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Another day has come to a close at the Wonderland SEKAI. It'd been another busy day jam-packed full of surprises, what with Miku somehow getting her hands on some firecrackers (where did she even find those?), and Meiko teaching a few of the stuffed animals how to juggle knives (knives! And not even the prop kinds!).
Yes, today has been quite the…exciting day. But if he’s being honest, it’s exactly these sorts of days that Kaito would never trade for anything in the world. Of course, there’s always bound to be some spontaneous shenanigans or unplanned emergency, and there's definitely been more than a few… close calls. But the radiant smiles of his fellow troupe members he gets to see everyday make the brief moments of pandemonium all worth it in the end.
Kaito is picking up props and tidying up the stage, like he does every evening, while making a mental checklist of things that need to be done before tomorrow’s show. Len had ripped the sleeve of his costume rehearsing a particularly energetic sword fight scene, so that needs patching up. And then he’s giving some pointers to Luka for her opening narration, and organizing a last minute dress rehearsal for Rin and the stuffed animals for their song and dance number. Ah, also, the props for tomorrow need to be checked over one last time to make sure everything’s in perfect condition. Yes, tomorrow’s shaping up to be another busy day.
The VIRTUAL SINGER is so caught up in his thoughts that he almost misses the quiet cough coming from right behind him. He looks over his shoulder, and nearly drops the box of props in his arms in surprise.
“N-Nene-chan? I didn’t notice you standing there.”
The shyest member of Wonderlands x Showtime looks up at him briefly, before ducking her head in greeting. “H… hello, Kaito-san. I’m sorry to bother you when you’re busy.” Nene pointedly fixes her gaze on the ground between her feet.
He knows how timid she can get; it certainly took her a much longer time compared to the others in her troupe to warm up to him and Miku. But something about the way she’s nervously shuffling her feet and fidgeting with her hair tells Kaito this isn’t just an ordinary bout of shyness. He sets his box down on the stage and motions to the audience seats.
“Would you like to sit and chat a little?”
Her head snaps up. “Um… is that alright? I mean… you were in the middle of doing something…”
He smiles reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I was just doing a little cleaning. It can wait.” He gestures once again to the seats. “Then shall we?”
* * *
Even after they’re both seated, Nene can’t seem to keep still. She folds and unfolds her hands together, taps her feet, chews on her bottom lip. She opens her mouth a couple of times as if to finally speak up, but closes it almost immediately and remains silent. Kaito doesn’t mind waiting. Clearly whatever is on her mind is quite important.
Finally, she says slowly, carefully, “Kaito-san… I wanted… to ask for some advice.”
Hm. Advice. It’s not often that Nene actively seeks help. “Of course. How can I help?”
She stares down at her lap. Her hands are clasped together so firmly, her knuckles are turning white. She mumbles out, “Um… it’s… a little embarrassing, but…” She pauses, then groans and buries her face in her hands. “P… promise not to laugh?”
The VIRTUAL SINGER tilts his head. Why would he ever laugh at someone asking for help? “Of course not.”
She peeks at him from between her fingers, then lets her hands drop to her lap with a sigh. “O-okay.” She takes a deep breath, curling her hands into tight fists. “I… I think… I might l-like someone.”
… Ah.
Kaito is briefly stunned into silence. Of all the things he could’ve guessed she would bring up, he has to say that this topic didn’t even cross his mind as a remote possibility.
Nene’s face, or what he can see of it hidden behind her hair, is starting to turn an alarming shade of red. Kaito can’t help but feel a little sorry for the girl; she clearly wishes the ground would just swallow her up this instant. He gives himself a shake and hurriedly goes into damage control mode.
“I see. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Nene-chan. Having feelings for someone is a wonderful thing.” She peers at him from behind her hair. He offers her an encouraging smile. “Is there something specific you wanted advice on?"
She seems to have decided that he's really not going to laugh at her. She lifts her head a little. "Th-that's the thing. I… I'm actually a little… confused. I've never really… liked someone, so I don't even really know if this is what that feels like." She fidgets a little with the hem of her skirt. "A-all I know is that one day I… suddenly started feeling some weird things every time I was around someone and… now I don't know what to do." She turns helpless eyes towards him, silently pleading for help.
Well, it's not like Kaito himself is particularly an expert on the subject of romance, but he can certainly at least try to help her out. "Well, for starters, can you describe these new feelings for me?"
