Chapter Text
In all her five-year tenure as the assistant head nurse in the Paradise Postpartum Care Center, Petra thought she had seen it all.
After graduating from nursing school and working a brief stint at the local hospital, Petra decided something just wasn’t right. She loved the rush and adrenaline of doing new things every day—that was what got her into the medical field in the first place—and she especially loved working in the OBGYN department helping new moms and holding cute little babies.
The job did come with graveyard shifts, ear-deafening screaming and death grips in the delivery room, tons of questions from the patients and their families, and the rotten cherry on top, cleaning. A lot of cleaning. I mean, she couldn’t blame the new moms. They literally just eject a few kilograms of body mass out of their body and that surely came with some nasty effects. It had its worst moments, but she liked it enough there that she had second thoughts about resigning.
Her own mom used to be the local midwife in their hometown, so she’d figured being a nurse had been a life calling after all. But then entering her fourth year, she’d grown tired. Call her weak or whatever, but her joints and back were killing her, and she deadass knew someone in her age shouldn’t be feeling that already. So when the job offer came to become a resident nurse in a fancy postpartum center in the upper neighborhood where celebrities and rich wives came after giving birth, well, Petra took it in a heartbeat. The place was new, the pay was excellent, the hours were good, the services were top-notch, and the patients were all high-class women… What could go wrong?
Sometimes, she wondered if it was better to get drenched in bodily fluids in the OR instead of this.
Well, she’d made her choice. No going back now.
Okay, to be fair, it wasn’t all that bad. She was still working here after all, she wasn’t going to shit on her workplace. The medical thingy itself was fine. She’d used to it. Surprise not surprise, it was the patients. In the hospital, she’d seen the patients and their families intensively for two weeks max, maybe only a few more months for a few long-terms. Here, however, oh they made it their home.
There were three categories of women that fell under her care. And sometimes, all three types were thrown in the same care group and that was when it usually went downhill.
First type: experienced mothers. Usually here after their second birth because they already experienced the literal hell of not having sufficient postpartum care for their first. Did people really just expect new moms to be up and running after their pregnancy and birth? And not to mention having to suffer breastfeeding and literal body changes and hormonal imbalance and baby bonding and useless husbands?! God if she heard one more person telling her that her work didn’t matter, she’d hit them with a tree. For real.
That was why this first category was her favorite. The moms already knew what they were doing and what was happening, the only difference being that they got real help this time. The center provided almost everything. For a couple sessions per week for a few months, they helped their patients heal physically and mentally with exercises, healthy diet, enough rest, leisure activities, and their favorite thing to do here, the hot stone yoga and massage with their equally hot everyone’s girl crush yoga instructor, Ymir. They also had counselling sessions, baby care classes like how to diaper change and prepare food, movie nights, nature trek, and more. And the best thing was, while the moms were recovering, their babies were taken care of by Petra and the other staff. They also had a doctor, the also equally hot Dr. Smith, doing round the clock supervision.
The experienced mothers also usually acted as mentors to the new moms, which thankfully helped lessen some of Petra’s work. They were mostly in their early to late 30s and already had a strong support system back at home. The husbands also visited a lot during the overnight stays and they also offer a father’s bonding sessions with their children and other parents. Petra loved this type of moms. Sure, they were often busy with their careers and were only using this center as more of a short vacation than an actual postpartum care, but at least they were already ‘experts’ and didn’t take long to adapt back to post-birth life.
That was why Petra was shocked to meet one of her new patients, a 40-ish something career woman turned new mom with twins who seemed equally as shocked as her that she was here.
Her name was Hange. And just to get it out of the way first, Petra thought she looked so much younger than her age, probably because she had been living child-free for the past twenty years… until now.
Based on her file, Hange was recommended by Dr. Smith because her age came with risky measures and side-effects as she didn’t heal as fast as young moms. Hange told her the pregnancy was a complete surprise since she and her husband wasn’t really expecting after they gave up trying years and years ago. But even though several doctors said it was considered high risk due to her advanced maternal age and high blood pressure, she still wanted her baby. Well, babies. She had a set of twins, a son and a daughter. A pair of absolute joy and nightmare, to be honest.
