Chapter Text
“One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for a girl, Four for a boy,” A small kiss was pressed on his forehead where a small goose egg was forming.
Tommy giggled and watched as Mama continued her poem. “Five for silver, Six for gold, Seven for a secret never to be told.” She spoke softly and calmly, stroking her son's hair to lull him off to bed. “Eight for a wish, Nine for a kiss, Ten for a surprise you should be careful not to miss, Eleven for health, Twelve for wealth, Thirteen beware it's the devil himself. Fourteen for love Fifteen for a dove Sixteen for the chime of a bell Seventeen for the angel's protection Eighteen to be safe from hell Nineteen to be safe from a crime Twenty to end this rhyme”
“Mamma, why d’ ya gotta tell me that poem? I already know it.” Tommy asked as he looked up at the gentle face whose complexion didn't match his own.
“Well baby bird, it's important to know what the god's warnings are,” She spoke calmly despite the fear she felt daily. “They try to tell us many things daily and yet few can tell what they want to say.”
Mama played with Tommy’s hair being careful of the areas father had toyed with in the lab, she preened his red wings and sang him songs. They hurt…everything hurt but Tommy didn't mind. Father always mentioned how Tommy was his greatest work, the other one was a failure and Tommy was perfect.
The walls covered in Tommy’s drawing showed the minimal free time he was awarded. Each one patiently drew over multiple sessions and at times done by two or three people. He treasured all of these and often thanked Father for his gift of paper and crayons.
“Okay!” Tommy said happily as Mamma added a small braid to his hair. “Mamma, can I braid your hair?”
“Of course, you can baby bird, you can always braid my hair if you ask,” Mamma responded patiently as she turned carefully so Tommy could access the back of her hair.
The world was beginning to become fuzzy as he woke up. No. This was a nice moment, he needed to know the good parts of his past for he…
The single barred window far above their heads showed the sun slowly setting. Tommy wanted something to eat but Father had been in a bad mood. He wasn't allowed to ask for things when Father was in a bad mood. Momma told him that a while ago.
“G!” Tommy yelled happily when his brother walked in. The boy smiled softly and looked towards Mother who sighed.
“Tommy, can you tuck yourself in for bed, G needs me for something,” Mamma asked as she stood up. Tommy’s braid fell out of her hair and she embraced G in a quick hug.
Tommy hugged G too and they chatted quietly about different fighting techniques Father had taught them in the day. G always seemed to have a slight hatred for Tommy despite his best efforts to make G like him.
He didn't like how G doesn't like him but even Father seems to see Tommy differently. He is Father's project, his most perfect creation yet and that was all that mattered. Tommy tucked himself in for the night so he wouldn't be a nuisance.
G and Mamma chatted for a little, Mamma cried over something but there was a piercing sound… like an alarm.
Jolting awake with tear marks down his face Tommy cursed himself out for letting that dream go on. He quickly turned his alarm off and wiped his eyes to help rid them of the sleep compiled from apparently crying in his sleep from the dream.
What dream did he have again? He was just… never mind.
Tommy shrugged, concluding that if he didn't remember it was likely better that way.
Most of the time it was better for him to not remember in general. Tommy stood up and popped the ligaments in his back, they had tightened at some point last night when he was dreaming. His wings twitched and stretched out as Tommy quickly pulled some loose feathers that came loose last night and adjusted a handful of others.
He slowly made his way over to his kitchen for some cereal. Tommy had forgotten to eat last night so he wanted to get something in his stomach… it's just wheat bran.
Blinking slowly Tommy cussed himself out for the second time that morning for buying the cereal despite knowing he would always be a corn pops man at heart. Tommy looked at the clock and realized he should probably go out and do something with his day.
His world was often boring during the days and Tommy needed something, anything to fill his time up.
“And today in recent news the villains have attacked fifteen different stores stopping people from obtaining a means of-”
Tommy cut the radio off when he realized he should get a job. Sure his nighttime activities would pay the bills but Tommy needed something to do for his sanity.
He changed quickly and walked over to Tubbo and Ranboo’s. They would very likely be out at their day jobs but it was always nice to see if they wanted anything while he was out and about.
As he grabbed the keys to their apartment Tommy remembered Tubbo had mentioned something about a night shift today while Ranboo was on dayshift.