Nene screws up her face in concentration. "Um… I get really nervous whenever I'm around him. Sometimes I get all shaky and my heart starts beating super fast for no reason." She bites her lip, thinking. "But it also feels… nice, in a weird way. Like… even though I feel nervous to be with him, I also feel happy and excited at the same time." She stops, then cups her cheeks in embarrassment. "D… did that make sense?"
Well, it certainly sounds like love. "And you've never felt these feelings before with this particular person?"
Nene shakes her head, hands still on her cheeks. "N-no. This is… a pretty recent development. I… it's weird because in all these years, I've never felt this way around him before. But now I can barely even make eye contact with him without feeling… weird."
Kaito nods thoughtfully, rubbing his chin, when – Hm? What did she just say? "In all these years"? That has to mean it's someone she's known for quite some time.
A long-time acquaintance. New feelings.
A vague picture begins forming in Kaito's mind.
"I see," he muses lightly. "May I ask when these feelings started? Did something in particular cause this development?"
Nene chews on her bottom lip for a moment, before saying uncertainly, "Yes… or, no. Nothing in particular… happened, I think. We see each other almost everyday because of…" She trails off, then suddenly shakes her head. "I-I mean… we see each other pretty often, but… one day… I-I don't know… something kind of just… clicked, I guess." Here, a light pink tinge starts rising in her cheeks, but nothing as concerning as the other previous shades she'd turned. "I… I realized that… I wouldn't mind if… I could always spend time with him… That… I'd be okay if even the ordinary moments with him could… l-last forever." She ducks her head as her voice drops to barely above a whisper. "Or… s-something like that."
So it's someone she also sees rather frequently. The pieces are falling into place now.
Kaito decides to run one last test before he comes to any conclusion. "And may I ask what kind of relationship you've had with this person thus far?"
She blinks. "Um… well, we're… pretty good friends, I think. We've, um, known each other for… some time now. He's been there for me through a lot of hard times, and he'd hear me out whenever I needed someone to talk to. And… of course I tried to do the same for him, too."
The last puzzle piece Kaito needed clicks triumphantly into place, leaving him with a crystal clear understanding of the situation at hand. He fights to keep the grin off his face.
"I see. Thank you for answering my questions. I think I understand everything quite clearly now."
The girl looks up at him hopefully. "So… so do you know what’s going on with me, Kaito-san?"
The VIRTUAL SINGER nods sagely. "Yes. It appears you really are in love, Nene-chan. Congratulations on your first love."
At first, she just stares at him blankly, not comprehending. Then, as the full meaning of his words sinks in, Nene flushes a violent shade of scarlet, all the way down to her neck, and she does her very best to pull a vanishing act behind her hair. A string of incomprehensible noises emerges from behind the green curtain.
Kaito chuckles. "Take a deep breath, Nene-chan. You're gonna be okay."
She shakes her head emphatically, face buried in her hands. “N… no, I… this… I can’t…”
He decides to prod some more; this might make things worse, but he can’t help it, he needs to know for sure. “And may I ask one more question?” At her tiny, wordless nod, he continues as tactfully as he can, “Correct me if I’m wrong but… by any chance, is the person in question… Rui-kun?”
At the mere mention of Rui’s name, all hell seems to break loose. If Kaito thought Nene was red before, that doesn’t even come close to the shade she turns now. Her eyes grow as big as saucers, as something between a squeak and a yelp escapes her lips. Her face once more dives down into her hands, and she shrinks back into the chair, trying to disappear from his view.
Well. That confirms it, then.
Kaito pats her sympathetically on the back. She’s starting to mumble some kind of mantra now, something that sounds a little like, “Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god…”
“It’s okay, Nene-chan. Take a deep breath. You’re okay.”
“Oh god, oh god, oh god…” She gulps desperately, and suddenly her head snaps up to face him. The poor girl is practically purple now, and there’s panic written all over her face. “K… Kaito-san… oh god… wh-what do I do !?”
He tilts his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I… I… what am I… supposed to even do ? I… oh god, I… I actually l-like Rui!?” As she hears the words coming out of her own mouth, she once again buries her face into her hands with a deep groan.
Kaito wonders if this is how everyone comes to terms with their own romantic feelings. Being a human seems tough. “Well… typically, I believe once you realize your own feelings, you would normally confess to the other person.”
He might as well have suggested she kill and eat an entire family of squirrels as a recreational activity. She stares at him for a moment in absolute horror, before she starts shaking her head furiously, her hair flaring out wildly. “N… no! I… oh god… I can’t…!”
