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Merlin should've seen this coming. He really should've seen this coming. To be fair, it wasn't technically his fault.
Arthur had found out about Merlin's magic in a not so ideal way. As in, he found out when Merlin attacked the bandits who were trying to murder them. Again, less than ideal.
Arthur had been angry, reasonably so, and had ordered Merlin be exiled from Camelot for at least a month. Now, Merlin found that a bit outrageous, but it was better than death. So, Merlin had bid goodbye to his friends and headed out. He had been sulking as he walked, but he had heard it. At first, it was a rustling of leaves. Just the wind, he had told himself. He couldn't have been more wrong.
Merlin had gone back to sulking when he heard it again. A branch snapping. Odd. Must be an animal, he had thought. So, he kept on walking in his pity party. When he heard it a third time, he was scared. After all, the harsh sound of hissed laughter wasn't exactly normal for a forest. Merlin had run but being worn out from the fight, hadn't made it far before he was captured.
Again, Merlin would like to reiterate that this wasn't his fault.
After he had been knocked out, he awoke in a cell of sorts. Thick metal cuffs bound his hands, magic-blocking as he felt significantly weaker than normal, and he hung from the ceiling. His feet could reach the floor, and as he looked up, he could see the shadows of a pulley system, able to suspend and lower him at one's pleasure.
Amazing, he thought. Absolutely perfect.
So, he had spent a few days hanging alone. The small barred window in his cell was the only indication of time and the only light source. After being left with his thoughts for far too long, the cell's door had creaked open. When he looked up, two people had been standing there. One was a woman, with her hair cut jaggedly around her chin and a knife in her hand. The other was a male, a chain (Merlin assumed it was the pulley chain) in his hands as his hair hung to his ears. As the male pulled the chain harshly, so that Merlin got yanked upwards, the woman walked closer.
"What do we have here...King Arthur's little pet servant? All alone, too," she murmured, fake pity coating her voice. "How much do you reckon he'd pay for you back, hm?"
Merlin ignored her, staring at a wall instead. He would rather die than possibly reveal any information and give Arthur another reason to hate him. The women's smirk disappeared, as did the little mercy she had.
"Fine then," she relented. "If you're not gonna talk, I guess I'll have 'ta drag it outta ya."
With that, she pressed the sharp blade of the knife into Merlin's ribs and began to slowly walk a bit, applying enough pressure that it broke skin but perfectly avoiding any arteries.
"Can't have ya dyin' on us too early, can we?" She had smirked before pulling away the blade.
With a prompt nod of her head, the male released the chain a bit, and Merlin fell to the ground. He winced as he landed harshly on the spot the woman had just cut, but he resolutely kept his mouth shut. Once the cell door had swung closed, Merlin adjusted himself to a more comfortable position and decided to rest.
-----
Corlissa and Slade, as Merlin had learned their names to be, were determined. Every day, Slade would raise Merlin, and Corlissa would take to trying to torture information out of him. She had a concerning amount of weapons, in Merlin's opinion, and he had seen the royal armory on several occasions.
Every day was a new weapon. From knives to swords, to axes, to staffs, to daggers, to spears, to arrows, to hammers, to torches, Corlissa had it all.
Since Merlin had been captured, he had been cut, stabbed, sliced, bruised, broken, burned, and starved. And every day, he was dropped so that he landed on whatever new scar Corlissa had left. Merlin honestly applauded Slade's accuracy. It was impressive.
Merlin winced as Slade dropped him on the newest mark, a broken rib. Slade and Corlissa left, leaving Merlin to groan in pain as he tried to move into a less uncomfortable position, despite already knowing he wasn't getting any sleep tonight.
-----
Merlin's eyes blinked open at the sound of footsteps. He gazed towards the door, where only Corlissa stood. Confusion overtook him as she marched in, no weapon in hand.
"Wh-What...?" He croaked out, his voice having gone unused for several days.
"I've decided to let your prince know what exactly is going on here...and I need proof. Your neckerchief should be proof enough," She said as she ripped the handkerchief from his neck, tucking it into her vest pocket. "You'll get the day off today, Slade is busy. But don't worry, tomorrow will be double the pain! Buh-bye!"
With that, she slammed the cell door behind her, not bothering to lock it since Merlin couldn't escape if he tried. He sighed to himself, not bothering to tell her it was pointless. Arthur wouldn't come for him. He hated Merlin.