“Oi,” Tommy said abruptly as he stormed into Tubbo and Ranboo’s apartment. They lived beside him but as Tommy was a large independent man who needed no help ever he lived on his own… just beside them.
“Smaller men, it is I. Tommy Innit. I’ve arrived to request if you require groceries,” Tommy asked loudly as he scanned their living room and kitchen. As predicted it was empty, Tubbo wa-
“Tommy fuck off,” A dead exhausted voice came from one of the bedrooms. There he was!
“Tubzo!” Tommy exclaimed as he watched his friend who should be at work slowly walk out of his bedroom. Or rather was carried by a pair of quickly moving wings. Tubbo was hanging dead exhausted from his wings as he likely didn't want to move around all that much.
“Tommy, I will throw a knife at you,” Tubbo threatened as he blinked through his exhaustion. The boy was wearing his bee-themed pyjamas and his hair was pulled back half hazard from the night before. In Tommy’s opinion, the bee-themed pyjamas for a bee hybrid were a tad obsessive but Tubbo always insisted on its importance.
Tommy gasped dramatically “How could you ever say that to me Tubbzo?!?! I, Tommy Innit the kindest man ever offered to grab you and Boob Boy supplies from the store and the thanks I get is a threat. Tisk tisk,”
“Tommy it's… oh it's noon. Well, you still woke me up and I will be throwing things if you wake me up again. But yeah could you get us some spaghetti? Boo and I cooked some off last night, we have some extra in the fridge if you want it but we need extra because Boo is back in their spaghetti phase.” Tubbo said, defeated by the fact he slept in till noon.
“Can do Tubbo, have a lovely time waking up.”
“Yeah, I will, besides, I have a quick run out in a few minutes for the job. My boss said there was something they predicted happening so I needed to be at the office for like an hour and then I can get back home and sleep more,” Tubbo said as he stretched out his limbs.
“That… sounds awful, oh well sucks to be you Tubbo. Get wrecked responsibility L,” Tommy said as he watched Tubbo walk away slightly
“You have three seconds,” Tubbo said as he lifted a pillow from his and Ranboo’s couch.
“Yeah right,”
“One,”
“Tubbo let’s-”
“Two,” Tubbo aimed
“Right, well uh bye Tubbo sorry for bothering you I'll see you in the next handful of hours.” Tommy saluted as he left. He quickly scurried out of the apartment and as he closed the door a pillow made contact and Tommy was quite relieved he was at the door.
The great city of L’Manburg was one that honestly in the nicest possible way needed so much help. The streets were dirty, crimes were constant, villains lurked around every corner and heroes did shit to stop the crimes.
That’s why Tommy spent his nights scouring the streets in the hope that he could help people stay safe and have better lives. Icarus was one of the best-known and least dangerous vigilantes in Tommy’s opinion.
To the heroes, he is a massive threat that should be stopped at all costs but their opinion is dumb and Tommy is too epic and awesome for their opinion to work on him. The villains on the other hand were a massive pain in the ass to everyone.
For example, the villains Nomos and Apep who just flew past him are trailed by one of Nook’s robots. Tommy didn't care enough to keep track of the robot names but Tubbo was a huge Nook fan and this led to many rambles occurring.
So against his best wishes, Tommy knew that the bot following the chaos and order villains was none other than N00-33 this robot specialized in being able to fly after people and keep a constant target on them until obtained or tricked.
People all around him began to scream and run in random directions after merely seeing the villains. Tommy had to pretend with them so he jogged across the street and towards his destination.
After a short moment of jogging, Tommy slowed down for a crosswalk to clear of cars and people. After two cars running the redlight he double-checked before walking and almost being hit by some rubble from a hero-villain fight two blocks over.
Tommy signed and crossed the street to grab his groceries only to be hit in the face with a news flier “Help wanted, call 1-800-Niki’s-Cafe for more details or visit the store at 2786 Redwood Street SW”
Sometimes opportunities are sought out and other times they smack you in the face after villains cause civilians to run in all directions. Tommy seemed to find himself in the latter situation.
He began to wander down the street towards where the poster directed. The world was quiet besides the distant fighting from the hero-villain fight. The air smelled of smog and fresh rain from the night before and the cracked sidewalk didn't bother Tommy nearly as much as it typically would.