The VIRTUAL SINGER gives her a moment to pull herself together, before he asks gently, “What makes you so afraid of liking Rui-kun? He’s a wonderful person, isn’t he?”
Nene addresses the ground, her eyes wide and fearful. “I…” She swallows hard. “Um… i-it’s… not that he’s not a wonderful p-person… He is, but…” Her hands grip the edge of her seat tightly. “I… can’t… confess to him. I just… can’t.”
Kaito hums contemplatively. “Is it because you don’t know how he feels?”
She flushes again. “W-well… that’s definitely… a big part of it. But… I’m mostly afraid that… if I c… confess, and he doesn’t feel the same way… he w-won’t want to be around me anymore, and… I’ll… ruin everything… again.” She whispers the last word, almost ashamed.
Kaito purses his lips. He somehow doubts that Rui doesn’t feel the same way about Nene. He’s seen the way he watches her when he thinks she’s not looking, and how his smile takes on a warm, gentle quality that never comes out with anyone else. But it’s not his place to tell her these things, and it’s not like he doesn’t understand where she’s coming from, either. So he instead continues patting her back in a steady, comforting rhythm. “I see. You must really value your friendship with him.”
She directs her gaze down into her lap once again, and nods. “I… I can’t lose him again. I…” Her hands ball up into fists, and she hunches over into herself further. “... I can’t, Kaito-san.”
The VIRTUAL SINGER leans back in his chair, looking up thoughtfully. “May I share some of my thoughts on the matter, Nene-chan? You can take everything I say with a grain of salt.”
She looks up hesitantly. “O… okay.”
He gives her a gentle, encouraging smile. “I can see how much you care about Rui-kun, and how much you don’t want to lose the friendship you already have with him. I think it’s only natural to be scared of the possibility of losing something so important to you.” He pauses as he considers the next words out of his mouth. “But I think you already knew what you were going to do, even before coming here to talk to me.”
Nene blinks, bewildered. “Um… wh… what do you mean…?”
“I’m saying that if you really didn’t know what to do, I don’t think you would’ve come here to SEKAI to ask me for advice.”
The girl gapes at him, speechless, her mouth formed into a stunned little “o”.
“After having watched over you and the rest of your group for some time now, I’d like to say I have a fairly good grasp of who all of you are.” He smiles. “I think you’re very self-aware, Nene-chan. And you’re far braver and stronger than you think. You don’t take any unnecessary actions, but you think through all your options carefully before choosing what you think will lead to the best outcome.”
Nene silently studies the floor, eyebrows knit together. He can practically see the wheels and cogs turning in her head.
Kaito continues lightly, “If you feel like you’re not sure what to do next, then I suggest you just do whatever comes naturally to you, whether that’s confessing to Rui-kun, or not. I’m sure whatever you choose to do, that’ll be the correct choice for you.” He smiles again. “At least, that’s what I believe, anyways.”
When he again mentions confessing to Rui, her cheeks turn slightly pink. But she bobs her head up and down slowly. Her face is still clouded with thoughts, but it’s a welcome change from the blind panic she’d been in earlier. Kaito personally takes it as a good sign. “O… okay. Thank you, Kaito-san. Um… for… for everything.”
He chuckles. “It’s my pleasure. Now then.” He stands up from his seat and offers her his hand. She takes it, and he pulls her to her feet. “Perhaps you should head home now. I’m sure you have plenty of things to think about.”
Nene laughs a little, and she looks the most like herself than she had all evening. “Y-yeah, I do. Okay.” She pauses, then bows to him gratefully. “Really, thank you again, Kaito-san. I… I’ll really think hard about everything you said.”
Kaito smiles. “Of course. You’re welcome to come back anytime.”
He waves her away as she stops the song playing on her phone and disappears in a flurry of shining triangles. Soon, it’s just him standing alone in the tent. He stands there for a moment longer, turning over everything that had just transpired in his mind, before he hoists himself back up onto the stage and resumes his task of cleaning up.
He chuckles to himself. As absolutely terrified, stuttering, and red-faced as Nene had been throughout their conversation, he has to say that he’d never seen a more perfect image of a girl in love.
He’s sure everything will turn out fine.
* * *
Nene plods along silently on her way home from school. By the time she’d warped back from SEKAI, she’d found the sun already setting, with everyone gone except for the sports clubs. She hadn’t meant to stay so long in SEKAI.