-----
Arthur sighed as his new servant barged in. She acted like Merlin in a sort of way, although she clearly wasn't very happy to be working under Arthur.
"Blondie, you have a letter!" She yelled, dropping the paper on his desk.
"I can see that, Billie." He rolled his eyes at her as she stuck up her middle finger at him.
"Yeah, well, thought you might be blind, since you exiled my cousin, your own boyfriend without a second thought," She huffed out, throwing open the doors of his wardrobe. "Honestly, what the hell do you even do to mess up a dresser this bad?!"
"He has magic," Arthur reminded Billie. "And Merlin never cleaned that thing."
"'Merlin never cleaned that thing'," she mocked Arthur, pitching her voice up to annoy him.
Arthur rolled his eyes before turning his attention to the note.
'Dear Prince Arthur,
We have a certain somebody that you may want. Come to ***** at midnight, alone, in one week if you want him alive. In return, we want 5 million in gold, or else your little boyfriend isn't going to be with us much longer.
Sincerely, the Black Mountain Bandits.'
Arthur's eyes zeroed in on the torn red fabric that was stuck to the paper. The same fabric of a neckerchief he had removed several times and adjusted twice as many.
They have Merlin, Arthur realized. A pit in his stomach opened up as he reread the note at least 10 times. They have my Merlin.
His head shot up as Billie slammed the dresser doors shut.
"Done! Finally. Anyways, bye blondie. I'll be back later with food or whatever." She called out, beelining to the door of his chambers.
Arthur didn't even say a word before she was out the door and down the hall, the door closing behind her. He redirected his attention back to the note, swallowing thickly. Was he really going to believe this note? Besides, Merlin lied to him. He shouldn't care.
Shaking his head to rid the thoughts that argued otherwise, Arthur tucked the note away in a drawer.
-----
Merlin groaned as he was woken up to a punch to the gut.
"Good morning to you too, Corlissa." He quipped, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.
His sarcastic comment was returned with another punch, this time to his eyes. Merlin winced but wisely kept his mouth shut. Corlissa continued to pummel him, and only after a few minutes did Merlin realize she had brass knuckles on. Blood dripped from the tiny holes that the spikes had created in his skin, but he ignored it. His focus was on the fact that every punch Corlissa hit him with felt ten times worse than it should.
She laced it with something, Merlin realized. Whatever it was, it wasn't lethal, but it definitely hurt. Guess she's living up to her promise of making today's pain worse than normal.
After a very painful session, Merlin was dropped flat on his back, his entire body screaming in pain. Slade shut the door after Corlissa left, and Merlin lay on the floor in a starfish postion, in too much pain to move.
-----
Arthur sighed as he stared at the new package that had arrived for him. Opening it, he found a letter and another garment. Ignoring the fabric, Arthur pulled out the paper.
'Dear King Arthur,
Such a pity that you could not respond to our previous letter. As stated, if you don't come to ***** within 5 days, with the alotted money, we would regret to inform you that Merlin would be dead as a result.
Sincerely, The Black Mountain Bandits'
Arthur tossed the letter into the same drawer as the previous, rolling his eyes as he eyed the fabric in the box. It was clearly part of Merlin's shirt, but since when had he worn red? It took Arthur a few minutes, but he figured it out. The red was blood. These bandits were hurting his boyfriend.
Ex-boyfriend, he reminded himself. They technically haven't broken up, but Arthur feels AT LEAST a break was needed after the bombshell of Merlin's magic being dropped.
Regardless, Arthur shouldn't care about this. He wouldn't care about this. With determination, Arthur put the fabric in the same drawer as the letters and slammed it shut before turning back to his speech.
-----
The echoing sound of a metal door being slammed shook Merlin out of his half awake, half asleep state. With much pain, he lifted his head up from the floor to stare at Corlissa. Her being alone meant she needed something, and Merlin was scared because she had a butcher's knife in her hand.
"Princey needs some more...motivation...and I have the perfect idea," she crooned as she walked towards him. "One of the fingers he adored holding so much!"
Before Merlin could get a word out, Corlissa had one of his hands spread out on the ground and slammed the knife down. Merlin screamed as she repeated the process until she held his left pointer finger in her hand.
