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The room was spinning, and Buck seemed to have lost control of his legs, because they were just not doing what he wanted them to do. He tried to move forward and ended up going sideways. That was so weird. They’d never done that before. His feet were betraying him too, because they weren’t lifting up the same, they just kind of dragged and kept stumbling over the invisible obstacles on the floor. Somehow, though, he managed to get back to the table with two bright blue cocktails, decorated with a slice of pineapple, a cherry and a bright red paper umbrella, without spilling them. Score one to Buckley!
Placing them down, he slid one over to Josh, then picked out his cherry and licked it, trying to look seductive, but, from the amused look on his drinking buddy’s face, it wasn’t working, and he probably looked ridiculous.
“We should probably have some water after this.” He heard Josh yell, but he shook his head vigorously. Nuh uh, no water, just more of these fucking delicious cocktails.
“But seriously, fucking toxic masculinity. Fuck that. You go to a normal bar and order one of these and people look at you like...like ‘you shouldn’t be drinking that, that’s a girly drink, you should be drinking beer and shots and bourbon like a man!’ And like, screw that, these are much better. And they don’t even get you that drunk, because I am completely sober.” Buck ranted. He was not completely sober, but Josh was absolutely not going to bring that up. After the third one, he was staggering. After the fourth, he started to yell instead of talk at a normal volume, blaming the bar for being too loud. And now, during the fifth, he was complaining that the music was far too loud, and somehow far too fast. Like someone had pressed the 1.5x speed button on the jukebox, but wait, did that button even exist on a jukebox?
“I don’t think there is. I think it’s your ears!” Josh laughed, but Buck just waved his hand and leaned down to take another long sip of his drink.
“How can you not hear it? Like it should be going bum...bum...bum...not bumbumbum...” He argued, punctuating every “bum” with a tap on the table. “I’ve heard this song about a million times, I know how it goes, dammit!” As the song finished, he glanced over to the jukebox and cheered as he realised that his selection was coming up next. “Finally!” The opening bars of Bye Bye Bye started. A mixture of cheers and moans came from around them. “Backstreet Boys fans, tsk!” He muttered to himself. “NSync were always the superior boyband, and I will take no further arguments tonight about it. Although I could break out the PowerPoint to illustrate my point. Wait, does anyone wanna see my NSync vs Backstreet PowerPoint?” He yelled a little too loudly. Looking around, he caught the eye of the bartender, their regular one, Steve, who placed a finger to his lips.
“I think librarian Steve wants us to be quiet.” Josh giggled, downing the remains of his glass. “I think we should, because he will throw us out if we don’t.” That was indeed true. Steve had thrown out his share of drunken idiots in his time, in fact, he’d thrown Buck out more times than he cared to count, especially when he got like this. Drunk Buck had absolutely no filter, no volume button and, worst of all, didn’t know when to stop drinking. More than once, he had served him an orange juice and grenadine instead of the tequila sunrise that was requested, just so he didn’t have to go to the trouble of getting the bouncer to throw him into a cab again.
The song finished, and Buck let out a “boo”, but then quickly gasped as the next song, the one he’d forgotten he’d picked, started.
Love of my life, you’ve hurt me
You’ve broken my heart, and now you leave me...
“Fucking love this song! Everyone goes on about Bohemian Rhapsody or We Are The Champions, but this...this is a fucking masterpiece. It’s so simple, doesn’t need theatricals or gimmicks or to be over complicated, it’s just Freddie and a piano and...and it speaks to me in a way that no other song does.”
“Yeah, I see it. Wish I could find the love of my life. I’m over 40, dammit, and I haven’t even found anyone that I could see myself spending my life with. At least you have Eddie.” Josh sighed wistfully. “I see the two of you and it’s like...I mean you’re sweet together, I don’t know if I could do it, though.” Buck looked at him confused. He didn’t have Eddie, not even close. Anything that might have been between them had been gone for months, maybe even years now. And that only amounted to flirting (on Buck’s part), hugging, and one or two times that they maybe almost kissed but didn’t for some reason. “I mean, raising a kid together, totally platonic relationship, no sex, no kissing, no...nothing. I’d need all that in a relationship, but you...you seem to have it all figured out. I’m jealous.”
“I fucking wish I had all that with him, man. He is the love of my life. I mean, I thought I had it with Abby, but then he walked in and...fuck! And he’s straight! And why does this have to be so fucking hard? Why can’t I find a nice queer man to fall in love with instead of fucking Eddie Diaz, who’s so happy with his pretty girlfriend that his family love and approve of? Hey, wait, maybe me and you...” He trailed off, his hand waving between them. “We could try it. Again, I mean. You’re cute and everything, and we already slept together, so it wouldn’t be awkward and...”
