETECTIVES! I'M SO PUMPED – wait, what did you just say?"
[-∞,∞]
The two of them first tried laying ambushes for Kakashi. However, it quickly became apparent that that wouldn't work, because... well.
"I'm bored!"
"Shut up."
"But I'm boooored."
"Shut up."
"Nanamiiii! Why are you so mean? Hey, what are you doing with that butcher knife? Nanami, stop. You know you can't get past my Limitless, right? Nanami!"
For all his talent and prodigious skill, Gojo Satoru did not, in fact, possess the necessary patience or attention span to lie in wait for an extended period of time. Nor did Nanami Kento possess the necessary patience or willpower to deal with Gojo Satoru for an extended period of time. It didn't help that they didn't know when or where Kakashi would strike next either, lowering the odds of them succeeding even more.
So they went to Plan B: locating Kakashi through mystical means.
[-∞,∞]
"CONTAIN THE BREACH!" Gojo yelled, his black trench coat flapping wildly. One hand was held to his deerstalker cap to keep it from flying away while the other hand was flashing through hand signs. There was a palpable aura of cursed energy around him, the walls of the room cracking under the tremendous pressure. The magic circle on the floor inscribed with seals and runic script glowed an angry crimson red as arcs of scarlet electricity crackled in the air. "DON'T LET THE ANOMALY ESCAPE NO MATTER WHAT!"
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!" Nanami roared back as he poured his cursed energy into the magic circle.
"I DON'T KNOW! I JUST TOOK SOME FORBIDDEN ARCANE RITUALS I FOUND IN THE JUJUTSU HIGH SECRET VAULT AND TRIED TO COMBINE THEM WITH MY INFINITY!"
"WHY?"
"IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!"
[-∞,∞]
"If you think about it, it wasn't actually that bad," Gojo laughed as he slung an arm around Nanami's shoulders, the two of them walking through the idyllic scenery of the Jujutsu High campus. "It was a great learning experience."
"Please don't talk to me."
"Nanami!"
"You endangered everyone on this campus with your stunt just now. Not just me, but every sorcerer, manager, and other assorted employee. What if the gardener over there died because of you?" Nanami pointed at a gardener who was currently trimming the bushes outside a temple. "What would you have done then?"
"Bah, there wasn't any real danger," Gojo said. "I had the situation under control."
"Irresponsible, flippant, egotistical, shortsighted, inconsiderate..." Nanami groused under his breath.
"Though she's super cute, actually," Gojo said, glancing back at the gardener as they walked past. "How have I never seen her before?"
Nanami leveled Gojo with an unimpressed stare. "Gojo, you don't pay any attention to 'normal people.' You don't know half the people on campus." He paused. "Though in fairness, I'm pretty sure she's new."
"Ohh." Gojo grinned. "You think she's single–? Eep!"
Nanami's demonic visage materialized just a few centimeters away from Gojo's face, his soulless eyes peering into Gojo's own.
"Concentrate," he said. "What's our next plan?"
Gojo backed away a few paces before smiling and answering, "I know a place."
[-∞,∞]
"Gojo... Are you certain this place is legitimate?"
"Shush, you're being rude," Gojo said before he stepped forward and slapped a wad of cash onto the counter. He shot a dazzling grin at the old lady sitting behind the counter. Tarot cards were scattered everywhere, an astrology chart was hanging on the wall behind her, and the air was heavy with the scent of incense. "I'd like to hire you, please."
[-∞,∞]
"I could be wrong," Gojo said as they exited the store. He rubbed his chin in deep contemplation. "But I think we just got scammed."
"You think?" Nanami repeated disbelievingly. "She started out by reading our palms!"
"It's a well-regarded ancient form of divination."
"She tried to spray me with holy water when she found out I was a Cancer!"
"It was done with good intentions. Besides, you looked like you could use it."
"She sacrificed a live chicken and claimed to be able to foresee the future in its entrails!"
"Okay, that was a little creepy," Gojo admitted.
"Was it not blatantly obvious that the whole place was an egregious scam? How did you even hear about this?"
Gojo laughed as he looked away, refusing to meet Nanami's eyes. "Well, you know. Itadori may or may not have mentioned that his friends used to visit here often, and I've been meaning to check it out..."
Nanami's palm met his forehead. "Please don't tell me that your sources were two non-sorcerer teenagers part of an amateur occult club."
Gojo stayed silent.
"Gojo..."
"You told me not to tell you."
Nanami let out a heavy sigh. "At this point, I'm considering just cutting my losses. It doesn't seem like we'll be able to track down Kakashi. As much as it pains me, I'll just... just... work some overtime to recuperate my losses."
