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Nico was running away from something. What it was, he had no idea. It was making some awful sounding noise, reminding Nico of something from Tartarus.
He kept running through the dark woods, but he felt like he was in slow motion and the thing chasing him was going super fast.
Eventually, Nico tripped over a branch and woke up.
Nico laid there, staring up at his ceiling. The plastic glow-in-the-dark stars he had hung up were glowing faintly. They reminded Nico of Will, and that made Nico’s chest ache.
In some part of his dream/nightmare/whatever-it-was, Will was hurt. Really badly. He was bleeding out and Nico kept trying and trying. His hands were moving too slow and Will’s blood was running so fast.
But, Will was okay. Hopefully. He was sleeping in the Apollo cabin. Everything should be fine.
Nico wanted to wrap his arms around Will and never let go. He’s too scared to lose him. Whether it’s because he bleeds out and Nico can’t save him, or because maybe Nico doesn’t feel like a good enough boyfriend. Both seem like very awful reasons.
Nico turned over, glancing at his clock. It was early morning, around 5am. He felt awful. His whole body felt too heavy for him. He didn’t want to get up, but he also didn’t want to have to deal with whatever dream his mind would throw at him.
Nico’s nightmares and dreams were disturbing. They were like a big mix of all his fears and intrusive thoughts turned into some visual novel he was forced to watch.
There were some nights Nico woke up absolutely disgusted with himself for ever thinking certain things. Even if he didn’t do it willingly.
Nico sat up in his bed, wrapping his arms around himself. He was wearing his favorite soft black sweatshirt. He sighed, getting out of bed.
His fuzzy skeleton pajama pants fell down to his ankles. He walked over to his bathroom, even though he was too mentally and physically exhausted to even do anything in there.
He went to the bathroom, then stared at himself in the mirror after washing his hands. He pulled up his sweatshirt, analyzing his skinny, scar-covered torso.
There was his huge claw mark scar around his shoulder. That one finally healed after months. There were others from various weapons and monsters.
Then there were his self-inflicted ones.
Nico hates to admit it but he definitely has a bad habit. A habit of grabbing some random sharp object closest to him and cutting up his body after every small and minor inconvenience.
He seriously knows he needs to stop, but when he’s angry or upset or overstimulated the urge is right there. The sharp objects are right there.
Will knows about all this. He said Nico should try and talk to Chiron or Mr. D. But Nico would rather die than open up about his thoughts and feelings with someone other than his close-knit group. (That group being Hazel, Will, Reyna, and Jason.)
Nico let go of his sweatshirt and watched it cover all of the scars. It’s like nothing was even there.
Nico brushed his teeth and put jeans on. He quickly put on his converse, grabbed his journal and sword, and left his cabin. He doesn’t want to stay in his cabin right now, not after that image of Will dying in the middle of his floor.
One of the moments of his dream that night made him revolt with nausea. It was so fucking distgusting and upsetting.
Sometimes the intrusive dreams are mild. Sometimes they’re absolutely awful and make Nico feel like a creepy, perverted, monster.
That being said, some of the dreams (nightmares?) involve sexual situations he didn’t ask for. With people he definitely doesn’t want to ever see in a situation like that.
It makes him feel disgusted. That he would ever even imagine that. Will would tell him: “It’s not your fault, Nico. You can’t control the things that happen in your dreams. It’s not always things you want.” …and he's right.
But, is Nico going to always believe that? No, not after having another dream like that.
Nico wandered into the forest, the autumn air chilly and the sky still mostly dark.
He had his sword with him if he ever needed to fight something. But, he feels like the only thing he’ll be fighting is himself.
Nico walked for a bit, finding a nice spot under a tree. He opened his journal and started angrily writing out his thoughts. The words looked barely legible but at least he knew what it meant.
Nico filled up four pages before his hand started cramping. He closed the journal, shoving it back in his pocket.
Nico took a deep breath. He tried calming himself down, listening to the sounds of the birds chirping and the wind blowing.
A gust of wind made him shiver under his sweatshirt. Nico got up, his feet crunching the colorful autumn leaves that were under him. He took his sword and walked back to camp.
Nico quickly walked up to the training arena, eager to slash up some training dummies.
Nico slashed and stabbed a dummy right in the chest. This was the next best way for Nico to let out his anger rather than slashing at his own chest.
Once he destroyed a couple training dummies, he walked over to one of the benches and sat down.
He was out of breath and honestly sort of dizzy. He barely noticed as his boyfriend approached him and sat down next to him.
“Hey, Nico? You okay?” Will asked, worried.
“What?” Nico asked, trying to focus on Will.
“Are you feeling okay today?” His boyfriend asked.
“...No. I had a dream you were hurt, like really hurt. And I had another intrusive thought sneak into my nightmares.” Nico said, staring at Will's shoes. He was wearing crocs, which seemed very on-brand for him.
“Can I touch you?” Will asked softly.
Nico nodded.
Will wrapped his arms around Nico’s shoulders, hugging him.
“Did you write it out or fight it out?” Will asked into Nico’s shoulder.
“Both. You see those dummies over there?” Nico asked, laughing lightly.
“I do. Have you been okay to yourself?” Will then asked, pulling away from the hug.
Will scooched closer to Nico, squeezing his hand.
“I think so. I didn’t hurt myself.” Nico whispered.
“That's good. Want to do something with me today?” Will asked, a small but sweet smile on his cute face.
“Like what?” Nico asked, squeezing Will’s hand.
“I thought we could watch a show or something.”
Nico smiled. “Let me guess, you want to watch Dr. Pimple Popper.”
Will laughed. “Uhm, yeah. Unless you wanna watch something else.”
“No, Pimple Popper is fine. Which cabin?” Nico asked.
“Yours. Unless you want my siblings to watch it with us.”
“I love your siblings but I am feeling like cuddling today.” Nico said quietly.
“Alright.” Will smiled.
Will brought the Apollo Cabin’s contraband laptop to the Hades cabin and opened up Dr. Pimple Popper.
Will was already wearing his pajamas, as he had just got out of bed before finding Nico.
Nico changed back into his comfy pants and they laid together with the laptop propped up so they could see the screen.
At some point during the episode, Nico snuggled into Will’s chest and took a deep breath. Will smelled like citrus and some other nice comforting scent.
Will played with Nico’s hair, twirling parts around his finger over and over again.
Nico doesn’t know why he felt like Will would leave him earlier, when now he feels the safest and happiest he’s been in a while. Will looks happy too.
They continue watching the grossly-satisfying show as they both drift off to sleep. With Will here, he hopes to not have to battle his own thoughts. Things will be okay, at least for now.