Chapter Text
It’s not that Shen Qingqiu dislikes Qian Cao…in fact, he often finds himself visiting to chat with Mu Qingfang. While he got along with all of his fellow peak lords, not all of them shared his interest in plants and wildlife. But Mu Qingfang was one of the few that did, although his focus was more on the medicinal aspects. It wasn’t uncommon for him to catch up with the other man once a week. So no, he didn’t dislike Qian Cao. What he did dislike, was finding himself on the peak because of his partner’s tendency to return injured from missions. It always led to him watching Liu Qingge anxiously and only lecturing the man on safety once he knew he was fine.
Shen Qingqiu lets out a small, humorless laugh. If only Liu Qingge were awake to hear one of his lectures again.
He sits in an uncomfortable wooden chair beside Liu Qingge who lies in bed, still unconscious. He watches the way his chest rises and falls with his slow breathing. Liu Qingge is dressed down to his inner robes and his dark hair is loose around his head, down from his usual ponytail. He reaches out and begins stroking the man’s hair, pushing it from his face.
Liu Qingge had been unconscious for the past three days, from the time Shen Qingqiu had found him until now. His skin was no longer the ghastly pale it had been before but there was still no sign of him waking. He moves his hand from his hair gently strokes his cheek and lets his thumb rub over the man’s beauty mark. He sighs as he does so, exhaustion weighing him down. Shen Qingqiu had occupied one of the bedside chairs since he’d brought Liu Qingge to Qian Cao. For three days he’s sat vigil over his partner, waiting for him to wake. The other peak lords had tried to get him to leave, telling him he needed to rest. When they did manage to chase him off, he only returned to Qing Jing to bathe and check on his disciples before flying back to Liu Qingge’s side.
After the first few attempts, they stopped trying to make him stay at his peak longer.
Shen Qingqiu keeps his eyes on Liu Qingge, so he doesn’t notice that someone has come in until they’re standing right next to him. He turns and sees Mu Qingfang standing with a tray of food in his hands. “Shen-shixiong,” He greets quietly as he holds the tray out to him.
“Thank you, Mu-shidi,” He takes the tray gratefully before turning to set it on the bedside table. Once he does, he turns back to Mu Qingfang who’s giving him a disappointed look.
“Shixiong, that food is meant for you,” He says, sounding like he’s speaking to a child.
“I appreciate the concern, but I’m not hungry,” Shen Qingqiu answers, “But Qingge will be when he wakes up.”
Mu Qingfang seems less than pleased with his response, but he doesn’t say anything else about it. Instead, he moves to the other side of Liu Qingge’s bed and takes a seat in the other chair. He grabs Liu Qingge’s arm and presses two fingers to his pulse point. Shen Qingqiu watches anxiously as the man silently works. After a moment, he pulls his fingers away and sets his arm down.
“Well? Is he okay?” Shen Qingqiu asks quickly.
Mu Qingfang shoots him a reassuring smile, “He’s the same as before. Physically, he’s fine.”
The man’s answer should bring him some relief, but it doesn’t. His hands ball into fists in his lap, “Then why…why won’t he wake up?”
Pity fills Mu Qingfang’s eyes and he shakes his head, “I’m not sure shixiong. Until we know what caused this, there’s no way to determine when he’ll wake up.” He’s heard this explanation several times before but each time it feels like a punch in the gut. Seeing the look on his face, the healer continues, “But we’re confident he will wake up. It’s just a matter of when.”
He takes a deep breath before nodding. He’s not sure what else he can say, so instead he stays silent. Mu Qingfang must take it as a sign to move on and he begins to ask about Liu Mingyan, “Has his sister come to see him again?”
Shen Qingqiu nods. “Yes…she was here this morning but couldn’t stay for long. Zhangmen-shixiong also visited briefly,” He adds.
Mu Qingfang nods and proceeds to give him an update on the state of the sect. Most of it is gossip that Shen Qingqiu would normally be excited to hear but then it turns to his own peak. Apparently, both Ning Yingying and Ming Fan had tried to visit at some point in the day, but he’d been fast asleep, upright in his chair. Guilt churns in his stomach thinking about his disciples worrying about him. But the thought of Liu Qingge waking up alone and confused has kept him here this long and he’s sure they understand. Mu Qingfang kept speaking for some time, his voice soothing in a way fitting of a healer. By the time he stands to leave, Shen Qingqiu’s eyelids feel heavy.
“I’ll return in a little bit,” Mu Qingfang tells him, “If you need anything, come get me.”
