Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Leonardo Hamato was not crazy. He wasn’t supposed to be here. Did he look like a crazy person? All he did was down a bottle of aspirin and then chicken out from jumping off a building. He was wishing he wasn’t a wuss and just took the leap, but nooooo he had to call his Uncle Hueso because he had second thoughts. Well now he was having third thoughts, and those thoughts were telling him he was stupid for not jumping.

But there was nothing Leo could do as he sat in a hospital wheelchair being pushed by a nurse who smelled like cigarettes and hot dog water. Should nurses even be allowed to smoke? Leo thought they shouldn’t. The two other nurses walking beside him were unremarkable, he’d probably forget about them the moment they disappeared. One had long blonde hair and was a human the other was a black-and-white lemur. The lemur was carrying a clipboard, Blondie was clearly holding something in her pocket. Probably a syringe for if he made a break for it. He was debating on it, but decided it was too much effort. She was also carrying a plastic bin full of his stuff.

“This is boring, how long until we get to the crazy person jail?” Leo knew that was probably an insensitive thing to say, but he was angry, and he knew these nurses wouldn’t laugh at his jokes, if anything his jokes may get him in more trouble.

“Not long now. We’re taking you to the teen unit, so you’ll be with kids around your age.”

“Ah yes, because mentally ill teenagers all packed together is an amazing idea.” Leo was lying, he was actually glad he’d be around kids his age and not a bunch of old people with dementia or Alzheimer's. He wouldn’t be able to handle that. The teens would probably be more accepting of him anyway.

“We’re here–” Leo started to lift himself from the chair. “Ah- please don’t get up yet.” Leo made a huff of protest before plopping back down his arms crossed. They were in front of a large half-circular desk that was attached to the wall. A handful of nurses sat behind the desk either typing away on computers, making calls, or looking through paperwork. 

“I’ve brought a new patient.”

“Okay,” the receptionist nurse looked over to glance at the turtle. She smiled at him, he returned it. “What’s your name hun?” 

“Lord Farquad,” he said with such confidence the nurse laughed. Finally, someone gets it. The other nurses just glanced at him. 

“Leonardo Hamato.” the lemur said looking at her clipboard. The nurse typed on the computer in front of her, squinted, then held her hand out for the clipboard. She barely glanced at the paper before typing away on her keyboard. Meanwhile, Blondie handed his bin to another nurse, exchanged a few words, and then the other nurse walked away with all his stuff. He still couldn’t believe they took his mask.

“Okay thank you, ladies. You can head back now. Do you need the clipboard back?”

“Yes please.” then the nurses were gone and Leo was left sitting in an uncomfortable wheelchair and freezing his ass off in his light blue scrubs.

“Okayyy. Let me just submit this… and then I’ll give you a tour. Sound good hun?”

“As good as it can get right now.” Leo shrugged. The lady nodded with sincere understanding.

“Alright lets go. You can get out the wheelchair if you want. Or I can push you around if that’s more comfortable for you.” Leo immediately got out of the wheelchair.

“Okay follow me!” The lady was really friendly and gave off warm welcoming vibes. Leo was glad she wasn’t some strict old white chick who was just there for a paycheck. “I liked your Lord Farquad joke, my kids love Shrek, they watch it all the time.”

“Your kids have excellent taste.” the nurse chuckled.

“So I am Miss. Freya, I’m one of the head nurses. You may have noticed we took all of your clothes and other belongings. This was because your items were either considered dangerous and you could use them to hurt yourself or others, or they were only permitted use for certain occasions and possibly under supervision. We’re sorry we had to take your clothes away, you may be allowed them back the next day. But we do have complimentary grippy socks for you.” Miss. Freya handed Leo a pair of black grippy socks. “The patients love these.” Miss. Freya winked. Leo quickly slipped on the socks. They were comfortable, and fun. Leo could see why the patients loved these. Why didn’t he know about these sooner? If he got out of here he was buying a shit ton of them.

“Now, this is the front desk, I assume you gathered that on your own. This is where you’ll also get your medication, pick up or drop off items, and sign in and out if you’re ever permitted to go somewhere else. Or if you just have a question or need anything.” Leo followed Miss. Freya as she walked down the hallway on the right. 

“These are the patient rooms, this is the male hallway. We have a bathroom at the end of the first two halls, but each room does have its own smaller bathroom.” The hallway was big, it was wide enough for some cushioned light green chairs, placed between some of the doors. The doors were colored a similar green, more mint colored. The floors were tiled white with a collection of three green tiles spaced around. The walls were off-white and were covered in sporadic scratches and stains. 

As the teen followed down the hallway someone in one of the rooms opened their door just enough for Leo to see dark green skin and a brown almond-shaped eye. After making eye contact they closed the door with a click.

The two reached the bathroom at the end of the hall, Miss. Freya knocked on the door and unlocked it when there was no response. The bathroom had a toilet with no back, and the lid had been removed. The handrails had metal plates behind them. Next to the toilet was an automatic sink and the mirror above had the words “Fuck this place” written with pink hand soap. 

“These kids.” Freya wiped the writing off with a brown paper towel as Leo looked around. There was a shower to the left with no curtain and a downward-facing shower head with no neck. 

“What’s with the weird shower head?”

“Ah, that’s so kids can’t hang themselves.”

“Oh.”

“Now, showers are only 7 minutes long. And we check in on you at the 2-minute and 5-minute mark. If you’re required a supervisor a nurse will go in with you and watch you, if you have a razor to shave they will have to watch you as well.”

“If you’re just using the bathroom, first you have to ask a nurse to unlock the door for you, second, if you take longer than 5 minutes we check on you.” Leo nodded to show he understood.

“The female hallway is the same, except the last door on the left leads to the Intersex Hallway. Now I saw on your form that your sex is female but you clearly do not present that way. Unfortunately, we require you to live in the female hallway for primarily your safety. Luckily we have a free room that you should hopefully have to yourself.”

“I guess it’s cool. I probably wouldn’t feel safe living with mentally ill cis dudes anyway.” Freya barked out a laugh then said, “Ain't that the truth. Some girls here can be wild too I will tell you that. You don’t need to be scared though hun, the movies rarely portray psych units correctly, it’s usually calm.”

Freya led the way around the corner and back to the front desk/lobby area. “On your left is the seclusion room, and on your right is the sensory room.” Both doors were closed so Leo couldn’t see what was inside. The name seclusion room terrified him. 

“Now in front of us,” Freya continued walking to large double doors across from the front desk. Freya put her key card into a scanner and a click signaled it was unlocked. “Is the community room that doubles as a lunch room” The room was big and spacious. In the center of the room was a large, round table with many dark blue chairs tucked under. Smaller, round tables with three chairs each, littered the room. On the left was what looked like a concession stand with a metal cover pulled down so no one could get in. Three large windows on the back wall had black blinds drawn down. The right wall had two short shelves next to each other. One shelf was more like a cabinet and had marker drawn all over it. The other had square compartments with books in them. A large, flat-screen TV was positioned a few feet above the shelf; and a circular, fuzzy, navy blue carpet lay between the large table and shelf.

“This is where you’ll eat, do group, and just hang out.”

“Group?”

“After you eat, you’ll all gather around in a group and introduce eachother talk about something, it can change depending on the nurse and the day but usually you talk about how you feel. Over there–” The nurse pointed to a small hallway next to the concession stand. “--Is the phone call room. We have three pay phones you can use to call people or people can reach you on.” 

“Routine is going to be a big part of your day. A heads up, in the morning they will ask you to strip and they’ll check you for new scars, bruises, etc. Like before you are admitted. This part can be traumatizing for patients who weren’t warned beforehand so we try to let all new patients know. And I’ll tell you right now it can be very boring in here. I recommend having someone bring in books for you. Here’s your room.”

Leo’s room was the second to last one. The door had a window on it with dials to control the blinds from the outside and inside. “Leonardo Hamato” was written on a small whiteboard next to his door in orange expo marker. Freya unlocked the door and let him open it. As Leo opened the door he noticed the door handles were weird. The handless basically touched the door, Leo assumed this was also so you wouldn’t hang yourself. 

The room was bare and blank. Two beds with no front or back bed frame were pushed into the upper left and right-hand corner. Two-night stands were bolted to the floor and sat next to the beds. To Leonardo's left was a door that Leo assumed led to the bathroom. Across from the bed to Leo’s right was a semi-circle desk attached to the wall with a chair underneath. 

“The bathroom door has a trigger that will notify us when you open and close it going in, and then when you open and close it going out. If you’re in there for more than 7 minutes we will check on you. There are help buttons all around the building, and there is one next to your bed. Press it if you need any help.”

“Am I uh, am I locked in here?”

“Nope, you’re free to walk out of your room if you need to, we have night nurses who can watch you if you do. They’re just locked from the outside so other patients can’t get in during the night.”

“Alright.”

“Here are the insomnia meds Miss. Freya.” A purple yokai with long elf ears and three eyes appeared in the doorway with a tiny cup filled with water and a condiments cup with what Leo assumed were his pills.”

“Thank you, Jamie.”

Leo took the pills and washed them down with the water. After a moment Miss. Freya asked, “Are you okay for me to leave you now hun? Any more questions or are you ready to get some rest?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Alright, remember to come to the front desk if you need anything. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

When the door clicked shut Leo immediately felt isolated and realized the severity of his situation. He’d lost all his freedom. He knew he couldn’t get out until the doctors said he could. He was trapped in a psych ward with mentally ill teenagers. He didn’t belong here. He wasn’t crazy, sure he had severe depression with manic tendencies, PTSD, anxiety, and insomnia but he’d been living with those since he was 12, why be put in here now? 

The suicide thing wasn’t even that bad. No, he didn’t call his Uncle Hueso in a massive fit of tears and hysteria with an entire bottle of aspirin coursing through his body on the top of a building, what are you talking about? There were tons of teens who tried to commit but they didn’t get sent to psych wards did they? Why him and not some kid who couldn’t pull the trigger on himself? 

Leo thought all of this as he settled down into his new bed, it was strangely comfortable actually, and it wasn’t until his head hit the pillow that he realized how truly exhausted he was. He noticed how his joints ached, and how dry and heavy his eyelids were. That was when he remembered he hadn’t had sleep in the last 72 hours. Before he could finish his thoughts about why he totally didn’t belong here he was knocked out into a dreamless sleep and he didn’t hear the shrieks coming from down the hall.

Chapter Text

The lights were bright, and that’s what woke Leo up when they were suddenly turned on, accompanied by a nurse opening the door to wake him up.

“Great, you're already awake!” It was the Yokai nurse from last time, the one with three eyes and long elf ears. “Get up, make your bed then strip.”

Right. Leo forgot about the stripping. Let’s have the mentally ill transgender teenager, diagnosed with gender dysphoria strip! Cause that’s a good idea. Despite the mutant not having many defining sex characteristics his dysphoria was still very apparent. The tired teen haphazardly made his bed and then took off the scrubs he slept in. 

After that harrowing, vulnerable experience the nurse handed him the blue hoodie he had worn from last night. 

“Where’d the strings go?” He asked after he slipped it on.

“We remove all strings from hoodies, you could hang and choke yourself with them.”

“Ah.” Leo liked his hoodie strings, it gave him something to fidget with.

“Follow me to the showers.” Leo obliged.

When he stepped out into the hall he remembered that other people were here too. He arrived in the night so no one was out. Now there was a line of 8 girls waiting on their turn for the shower. A couple of them turned their heads and acknowledged the new patient. One girl with a crooked nose and sunken eyes stared Leo down until he made it to the end of the line.

The nurse handed Leonardo a soft cream-colored towel and walked to the end of the hall. 

As the line kept moving somewhat quickly since the showers were short Leo felt more and more out of place. Some of the girls seemed to actually notice him once they got out of the show and gave him puzzling, even judgmental looks. Finally, he was the second to last. He needed a warm shower. Once the nurse doing shower checks got the girl with the crooked nose out of the shower. The one in front of him with incredibly long hair whipped around and looked him in the eye.

“Bitch ass whore!” she yelled then shut herself in the bathroom.

Leo just looked at the spot she stood in, mouth ajar and eyes wide. He was stunned. The nurse doing checks chuckled a little. Leo could already tell this was going to be a long day.

To Leo’s immense disappointment, the shower was not warm. It was so close to lukewarm but not quite and that bothered Leo way more than it should have. The pressure wasn’t good either, it was but a trickle to him. He was prepared for the 2-minute check but forgot about the 5-minute one and almost slipped with a yelp that others definitely heard.

As the turtle left the bathroom damp and clean the girl who called him a whore made eye contact with him. She flipped him the bird which he gladly returned. Whether it was genuine or light-hearted was up for debate.

A few patients were standing in a hap-hazard line around the front desk which Leo joined. He watched the patients before him give the nurses their names and then receive their medication. The patients then showed them their tongues to prove they had swallowed them.

“Leonardo Hamato.” a nurse with tan skin and a very tight bun looked at something under the desk he couldn’t see. As he waited he saw Miss. Freya in the back, they shared smiles. “Here you are.” 

Leo looked inside the little cup, these were all the meds he already took, except a new one which he didn’t recognize.

“What’s this one?” He asked, holding it up to the nurse. She looked at something before answering, “Halcion.”

“And it does….?”

“Can help with suicidal thoughts and anxiety.”

Leo gave the medication a look before begrudgingly taking it. Even though he’d been swallowing medication for years he still never liked how the pills and tablets were just big enough that it was uncomfortable to swallow them.

As he swallowed the last pill he turned around, drink still to his lips. A couple of patients who were walking toward the community room were staring at him. He finished the water before wiping his mouth and saying, “What?” Most of the patients went back to their business, others kept staring, and some mumbled to one another.

Leonardo sat against the wall under one of the big windows, whose blinds were now open and letting in natural sunlight. Every table was occupied and he did not have enough effort to try and socialize.

Two nurses came in with a stack of paper menus and passed them around. When a nurse came up to him she asked, “Don’t you want to sit at a table? It might be more comfortable.”

“No, I like the floor.”

“B–”

“That kid’s on the floor too. Why aren’t you pestering them about it?” Leo gestured to a shorthair, cat yokai with burns all over their arms. They were sitting close to the carpet clapping their hands and closing their eyes.

“He shouldn’t be sitting there either actually. Sally! Help take care of Julie, while I take care of…”

“Leo.”

“Leo, please.” The other nurse quickly went to Julie's side and coaxed him to the nearest table.

“Now please take a seat.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s unsanitary and we encourage new patients to make connections with other patients, having friends is important here.”

“Does anyone want to be my friend and sit on the floor with me then?!” Leo called out to the community room. His words echoed off the walls. A long pause occurred before someone stood up. Leo was honestly surprised. Someone with long black hair and a somewhat large nose walked over and plopped, crisscross next to Leo. The nurse just sighed and handed Leo a menu and a red stubbed crayon.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m Casey Jones.”

“Leonardo Hamato.” Leo looked over the paper menu. Options for breakfast, lunch, and dinner were on the menu. Leo had heard of this briefly somewhere. That in the morning you picked what you had for the whole day. They all looked kind of gross.

“Which of these is the least disgusting?”

“Surprisingly the eggs and sausage. It’s also the least amount of food so you eat less. The side of fruit is the only good part of it though. Oh yeah, Pizza’s the best choice for lunch! It’s what almost everyone gets.”

“Thanks, broham.”

As the nurse gathered their menus and crayons Casey spoke up.

“I didn’t see you in the shower line. Or any of the rooms in Male Hall what’s up with that? Are you intersex or something?”

For some reason, Leo liked that Casey assumed he was intersex rather than trans. 

“No, I’m in the Female Hall.”

“Ahhh, okay. I got a cousin like you, only she’s the opposite.”

“Trans fem?”

“Yep, something like that.” Casey made a motion like he was shoving away from something by his shoulder.

“Hey, can I ask what’s with the bitch with long hair?” Casey laughed.

“That’s Celest. She’s got Borderline Personality Disorder. And Tourette's. Lemme guess she called you… A bitch ass whore?

“She called me a bitch ass whore.” Casey laughed even louder. “She also stuck me the middle finger.”

“That ain't no tic, that’s all Celest.”

“Well, then that makes me feel good about flipping her back.”

“Good! That’s a good way to be on her good terms actually. Shows her you’ve got a good sense of humor or can stand up for yourself.”

“Here you go.” A nurse handed the two teens their meals. Suddenly a red yokai with bat wings and large yellow eyes slammed his hands on the table and stood up.

“ Fuck you, Casey! You’re the reason we have plastic utensils again! ” Casey stood up immediately. 

“ You wanna go, Jalma! I’ll give them a reason to switch to goddamn cardboard if you don’t back off!” Jalma started stalking toward the human boy before a nurse intervened. One stood on standby near Casey waiting for him to make a move. Casey stood in the same defensive position, never breaking his eyes away from Jalma until he was back in his seat and calmed down.

“What the hell was that about?”

“I snuck a fork from dinner and stabbed my shoulder. Overestimated my strength and it actually broke skin.”

“Were you not trying to break skin?”

“Nah, just an indent that would’ve been gone in the morning.”

“Ah,” they ate the rest of breakfast in peace.

Once all the plates had been gathered everyone made their way to the big table.

“Okay, let's get this bitch over with.” Casey cracked his knuckles before taking a seat. Leo sat next to him.

“Welcome back to Group everyone, I’m Nurse Gaison–”

“More like Gay for deez nuts!” shouted a human boy with a buzz. Some of the other patients giggled. One almost couldn’t breathe.

“Mark, it doesn't get any funnier the more you say it. Now first up, we have a new patient, I’m sure quite a few of you have noticed. They will introduce themselves once it’s their turn. First, everyone will go around the circle, share their name, share how they feel currently and how they feel the day will go. Who wants to start us?”

“Me! Me, meeee!”

“Start us off, Freda.”

“I am Freda Frole–” Said a human girl with dyed red hair. “Right now I feel like I want to run around and climb the walls.”

“So energetic, you might say?”

“Yes! And… I feel the day will go slow like it always does.”

“Thank you, Freda.”

Soon it was Leonardo’s turn. “Before you start, since you’re new I want you to tell us how old you are and your impressions of this place so far.”

“I’m Leonardo Hamato, 16, and this place seems isolating, but hey, you guys have some good Pizza apparently. Right now I feel tired as shit, and I feel today is going to suck.” His introduction won a few snaps of approval. And a “Preach” from one of the patients.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Once Group was over they were free to do whatever they desired, there was an animal drawing workshop you could join, and The Lion King was playing on the TV.

“So what do you normally do here Casey Jones?” Leo asked as they left the community room.

“Call me Case and–” He did the shoulder thing again. “I find people who want to play cards with me. Then we play. Until we get bored, or too angry. Then I find something else to do.”

“Yo Julie, you wanna play a game of BS?” Casey leaned in the doorframe of Julie's room. He shook his head and resumed reading his book.

“Oh, I know who’ll want to play! You Raphael!” Casey approached a large turtle Yokai, a lot like Leo. He was very spiky and wore red shoulder and knee pads.

“What’s up little man?”

“Up for some BS?” Casey held up a stack of cards for emphasis.

“Always! Hey, you’re Leonardo right?”

“Leo’s fine.”

“I like ya hoodie.”

“Thanks, I like your pads.” The large turtle gave a sad grin.

Soon Leo was sitting at one of the smaller tables with Casey, Raphael, a blue-skinned, duck Yokai named Sammy, and the deez nuts guy whose name was Mark, but swore everyone called him M-Diggity Dawg or M Double D”

“So you’re new huh Leo?” Raphael asked. 

“Yep.” Leo noticed it took Raph a bit longer to place cards down and move around in general compared to the others. It wasn’t by much but still noticeable. Leo wondered what was wrong with him.

“Have you been to a place like this before?”

“No, it's my first time.”

“Ayy we got a virgin!” Mark playfully punched Leo in the arm. “It sucks here man.”

“He’s right, it gets boring a lot in here,” Sammy said. “Two, tens”

“BS! Sammy, I call Bullshit!” Sammy turned the cards over with a grin and Mark took the pile of cards mumbling curses under his breath.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Boring it got indeed. They’d finished BS long ago, Sammy and Mark left to do their own things so it was just Leo, Casey, and Raph.

“Hey Raph, have you seen Mikey? I thought he’d be doing the art workshop.”

“Haven’t seen him. I think he’s still in his room.”

“You heard him scream last night right?” Casey asked, leaning forward in his chair. Meanwhile, Leonardo leaned back, interested in the conversation.

“Yeah. Kept me up almost the whole night. At least I didn’t get nightmares because I was awake all night.”

“Wonder what it was about. I’m betting it on PTSD.”

“Case, you know I don’t like making assumptions about that stuff.” Raph leaned back and crossed his arms.

The three teens sat in boredom yet again, all looking up at the high ceiling in the both clean and stale air. 

“ Bitch ass whore!! ”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Finally, it was lunchtime. Leo sat at a table with Casey and Raph. The pizza wasn’t bad even though it was hospital food. Maybe a bit too greasy but Leo’s had worse.

“You need to eat.”

“You don’t understand. ”

The commotion at a nearby table caught the red-eared slider's attention.

“Please. You don’t have to eat all of it. What if you just leave the crust?”

“ No. I’m not eating any of this!” A rabbit Yokai with white fur was arguing with a nurse. He could only see him from the back.

“Why not Yuichi?”

“Someone poisoned it.”

“What makes you think someone poisoned your pizza?”

“I’m mentally ill. A retard . Who knows what fascists work here that want to eradicate my existence!”

“Yuichi, we know the r slur is unacceptable here.”

“Who cares, my pizza is contaminated. I saw them pour something onto my pizza!”

“I promise it is not poisoned, no one is trying to poison you. It’s okay, I need you to eat the pizza.”

“ You poisoned my pizza!”