"This'll do," she smiled, satisfied. "Ta ta!"
With that, Corlissa walked out of the cell, leaving Merlin writhing in pain on the floor.
-----
Billie walked into Arthur's chambers and set a small box in front of him before storming out.Arthur ignored the box until his curiosity got the best of him, and he opened it. An even smaller box was inside, with a piece of paper folded on top of it. Arthur unfolded the note and began to read.
'Dear King Arthur,
It seems a bit more motivation is in order. Check inside the small box to see it. We hope to see you in 3 days. Alone. At *****.
Sincerely, TBMB'
Arthur sighed and pulled out the box, wondering what was inside. As he removed the top, he had to force himself not to scream.
A finger lay in the box. A single, bloody finger. And not just any finger, it was Merlin's finger. Arthur gagged at the smell and made up his mind. He was going to save Merlin. Now, he just needed to find 5 million in gold.
-----
Merlin groaned as a steel toed boot hit him square in the ribs.
"Up and at 'em, sorcerer." Corlissa called as she kicked him again.
Merlin grimaced as he felt himself being dragged up by the chains, feeling the dried blood covering his body. He looked up to see how his missing finger had healed and winced when he saw it was infected.
There's no way I'm making it out of here alive, he thought. He looked over to see Corlissa smirking at him and realized he was higher than normal.
"Two days and then your blonde boyfriend will be here with our money. Until then...we're going to have some fun." Corlissa said, pulling out a bow and arrow.
Merlin spent the next hour being target practice, ending up with an arrow in his shoulder and several scrapes where Corlissa had purposely missed but still wanted to hurt him. When he was dropped by Slade, his shoulder screamed in pain, and he nearly passed out.
"We'll be back tomorrow...our final day together will be so much fun..." Corlissa murmurs, before Merlin, here's the slam of the cell door shutting.
He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears in, listening to his stomach grumble. Corlissa was right, in a way. Tomorrow would be their last day together because when Arthur didn't come, Merlin was going to be killed.
-----
Arthur was pacing in his chambers, running a hand through his hair. 24 hours, and then he would have Merlin safe in his arms. Bloody, bruised, and broken, but safe. Taking a deep breath, Arthur forced himself to get ready for bed, knowing a huge day was awaiting him tomorrow.
-----
Merlin grimaced as he felt himself get hoisted up, blinking the sleepiness out of his eyes to see Slade holding the chain and Corlissa smirking. The sun was barely peeking through the tiny window, and Merlin knew that whatever happened was about to hurt like hell.
"Well, well, well, magic boy," Corlissa said as she began to walk closer. "Seems like it's our last chance to have some fun. Pity, I had been hoping for some more time...but, as they say, time is money."
Merlin thickly swallowed as Corlissa stalked closer, daggers sticking out between her fingers.
"I guess," she drawled, getting closer. "I'll have to give you the best treatment."
With that, she slashed a cut onto Merlin's arm, the same one with the arrow in his shoulder, and Merlin arched his back at the pain. Corlissa smirked and plunged another dagger into his leg before pulling it out slowly. Merlin cried out in pain, panting, when Corlissa threw three daggers, and each one hit Merlin. One hit him in the wrist, one in the knee, and one on the side. He hissed out in pain, tears forming in his eyes. Blood dripped out of the new wounds, and any old wounds she had broken, and Corlissa nodded, satisfied.
"Drop him," She commanded Slade, who nodded and immediately let go of Merlin's chain, sending Merlin plummeting towards the rocky floor. "We'll wake you up soon, wizard. I want you to see the look on your Arthur's face when he sees how dirty you are."
Merlin gulped, not able to do much else as pain clouded his mind before he ended up passing out.
-----
Corlissa woke Merlin up by unlatching him from the chains. The magic-binding cuffs were still around his wrists, but he was no longer hanging by chains. He was then forcefully dragged up the stairs, stumbling the whole time, before he was dropped on the cement floor. Corlissa and Slade were on the other side of the room, and Merlin got comfortable against the wall, waiting for Arthur, letting a little seed of hope spread.
-----
Merlin was shaken awake. Confused, he felt somewhat familiar hands moving him, but he was so tired. A voice was talking to him, but it sounded muffled. Merlin leaned into the warmth of the person, eyes falling shut again as he fell asleep.