Hange was a fun mom. She quickly learned the ropes and bonded with her babies instantly. She was also an excellent cook and liked to share homemade recipes to the other patients. Hange came over during the weekends as she was working as a lab researcher at the university and slept at the center until she went back to work next Monday. Her twins were usually with her too, and while she worked during the weekdays, they were at the center’s daycare. When Petra asked her if no one could take care of the babies at home, Hange just said that her husband and family were busy and it was better for her babies to be here rather than at home.
Petra’s gut feelings told her something was going on at Hange’s home. And coupled with the fact that she never saw Hange’s husband, not even once, or her parents or in-laws, she held on with her suspicions.
Another patient, a bubbly girl named Sasha, told her that she once saw old bruises in Hange’s arms during one of the massage sessions. But when Petra asked Hange again, Hange just told her that she was clumsy when assembling a new crib and brushed it off.
Nurse Petra then turned into Detective Petra.
Her main source was Sasha, since she was a student staying near the university Hange worked at. Sasha’s story was quite a hilarious one, something that Sasha herself also never got over with. She was a rising student athlete in archery who also got unexpectedly pregnant after a drunken one-night stand. And to make it worse, it wasn’t with a random guy. It was with her own best friend Connie. She’d considered abortion before, but then change her mind because she saw how happy Connie was. And she was happy too, in a strange ticklish way, because she knew she wouldn’t want anyone else to be her baby’s father other than her amazing and loving best friend. They weren’t dating anyway, Sasha made it clear over and over again, they just decided to co-parent.
Connie was the one who checked Sasha to the center as he wanted her to have a relaxing me-time after giving birth. Sasha said it was probably because he was feeling guilty for making her pregnant and leading her to cancel her tournaments and the national championship. And though Sasha never regretted having her beautiful baby daughter and thought Connie’s worries were pointless, she felt touched nevertheless and agreed to come here.
Sasha fell into the second category: the new moms. You know, bunch of questions, unnecessary worries, either too calm or too stressed out, go by the book moms vs go with the flow moms, and so on. Thankfully Sasha was a relatively calm and easy new mom as she had grown up in a big family and helped raised her younger siblings. She followed through the routine effortlessly, made friends with everyone and anyone, and was starting her new semester soon. Even the dad, Connie, was more nervous than she was whenever he visited.
The only problem was that, as a budding athlete with a bright future ahead her, Sasha was pushing her body too much. She told Petra she aimed to make the next championship no matter what and wouldn’t let her new life as a mom get in the way for her dream. She said, if she could have both equally, why not? Petra did agree with that as she believed moms shouldn’t sacrifice their lives just because they had babies, but she didn’t agree with how Sasha often ended up hurting herself recklessly. Yes, she now had a rocking sexy body compared to the other moms, but it was turning into an unhealthy obsession to get back in shape.
On the opposite spectrum from Sasha was Historia, a rich heiress who had been doing absolutely nothing during her time at the center. She just lounged around, which was good in a way, but Historia’s passiveness and dilly-dallying was bordering on post-partum depression. They had Historia checked with a psychiatrist then, which was how Petra knew that the little blonde was in an arranged marriage with another rich family and actually didn’t want to have children. Her fucked up situation seemed to be the root of her depression.
Petra started to treat her kinder and with full attentiveness afterward. The world wasn’t kind to Historia, so she could try to be a kind presence in her life, even if Petra knew she couldn’t really do much. Who actually made a huge impact was surprisingly Ymir. She saw Historia smiling more often after every yoga session and Ymir also spent her spare time hanging out with Historia and her tiny itty bity baby daughter.
Historia fell somewhere between the first and second category, mainly because she left her daughter’s care mostly to the nurses. She just agreed to whatever the doctors suggested. From others’ perspectives, she might look like a bad mother. But Petra had been working here for years and she’d seen so many stories. Historia’s case wasn’t even the worst one. As long as Historia and her baby were doing okay and safe, she’d take that as a win.