“Now what makes you think that?”

“You’re trying really hard to make me eat my pizza! That’s suspicious! Nurse! I need a nurse–”

“Yuichi no! I am not trying to kill you! What I’m trying to do is to get you to eat perfectly normal food so you stay healthy and don’t starve.”

“Who’s the rabbit kid that thinks he’s being poisoned?” Leo asked.

“That’s Yuichi Usagi. He’s been here a while. Not as long as me, but definitely a while. He’s got extreme paranoia. Paranoid Personality Disorder I think. He was also addicted to Heroin and LSD. I think that’s what made him paranoid.” Casey took a bite out of his pizza.

“You’re not any better Casey Jones. You’ve had moments of paranoia too.”

“Why are you here Casey?” Leo asked, now that the topic had come up.

“I have Undifferentiated schizophrenia, I had this delusion that my family was being stalked by the FBI to get to me. So I thought if I killed myself the FBI wouldn’t need me and they’d leave my parents alone. So I stood on a bridge and was about to jump onto a four-lane highway when some old lady saw me and stopped me. I thought she was part of the FBI too. She called the cops and they took me to the hospital and had me admitted here. I also had a drinking problem.”

“Holy shit.”

“The shit is holy indeed.” Casey joked. “Raph you wanna share with the newbie why you’re so fucked up?” Raph thought for a moment before answering.

“I have melancholia, a type of severe depression. I've slowed down cause of how sad I am. I also have Autophobia, I hate being alone. I was left alone for too long and started going crazy. In my breakdown, I didn’t recognize my mom and almost hurt her. She stopped me and she took me here.” Leo was silent. He couldn’t imagine going so crazy he’d hurt people to an extreme degree.

“Your turn, newbie. What’d you do? What do you have?”

“I have severe depression with manic tendencies, I took an entire bottle of aspirin and was going to jump off a building. I chickened out and I called someone close. They had me come here.”

“Damn.”

“I wish I jumped. Then I wouldn’t be stuck in this stupid place.”

“Hey don’t say that Leo,” Raph said leaning further onto the table. “This place sucks, but you gotta get better. You have the potential to recover, lots of people here don’t and will be here a long time”

“Some will either die in here or die out there after leaving,” Casey added.

“Don’t be either of those. Make some friends and try to improve.”

“Well, you guys are my friends right?”

“Of course man, us mental kids gotta stick together.” Casey and Raph laughed.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The rest of the day was boring, with the occasional tic or compulsion from a patient, but the rest of the day was slow. Turns out you kind of get used to being surrounded by crazy teenagers. 

Toward the end of the day before dinner, Leo retreated to his room to try and nap. It was proving difficult when a nurse came in saying “Checks” every 5 minutes. Could they at least be longer? After the 9th check, Leo decided to go back outside. Luckily it was dinner time.

Dinner was unremarkable. No one had anything to say to each other. When dinner was over everyone made their way to their rooms to brush their teeth. A nurse followed Leo and handed him a hospital toothbrush with hard bristles and hospital toothpaste that was strangely sweet. The nurse watched him as he methodically brushed his teeth. 

Leo rolled his eyes. Did they think he was really going to kill himself with a toothbrush? Leo paused for a second and looked at the toothbrush in his hand. His throat clamped up at the thought of choking himself with it… he shook his head and coughed. Death by toothbrush was lame anyway. 

He handed back the toothbrush and toothpaste, the nurse gave him a longer stare than normal before exiting the bathroom. She returned 5 minutes later with Leo’s medication. He swallowed the pills and collapsed into bed. The door closed with the click he was all too familiar with now. The lights turned off and his eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness. The lights from the lobby gave some light through the door window. 

Despite his insomnia medication, he was finding it hard to sleep. He was exhausted, he just wanted to sleep. And the goddamn 5-minute checks didn’t help either. Fuck he hated this boring stale place. It pressed into his entire body, the feeling of being trapped in a routine he’d barely started. Everything was going to be the same thing every day until he got out. He didn’t know when that’d be. How’d they even know if he was better? He was better now, a nurse should come in and tell him he’s free to go. Fuck he hated this. The smell of disinfectant and dust at the same time. The smell of depression and hopelessness was marinated into the walls and floors. Maybe if he just killed himself now it’d all go away. Maybe if he just tried to and they caught him they’d see that this place wasn’t helping him. Yeah, that might work. This place doesn’t help, it makes it worse. Why has no one realized this?

Leo sat up with his realization. This place doesn’t help people. It just makes them worse, forcing them into routine and making them follow stupid rules. No wonder he was so fucking depressed right now. Leo had to tell everyone. Well, not the nurses. They’d probably try to shut him down. But he had to tell the others. Fuck, Leo was so proud of himself that he’d cracked the mystery. 

The turtle stayed up all night mulling over the specifics, his reasoning, shifting through the evidence he’d gathered in his head, he was too excited to give everyone his newfound information. He was angry too, that no one had realized this and shut down psych wards. He learned to ignore the checks. A few nurses asked him why he wasn’t sleeping so he pretended to be asleep and thought of all this with his eyes closed.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The lights turned on and temporarily blinded him. He got out of bed knowing what was coming. He made his bed quickly and he was ready to strip when the nurse came in.

“What are these?” asked the three-eyed nurse.

“Hm?” Leo looked over to where she was gesturing. His right hand and wrist had small bruises and marks. “Dunno.” the turtle shrugged. This was true, he didn’t know where those marks came from.

“Leo, were you pinching yourself last night?”

Leo hummed in thought. “I don’t remember.” The nurse looked at him with a worried face, but Leo still smiled. He was too giddy today. Almost like he was high.

“Alright, well, get in line for the showers. You have a meeting with a psychiatrist today at 2 p.m.”

“Yes ma’am!” Leo gave a salute before putting his hoodie back on and stepping outside. He took an inhale of the stale, depressing air. This place doesn’t make anyone better, it makes them worse. He thought with an odd smile on his face. 

When he got into the bathroom after Celest called him a bitch ass whore again, he realized how much the water tickled. It made him giggle. He took the body wash and squirted it into his hand. He noticed how the body wash poured into his hand in little swirls and he was mesmerized by how the soap piled up.

“Check.” the door opened and Leo jumped, he made a moment of eye contact with the nurse before avoiding it and then returning to his shower. He took the large puddle of soap in his hand and resumed washing himself. He cleaned the soap off his body and remembered that he was supposed to be thinking about his realization. He stood underneath the water as he thought of more reasons and started mumbling them out loud so he’d remember more. He had to tell someone. There was no way he could keep this to himself. But not the nurses. Don’t tell the nurses.

“They’ll shut me down. The nurses will shut me down. I need to tell Casey. This is so genius, it’s so genius.” Leo paused. The water had a shift in temperature. It became slightly warmer. Leo was happy, he hated the barely lukewarm showers and now it was warmer. He needed a warm shower.

“Check”

“The water’s warm.”

“What?”

“The water got warmer! Isn’t that awesome? The water here is kind of cold. I'm glad it’s warmer now. Is this the 5-minute check?”

“Yeah..”

“Oh okay. I’m done, I can get out early, right? Cause I’m done with my shower. I don’t have anything to do.”

“Yeah, you can get out.”

“Alright, thanks, bro.” The nurse closed the door slowly to give Leo privacy. Leo quickly dried himself off with the soft towel and threw on his hoodie. 

He walked out of the bathroom and made his way to get his medication. His stupid medication, this routine is not helping anybody. 

He took the pills from the nurse and remembered he had a new medication. What was it called again? Halsin? Halion? Halucion? Hallucinations. Casey has those, right? Casey the schizophrenic. Leo couldn’t imagine having to see and hear things that weren’t there. He’d probably kill himself. That’s what Casey did. At least he tried to. Tried to kill himself. Hallucinations must be crazy. 

“Halcion! That’s what it’s called!” Leo said out loud. A few patients looked at him, the nurses too. Some looked at him like he was crazy. That was ironic. Leo giggled a bit before taking his pills. Oh yeah, Casey! Leo had to find him so he could tell him about what he found out. Casey was going to be amazed, maybe they could gather some sort of union? Escape or something. The elevator was right there. Leo found Casey sitting underneath the window where they sat yesterday.

“Casey!” The black-haired teen looked up from the floor and smiled as Leo jogged over. “Hey Casey– ooh the floors are really nice!” Leo said as he sat down. The floor was nice and cool on his green skin. Leo pressed a hand onto the cool floor before remembering he had to regale Casey with his information.

“Casey!”

“That’s my name.”

“I think I figured something out. I’m pretty much a genius. I don’t know how no one else figured this out.”

“Okay? What did you find out?”

“Alright get ready, get ready. You ready?” Casey nodded. “This place doesn’t help people. It’s supposed to but it doesn’t, it just makes us more depressed.” Leo laughed, his eyes gleaming.

“What do y–”

“They give us this boring routine, do you know how many people hate routine? An endless cycle of everything being the same, that’s so terrifying. No wonder I wanted to choke myself with a toothbrush last night.”

“Leo you–”

“Oh yeah so last night I was brushing my teeth and I was annoyed that the nurse was watching me. Watching me brush my teeth like I was going to kill myself with it. Which is a totally lame way to go. But then I thought that If I wanted to I could jam it down my throat and let myself choke to death. I didn't though because I’m still here. What was I talking about?” Leo paused.

“Leo you wanted to kill yourself your last night? That’s not–”

“Yeah, I did! But isn’t this place supposed to make me not want to do that? See? That’s why this place doesn’t work. I feel more depressed than ever. Well except for right now, I actually feel good right now. It’s like I’m high. Have you ever been high Casey? I got high on weed once. It was crazy. I feel like that right now.”

“Leo calm down!”

“If this place is supposed to help then how come I’m not getting better? You’ve been here forever, they haven’t let you out because they still think you’re not okay. But you’re not okay because this place is making you that way. It’s making me that way too.”

“Here are your menus.”

“Oh thank you.” Leo waited for the nurse to walk away.

“Leo you need to—”

“I can’t tell the nurses. They’ll shut me down. Maybe they’re in on something. No, I think they just don’t know nothing works. Oh, my crayon's blue! I love blue. I used to have a blue mask but they took it away because I could hang myself. Which is dumb because I wouldn’t. Well maybe…”

“Leowhydon’tyouorderyourbreakfast!” Casey interrupted. He didn’t like this. 

“What? Oh yeah, food!” Leo was silent as he circled the food he wanted. As he circled what he wanted for dinner he realized how much he liked making the circle motion. He started drawing spirals over and over.

“Okay, Leo stop!” Casey grabbed his hand and made Leo face him, Leo giggled a little before asking, “Casey what’s wrong?”

“Leo, you're acting crazy. You won’t stop talking, and why are you happy about thinking this place doesn’t help?”

“It’s Mania.” Both teens looked up to see a white rabbit yokai approaching them. 

“Holy fuck you’re pretty,” Leo said with an unbelievably huge smile on his face. The rabbit stopped, surprised by his comment. Leo was mesmerized. His fur was practically glowing and his eyes were such a sharp red it was amazing. His eyes were shaped like perfect almonds. And his ears were held up with a blue scrunchy. Leo was overwhelmed with admiration and beauty.

“Thanks?”

“What’d you say about Mania, Yuichi?”

“He’s experiencing Mania. I’ve seen it before. Fast speech, obsessions with something specific, easily distracted.”

“I’m not fucking manic. I’ve been manic before. Episodes of Mania make me angry. I’m not angry, I’m feeling amazing. I feel high. Have you ever been high?” 

“You’ve asked that already.”

“I did?”

“I know what it’s like to be high, turtle boy.”

“Good, 'cause that’s what I feel like. I was talking about something important. What was it?” Leo turned back to Casey for an answer.

“You were acting crazy, and were going on about how this place doesn’t do anything.”

“Because it doesn’t! I’ve been telling you! The endless routine, and strict rules, can’t you smell the hopelessness that surrounds this place? Being surrounded by crazy and sad teenagers doesn’t exactly boost your mood and I still w–”

“Leo, this is only your second day!! What is this? I thought you were chill but you’re talking so fast about some theory. ”

These words hit Leo in the face so hard that he felt his cheeks getting hot. He felt anger quickly bubble and fill him up. Crazy? Leo wasn’t crazy! He’s been saying that from day one!

“It’s not a theory. Casey it’s so simple and obvious I–”

“Leo stop! You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been here for a year and a half. I’ve improved dramatically. When I first came here I was so skinny and depressed out of my mind. I wouldn’t stop hurting myself, they had to tackle me and put me in seclusion so often. They had to sedate me once. Leo, this place does help. And you’re scaring me. Why are you happy about this theory?”

“I’ve been–” Yuichi tried to back up Casey but was quickly interrupted.

“Well, I’m not happy anymore. I’m fucking upset. Why don’t you believe me? It makes so much sense! You’ve been here so long you’ve lost sense of reality! This place makes us worse .” Leo was standing up now, and Casey followed suit. Yuichi just stood there not knowing what to do. He’d seen Mania before but he was young.

“No Leo, I know what losing sense of reality is. And that’s what you’re doing.” Leo let out a cry of frustration. 

“How would you know? Casey Jones. The schizophrenic. For all you know, you’re hallucinating me! Those voices in your head telling you to kill me yet? Maybe to kill yourself to make this stop? This place is a fucking poison!”

“Hey!” Yuichi spoke up.

“ You’re all fucking blind! Can’t you see this place does nothing?” Leo was oblivious to the nurses now approaching him.

“Leo, that's enough.” Casey grabbed hold of the turtle's arm. Leo quickly drew it away.

“ Don’t fucking touch me! ”

Nurses were quickly on him to calm him down. Not yet touching him, but when one of the nurses touched his shoulder he made a break for it, which got three nurses to grab him. 

“ NO LET GO OF ME!! ” Two nurses held his arms and one was holding his torso, trying to get him onto the ground. “ YOU FUCKWADS GET OFF OF ME! THIS PLACE IS BULLSHIT AND NONE OF YOU KNOW!” Leo managed to kick the nurse holding his torso and tore away from the other two. He didn’t know where he was going to go. There were stairs in the intersex hall. Leo made it to the lobby when a large bull and a wolf yokai tackled him. Another nurse came too, this one was human. “ NO! STOP!! ”

“What’s going on?” It was Miss. Freya's voice.

“Mania, Miss. Freya.” Fucking snitch. Leo thought once Yuichi called him out. 

“He keeps talking about how this place is–”

“ BULLSHIT! IT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING! ”

“Sedate him. He needs to be calm.”

“N O! NO! YOU’RE NOT INJECTING ME WITH SHIT! ” He writhed and writhed underneath the large nurses. He could feel bruises on his wrists and arms already forming. Then he felt a prick in his neck. “ NO! STOP!! WHAT DID YOU PUT IN ME?! WHAT WAS IT?! LEAVE ME ALONE!! ” Leo kept screaming till his throat was raw. It wasn’t very long until it was hard for him to keep screaming and fighting. His arms were flowing with heaviness and his lids were proving difficult to keep open. 

“No stop... Stop! Let me.. Let me go! Stop it.. Stop.. sto.. stop..”

Chapter Text

Leonardo woke up to the sound of a door opening with a creak. His eyelids were heavy and his limbs were made of lead. The first thing he saw was white. Just white. Then blue. Then green, the green tiles of the floor outside. He realized there was someone in front of him. He looked up, his eyes half open. It was Miss Freya.

“Hey Leo, how ya doin’?” Leo grunted as he sat up. He looked around. He was in a small room with off-white walls. He was sitting on a white mattress with grey stripes. The walls had scratches, peeled paint, and stains that Leo hoped weren’t any type of bodily fluids.

“What is this... Where am I?”

“You’re in the seclusion room. We put people here for acting out so they can calm down in an area we know they won't harm anyone or themselves in.”

“What the fuck.” Was all Leo could say. He wanted to say more but he was just so tired.

“You experienced a Manic Episode and were attempting to run we had to sedate you.”

“There's no way that was a Manic Episode. I’ve been manic before and I get angry when I’m manic. I felt- actually really good… well then I got angry.”

“Mania can be a good experience for some. I don’t remember the technical term. Your therapist can probably tell you.”

“How long do I have to stay in this shit hole?”

“Till your therapist comes and you can see them. It’s at 2 p.m. It’s currently 10 a.m.”

“Oh fuck me…”

“Sorry hun.” the door closed with a heavier click than the other doors. Leo stood up and walked to the door. It had a small window close to the top that he could look out of. Not much to see, just the closed door to the stimulation room across the hall and a bit of the tiled floor. Leo sat back onto the mattress and hugged his knees to his chest, trying to remember all the details of his supposed Manic Episode.

“Pssst. Leo!” the turtle's head shot up. He could see Casey's face in the window.

“Casey!” The two teens were face to face now.

“You doing okay? I’ve been in seclusion lots of times, the first time is always really hard.”

“I’m okay. It’s kind of boring here though.”

“Yeah, that’s what this whole place is. Just boring.”

“Hey Case… I’m- I’m sorry.” Leo was never great at apologizing. “For what happened. I don’t remember too much but I know I definitely said some not okay stuff to you. Think you can forgive me?”

“Yeah, man of course. We all have moments like that. Shit knows I have. That was crazy though, I’d never seen someone experience Mania. Shit someone’s coming– see you, Leonardo!”

“Bye..” Leo gave a small wave to the teen who was speed walking away. Then he saw another figure pause close to the door. It was Yuichi. They caught each other's eyes and maintained eye contact for a moment. Leo frowned then said, “ Snitch.” Yuichi just walked away. 

He immediately felt bad, Leo always had a thing about snitches but he still had this… feeling about the rabbit boy. Was he really crushing while in a psych ward? Maybe he was crazy.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The seclusion room was both heaven and hell. Leo enjoyed the silence, it gave him time to think without being interrupted with checks anymore. Now they just looked through the window. This place made him feel strangely calm. But the idea of not knowing what’s going on outside, missing things, and the feeling of being stuck is what made this hell. 

While in the seclusion room, Leo had wept, giggled, paced, and talked to himself. Leo even counted every stripe on the mattress and every scrape and stain on the walls. If he was allowed a pencil he’d make a tik mark for however many hours he was in there. 

Casey and Raph came to visit a few times for barely two minutes. This place was driving him crazy, but at least it calmed him from going into mania again. While in the seclusion room, he heard a scream come from the male hall. The turtle got up and peeped through the window. Three nurses rushed past the door and Leo watched them turn out of sight to whoever was screaming. Leo wondered what they did when they had to put two people in the seclusion room.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The door opened again, a human handed him a slice of greasy pizza on a paper plate.

“Thanks bro.” Leo said as he took the plate. The turtle ate in silence and when he was done he knocked on the door to signal that the nurse could take back his plate. His stomach was full but he still felt empty.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“Could you expand on that?”

Leo groaned. His psychiatrist had asked him to “expand on that” for the fourth time now. 

Leo was finally let out of seclusion when it was time for his appointment. He was extremely relieved to be out of there and back to the psych unit society. But now he was feeling arguably worse than he did in seclusion. He hated his psychiatrist, Dr. Sal. He was a slim grey owl yokai with small horns and four thin but large eyes. His eyes were further magnified by his circular glasses that rested on his beak. His voice was almost monotone and it seemed like he didn’t know how to hold a conversation or ask follow-up questions so just stuck with, “What do you mean?” and “Could you expand on that?”

“I mean that I’ve been manic before. Whenever I do I’m angry, not happy. Miss Freya said mania can be a happy experience, but I don’t know what she means.”

“Well, Mania usually shows as anger, most people who experience mania are angry and irritable. However, mania can be a happy, even euphoric experience. It could be a new environment that caused a shift in the type of mania you experience.”

“I guess. I became angry in the end though. Had to be put in seclusion.”

“Do you know what may have triggered your manic episode? Or past manic episodes?”

Leo shrugged. “Stress I guess, I don’t know.”

“Can you expand on that?” Leo groaned.

“I just said I don’t know. My past manic episodes happened because I was stressed out or something big happened.”

“Hmmmm.” 

Leo's eyes widened.  “Are you saying that because this was such a big change for me that it triggered my mania?” asked the red-eared slider. The psychiatrist nodded.

“Being admitted into a psychiatric unit is a massive change, and is often traumatizing the first time. Being put into a new environment after the traumatic moment of attempted suicide is very shocking.”

“Yeah, no shit. You don’t have to tell me.” Leo leaned back folding his arms, but he wasn’t necessarily angry.

“Speaking of suicide.”

Shit.

“In your files and reports, I read that you attempted. Do you think you could tell me about your attempt?”

“Why should I tell you, I know the method is written down on there.”

“Is it?”

Leo rolled his eyes before answering. “I downed a bottle of aspirin then climbed a random building so I could jump. But I chickened out and called my Uncle.”

“What were you thinking while attempting your suicide?”

“That I wanted to kill myself. What else do people think?”

“That they're useless, or that death would free them from pressure or difficult things going on in their lives.”

“Well, I was just thinking about killing myself. Simple as shit.” Leo wasn’t ready to unpack that bag of feelings. Not in a million years.

The owl sighed before shifting the topic. “Your uncle? Would this be your Uncle Hueso? He’s listed as one of your emergency contacts.” Leo nodded. “Is he important to you?”

Leo swallowed a dry lump in his throat. “Yeah. I’m close with my uncle. He’s helped me through some stuff. And makes really good pizza.” Leo chuckled. The psychiatrist said nothing, so Leo filled the silence.

“I’m worried he’s disappointed in me. I know he’s not, bI can’t help but think. I feel like all he knows of me is my mental issues. I think that’s what most people know of me. Like it’s my identity.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I talk to most people it’s about my problems, I don’t like talking about them though. I blow it off with humor. Almost everyone has a look on their face when talking to me. All they’re thinking about is how sad my situation was. I think it is. Right now it seems like all that’s important about me is my depression and mental issues. I wonder if- if this place does fix me if I’ll have anything worthy of myself to talk about. Anything to be proud or ashamed of.”