-----
This time, Merlin woke up in a bed. His bed. Jolting up and immediately regretting it as every fiber of his body screamed in agony, Merlin looked around. He was in his room, in Camelot. He was back in Camelot. Arthur had come. Arthur had saved him. Looking around, Merlin's smile dimmed as he couldn't see Arthur.
Figures, Merlin thought to himsef. He probably hates me.
His thoughts were interrupted by a grunt next to him.
"Merls, go back to sleep...it's too early for this," Arthur grumbled before shooting up as he realized. "MERLIN?!"
Merlin nodded, confused, as Arthur tentatively hugged him. He hugged back slowly so as not to hurt himself more and rested his head on Arthur's shoulder as he let out a slow breath. Arthur pulled Merlin closer while also laying the two of them down. Merlin snuggled into Arthur's embrace, the warmth coming from his boyfriend helping soothe the pain in his body.
"I'm sorry..." Arthur murmured after a minute of silence.
Merlin startled at the sound, furrowing his brows in confusion. "Why?"
"Why? Merlin, I banished you because I needed time to think when I could've just sent you away for a moment. It's my fault you got kidnapped, and now look how hurt you are!" Arthur said, unshed tears filling his eyes.
Merlin sadly smiled before speaking himself. "Arthur, I've already forgiven you for all of that. Actually, I never blamed you. Yeah, I was hurt, but I was hurt because I thought you hated me. And I love you so much, that thought physically hurt me to think."
Arthur sniffled, burying his face into Merlin's messy hair. "I love you too."
Merlin smiled and snuggled closer, tilting his head up slightly to look Arthur in the eyes.
Arthur's eyes flicked down to Merlin's lips, and Merlin quickly felt a pair of lips on his own. He melted into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut as he let out a content hum. This is what he had missed the most. The feeling of Arthur kissing him. As they broke apart, Merlin smiled at Arthur and buried his face in the blonde's chest, drifting off to sleep.
-----
And then he woke up.
When Merlin's eyes opened, he was no longer in his room in Camelot. No, he was still in the cave, with Corlissa and Slade. In fact, both bandits were staring at him.
"Where's princey boy, it's a quarter past midnight." Corlissa yelled, fury in her eyes.
Merlin's stomach sunk. Of course, he thought, Arthur's not coming for me.
"I...d-don't know..." He stuttered out, his voice breaking due to how little water he's had.
Corlissa's frown deepened, and she whirled around to face the weapons wall.
"Alright then," she angrily muttered. "If he's not keeping up his end of the deal, we're not keeping up our end."
Merlin's eyes widened. He was going to die. The realization settled in his stomach, feeling like a bottomless pit of despair. He watched as Corlissa grabbed a knife, turning to him with a sick smirk, and crept closer. He stared as she raised the knife and saw it happen in slow motion as she plunged the knife into his stomach. He heard a scream rip from his throat, but it sounded muffled. Pain seared through his body, and his throat quickly became constricted as he realized the knife was poisoned. Merlin felt like he was no longer in his body. Instead, he was floating away from it. He was dead.
-----
Arthur urged his horse to go faster, the sound of galloping hooves echoing throughout the forest. He had left later than he had intended to, and now Merlin might not be there when Arthur makes it to the spot. His horse neighed in protest when Arthur urged it to go even faster, but sped up slightly. He allowed himself to smile, hope filling his body. He was going to make it on time.
-----
He, in fact, did not make it on time.
When Arthur made it to the spot, he found Merlin laying on the floor. Arthur's heart stopped when he saw Merlin's condition.
Broken elbow, gashes all over his body, an arrow in his shoulder, and his body was laying at an odd angle. And those were just what Arthur could see from a distance, he was scared to get closer and see every wound on Merlin's body, even more scared to find out about the one's not visible.
The horse trotted closer, and when Arthur stopped it, he got off immediately. Running the rest of the way, he turned Merlin over to find his boyfriend's body was cold to the touch. Even if Merlin wasn't dead, he had been left out in the freezing cold winter air in the middle of the night. Arthur panicked as he pressed his pointer and middle finger to Merlin's wrist. Arthur's heart dropped as he couldn't feel a pulse. Merlin was dead.