Gojo was silent for a moment. "We've been asking the wrong questions," he said suddenly, a cigar materializing in his hand. He didn't actually light it because he hated the scent of smoke, but it was for the sake of theatrics. "This entire time we've been asking about how to find Kakashi, when instead we should've been focusing on the whydunit."
Nanami frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Why did Kakashi steal the wallets?"
"To add insult to injury, I presume," Nanami said. "He wanted to taunt us."
Gojo hummed. "Perhaps. Or maybe, just maybe, he stole the money so he could use it."
Nanami blinked. "What?"
"You came straight to Jujutsu High after you were attacked by Kakashi, and have been hunting for him with me nonstop for the past fifty-six hours ever since, right?" Gojo said. Nanami nodded. "Have you canceled your credit cards yet?"
"Not yet," Nanami said slowly. "I've been too preoccupied with hunting down Kakashi. Wait, are you suggesting..."
Gojo grinned. "If the supernatural methods won't work, let's try doing things the mundane way."
[-∞,∞]
"You were right," Nanami said blankly.
They had used their substantial governmental authority as jujutsu sorcerers to bulldoze their way into the credit card company, and were currently staring at a computer screen displaying Nanami's credit card details. There had been multiple purchases made in the past two days, primarily at convenience stores and clothing centers.
"Damn," Gojo patted Nanami's back comfortingly, fully aware that he wasn't providing a single iota of comfort and taking great satisfaction in it. "Should've canceled your credit cards earlier."
Nanami didn't appear to hear him. Instead, his face flickered through incremental degrees of burning anger and homicidal rage before finally settling on a peaceful, serene expression.
"I'm going to kill Kakashi," he said calmly.
Right as he said that, a small ding sounded from the computer as a new entry jumped to the top of the page. Gojo looked at it and smiled. The entry stated that a purchase of coffee had just been made at a cafe not too far from here. Black coffee, Gojo noted with heavy distaste.
"Well, look on the bright side," he said. "At least we found Kakashi."
[-∞,∞]
They arrived at the cafe in record time. It was a small quiet place called Anteiku, with quaint decor and a pleasant atmosphere. Gojo spared a brief glance at their dessert menu as they barged in, mentally making a note to buy some later. They scanned the room, ignoring how the patrons stared at them – Gojo was still in his detective outfit while Nanami was positively radiating death.
"I don't see him anywhere," Gojo said. "He got away again?"
Nanami didn't respond. Instead, he slowly raised his hand to point out the window. Gojo turned around to take in the sight.
On the other side of the street, a bookstore was located across from the cafe. Inside, Gojo caught a glimpse of spiky silver hair.
Nanami smiled a terrifying smile.
"Found him."
[-∞,∞]
The doors to the bookstore slammed open as Nanami and Gojo strode in. The latter was whistling a jaunty tune, his hands in his pockets, while the former had his sword drawn and ready, his stern eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses. Their movements were elegant and poised, their sheer presence undeniable.
Then they both stopped in their tracks.
Kakashi glanced over from where he was standing in front of the register, a book in one hand and Nanami's very distinctly patterned wallet in the other. When he saw them, he froze as well.
A quiet stillness descended over the bookstore.
Gojo ignored how it should've been impossible for the bookstore clerk to even see Kakashi due to him being a cursed spirit. He ignored how Kakashi had swapped out his outfit and was now wearing a grey button-down shirt, black pants, a light olive green jacket, and a maroon scarf. He ignored how Kakashi's eyes were now grey instead of black-and-red.
The only thing that Gojo Satoru's legendary Six Eyes could see was the book in Kakashi's hand.
The very well-known, infamous, banned-in-several-countries smut novel the curse was trying to buy.
Beside him, Nanami had straight-up stopped breathing.
Kakashi recovered first.
"Yo!" He greeted them, his tone cheerful and casual. "Fancy seeing you two here. Hey, by the way, the clerk won't sell this novel to me without seeing any ID for some reason. Do you mind purchasing it for me?" He paused before taking out some cash from Nanami's wallet and offering it to them. "I'll even toss in a little extra for you."
Gojo could hear Nanami's teeth grinding together.
"You," Nanami growled, the sound low and menacing. He stepped forward, slowly and methodically, until he was standing right in front of Kakashi, glaring down at him.
"... yeah, this situation is definitely a little awkward," Kakashi said after a few seconds. His eyes curved into an eye-smile. "Would it help if I apologize?"
Nanami went ballistic. Gojo broke into hysterics.
A concussive shockwave blasted through the air as Nanami slammed his sword down in a devastating strike. Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves, reappearing a good five meters back.
"I think I'll take that as a no."