There was a long pause before the psychiatrist spoke up.

“Well, Leonardo. The place alone cannot fix you, you have to put in the effort to fix yourself. Along with the word fix. Do you think that your mental illnesses are something that needs to be cured or fixed?”

“I guess. But you can’t really cure depression or mania can you?”

“No, you cannot Leonardo. That’s why the goal of the psych ward is to make sure your symptoms and mental state are manageable enough that you can re-enter society knowing you won't hurt yourself or others. It’s not to cure you. Your mental illness will always be something that is a part of you.”

“Wow. That’s so reassuring.” Leo deadpanned. But he understood. This was something he’d have to live with, he wouldn’t be able to make it go away. Somehow that thought was comforting.

“Is it bad that I think it’s good that this will stick with me?”

“Not necessarily. Many individuals find comfort in knowing that something will always stay consistent about them. Some find their mental illnesses and disorders empowering. In your case do you think it’s because you’ll still have that part of your identity?”

“I think so.”

“You said you think your depression and mania are all there is to you as a person?” Leo nodded. “Well Leo what’s your favorite food?”

“Pizza. Why?”

“Mm. Do you have a favorite color? Or favorite movie?”

“Blue and Jupiter Jim Seven Galaxies. What does this have to do with psycho-analizing my… everything, basically?”

“Do you have any special interests?”

“Lou Jitsu, Jupiter Jim, Ninjitsu, swordsmen ship. But why? ”

“Would you say all of those are parts of your identity?”

“Yeah, I guess I– Oh. You’re telling me that I have more to my identity than mental illness?” Dr. Sal nodded.

“When there’s something big going on in our life and it’s very apparent it’s all we focus on and we forget we have other important details about our personalities and identities. Especially when it’s a negative aspect. This is a form of Selective Abstraction it’s a type of Cognitive Distortion. Selective Abstraction is when we take a piece of negative information, event, etc. out of context and focus on that instead of the rest of the positive information or events that occurred in the context.”

Leo was finding it difficult to understand and made a face to show it.

“It’s like if you did a project and you get lots of good feedback but someone points out a small mistake and then that mistake is all you can think about instead of all the good things about the project.”

“Oh.”

“I think it might be healthy for you to find positive things happening around you, inside you, or things you like when you find yourself focusing on something negative. I think upping your dose of Risperdal and Lamictal is also a step we should take. It should help stabilize your moods and keep episodes of mania at bay. Remember manic episodes can still happen when under medication and feelings of depression may still arise. 

“I see here that you harmed yourself last night, and considered suicide again?”

“Ah, I-” Leo didn’t have an excuse for that. He might’ve when he was in mania but now he realized that his reasoning wasn’t very solid. “Yeah. I guess I pinched myself, I didn’t realize. I thought that it was dumb that the nurses had to watch me brush my teeth like I was going to kill myself with it. Then I realized I could stick the toothbrush down my throat and choke on it if I wanted. I thought that committing suicide would mean I wouldn’t be here anymore, and then I thought that if the nurses caught me then they’d realize that this place doesn’t help me and they’d let me go. But I know that’s not how it works.” 

“Did you think about committing suicide at any other point during your stay so far?”

“I said that I wished I jumped so I wouldn’t be in this boring place. But Raph told me not to think like that, and I have a lot more potential to get better than some of the others.”

“He’s right. I see a lot of potential in you to recover. Many of the other patients I see I worry they won’t recover, or it will take a long time and lots of effort.”

Leo sat in silence.

“You can get better Leonardo, you just have to try. And I’m glad you’re making friends, having friends here is very important to your mental health.”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Leo thought about his meeting with Dr. Sal as he walked toward the community room. Today's workshop was bracelet making and the movie Barbie and the Diamond Castle was playing on the TV. Don’t ask Leo how he knows it’s that specific movie.

He spotted Raph and Casey making bracelets and talking to another patient sitting between them. It was a short turtle yokai like Leo and Raph. How many turtle yokai are mentally ill? Leo thought jokingly. 

“What’s up amigos ,” Leo said sitting next to Casey. 

“Hey Leo welcome back to society. This is Mikey.”

“Heyyy!” Mikey said cheerfully. He waved before putting more see-through orange beads on his bracelet. Mikey had darker green skin than him and Raph and was a lot shorter too. His head was round and he had orange-yellow spots on his shoulders. His plastron had two colorful stickers on them.

“What’s up! I’m Leo.”

“I like your markings, Leo!”

“Thanks, nice stickers.” The four teens made bracelets in silence before Mikey spoke up again. 

“So you’re new here Leo?”

“Yeah. I’m guessing you’re not, but I haven’t seen you around.”

“Yeahhh I was in my room for a little while.” Mikey chuckled.

Leo wanted to ask why but he knew Mikey was the one that supposedly screamed a few nights ago so he thought it might be a touchy subject. “So Leo what’d you do for fun?”

“Oh- uh. I like swords. I own an Odachi and I have katanas. Well, I did.”

“Awesome! I had nunchucks and a kusari-fundo!”

“Sick!”

“I had a pair of tonfa and sai!” Raph spoke up, “Case had a hockey stick.”

“Awesome! Do you guys like to skateboard?”

“Did it all the time before here baby!” Mikey said, Raph nodded in agreement. Casey just shrugged.

“Okay, what about Jupiter Jim? Have ya ever heard of him?”

“ Have I heard of Jupiter Jim? Uhhh I’m only his biggest fan!” The other teens cheered as they discovered another fan.

“Okay, okay. Opinions on Lou Jitsu?” Casey asked.

“I love Lou Jitsu! I’ve seen all his movies!” another cheer arose from the teens. 

“What about Pizza, Mikey?”

“Only get the best mystic pizza from Run of the Mill!” Casey and Raph nodded in agreement.

“Run of the Mill? Bros my uncle owns and runs the place!”

“ No way?!” The other three shouted which received two nurses shushing them.

“Yeah, I’ll get you all some discounts when we get out of here.” 

“It’s official! Leo, you are now my favorite!”

“Hey! I thought I was your favorite?” Raph asked with a frown.

“Awh Raphie.. it’s discounted Pizza of course he’s my favorite!” Raph frowned but it was clear he wasn’t really hurt.

The entirety of the afternoon Leo got to know Mikey and his other friends better. He learned that Mikey had Bipolar and Psychotic Depression. Mikey had admitted himself into the hospital because he was worried he’d keep hurting himself and others.

Leo couldn’t imagine admitting himself, he was too stubborn to admit he needed help. 

During dinner Mikey noticed Leo staring at Usagi who was sniffing his food suspiciously.

“You interested in Yuichi?”

“He snitched on me, got me put into seclusion”

Casey barked out a laugh. “Yeah because screaming about conspiracies and making a break for the exit won’t get you into seclusion on it’s own!” Casey smacke the table as Raph suppressed a chuckle.

“Whatever. Snitches get stitches.” The others laughed as Leo took a bite of his rice while eyeing the rabbit. Who coincidentally met his eye contact. They eyed eachother before Leo broke it. He could tell the rabbit was still staring.

When it was time for bed Mikey pulled Leo aside before they reached the hallways. 

“What’s up Mike?”

“I’m not blind. I can tell you like Yuichi.”

“Uhhhhh whaaaat….” Leo feigned innocence.

“I won’t get in your way. But heads up, romantic relationships between patients aren’t recommended by the hospital. Sexual relationships are out of the question. I’m just warning you. Be careful.”

“Thanks Mikey.” This kid is good holy shit. Thought the slider as he watched his new friend walk down the hall.

That night Leo dreamed of rabbits and aspirin.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The next few days were boring and uneventful. Leo had two other meetings with his Psychiatrist, he refused to talk about his reasons for suicide and got an increased dosage of his insomnia medication.

The new gang spent the days watching movies on the TV and playing cards. It seemed that routine and boredom had become part of Leo’s life. Of course there were thoughts of suicide and the occosonal patient getting caught self-harming, but that was normal for everyone now. 

“I wonder if I could jump down the elevator shaft?”

“Heh same.”

“Do it pussy.”

“Nah, too much effort. Plus pizza’s coming soon”

“Oh yeah.”

Was the common conversation that would pass between patients. Conversations about depressing and serious topics were no longer serious or intersting. Leo wished something, anything, would happen. Two days later he got his wish.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Mikey was talking about skateboarding as the others listened half intently when the bang of a door being open reached the Community Room.

“Please you have to stay in the wheelchair!”

“I’m already here! I haven’t ran away!”

“It’s procedure—”

“Screw procedure, give me the paperwork I want to be out of here as soon as possible!”

“You don’t need to fill out any paperwork hun. Just wait patiently and we’ll give you a tour. Now what’s your name hun?”

All conversation from there was intelligible to the group. Part of Leo wanted to check out the new arrival but the other part told him it was too much effort.

“Leonardo you’re needed at the front desk.” A nurse said after they came into the community room.

“Ooooooh Leo’s in troubleeeeeee” Casey and Mikey cooed. Leo flipped them off as he walked toward the front.

“What’s up Miss Freya?”

“I need you to give our new patient a tour. We require every patient to give at least one tour while monitored by a nurse. It gives patients a chance to make connections.”

“How come I didn’t have one?”

“You were admitted after lights out.”

“Alright.”

“This is the patient you’ll be giving a tour to.” Miss Freya gestured to a patient begrudgingly sitting in a wheelchair. “You can get up now hun.”

“Finally!” the patient shot up immediatly.

“What’s up, I’m Leo.” He stuck his hand out to which patient just stared at. “Okayyy no hand shakes then.”

“Donatello” answered the patient. He was a yet a nother turtle yokai. Leo was starting to question what was the deal with all the turtles. He was slightly taller than Leo and had a massive forehead that he tried not to laugh at. He had rectangular purple marks on his shoulders and a weird shell.

“Well Donnie , welcome to hell.” The nurse watching them gave him a look. “You enjoying the grippy socks?” Donnie looked down at his own feet before smiling. 

“They’re superbaly fantastic.” Leo chuckled while leading the other turtle down male hall.

“We were just at the front desk, that’s where you’ll get medication and stuff. This is male hall, hope it’s obvious who lives here. We have bathrooms at the end of each hall for showering–” Leo said as he had a nurse open the bathroom door. “There’s a 2 minute check and a 5 minute check.”

“Oh yeah that’s not gross at all. He said without a hint of sarcasm.”

“Chillax, you’ll get used to it. It’s the same down in female hall. And intersex hall is the same too.” The two turtles walked back to the front and toward the community room.

“That’s the seclusions room, try not to be act out or you’ll get put in there. It fucking sucks. And that’s the stimulation room, and I have no idea what it’s for.”

“Stimulation rooms are typically for autistic individuals. It gives them a space to stimulate themselves if under stimulated, or calm down if over stimulated.”

“Uh okayyy… This is the community room. We eat here, do activities, watch TV. Over there is the telephone area where you’ll get or make calls.” Leo realized he’d never been over there himself seeing as no one really called him and he never thought about calling anyone either.

“Interesting… What kind of phones?”

“I don’t know. I think pay phones?”

“Very interesting…” Leo decided to ignore him.

“These are my friends. Casey, Mikey, and Raph.” The table greeted Donnie with a chorus of hellos and whats ups. “Guys this is Donnie, you are cool if I call you that?”

“Be my guest.”

“Well welcome to hell Donnie. Hope you enjoy your stay.” Casey chuckled as Mikey and Raph shook their heads in amusement.

“Where can I find my room?”

“What hall are you staying in?”

“I would assume male hall”

“Follow me then!” Leo announced.

They scoured male hall until they found a white board with Donnie name on it. “Looks like you’re rooming with… Quincy?” Leo knocked on the door before opening it. A human guy with dark skin and curly afro was sitting on the bed to the right.

“Who’re you?”

“I’m Leo, this is Donnie. I think he’s your new roommate.”

“Oh wassup Donnie.”

“Do you snore?”

“What?”

“Do you snore?”

“No?”

“Do you talk in your sleep Quincy?”

“Nope.”

“Are you organized or messy?”

“I don’t have anything to make a mess with.”

“Any night terrors?”

“No…?”

“Why’re you here?”

“Ohhh-kay Donnie I think that’s enough!”

“It’s cool. I have a panic disorder. PTSD too.”

“Hmmm. Possibilty for panic attacks then. Very well. You will suffice as a roomate. Farewell Quincy.”

“See ya.”

Leo looked at Donnie aghast. “What the hell was that?”

“I needed to know if he would be a good roommate. I have specific needs.”

“No shit.” Donnie just rolled his eyes. “Do you wanna sit with me and the guys you met earlier? They’re about to serve lunch, we’re having pizza.”

“Oh I love pizza!”

Chapter Text

Sleep slipped from Leonardo like hands holding water. You hold so much but you watch it slowly seep from your fingers. No matter how tight you squeeze your hands together, no matter how much effort you put to keep it… it’s gone. Your hands are left damp with the evidence of something that could’ve been. 

He didn’t know why. Everything was… middling. He wasn’t particularly suicidal or in the depths of depression. He wasn’t very happy and hopeful either. 

When Leo did get sleep he had weird dreams, and when he woke up from them he had a weird feeling. Like they were important dreams.

The teen thought about this as he laid his head on the table. Leo watched Casey and Raph exchange playing cards in a game of Go-Fish with heavy eyelids.

“You tired Leo?” Raph asked without looking up from his cards.

“I’m such a big ball of energy Raph whatever do you mean?” Leo chuckled as he closed his eyes.

“What’s up with Leo?” He heard Mikey ask.

“Can’t sleep. Probably the insomnia.” Donnie remarked.

“Oh, man. Sorry, Leo.”

The tired slider let out a sound that he was thankful for Mikey's sympathy.

“I wish this place had tea. I think we could all use a cup.” Raph commented.

All the teens hummed in agreement.

“Leo… Come on little man you gotta wake up.” He slowly lifted his head and wiped the drool off of his mouth. He didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep until Raph woke him.

“What…?”

“The nurse says you’ve got a call.”

“A call?” Raph shrugged while Leo got up.

“I shall accompany you!”

“Uhhh why Donnie?”

“Mmm… Moral support…”

“....... I’m too tired for this. Yeah, you can come.”

“Hello?” Leo held the cold plastic to the side of his head and clenched the metal chord tightly in his free hand.

“ Pepino? Is that you?”

“Ah-” there was a short pause. “Uncle Hueso, hi.” Leo tried his best to sound energetic.

“Sorry I did not call sooner. I wasn’t sure if I should.”

“It’s okay Hueso. How are you?”

“I have been better. I’m short on staff so customers are starting to leave. But mostly I am worried about you. Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” Leo chuckled at the repeat. “I’m better than… when it happened. I think I’ll be out soon. Maybe?”

“That is good to hear. I hope you can come back soon and help me here at the restaurant. Some of the staff miss you.” Leo laughed as his hold on the chord tightened. Meanwhile, Donnie was examining the telephone next to him. 

“I’m sorry by the way Hueso.. for worrying you. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll get better in no time!” Leo imagined his Uncle shaking his head as he said, “Do not apologize pepino. I worry about you even when you are fine.”

“Thanks,”

“So what are they feeding you in there, eh?”

“They have pizza for lunch. It’s so greasy, nowhere near as good as yours!”

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Hospital food is always atrocious. When you get out I’m making you the best pizza you’ve ever had.”

“Yesss! I’m starving for some good food!” Leo let out a genuine laugh. The idea of being out of here and eating Uncle Hueso’s fresh pizza, in the warmth of Run of The Mill brought hope into the picture.

“ Pepino I… wanted to ask..”

“What is it?”

“I…” Leo was still in his anticipation. “Never mind, it can wait. Goodbye Leonardo I will call you later. Maybe even visit?”

“Alright bye, Hueso!” The silence that followed the click was heavy.

“He was going to ask about your suicide.”

“What?” Leo looked up to see Donatello had somehow removed the keypad of the pay phone and was moving around wires. “ Donnie what are you doing?! ”

“Silence. I’m just seeing how these phones work. I’ll put it back, don't worry.” Leo huffed and leaned back in his chair.

“How did you know?”

“I’m not much for emotions. Due to my emotionally unavailable bad boy personality. But I can tell he was going to ask about your suicide. He has the same voice as Draxum.”

“Draxum?”

“My parental figure. My Guardian if you will. Although not legally.” Leo decided not to question the last bit.

“Draxum’s asked about your suicide? Wait, you've attempted?”

Donatello paused before he started rearranging the wires. “I have not. However, I’ve come close. And have self-harmed.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Donnie put the keypad back in place and turned around in the chair so he was sitting properly. 

“I assume it’s fair that you know how I ended up here, after all, I know somewhat of your circumstances.” Leo just nodded. “Over our conversations I’ve mentioned that I am a Sociopath. However, I’m also a pyromaniac. I have the compulsive need to set things on fire.”

“So what happened?” 

“I had a rough week. Draxum was upset about something and he can get angry when he’s upset so I avoided him and worked on my own project, but it wasn’t going well. At some point all I could think was, "I should kill myself"... Burning things helps anxiety and thoughts go away so I just started burning paper, and then I burned an old broken project. Safely, I might add, in a small burning chamber. It wasn’t enough so I.. grabbed a lighter and started burning my arm.” Donatello rolled back the left sleeve of his purple hoodie and revealed a burn mark half the length of his forearm by the underside of his elbow. 

The scar was lighter compared to the rest of Donnie. The leathery area of skin put Leo at unease. He shuddered lightly. Leo wondered how he didn’t notice it when Donnie first came in.

“In my lab–” he rolled his sleeve back down. “Draxum had set up an alarm system if I ever tried to harm or kill myself. He’d set one up in my room too, but I disabled that one. I could never find the lab alarm, so I wouldn’t hurt myself in the lab. When the alarm went off it knocked me out of my daze.”

Leo was all too familiar with “the daze”. He’d gone into it many nights when he had hurt himself and when he attempted.

“Draxum came for me immediately. He took care of my burns and I was unaware he was planning to admit me here. When I caught on I fought back, you remember my entrance. Before that, I tried to run away, to no avail.” Donnie gestured to where they were and let out a laugh of dismay.  “But–” The softshell sighed. “That’s just a long way of saying, Draxum asked me why I did it multiple times. He sounded just like your Uncle Hueso.”

The two were bathed in silence as all Leo could do was look at Donnie. He was hugging his knees. “I’m sorry Don.”

“There’s no need for worry Nardo. This psychiatric unit is supposed to improve me for society. I just have to let it take its course.”

“Yeah…” Leo watched the softshell walk away. He wanted to say more but found the words disappeared when they reached his throat.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“Do you think you’re ready to talk about it today Leonardo?” Leo stayed silent. He’d gotten good at this. He’d had multiple psychiatry appointments, a lot more than the others he knew. He wanted to get out of here but they wouldn’t stop pressing. 

“Okay… what do you want to talk about? Any questions?”

“Can I ask about my friends?”

“Depends on the question.”

“Will any of them be out of here soon?”

“Hmmmm. Well, I’m not any of their psychiatrists so I can’t tell you. I couldn’t find out either, we value patient confidentiality.”

“Damn.”

“Why do you enjoy talking about your friends?”

“Who doesn’t? Friends are cool.”

“Do you talk to your friends about your friends?”

“No–” Leo laughed. “We just talk about stuff we like, stuff we hate. Ourselves, normal stuff.”

“You seem to care a lot about them.”

“I mean yeah, they’re like a family, and you should always love family.” Leo traced the lines of his hands with his eyes. 

“Why did you ask if they were going to leave? I’d imagine you’d want to spend time with them not have them leave?”

“Because they have other families, and lives out there. I don’t want to keep them trapped just because I want to spend time with them. They want to re-enter the world as much as I do. I want them to do that.” Leo thought more to himself before speaking up again. “I’d be happier seeing them leave than them being stuck here with me.”

“Mmmm.”

“Your appointments are gonna keep coming you know.”

“ Dios mío! What the hell man?!” Leo smacks Yuichi’s shoulder. “You stalking me?” 

The rabbit leaned off the wall he was resting against, Leo assumed he’d been standing there the entire appointment. “Don’t flatter yourself, my appointment’s next I was just waiting.”

“That’s what they all say…”

“Just listen.”

“Why? You snitched me out cottontail. ” Leo noticed Yuichi’s surprise at the insult. He was winning.

“Because I’ve been here longer than you. And I’ve been here in and out. I know how this works. Do you still not want my advice Kappa? ” So the rabbit had some game.

“Fine, what do you have to say, oh master of the asylum?”

“Don’t call it an asylum–”

“Sure feels like it.”

“You done?”

“Yeah sorry,”

“You’re not gonna get out of here unless you answer whatever question they keep asking you. You can lie about it, unless you actually want to improve then take all the time you need. But I can tell you just want to get out of here. Just lie and they’ll let you out.” Leo shivered as Yuichi leaned in close. “ But you’ll be back within months. ”

Leo looked after Yuichi as he entered the room. What the hell was that? Walking away he felt something in his hoodie pocket. 

Meet me by the phones' before dinner , was written on a small piece of paper. Leo couldn’t remember when Yuichi had slipped this in his pocket. Who exactly was this guy?

⳼⳼⳼⳼

His back was growing sore, Leo was debating on leaving because it didn’t seem like Yuichi was showing up. Leo got up with a huff but was quickly stopped.

“Sit down Kappa, I’m here.” Leo plopped his ass right back down.

“What do you want Yuichi?”

“First what did you do with the note?” Leo took the paper out of his pocket. “Tear it up and throw it away when you have the chance.”

“Why?”

“Just do what I say.”

“I don’t know if I want to.”

