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Barry tried to keep his harsh breathing to a low minimum. He focused on the rhythm of his rapid heartbeat instead of the low groans and screams that seem to echo throughout the abandoned house. He was sitting down in the corner of the room, cradling a shotgun to his chest as he tried to regain his breath. It seems that nowadays all he has been doing is running, hiding, and surviving in this zombie infested world.
"That was cutting it a little too close Barry." A voice interrupted him from his thoughts. He felt his body stiffen up and he knew that he was in trouble.
"Yeah I know it was but it was just a few minor mistakes. I got out alright with little injuries, Eddie." Barry answered back to the owner of the voice. He kept his gaze on his worn down red converse.
"Few minor mistakes? Barry, you hesitated to shoot down a walker that was gunning for you. You are getting sloppy and don't you dare think that I haven't noticed that you have been purposely putting your life in danger." Eddie scolded the tired brunet. Barry grimaced and noticed from the corner of his eyes that Eddie was walking closer to where he was sitting at.
"I’m not doing anything on purpose Eddie! It was one of those silly mistakes. I didn't have my thoughts together in this mission. It won’t happen again okay?" Barry weakly defended himself from the blonde's wrath. He turned to glare out the dirty window. The sun was going to be setting soon and he wasn't near home base yet. Which is not a good thing since walkers are more active at night than they are in the morning. He bet that his group was worried sick right now.
"Barry! I am talking to you." Eddie's voice snapped him from his thoughts once again.
"What do you want from me Eddie?" He asked tiredly as he continued to avoid looking at Eddie.
"I want to know why you are suddenly giving up." Eddie quietly begged the distressed brunet. Barry felt his body tremble from Eddie's request and he looked down at his torn up jeans. He was silent for a while before giving Eddie an answer.
"You know why Eddie." Barry whispered as he placed his shotgun to the floor. He heard Eddie scoff at his answer.
"That's not a good enough reason for you to end your life Barry." Eddie hissed and Barry couldn't help but feel a burst of anger.
"Yes it is Eddie. It’s my fault that it happened. If I was fast enough maybe I could have....maybe you would still..." Barry whimpered to himself and placed his hands on his face and squeezed his eyes shut. It's been 6 months and he was still not ready.
"Barry, look at me." Eddie gently said to the trembling figure. Barry shook his head, murmuring a no. He was starting to hear that sound again. That horrible sound. Drip. Drip. Drip.
"Barry, please look at me." Eddie begged again but Barry continued to ignore him. Barry twitched when he felt hands gently cover his wrist. He took a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself and lowered his hands away from his face. He slowly opened his eyes to look at the man in front of him. The first thing Barry saw when his eyes finally cleared were Eddie's bright blue eyes. Those are the eyes he fell for. They revealed whatever Eddie was feeling: love, happiness, embarrassment, sadness, anger, or fear. Drip. Drip. Drip. Barry finally focused on the rest of the details of the blondes face. There are those pink lips that form that gentle smile Barry loves so much, that he knows how they feel pressed against his. Those little wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles. Drip. Drip. Drip. Barry tries with all his might not to look anywhere else. He tries not to look at the infected bite mark on Eddie's wrist. He tries to ignore the gaping wound on Eddie's chest that constantly keeps pouring out blood. Drip. Drip. Drip. He kept all of his focus on the blonde's face even though he was aware of everything else that was wrong with this Eddie.
"Bar...You are killing yourself with this." Eddie murmured gently as he placed his hands on the sides of Barry's cheeks. "You can't keep going on with this. You have to let me go." Eddie pleaded Barry who immediately rejected that idea.
"No! Eddie no...You can’t expect me to...I can’t do that! You can't make me do that!" Barry sobbed as tears slid down his cheeks. Eddie shushed the crying man and smiled sadly.
"Barry you have to do this...if not for you then please do it for my sake. I won't rest knowing that I was the reason you gave up your life." Eddie explained as he ran his fingers through Barry's hair. Barry's lips trembled as he faintly felt the touch but only as if it were a distant memory.
"I don't care Eddie. I’m so tired and all I want to do is rest." Barry glanced at the shotgun that rested on the floorboard. "I have a chance to end it. I have a chance to be with you again. I want to be with you. Please I can’t go through this by myself, not without you." Barry whimpered as he slowly started to reach for the gun next to him. He stopped however when he heard Eddie scream.
"Barry no! Don't you even dare consider ending your life!" Eddie forced Barry to look only at him. "I know you are tired Bar and I know you want to be with me. I want to be with you, I do, but you can't leave Iris and Joe alone. You can't leave Caitlin and Cisco. Do you remember them Barry? They are all still alive and they need you Barry. Like it or not you still need them too. You will never forgive yourself if you left them wondering what happened to you." Eddie explained to the crying brunet who stared at him with a heart broken expression. Barry's shoulders shook as he took in the words and regretfully agreed with Eddie's points. He stared into Eddie's eyes and struggled to contain his sobs.
"He took you away from me. Why did Wells take you away from me? We could have helped you." Barry bawled out as he leaned forward to rest on Eddie's chest. He ignored the gaping wound right next to his head. Drip. Drip. Drip. But of course the sound of the blood dripping was unavoidable.
"Wells thought it was safer for the group since I was bitten. You knew it was too late for me. You saw what had happened to the other victims." Eddie whispered.
"He shot you down like a dog!" Barry gritted out. "He didn't even consult with us about his plan. He didn't even care about anyone but himself. He was just using us. He wasn't even the person who he said he was." Barry paused to take a breath before continuing. "I feel guilty for shooting that man. I feel anger and betrayal. Will I ever get better?" Barry whispered to the blonde. He had a sense a dread forming in his stomach. He shut his eyes and listened to what Eddie was saying. Drip. Drip.
"I don't know Barry but what I do know is that you still have people that love you. People who care about what you are feeling and are waiting for you at this very moment. What's done is done and you have to move on Barry. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You have to let me go and return back to base. You need to protect them and let yourself be cared for. Stop trying to hold things in." Eddie told Barry who tried to contain a sob that wanted to escape from his mouth. "You need to help them continue on the research to find the cure. There is still hope out there. Please don't lose it." Eddie begged quietly. Drip. Drip.
"Okay Eddie." Barry whispered as he nodded his head on Eddie's chest. "I'll keep on going. I'll keep fighting." He promised to the blonde as well as to himself. Barry didn't' see the blonde smile in relief. Drip. Drip.
"That’s my Bar. I knew you would do the right thing. I'll always be watching over you." Eddie lovingly said and Barry felt his lips tremble. "I love you Barry." Eddie whispered into his ear. Drip.
Barry eyes shot wide open and was meet with an empty room. Hid eyes darted back and forth to find his lover with no such luck. The dam broke inside of Barry and he was bawling hard on the cold floor. Barry wrapped his arms around his legs and rocked back and forth. The silence was appalling to Barry to the point that he strangely missed the dripping sound.
"I love you Eddie." He cried out loud knowing he wouldn’t receive an answer back.