Well, she hadn’t meant for a lot of things to happen, really.
She scowls down at the pavement as she walks. So… what, she likes Rui now? As she feels the heat rising in her cheeks, the telltale sign of an oncoming blush, she shakes her head furiously, fighting to at least appear calm on the outside. How did this even happen? Why did this even happen? Why Rui , of all people?
If she’s being honest, she knows the answer already. Because it couldn’t be anyone else. No one else had been with her through all those painful moments. No one else could’ve helped her find her love for shows again, could make her feel so safe and calm and right.
If she thinks about it for longer than a second, she knows there’s just no one else she could like in that way.
Kaito had been right all along.
So then… what now? Does she tell him? Or not? Her stomach churns at even the mere thought of confessing to Rui. Despite everything Kaito had said about her already knowing what to do, the truth of the matter is, she really doesn’t. She knows realistically there’s only two possible outcomes – he’ll either accept her confession, or reject it. But when she thinks about how Rui might not feel the same way she does, that she might lose their friendship, might lose him … the fear paralyzes her.
And suddenly, she’s back in middle school, standing on a stage with a dozen bright lights zeroed in on her, feet glued to the floor and mouth rapidly drying as a hundred faceless people stare and stare and wait for her to say the words that won’t come to mind.
And she feels like throwing up.
“Nene?”
At the sound of her name, she blinks, and suddenly she’s not on a stage anymore, she’s standing on a weirdly blurry sidewalk. Another blink, and it becomes a little less blurry, and she catches a flash of something purple right in front of her. One more blink and it all comes back into focus, and her stomach twists itself into a pretzel as she locks eyes with the absolute last person (and somehow the exact person) she wants to see right now.
“R… Rui.”
It looks like he’s on his way home from somewhere, maybe the hardware store, judging by the big paper bag slung on his shoulder. He’s also changed out of his school uniform into a more casual outfit that’s the most horrible combination of colors she’s ever laid eyes on. But somehow the sight of him both puts her at ease and starts her heart tapping out a furious staccato in her chest.
Rui’s eyebrows are drawn together, concern for her clearly etched across his features. “Are you alright? You were just spacing out for a while there. And you look a little pale.” He reaches out and touches her forehead. “Are you feeling sick anywhere?”
Yes. His fingers are cool, but they leave a burning sensation against her skin. She flinches backward inadvertently. “Um… n-no, I’m fine. I was just… thinking about something.”
He studies her face. She can’t quite meet his eyes, so instead she focuses on readjusting the straps of her bag on her shoulder. “Are you sure?”
She nods. “Y… yeah.” Now that the random flashback and resulting nausea are fading from her memory, the nervousness is starting to take full charge over the rest of her emotions. She knows she’s going to start blushing any minute now, so she starts walking and quickly changes the topic. “Um… where are you… coming from?”
Rui raises an eyebrow, as he matches her pace easily. To her immense relief, he doesn’t pry any further, but instead replies with, “From the hardware store. I had to pick up a few extra parts for some props for our next show.” He regards her curiously. “And what about you? You’re out quite late. I was under the impression that Tsukasa-kun had canceled practice for today, and you don’t have another club meeting scheduled until next week, no?”
He knows her too well. Nene struggles with whether to lie to him or not, but eventually settles on a half-truth. “... I was at SEKAI. I… wanted to talk to Kaito-san about… something.”
Rui raises both eyebrows this time. “Oh?” A beat passes. “So was it a productive discussion?”
She makes a face. “Well… kind of.” That part’s true, at least.
He chuckles. “I see. Well, I’m glad.”
Nene looks up at him in confusion, before she drops her gaze as her heartbeat picks up once again. “Wh… what do you mean?”
Rui hums thoughtfully. “I’m happy to see you getting along with everyone. I was a little worried, actually. I know I’m not always around to help you, so I’m glad you’re relying on Kaito-san and the others.” He gives her an easy smile. “But I hope you know you can depend on me anytime. I may not have all the answers, but I’m more than happy to lend you a listening ear.”
Something warm and fuzzy and wonderful starts bubbling up inside her chest. Nene squeezes her bag straps. “Um… y-yeah. Thanks, Rui.”
He laughs breezily. “It’s my pleasure. What else are friends for, right?”
He stops walking, and Nene realizes that somehow they’ve reached their houses. He’s waiting for her to step inside first, as he always does, before he heads into his own home. How chivalrous of him.