“If you want to get out of here then you will.” Leo squinted at the rabbit across from him. He prolonged this stare as he ripped up the paper. “Now pick up a phone and act like you’re on a call. I’ll be doing the same.” Leo rolled his eyes but obliged. Yuichi held down on the switch hook so Leo did the same.

“What is this all about Yuichi?” As Leo talked he noticed the change in his voice as it went through the telephone.

“You want to leave right?”

“As much as anyone.”

“You have three options.” Leo raised a non-existent eyebrow. “You can answer whatever question they keep picking at you for, in your own time and actually improve yourself. You can lie to them and hope they believe it. Or you can stay and help me escape.”

The turtle fumbled with the phone, due to his hands revealing his surprise. 

“The first option isn’t bad, you’d improve somewhat. If this is your first time you’ll be back. Second option, you already know what I think. Third option, you can get out of here with me and maybe a few others, you’d have to lay low for a bit but you’d be out.”

“Yuichi are you insane–” the rabbit looked at Leo. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. He knew he really should put in the effort to get better. It would seem to improve his life dramatically, he’d be able to see Hueso again in a better state. Lying would get him out faster and under the pretense of being legitimate, but if what Yuichi was saying was true he’d be back in no time. Leo knew escaping was wrong and he had a feeling it wouldn’t go well for anyone involved. But the idea of escaping and being free so soon was enticing. He didn’t think he could handle another morning examination or the harrowing routine. God forbid he had a manic episode again, or watch his friends go into any episodes. He wanted to be out of here and enjoy Hueso’s warm Pizza, he wanted to skateboard, to read Jupiter Jim comics and watch Lou Jitsue films. He wanted to get his life back.

“How exactly would we be escaping?” The two teens mirrored smirks and Yuichi began regaling Leo with the plan.

“I’m glad you’re fun and not lame like I thought Yuichi.” The red-eared slider confessed once they’d solidified their plan of escape.

“You thought I was lame? Rude.”

“You snitched on me! I think all tattle tails are lame old rats.”

“I’m a young rabbit.” Yuichi was being completely serious, but Leo laughed anyway.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Leo slept that night but it was no reward. The teen tossed and turned while his mind plagued him with nightmares. He dreamed of all the ways he could’ve taken his own life. He dreamed of running and running toward an unseen exit he knew was there. He dreamed about aspirin that was dripping in gasoline, and lighting purple fires. He had quick flashes of Yuichi’s face and the red of his eyes. It wasn’t until he fell out of bed that he woke up.

Leonardo sat beside his bed in a sweaty mess, using the cold floor to ground him, and tried to bring his breathing levels back to normal. He’d had nightmares before but it’d been so long since one actually shook him up like this. He hoped a nurse didn’t check on him. Leo looked at his feet as he breathed deeply. He felt himself shaking, and it was hard to stop his leg from bouncing. He stared at the space just in front of his feet and his mind raced with nothingness, the silence seemed so loud in his tympana. 

“ Fuck. Just sleep correctly. Can’t you have a normal night? ” He whispered and hit the side of his head. 

The rest of his night was lost in the depths of the turtle's memory, as he zoned out once his head hit the pillow.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The next day Leonardo received many looks from his friends, did he really look that bad?

“Leo, buddy, you okay?” Raph asked laying a large hand on Leo’s shoulder.

“Just a rough night, Raph, I’m okay.” Leo feigned a cheerful tone.

“Nardo you look terrible.”

“Gee, thanks, D.”

“No problem.”

Leo could tell he wasn’t fooling anyone, but he knew they knew it was useless to pry.

“Leo come eat breakfast with me.” The turtle reached Yuichi's table and was met with a look of concern. “I’m no fool Leo, I can tell you didn’t sleep. What’s more. I can tell it was because of a bad dream.”

“What are you, psychic?”

“No I just have bad dreams and I know the look.”

“Well, I’m oka–” The rabbit stared him down with complete disbelief. “I don’t know okay! I had a bad dream and I couldn’t fall asleep after that. I’m used to it.”

“I’m all for faking out therapists but you should get your medication bumped up. Or change it because that shit is not working.”

“I just need one night of good sleep.”

“Don’t we all.”

The two teens spent the rest of breakfast in silence. Yuichi let the turtle rest his head and doze off, making sure no one took advantage of the opportunity. Leo later learned that he had dozed off for two hours and that Yuichi never left his side.

Chapter Text

Over the course of a week, Leo and Yuichi gathered a small group of people who were on board with the escape. The date of escape was two weeks from now. They just had to hold out until then. Shouldn’t be too hard right?

The only issue was the red-eared slider found himself falling for the white rabbit. 

During their time spent planning and hanging out, Leo realized they had a lot in common. He learned Yuichi wasn’t as serious as he often showed. He was fun, wild, and funny like him. He had to admit that he was pretty too. Leo wasn’t much for red but Yuichi’s eyes were different. They were like rubies. Leo loved Yuichi’s top knot, the blue scrunchie holding his ears up didn’t seem like something he would wear and it made Leo want to giggle. He especially adored looking at Yuichi from the side, he looked so serious when by himself. 

“You always look so serious. Why don’t you lighten up?”

“Because people might be watching. Just because I’m tucked away in here doesn’t mean I’m free from stalkers.”

“Says the stalker.”

“I am not!”

“You waited by the door the entire time I was having my appointment. That’s stalker behavior.”

“My appointment was next!”

“Okay, sure…”
“Who’d want to stalk your ass anyway?”

“Excuse me, do you see this face? I’m a face man, people love me!” Yuichi let out a short laugh that brought a smile to Leo’s face.  

“You may have good looks, but your personality is kind of… how should I say… annoying? Barely tolerable.”

“So you think I look good?” the turtle nudged Yuichi with his shoulder.

“Shut up or I’ll snitch on you again.”

Leo let out a dramatic gasp. “Rude!!”

He enjoyed his time with Yuichi, they made eachother laugh. He’d learned a lot of techniques to make sure no one follows you and how to reveal the least amount of information to spies. Leo knew no one would want to spy on him and it probably furthered Yuichi’s Paranoid Disorder but he didn’t mind. They poked fun at each other's issues. They barely talked about the seriousness of their personal situations, however, and Leo wanted to know more about Yuichi. He loved his fun side but he had the urge to know the things that troubled the rabbit and he wanted to tell the rabbit what troubled him. Fuck, Leo was definitely crazy.

Mikey’s words rang throughout Leo's mind anytime he caught himself staring at Yuichi for too long. “romantic relationships between patients aren’t recommended by the hospital… I’m just warning you. Be careful.”

Maybe he could get away with it. He’s managed to hide his issues for so long what was a crush?

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“You want to what? ”

Leonardo caved in and confessed three days before the escape.

“Leo, why would you do this right before we’re escaping?”

“Becauseee… I’m mentally ill?” The face that Leo got from the rabbit told him that his excuse was not working. 

Leo had spent a lot of time in Yuichi’s room but somehow he was just noticing all the details. The unique smell was like all the other rooms but a hint of eucalyptus, he wondered where Yuichi got something eucalyptus scented. Patches of new paint on the wall around Yuichi's bed. The new paint didn’t quite match the older layer. Why it needed to be repainted Leo didn’t know. The red-eared slider could feel how cold the floor was through his grippy socks, it made him shift his stance slightly. 

He waited for Yuichi’s answer, the rabbit was lying on his bed, a notebook resting on his thighs. Yuichi let out a long exhausted sigh and pinched the bridge between his eyes. “Leo you’re awesome, but I have too much shit to worry and focus on.”

“So that’s a no?”

“For now, yes, it’s a no.”

“For now?” 

Before Leo got his response Donnie's head popped in the doorway. “Leo it’s lunch, and Yuichi I guess.”

“Thanks D,”

Silence passed over the two teens as they mulled over what had just occurred.

“Let me know when you have a definite answer cottontail. I’ll see you.”

“You confessed didn’t you?” Mikey asked as they all poked at the dry, heavily unseasoned pieces of chicken.

“What?” All chicken poking from their table stopped.

“Confessed? Leonardo Hamato do you like someone here~?” Raph waved his fork at the embarrassed turtle.

“Pshh no, what makes you say that?”

Silence.

“It was Yuichi.”

“ Mikey! ”

“ Oooooooooooooooh~ ” cooed the table.

“What did he say?” Donnie asked, more like gathering data.

“It’s a stalemate. He wants to wait until after the escape to answer.” Leo shoved a piece of chicken into his mouth and chewed with annoyance.

“I’m still surprised Casey’s the only one who wants to. I for sure thought you’d want to do it, Donnie.”

The softshell shrugged, “This place has… grown.. on me.”

“Nice Donnie, welcome to the club!” Raph lightly patted Donnie’s shell.

“Yeah, you just have to make sure Miguel doesn’t tattle.”

“I got this… it’s fineeee.”

“Mikey if I find out you snitched I will come back just to give you hell.”

“I won't! Mmmaybe…”

“Mikey.”

“ I’ll try!! You know for someone with Bipolar it’s a miracle I’m honest. You should all be very grateful!” The youngest huffed and finished off his chicken. “Ugh- this really needs some seasoning.”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

One day left. Just one day. One long endless day of torture. Leo wanted so badly to just bolt out of here. He could tell the nurses noticed he was more jittery than his average. Apparently, he was the only one. Everyone else looked completely fine. 

“Leo you’re gonna sell us out,” Yuichi whispered as they folded origami underneath one of the windows.

“I know!! I know.”

“Just breathe.”

“What?”

“Breathe, it helps honestly. If I’ve learned anything from stupid therapy here is that breathing helps.”

“Yeah, for you maybe. I don’t have air to breathe.”

“Here give me your hand,” Yuichi stopped folding his paper piano and held a hand out to Leo like asking for a dance. Leo obliged.

His fingers were soft, it made his nerves tingle. 

Leo watched and felt as Yuichi pressed his thumb into the middle of Leo’s palm. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh,” 

They stayed in this position for about a minute before Yuichi said, “If it hurts let me know,” then the rabbit pulled Leo’s hand backward until his wrist was at a 90-degree angle. It didn’t hurt.

Yuichi let Leo’s hand fall back into proper place. Then tenderly took Leo’s hand again. He used his thumb to stroke the entirety of Leo’s palm. Leo didn’t know what exactly this was, but it made him calm. It was as close as the turtle would get to Yuichi softly tracing the creases and scars on his hands.

Yuichi stopped sooner than Leo would’ve liked and began messaging the top of the slider's wrist in small circular motions. Now Leo was just getting horny, luckily, or maybe unluckily for him, Yuichi stopped 30 seconds later and dropped Leo’s hand.

“What was that about?”

“I’ll tell you once you let me do it to your other hand.”

“Is this some kind of kink?” Leo joked as Yuichi picked up his other hand.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Will that change your answer?”

Cottontail just smiled and began doing the same message on Leo’s other hand. Leo liked it, it was a tender moment that had some undertones of homoeroticism. The turtle was glad he didn’t have a dick or he’d most likely have a boner. Although he wasn’t hiding his feelings very well anyway so he might as well have one.

“That was a Shiatsu technique to help anxiety, from Japan.”

“Wow fancy, can’t I do them by myself though?”

“Yeah I just wanted to touch your hand I guess. Because I’m so in love with you!!” The rabbit swooned, dramatically leaning against Leo’s shoulder.

“Haha. You’re soooo funny,”

“What I was just copying you! You sure seemed to react to all that as if it was a kink kappa.” Leo’s face almost turned as red as his markings. The white rabbit laughed loud and bright which made Leo blush more.

“It did make me calmer though. Thanks Cottontail.”

“No problem. Can’t have you having an anxiety attack while we’re escaping now can we?” 

⳼⳼⳼⳼

After a long excruciating day, the time for escape arrived. It was 2 AM and Leo was wide awake. Not that that was a rare occurrence. Any minute and the— a loud piercing shriek broke the silence of the unit, that an italicized, all-caps, “Ahhhh” didn’t quite do the honors of depicting.

Leo crept out of his bed looked through his window and saw a handful of nurses run down the hall toward the shriek. Not enough though.

The screaming continued and a couple of patients, even ones not part of the escape, stepped out of their rooms. 

“What the hell is going on?!” Yuichi shouted. “I’m tryna sleep!” That was the cue for their distraction to take it up a notch. And take it up a notch he did, their distraction screamed and cussed, and by the sound of it threw a punch or two.

“Back up! Room M204! Casey Jr’s Room! NOW!! Stop hitting!”

Leo chuckled, only Casey would volunteer for a chance to sock some nurses. Speaking of, all the other nurses ran towards the room to help. 

Vivi, a purple deer yokai, with large deer ears made her way to the elevator and pressed the button. Hopefully, Casey’s fake episode was enough to cover the sound. Once it was clear and the elevator was about to open Yuichi made the call.

“Man, I’m done with this shit!” The rabbit bolted like well- a rabbit. And the ding of the elevator arriving triggered the others to run. 

“ Hey!! STOP!! Code Green! Someone call a code green!” Shouted a nurse who started chasing after the escaped patients.

“But they’re psych patients! Isn’t that code Grey?!”

“JUST CALL GREEN!! ”

Leo and other patients cackled as the nurses panicked and ran toward the elevator. As the doors slid to a close Leo caught a glimpse of Casey Junior leaping through his door and sprinting down the hall. Leo hoped he made it down the stairs.

“A shit ton of doctors and nurses, security too will be on our asses so either high tail it out of here or act as normal as possible and blend into the crowd!” Yuichi announced.

“Fuck, I’m getting nervous man! I shouldn’t have done this!!”

“Hey! No!” Yuichi made his way to Sammy, the blue duck yokai who was now hyperventilating. “You cannot get nervous now! And if you are, speed run it okay? You want out of here? Calm the fuck down, Sammy!”

“Okay okay! Okay…” Sammy took some deep shuddering breaths, although her breathing was still unstable she appeared calmer.

“We’re about to reach the first floor.” someone announced.

When the elevator landed the patients could hear a commotion outside, and when the door opened some of them added to the commotion. Sprinting out of the elevator. Some tried to swerve out of people's way while others pushed down patients and visitors. Leo and Yuichi took the nonchalant approach, strolling out and trying to look like another worried visitor.

“We’re almost there, just keep cool,” Yuichi said.

“Hey, what’s going on?!” Leo turned to a doctor he didn’t recognize. Fake worry plastered all over his face.

“Don’t worry sir, some patients from our Psych Unit escaped, just stay calm and stay safe.” assured the doctor who quickly ran away once their explanation was over.

“Damn Kappa, nice acting~” Yuichi bumped Leo with his hip as they kept walking. The slider shrugged with a smile. 

“ Hey!! ” The two teens turned to find a security guard who was often in their unit. 

“Shit run!!” Yuichi didn’t even finish the entire sentence before both of them were sprinting toward the entrance. Leo dodged patients and visitors, he swiveled from cots and around doctors and nurses. It’d been a while since Leo had run, he was running out of breath faster than he would’ve liked.

In the blink of an eye, Yuichi switched direction, and Leo pivoted just in time to follow. They started running down a random hall and Leo was thoroughly confused.

“What are we doing?!”

“Just shut up and follow me!”

“What’s up, bros!”

Leo turned to the voice that was fast approaching. It was Casey.

“Casey my man!”

“I said shut up!” shouted Yuichi.

Leo and the black-haired teen smiled at eachother and picked up the speed. Yuichi turned another corner at the end of the hall and through a faded blue door. They were stairs.

“More stairs?! Are you shitting me?!” Casey groaned and began running down the flights. Leo followed suit. 

After jumping every last 5 steps and sharp turns they made it out into the back parking lot. It seemed bright despite it being cloudy and the middle of the night. The teens were all out of breath and resting on their knees. Leo tried to get his breathing back, his lungs ached and his sternum shook with every inhale. Each breath was sharp and painful, but it still felt so good to breathe in the crisp cold air. Leo stood up and straight and stretched his back. As he looked at the sky which seemed to be made entirely of thick black clouds he smiled.

“We did it!” He turned to the two other teens. “Holy shit we did it!”

“Hell yeah, we did!” Casey cheered. “I’ll see you dudes around! I’m out of this shit! Woo!! ” Leo watched as his human friend ran in the direction of the gas station that was a few blocks away.

“We did it…” Leo repeated staring at where Casey was.

“Glad you didn’t give us away Kappa.” Yuichi came up behind Leo and laid an elbow on the turtle's shoulder. 

“What do we do now?” asked the slider.

“Hmmmm. Go on a date? I know a good pizza joint around here.”

“Yes I’m starving– wait what?”

“What you don’t want a date?”

Leo just stared at the white rabbit illuminated by the dim street lamps and New York lights.

“Hell yeah, I want one! But why would you want an ordinary pizza joint? Were heading to Run of The Mill cottontail!

“Well, we better hurry before security finds us over here.”

“Ohhh yeah!” Leo cheered as he grasped Yuichi’s hand and dragged him away from the psychiatric unit and shouted, “Sayonara you piece of shit place!” and the two laughed like the mentally ill teens they were. 

They were finally free. 

At least they hoped.

Chapter Text

“How much further is this Run of The Mill place?”

“First of all! Run of The Mill is not just ‘someplace’, secondly it’s right around this corner!” Leo could tell Yuichi seemed disappointed upon seeing just a dark ally with a graffitied wall.

“Yes lead a delusional paranoid teen into a shady ally. Please be my guest!” Leo rolled his eyes before he showed Yuichi the true Run of The Mill magic. “Ahem, I- I stand corrected, please lead the way.”

“Heeello Run of The Mill! Your favorite turtle has arrived!” Leo announced as he stepped through the wall with Yuichi close behind. The heat of the restaurant hit him instantly. It was like nostalgia was embracing him in a hug. The smell was familiar and comforting. The scent of flour and pizzas fresh out of the oven, wood burning, an undertone of musk that didn’t bother nose, Leo breathed in all in. His tympana welcomed the sound of the sizzling vegetables and meats, of utensils clashing together, and the commotion of staff and patients. All these senses were embedded into the memories of this place. The years he spent helping knead dough, the blast of heat from the brick ovens as he watched the pizzas cook. All the people who worked and frequented the restaurant, he treasured them all. How the turtle missed this. How he forgot and underappreciated it. Leonardo was glad to be back.

“Ayyy Leonardo! Where’ve you been?” 

“Just a vacation Vince!” He spoke as if he wasn’t just reminiscing about his love for Run of The Mill.

“Well have a seat and I’ll take your order!” Leo dramatically ushered Yuichi to sit at a table for two. He giggled before saying, “Why thank you, Kappa.”

“What can I get for our returning customer and his… date?”

“Yup, you know it! Vince this is Yuichi Usagi, Yuichi this is Vince! He’s our newest waiter but it’s like he’s been here for years.”

“You flatter me, Leo. It’s nice to meet you Yuichi, what can I get you two?”

“What do you recommend Leo?” The turtle tried to not freak at the way Yuichi’s ears flopped when he cocked his head to the side.

“Pineapple Pizza, always!”

“Okay, oh shit Meat Lovers!” Yuichi pointed at the menu in his hand.

“So one Hawaiin and one Meat Lovers for the two… lovers~”

“Vince that was terrible, go get us our pizza!” Leo chuckled while Yuichi shook his head in amusement. As the waiter left Leo’s laughter settled and his eyes gazed back to the rabbit who seemed… nervous. Was this date not going as he thought it was? Is he uncomfortable? “Yuichi what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just been a while since I’ve been back out so it’s... weird,” Yuichi shifted in his seat before staring in the direction Vince left. His nose scrunched up, too brisk for Leo to catch. 

“Don’t worry you’ll probably get used to it in no time!”

“Mhmm..”

Leo’s gut was telling him this date wasn’t going in the direction he planned it to go in. His and Yuichi’s first moments out of the psych ward and it was going poorly. Yuichi didn’t seem to be fond of any of this, he had yet to see Hueso, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to happen. It’s probably just anxiety… Thought the slider. Still, he couldn’t help but bounce his leg and try to distract himself from the situation.

“One Hawaiian and one Meat Lovers!” Vince declared, laying down both pizzas. Once they voiced their thanks the waiter said, “No problem! Can I get you two anything else?”

“Nope. We’re good!” Yuichi said, rather quickly.

“Okay, enjoy your meal! Welcome back, Leo!” Leo grabbed a large slice of Hawaiian Pizza and his mouth watered just at the sight of the stringy cheese hanging off the sides. It’d been forever since Leo had quality pizza. He sighed at the taste of the warm fresh pizza. Oh, sweet pizza supreme in the sky this was the best pizza he’d ever had!

“You getting horny from pizza Leonardo?” Yuichi joked as he took a bite of his Meat Lovers. “Oh shit…” Yuichi couldn’t stop a small moan from leaving his lips.

“Who’s pizza horny now?” Leo joked as he took another bite.

As the date progressed things appeared to lighten up. It turned out to just be anxiety that gave Leo his doubts. The two had laughed and joked as per usual, the pizza’s already half finished. Their glasses were left with half-melted ice and sips of watered-down soda at the bottom. “Thanks for this date Yuichi… it’s been a while since I’ve been on one.”

“Really? How long?”

“Almost two years, I know lame right?”

“No Leo… it’s super lame. Two years?!”

“Hey, I was a depressed angsty teen who couldn’t sleep! It was too much effort to go out and seek connections…” He stirred the bits of half-melted ice in his cup with a straw.

“Hey I get it, I was just joking. I don’t trust people easily. It’s a miracle I’m even on a date at all.”

“Because of your Paranoid Personality Disorder?”

“My what?”

“Casey said you had Paranoid Personality Disorder?” Leo felt his face get hot as Yuichi laughed at him.

“Casey doesn’t know shit about me! I have Mixed Delusional Personality Disorder, which can derive from paranoia but it’s not the same thing.”

“Really?”