He nods silently and watches the man walk out of the room. Only once the door shuts, does he turn his gaze back on Liu Qingge. After a moment, he scoots his chair closer to the bed. He lays his head down on the bed, with one arm underneath it and the other reaching for Liu Qingge’s hand. With his eyes still trained on his partner, he threads his fingers through Liu Qingge’s with practiced ease. He squeezes the man’s hand with his own and hopes that maybe the sensation of their hands laced together will wake him up.
--
Shen Qingqiu’s eyes flutter open and he slowly lifts his head, confusion muddling his thoughts. He looks around the room and realizes he’s still on Qian Cao. The sky is dark outside and there’s a lamp lit. He looks down and sees Liu Qingge and their hands still joined. He uses his other hand to rub his eyes as his memories slowly come back. He must have fallen asleep when he laid his head down. He starts to extract his hand from Liu Qingge’s when he suddenly freezes. He waits a few moments silently but when nothing happens, he exhales. For a moment he thought…
His thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of Liu Qingge’s hand squeezing his own. He sucks in a breath and waits. Again, Liu Qingge squeezes his hand, this time there’s more force behind it. Shen Qingqiu pulls his hand loose and jumps out of his seat before rushing out of the room. In his panic, he slams Mu Qingfang’s office door open. The healer is startled awake and sits up looking disoriented. The man had taken to sleeping in his nearby office to stay close by in case of an emergency with Liu Qingge.
Before Mu Qingfang can say anything, Shen Qingqiu blurts out, “He’s awake! Liu Qingge’s awake!”
Mu Qingfang’s eyes widen, and he quickly rises to follow after him. In the hallway, they run into a disciple who Mu Qingfang instructs to alert Yue Qingyuan and Liu Mingyan. As soon as the disciple nods and takes off, they continue to Liu Qingge’s room. Shen Qingqiu is quick to run back to his bedside, quickly taking the man’s hand again. The healer moves to the other side and watches Liu Qingge closely. After a moment of them watching him silently, Mu Qingfang glances up at him with a confused expression.
“He squeezed my hand, twice!” He explains.
Mu Qingfang frowns but turns his attention back to Liu Qingge. He takes hold of Liu Qingge’s hand similar to how Shen Qingqiu is holding the other and waits. A minute goes by with no movement from Liu Qingge and his anxiety begins to rise. He looks at Mu Qingfang who eventually releases Liu Qingge’s hand and looks at him again. There’s an odd look in his eyes that he can’t quite place. “Wait, you haven’t felt it yet!” He protests.
Mu Qingfang sighs, “Shixiong…”
Shen Qingqiu feels a flash of irritation. “What?” He asks tiredly.
“Shixiong…you’re tired. You haven’t been sleeping or eating,” Mu Qingfang says carefully.
“I’m fine,” He says dismissively.
“You’re not,” Mu Qingfang says a little more forcefully, “You’re not fine and I think there’s a chance you just thought you felt him squeeze your hand.”
It’s only then that Shen Qingqiu recognizes the look in the other man’s eyes. It’s the same look a parent would have while explaining something to a small child as simply as they can. The irritation from before comes back at full force. “I know what I felt!” He snaps. He then turns back to Liu Qingge. He leans over the other man and brings his hands up to cup his face. “Qingge…” He whispers, “It’s time to wake up.”
“Shixiong,” Mu Qingfang starts, his voice more gentle this time, “You need to rest. Perhaps it’s best if you return to your peak and rest there. At least for a few hours.”
Bitterness burns in his chest at the man’s words, but it’s quickly tempered by his despair looking at Liu Qingge. His eyes flutter shut but he can’t bring himself to move away from his partner. He lets his forehead rest gently against Liu Qingge’s, the warmth of his skin reassuring. He thinks about how this must look to Mu Qingfang who’s gone silent. When the other peak lords get wind of this, they’ll probably renew their efforts to make him go home. They’ll chalk it up him being out of his mind with grief.
But he knows what he felt. He lifts his head and pulls away from Liu Qingge, standing upright and looking back at Mu Qingfang. “I’m going to stay,” He tells him, leaving no room for argument.
Again, Mu Qingfang sighs, “That-”
“…-qiu…”
He and Mu Qingfang both freeze. They wait with bated breath, their gazes back on Liu Qingge.
“…Qing…qiu…”
This time they see his mouth move as the words slip from his mouth. Mu Qingfang watches, stunned for a moment before getting closer to the man. Shen Qingqiu does the same, watching anxiously. After a moment, Liu Qingge’s eyelids begin to twitch, fluttering as though he’s about to awaken. He bites his lip, “Qingge, come on…it’s time to wake up.” The words come out soft and desperate but somehow, it ends up working.