Arthur slowly got to his feet, looking around. He spotted a hooded figure walking through the woods, and he saw red. That must be the person who killed Merlin, he thought. He ran towards them, anger fueling his actions as he unsheathed his sword and swung it. The person moved out of the way quickly before snapping their fingers and sending Arthur flying into a tree.
A sorcerer, Arthur thought as his anger doubled. You will pay for your crimes.
Fighting against the magic binding him to the tree, he glared at the mysterious person.
They looked him over before increasing the hold and focusing on his neck. Arthur choked out a gruntled sound, and the person smiled.
"Can I know why I have the pleasure of seeing you, Arthur?" The person asked, and Arthur immediately recognized her voice.
"Morgana," He growled out, glaring at her again. "Why did you kill Merlin?!"
Morgana's grip loosened as she gave him a confused look from underneath her hood.
"Kill Merlin? Why would I kill Merlin?" She asked.
"I don't know! That's why I'm asking you!" Arthur yelled, frustrated. He just wanted to know who had killed his boyfriend.
"Well, I didn't kill him," Morgana muttered before remembering who she was talking to and tightening the chokehold on Arthur's neck again. "But, I am going to kill you."
Arthur coughed, trying to claw the magic away from his throat, as he rapidly lost oxygen. The world faded to black as he heard the thundering of footsteps and shouting, and then he was falling.
-----
The knights had run into the clearing as soon as Arthur's eyes had shut. Lancelot and Gwaine went to get Arthur while Leon, Elyan, Mordred, and Percival focused on Morgana. Lancelot and Gwaine dragged Arthur to the Lake of Avalon, both remembering what Merlin had said.
"If Arthur ever gets injured and I'm not there to save him, get him to Avalon, and place him in the shallow water. The water is enchanted to heal him."
Lancelot and Gwaine sped up as the lake came into view before they reached the banks. They then half tossed, half placed Arthur in the shallow water, and waited. They watched as the water made it's way over Arthur's chest before it began to rise and fall again. The two knights let out a shocked laugh and high-fived each other, smiling. Their hands dropped, intertwined, and both males pretended like they didn't notice. Arthur let out a groan as he came to, sitting up.
-----
Merlin knew he was dead. It was quite obvious, really. Being surrounded in black nothingness, feeling as though he was floating.
Oh, and the hole in his stomach where the knife had stabbed him.
What Merlin also knew, is that he (sadly) wouldn't be dead for long. He was Emrys, the embodiment of magic and the literal translation to Immortal. He could die, but he would always come back.
Except this time, it would take a while. Being tortured for the past month had really broken his body, which would need some time to heal before he could go back to it. On top of that, being in the magic-blocking cuffs at the same time, it would take a bit for him to be able to use enough magic to put himself back in his body. So, he settled for floating around his mindspace in silence until he could go back.
But, the question was, would he?
-----
Arthur sat up and rubbed his throat, before jumping up as he registered that he was sitting in freezing cold water. He turned around to see Lancelot and Gwaine staring at him, smiling, and looking shocked.
"What...happened?" Arthur asked, confused. Last thing he remembered was Morgana choking him.
"Morgana killed you, we brought you to Avalon, and the water healed you." Gwaine summarized, and Arthur didn't fail to notice how Lancelot stared at Gwaine like he had hung the stars.
The same way Merlin used to look at me, Arthur thought. His heart dropped when he realized. Merlin.
"Merlin! He's...he's..." Arthur suddenly shouted, trying to tell Gwaine and Lancelot what he had seen.
Before he could continue, however, they was a crackling sound. All three knights faced the sky, and watched as a golden hole opened up, before a body came out of it. The person was a good hundred feet above the middle of the lake and plummeting towards it, and then Arthur blinked and it was Merlin. His Merlin. Arthur ran further into the freezing water, determined to reach Merlin before he hit the water.
Lancelot and Gwaine were shouting for him to stop, but he paid them no mind. He had to save Merlin.
-----
The knights burst through the treeline as they heard Lancelot amd Gwaine shouting. Their eyes widened as they saw someone plumetting from the sky and Arthur running through the water to save them.
"What's going on?!" Leon shouted.
"I don't know!" Gwaine yelled, at the same time Mordred spoke up, "Is that Merlin?!"
All the knights snapped their heads to the person falling, and all of them audibly gasped.
"It is..." Percival muttered.