“What? You think I’m lying?”

“No! I’m just surprised!”

“Yeah… well some people think I have PPD because I’m constantly paranoid, but that’s because the mixed part of my DPD is Persecutory. I think that people are following me or trying to hurt me and people I know.”

“Oh, what’s the other part?”

“Jealous.” The rabbit didn’t give further explanation.

“Okay…? So you get jealous easily? Or like jealousy is increased?” Leo was put off by Yuichi expressing annoyance at his question “Sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if y–”

“Why’re you being so passive-aggressive? You were the one that confessed in the first place!”

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t want to push. You okay cottontail?”

“I’m fine, you were being hostile.” Yuichi took an angry bite of pizza.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I guess we’re all on edge, we did just escape like two hours ago.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Something about Yuichi's demeanor told Leo something else was going on. Uncomfortable silence stretched between the two and even to the nearest tables it seemed. Other customers were eyeing the teens. “I want to get out of here. People are staring and it’s making me uncomfortable.”

“Okay, we’ll leave. Vince! Check please!”

“I’ll be outside,” Leo said nothing while his date stalked toward the exit.

“Don’t worry Leo it’s on the house, take it as a welcome back present!”

“Thanks, Vince! You’re the man! Tell Uncle Hueso I was here! I didn’t see him today,” Leo jogged to Yuichi who was standing by the exit. “I thought you were waiting outside?”

“I…” Yuichi glared at Vince cleaning up their table before facing Leo, “I don’t know how to open it.”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Leo could hear the annoyance in Yuichi’s voice when he asked where they were going. He hoped his date didn’t turn out to be one of those dicks who only revealed their douchiness once they started relationships. Sure Yuichi was mentally ill, but so was he, and Leo had the common courtesy to be respectful. Leo took a deep breath. He didn’t like getting upset. It didn’t come naturally to the turtle. Well besides the mania.

“I don’t know. I thought we’d just walk around and see what the shops have y’know?”

“I have an apartment we can go to. There’d be fewer people looking for us anyway,”

“Let’s go there then!” Leo tried his best to seem cheerful and unaffected by Yuichi’s… everything. But his possible boyfriend's sighs, side eyes, and detachment gave Leo a bad taste in his mouth.

It wasn’t a far walk to the upset teen’s apartment. It was small but nice, at least on the outside. Inside, Yuichi’s living room only had a small flat-screen TV resting on the box it came from and a three-person couch in front of it. The kitchen appeared empty, with nothing occupying the counters except a toaster and a tea kettle. A short Japanese-style table was next to the kitchen, and standard bed pillows were underneath each side. However, the place was clean, no trash on the floor or stained walls. There was dust from Yuichi's absence but it was clean. 

“Bathroom is the last door on the right. I know it’s not much. I have a bunch of boxes in another room. I wasn’t able to unpack much because of going to the psych ward so often.”

“It’s fine. So what’re we gonna do cottontail?” Leo could tell Yuichi’s smile was forced, at least somewhat. 

“We could sit on the balcony?”

“Sure, sounds fun!”

The balcony was connected to the living room, it was small and only two tiny potted plants occupied the balcony. Both bonsai and they were a considerable way towards dehydration. “My bonsai! Shit!” Yuichi ran back inside and returned swiftly with a glass of water and a spray bottle. The rabbit poured the water on both plants and sprayed them each twice. Once he placed down the spray bottle and the glass with a clink Yuichi joined Leo on the floor. Their legs stuck through the thin metal bars and dangled over the side of the balcony.

“I like your apartment.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for me.” 

“I’m not sorry for you. Why’re you so upset Yuichi?”

“I know I have delusions. But that doesn’t make them seem any less real. It took me a long time to accept that I had delusions and I’m still convinced many of my delusions are real. I don’t want to have any delusions about you. Because I'll be convinced they're real.” Leo was surprised by this answer. “I can sometimes convince myself out of delusions, although it’s really fucking hard. I don’t get into relationships because of the chance that I’ll damage them with my delusions. My other type of delusion is Jealous–” Yuichi took a breath. “Which means I believe that my partners are cheating or unfaithful to me and the relationship.”

“Oh. Yuichi I’d never–”

“I know! I know…” Leo could tell the rabbit was lying, even to himself. “But I don’t want to. I like you Leo, but I’ll start thinking that you’re cheating whenever you’re late, or when you seem off. I don’t want to do that to you. And I don’t want to do that to myself either.”

Leo thought for a long moment. He stared at the dark horizon lit by the shining lights of New York buildings. The sounds of the night, the passing cars, far away sirens, people talking and bustling. Leo found these things grounding.

“We can work through it, cottontail. I’ll learn how to deal with and manage your delusions. I don’t want you to be lonely because people don’t want to understand your issues, or because you’ll isolate yourself so you don’t hurt others. I know what that’s like. Maybe the fact that I can relate will make it easier. Don’t push me away or reject my chances because you’re worried about hurting me. I’ve already tried to off myself anyway, what more could you do?” Leo nudged the rabbit slightly. Hoping his little joke would help diffuse the situation.

“You’re sure? 100% positive?”

“I swear on the pizza supreme in the sky.” Yuichi threw his head back as he laughed, his mouth open wide and his eyes squeezed shut. It was a beautiful site to see the rabbit truly laugh.

“Okay Kappa… I’ll give this shit a try again.” Leo welcomed Yuichis fingers as they tried to intertwine themselves with his. Furry white and scaly green. What a perfectly imperfect match. They held hands and just stared at the night horizon. Their thighs were getting prickly from sitting in the same positions for so long but it was a comforting feeling.

“Leo I’ll do the same for you. Learn how to deal with and manage your mania and everything else.”

“Thanks, cottontail.”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The newly official teens now reside in Yuichi’s bedroom, lying on a twin-sized mattress. Laying was putting it lightly. In fact, they weren’t even laying down. Leo had Yuichi pinned against the wall. It’d been a long time since Leo had done anything with anyone but judging by the soft moans coming from the rabbit it seemed he wasn’t as bad as he thought.

He often fantasized about romantic and sexual moments like these. What would he feel like and what sounds would he make? What would Yuichi taste like? Well, he tasted like nothing. Not like mint, not like cherry, not even like the meat lovers pizza. But Leo found it didn’t ruin anything for him. He welcomed the taste of nothingness. He licked it off the rabbit's tongue, and Yuichi did the same.

Leo kissed the boy underneath him as he slid his hands up Leo’s hoodie. The rabbit's fingers were cold despite the fur as they trailed Leo's plastron. Gradually tracing the edges and bumps. First nothing but smooth space, the tips of his fingers trailed the edges on the side then a quick dip. Yuichi stopped to trace the shape with his middle and ring finger. It was arched and pointed, almost like half an arrow. The slider's heart spiked when Yuichi’s hand took a detour to the side of his plastron, between where it and his shell met. It was fleeting but Leo felt it. Yuichi resumed and Leo’s breath hitched once he reached just underneath what could be considered his breasts. First, he felt Yuichi’s soft fingers trail the crevice then he felt the rabbit splay his hands over his chest, feeling up until he reached the top. Leo let out a sound between a grunt and a moan. Yuichi slid his fingers along the top of his plastron, then back down to the arrow. It felt good to be touched. 

This all happened while Leo wrapped his arms around him, holding Yuichi’s lower back, and pulled him closer. 

“Don’t pull me closer–” Yuichi said through kisses, “Push me against the wall.” The rabbit gasped when his demand was met immediately. Leo made him gasp again when he started kissing his neck. Yuichi’s neck was warm against his lips. He started just beneath the jaw and made his way down to the rabbit's collarbone, and back up again. The light moans escaping from Yuichi encouraged him. Soon they weren’t even kisses, Leo knew he’d leave hickeys, and the thought only made him harder. Leo guessed he should say wetter considering he didn’t have— “Wait stop.”

“What?” The two teens pulled away from each other, panting and full of energy. Yuichi’s hands still rested inside Leo’s hoodie, lightly touching just below his “breasts”.

“How far are we going?” Leo asked.

“How far do you want to go?”

“Nothing past this.”

“Are you okay Leo?”

“I…” Leo was finding it difficult to catch his breath. He was grateful that Yuichi was being patient as Leo sat there, sitting in his lap. His crotch inches away from Yuichi’s. The thought was exhilarating but also frightening. It made his stomach drop.  “I don’t want to do this anymore…” Leo tenderly took the rabbit's hands and moved them from out of his hoodie.

“That's… fine. Are you okay?”

“It’s the dysphoria.”

“Oh. You have that?”

“Yeah. It’s stupid because I'm a freaking turtle, I don’t really have many defining sex characteristics. But it’s still there.”

“What triggered it?”

“The thought of giving you hickeys.”

“What?!”

“Not like that! It got me excited, it got me “hard” but I realized I can’t get hard. And it just spiraled into more thoughts. The dysphoria on top of everything that just happened, I got fucking scared.” By this time they were lying next to each other, both heads on the one pillow. “It’s so stupid,”

“No, it’s not. Having to stop because you’re uncomfortable? That’s the opposite of stupid. Stupid would be toughing it out and hurting yourself emotionally.”

“You’re not mad?” Leo’s question was more of surprise than self-pity.

“I’m annoyed I won’t have as many hickeys as I thought you’d give me. But ultimately who cares? They’re hickeys, we can give each other more later.”

Leo smiled, he had forgotten how forgiving people can be. That people actually care.

“Are you fine with just kissing?” Yuichis asked. Leo turned his head and was met with the sight of Yuichi’s, their faces now only an inch apart. Leo scanned his face. The swooping tuft of hair, the bright red markings right underneath his dark red eyes. The slit in his right eyebrow. Leo could see each individual strand of fur despite the darkness.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” It took a moment for them to kiss again. It was slow, and soft this time. Although it often wasn’t what either of them preferred, it was perfect for this moment.

“Can I put my hand here?” Yuichi asked, his hand hovering over Leo’s waist.

“Yeah.” Leo welcomed the touch and returned it by leaning in closer and grabbing his soft face. Leo could imagine better ways to spend this time, but he wouldn’t have this happening any other way. Yuichi laughed when Leonardo told him this.

“That’s cliche as shit,”

“Shut the fuck up,”

“You said it, not m–” Leo kissed underneath the rabbit's jaw which surprised Yuichi.

“I said shut up,” Leo smiled.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Leo woke up with a groan. His back hurt from sleeping on an unfamiliar mattress. He maneuvered his way out of the rabbit's arms. They fell asleep cuddling. He sat up and examined the room he had slept in. Despite the thin rays of light peeking from the blinds, the room was dim. A two-shelved bookshelf was next to the mattress, and a lamp sat on top of it. A closet sporting a curtain instead of a door was across from where he and Yuichi rested. The curtain was blue.

Leo stared at the blank wall in front of him before he got up for the bathroom. He looked back at the rabbit sleeping soundly and spotted something. Resting above the mattress was a sheathed katana. Leo wanted to ask about it but he was in desperate need of a piss. 

As Leo made his way through the faintly lit hallway he glanced at the other rooms. All of them were either empty or closed. 

Leo reached the bathroom and didn’t bother to turn on the light and instead left the door open a crack. A cup holding toothpaste and a toothbrush sat next to the sink along with a bar of half-used soap. The shower contained an array of products in a plastic basket hanging from the shower head. No shower curtain, Leo assessed this was because of his delusions of being followed and harmed.

Leo finished his business and washed his hands. He noticed the soap smelled like cherry almond. 

“Shit where’s a towel?” Leo stood in the dark bathroom with wet hands, squinting for a towel of some kind. He realized that the mirror was openable. He opened it carefully and his eyes fell on something lit by the spotlight from the crack in the door.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Yuichi was half asleep when he felt Leo come out from under his arms. He heard the turtle sit beside him for some time before getting out of bed and leaving the room. He listened intently until he heard the bathroom door open. Yuichi sighed before falling back into slumber.

A gasp arose from Yuichi when he awoke. He sat up and immediately realized that Leo was not in bed or anywhere in the room. How long had he been asleep?

“Leo?” Yuichi crept out of his room and turned the hallway light on. The bathroom door was slightly open, meaning he was no longer in there. “Leo where are you?” he called. With quiet steps, he reached the empty living room. He checked the balcony, nothing there either except his dying Bonsais. Kitchen, empty along with the dining room. Yuichi stepped out of his apartment. He didn’t care how ridiculous he looked barefoot in nothing but sport shorts and his ears out of a top-knot. He scanned the floor before rushing back inside.

That turtle was up to something. Did he run away? Where was he running off too? Who else was there for Leo to run to? Vince? Yuichi thought as he opened the door to the laundry room. Casey? He opened the second bedroom.

No, it has to be Vince. They were all buddy-buddy at the restaurant. He opened the last bedroom, full of boxes of the things he’s yet to unpack.

“I swear he better not be–” Yuichi’s sentence was cut short when he opened the bathroom door and found Leo leaning against the bathtub. “There you are! What the hell are you doing?!” Only when the turtle didn’t answer did he realize Leo was clearly in distress. “Leo, are you okay?” Yuichi took a step into the bathroom. The tiled floor chilled his feet.

Leo’s knees were pressed against the arms he was hugging his plastron with. His breath was shallow and his eyes were fixated on the space in front of his feet. 

“Leo, what’s wrong?” Yuichi inched closer and examined his bathroom for a clue as to what was happening. He spotted something by the sink. It was a razor blade. Yuichi’s eyes trailed to his mirror, it was wide open, and a tiny box rested on the center shelf between his old medications. The tiny box was open, and Yuichi knew that three other razors resided in the box.

“Shit. Leo, Leo are you okay?” The rabbit was in front of him immediately. “Leo show me your wrists.” Leo had no response. “Leo I’m sorry, I forgot I had those in there. I’ll take them away okay? But you need to tell me if you’re okay.” Strained silence filled the space between them before Yuichi settled next to Leo. Not even a minute later the turtle turned to him.

“You haven’t been hurting yourself have you?”

“What? Leo I’ve been with you the entire time, I’m okay. But what about you? Have you been cutting yourself?”

“No…” Yuichi took hold of Leo’s hands and pulled up his hoodie sleeves. Nothing but old scars lived on his green skin.

“What about your legs?” Leo stretched them out. Yuichi looked at them before he decided there were no recent cuts. “Then what happened?”

“It triggered something. I panicked when I saw the box and I decided to take one. I thought about using it. My hands–” Yuichi glanced at the turtle's hands at the same time Leo did. “They really felt the impulse. I wanted to cut myself real bad-" his insides churned at Leo's sour chuckle. "I’ve done it so many times, it was like second fucking nature. Obviously, I didn’t do anything. I dropped the razor and I guess I shut down.”

“I’m sorry Leo. I forgot I had those in there. I’ll take them away-"

“Throw them away.”

“What?”

“Don’t just take them away. Throw them away. Get rid of them permanently. Please.”

“... Okay.”

“Thank you… Now! I think it’s time to have some breakfast!” Leo bounced up and exited toward the kitchen in a hurry. As if leaving the bathroom would simultaneously leave behind his problems. Yuichi rose from the floor slowly and put the razor back in its place. Holding the tiny cardboard box in his hands, he heavily debated with himself.

Finally, Yuichi departed from the bathroom, and hidden behind the extra face wash and toilet paper, the razors sat in the cupboard underneath the sink.

Chapter Text

“What are we thinking for breakfast?” Leo asks as he opens cabinets looking for salvageable ingredients and food. Yuichi stands by the counter smiling smugly.

“Do you even know how to cook Kappa?”

“I’ve helped my uncle make pizzas, I practically lived in that restaurant. I’m basically a professional.” Leo smiled at the contents of the cabinet when he heard Yuichi snort.

“There’s not much, and some stuff is probably expired.” 

“I think you have enough to make pancakes!” Leo takes out the ingredients. “Where are your pans?”

“Underneath the oven.” Leo pulled on a drawer under the oven with a struggle and took out a pan. 

“You ever think about the fact that Rapunzel from Tangled used a cast iron skillet as a weapon?” he started speaking as he looked at the fridge.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, that shit’s heavy y’know, she was carrying around a heavy ass pan, and hitting people with it. That shit could knock you out even without putting all your force into it!”

Yuichi laughed. “How often do you think about that?”

“Every fucking day man.” Leo turns and makes eye contact with his beloved bunny boy. “Every. Fucking. Day.” 

“ Pshhhh! ” Yuichi says and walks into the kitchen to watch Leo. He looks at the ingredients laid before him surrounding a large bowl for some time before the rabbit speaks up. “Do you even know how to make pancakes?”

“No. But that’s what the internet is for!” Leo shoves his hand into his sweatshirt pocket and it’s then that he’s hit with the realization. “Our phones are still at the ward. Damn it!!”

“I think I have a cookbook packed away in the boxes.”

“To the boxes we go!”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“How’re the pancakes going my professional chef?” he hears Yuichi ask from the table.

“Great obviously. Totally fine.” Leo says as he realizes he’s put way too much vanilla extract in the batter. “Hey hypothetically… if you put too much vanilla extract how would you cancel it out?” 

“I don’t know, flour maybe?” He can hear Yuichi chuckle as he turns a page of a book.

“Good thinking.  More flour!! ” Leo commands himself and earns a giggle from his new boyfriend.

“Leo I can smell something burning.” Yuichi finally decides to look up from his book to find Leo struggling to unstick a severely burned pancake from the pan.

“What are you talking about ‘Sagi, nothings burning!” He says and hears quiet footsteps approaching. Finally, Leo gets the pancake to release. He places the charred pancake on top of a stack made of half-baked and burnt pancakes. He pours more batter and feels two hands wrap around his waist and a chin rest on his shoulder. Leo likes the feeling of Yuichis soft fur lightly brushing his face.

“Did you forget to butter the pan that time?”

“I totally didn’t.”

“Leo no offense but that’s a pitiful batch of pancakes. Look at it. It’s depressed and wants to be put out of its misery.”

“We should admit it to the psych ward. I’ve noticed some self-injurious behavior.” 

“Oh dear, I think we should.” Yuichi joked back. “Now the one your making looks like a dick… one I would not like to have. Why don’t we just order some from the McDonalds across the street?”

“Order dicks from McDonalds? They have that?” Yuichi erupted into guffaws, it was loud in Leo’s tympana.

“LEO–” he couldn’t even complete his sentence.

Leo looks at the sad penis pancake with a sigh and turns off the oven and Yuichi continues to howl with laughter.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The McDonald's across the street wasn’t too crowded, but enough for Leo to get nervous. He didn’t know why he was nervous. Run of the Mill was more packed than this and he thrived at Run of the Mill. Leo so badly wished he could put music on.

“Two orders of pancakes please, a medium orange juice, and– what drink do you want Leo?”

“Orange juice too,” he said still looking around at the new environment.

“Another medium orange juice.”

“Leo?” two snapping fingers appeared in front of Leo’s face.

“Oh- sorry, what?”

“They’ve got our order, let’s go wait.” the teens sat at a nearby round table, one that looked out the window at the now busy street in the daylight. Personally, Leo preferred McDonald's at night. The vibe was just different, better.

“The pancakes have arrived!” Yuichi cheers when he returns to the table. He plops down a tray full of two to-go boxes that held pancakes, and two cups of orange juice.

“Ohhh yeah!” Leo opens his box and welcomes the smell of fresh pancakes.

“I fucking love McDonalds pancakes. Honestly so underrated!” Yuichi comments.

“Amen.” While the two ate they took part in witty banter and making fun of or complimenting the people who passed by the window. Was Leo going to pretend that the plastic knife in his hand didn’t influence intrusive thoughts, or that he wondered, even hoped that a car would veer off and crash into where he was sitting? Yes, he was. However, the turtle couldn’t deny that the anxiety and thought of “Everyone in here is watching and judging, at this point, if you ever want them to stop you should just die.” was influencing him to finish his food quick so they could leave.

“Holy shit what are you a vacuum?” the rabbit jokes.

“Just pumped! What should we do after this?”

“I think we’ll just hang at my apartment until we figure something out. We need time to wind down after leaving the ward anyway.”

“We need to get new phones,” Leo reminds Yuichi while they unpack his box full of clothes.

“Actually,  you  need a new phone,  I  have a spare.” the rabbit pulls out a phone from his back pants pocket. 

“Damn, you.”

“I have some guys I can call for secondhand phones. You have money right?” he asks while typing.

“Uhhhhh….”

“Well, I’m flat broke now so…”

“I can ask Uncle Hueso for some extra cash! I’ll do some stuff at Run of the Mill to pay it back.”

“You sure? Why do I feel like you’re the kind of person that does this a lot?”

“Cause I am, don’t worry I always pay back Hueso! Mmmost of the time.”

“You better this time, I don’t need Hueso thinking I’m dating a moocher,”

“We’re telling Hueso?” the room fell silent with Leo’s question. Yuichi stopped typing on his phone and looked up at the turtle.

“Well, I would hope so…? You came to the restaurant flaunting me around… before it went downhill. I just assumed… wait why would you  not  tell Hueso?”

“Because telling your Uncle who hasn’t seen you in what, two to three weeks because I tried to kill myself that I have a new boyfriend who’s from the same psych ward is a lot. Especially if you’re seeing them again for the first time.”

“Oh, that’s true…”

“I’ll tell him though, he basically raised me of course I’m gonna tell him.” Yuichi voiced his understanding as he finished whatever it was he was doing on his phone and helped Leo unpack all the laundry.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“Finallyyyy! The internet!!” Leo raised his phone up to the sun as if it was Simba. Yuichi giggled. “Now I can finally ask for your number~” Leo rested an elbow on Yuichi’s shoulder as they walked. He gave him his phone so Yuichi could enter his number. “Thank you~” 

“Yup!”

“Oh, do you have Casey’s number?”

“Sadly,” Yuichi sighed. 

