Work Text:
They have a physical relationship. That’s what Date calls it, anyway.
It’s a lot more complicated than that.
What do you call a relationship where you do everything a couple would do, just shy of kissing and sex? What do you call it when you desperately want those two things? What do you call it when you’re just some loser with a hopeless, unrequited crush?
Those are the questions that roll around in Ryuki’s mind on Sunday morning, when he wakes to find Date laying there next to him, fast asleep.
He’s maskless at the moment. By this point, Ryuki is used to both of the faces he wears, not really caring how Date appears around him because, in his heart, he knows that the man before him is still his Date. He fell in love with the kind, gentle, intelligent man who took Ryuki under his wing with no hesitation. The smile and the stretch of his shoulders and the gait of his walk and everything else all came later.
All of that is to say that he loves Date for being himself. Though, admittedly, he is very physically attractive. More than Ryuki could ever confess aloud.
Absently, Ryuki brushes a strand of hair from Date’s relaxed face. It’s become a habit now, when they’re laying together like this and Date is fast asleep. It gives Ryuki a better view.
Ryuki stares at him for another half an hour, imagining what it would be like to trace each one of Date’s features - the kinds of textures and shapes he would feel beneath his fingertips as he touched every centimetre of skin - and how Date would react. If Ryuki did it now, would he be horrified? Scared? Disgusted?
It terrifies Ryuki just thinking about it. His world would be utterly bleak without Date.
The only thing that disturbs him from his thoughts is Tama. She’s fully charged and ready for the day, gently poking at his mind to get his attention.
Morning.
Hey, Sunshine. Time to get up.
She’s always gentle when Date’s around. When he’d first developed a crush on the man, she’d told him repeatedly to get his shit together and ask him out (not that he's ever admitted any kind of attraction), but as the years have gone by, she’s left him to pine on his own. She listens to him talk about Date and doesn’t chide him for how freakish he probably seems over his crush, but Ryuki can tell that she’s at the point where she’s expecting for his heart to get broken.
So, he gets up, slots Tama into his eye socket and begins to get himself ready for a lazy end to the week.
—
He’s at work now and for no reason at all, he feels fucking terrible. Yesterday, Date had left his home at around noon (which was fairly standard) and he’d spent the afternoon watching old shows he liked when he was younger.
It crosses his mind that the shows were potentially triggering for him, yet it also seems highly unlikely. Besides, he’s watched that kind of stuff in the past with no problems.
Regardless, he woke up feeling depressive and suicidal as all hell and it hasn’t gone away yet. Usually sitting in the break room and drinking tea while chatting with Tama could soothe these episodes, but today it hasn’t worked, leaving him with a headache by the time lunch rolls around.
Today is one of those (usual) days he doesn’t get to see Date during his break. He also accidentally knocks over his thermos and spills the contents all over the table. He also stubs his toe on the table leg as he walks past to leave the break room.
Today is not his day.
Regardless of how awful he feels, he gets back to work, filling out forms and typing in documents, allowing himself to tune out as his hands do all the work. It’s numbing, writing out his name a million times over and watching as his to-do list becomes smaller and smaller. It’s the kind of numbness that he finds almost enjoyable, if not for the niggling thought in the back of his mind that he should go to the bathroom and have a good cry. His brow furrows, holding the thought in a chokehold as if that will kill it and make it go away, the ache in his head growing from the pressure.
Ryuki, maybe it’s time we take a break?
Ryuki nods, stands from his chair and leaves his office without a word.
His head is pounding as he walks through the hallways, heading for the only place he can bear to be other than his bed: Date’s office.
It’s only a little bigger than Ryuki’s office, but the furniture is arranged to make it seem more spacious. There’s a small couch, then Date’s desk, and a cork board/whiteboard combination taking up an entire wall, but otherwise, the place is quite bare.
When Ryuki enters the room, Date’s head flicks up. A smile spreads across his face.
“You okay?” Date asks him.
Ryuki shakes his head. “I feel like shit.”
Date regards him for a moment, expression suddenly serious. It’s as though he is reading Ryuki’s mind. “Go and sit down. I just need to finish something up.”
Ryuki obliges, half-stumbling over to the couch and dropping onto it, sighing as the cushion sinks slightly beneath him. He leans his head back and closes his eyes as he listens to the clicks of Date typing away on his keyboard. Everything in his body feels heavy and weak, like his head may just topple off his shoulders or like his fingers are made of stone.
