Chapter Text
Therapist: So, I always like to begin with the question: why are you here?
The brothers sit on a couch in a nicely dimmed room which has green paint on the walls. Across them in his armchair sits the therapist, between him and them a coffee table with a vase of fresh flowers, a cup full of pencils, a neat stack of papers and - what immediately catches Clay's eyes - a burning scented candle. (The order in which the brothers sit on the couch from left to right: Branch, Clay, Spruce, Floyd, John)
All: ...
John: Honestly, I think there is no reason for why we are here.
Bruce: And I think, that you are probably one of the main reasons why we are here. And you probably need it the most.
John: I'm sorry, but I think the real reason we are here is because our little brother's lady, the dear Poppy Seed, forced him to do it.
Branch: WHAT? *he whipped his head around* She didn't force me to do it, she recommended it to me and I took her advice because you know what? I actually CARE about our family and I think we could do a lot better.
John: Do you want to say that I don't care about this family?
Floyd: Guys, guys, please, calm down.
Branch: Geez, John, I don't know, did not really get the vibes when you said we would go our separate ways after we saved Floyd.
John: Are you still bent down on this? Look, I'm sorry that I said that but things are different now, right? We are together now, so why are still hung up on the past?
Branch: Just because something is in the past doesn't mean it doesn't have any effect on me anymore. And besides, it has been, what, two weeks ago? I wouldn't call it the past yet.
John: Potato, tomato. See, this is your problem: you take things way out of proportions and let your emotions control you.
Bruce: Well, at least he shows his emotions and talks about them, in contrast to someone else.
John: Excuse me?
Bruce: You heard me.
Clay, interrupting their talk since he also was not listening to them, asks the therapist: Is the candle not a fire hazard? Is this even allowed in such an establishment?
Floyd: Guys, please, calm down. We haven't even properly started and we are already fighting with each other. Let's all breathe for just a moment and then resume to talk.
....
....
...There is silence for a few moments ...
...Until...
Therapist:....So I see, there is a lot of pent up aggression going on he-
John: NOPE, no! You know what? It has been fun and all but I honestly don't want to be here anymore. So, I'll be taking my leave.
Floyd: John, plea-
John: Floyd, I'm sorry, but I really can't do it. I already know how this whole thing is going to go, therefore, why should I even stick around?
Bruce: Wait, what do you mean by tha-
Branch: Oh, because you know everything, don't you?
John, slowly getting irritated with this situation, suddenly stands up and says: Listen he- *THUMP* *CRASH*
But he is interrupted by the sound of the coffee table falling to the ground. He stood up too fast and took the coffee table in his momentum with him, which made it rock back and forth, till it finally hit the ground facing the brothers. But with the coffee table, also the vase and the scented candle came to the ground. The vase bursts into many splinters which fly into the air in various directions. One splinter shoots into John's foot.
At the sight of the first drop of blood coming from his foot, John says: Oh my god, hahaha, look at that..
And passes out.
Floyd: OH MY GOD, JOHN, ARE YOU OK?
Bruce: Ohhhhhh, I remember now. He was always afraid of blood, ever since he was a kid. Did not think, it still bothered him.
Floyd: Didn't he live in the wilderness for 20 years? How did he survive?
Branch: oh my god, OH MY GOD!
Branch rolls off screaming from the couch.
While Bruce and Floyd were busy with John, the scented candle rolled it's way to the couch and ignited it.
Clay: AHA, I KNEW IT. *Clay laughs* I knew it would be a fire hazard. You have some explaining to do, mister. *he pointed his finger at the therapist, smiling*
His smile drops.
Clay:...Oh shit.
Branch: HOW DO WE PUT OUT THE FIRE? WHAT IS EVEN HERE TO PUT OUT A FIRE? *running around frantic, looking for something that would help against the fire*
Floyd: Ok, so we have an unconscious body and a fire going on. Just, d-don't FREAK out, Bruce, and stay calm!
Bruce:...I am calm.
Floyd: I SAID STAY CALM!
Clay:...Is not the first step to dealing with building fires 'Inform people in the immediate area to evacuate'? Well, *turns to the therapist* I think you should be the one to leave and warn people, AND also call 911, as we have a *stares at the unconscious John, the anxious Floyd, the confused Bruce and the frantic Branch running around* situation going on.
The therapist, staring at this whole situation in horror:...I honestly don't get paid enough for this. *flees the scene*