“You gotta tell me your beef with Casey, it looks like a frenemies types situation but I’m curious…” the slider blabbered while he copied the number off of Yuichi’s phone into his own. “Oh, you got a text from someone named… Chiiiz–”

“Oh!” Yuichi quickly drew his phone back to read the message.

“Oh yeah I totally got the entire number, sure no problem…” Leo said.

“Sorry…”

“I’m joking, I got the whole thing.”

“Mhm…” Leo just stared at the rabbit blankly. They kept walking side by side, Leo wondering who this “Chiz” person was. They seemed like a good friend based on how much Yuichi was texting. 

“So… is Chiz like an old friend??” he pressed.

“Uh yeah, her name’s Chizu by the way.”

“Now that name makes more sense! Hey, let's go to Run of the Mill again! I need to get Hueso’s number and I need to get his money so we can pay that guy back!”

“I’m surprised you talked him into an IOU!”

“I’m just gifted like that,” Leo said, bragging. 

“Oh, Huesoooooo~” Leo sang. 

“I know that voice anywhere… pepino?!” Hueso poked his head from behind a corner. "I did not think you would be out so soon! When did they let you out?”

“Uhhhh two days ago??”

“And you did not call?”

“I kind of forgot to pick up my phone… speaking of, uh. Do you think I could borrow some money to pay for the new phone? I’ll pay it back I promise! Like I always do!”

“Ay, yai yai! Pepino you just got out and already asking your uncle for money?”

“You’re declining a mentally unwell teenager money? Actually- that’s not a good example let me try again–”

“How much?” the skeleton spoke with a sigh.

“$95…” mumbled the red-eared slider.

“At least it’s not $200 like last time.” Hueso thrust the wad of cash into the turtle's hand.

“What on earth did you need $200 for?” Yuichi questioned. He took his place next to Leo.

“Who is this?”

“Ah Hueso this is Yuichi my– friend from the ward…”

“We got released on the same day, isn’t that crazy?” Yuichi made conversation.

“What a coincidence! I’m glad you were not alone in that place pepino.”

“Yeah me too Hueso,” Leo stared at the rabbit next to him. “Oh put your number in! I have to collect all my contacts again. Then we have to go and pay for the phone. I’ll come back tomorrow to work for the money?”

“Sound good Leonardo!”

“Thanks, Hueso! See you!” Leo took back his phone and pushed the rabbit out of the restaurant.

"That phone did not cost $95!" Yuichi accused once they were out of Run of the Mill.

"I asked for extra so we could buy groceries!"

“Ahhh... so... you're gonna tell him about us, huh?” Yuichi poked.

“I didn’t say  when, ”

“Wh- you can’t pull technicalities!” Yuichi spluttered.

“Just did, watcha gonna do bunny boy?” Leo gloated.

“Not making out with you later tonight, I can tell you that much,” the rabbit strutted away in his newfound leverage.

“Hey wait! What you can’t—  Yuichi !!” he called after the hare.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Leo and Yuichi arrived at the apartment complex with plastic bags threatening to cut into their arms, full of new food. Was Leo powering through the feelings and memories of slitting his wrists? Was he also desperately trying to ignore the urge for the bags to get heavier so they would cut further into his skin? Once again, yes he was. 

He was laughing with Yuichi, he’d made a dumb egg pun that was irresistible to snort at. “It doesn’t even make sense!”

“Sure it does!”

“Uh yeah okay bugs bunny,”

“Hey watch i–” the rabbit stopped when they reached their floor. The turtle followed suit. Three figures were standing around Yuichi’s door. Their backs to the two teens.

“Yuichi come onnn!” The smallest was knocking loudly on the door. 

“What the  fuck  are you guys doing here?” he voices. They turn around and make varying exclaims about how good it is to see Yuichi and how long he’s been gone. But he cuts them off.

“Chizu I told you to wait. I said I didn’t want you here. I said I wasn’t home!” 

So that’s Chizu?  Leo thought looking at a tall cat yokai. They had black and white fur and wore a red leather jacket with matching skinny jeans stuffed into black boots. This made Leo examine the other two. 

All of them were Yokai. The one that was knocking on the door seemed to be a fox yokai with long orange hair pulled into a ponytail. They were wearing a dark blue sweatshirt and black leggings. The last one was a huge rhinoceros yokai with eyebrows that  almost  rivaled Donnie’s. They wore a purple jacket over a black shirt and black jeans. He realized in checking out the possible friends of Yuichi he wasn’t listening to the conversation they were having.

“Um, I don’t mean to interrupt. Plus I spaced out so I don’t know what we’re talking about, but these bags are cutting off my circulation so I’d like to go inside.” Leo looked at Yuichi who looked back. The rabbit sighed before telling the newcomers, “ Do not  snoop around.  Stay  in the living room.” Yuichi shoved his keys into the door and let the visitors inside. He and Leo followed. 

They set the groceries on the kitchen counter while Yuichi’s friends made a commotion in the living room. 

“Who are they?” Leo whispered.

“Old friends. We used to be really close but… ugh I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with this. I don’t even have medication!” Yuichi yelled quietly.

“Okay well… do you want them here?”

“Fuck no.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“You’ll probably find out why soon enough. I can’t exactly ask them to leave.”

“The hell you can,” Leo said and crossed his arms.

“You don’t know them, Leo! I’ve known them for years, they’ve done this more times than I can count. I ask them to leave it just makes them want to stay longer! They’ll bring up some dumb ass shit that I have to fight back on.”

“I can ask them to–”

“No.” The contempt in Yuichi’s voice made the slider still. “It’s fine Leo, I’ll tell them they just can’t stay the night. We’ll muscle through it. Fucking  fuck me, ” Yuichi said more to himself and stalked toward the living room.

“Look who decided to show up! Hey, Chi you gonna introduce us?” the fox yokai said.

“Hey, how do you work this remote?” the rhino asked as he tapped the side of the remote. The stressed teen took a breath before making introductions.

“Leo, this is Kitsune–” the fox waved with a smile. “Gen–”

“Hey, Leo!” Gen greeted, still trying to make the remote work.

“And that’s Chizu.” Chizu gave a curt nod. “Gen the batteries are dead.”

“Damnit.” He tossed the remote on the floor and leaned back on the couch. “So, Leo what’s your deal?”

“My deal?” Kitsune giggled and it made Leo’s face pinch. Now that Leo was getting a proper interaction with these people he realized how uneasy they made him feel. This entire situation spelled disaster. And Leo was god awful at spelling.

“You know, why you’re here. How do you know Yuichi?” Leo shared a stare with Yuichi. Was it okay to tell these people? His eyes posed. Yuichi’s eyes answered absolutely the fuck not.

“We met… at a pizza place I used to work at. I thought he was cool so we made banter and stuff. Gave him my number on his check.”

“Please, I gave you my number. You are  not  that bold!” Yuichi pushed Leo with his hip.

“Uh huh, sure bunny boy.” Leo pushed the rabbit back. The two fell into a little rhythm of lightly pushing each other with their hips. Like a Newtons Cradle. 

“Huh,” Kitsu voiced, staring at the two and their hip bumps. “So are you two boyfriends or something?”

“Yup,” Yuichi said and chose to not elaborate.

“Sick, so what are you Leo, gay?” Kitsune asked.

“Bisexual,”

“Cool! You smoke?” Kitsune began fiddling in her hoodie pocket. 

“I’ve smoked weed a few times. Hit a bong or some shit once–” he noticed Kitsune pulling out a box of cigarettes and added, “but it wasn’t my thing. Could never get into it.”

“What about edibles?” asked Gen.

“Never had one.”

“Bros missing out!” Gen said, standing up. Leo noticed Yuichi was being eerily silent during this entire interaction. “Me and Kitsune are going on the balcony for a smoke, join us if you want,” and the two left swiftly. Leo and Yuichi were left with Chizu, who was still choosing to stand. She hadn’t stopped staring at him and Yuichi since they arrived in the living room. 

“Can you stop that?” Chizu asked rather politely. The two stopped. Leo and Yuichi had fallen into such a rhythm that when they stopped their hips temporarily felt like two magnets being held just inches apart. As if nature wanted them to collide and bounce off of each other. But the feeling faded away until all they felt was the empty inches between their hips.

“What are you doing here Chizu? I told you I wasn’t home,” Yuichi finally spoke up.

“Well, usually you are home when you say that. I didn’t know this would be the time you actually weren’t. And before you start yelling, it was Kitsune’s idea to come here, not mine.”

“I don’t want you guys here. Do you think I left just for funsies? I was trying to get away from you guys! I left because I was tired of waiting for you to work up the courage to leave with me.”

Leo was hopelessly lost but now he felt like he was simultaneously involved and not welcome. 

“It’s hard Yuichi, you know that! Where the hell did you go anyway? Like you could afford to even go to Jersey!” 

“Haha nice reference,” Leo hoped to break the tension with his remark.

“What??” Both turned their heads to the turtle, completely confused.

“Nevermind…” Leo looked down and stuck his hands in his hoodie pockets. With a rush of cold wind and the smell of cigarette smoke, Gen and Kitsune returned. 

“Wow, there’s totally zero tension in this room,” Kitsune commented sarcastically.

“Hey Yuichi, I got the stuff, seems like it’s been a while.” Gen digs around his pocket while speaking.

“Gen you did not just fucking bring hero–”

“Chill dude, I don’t have enough for  you  anyway,” the rhino chuckles before tossing a plastic bag to the concerned rabbit. He caught it in both hands. Inside the small plastic bag were tiny squares of what looked like paper with colorful images on them. “You look like you need it.”

The drugs Leo was well versed in may only be his medication, weed, and some shrooms, but he knew for a fact that Yuichi was holding LSD in his hands.

“Fucking– Gen every time does not have to be drug time!”

“Oh c’mon Chi, it’s been so long since we’ve seen you! Why not celebrate?” Kitsune chirped up.

“No Kitsune, does it look like I want to celebrate?” Yuichi tossed the bag back to the surprise of his friends. Leo didn’t even know if he could call them friends.

“Alright, fine Yuichi… chill. Chizu?” Gen asked. The cat shrugged and said, “I’ll do some later.” Gen shrugged back and put the bag in his pocket. 

“Yuichi you have any drinks?” Kitsune asked. 

“I have like- Sparkling Ice?”

“Shit, I love those!” Gen cheered.

“I’ll get ‘em.” Leo places a fleeting hand on Yuichi’s shoulder to show it’ll be okay before digging through the fridge for the Sparkling Ice. When Leo returned he found Gen and Kitsune sitting on the floor in front of the balcony, Chizu sitting by the wall next to the balcony, and Yuichi sitting against the couch. “We only have the Black Cherry flavor, sorry if you wanted something else.” Leo chuckled, attempting to be friendly as he handed everyone their drinks.

“Hey,” Leo handed Yuichi his drink and sat with him.

“Hey.”

“You okay?” he whispered.

“No, I want them to leave. I should’ve expected Gen to pull that.”

“Yeah, can I ask about that?”

“Casey probably told you, but I was addicted to LSD for a long time. Heroin too. I’ll give you one guess as to how that happened.” Leo glanced at the Yokai's that were, at this point, invading the living room. 

“How long is a long time?”

“Since I was 14.”

“Jesus, 3 years?” 

“Something like that, it felt like longer. I was in the ward because I was also trying to get clean. Still trying to, I have the urge every day, these guys don’t help much.”

“They don’t know you’re getting clean do they?”

“No, they don’t. I didn’t tell them because they’d judge me for it.” Yuichi rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands, groaning quietly. “I just want them to leave,” He whispered. Leo just leaned into Yuichi, arm to arm. Leo felt Yuichi take a shuddering breath before laying his furry white head on his shoulder.

Leonardo learned to hang out with Yuichi’s old friends. He didn’t exactly like them, but he found ways to tolerate them and discovered good traits in their personalities. Kitsune was energetic and funny, Gen was quite chill, and so was Chizu. He spent most of their interaction answering questions they had about him, and in turn, he asked questions about them. 

It was going decently, the occasional snide remark or petty silence didn’t help any, however. Things began going downhill when Kitsune and Gen began questioning Leo and Yuichi’s relationship. 

“Sooo~ How long have you been together?” Kitsune pressed

“I dunno…” Leo looked at the rabbit. The answer was two days. Soon to be three once the clock struck midnight, which they were slowly approaching. “We’re newly official but we’ve known each other for almost a month.”

“Damnnn newlyweds!”

“We’re not married,” Yuichi deadpans.

“Whatever, have you guys had sex yet?” Leo spits out his drink, lightly spraying the cream-colored carpet with the dark red beverage.

“Awh  shit ,” he says quietly.

“Kitsune, you can’t just ask people that!” Gen pushes her. But Leo answers, “It’s fine, no, not yet.” 

“At least you’re not a virgin right?” interrogated the rhino.

“No? Why does that matter?” The two just shrugged. Leo looked at the rabbit and made a face of bewildered confusion. Yuichi just shrugged to say, “These are my friends…”

“Wait have you told him about…” Kitsune hinted at Yuichi. He groaned and his expression grew grim.

“What?” 

“Um- Yuichi has these things, delusions,” Kitsune whispered as if the cops would burst into the room as soon as the words left her lips.

“What Delusional Personality Disorder? Yeah, I know.” Leo said and leaned back and into Yuichi, who started fiddling with the strings on Leo’s hoodie.

“Oh… you’re cool with it? It doesn’t freak you out?” Gen asked.

“I guess, it’s not like Yuichi can help it. I know what it’s like to be fucked up.” Leo could feel Yuichi smile, in turn, the turtle smiled too.

“I don’t know if you can get more fucked up than 'Omg, a cereal killer is going to jump out of the fridge!!' " Kitsune waved her hands in fake panic. She and Gen laughed, and Chizu chuckled. Leo scowled. 

“Well, I had to be restrained by three people during a manic episode and in the same episode I was convinced that if I got caught trying to kill myself I would prove something. So I think I can come close to ‘Omg a cereal killer is gonna jump out of the fridge’ ” Leo shut down the other teens. 

“Yuichi are sure you still want to date?”

“Yes, why Gen?” 

“Well, you always think they’re cheating on you, even though it’s just not true… remember Tay?”

“Shut up, Gen. I don’t want to think all that shit! But it’s real to me! Why can’t you get that through your giant skull?” Yuichi taps the side of his head rather hard.

“Gee sorry…”

“Too late for sorry Gen! I haven’t let go of the shit you pulled last year in October!”

“Yuichi c’mon... it wasn’t that bad!” defended the small fox.

“ I literally thought someone was going to come into my house and murder me!! I called the police and had panic attacks! And you laughed in my face! You jumpscared me any chance you got and laughed when I freaked out! ” at this time Yuichi was sitting up and Leo was next to him lightly hugging himself. Leo’s mind couldn’t grasp the idea of what he was hearing. He knew abilist fucks were out there, but he didn’t think shit like this would ever occur in his life.

“Well, you never exactly told us how to deal with your delusions! You kept leaving and coming back all the time, and you never told us why! Then you left for longer than normal! Is that why you left anyway?” Gen countered.

“Yeah, we thought you ran away because you were convinced someone was trying to kill you! Then you didn’t contact us or answer any of our calls and texts!”

“That is why I left! I was so tired of living with my delusions un-medicated and untreated! I’ve tried to  overdose.  So I admitted myself to a psychiatric ward! Every time I left that’s where I was! I was in a psych ward full of crazy people like me, trying to get better and clean!”

“Yuichi…” Chizu stood up.

“Are you sure you don’t want this conversation to be more private..” Kitsune eyes Leo.

“I MET LEO IN THE PSYCH WARD!” Everyone looked at the slider for confirmation. Leo nodded. 

“Why wouldn’t you tell us about something like this?!” Gen erupted.

“The one time I mentioned rehab you called me a pussy and told me it was just my delusions talking. When I told you I cut myself for the first time, you said I was emo and wanted to be special. You guys don’t give a damn about anyone’s, even your own, mental or physical well-being! As long as you can get high and judge with them you don’t care! Once personal shit comes in, dear god it’s like you’ve never experienced emotion!” the distraught teen ranted. Everyone had stood up now. While they fought Leo was assessing how the hell he was going to stop this mess.

“You never bothered to ask about our feelings either, Yuichi. And then you just up and left all the time. Sure, we’re not as great friends as we used to be, but we still have a connection. And you left us clueless. You needed to get your shit together, but we  all  have shit falling apart,” Chizu added.

“Yeah, at least we’re not looking for sanctuary because of our problems. You always needed something to depend on. Drugs, boyfriends–”

“Guys, I think–”

“There’s nothing wrong with seeking sanctuary!!” Yuichi interrupted. Leo was growing worried. He didn’t know where this would lead, and in all honesty, he wanted these people out of where he was staying. He walked over to the front door, opened it to no one's notice, and slammed it as hard as he possibly could. The room was thrust into silence, and all heads turned to Leonardo.

“You guys need to get out.”

“Look, Leo, you’re new–” Gen started, but Leo was quick to interrupt. 

“Yeah, but I sure as hell know when shit is going sideways. None of this is going to end well. Me and Yuichi aren’t well enough to deal with this, I don’t want us to end up hurting ourselves or you guys. Even though you seem to deserve it.”

“Hey!”

“Kitsune, you’ve put all the shit out in the open, but you need to save the shit hitting the fan for another time.”

“Geez, you didn’t have to use such a gross analogy…” Kitsune mumbled as she trudged to the door. Gen and Chizu followed while Yuichi stayed silent.

“Hey, I left my cigs–” Leo shut the door in Kitsune’s face. He \did a deep inhale before he turned to face the rabbit who was now walking toward the balcony. He picked up the packet of cigarettes. When the gang exited the building, Yuichi hollered, “ Kitsune! ”

Everyone looked up. Yuichi chucked the cigarettes to the sidewalk and they landed with a distant-  TAK! 

“Now  fuck .  Off .” and the rabbit stormed off the balcony.

He followed Yuichi silently to the bedroom. Only when he’d let himself drop onto the mattress did Leo, who stood in the doorframe say, “So I guess this means we won’t be making out tonight?” This earned a chuckle from the rabbit, not much, but it was something.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“I don’t even know why we left…” Leo felt Yuichi turn to his side. The turtle was lying on his back and stared at the ceiling, his hands folded on his plastron.

“I don’t really know either.”

“Should we go back?”

“No.” Leonardo was stunned at how quickly Yuichi responded.

“But look at us. We’re nowhere near well enough to be dealing with all of this.”

“As long as neither of us are plotting to kill ourselves or each other then we don’t need to go.” He felt the rabbit turn to the other side aggressively.

The distressed teen didn’t get much sleep that night. He spent it staring at the bare ceiling and trying to suppress the current running through his body that was telling him to end it all. So the slider thought about the other turtles at the ward. He wondered if Raph was still doing okay and if Donnie had grown to appreciate the ward even somewhat. Was Mikey still screaming at night in his room? He hoped not. Did they all still play cards in the community room? 

Was it wrong that Leo wished he was back at the ward? That some part of his screwed-up brain craved the routine, the check-ins, even the trashy pizza. He just didn’t want the desire to kill himself to be behind his every thought. He didn’t want to experience any more manic episodes or to want to experience them. The slider just wanted a night empty of worries and full of sleep. He just wanted to get better.

Chapter Text

Feigning sleep Leo listened to Yuichi get out of bed and move around the house. He guessed at some point he decided to call his friends because now he was talking and arguing. Leo finally chose to sit up, he sat for a moment, listening to the argument before walking out of the room.

“Seeking sanctuary does not make me a puss– Leo!” Yuichi was standing by the door, he frowned at whatever was said on the other line. 

“Hey Yu…” Leo shuffled to the kitchen and began making himself tea. “Do you want any?”

“What do you mean “so what?” Because they were ruining my body!” Leo decided to make Yuichi some tea.

When the whistle of the tea kettle alerted the teen he poured the scolding water into a green mug that he noticed almost matched his skin. Ignoring the thoughts of burning himself yet again. He laid Yuichi’s tea cup on the table as he sat down drinking his own.

If this is how every morning would go, Leo really needed to get his hands on sleep medication. He found himself growing agitated as the argument progressed. Yuichi had yet to notice the tea Leo had made and was pacing around the apartment, phone in hand. 

Was it so hard to have a good morning? Leo was starting to hate these old friends of Yuichi’s. More than he first felt when they met. Yuichi’s stupid fucking friends.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“Finally I got Kitsune to shut up,” Yuichi said as he tossed his phone on the kitchen counter.

“Wowww only took 3 fucking hours,” commented Leo from the living room.

“What’s your deal?” 

“My deal is that I hate your friends. A lot. And you spent almost the whole day arguing with them. I made you tea, by the way, it’s on the table but it’s probably cold as shit now.”

“Oh, thanks… I can’t control my friends though.”

“But you can hang up the phone anytime.” he reminded. Leo was getting irritated. He didn’t like obsessing over things like these. But he found himself thinking about Yuichi’s friends and every detail he hated about them. How he would counter possible arguments. He just wanted them to all shut up. He wanted Yuichi to stop arguing all the time. He couldn’t stop thinking about how to make the fighting stop. But all the thoughts on how to make it stop were spinning around in his brain and he couldn’t catch them all. 

“You should cut them off.”

“Leo I can’t just–”

“Sure you can. Block, and delete their numbers. Don’t talk to them ever. They literally played a part in your addictions. They’re assholes Yuichi. Friends don’t laugh in your face when you think someone’s going to murder you. Who does that anyway? Sick fucks, do that. I could never understand ableism. Like it just doesn’t make any sense. How can you not view any human as human? Just because we’re different doesn’t– doesn’t make us less of a person. My brain can’t even fathom that idea. Fathoms is a weird word. But how do you look at someone with any kind of difficulties and think “They’re lesser than me.” Well, actually I could do that about your friends. They’re assholes. I fucking hate them by the way. I wish they’d just disappear y’know?”