Liu Qingge’s eyes slowly open, revealing confused grey eyes. Shen Qingqiu feels a lump form in his throat, and he gives the man a watery smile. Liu Qingge tries to look around the room, a frown marring his face. Mu Qingfang quickly speaks up. “Shidi, please relax. You’re on Qian Cao and you’ve been unconscious for three days,” He explains. Liu Qingge stares at him for a moment before trying to sit up. Mu Qingfang sighs but doesn’t stop him. He helps Liu Qingge sit up in the bed only releasing him once he’s sure he’s steady.
Now that Liu Qingge is properly up and awake, Shen Qingqiu reaches out for Liu Qingge’s hand. As soon as his fingers graze his hand, Liu Qingge pulls away like he’s been burned. Shen Qingqiu reels back like he’s been slapped, his eyes going wide in surprise. Even Mu Qingfang is watching them looking startled.
Liu Qingge’s eyes narrow, and his frown deepens, “What the hell are you doing here?”
He gapes at the question and looks to Mu Qingfang for help. The healer jumps in quickly. “Shidi, do you remember what happened?”
Liu Qingge’s brows furrow and he brings a hand to his head. He rubs his temple silently for a moment before answering. “I…I…” His face scrunches in concentration, “I was in the Lingxi cave…” The moment the words leave his mouth, Shen Qingqiu’s blood runs cold. Without thinking he takes a step back from the bed. Liu Qingge sees his movement and quickly stares him down again. When he doesn’t say anything, Liu Qingge continues. “…That’s all I can remember.”
Mu Qingfang’s eyes are filled with pity as he looks at Shen Qingqiu. He wants nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. “I see…” the healer says, “Shen-shixiong, perhaps-”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Liu Qingge interrupts sounding irritated, “What the hell is he doing here?”
He already knows the answer to his question, but Shen Qingqiu desperately needs to hear him say it. “Qingge…you don’t remember…?” He doesn’t know how to finish the question. Remember what? Him? The years they’ve spent together? The day Liu Qingge had confessed to him? Or the countless courting gifts Liu Qingge had insisted on giving him? Their wedding? The quiet days in the bamboo house, enjoying each other’s presence? Us? But he can’t force any of the words out.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Liu Qingge bites out, Shen Qingqiu’s silence only incensing him further.
His world’s just been flipped upside down in an instant. He can’t look away from those stormy grey eyes as his body feels like it’s become numb. His eyes have become hot and suddenly the room feels like it’s closing in on him. He stumbles back a few steps. “I…I should go,” The words come out strained.
“Shen-shixiong-” Mu Qingfang calls but he spins on his heel and runs out of the room.
He hurries out of the infirmary and the cool air hits him as soon as he makes it outside. As he runs away, he suddenly slams into something solid. He looks up and sees Yue Qingyuan staring at him with a worried look on his face. He’s holding onto his shoulders as if trying to steady him. “Xi-Shen-shidi, what’s wrong?” He asks.
“Nothing,” He answers quickly, looking away from the sect leader. He really can’t handle those wide, caring eyes of his right now. The comfort and kindness the man exuded might send him into a full-blown breakdown. So he pushes away from the man, “Liu Qingge is awake. Zhangmen-shixiong should go see him.” And with that, he moves around the man and hurries off. He summons Xiu Ya and leaps onto it, speeding off to Qing Jing Peak, only distantly aware of the voices calling after him.
--
He makes it back to his peak in record time. He steps off of Xiu Ya as quietly as he can before silently walking to the bamboo house. He’s careful not to alert any of his disciples that he’s back. When he’s finally back inside their home, he gently shuts the door before listlessly walking to the bedroom. He collapses onto the bed, too tired to change out of his clothes. His eyes fall onto the empty space next to him. He reaches out his hand to touch the blankets. They’re cold which isn’t unexpected, but it doesn’t stop the tears from forming in his eyes. He quickly blinks them away and curls in on himself.
Before he can let himself get lost in his despair, a thought comes to him. Shang Qinghua, Airplane, had created a world full of scary things with any number of effects. But none of them were ever meant to be permanent. They only existed for the sake of the plot, something for the protagonist to overcome. Odds were that Liu Qingge had just unsuspectingly stumbled into a wife plot. He smiles weakly at the thought of how Liu Qingge will react to this when he recovers his memories. It’s not the first time he’s been under the effects of some plant or device.
As he lays in bed, his eyelids fall shut and he lets out a deep breath. In the morning they’ll be able to figure out a plan for how to heal Liu Qingge but for now, he’s content to let sleep take him.