Another patient who was in therapy like Historia was another young woman named Mikasa. Now this was… a peculiar case, even to Petra’s standard, who had seen some pretty strange shit during her four years here.
They had their handful share of single moms, of course, and she was grateful her fellow staff were never judgmental or discriminative. They even paid more special attention to all single moms out there because their burden just doubled.
When Mikasa arrived at the center, just a few weeks after giving birth to a handsome baby boy, she was accompanied by a man they all thought was her husband. But after another look, both looked too similar and they found out her guardian, Levi, was actually her cousin and that Mikasa just moved back to her hometown after getting pregnant. Petra sort of knew this Levi guy. He owned a little tea house near the river, which was never empty and Petra had been dying to try out their specialty but could never during rush hour.
Mikasa was a quiet and reserved girl, but Petra could say her motherly instincts were even better than some experienced moms. From their conversations, which grew from polite small talks to an almost heart-to-heart, Petra learned that Mikasa dropped out of school suddenly after her pregnancy revelation without even saying goodbye to her friends, something that she regretted up to this day. She didn’t miss college, but she missed the hustle of city’s life and knowing that her life would just roll from one point to another without really thinking it. Her pregnancy changed everything. She had to uproot her comfortable routine and adapt to this little slow city that Mikasa said was too quiet for her loud thoughts. Being here reminded her of her parents’ tragic deaths and the trauma of having to move away when Levi sent her to live with their aunt. Mikasa said she understood Levi’s reasoning, but it still hurt her that it seemed he didn’t need her. And now thrown back into her haunting memories with a new baby and a new life, sometimes Mikasa completely shut herself off. Petra had seen it before. The way her eyes would dim in a blink and she would bury her face into the ratty old scarf she always wore. When that happened, Petra knew not to bother her.
She tried asking about the baby’s father, emphasis on tried, because even then it took Petra a lot of doubt whether to ask or not. Could be another traumatic experience for Mikasa and she’d grown to love the girl so much like her own sister that she didn’t want to be the cause of her pain. Mikasa told her it was fine and she didn’t need to worry because she didn’t think she will see her baby’s father ever again. That man was in her past, she said, and now she was ready to move on to the future with her child.
Mikasa lies somewhat also between the first and second categories. She started out just like the other new moms, but she was like a prodigy and learned everything so quickly. She and Sasha bonded well together as the unmarried young moms and Petra thought she also heard Sasha already planning the wedding of their babies. Historia slowly warmed up to the girls too because of Ymir’s influence. And lastly, Hange, who didn’t really suit well with the older moms and preferred to be with the girls.
So now here they all were, in the group mom and baby yoga stretching session with Ymir doing some crazy maneuver on the front, Historia watching her with literal hearts on her usually bored eyes, Hange trying to do the movement and flailing around, Sasha acing it as always and even doing little variations, and Mikasa following every steps perfectly like the prodigy she was. Then Ymir moved to the mom-baby combo movement and that was when hell started to break loose when the babies began getting uncomfortable and hot and fussy. Except Mikasa’s baby of course, that boy was as perfectionist (and Petra dare to say borderline ambitious) as his mom. She again wondered who the dad was to have little Settsu packed with such godlike genes.
In the middle of Sasha’s frustrated crying and one of Hange’s twins throwing up onto her mom, the door to the training room opened and revealed Petra’s colleague Nifa with a blonde young woman trailing awkwardly behind.
“Petra?” Nifa called and pointed out to the person behind her. “This is Ms. Leonhart. She just joined in today so I’m showing her around. Annie, do you want to stay and watch our yoga session for a bit before we go to your room?”
Annie slowly nodded and stepped in. She was wearing an oversized grey hoodie that swallowed her petite frame and was holding her sleeping baby in one arm. From a glance, Petra deducted Annie as a second category. Looked undoubtedly still young, around Mikasa’s age, expression flat but with visible worry lines, eyes nervous darting around the room and meeting the girls, body stance cautious like she was ready to dash out at any given time.