“Leo–” Yuichi’s face was contorted with worry.

“Kind of like how I want to disappear sometimes. You know what that’s like though. Intrusive thoughts, like when I wanted to burn myself while making tea. Wait what if I poison your friends!”

“LEO!!” the turtle in question immediately clamped his mouth shut. Yuichi was sitting at the dining room table, holding a now warm cup of tea in hand. His face showed worry. Leo guessed talking about poisoning your friends was probably something to worry about. Leo could tell he was acting different than his normal self. But he was just so sick and tired of Yuichi’s friends. He hated them, he wanted them to disappear. But Leo didn’t say any of this, instead, he said, “What?”

“What have you been thinking about all day?”

“How much I hate your friends. Sorry is that mean? They just suck, they’re abilis–”

“Leo I think—”

“Can you not interrupt me?” Snapped the teen. “I should call the police on them. I can report them for their possession of drugs. Get them thrown in jail. I’m so fucking done listening to you arguing with them all the time. They’re dumb fucks with their “finding sanctuary is for pussies!” Last time I checked if I hadn’t been admitted to that ward I’d be dead right now. But that’d be good for them because then they wouldn’t have someone calling the police on them. I hate goddamn snitches but I’ll be one.” By this time Yuichi had gotten up from the table and made his way to Leo on the couch.

“You’re pretty by the way. Really pretty, have those friends of yours ever called you pretty? Probably, probably not. I don’t know how they can be such- such assholes to someone like you. I just– just– I fucking–” Leo pulled his hand back so fast when he felt Yuichi’s hand on his.

“Sorry… Leo, you’re spiraling into a manic episode.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Sorry. I won’t touch you. Leo, what do you d–”

“I’m going on a walk.”

“No sir. I can’t risk you hurting yourself or my friends out there. We’re gonna stay here for a bit okay? Plus we haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

“I do like breakfast… but I don’t need to eat! I’m fine!”

“Damn, I wanted to use the bananas we got at the grocery store…”

“Ugh fine!!” Leo stormed off to their room, and Yuichi let out a sigh.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Yuichi had only ever seen mania once in his life. He was eleven, maybe twelve years old. An older cousin who had Bipolar went into an episode about something he couldn’t remember. But his cousin was easily angered, he watched as an uncle had to resort to restraining the cousin before he could hurt anybody.

Then of course he witnessed Leo’s manic episode at the psych ward. Who knew it wouldn’t be the last time he’d have to deal with Leo’s mania? 

Because the rabbit had rarely seen mania he didn’t know how to act during an episode. He spent the first half hour researching mania signs and symptoms and the other half on how to deal with those having manic episodes. The only thing he knew was to make easy foods.

His uncle had talked about how his cousin often needed to be fed “easy foods” because in his episodes he couldn’t focus on eating for too long. For some reason that stuck in his mind.

So here he was, eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich with Leo. Going over in his head what to do. Apparently manic episodes last weeks so he was prepared to listen to whatever Leo was going to talk about for the next week. Luckily eating kept the turtle occupied enough that he stopped talking.

“Thanks that was good Yuichi! Can we go out now?”

“No, I want to finish unpacking some stuff. I’m thinking of working on the living room today?”

“How can you be thinking about making your apartment all nice and pretty when your “friends” are still out there being douchebags?!” Yuichi laid his sandwich back on the plate before speaking.

“Because it distracts me from thinking about them. As much as I wish this didn’t happen, it did and I can’t be thinking about it all the time or I might spiral.”

“Then we should just get rid of them somehow so we don’t have to deal with them! Like I said we could call the police…”

“Leo we don’t need to call the police. Please don’t call the police.”

“ Fine! We’ll make your stupid apartment all nice and pretty.” the turtle agreed through gritted teeth.

Yuichi watched Leonardo closely as they sorted through the boxes they’d brought to the living room. He was being oddly quiet and it made Yuichi exceedingly cautious. 

“Holy shit.”

“What??” Yuichi turned, hoping Leo didn’t just injure himself somehow.

“This going to sound insane but… I think me, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are brothers!”

“... What?”

“Think about it, we’re all turtle yokai! What are the odds that four turtle yokai would end up in the same- the same psych ward together? It’s like fate is trying to get us to meet and reunite! I mean we look really similar, me and Donnie are basically twins. You know there’s a movie kind of like that. Parent Trap, it’s about these two girls who meet at summer camp, their parents divorced when they were little and they switch places so they could meet their other parent. They used one person to play both- both twins… but it’s just like that! Maybe we were orphans or something and we were adopted separately! I mean I was raised by my Uncle Hueso I don’t have parents. We all really love Japanese weapons–”

“Can you–”

“I saw that katana above your bed by the way. Super fucking cool by the way!”

“Hey Leo,”

“What?” Leo looks to Yuichi as if he’s a kid caught up in his thoughts. Eyes wide, biting his lip. 

“Sorry to interrupt but–”

“No, you’re good, you’re good.”

“Can you tell me more about the Japanese weapons? I mean like you said you’ve seen my katana, I love talking about that stuff.”

“Fuck yeah! So I’ve got an Odachi and- and twin Katanas, Raph says he owns Tonfas and Sai, and Mikey owns Nunchucks and a Kusari Fundo! First of all, I want to know where that little fucker got a Kusari Fundo, those things are awesome! Maybe when I tell them we're all related he’ll show me how to use it! I can’t wait to tell them, they’re gonna be so fucking psyched. I can’t believe I have brothers. I can’t wait to tell them.”

Yuichi half listened to Leo while he was sifting through his old DVDs. 

As the day progressed Leo talked about a multitude of things, but mostly about being related to Raph, Mikey, and Donnie and how much he hated Yuichi’s friends. Mos of the time it didn’t make sense to Yuichi. On one occasion Leo became irritated and locked himself in the laundry room. Yuichi had to sit by the door and work with Leo to get him out. When the day came to a close Yuichi now had to try and get Leo to go to bed.

“But I don’t need sleep Yuichi! I’m too energized! It’s not like I get much sleep in the first place. Cause I’m an insomniac, can’t sleep, can’t sleep even if I fucking want to. But now I don’t even want to!”

“That’s fine, at least lay with me?” Yuichi patted the space next to him.

“That’s fine I like cuddling!” Leo snuggled close into Yuichi, hugging him tightly. His head lying on his boyfriend's chest. Leo was still fidgeting but as long as it was calming him down Yuichi didn’t mind.

“Do you want to make out?” Leo looked up into Yuichi’s red eyes, and Yuichi looked down into his deep brown eyes. Yuichi wasn’t sure what to say. It felt like if he said yes he would be taking advantage of Leo not being in a lucid or well state. But if he said no he didn’t know how Leo would react. The rabbit decided to take the risk.

“No, I kind of like snuggling with you right now.”

“Damnit. But we haven’t made out since our first night out of the ward!”

“I know, another time Leo.”

“ Aghhhhh!! ”

“Sorry~”

“Can I at least kiss you?” Yuichi thought about the question for a moment. He decided yes. The turtle leaned in and placed a kiss on Yuichi’s lips. Leo giggled and kicked his feet. 

Throughout the day Yuichi learned that whenever the turtle was quiet it meant he was thinking over a new discovery, or silently obsessing over something he liked, or hated. 

“I’m so lucky to have you. We probably have the best relationship in the world. I don’t think anyone else is as in love as we are. And you can’t beat a psych ward teenage love story. Nah, that’s unbeatable cottontail!” Leo reached up and booped Yuichi’s nose then kissed him again. He couldn’t help but smile even if the turtle didn’t mean it or knew what he was saying he could appreciate this.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“Yuichi! Yuichi!! ” the owner of the name awoke with a gasp. He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep. Leo was over Yuichi, shaking him awake.

“Leo, what is it?”

“I think I’m also delusional.”

“What?”

“Yeah I don’t know I just- I’m pretty sure someone’s hiding in our closet but that’s not possible so it has to be a delusion.”

“Leo to have a delusion you can’t be aware that it isn’t true…” Yuichi sat up and ran his fingers through his hair.

“What if I’m being delusional about being delusional? Wait can you do that? What’s that kind of thing called? A para… paradox! Holy shit that’s one fucking paradox.”

“Leo, are you okay? How long have I been asleep?”

“Dunno, an hour or so?”

“What did you do while I was asleep?”

“Went through all your books, they were boring but I thought they had an answer on how to get rid of your friends. They didn’t. I went to the bathroom and I replayed that whole argument you had with Gen, Kitsune, Chizu, Gen… I said Gen already right? Well anyway, I was going it over and I came up with a bunch of fucking comebacks and stuff you could’ve said. But then I realized you can’t go back in time… unless you can! So I found some spare paper and wrote ideas for a time machine on it. I think it’s fucking genius. We have to send it to NASA or something. Where’s my phone I’ll send it to them right now.”

“Can I see the paper?”

“Oh yeah! Uhhh…” Leo twirled around the room searching for the paper. “Here!” He discovered it folded on the window sill. He unfolded the paper and thrust it into Yuichi’s hands. Yuichi still half away squinted at the paper. 

“Wow- what are all these numbers?” The paper was filled with mostly numbers, some being added and subtracted from each other. A few Order of Operations which Yuichi honestly didn’t even know Leo knew how to do. A large doodle of a circle with a bunch of squares and swirls inside was drawn in the center and some notes were written amongst the numbers.

“Like the calibrations or whatever! They make a time machine. I also wrote a few dates we should go back to. Like the time when Hitler was born. Kill him, stop the holocaust you know that classic thing. But we’d have to be quick because I don’t want to go to jail in the, what, like the late 1800s? Also obviously that shit show with your friends, then my 14th birthday because I hated that. Where’s my phone I need to send this to NASA!”

Yuichi got up and followed the slider to the kitchen. The oven clock told Yuichi it was 3:46 am.

“Leo I’m going to make us some tea!” He called to the living room where Leo was rummaging through the couch for his phone.

Yuichi decided to make the Sleepy Time Tea he owned. It was apparent that Leo was going to have very little sleep, on top of the turtle's insomnia that could not be a good mix.

“Haha! Guess who’s winning a Nobel prize?”

“Who?”

“This guy! Just sent a picture of the time machine to NASA. Fuck yeah.” Yuichi couldn’t help but giggle. He knew he shouldn’t but the concept was funny to the rabbit.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Nothing! It’s just crazy! A time machine?”

“Yup! I hope they don’t steal my ideas, but I’ve got my paper so that’ll be enough proof that it was all me. My brothers are going to be so psyched!”

“Here Leo drink your tea.” Yuichi held out the green mug from earlier this morning. Technically yesterday. 

“Thanks!” Leo took the mug but didn’t drink any. “When do you think they’ll email me back? It’s gotta be soon right? It’s a time machine! You’d think the guys at NASA would immediately click on something about that?”

“Very soon.” the two walked back to the room and sat on Yuichi’s bed.

“Yeah, I need more paper so I can keep writing down the numbers. There’s some I saw in your books that’ll help.”

“My books?”

“Yeah they’ve got some number in them, I take the numbers and they add or subtract to some of the numbers I’ve written on the paper.” Leo took a sip of his tea before taking out a book from the small shelf. He began sifting through the book looking for numbers. The paper was set on the slider's knee and he wrote with a pencil as he spotted numbers. Muttering the subtraction and addition. 

“Make sure you drink your tea, Leo,”

“Good idea, I need energy so I can keep working on this. I’m so going to win a Nobel for this. This is so, so genius!” Leo took a few more sips of his tea before going back to his book and paper. Meanwhile, Yuichi lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, holding his hot mug over his chest. Trying not to fall asleep, in hindsight he realized he shouldn’t have made himself sleepy time tea.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Two days had passed and Leonardo's mania was still going. Yuichi stayed with the turtle the entire time. They went outside together, they went to every room together. Yuichi was scared Leo would do something he’d regret later. And it seemed that Leo enjoyed the company for the most part. 

Leo would lash out at times, lock himself in the laundry room, or try to call the police on Yuichi’s friends or try to call Yuichi’s friends. He tried his best to not take the negative things Leo said to heart. 

There were “calm” moments when Leo would work on his time machine on the couch or in the dining room mumbling to himself. Surrounded by books or DVDs as he looked for numbers. During these times Yuichi would work on a plan for his episodes to go over with Leo for when this one ended. He created one for when he himself might go into some kind of episode or freak out because of a delusion.

“Yuichi where do your friends live?”

“Again Leo, I’m not telling you where they live! You’re not calling the police on them.”

“Fuck you! Man, why can’t he see that it’ll be better if his friends are gone? They should spend a week in a psych ward maybe then they’d shut up about being a pussy for going to one. I just need to call the police, it’ll be better if his friends are gone! ” he ranted to himself while Yuichi ordered fries and nuggets from the McDonalds across the street.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Leonardo woke up in bed next to Yuichi. When did he fall asleep? How did he fall asleep? He’d already lost so much time! Leo got out of bed and traveled to the kitchen for reasons he already forgotten when arrived. Wait numbers! Leo opened the fridge and took out the carton of orange juice. How could he have forgotten about all the numbers they put on the back of food?! He opened cabinets and gathered the most promising foods. But something caught his eye.

The knives in the holder were tucked into a corner, next to the larger cooking utensils. Spatula, ladle, another spatula. How many spatulas do we need? Thought the slider. Wait the knives… something about the knives. Leo set the orange juice and other foods he’d collected on the counter and stood in front of the knives. 

His mind was racing through thoughts, jumbling them together like a loose ball of rubber bands being shuffled between a pair of hands. His thoughts flailed around in the ball of rubber bands until another hand pulled one out with a snap.

Kill yourself. What if you just took the biggest knife and gutted yourself? Leo was flashed with gory imagery of his organs spilling onto the floor, pints of blood splattering on the kitchen tiles and lower cabinets. Along with his body falling to the floor with a thump. Suddenly all his thoughts involved committing suicide, death, and blood. Even if it seemed unrelated to an outsider it was related to the turtle. 

These thoughts scared Leo, he’d had them before but it was as if they were so muddled together whirling around with such force that it made Leo’s head fill with pressure. His head was always full of pressure these past few days. But this? Leo couldn’t take it, he wanted the pressure to release from his tympana or just blow out of his head.

Please I don’t want to kill myself. Not again, no not again! So Leo did the only thing he knew how to do in this situation. He called someone. He called his Uncle Hueso. It was almost like the turtle was on a roof again with aspirin filling his veins.

The phone rang and rang.

“Hello!”

“Hueso! I–”

“You have reached Senior Hueso if you–” Leo hung up. It was then that he also realized he was supposed to have paid off the money he borrowed from Hueso. So much for that.

“Damnit!” He didn’t know who else to call. Yuichi was in the room, he could just tell the rabbit, right? But he was sleeping, he seemed so stressed lately, can’t have Yuichi being stressed. Probably because of his awful fucking friends. Leo’s mind started to wander and he appreciated it. Anything other than gutting himself. But it came back. Again and again. Time machine– kill yourself, Separated brothers– kill yourself— Yuichi’s dumbass friends— kill. Your. Self.

Leo scraped his insane mind for anything he could do until he found a solution. He wanted to go back anyway. He regretted leaving in the first place. Leo dialed 988, for the suicide hotline. Hoping they would tell him to go to the psych ward. Hoping they’d take away his urge to jump off the balcony or slit his wrists until the blood loss overtook him.

The phone rang. And rang, and rang. Leo knew he’d have a long wait time, but he’d wait. At least he hoped he could wait.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Something awoke Yuichi Usagi from his slumber. There was no noise, nothing shook him. But something made the rabbit open his eyes and sit up in bed. Immediately he registered that Leonardo was not in the room.

“ Fuck - Leo?” his ears picked up the sound of mumbling. Was he just working on his Time Machine again? But something told Yuichi that wasn’t right. His very nerves seemed to be stimming with caution.

“Leo?” his voice echoed softly in the hall as he approached the dining-kitchen area with nervous feet. The words were becoming intelligible but only snippets. Finally, he turned into the kitchen and discovered Leo on his phone, clearly distressed. A large knife lay on the counter behind him.

“Leo, are you okay? Who are you calling?”

“It’s not the police! I’m not calling the police!” Leo assured in a panicked voice despite the rabbit's quiet tone. 

“ Leo? Are you okay? Is there someone with you? ” someone on the other line spoke.

“Who is that?” he asked.

“No one…”

“ Are you in danger do you need to hang up this hotline? Or call the police? ” 

“No I’m not in danger… at least not from other people.” the turtle cautiously eyes his partner as he speaks.

“You’re calling a hotline? Leo, are you okay?” Yuichi ceased his steps when Leo began backing away from the rabbit's approach. “Leo?”

“I- Tina says I should admit myself to a ward… if I’m this scared I’ll hurt myself… or you.”

“The ward? We just got out of there!”

“ Leo? ” said the operator, Tina.

“She said newly released patients experience increased suicidal thoughts after being released! For up to three months Yuichi!”

“We weren’t even released! We esca–” The rabbit cut himself short, remembering someone was listening on the other line.

“That’s worse!! I need to go! We need to go back! We shouldn’t have left! I’m literally on a crisis hotline right now!”

“No! Then all the shit we did was for nothing!” Yuichi risked trying to take the phone from the teen. Anything to get him off that hotline. 

“Yuichi stop!!” Leo tried to keep the phone out of reach. 

“ Do I need to call the police? Leonardo, are you in danger? ”

“NO!! We do not need to call the police! Give me the phone! We’re not going back!” the teens were getting physical. Trying to fight the other off. Yuichi reached for the phone while Leo attempted to push the rabbit off. “Fucking– Leo!! ” Yuichi tried for another grab and caused Leo’s thumb to press the end call button.

“Yuichi!!” Leo shoved him away. “Why can’t I at least go back?!”

“Because I don’t want to be alone here!! I’ll lose my mind worrying someone’s going to murder me! I’ll worry that you’re going to be fucking another patient in your room at the ward!”

“Then come with me you ass hole! We’d get away from your stupid fucking friends, we’d be around actual friends who don’t shame you for being the way you are!! I’d see my brothers—”

“ For Christ's sake Leo they’re not your brothers!! ” Yuichi balled his fists, all his fibers were telling him to hit something, anything. Even the precious turtle in front of him. Meanwhile, Leo’s gut was telling him to make a break for it. He was scared and he wanted out of society and into the ward.

“How would you know? You’re a delusional rabbit who can’t fathom that your boyfriends can be faithful!! ”

“What the fuck Leo! You know I can’t– at least I’m not talking incessantly coming up with equally delusional ideas that I can solve god-forsaken time travel!! ”

“I’m not taking this Yuichi! I’m leaving and I’m admitting myself! You don’t have to come! Sit with your delusions for all I care!” Leo tried walking past the kitchen entrance but Yuichi wouldn’t let him. First, it was a simple block in his way.

“Yuichi let me go!”

“No!” Leo began pushing past him but Yuichi was quick to act. He shouldered the turtle and then they pushed at each other until Yuichi gave the final push and Leo's back hit the counter. 

“ What the fuck, let me go! What is your problem?! ” Leo didn’t want to get any more physical than they’d gotten. He just wanted to leave. Couldn’t Yuichi see they weren’t better, it was the only they could get better!

“You can’t go! You can’t go! Please!” The rabbit was pleading now. But Leo wasn’t falling for it. 

“We have to! It’s the only way this shit stops! It’ll get us away from your friends and–”

“Enough with my stupid friends!! Christ, you’re just as delusional as me!!”

“ I’m delusional now?! ”

“No, you’re a manic bipolar piece of shit that was too much of a wus to jump!!”

“ FINE! WHY DON’T YOU GO GET YOUR INJECTIONS OF HEROINE WHILE I STAND ON THE BALCONY RAILING!! LET’S SEE WHO’S SOUL STARTS SINKING INTO HELL FIRST?! TOO PUSSY TO JUMP? WATCH ME!” His screaming caught the rabbit off guard and the completely broken-down teen took his chance. He ran past him to the living room. But Yuichi was already wrapping his arms around Leonardo’s chest. 

“LEO STOP!! I don’t actually want you to jump. Please don’t fucking jump. I’m sorry I–” 

“Chill. I was just trying to get out of that damn kitchen.” Leo’s voice was so full of nonchalant-ness that it gave the rabbit whiplash.

“ What? ”

“I’m going to the psych ward Yuichi. You can’t stop me.” He spoke calmly.

“No Leo, please. We can’t, I’ve been there too many times it never works.”

“I said you don’t have to go with me.” Leo took Yuichi’s hands. They were so soft for such a tormented being. “But I need to go. Escaping was a huge mistake. I don’t want to be in this situation again. I don’t want to risk hurting you or myself.”

“But what about your time machine? They’ll never let you work on your time machine in there! You have to finish it for your prize!”

“Shit… they wouldn’t let me work on it. But I have to go- fuck! ” Leo thought. He couldn’t figure out which was more important to him. “Okay, how about this? I complete the time machine and when it’s finished we go to the crazy people home?” 

“That’s fine! We can do that!” Yuichi’s smile was so big it made Leo give his own small smirk. He couldn’t believe that was all it took to convince him. Yuichi could feel guilty about manipulating a manic teenager later. “Can we go to bed now?”

“I don’t need to sleep. This whole thing has me pent up.”

“That’s okay, just lay with me and you can tell me about the time machine more.” Yuichi guided Leo to the room.

“Sure.” Leo was already ranting about his time machine and how he’d use it. As if the entire situation was a blip in the past. A passing speck of dust.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

For the third time in two days, Leo opened his eyes from his sleepless rest. He had feigned sleep once again to fool Yuichi. The rabbit fell asleep quickly meanwhile he was thinking of ways to get himself to the ward. If only he could complete that time machine. He’d stop him and Yuichi from escaping. Before he could do that he had to get into the ward. You can’t work on a time machine when you want to stab yourself with a kitchen knife. Leo may have been out of his mind but he knew when he was being manipulated. Once he’d thought about it for a while.