Mordred's instincts kicked in immediately, and he thrust his hand out, eyes flashing gold. Merlin began to drift towards Arthur as he fell, and Arthur sped up until he couldn't reach the bottom of the lake anymore. Mordred pulled Merlin closer, and just as he was about to be in Arthur's reach, he was suddenly shoved back a bit and plunged into the water. Mordred made a confused grunt, until he heard the familiar laugh of Morgana. All six knights turned to face her, angry, while Arthur dove under to save Merlin.
-----
Merlin had been directly in front of Arthur, about to finally be in his arms, when he had been yanked backwards and forced under the water. Arthur gave no hesitation, immediately diving under to save his lover. While in armor. In the freezing winter. As Arthur blindly reached out, he grasped Merlin's hand, ignoring how cold it was, and began to haul his boyfriend up. As his head broke the surface, Arthur pulled Merlin up quickly. Well, he had thought he had Merlin. Instead, only Merlin's arm broke the surface. A scream ripped its way out of Arthur's throat as he stared at the entirety of Merlin's arm. It was bloody and muscle tendrils were hanging out from where it had been connected to the socket. Arthur gagged, and after another scream forced its way out, Arthur dove back under and swam farther down to find Merlin. He felt Merlin's boot and reached a bit farther, grabbing Merlin's shin, before hauling him up again. As Arthur quickly and forcibly dragged Merlin, Merlin's limp body went completely vertical, and his head collided with a rock the size of his fist, breaking the skin and causing him to bleed. Arthur broke the surface again, quickly pulling all of Merlin up this time, and righting the boy next to him. Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin's waist as he swam forward, relying solely on adrenaline to keep him going. As he swam, he continuously looked back at Merlin, not failing to notice the bleeding gash on Merlin's head, before he would look ahead again and swim faster. When his feet finally hit the shore, he wasted no time in holding Merlin bridal style, a pang of guilt hitting him as he realized how concerningly skinny Merlin was. He then ran towards where his horse was, completely ignoring the fight against Morgana as his one concern was getting Merlin back to Camelot.
-----
Arthur burst through the doors of Gaius' chambers, dripping wet and holding onto Merlin tightly.
"Gaius! Can...Can you save h-him?" He asked, swiftly walking towards a cot.
"I can try..." The physician murmured, already grabbing various potions off of different shelves.
Arthur gently set Merlin down on the bed, trying his best not to hurt Merlin anymore than he already was, before dropping into the chair next to him. Arthur shivered slightly as the adrenaline wore off, and he realized that Merlin must be cold as well. At closer inspection, he was. Merlin was shivering and his lips were tinted a slight blue, causing Arthur's heart to lurch in his chest.
Gaius came over, looked Merlin up and down, and frowned.
"His body can be healed, but he's currently dead," Gaius muttered, quickly clarifying when Arthur let out a sob-like sound. "Not actually dead, uh, how do I explain this? You see, Merlin is known as 'Emrys' to the druids. He is a very powerful sorcerer, and technically immortal."
"What do you mean 'technically' immortal?" Arthur asked, confused and scared.
"He can die, but he will always come back. It's normally a matter of whether or not his body is in the proper condition, and if he wants to come back." Gaius explained.
Arthur let out a deep breath, calmed. "So, how long until his body is in the proper condition?"
"Should be about two days," Gaius muttered as he scanned Merlin again. "Although, he may not want to."
"What do you mean he may not want to?!" Arthur cried out, worried.
"Sire, when Merlin died, did he know you went to save him?" Gaius questioned.
"Well, no..." Arthur responded, confused again.
"So he died believing you didn't come for him and hate him," Gaius concluded. "Therefore, he wouldn't want to come back since he loves you so much."
"Why would he think I hate him?" Was Arthur's immediate follow up question.
Gaius gave him an incredulous look. "Sire, you banished him from Camelot."
Oh yeah, Arthur thought. I did do that-
"How can I get him to want to come back?" Arthur asked, biting his lower lip as he fretted.
"Maybe try to talk to him? He should be able to hear you, sire," Gaius suggested. "I'll give you two some space while I go to grab more ingredients."
Arthur nodded, staring at Merlin's unmoving chest as Gaius left. He considered his words carefully, before reaching over and resting his hand on the one arm still attached to Merlin's body.
