Chapter Text
It was the middle of the night on a damp, dreary Monday evening; the atmosphere was thick in the hospital meeting room where Tim sat across from a doctor who had just delivered news that ultimately changed Tim’s life forever. Tim was no stranger to traumatic events, everyone knew that, but this was something he really didn’t know how to comprehend, he was staring; wide eyed at the floor, almost dissociating, avoiding anything the doctor was saying to him.
Tim’s mind was racing; he felt many feelings at once, so many that he couldn’t focus on just one; his body shook; he was pale and looked almost shellshocked, unable to speak; blink or breathe normally. He looked defeated.
“Mr Wright?” the emergency room doctor said, concern in his voice, “I know this is.. Difficult but I have to make sure you’re understanding what I’m saying..” he put his hand on Tim’s shoulder which seemingly pulled Tim out of the trance like state he was in, he looked at the doctor and then back at the spot on the floor, tears rolled out of his wide eyes. He nodded.
“Y-Yeah.. S-she's.. Meg’s gone.. My wife is gone” Tim sobbed, he put his hands over his eyes; sobbing into his hands. His mind was racing, thinking back to all the events of the previous few days; asking what if questions “What if I had taken her here sooner?” “What if I’d noticed something was off?” every what if scenario possible was zooming through his grief-stricken mind as he blamed himself for this awful tragedy.
Tim closed his eyes; thinking back to when they first arrived at the hospital, he smiled softly as he remembered Meg’s soft face; even though she was in great pain; she still smiled and cracked jokes here and there which Tim loved, He was always the one stressing out and having to take his medicine to calm down yet Meg’s calm attitude always bought him back from the edge.
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He recalls vividly; time skipping in his mind; when Meg was placed in her hospital room; he held her hand so tightly and rubbed it with his thumb, whilst staring up at her beautiful pale face.
“I-It hurts.. So much..” Meg sobbed to him, he heard her voice so clear, he smiled.
“I know baby.. I know.. I wish I could take this pain away from you.. God I wish I could and I know you’re scared but Im here, Soon this will all be over, I’ll protect you..”
“I’ll protect you”
“I’ll protect you”
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Those three words going around in Tim’s brain like an annoying TV commercial smothered with false advertising; smothered with lies.
Time skipped in his mind yet again, He saw his wife, Laying on the bed, pale, hurting and shaking, he recalls her sweaty hair and how it stuck to her face; how he didn’t care about the heat and sweat as he leant down and kissed her beautiful forehead.
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“Okay Meg, you need to push one last time..” The doctor said encouragingly; Tim smiled sweetly at Meg, comforting her and encouraging her.
“Push.. You can do it! Oh Meggy im so proud of you angel..”
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Time skipped in his mind for a final time; muffled cries of a small child filled the room, but so did a ringing in Tim’s ears as he stared at his wife’s wide open eyes, his eyes looking down at the large pool of blood that drenched the sheets, then back up to his Wife’s face, he felt her hand; startled by the coldness of her skin.
“Time of death; 3:00am”
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Tim felt himself coming back into reality now, still dazed and unable to accept this event, he was shaky and broken. The doctor sighed compassionately once again; this was tough even for the seasoned doctor, he paused a little as he watched the tears trickle down Tim’s face.
“Your daughter.. She survived.. She's been treated by our nurses; she had slight fluid retention in her little lungs but that’s all been removed now, she's on breathing apparatus but she’s doing well..” The doctor told Tim, hoping to instil some hope into Tim’s sorrowful night, Tim didn’t react, he just continued to stare down at the floor.
The door opened, In came a nurse, holding a small bundle inside of a blanket; It was the blanket that Tim had handpicked especially, Tim looked up, a small gasp escaped his lips.
“Sorry to interrupt” Said the nurse, almost in a slight whisper “But I thought... That little baby girl might want to come and have some cuddles with her daddy..” She walked over and placed the baby in Tim’s arms gently and softly.