He got out of bed as quietly as he could. If Yuichi just catches me… he’ll see I have to go back. How ironic is that? First, he was going to commit suicide to convince the nurses he had to leave now he was going to try and kill himself to get back in. Isn’t that funny how the world works? 

The bathroom door opened with barely a squeak. He closed it and was temporarily shrouded in darkness before he flipped the lights on. Leo rummaged through the mirror for something he could use. He should’ve taken a knife but he’d already locked himself in the bathroom. Did he lock himself in the bathroom? Leo looked at realized the door didn’t even have a lock. 

Taking a towel hanging from where the shower curtain would be he stuffed it into the bottom gap in the door. 

“That should stop him.” He had to hurt himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital. He continued sifting through the mirror, even trying to decide if he could drown himself in the tub. But that would be too much noise. He opened the cabinet underneath the sink. Past the face wash and toilet paper he searched. Until he was stopped short. There in the shadow of the underbelly of the sink… lay a small cardboard box with four razors inside. 

Leo was struck with momentary betrayal. He thought Yuichi had thrown these away? Why would he hide them? Now that he thought about it Yuichi had been wearing his hoodie all the time never showing his wrists or his thighs. 

Fine. Leo thought. He’s going to betray me I’m going to betray him with what he used to betray me. I have to go to the ward, I have to. So does he, we’ll kill ourselves. We’ll hurt eachother. If he catches me he’ll be let me go. We have to go back Yuichi, Yuichi we have to go back. So wake up you stupid fucking rabbit and catch me.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

With a gasp, Yuichi awoke to the turtle no longer in bed. Not again… FUCK! This time Yuichi didn’t hesitate to leave the room. But Leo wasn’t in the kitchen or on the balcony, nor was he dead on the sidewalk. Did he leave? No something told him Leo was still here.

“Leo?!” The bathroom lights were on. Yuichi sprinted to the door, and tried the handle; it moved but the door wouldn’t budge. He banged on the door while he yelled Leonardo’s name. This caused the turtle inside to yelp and drop something. The sound of metal hitting the bathroom tile placed the last puzzle piece into Yuichi’s brain.

“LEO STOP!! I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING!! LET ME IN!!” Silence was his only response. So Yuichi pushed at the door, pushed it, and shoved it with his shoulder until the towel finally gave way and a doorhandle-sized hole was smashed into the bathroom wall. The razor dropped onto the floor for the final time that night. And the last piece to their crumbling lives fell with it.

Chapter Text

Leo’s memory of how he returned to the psych ward was hazy. After the first stroke of the blade, everything was muddled together in a blur of red. So much red.

He remembered Yuichi’s face full of mortification. He remembered being picked up, smearing Yuichi’s clothes and white fur with blood. After that, all he remembered was the outside smell of New York. Gas, after-rain, fast food. It was chilly. Did Yuichi help him walk or was he carried? The turtle didn’t know, it felt like both were possible. He recalled the ding of the doors as they entered the ER. Leo remembered looking down and seeing his arms cut up, oh yeah he did that. A gap in his memory until the sound of Yuichi apologizing over and over and over in darkness came to him. Were those apologies filled with tears? Leo would like to think so. He wasn’t sure he wanted to remember the entirety of the events.

The bits of memory that stayed were strong, at least the way Leo felt in those moments. The happiness, the fear, the numbness, and confusion.

At least he was back at the ward. Surrounded by his friends. He wondered if Casey Jones was back at all. Leo didn’t know, he was lying awake staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what to feel at this moment. Relief? Honestly, he felt- not even numb. Leo missed the euphoria that came with his manic episode. But the thought of falling into another one terrified him. Now that he knew what his mania could drive him to do.

The troubled teen stared at the bandaged hands he held above him before he laid both on his plastron. He slept and dreamt of nothing.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

The water was cold but it felt good on the turtle’s green skin. He didn’t let the water touch his bandages. This was when Leo discovered how hard it was to shower when you couldn’t use your arms much. But he needed a shower. He realized he’d never taken one when out of the ward. Leaving the bathroom, damp and clean, he welcomed Bella’s tics of calling him a bitch ass whore. She was still here apparently, after she called him a whore she made a sarcastic remark about him being back which he laughed at. Leo took his medication at the front desk while he avoided the disappointed stares that came from Miss. Freya.

Leo entered the community room and brightened up at the sight of Raph, Mikey, and Donnie all sitting at the same table they always did.

“Guys!!” the turtle practically skipped to the table.

“Leo?!” was Raphael’s response.

“OMIGOSH LEO YOU’RE BACK!” Mikey hugged Leo until he winced at the pain in his arms. “Sorry! Wait– you’re back? Boy, what did you do?!”

“Uhhhhh, would you believe that I just missed you guys?” all the turtles frowned. “It was a pretty bad episode… as you can see.” Leo showed his wrists. “Yuichi brought me to the ER and they brought me back. I needed to come back though.”

“So you’d say the escape was a mistake?” Pressed Donnie.

“Yes. A huuuge one.” Leo sat next to the soft shell. “What no hugs for Leo?” Donnie scoffed before wrapping an arm around Leo’s shoulders.

“Menus.” a nurse dropped a set of menus along with crayons that bounced when they hit the table.

“Rude.” Mikey commented.

“I’m gonna be real, I’ve missed this place and it’s awful pizza.”

“Well, we’re glad you’re back Leo. Unfortunately, you missed them playing Jupiter-Jim Vacation Island!” Raph announced.

“Awh what?!?! That is so unfair!”

When it was time for Group Leo happily joined. Was it strange that he was glad to be back? Maybe it was the idea that he was going to get better. At least try to. That he’d achieved his goal and convinced Yuichi that they should come back. The thought of Yuichi reflexively made the turtle search the room for the white rabbit. He was nowhere to be seen. Did he not admit himself?

“Leo?” said the nurse leading Group spoke.

“Oh, I’m Leo and… what were the questions?” a few patients giggled.

 “Our current mood and something we’re looking forward to.”

        
“I’m kind of glad to be back actually… it’s weird. I’m looking forward to getting back on medication, I didn’t have access to any when I was gone.”

“Since you’re back do you have something you want to say to the people here for the first time?”

“You’ll get used to the pizza bro’s, trust me.” he earned more laughs and a nudge from Raph.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“Hey, you seen Yuichi?”

“Nope! Haven’t seen him.” Donnie answered. The two sat on the carpet trying to solve a puzzle together. The carpet was soft but made Leo’s skin itch.

”Oh…”

“Why? Did you stay with him after the escape?” Inquired the friend.

“Yeah. We lived together. We started dating Donnie, wasn’t it obvious?”

“Uhh- yes… Yes!” Leonardo eyes Donatello, pursing his lips before placing a puzzle piece in the wrong spot.

After some silence, Donnie spoke up. “So… what happened while you were gone?”

“Me and Yuichi chilled until shit went wayyy wrong. His douchebag friends came, they all got into a fight. Then I went into some dumb manic episode. I went on about time machines, and how much I hated Yuichi’s friends. I even thought we were long-lost brothers!”

Donnie laughed. “Oh that’s a good one Nardo…”

“I wanted to go back but Yuichi wouldn’t let me so in my episode I tried to commit suicide. Only tried, because I thought if he caught me he’d have no choice but to bring me back. I shouldn’t have done it but… it worked~” Leo stuck out his tongue at no one in particular.

“Wow…”

“Yeah,”

“No I mean wow you’re awful at puzzles.”

“Gee, thanks, Don.”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

“Don’t think I don’t see you looking around for Yuichi!” commented the spunky box turtle as he drew on his sketchpad. Sitting at a table while Leo stood.

“Whaaaaaaaat….”

 “Leo.” The deadpan stare would always crack Leo.

“We got together when we left! He carried me all bloody in his arms! Of course, I’m gonna look for him!”

“He’s been in his room. I saw him last night when you came in. He’s in the room across from mine.”

“Really? So he’s okay?”

“I wouldn’t say that. He’s depressed as shit I think. Guy won't come out of his room.”

“You think it’s my fault?”

 “Oh don’t get started on that. That’s what we have therapy for. I, on the other hand, am going to get my medication bumped up because of this drawing…” Leo took a gander at the paper and found a drawing of some kind of pink fleshy creature surrounded by red and large rocks, towering over a body bloody and bruised.

“Jeez Mikey…”

“They just don’t understand my talents!” joked the artist.

“Jeez Mikey, what the hell is that?” Raph spoke from behind the two, causing them to jump.

 “Raph?! Don’t scare us like that! And if you must know, I have no clue, I just drew it.”

       
“You’re definitely getting your dosage up.”

“That’s what I said!”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

 The second day back came all too soon, and the day after, and so did the day after that. Three days since Yuichi Usagi stepped foot– he didn’t even step, he was wheeled in on a wheel chair– into the psych ward. Three days since he layed in his bed and didn’t get up.     

Four days since he dragged a bleeding Leonardo Hamato into an ER and apologized to his temporary corpse.

       
 The turtle Yuichi learned to care for had be dead for 4 minutes and 46 seconds. And remained unconsious once he had been brought back. It fucked up Yuichi. He only began to apologize when Leo couldn’t hear him. When it was too late.    

He didn’t think he could face Leonardo. The rabbit fully believed that he killed him. The blood was literally, and figuratively on his hands.

He dragged his hands down his face. Yuichi could hear Leo laughing in the community room, his laugh echoing through the halls.       

Yuichi so badly wanted to leave. He hated being stuck in this place. He never wanted to return… so why did he? He could’ve left once he knew Leo was back in the ward and been on his merry (hah!) way. Yuichi guessed there was something in him that knew he should be here. Something that wanted to make sure Leo was safe all the time. He knew Leo could take care of himself here… where they even still together?

        
Yuichi groaned with this newfound question. Fuck, why wasn’t he the one who fell into a coma? Before the rabbit could contemplate knocking himself unconscious a nurse opened the door saying, “Check.” It was Ms. Freya.      

“Ms. Freya?--” he sat up in his bed. “What’re you doing checking up on me?”       

 “Believe it or not I do ‘stereotypical nurse things’ too. And I wanted to make sure you’re doing okay hun.”       

 “I’m okay,” Yuichi winced with a smile as the woman in front of him gave him a look.        

“Oh you are, are you?”       

“Absolutely!” Why was he going along with this? He didn’t know.

       
 “Mmm… well that Leo kid keeps looking around for you. And you’re not eating young man. Get some damn food in you, and a shower too…”

 “Freya!!” the woman laughed as she left the room. She left the door open. Yuichi swung his legs over the bed to close it, but was stopped short of another figure in the doorway.       

“Leo-” They stared at each other for a long time. Leo fidgeted with his hands contemplating what to say. His bandaged hands, Yuichi noticed.

        
“Don’t apologize!!” he spoke before Leo had the chance to.      

“I wasn’t…..” Leo avoided eye contact.

        
“Sureeee. Seriously, don’t apologize, I’m the one that drove you to–”        

“Yes, you were.” Yuichi was surprised at how quickly Leo approved of what he was saying. To be honest he was somewhat offended.        

“You took advantage of me, and it had consequences. But I wasn’t perfect either. I said shit I shouldn’t have said. And what I did clearly messed you up. Partners don’t carry bloody partners with shredded arms into the ER. So… I’m sorry for that.”       

Yuichi nodded. “I… I’m sorry too. For driving you to attempt suicide. And for essentially kidnapping you. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you.” Was he crying? When did that happen? Fuck. “I don’t want–” Yuichi couldn’t continue with the knoweldge that he was crying now. Was he being manipulative again? He didn’t want to be.

        
“Yuichi–” before he could object Leo sat next to him on the stiff mattress.       

“Sorry I don’t– I’m not– fuck.” he ran his hand across his runny nose.

        
“Yu it’s okay, well- it’ll be okay. It’s not like I’m dead or anything.” Yuichi just stared at the turtle. First his bandaged hands and then his face, gosh Yuichi never realized how bad the circles under his eyes were. He didn’t know? How could Leo not know? He cried at his corpse and Leo had no idea.      

 “Leo you–” he heaved in unstable air, pleading for the tears to stop. “Leo you died.”

        
“Hahaha what…”      

“You went into V-Fib while they were disinfecting your cuts. Leo you were dead for 4 minutes before they brought you back.”

        
“... I guess that explains the gap in my memory.” Leo’s laugh was tense.        

“Yeah…” Yuichi’s tears seemed to have clamed down, now it was his nose that was dripping like a faucet. The silence was interrupted by the rabbit’s unending sniffles and shaky breaths.

     
 “Do you want to grab some pizza? It’s lunch time,” Leo offered. Yuichi wiped his nose before answering, “Yeah sure.”

⳼⳼⳼⳼

Leo wasn’t necessarily having a hard time believing he had died. It made sense. But it surprised him. He never wanted to actually die and yet he did. The part he couldn’t grasp nor fathom was that he liked it.       

If being dead was just a dark gap in your memory then it wasn’t so bad. It was almost like sleep. Leo didn’t want to kill himself… but if his heart unexpectedly stopped he wouldn’t mind.

        
“I should probably tell my psychiatrist…”        

“What was that Leo?”        

“Nothing Mikey…”        

It was dinner time, almost the entire community room was full of teens poking and begrudgingly eating the cold dry rice or refried beans. Occasionally a nurse would have to urge a patient to eat. It was a slow night. Yuichi was sitting next to Leo, the only time he ate was when a nurse was looking at him.        

“Yuichi you have to eat mo– what are you two whispering about?” Leo turned his attention to Mikey who was whispering into Raph’s ear. Raph gasped before a big smile spread across his face. “What’re you smiling about Raph??” The two giggled quietly, they were clearly planning something.        

“Guys what is it? Yuichi help me out here!”        

“Guys tell me, I swear I won’t tell Leo.”        

“Hey!” the rabbit snickered.

       
“Sorry we can’t! It’s a surprise!” Mikey announced.       

“Oh joy, it better not have to do with beach balls… never again…” Donnie shudders before glaring at Mikey.

        
“I swear it has nothing to do with beachballs! Turtles Honor” Mikey does a Boy Scouts oath and resumes his giddiness. Leo had a feeling he was missing something about the beach balls but he chose not to press. He was more occupied with whatever Mikey and Raph were hiding. Even Donnie was out of the loop.        

“What a bunch of jerks.” Yuichi stated. The two left-out turtles nodded.      

 “Just be prepared for next week guys,” assured Raph. The other three pouted as bed time was announced. Leo said goodbye to his friends as he turned into Female Hall.

⳼⳼⳼⳼

        
It was clear, even to Donatello, that someday Leo and Yuichi were going to get caught by the nurses. After 3 days of awkward tension, it suddenly vanished and the two were beyond giddy with each other. Raph honestly had no idea why they would openly flirt with each other… especially with as cheesy pickup lines as they used. He could barely handle the secondhand embarrassment.        

Mikey was just worried. He was happy they were happy but there was something wrong that he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was.

“Leo why–” Yuichi tried to mutter through hitched breaths. “You think this might just be a distraction from– oh fuck!” The rabbit found it hard to confront his boyfriend while he was receiving neck kisses and love bites.

        
Leo on the other hand found it hard to concentrate while Yuichi kept trying to hold a conversation. So he pushed him further into the wall. He inched his hand closer to Yuichi’s crotch, fingers almost making it into the rabbit's boxers before another hand pushed it away.        

“Leo cut it out! I’m trying to talk to you!”       

 “I thought we came in here so I could give you a hand job?”       

 “Well yeah- that too but- Leo this is getting harder to hide and I have a feeling you’re not doing this just because you love me.”        

“Uh- what?” now Leo had stepped away from Yuichi, hands on his hips.        

“I’m not saying you don’t love me! It’s just I think you’re using all this make-out shit to distract yourself from… from what happened.”        

Leo was silent for a second before he spoke up. “Relax Yu it’s okay. I’m not using you as a distraction.”        

“Do you promise?”        

“Cross my heart, hope to die.” The two laughed at the irony.

 “I’m using him to distract myself! I’m a terrible boyfriend Mikey!!” Leo sat in the bed across from Mikey who was doodling.       

 “Yeah you really are…”        

“Hey!”        

“Sorry! Just telling it like it is!”      

 “What do I dooooo? I can’t tell my psychiatrist or else I’m ratting myself out!” Leo leaned closer to the box turtle, pleading with both hands in front of his face. “Pleaseeee!”

        
“You want the Dr. Feelings or Dr. Delicate Touch answer?”       

 “... both?”       

Michelangelo closed his sketchbook softly, cleared his throught and– “STOP BEIN A DOUCHEBAG AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH SON!! YOU’RE RUINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP BY USING HIS BODY TO DISTRACT YOU DIPSHIT!!”

        
“... thaaanks… and Dr. Feelings?”        

“You need to tell Yuichi how you feel, apologize for using him and tell him why you did it. Then look for other solutions to solve your inner turmoil.” Leo smiled weakly at Mike’s sinister smirk.       

 “Alright, thanks for the advice Mike. I’ll see you at dinner.” and the blue turtle took his leave.

Leo did not take Michaelangelos advice.

 “Shhhh shh, Leo you’re gonna get us caught!” Yuichi half giggled half whispered as Leo dragged the rabbit into his room.

       
“You’re the one who moans loud as fuck all the time.”        

“Do not!” They whispered as they excitedly shuffled through the doorway.        

“You do too! Why do you think I cover your mouth every time you climax.”        

“I thought it was something you were into!”        

“No! I’d rather hear your full moans, even though they’re over the top.” Leo’s snicker was cut short when Yuichi pushed him, pressing the turtle between the bed and bunny.       

“So you wanna take the–” before he could tease Yuichi pressed his tongue into Leo’s throat.

The rabbit tasted like nothing just like last time and the time before that. He’d grown accustomed to the absent taste. Even welcomed it with his own tongue. Leo could feel Yuichi’s dick getting hard and close to his crotch. The thought made his hips buzz with the desire to inch closer.

      
The kisses stopped and Leo frowned, he looked to the rabbit on top of him who slid down the length of his plastron. He was sure to let his fingers touch every inch of the smooth tan surface. When Yuichi reached the bottom end of his plastron he paused and asked, “Can I?” And oh God Leo had never heard anything sexier in his life come from those rabbits lips.

“ Fuck yes, ” he gasped.

Yuichi slipped his hands under the edges of Leo’s plastron searching for the tip of his shorts. The sliders breath hitched when he felt the fingers wrap around the waistband and touch the skin underneath.

“Man you guys are getting into it!” a familiar voice reverberated in both teenager’s ears. They bolted upright, Leo’s waistband snapped at his hips and it sent an arousing shiver through his body. Too bad the moment was ruined.

A different kind of warmth crept up Leo’s face at the sight of Casey standing in the doorway. Fire engulfed his face at the sight of the tall, disappointed woman who was clearly a nurse standing behind him.

Yuichi seemed speechless until he piped up with, “Nurse O’Neil?!?! What are you doing here???” Bouncing off the bed Yuichi went to hug the nurse.

She laughed loud and crisp, patting his back. “My breaks finally over thought I’d come surprise you. I found this one 3 days ago and thought I’d bring him back too.” She gestured to the black haired teen. Leo just looked in bewilderment, mostly at Casey who was beaming with the information he now held.

“Hey Leonardo~” he teased.

“You’re not saying anything Case.”

“Only if you stay on my good side.”

“So this is the infamous Leonardo?” Nurse O’Neil stepped into the room followed by his rabbit, Leo really wished she didn’t but her presence seemed friendly. “I’m Nurse O’Neil, I’ve heard quite a lot about you from Casey.”

Leo took this moment to sit up and properly take in the situation. The woman standing in front of him was tall, black, with her dark brown hair in an Afro. A blue headband sat on her hairline. Her warm eyes were comforting but she clearly held her judgment in her mouth and brow. She was a nurse at this unit, just witnessed two, mentally ill teens about to fuck when they’re definitely not supposed to.

So to sum it all up, he was fucked (Sadly not by Yu).

“I wish I could say the same for you Nurse O’Neil…” his voice shook and sweat beaded on his forehead.

“Oh don’t be nervous! I’m not gonna report you hun! So long as you don’t do it again. If you do maybe be quieter next time.” She winked before turning to Yuichi.

Leo watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he gulped.

“I heard from Miss Freya that you haven’t been eating much?”

“Uhm-“

“Do you believe it’s been poisoned again?”

“No…”

“Then no excuses! You gotta eat!”

“Yes Nurse O’Neil!” Yuichi agreed, not from intimidation or fear but because he felt encouraged to eat now. Glancing at the rabbit Leo wondered how she did that, he’d been urging his boyfriend to eat for days. Just who was this Nurse?

“What? No welcoming words for Casey Jr?”

Leo calmly stood, walked to his dear friend and rested his hands on Casey’s shoulders. With a warm smile he spoke, “Welcome back you schizo douche-fag.”

“Hey Mikey guess what I just saw!”

Leo ran after Casey to stop his human friend from spilling everything to the worst turtle he could’ve told. 

Chapter Text

Sorry this isn't an actual chapter, but I'd like you all to know that this fic is officially an old version of "I'm Not Crazy, You're Crazy" I'm rewriting it because I know I can do way better and improve a lot of things. If you'd like to (eventually) see what happens next go check out the new version! There aren't going to be any drastic changes in the first chapter but after that, there will be very noticeable changes in plot, concepts, etc. This version will stay up because I know a lot of you love it and I think it's nice to go back and look at how things have changed.

Hope you all enjoyed and thank you to those who've read this far!

I'm Not Crazy, You're Crazy [REMAKE]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60849856/chapters/155424631