Niki’s Cafe seemed to be a quaint hole in the wall. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods. Tommy pushed the door open and rang a bell at the top of the doorframe. He didn't see anybody at first until a voice called from the ground behind the counter.
“Give me a moment the sink broke a moment before you got here and I am… just about to fix it. There we go. Hi, sorry um. Hello and welcome to my cafe, I am Niki by the way. What can I get for you today?” Niki spoke kindly in her barista tone.
She had pink hair that was pulled up into a clip of sorts near the back of her head. She had two cat ears peeking out of her hair.
“Oh well, can I get a peppermint tea and a job?” Tommy asked as he held the poster out/
“Oh sweet, you are the first person to ask ab-” Niki was cut off by a sudden boom as Damon's powers were sent toward two unknown villains. The hero's power was electricity and sometimes that led to large amounts of damage as massive amounts of electricity were led to a given location.
“Get down,” Tommy said the moment he noticed the hero and villains stopping in the streets outside her store. He quickly jumped the counter and shoved Niki to the floor to keep her safe.
The glass door and windows shattered a brief moment after he ducked down. The lights in Niki’s cafe suddenly surged and shattered causing them to both yelp at the mass amounts of glass everywhere.
Tommy kept his hands above his head and made sure to keep himself above Niki that way she could be safer from the glass. He had to make sure she was kept safe. Despite not being out as a vigilante at the moment he wanted her to stay safe.
Niki and Tommy stayed crouched under the counter for another twenty minutes before he looked over the counter and saw the massive amounts of damage and the lack of heroes or villains to deal with their mess.
“Are you available for hire now?” Niki asked as she scanned the damage behind the counter.
“Yeah I’d say so, could I still get that peppermint tea when the electricity is back up and running?” Tommy asked as he walked around the counter being careful to avoid glass.
“Sounds great to me. Let's go grab the brooms…”
“Tommy, my name is Tommy Innit and I'd be happy to chat while we clean up this disaster,” Tommy half-joked.
“Perfect to me,” Niki said as he rounded the corner to her supplies closet and grabbed two brooms and a dustpan.
Tommy and Niki dusted and cleaned up as much glass as they could. During this Niki asked Tommy about his life, what he wants out of the job and typical interview questions just after hire. They agreed on a flexible schedule and too much pay in Tommy’s opinion.
“Right so that should be good for the day I think,” Niki said as she scanned the now glass-free cafe. Tommy stood behind her and nodded along despite knowing she wouldn't be able to see it.
“I think we did a good job. The only issue is the eyesore of those garbage bags over the windows,” Tommy agreed. Niki had called them an eyesore before so he had known it was alright for him to refer to them as such,
“Yeah, I'll try to contact the hero's legal assistant for civilians later tonight and see how much of the damages they are willing to cover.” Niki agreed as she took Tommy’s broom to place back into the supplies closet.
“That sounds good to me,” he agreed. “I guess I’ll be seeing you and my coworkers in the morning?”
Niki nodded as she let Tommy head back to his house for the day. Along Tommy’s long walk home, he began to smell something wonderful that truly couldn't ever be better. Muffins. Specifically, the kind made by Skeppy and Bad, the sweetest owners of a business you could ever find.
At least Bad was sweet. Skeppy loved to prank and cause havoc while his counterpart loved to keep order and make things go to plan. Either way, Tommy was in love with their muffins. He would quite have loved to marry them had it not been deemed weird and immoral.
Tommy changed his route without thinking and magically ended up at the entrance to the magical smell within minutes. He smiled and looked up to the massive “Muffin Top” sign that would illuminate the street at night.
Walking in Tommy felt his mind die out and his wallet cried out for help knowing that had he not been raised the way Father had there wouldn't be a penny left.
“Hello, Hannah!” Tommy called out to the cashier. “Are Bad and Skeppy here?”
“Yes actually, they just got back from some errands. Bad is just cleaning up a… scrape he got from tripping over the sidewalk and Skeppy is just washing up before getting back to work” Hannah explained with a smile.
“That makes sense for them,” Tommy chuckles slightly.
“Yeah, anyways Tommy, what can I help you with today?”
“Well, I noticed my lack of cereal this morning. So I went out to get some but then I stumbled across a job and the idea of getting groceries slipped my mind until I just said that. So to make Tubbo not throw things at me could I get a dozen muffins?” Tommy asked as Hannah laughed at his story.
