Work Text:
Macaque glared at the wine in his cup, swirling it carefully. Wukong said something about how the gods have get togethers and he almost never shows up, except for tonight when, in his words, “he has a score to settle”. The gatherings were little more than fancy parties, a way for a god to show just how divine they are by providing their main court as a place to chat and network, then a grand banquet where…something happens. He’s not sure what. Wukong needed to bring whoever is his best advisor, but he absolutely refused MK and insisted Macaque show up instead. He called him his warrior. That did not cause any rushes of warmth under his fur since it means nothing and don’t worry about it.
And Wukong is late. He said it would take him a while to actually get into whatever he’s wearing. Macaque didn’t see how it would take that long, if he’s just wearing a tang suit. Macaque’s own jacket was purple with crimson embroidery, his frog buttons clasped up to his throat and matching stiff leather shoes. He lashed his tail from where it poked out of his trousers, electing to hide any previous injuries with perfectly combed black fur. He needed to prove his status as above an ordinary demon, so six ears flared on his head, covered in random baubles that Wukong gifted him like a crow with new coins. Moons, monkeys, flowers, fruit, symbols of luck and love and strength and prosperity, jade and silver and bronze and gold and pearl—although he gave a firm “no” to ivory. No way he’s wearing that. He would be more annoyed at the persistent jingling if he didn’t have a plug in every ear but one to block all sound. Supernatural hearing is hell at large gatherings, so he paid an arm and a leg for truly noise-canceling plugs in preparation for this day.
Macaque turned his functional ear toward anyone who tried to speak to him, every god looking human and glaring at him for his appearance in turn. They’ve picked and chosen what dynasty they want to dress for, most likely for whenever they felt they had the most influence, but all with the same amount of garish richness that a mortal would die to touch (and probably die from touching, too). Some even mixed their eras, such as the goddess before him with a blood red hat dripping in constantly moving river water like a crimson veil covering her face, compared to the modern designer coat and mud-colored dress that were never wet from her downpour. He felt tempted to swipe his paw through the veil to see if any liquid he could snatch would disappear, since it never actually reached the ground. He won’t be doing that when he has no clue who this lady is and, for all he knows, she has all the power to stick him under a mountain. Nope. Just going to be nice.
And now he’s twice as confused because a second lady showed up, with just a hair ornament but somehow looking like she’s crying blood, and her dress is mossy green with the same weird supernatural water falling from her shoulders like a cape and where is Wukong can he please save him?
“Ehuang! Nu Ying! Where have you two been?”
Macaque sagged in relief, turning toward the familiar voice. Thank the gods that Wukong’s here—what is he wearing? It’s decidedly modern, with obvious influence from outside of China, but still dripping in rich silk. The wide gown at first appeared a rosy pink, but underneath the skirts flashed edges of sweet red like the inside of a peach when sliced. Golden embroidery changed its subject as it went up his fabric: trees full of monkeys and peaches, with mountains and waterfalls climbing upward into the sky. He had a soft, featherlight shrug over his shoulders, teal with white tracings of dazzling suns and wispy clouds. Wukong replaced his phoenix feather cap with kingfisher decorations, somehow making himself look even more like royalty. A closed parasol stayed clasped in painted claws, much like a rich man brandishes his cane.
“If it isn’t China’s sweetest river goddesses,” he gushed, smiling to show off long fangs. “It’s been so long since I last saw you.”
The goddess with the hat—Ehuang?—tilted her head with a (possibly) puzzled look. “We saw you at the last gathering,” she said in a voice like the tickling of bells.
“Ah, and I had so much fun communing with you that I simply had to come to the next one.”
Macaque furrowed his brow, trying to remember anything about these two sisters? Wives? Sister wives? They’re river goddesses, so he doesn’t really have to fear them like he thought. Wait, aren’t they in charge of the same river? Are they just one god? Is the river that good that it needs two people to bless it?
Nu Ying puckered her lips like she bit into a sour lemon, openly glaring at Wukong. “I see you took my advice to heart,” she clipped.
“What advice?” Macaque asked, not caring if he’s completely out of turn. He moved around Wukong so his good ear is on his side, and definitely not to get a good look at just how far back the shawl goes. It’s long enough to qualify as a train, as if he didn’t know just how far is too far.
Wukong just laughed politely, turning one paw to introduce him. “So sorry. Of course, you know me, Sun Wukong, Monkey King, Great Sage Equal to Heaven. This is Liu’er Mihou, the Six-Eared Macaque, one of the four celestial apes—”
“You can just call me Macaque,” he quickly interrupted, bowing curtly. “I am W—the Great Sage’s plus one.” He noted how Nu Ying raised her eyebrows in suspicion and decided a little half-truth wouldn’t hurt. “Unlike most gods, the Great Sage insists that there is no position in a holy court that is too small.” Other than being the stableboy. Macaque straightened again, measuring how much elegance and how much schmooze he needs to get through this. “My king asked me to go ahead of him to discern who here would be the most valuable to make an alliance with.”
“After all, one of Macaque’s titles is discerner,” Wukong readily agreed, going with the lie so they look more capable than they really are. Being monkeys is granting them zero favors in being welcome, so they need to rub it in to get through this without a hitch. “He was my wisest companion for years, even when I refused to listen to him. I decided that I would bring him today as my official welcoming of him back into my court.”
Welcoming who back to where? Macaque twitched his ear, not sure if he heard that correctly. The Monkey King hasn’t ruled much of anything for the past forever, much too busy being a hero and then sulking over it being over. Macaque watched the two river goddesses tense.
