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“I have done nothing but serve for hundreds of years, whether it’s my dear departed lady, or my less-dear emperor. I know all of the political goings-on, and watched this city fall and rise so many times it may as well be a phoenix. And as MAYOR, I will fight for the future of Megapolis!”
MK watched with eyes the size of dinner plates as the actually-the-mayor-now gave his speech, the pupiless man somehow not blinking in the camera flash. MK was able to get in because he’s the Monkie Kid, and Mei’s a part of the dragon family that’s lived there longer than the city’s been a city. The girl kept typing on her phone, apparently monitoring what people said about the mayor in real time with his press release.
“People think his ‘dear departed lady’ is a widower, so he’s got a ton of people who sympathize with him. Being a human gets him a good vote in that demographic, but so many demons think he’s a demon in disguise that he holds sway with them, too. Saying that he lived for centuries with no explanation is only making that more likely. We’ve never had a demon mayor, so a lot of them are trying to get him in just so they have a shot of having an elected official that listens to them at all. Like, so many people think he’s going to take a glamour off and have horns at this press release. It’s ridiculous.”
“Okay, but having some people from both general groups who like him doesn’t just get him elected.”
“Demographics aren't everything. He actually sounds like he wants something good for the future of the city.” Mei pulled up the bullet-point list of his campaign promises, which the Mayor was now discussing how he’d implement with the journalists. “Since the Monkie Kid takes care of so many threats and keeps the crime rate down, he’s diverting a shit-yourself amount of money from the police force and to construction. We need that for collateral damage in fights, obviously, but he’s also making a whole borough of temporary housing for when someone inevitably loses their home in battles. He’s revamping our safety inspections too, and if you want the city to pay for your repairs, you have to submit all your properties to an inspection to make sure it’s not damage you did and are trying to make him pay for. Landlords are dropping like flies, and their tenants get to keep the property with squatter’s rights. I think he’s trying to work out a way for them to buy the place completely in installments.”
“But he keeps the property if the tenant can’t, right?” That sounds like an evil plan being cooked up, like he’s carving out chunks of territory to make into a sinister underground operation. After all, Megapolis is pretty much a city-state with how much crap goes down there without anyone higher-up lifting a finger. As long as the Mayor doesn’t make his own military force or reinstate a monarchy, he’s free to do whatever he wants, and that’s a tad too much power to just let slide.
“He says he’ll put it up for sale, but we’ll see on that. Not like he can make a perfect system in a day.” Mei shrugged, moving on to the next selling point as the Mayor chuckled gleefully. “He’s gone nuts about income and education since job security is basically zero once the city-wide attacks spiked. He’s forced the council to pay for scholarships on every level and is working on how to get relief if your business gets demolished.”
MK may not be the smartest, but that’s way too much money. “The city’s going to be broke by the end of the year if he does that. And then we’ll get attacked more because we can’t pay for repairs and monsters strike when the busted up city makes it look like I’m not protecting it.”
“Yeah, but he has like, a million favors to cash in from the centuries. Even my parents owe him something.” Mei held up her hands in surrender as MK glared. “Not anything bad! But yeah, he stopped by for dinner last week and pretty much explained he had an I.O.U. with my grandpa before he passed. Now we’re one of like thirty families who he can call for a blank check. I think my parents said they’d only pay for education stuff so he can’t evilize it, so he has them down to make almost-free tuition possible at the trade school until his term ends.”
“I—you have that much money?”
“Dragons, man. We hoard.” She clapped politely as the Mayor stopped speaking, elbowing for MK to do the same. “Come on, I’m here so he knows not to destroy us.”
“He threatened to attack you?”
“Taxes.” Mei held up some fingers in a wolf whistle, shouting her support like it’s a sports game. A few journalists gave them dirty looks, but the Mayor waved his arm at a perfect ninety-degree angle when he saw them. “Cool, we can go now.”
“I think it’d be better if I talked to him.”
“MK, do not threaten the Mayor, please.”
“He was a puppet for the Lady Bone Demon!”
“Yeah, and haven’t you read any superhero comic?” Mei’s hair flipped as she basically tilted her head upside down. “If you piss off a political figure ever, they’ll make it illegal for you to operate. I mean, it usually gets repealed because the next writer doesn’t want to deal with it, but then it’s an off and on thing that they flip to every few years since they have no sense of consistency and do you want the first flip right now?”
“Nobody is writing our lives. We are not characters in stories.”
“Okay, Monkie Kid who has a catchphrase that’s just saying his name again.” Mei slugged his shoulder before stepping back to give him the floor. “Go get your vigilante ban that’s conveniently lifted right after you save the Mayor from danger or he realizes the city is lost without you as their mascot in troubled times.”
“I’m not saving the Mayor from danger!” He snapped, taking a few steps before turning back around. “And I’m not a mascot!”
“Go get banned! Go get banned! Go get banned! Go—”
MK ignored her as he wove through the journalists finally realizing they need to dissipate, the Mayor still shaking hands with someone who he doesn’t care about and smiling creepily. MK pushed the person to the side (not harsh enough to hurt them, mind you) before facing the Mayor.
“Why if it isn’t the Monkie Kid!” He exclaimed, arm still perfectly straight to offer his hand. MK stared at it without taking it, putting his hands in his pockets instead.
“So how are you going to do all of the impossible stuff you said?” MK asked, pretending to be interested.
“Well, I’m the Mayor.”
“And?”
“I’m the Mayor.”
“Okay, but how—”
“I am. The Mayor.” He leaned into MK’s personal space, and even without the powers, MK felt threatened enough to back up a step. “I can do anything. I will do anything. I will make this city perfect.”
“So you’re doing what the lady did and you’re going to destroy it, right?”
“Mmmmmmmm, but she already destroyed it. You’ve just rebuilt it all wrong and I will fix it. Because I’m the Mayor.”
MK frowned. There’s no way he’ll be able to do half of that stuff without getting mad at people and quitting. But if he’s a mortal guy now, it’s not like this will give him his magic powers back. He just really, really wishes this guy wasn’t actually the real Mayor.