“And it’d never work. We went on one date, Buck, and it didn’t end well.” Josh gently reminded him. They were way too far apart in personality, interests, everything. “I mean, the sex was good, but you know we’re better off friends.” Buck nodded slightly, his face falling for a second before he plastered the grin back on. “You’ll find someone. Or...or you should tell him. Call him, right now.”
“No, I can’t! He’ll be in bed already, he’s such an old man. And it’d ruin everything. He’d hate me, I’d never see Chris again, I’d have to move because it’d be so awkward at work...No, I can’t.” He sighed. “Wait, what are you doing with my phone?”
“Doing it for you!” Josh laughed, drunkenly scrolling down the contact list to the letter E, then frowning. “Why isn’t he on here?”
“Because I changed his name to ‘Sexy Ass’?” Buck giggled. “Oh, shit, Josh, don’t, please! Don’t call him!”
“Too late.” All Buck could do was sit and stare while Josh pressed the phone to his ear, then let out a sigh of relief as the words “he’s not answering” came out of his mouth. Thank God, the baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the little donkey, the three wise men and the innkeeper he rejoiced internally. The phone was slid back across the table, and he stared at it, waiting for it to ring back, for Eddie to call and ask what he needed. But it didn’t. In fact, he was so busy staring at it that he didn’t hear Josh calling his name urgently, or the figure creeping up behind him until a pair of strong arms were around his chest. “Who...wait, I know that tattoo...what...?” He stammered, tilting his head up, his baby blue eyes meeting a pair of familiar brown ones.
“Come on, my drunken cowboy, home time. Steve called me to come and pick you up, he said you were causing a scene. Something about your taste in music and having access to the jukebox...” Eddie laughed. Having been in Buck’s car many, many times, he knew that his choices could be a little...eclectic, to say the least. It wasn’t unusual to hear Taylor Swift followed by My Chemical Romance, followed by Michael Buble, followed by Five Seconds Of Summer. He really didn’t want to know what Buck had chosen in his drunken state that would annoy everyone.
“My taste in music is fine, thank you very much!” Well, it was. Some people just didn’t appreciate good taste. Like mister “but I like dad rock, thank you very much” behind him. Bon Jovi? John Mellencamp? Come on, what age was he? “And I’m not drunk, I’m fine!”
“Yeah, you look it.” Eddie muttered as Buck stood up and stumbled forward, almost knocking him over. Catching him, he held him steady for a few moments, probably a little longer than he should have, and then nudged him upright. “You OK to get home, Josh?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, I’ll get an Uber once I’ve finished this one. Take your man home and put him to bed.” Josh winked.
“Alright, just text me when you’re home.” Always the dad, Buck thought, and that’s one of the things he loved about Eddie. He always looked out for everyone. Who else would come and pick him up at...he glanced at his watch, then screwed up his eyes, opened them, and looked again.
“It’s after midnight?” The question wasn’t aimed at anyone, but Eddie nodded anyway as he led him out of the door and into the cold night air. “I’m sorry, you had to come all this way to get me. I’m a bad friend. You probably hate me now.”
“No, Buck, I don’t.” Eddie took a deep breath, and maybe this was the coward’s way to do this, while Buck was drunk, while he might not even remember it in the morning. But it had been building up for so long that he felt he might explode if he didn’t say it soon. “I don’t hate you. The opposite actually, I love you. You are everything to me, and I want you in ways that you probably don’t want me. And it kills me to know that. I wish I could be happy with the way things are between us, but I’m not. And I know you’ve had far too much alcohol, but the Buck I know loses his filter when he’s drunk, so I really need to know, to find out if...if what we have now is what you want, or if this...thing I’ve been feeling between us lately...not even lately, over the past five years, dios , five years...If it’s just me that feels it, or if you want more too. And if you don’t...”
He was cut off abruptly with a pair of lips pressed against his own. And he thought about pulling away, but the thought crossed his mind that this might be the only time he would ever get to do this. So, he went with it, letting the other man push him up against the wall and run his hands up his Henley.
“Eds, I...fuck...” Buck gasped as he eventually pulled away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...I love you so much, you are the love of my life. I want this, I need this, I need you, forever. Wow, forever is a really long time.” Climbing into Eddie’s truck, he threw himself back onto the seat and sighed. “A really really long time.”
“Yes, yes it is. And we can talk about forever in the morning, but let’s get home, OK?” Tomorrow morning would be a really interesting conversation, especially as he didn’t know exactly how much of this one Buck would remember. But, he thought as he started the engine, it was going to be a good one.