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Richie knew he wasn’t planning to stay at the Homecoming dance for long. After all, crowded spaces with people he wasn’t fond of were never his forte. Although he supposed that had mostly changed in the past few weeks. After Max’s near death experience he seemed to stop being so terrible to nerds like him. Which was nice for Richie. He had signed up to be Zeke the Fightin’ Nighthawk again this year, and it was nice to not get pushed around in the locker room for once.
He sat on a bench outside, taking long breaths while he debated on whether he should call his uncle or not. Deciding to wait a while until choosing, he tossed his phone between his hands before feeling something touch his shoulder. He quickly turned around to see Max Jägerman, lit cigarette in his mouth, “Heya Shitlips,” Max joked, sitting down next to Richie.
For once, Richie chuckled at the name. It didn’t pain him to hear it anymore, not the same way it used to, “Hey Max,” he turned to him, Max blowing smoke from his mouth.
“Whatcha doing out here? Spankoffski was looking for you,” Max put out the cigarette and threw it onto the road.
Richie squeezed his phone slightly, “I don’t like crowded spaces. And it’s loud,” he shrugged, slowly moving farther from Max.
Max noticed his movement almost instantly, “Running away again?” he frowned, “Thought you were done with that.”
“What do you mean?” Richie asked.
“You’d run down the hallway every day for 4 years while I just stood there, it was sad.”
“You were also a horrible person who bullied me, of course I’d run,” Richie pulled one of his legs up to his chest, looking down at his phone.
Max clicked his tongue, “Yeah, that’s a reason to run,” he grabbed the bottom of the bench and stretched, “I’m sorry. I know I haven’t really said that yet.”
“It’s whatever,” Richie shrugged, biting the inside of his lip, “That’s over now though, right?”
Max jolted his head in Richie’s direction, “Of course! I mean, I think so,” he seemed to lose confidence in himself the more he thought about it, “I don’t think I’m good at the whole friend thing.”
“What do you mean by that?” Richie asked, intrigue visible in his eyes. Max wasn’t one to start a conversation on what was happening in his head.
Max stopped talking, realizing Richie was going to take the breadcrumbs Max left for him to get into his head again. “It’s cold,” he decided to take the conversation in a different direction, but Richie saw right past that.
“You regret it, don’t you?” Richie questioned Max, although he already knew the answer.
Max bit his lip and clenched his fist, knowing he had already given Richie enough information to work with, “You damn nerds, got me thinking about my actions,” his nostrils flared with frustration, “These past 3 weeks have been hell. We lost the game, school is terrible, those fucking chemists… and then you damn nerds ruined everything, you ruined everything!”
Richie began to feel the chill in the air Max had seemingly felt, “It’s not our fault you’re having a change of heart! Maybe you should’ve almost died sooner so you could have these realizations! And how did I specifically ruin everything? We haven’t talked since middle school, like really talked. You made it clear you didn’t want to when you beat me up and left me at the Cineplex!”
“Of course you bring up the Cineplex,” Max rolled his eyes in frustration and anger, putting a hand to his face, “I was stupid, ok? Are you happy now because I admitted it?”
Richie shook his head, “You ruined high school for me, Max. The golden years of life were stolen from me because I was too afraid to go do anything because I was worried you’d hurt me. You used to be so nice too, and in a blink of an eye that kindness was gone. Then because you almost died things are ok again? The others may have been fine with it, but I’m not,” Richie looked more furious than Max had seen him in a long time, “You know how I felt about you, right? The whole time?”
Max knew this would come up at some point, he also knew they had both danced around the topic since they began to talk more, “What about it?”
“Whenever I saw you having a good time with people, not being an asshole, I felt it again. And again, and again. It just makes me wonder what the hell happened to you? Was it your parents? High school in general? I just want to know what happened, Max.”
Richie’s face of frustration sent chills down Max’s spine, “I don’t know what happened, Richie,” he held back his hand from touching his friends, realizing what he was doing was risky, “But I wish I didn’t hurt you the way I did. I wish I didn’t hurt you at all.” Richie looked defeated, slowly letting the conversation leave his mind. Max, on the other hand, wasn’t going to let it go so easy, “I ruined a lot of things, and I wish our friendship wasn’t one of them.”
“I don’t like it when you’re having a heart to heart with someone. It’s not like you,” Richie said, slowly allowing his fist to unclench, knowing that he wouldn’t get anywhere by trying to question Max on his previous actions.
“How do you want me to apologize then?” Max asked.
“Show it, like you have been,” Richie shrugged, “I should probably call my uncle to pick me up,” he grabbed his phone, Max feeling defeated.
With a burst of stupidity, Max grabbed Richie’s phone from his hand and put it on the other side of the bench, “So do you just want me to continue awkwardly talking to you and pretend like we both don’t see what’s actually happening?” Max asked him, Richie trying to reach for his phone.
“What the hell are you talking about? What have you been talking about? And give me my damn phone!” Richie reached for the device but Max stopped his wrist.
“Those feelings you mentioned, idiot. Don’t you get it?” Max was able to keep his wrist in place with ease.
Richie stopped fighting, figuring it hopeless, “No Max, I don’t get it.”
Max rolled his eyes, “Do I need to spell it out for you?!” he asked, slowly letting go of Richie’s wrist.
“Yeah kinda!” Richie told him, frustrated.
Max jolted his head away, realizing his stupidity in all of this. His aggression ruined things, he knew that. He knew he needed to find help so that he wouldn’t ruin more friendships, he knew that he needed to not be so aggressive. He knew there was no way Richie would want to talk to him ever again, he knew he messed up the day he beat him up in the back of the Cineplex while watching a bad horror movie because Richie dared accidentally touch one of Max’s fingers. He knew that day it was over, and yet he sat on the cold bench on the night of Homecoming, Richie sitting beside him. He knew there could be no going back from this, but it would be the end of an era for him. He could move on to Grace Chasity, the backup forbidden fruit.
Max touched Richie’s chin and slowly kissed him. Richie knew it was coming, he sensed it the second Max had sat down. His fist clenched again, trying to hold himself back from either punching Max or touching the back of his neck. He hated it, he hated himself, and yet he couldn’t resist it. The kiss tasted like the sweetest honey, and yet he felt sharp rose thorns pierce his lips when he dared to deepen the kiss. They slowly broke apart, Richie taking the opportunity to grab his phone and call his uncle. Max watched him slowly walk away from the bench, hearing the conversation on one side of it.
“Yeah, I’m ready. Ok, see you in 10,” Richie spoke, Max noticing his shaky hand.
Richie turned back to Max, “I’m sorry,” Max spoke first.
“It’s fine,” Richie shrugged, sitting back down next to Max, who pushed himself away from the nerd.
“I should head back inside,” Max got up, shaken. He left without another word, tripping over his own feet as he tried to walk.
Richie sat on the bench, mixed feelings coursing through his veins. He knew he should’ve said something, or did anything but what he did. And yet he still reached for the phone and called his uncle, so maybe that’s what he really did want. However he was sure he would regret his decision the moment he got home, he was positive of it.