As she turns back towards him to say goodbye, the setting sun finally drops behind the cityscape, and its last golden beams land right on Rui, dusting him momentarily in a soft, ethereal glow. He’s slouching slightly (he’s always had such bad posture), with one hand tucked loosely in his pocket and the other securing the paper bag at his shoulder. He looks the most relaxed she’s seen him in a while, with his eyes half-closed against the sunlight and his smile so warm and gentle and aimed directly at her. For a brief moment, she’s dazzled into silence. And as her heart swells almost to bursting, she realizes.
She does know what she needs to do.
She almost laughs out loud. Looks like Kaito was right about something else.
Rui tilts his head. “Nene?”
Nene takes a step towards him. Her heartbeat is practically deafening. Surely he can hear it too. Her hands are starting to shake now, and she clenches them into tight fists, feeling her nails dig into her palms.
She’s scared. She can’t think. She can’t breathe.
What if it all goes wrong?
As that thought crosses her mind, her knees buckle. She would’ve fallen right onto the pavement if he hadn’t lunged forward and caught her, one arm looped around her waist. “Nene…!” The bag that had been on his shoulder drops to the ground with a loud clatter, but it goes completely ignored by Rui, who’s only looking at her, mild panic and concern reflected so clearly in his eyes.
He’s so close. Closer than he’s ever been before.
Cradled into his chest like this, she can smell a distinct combination of soap and the oil he uses when he’s working on his robots and drones. For some reason, that’s what clears her mind the most. Even though she can hardly hear anything over the roar of her heartbeat in her own ears, and her stomach is doing the wildest, most Olympics-worthy somersaults and cartwheels, her mind is the clearest it’s been since leaving SEKAI.
“Are you okay? You’re burning up!” Rui lays his free hand on her forehead, and she doesn’t flinch away this time. “You should’ve told me you weren’t feeling well! Let’s get you inside –”
“N-no, Rui. I’m fine. Really.” And she means it. She pushes away from him and stands on her own. His hands hover uncertainly over her, prepared to catch her in case she falls again.
“A… are you sure?” His face says that he doesn’t believe her.
“Yeah.” She looks up at him and smiles, and she knows now, with certainty, that she likes him. She likes him a lot.
Rui’s still frowning though. “Let me at least walk you inside, okay?”
Nene takes a deep breath. “Okay, but… but first… there’s s-something I need to tell you.”
He fixes her with a puzzled glance. “Can’t it wait until we get you inside your house?”
She shakes her head. She likes him so much. “No, it can’t.” She takes another step forward, and grabs his hand in both of hers. His eyes widen as he looks down at their hands and back up at her.
“Ah – “
To hell with her fears. To hell with the what-if’s. She’s still shaking like a leaf, and her heart is still racing, and she almost feels nauseous again. She has no idea how this is going to go; for all she knows, everything might come crashing down around her. But she’ll throw herself headfirst into this and see where it takes her, because right now, this is what’s coming the most naturally to her right now.
“Rui, I…”
* * *
The next evening finds Kaito once again tidying up the stage after yet another successful performance. Len had flubbed one of his lines a little, but he’d recovered quickly enough, and his fellow cast members had smoothly covered for him with some ad-libs. Kaito reminds himself to praise Len for not losing his head in his brief moment of panic. And the stuffed animals had done a beautiful job with their song and dance performance. He’s proud of how much Rin has stepped up in leading them.
He’s humming the melody of the closing act’s song, when he hears a quiet cough coming from behind him. He turns around, and smiles. “Ah, Nene-chan.” Somehow, he’s not surprised to see her again today. “You’re back.”
Nene looks up and smiles shyly. “Y… yes. Um… “ She directs her gaze back down towards the ground. “I… I just wanted to thank you again for… all your help yesterday. Talking it out with you… really helped me straighten out my thoughts.”
Kaito nods. “I see. I’m glad I was able to be of service.” He tilts his head. “Did you come back for some more advice?”
“Oh, um…” Her cheeks redden as she fidgets a little with her hair. “Actually… I… don’t think I need advice on that… anymore.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Oh? Then does that mean –”
She turns completely crimson, and avoids meeting his gaze. “Y-yes.” She ducks her head, but he doesn’t miss the way her lips curl up into a happy smile. “Y… you were right about everything, Kaito-san. Th-thank you.”
Kaito chuckles warmly. “I see. Congratulations. I’m happy for you, Nene-chan.”
He knew everything would turn out fine.
Maybe he actually is an expert in romance after all.