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Even These Freaks Must Have a Line

Summary:

In which Israel has Tourette's and Lucius finds out

Notes:

It's Thursday so I'm guessing that there's a new episode out but I haven't seen it yet so please don't spoil thank you

Also I wrote this whole thing in class on a computer that is not mine and does not have Grammarly so if there are any typos (barring not using punctuation before an end quote, that's just a me thing) then I apologize

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Ever since he was a little boy, Israel had been plagued with this thing.

His body would jerk around without control and he'd even shout random, sometimes vulgar things. It was absolutely embarrassing and he learned quickly that it was not acceptable behavior, regardless of if he meant to do it or not.

So, he began to suppress all those little motions and shouts, no matter how much it hurt him. He'd only let out small ones that he knew one would not catch unless they were looking for it, like small grunts in the back of his throat and the occasional eye twitch. He'd even let his neck jerk once or twice when he was sure no one was looking.

Still, these tiny allowances did not satiate the extent of his disorder and, when he was finally alone at night, he'd be plagued with up to several hours of assault from jerks and shouts that he was powerless to stop.

It was for this reason that he was incredibly grateful for his private quarters once he began pirating.

He'd managed to keep this broken part of himself tightly under wraps for the longest time and, if it were up to him, it would be a secret he'd take to his grave, especially after he lost his leg. That newfound disability made him enough of a liability to the crew should his prosthetic ever get taken away from him for one reason or another.

However, this secret of his did not stay secret forever.

It was a late night and he was incredibly ready to retreat to his quarters for his nightly fit, but the crew didn't want him to go, because they were all having so much fun and, for some reason, they actually seemed to enjoy his company.

The tics were getting harder to suppress, but no one really seemed to notice. Or, at least, no one except for Lucius. He saw the way Israel's neck began to twitch a bit more fiercely and the panicked expression that crossed the man's face whenever it did. He was the one to speak up on Israel's behalf.

"Eh, let Izzy go to bed" he said. A few of his crewmates whined in protest, but they knew that arguing with Lucius was a futile effort. He was more educated than the rest of them (barring, of course, Stede, and perhaps also Israel) and his recently acquired anger issues made him a nightmare to fight with.

Without another word, Israel fled to his quarters, hoping and praying that no one else cause the choked noise that rumbled out involuntarily as he did so.

And no one did...

Except for Lucius, of course.

He kissed Pete on the cheek and quietly excused himself to follow Israel. To his shock, when he tried the man's door, it was unlocked. Something was definitely wrong. Israel always locked his door. He was by far the most private person on the ship.

When he opened the door, he was alarmed to find Israel lying on the ground, his prosthetic thrown aside, convulsing on the floor and shouting all sorts of nonsensical things.

"Holy fuck" Lucius said, unsure of what to do. A part of him wanted to go get Roach and see if he had a remedy, but he also knew that Roach was a bit insane and that Israel wouldn't appreciate the unsolicited help. Still, he was sure he had to do something.

The comment alerted Israel to the presence of another person, and he quickly sat up to look at him, though this motion just set off another string of tics. He whimpered in pain, then squealed embarrassingly a few times.

"What is happening?" Lucius asked, shutting the door behind him.

"It's- FUCK OFF! Mph!- It's normal"

"No it's not"

"It's- Mph! Haha, cripple! Fuck!" his neck jerked back a few times and he was completely seized by his tics for a moment before they let up enough for him to actually get a sentence out. "It's normal for- Mph!- For me"

"O...kay" Lucius replied, still unsure of how to approach this situation. "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand. What is it?"

"I have these little- Ladyboy! Hardtack! Haha! Hardtack!- I have these little motions and- Mph!- Shouting I guess, and I can't really- CUNT!- I can't really control them" he explained. His neck jerked again and he had to suppress a whimper of pain. His whole body ached from the constant tensing and jerking. "But it's not- Ladyboy!- It's not something that's proper to do, so I suppress it during daylight"

"You don't have to do that, Izzy"

Israel stared at the other man for a moment. Silence filled the room, only broken by the occasional shout from Israel. Then, he suddenly became angry.

"You fuckin' twat"

"Huh?"

"I was hidin' it perfectly well and then- Fuck! Fuck off! Ladyboy! LADYBOY! HAHA!"

Israel's tics came back in earnest, the worst of his assault. To add onto the humiliation, he began to cry, both in reaction to the pain, exhaustion, and the dread he felt because now someone else knew.

"I won't tell anyone" Lucius reassured him. As sure as he was that the man needed help, or even just acceptance and to not be so alone in this thing he'd been struggling with, he also knew it'd just make things worse if he went around and told everyone despite the fact that Israel so very clearly did not want anyone to know. "But, should you choose to open up about it, I'm sure the rest of the crew would be accepti-"

"Fuck off" Israel said, the certainty in his voice making it clear to Lucius that it wasn't a tic. "Fuck off. Go away"

"...Okay, Izzy"

Lucius walked out of the room, respectfully locking and shutting the door behind him. Israel sighed and lied back down, accepting the onslaught of tics that quickly overcame him and sobbing in full earnest now that he was alone.

Could Lucius be right? Would they actually accept him even if they knew this fault of his?

Don't be ridiculous, he thought to himself as his body continued to convulse. Even they surely have a line, and this would certainly cross it...

Still, it feels nice to finally have someone else know.

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