Work Text:
Dick rolled his eyes. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
“Yes you are.” Jason replied.
“Seriously, Dick. It’s a terrible idea.” Tim said.
“No, it’s not! Steph, back me up!”
She wrinkled her nose. “No can do. Your idea sucks. Besides, what would Alfred think?”
“All I want to do is make Bruce a surprise meal for his birthday.”
“Which is a terrible idea.” Tim said. “At least it is if you make it. Jason could probably do it.”
“Fine. Jason can make the main meal. I’ll make dessert.”
Tim dropped his head into his hands. This conversation was eating up too many of his brain cells. At this rate, he’d have to borrow some from Babs.
“Look, Dick. If we said yes, what would you even make?” Steph asked.
“Gummy bear and skittle cookies.”
There was silence for a moment before chaos erupted.
“That’s disgusting!”
“Who would even want to eat those!”
“Are you trying to give everyone diabetes!”
“Alfred would hate that!”
“Where did you even get that idea!”
“This is why you;re banned from the kitchen!”
“Okay, okay, okay. Fine. I won’t make that recipe.”
“You won’t make any recipe.” Tim said.
Dick pouted. “What if–”
“No!”
“I could–”
“No!”
“I just wanted to do something special for Bruce.”
“We get it, Dick. But cooking’s not… cooking isn't your thing. Why don’t you make something for him?” Tim said.
“Damian’s already making him a card.” Dick slumped.
“You could make buy something for him, like a mug or some tea or–”
“I’ve got it! Thanks for the ideas guys!” Dick said running out of the room.
Jason, Tim, and Steph looked at each other.
“Should we…” Tim started.
“As long as he’s not trying to use the kitchen, I don’t care.” Jason said.
“Yeah, it’s probably better to just let him do his thing. It couldn’t be that bad.” Steph said.