Overprotective mom. Probably didn’t want to be here but was forced to by her husband, and Petra knew she had a husband by the ring on her finger, and defensive, and looked completely at lost and alone.
That was when Petra knew for sure this Annie girl was just right at where she should be.
“Welcome, Annie!”
The girls welcomed Annie enthusiastically during their next group sharing session. And although Annie still didn’t say much, Petra had a feeling she was getting more comfortable as time passed. She had a brief panic attack when they took her baby to nap time, but after Hange soothed her and said she herself needed some time off, Annie visibly relaxed and agreed to come to the session.
“So, let’s do a short introduction round since Annie’s new here. Hange, do you mind going first?” Petra began.
Hange, sitting on her right side, nodded excitedly. “Hi, girls. Hi, Annie. I’m Hange, forty years old, hehe, quite old to be here, I know.” (“You’re still our sexy mommy, Hange.” “Thanks, Sasha.”) “I never expect I’m going to have children at this age, but well, here am I! I have twins, Elijah and Elena. They’re the complete opposite, but they also always throw the biggest tantrum when they’re separated. Twins are weird.”
“And what do you do, Hange?”
“I’m a research professor on bioengineering at the University of Paradis.”
“Human experiments,” Historia quipped unhelpfully. “That’s where dead babies go. Her lab.”
“Sometimes I wonder what’s going on inside that empty brain of yours, Hisu.”
“My head might be in the clouds, but at least I’m smart enough not to fuck my own best friend, Sash.”
“Okay, that’s my cue.” Sasha rolled her eyes and swallowed her last mouthful of potato she most certainly stole from the pantry. “I’m Sasha. I also go to the U of P, I’m a senior there.”
First words that came from Annie were: “And you really fuck your best friend and got pregnant?”
“Yup. Not the best choice of life, for sure, but I love my baby and Connie’s a great dad! He’s my best friend for a reason. It’s scary at first, and awkward as fuck, but now if I look back again, I can’t imagine anyone else but him to be my Anya’s dad.”
“Only ‘best friend’, huh?” Historia said.
“For the million times, yes. Can you really imagine me as a wife? His wife? Getting married?! That’s even scarier.”
“How is Connie doing so far, Sasha?” Petra steered back the conversation. “Is he adapting well?”
“I think so. Our families are great, they help a lot, so we’re thankful of that.”
“That’s good to know. It’s very important to have a strong support system back at home. Your parents can be helpful as they already went through this process before, and your partners as well. Remember, you are not only adapting to a new motherhood life, but in your relationship or married life too. Couples also tend to suffer some issues during the early months, so please also focus on your relationship. A happy family starts with a happy teamwork between the mom and dad!”
It was only when she ended her mini passionate speech it dawned on her what she just said. Particularly, to what she just said in front of a certain someone.
Not everyone here had a partner.
Her eyes fell on Mikasa across from her. The young raven-haired girl was still sitting quietly in her perfect posture, her expression calm and unbothered. It was Sasha next to Mikasa who had a panic look, but after a glare from Petra, thankfully stayed quiet.
Petra wanted to kill herself.
And as she slowly mulled it over in her frantic head, she also realized it wasn’t only Mikasa she probably offended. It could also be Hange and her absentee (abusive?) husband. Could also be Historia and her husband she openly despised. And she didn’t even know Annie’s situation!
She was definitely out of her mind today.
To her surprise, it was Annie who broke the tense pause. “And how do I that? I found it… difficult to balance being a wife and a mother.”
“I got that feeling too,” Hange gently said. “How is your husband doing?”
“That’s the problem,” Annie sighed. “He’s doing amazing. It’s like he is destined to be a dad or something. It’s me, I’m the one who screws up. I think coming here is a mistake.”
“Why do you think you screw up?” Mikasa asked.
“Everything I did felt wrong. Is wrong. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. And worse part is I become mean and rude to Armin, my husband, when all he did was just trying to help. He doesn’t deserve that.”
“And you didn’t deserve feeling that way too, Annie,” Sasha said. “It’s totally normal feeling that way, so don’t beat yourself up!”