The typing stops and a second later, he feels the couch dip beside him as Date sits down. He mumbles a greeting and before he can say anything else, he’s lifted up and placed on Date’s lap, his shoulder curled against Date’s chest and his waist cradled by one of Date’s arms.
Come to think of it, when Ryuki had walked into this office, Date had looked exhausted, too. Now that he has a closer view, he scans over Date’s face, able to notice the puffiness beneath his eyes and the dull hold of his jaw, both signs which indicate a particularly sleepless night, as Ryuki has learnt over the years.
“Are you okay?” he asks, combing through every detail of Date’s expression. Despite how much the man hates liars, he’s never had an issue with bending the truth surrounding his well being. Ryuki is fully expecting a lie.
“I’ve felt better.” It’s a truth, but not one that answers the question. A dusting of flush spreads across Date’s cheeks, a clear indicator he’s holding a lot back, his brow furrowed just-so.
Tama, are you able to get any readings on Mr Date?
His body temp is high, but I can’t access any readings beyond that without Aiba’s help. Judging by his expression, I’d say he’s trying his best not to totally lie out of his ass, but there’s a lot he’s not telling you.
Ryuki figured as much.
Instead of calling Date out, he reaches up to wrap his arm around Date’s neck. Date holds him closer in response.
The firm pressure around his waist triggers a deep sense of relief to flood through him. Before he can process anything else, a lump builds at the back of his throat and tears come to his eyes.
He buries his face into Date’s shoulder as a tear slides down his cheek, letting the warmth of skin overwhelm him before he can begin openly sobbing. Date hums out a comforting note, one Ryuki knows is not intended to hush him, and rubs Ryuki’s side. It’s as though he knows that this is weeks upon weeks’ worth of tears coming out.
“I’ve got you,” Date murmurs.
His hand moves away from Ryuki’s waist, instead gently cupping the back of his head. A moment later, his lips are pressed to Ryuki’s forehead, leaving a soft kiss.
With that, the lump in Ryuki’s throat begins to rapidly dissipate. He holds Date close as his sniffles die down, focusing on the gentle rise and fall of Date’s chest against his shoulder. He retreats from the black hole of his mind and then realises something:
Date just kissed him.
“Are you still with me, Ryuki?” Date asks, his voice distant in Ryuki’s ear as his body goes rigid. A slight jostle, then, “Ryuki? Ryuki!”
Ryuki snaps back to reality. “Sorry just- just an intrusive thought.” He doesn’t want to lie to Date, but more importantly, he doesn’t want to make the other man feel awkward. It’s perfectly normal to comfort your friends in that way; it’s just Ryuki’s mind that is misinterpreting, hoping for something more. He’s stupid, so fucking stupid and he needs to calm down.
I’m here if you need me. Just breathe, take your time.
Hearing Tama’s voice makes the pounding of his heart begin to cease, slowing down once more.
I’m okay. I just wasn’t expecting… that.
There’s an odd heat radiating from Tama. It’s not painful, but it’s not unlike the buzz of electricity she emits before she zaps him.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to overreact.
It’s okay. You haven’t done anything wrong.
He isn’t sure if he believes her, still able to feel her pulse inside his eye socket, but there’s no point in getting into an argument that will lead her to actually zapping him. Whatever is bothering Tama, he’s sure he’ll hear about it sooner or later.
Date is still holding him tightly.
“Mr Date, if- if you ever want to talk, I’m here,” Ryuki says. The irony of his voice being muffled by Date’s shoulder isn’t lost on him.
Date stiffens slightly. He’s silent for a long moment, clearly thinking of how to answer. He relaxes again. “Thanks, Yuki.”
Usually, Date only calls him that when he’s drunk. It sounds overly cute-sy, coming from him, but Ryuki can’t help the blush that comes to his cheeks every time he hears it. If Date could call him ‘Yuki’ forever… well, he wouldn’t be upset, that’s for sure.
They stay curled up on the couch for a long while after that. Neither of them say anything more - they don’t have to. Both of them can see that the other is feeling better by the second.
When Ryuki leaves Date’s office, he feels much better. If Tama still feels angry, she doesn’t mention it. If Ryuki is still tingling from the kiss on his forehead, he doesn’t mention it either.
They walk in silence back to Ryuki’s office, where he finishes off his tasks for the day. When he heads home and goes to sleep that night, he dreams of Date.