“Then I guess we’ll stop taking up your time,” Ehuang said carefully. “You must have plenty of better lords than us to attend to.”
“Not at all!” Wukong replied quickly. “We would never see ourselves as better than you. But if you simply must go, then I bid you the fondest farewell.”
Macaque snorted over the flowery language, getting an elbow to the ribs and quickly doubling over in a bow to hide his laugh. He is not blowing this because the idiot decided to go whole ham on the god thing. When he looked up again, the river maidens were gone. Wukong waved for him to follow, the two making their way outside to the garden. When the Monkey King opened his parasol for them to walk under, Macaque saw the very obvious script of GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN on the paper. Of course.
“Wukong, why did you really ask to come here? Because it’s not to talk to them or to pretend I’m your advisor.”
“Nah, I wanted to annoy Nu Ying. She made the snarkiest comment the last time I went to one of these fancy god things.” Wukong pouted as he spun the parasol in his paws. “I haven't shown up to one of these shindigs for five hundred years, and I don’t want to act like I’m in the wrong century, so I go with a normal tuxedo getup, pink as peaches since that’s kinda my thing. And what do you think she said about it?”
“Please wear a dress, oh wise one?”
“She said that if I truly cared about looking proper, I’d bother to wear the black tie to the black tie level gathering. Sorry that all monochrome doesn’t look good with golden fur, lady.” Wukong sniffed as he leaned into Macaque, the monkey seeing no problem with them linking arms as they went down the marble path surrounded by peonies. “If I didn’t come to the next one, she’d have the last word, but this one was kind of…couples only.”
“You said everyone was bringing advisors.”
“Isn’t your boyfriend your best advisor?”
Macaque’s fur fluffed, quickly looking away. The garden’s much quieter than inside, although they’d have to go back eventually. Maybe they can escape without anyone noticing…
“They want everyone to stay until the end of these things,” Wukong informed him, reading his mind. Macaque grumbled, scraping his shoe over the tile like there was a pebble there to kick. They can’t even let him express his awkwardness in their perfect little world.
Macaque will just walk next to him, silently, not thinking about how he got asked to the couple’s networking stupid god thing. Now he gets why MK wasn’t there. Wukong wouldn’t ask him otherwise, since he knows that he hates loud places and being around immortals he doesn’t know makes him feel weird. He still felt like the world was too loud, popping the last earbud in, but even in total silence his brain chittered away.
Wukong wanted to show off to a river goddess, which makes sense, because he is just enough of a proud asshole to get an entire dress made for this. But wouldn’t she understand why the monkey who has no partner wouldn’t show up to the romantic dinner or whatever this is? The peonies feel like overkill, and he’s never been more happy Wukong left him high and dry. Otherwise, he would’ve wandered this palace for an hour with witnesses thinking they’re together.
Is that so bad, though?
Wait, is this a date, or a fake date?
Macaque felt a brush on his elbow, glancing over to the monkey at his side. Right, he can’t hear at the moment and Wukong was probably trying to talk to him. He quickly signed to his partner, paws twisting in their own little language. “Party was too loud. Wanted to use the garden as a break, if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine,” Wukong replied, the parasol crooked in his elbow so he could communicate. “Is there anything I can do?”
When’s the last time he was asked that? Macaque quirked his lip upward in a tiny smile. “Just don’t like meeting new people. There’s too much to keep track of in there, get burnt out quickly. Especially with—” He decided it would be better to just point to the bad eye. Wukong nodded quietly in understanding.
“Are you okay with why I asked you here?”
“I knew you’d be doing something like that.” Macaque snickered, adding, “there’s no way you’d ask me on a date without another reason.”
Wukong halted in the pathway, Macaque tripping on his skirt as he accidentally outpaced him. He closed the parasol completely so he could focus on moving his paws. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“You don’t like me.”
“Of course I like you.”
His partner didn’t have a sign for his name, so he switched it out for something better. “Peaches, you killed me. I appreciate you trying to do better, but it’s clear you hated me at some point. We can’t go back to liking each other in a few months.”
“I meant it when I said I’m welcoming you back in my court.”
“You don’t have a court.”
“Well—” —Wukong couldn’t think of a sign for MK, instead going with a rough translation— “—my Little Heaven is taking care of what I did after I became king. They don’t need a hero, but I need something to do. I’m still king of the monkeys.”
“Then you have a court already.”
“Macaque, you’re a monkey.”
“I’m aware. But you don’t want the one who tried to kill you as your right-hand man, do you?”
“Who else will discern who will try to kill me next?” Wukong grinned, elbowing him again. “Not that they can, when I’m immortal.”
“Did you really think the river maiden would kill you?”
“Actually, I did just show her up in front of a good chunk of immortals, so it’s a possibility. I don’t know what a river goddess can do to me, but I do sink in water, so.”
“Why would you mess with her when she could kill you?”
“Because it’s funny. Hey, you should mess with the other one, make it nice and even.”
“She was fine!”
“You looked bored.”
“Well, I didn’t know where you were.”
“You love me that much?”
Macaque’s face twisted, dropping his paws and thinking about it. “Still no.”
“That’s okay.” Wukong decidedly did not look okay with that, but he still pointed to the main temple. “Back inside?”
Macaque shrugged, padding down the path to where they came from. He’s not here to unpack or deal with feelings. He’s just doing a favor to Wukong, then leaving.
Every other god paled in their conversations compared to his king.