The baby made a few small noises as she was placed; Tim was still shaking but stared down at the new life that had been placed in his arms, he looked at her tiny hands, her tiny, closed eyes, her tiny nose and mouth.
“O-Oh my god..” Tim whimpered; his voice cracking slightly “W-What are we gonna do huh..? I cant do this on my own.. I-I just cant..” he felt the warmth of his tears spilling down his face as he held his little baby close to him. It was if his heart had been filled and emptied at the same time.
The nurse sat next to Tim “Does baby have a name..?” she asked sweetly “We cant keep calling her baby girl Wright now can we?” she smiled at Tim, Tim continued looking down at the baby, trying to think his mind back to when he and his wife were thinking of baby names.
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“You know, I really like the idea of honouring your friends..” he remembered Meg saying.
“Huh?” Tim asked her; rubbing her bump gently as he did so “What do you mean?” Meg giggled and smiled up to him.
“Well.. You always talk about Brian and Jay.. And how much you loved them with all your heart.. Why don’t we honour them by naming our little peanut after them?”
Tim’s eyes lit up “Seriously?” he said happily “I mean.. Yeah.. I’d love that..”
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Tim’s mind shifted back to the present yet again, he stroked the back of the baby’s head with his thumb, just looking down at her as he spoke “I mean.. We thought we were having a boy.. So.. We were gonna call him Brian-Jay.. After two of my close friends that I lost.. But she’s a whole surprise for sure..” Tim chuckles sadly, still slightly in shock that what he's holding is his child.
The nurse smiled gently “Did they.. Pass away?” She asked respectfully, Tim felt himself tearing up again, still stroking the little baby with his thumb, rocking her gently.
“Brian did.. Well.. I’m not actually sure.. I cant remember exactly what happened, sometimes my mind plays tricks on me regarding Brian.. But.. Hes gone regardless..” Tim said, his mind drifting to an image of the hooded figure of whom he was sure was Brian laying flat on the floor; blood pooling around his head from the fall, he coughed a bit; pulling himself out of the dark thoughts plaguing him right now.
“I-I see.. And Jay?” The nurse asked “What happened to Jay..”
Tim sighed, the baby shifted her head slightly and made some adorable noises as she slept peacefully in her dad’s warm embrace, he sniffled as some tears fell out of his eyes once again, Tired and exhausted; he tried to think back to the last time he saw Jay.
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“I don’t think we should see each other again...” Jay said, fiddling with his sweater sleeves nervously; looking over at Tim. “Every time I look at you.. I’m reminded about everything that’s happened and I just.. I’m grateful that you saved my life Tim but... I'm sorry..”
Tim nodded sadly.
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“he moved..” Tim replied to the nurse “You see a string of really awful events happened, I saved Jay’s life but I may or may not have been the direct cause of everything and.. He couldn’t bear the thought of being in my life anymore... he moved away.. I haven't heard from him in 5 years..”
The nurse didn’t understand but she was trying to offer some comfort to the grief-stricken new father “I have a name suggestion that still allows you to honour your friends” she tells Tim, Tim looked up at her briefly.
“Yeah?” Tim looked down at his little one once again “What might that be?”
“How about; Brianna-Jay?” The nurse suggested “Brianna is the female equivalent of Brian and Jay is gender neutral so..?”
Tim looked at the baby, continuing to cradle her softly “Brianna-Jay huh?” he smiled weakly “yeah.. Its pretty.. I like it..”
“I’m sure your wife would have loved it too Tim” Said the nurse, Tim gasped; the nurse didn’t mean to harm him with that comment but god.. It stung; His eyes began to well up with tears again, he started to panic a little bit.
“T-That’s right.. Aha.. Meg died.. Shes not here to.. To be apart of this.. Shes not here to watch Brianna-Jay grow up.. Shes not.. Shes not here anymore...” Tim started to shake, his eye twitched a little bit; he felt... angry... angry at the world, angry at god if there even was one.. Angry at.. Brianna-Jay.. He looked down at his little baby, feeling such intense hatred for something so innocent, “Its.. Its all your fault.. You.. Parasite..” Tim spat “You took the love of my life from me.. You.. You killed the only person I had left in this shitty fucking world!”