“No, it’s not normal.” Annie snapped. “Everyone around me is saying it should come naturally. Being a mom. It’s how you become a good mom.”
“Have you tried getting someone else to help? A family? A babysitter?”
“I’m not leaving my child to a stranger.”
Historia scoffed. “Because you don’t trust them?”
“Well, yes.”
“You don’t even trust yourself,” Historia added. “Look, what Sasha said is true. Every one of us feel that way at first. You can be the most experienced mom out there and you’re still going to worry. So don’t try too hard on how to become a ‘good’ mom. Just try to be your child’s mom. That’s enough.”
“Annie, if this makes you feel better, I once try to feed my babies bananas and they almost choke to death.”
Annie paled. “That doesn’t make me better.”
Hange chuckled. “Point is. It’s scary to make mistakes. But you’re not going to be a real mom if you don’t make mistakes. We’re humans, after all. Our children are raised by humans—”
“Gods, can you imagine a robot nanny? That’d be so cool.” Sasha mused.
“—and you’re not alone! You have an amazing supportive husband. And you have us now.”
“Us, you mean this sappy therapy group session?” Annie asked flatly, but her tone was lighter.
“But it helps, right?” Historia asked. Her eyes turned distant as she looked away. “You’re lucky. You don’t know how much that means.”
Annie finally exhaled and relaxed in her chair. “I guess. I can’t believe you guys just gaslight me into thinking I’ll be a good mom.”
“But you’re here. That’s a first step,” Mikasa said. “We all have to start somewhere.”
“I guess.”
No, scratch that. Petra didn’t want to kill herself. She wanted to cry. She loved her girls. Damn hormones.
“Petra, why are you silent?”
She sniffled. “You girls are just so amazing. I think I want to get pregnant and have a bunch of babies now.”
All five pairs of eyes turned at her. “Don’t.”
After that, the group fell into ease. Annie told them about her home life; she married her high school sweetheart and had her son Caspian who Sasha said looked like a baby supermodel mini Captain America with his blonde locks and dashing blue eyes. Annie’s parents died when she was little, so she worried she didn’t have a good parental figure to learn from. She practiced martial arts and liked hiking and trying out new restaurants, especially new desserts.
“We should go café hopping sometimes!” Sasha exclaimed. “And you did martial arts? Wow. Hey, Mikasa also does that!”
“Not as professionally as Annie,” Mikasa said.
“I literally saw you slammed down a man twice your size because he’s being creepy. Deserved, though,” Historia mentioned.
Annie raised an eyebrow. “I’m not even surprised. You have that vibe around you.”
“Right?!” Sasha shrieked. “Little Settsu is so lucky to have Mama Bear Mika.”
Mikasa’s update was simple and to the point. Settsu was doing amazing. She and her cousin Levi had taken him to the beach last week. Mikasa said she also started taking online college courses recently.
“Do you plan on going back to uni?” Petra asked.
“Maybe when Settsu is a bit older. I can’t burden Levi any more than I already do.”
“I’m sure Levi won’t mind, Mikasa,” Hange said. “He might look grumpy 24/7 but he loved your boy like his own. And he told me you guys are also rebuilding your backyard and he’s building a tree house. How fun!”
“I think he’s also building a ninja warrior track for Settsu too,” Mikasa chuckled. “You have to knock some sense into him, Hange. He won’t listen to me ever.”
“Are you fucking Mikasa’s cousin, Hange?”
“Sure—WHAT?!”
Sasha whistled. “Damn. Ready to be a mama again?”
Historia just shrugged when Hange threw her a pillow. “I know you like Levi. And I also know Levi isn’t here often just because he wants to visit Mikasa.”
“A bit insulted, but that’s true,” Mikasa mumbled. “It’s good to have someone his age as his friend. He’s slowly, no, quickly, turning into a sad lonely angry grandpa.”
“A grandpa I would bang.”
“Sasha, stop.”
“You live with your cousin?” Annie responded.
Mikasa nodded. “We have a tea house nearby. You and your husband are very welcomed to visit.”