"Merlin, uh, I don't know if you can hear me...but, um, I love you. I'm really sorry that I banished you, I was...hurt. I was hurt. It's taken me a while to realize this, but I can't bear to lose you. This past month has helped me realize it. When...when those bandits sent that letter with your finger? I freaked out. I had proof you were hurt, a-and they were threatening to kill you, and I couldn't do anything because it was all my fault. All of this is my fault. Had I not banished you, had I just sent you out of my room? You wouldn't have gotten kidnapped...you wouldn't have gotten h-hurt, let alone killed. I'm so sorry, Merls," Arthur explained, starting to cry halfway through his speech. "But please, come back to me, let me fix all of this. Please, I need you."
Arthur finished his speech by lightly squeezing Merlin's arm, before retracting his hand as Gaius walked back into the room, his hands full. He made his way to Merlin's bedside, setting several glasses down on a nearby table. He grabbed a bottle filled with a purple liquid, swirling it around before he slightly opened Merlin's mouth and poured half of the glasses contents into down his throat. Gaius then grabbed a yellow herb and placed it on top of Merlin's neck, where his neckerchief would normally be, before turning back to his table. He took a pink liquid and placed a few orange leaves in it, shaking the bottle, and then pouring the result into his hand and spreading it over where Merlin's missing arm would be.
Arthur watched as the pinkish-orange liquid hardened over the wound, solidifying and preventing more blood loss. Gaius then rubbed some green liquid onto the hardened paste, before he grabbed a blue liquid and pulled Merlin's shirt up, dripping the blue liquid onto his bare chest with precision. Arthur stayed silent, not wanting to disrupt his boyfriend being healed. All he could do was hope Merlin would come back to him.
-----
Merlin heard it all. He had heard Arthur's speech, and if he could cry while being (sort of) dead, he would have. It was so raw, something Arthur only ever was around Merlin. It both broke and healed Merlin's heart, like when a kid falls off a bike but then gets a bandaid over it. Arthur didn't hate him, he needed Merlin, and their relationship was going back to normal. Everything was perfect.
-----
Everything was not perfect. It wasn't even close.
Merlin had just fought tooth and nail to make his way back into his healing body, and had finally made it. He had sat up, expecting to see Arthur next to him, only to find himself alone in the middle of a dark room, with only the familiar bedsheets to ground him.
Of course he wouldn't stay, Merlin thought as tears filled his eyes. Why would he? After all, I'm just a servant. I'm not worth his time, he probably never even loved me. He probably didn't even need me! I could've stayed dead and he wouldn't have cared...I should have stayed dead. How could I be so stupid?!
As the tears fell from his eyes and blurred his vision, Merlin made a split-second decision based solely on hurt feelings. He stood up abruptly, fell and then stood up carefully, and went off to find his jacket and clothes. He was going to escape Camelot, Arthur wouldn't care. He'd probably be glad Merlin was leaving!
As Merlin angrily, albeit carefully, pulled on a random jacket, he was lost in thought. Was he actually going to go through with this? But as he recalled the feeling of his heart sinking when he woke up with no Arthur, Merlin decided yes, he was going through with this. So, he tiptoed out the door of his and Gaius' chambers, walking down the castle halls under the dark cloak of the night sky.
How stupid could I be? To think that Arthur would want a nobody like me...honestly, Merlin, use your head, his inner monologue berated himself as he struggled his way out of the castle that he knew by heart. Out of the castle that had broken his heart. Once he made it past the castle gate, he allowed the tears in his eyes to fall down his face in a cascade, silent sobs shaking his shoulders as he sped up his pace as best he could. His legs were beginning to ache and the pain from all his wounds was bound to catch up to him soon, but he ignored it all as he walked straight out of Camelot and into the forest.
He probably should've thought before doing this, but oh well. He could wing it.
-----
Winging it did not go well. He ran into Morgana, ran away from Morgana and hid, and then got cursed. Merlin didn't know what she did, but his throat was itching, and soon enough a scream ripped out of it. Merlin kept screaming until his throat felt raw and he couldn't breathe, it felt like his head was going to explode and Morgana just smirked.
"Goodbye, Emrys." She sneered before walking away, leaving Merlin to pass out due to the lack of air and eventually choke on his own spittle. His one regret was that Arthur would never know the truth, but all he could do was let his eyes flutter shut as his head lolled forward, no neck attached to it to keep it from dropping to the ground.