The nurse was aware of Tim’s mental health struggles, she started to become worried for Brianna-Jay’s Safety, she slowly stood up, walking over to the father and daughter as cautiously as she could.
“Tim.. Please.. Try and calm yourself before you hurt the baby..” The nurse said worriedly; she pressed a button on the wall which acted as a panic button “I-I know you’re hurting.. But.. Its not baby Brianna-Jay's fault...” Tim shook violently; sobbing, the nurse was sure he was having an episode or very close to having one, she took the baby from Tim’s arms and held her safely; Brianna started to cry loudly; it seemed as if the tense emotions could be felt by her even though she was only a few hours old, the nurse cuddled her close “shhh.. Its okay.. Daddy’s hurting.. You're safe”
Two security guards enter the room as Tim bursts into painful tears, he sobbed hard, looking down at the floor as he did so, he couldn’t believe what he’d just done and said, how close he was from hurting someone who was new to this world.
The nurse looked up at the security guards, she spoke quietly so that Tim wouldn’t hear her over the sound of his own painful cries and the cries of little Brianna-Jay “Watch him please. I’m afraid for his safety; he has schizophrenia and his wife just passed away in childbirth, he’s extremely vulnerable... If anything happens alert Psych...” she then turns round to Tim “Tim.. Please try and call someone, anyone.. You need support right now.. I'm taking Brianna-Jay back to her unit.. You can see her again once you feel okay enough...” she then left the room, Brianna’s little cries becoming quieter and quieter as they trickled off down the hall.
Tim slowly calmed down, his heart was racing fast, he felt sick, how could he have felt those awful feelings towards a life he made, towards something so precious, so beautiful? He thought about the nurses words.
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“You need support right now”
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She wasn’t wrong, but who did he have? Tim didn’t have anyone... he had some acquaintances but ever since the ordeal with Alex and the Operator; trusting someone was a rare luxury. Tim wasn’t particularly close with Meg’s friends either; he just didn’t trust them, Sure he’d hang out with them and even liked a few of them but no he’d never trust them; after all Meg was just as fucked up as he was; who knows the kind of people she’d befriend?
Tim and Meg had met 4 years ago after Tim finally agreed to go to group therapy, she was in the same sessions as him; a sex trafficking survivor with trust issues that rivalled his, still she was always so much more charismatic as him, she could make friends so easily but even so; Tim never really knew who her real friends were and he sure as hell wasn’t about to call some random person for help.
Tim shakily took out his phone, he felt the eyes of the security on him at all time, he deserved it; he felt like a risk to himself right now; he was glad they were there because his shoelaces and the window beams seemed enticing to him. He scrolled through the names of people he had in his phone; excluding people he knew he didn’t want to call or just couldn’t; the list of no’s were endless. Then he saw it.
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"Jay"
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Tim’s eyes widened and he gasped a little bit, he forgot that he’d saved jay’s phone number all those years ago; Jay had given it to him when they started working on Marble Hornets so they could keep up with each other and send filming schedules etcetera.. Tim hesitated; he hovered his finger over the call button, It probably wasn’t even the same number anymore to reach Jay on.. And even if it did ring.. Would Jay pick up..? Jay had made it very clear 5 years ago that he wanted nothing to do with Tim.. It was probably going to be useless for him to try and call.... but.... what if there was a slim chance he would pick up the phone...?
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“Fuck it”
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Tim pressed the call button and held the phone up to his ear, he wated for a second as it connected and to his surprise the phone began ringing, he gasped; his red, sore, puffy eyes burned as he held the phone up to his ear with a shaky hand, the nauseous, nervous feeling reappeared in his stomach, he took a breath. Then he heard it. A voice. A familiar voice on the other end of the line.
…
“Hello?”
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