“Sure and would that be the regular or sucking up to Tubbo kinda dozen?” Hannah asked.
“You already know it’s the ‘Tubbo will commit a murder if I forget food’ kinda batch. So half chocolate chip muffins, three blueberry muffins and three oatmeal muffins please.” Tommy requested without even needing to look at the sign.
Having loads of
illegal
money helped Tommy to visit the stores he wanted. And if that meant at one point visiting the Muffin Top for a month straight to win a bet that is what it meant.
“Perfect I'll go grab those now and you can just tap or pay in cash,” Hannah said as she turned the card reader around for him. Tommy quickly paid and was handed a box of the muffins just as quickly.
“Tell Skeppy he sucks and Bad that I say hi,” Tommy said as he walked away with his bribe. While Tubbo was truly a lovely friend, one of the greatest
Tommy only has two friends
friends he would ever have.
Hannah laughed and said her goodbyes as Tommy walked out and towards the danger of a spaghetti-less Tubbo.
Tommy got back to his apartment complex without issues, the villains had disappeared and any heroes who were dealing with them went back on typical patrol. Looking at his watch Tommy smiled realizing Tubbo should be home again.
He apparently had to leave for a quick call-up. Tommy shrugged it off. Tubbo's job wasn't his problem. Tubbo’s anger was.
Tubbo was much more awake this time. Tommy knocked on the door knowing Tubbo would much rather that than be startled again. “Tommy,”
“Tubbo” Tommy greeted in a matching tone.
“Where is my spaghetti?” Tubbo asked as he noticed the grocery store bag was not in Tommy’s hands.
“At the store, unpurchased and mildly forgotten about until recently.”
“Why would it be there and not in a bag or my pantry?”
“Ah well I was going to the store, but then I got smacked in the face by a flier. After two villains flew past me” Tommy mumbled the last part. He knew Tubbo cared but he was just a civilian and Tommy would refuse to get civilians involved.
“You saw two villains and didn't press the help button?” Tubbo asked worriedly as he grabbed Tommy’s face and scanned for any damage before moving onto his arms for any harm caused to his friend.
“Well, no. But I'm fine and I have a job now. Also muffins!” Tommy said as he slightly pushed Tubbo back from scanning him for injuries new or old. Tommy’s attempt to keep Tubbo’s temper down by offering the food as compensation seemed to have failed because of the lack of pure joy on Tubbo’s face.
“Tommy you could have died,” Tubbo deadpanned as he grabbed the bridge of his nose. “Did you even have the button on you at least?”
“Yes?” Tommy unconfidently replied as he pursed his lips knowing the button was under his bed in a pile of dirty clothes he forgot about.
“I am going to make you swallow a tracker Tommy,” Tubbo threatened with a sigh as he held his hand out for the muffins..
“That is illegal my friend,” Tommy replied easily as he handed the bag of muffins. Tubbo snatched them before walking away and replying on the move. Tubbo placed the bag down on the counter and quickly grabbed a single muffin for himself.
“Does it look like I care about the illegalities or legalities Tommy?” Tubbo asked as his dead tired eyes stared menacingly into Tommy’s own. He took one of the most terrifying bites of a muffin Tommy had ever seen.
“Fine, I'll message you next time I see a villain,” Tommy pretended to give in. He in fact wouldn't do that because he saw villains almost every day and Tubbo was a civilian. Tommy wouldn't get civilians in danger if he ever had a say in it. But the threat Tubbo implied with the bite did shake him up slightly.
Tonight Tommy wouldn't go out because he had work in the morning but he knew that calling Tubbo while out and about as a vigilante wouldn't be the greatest of ideas.
He entered his apartment and dug around underneath the bed for a moment before finding that god’s awful button and placing it in his pocket. Tommy sat down and went to sleep before he realized half of those muffins were meant for him.
“Tommy, why are you calling me? We live beside each other and you left literal minutes ago,” Tubbo asked.
“I want two Oatmeal muffins, two chocolate chip muffins, and also two blueberry muffins,” Tommy responded as he stood back up and paused for a moment to let the blood flow properly.
“You are infuriating,”
“Yeah, but you love me,”
“Mhm, come get the muffins, Tommy,”
Tommy smiled before hanging up to go grab muffins from Tubbo.