“Sure. My brother Reiner also live with us now. He’s couch surfing, but more like couch free renting. But he’s good with Cas, so we let him as a nanny.”
“Wait, Reiner?” Sasha blurted out. “That buff dude? The one working in the meatshop?”
“Yeah. You know him?”
“He gave me free sausages, so yes. And no, Hisu, not that kind of sausage. God, you’re so horny for someone so angelic looking.”
“Hey, it’s normal for new moms to get horny. Hormones, right, Petra?”
“There are many cases like that, yes, but just be careful not to get too exhausted. Let your body adjusts first, alright?”
Hange also said everything was fine at home. Her mysterious husband remained unmentioned. It was her friends and a surprising additional help in the form of one Levi Ackerman that helped Hange get through it.
“I thought you said you live with your in-laws. Didn’t they help?” Historia sneered, her tone biting. They all knew Historia didn’t have the best relationship with her family nor her in-laws. They were the ones who forced her into her marriage after all.
“Well, I couldn’t really force them to help. Old people. And I rather not too. They can be too… traditional.”
“I see,” Petra nodded, starting to put two and two together. “And Sasha, how’s things doing with you?”
“I’m good! I have a date this weekend!”
“With Connie?”
“What, no! We’re just friends, co-parents, whatever. It’s with this hot chef I met at a bar last week.”
“And Connie’s okay with that?” Mikasa asked, giving Sasha a weird, sympathetic look.
“Why wouldn’t he be? He’s the one who said I should have fun with other people. The other day we went out for dinner together with Anya and there’s this girl who was staring at Connie, like real flirting stare. Obviously I told him to go to her make a move and get her number.”
“What.” Annie said.
“What what? Too bad he didn’t. Then he asked if I think me and him should start dating other people again. I mean, it’s fine, right? We could still co-parent even if we’re with someone else. So yeah, I said yeah and I guess Connie’s okay with it, so I’m okay with it.”
“And is he dating someone else right now?”
“Not that I know.”
“And he’s 100% okay with you dating?”
“I think so. He hadn’t mentioned it at all. Just said that he’ll watch over Anya when I’m away.”
“Sash, Connie likes you,” Mikasa gently said. “I know it. And I think you know it too.”
“WHAT.” Sasha yelped. “Miki, where the hell do you get that from?”
“I don’t know this Connie guy, but I think so too,” Annie chimed in. “You said he’s guilty for impregnating you, right?”
“Okay, first, that word gives me the ick. He does, did. We sort things out. But what’s that gotta do with this dating stuff?”
Historia huffed loudly, catching everyone’s attention. “Sash, he likes you, but because he’s guilty or whatever he feels like he shouldn’t stop you from dating other people. I saw how Connie looks at you. We all saw it. He’s just holding himself back.”
“Hold on, let’s backtrack. Why do you guys think he likes me?”
“Well, that’s something you got to figure out yourself. It’s just plain obvious to us.”
Sasha turned silent afterward, probably musing on her baby daddy’s crush on her. Sensing that she was also getting uncomfortable with the topic, Petra moved on to another topic.
“Anyway, make sure you ladies attend to the fundraising dinner next Sunday. Dr. Smith will give a speech there and there will be free dinner for all.”
“Oh, that’s the one where the donations go for helping homeless mothers, isn’t it?” Hange exclaimed.
“Yep! Our center is one of the sponsors, so we’re all invited. Is everyone going?”
Four nods came, except for one.
“You’re not going, Miki?” Sasha asked.
Mikasa hesitated, then shook her head. “I’m not sure. I have this family thing that day. Sorry, Petra.”
“Don’t worry about it!”
They wrapped up the session soon, and as the girls were leaving the room and Petra was moving the chairs away, she noticed Sasha and Mikasa lingered in the corner. Mikasa looked a little sullen and Sasha was patting her back comfortingly. Petra couldn’t hear clearly what they were saying, but she caught a few words and a name: Jaeger.
Were they referring to the Jaeger Corporation, the fundraising host?
It’s probably nothing, she shrugged.