Work Text:
Dan Heng sees the wisp of spell cast by the Emanator of Mythus before anyone else—shooting straight for Stelle. For her Stellaron.
“Stelle, move!” He makes it in time to shove her out of the way—and takes the hit head on himself.
“Dan Heng!”
Excruciating pain lances through his skull, so vicious it blots out his vision as all goes black.
~
Dan Heng wakes to a throbbing migraine and raw aching pain throughout his body. Groaning, he squints his eyes open, grateful that the room’s light is blessedly dim. Some alertness enters his groggy mind as the unfamiliarity of the room sinks in.
Wooden floors and rich furnishings, a low table in one corner stacked with scrolls. The style is reminiscent of the traditional Vidyadhara homes in Dan Feng’s memories.
When the sweep of Dan Heng’s gaze reaches the bedside he nearly jumps out of his skin—a man sits there in complete silence, still as a statue without a whisper of movement, glowing eyes fixed on him. Dan Heng has always been sensitive to the presence of others but even looking straight at him, he cannot sense him at all. And this man is—
“Dan Feng,” the name rasps out of his parched throat inducing a string of dry coughs.
“Your perception leaves much to be desired, Dan Heng.” The pleasant voice drips with icy disdain that has Dan Heng bristling in response.
“Where am I? How are you here?” he asks warily.
“You are in no position to make demands of me. Tell me, when you committed to your action, had you thoroughly considered the consequences?”
It all returns to him in a rush—Stelle, the spell, they were fighting an Emanator.
“Are Stelle and March okay?” Dan Heng half rises, fear and dread quickening his pulse, but is immediately laid out by crippling pain that has him curling in on himself as sweat beads his brow.
Dan Feng watches him struggle with indifference. “I dislike repeating myself.”
...Arguing won’t get him anywhere with Dan Feng. Dan Heng reigns in his temper as he tries to think through the pain.
“I did. The Emanator targeted Stelle because of her Stellaron so I inferred that the spell was tailored to react with it. I intended to block the spell with Cloudhymn magic and should that fail, my resistance to mind-altering spells is higher than the others.”
“You failed,” Dan Feng snaps at him harshly. “Had I not been here, you would be little more than a vegetable right now.” Bright eyes flash with ire, his voice a rumbling growl.
Dan Feng saved him? That shouldn’t be possible, he shouldn’t even exist anymore—No, that’s not important right now.
“Dan Feng, please. Would you tell me what happened to my friends?” he tries.
It is not in Dan Heng’s nature to yield, but wherever they are must be a dream or a mindscape, which are by definition mutable, constantly changing and illusory. Yet this place is steady as bedrock with such sharp clarity that Dan Heng had initially thought he was in the real world.
This is not the creation of an ordinary mind, nor is it something Dan Heng has learned—this place is Dan Feng’s and right now, Dan Heng is in the palm of his hand.
“So you do possess a modicum of civility,” Dan Feng says sarcastically. “Your friends are well. The Astral Express and your allies arrived in a timely manner and the Emanator has been slain. The only casualty is you.”
Dan Heng breathes out a sigh of relief as his pulse settles.
Dan Feng continues on, “I did not give you leave to use my name. You will address me with respect.”
Dan Feng is still clinging to his title? This should be the Dan Feng that had gone through the Shackling Prison though.
“If you want me to call you Yinyue-jun, I will. But Yinyue-jun is many people, not a distinct individual so I thought you would prefer to be called by name,” Dan Heng explains carefully.
Dan Feng’s soft, humorless laugh has Dan Heng tensing. “In this, you are correct. But I have completed the rites of succession that eroded my self into the ubiquitous being Yinyue-jun, even my face is no longer my own. I am not as you, who has been freed of this honor.” Dan Feng’s lips curl in a sneer.
Dan Heng does not believe that Dan Feng’s personality had been overwritten, if only because Yubie had been said to be kind and benevolent.
Dan Feng is...not.
“I do not believe that you are someone so easily suppressed. Either way, what concerns me is not this, but what you want to be called.”
That has Dan Feng regarding him solemnly.
“...You may call me Dan Feng.”
“Thank you, Dan Feng. Can you tell me where this is?”
“Are you not even able to figure this out?” Dan Feng asks mockingly.
...This man is so irritating. The pounding headache rattling his skull does not help.
“This is a sanctuary in my mind that you created to protect me from the Emanator’s spell. If I’m still here...the spell is active?” It’s his best guess.
“You’re not a complete dullard at least. The Emanator’s spell is a curse that corrodes the mind, leaving an empty shell for their Aeon to reindoctrinate into one of their puppets. The current debilitated state of your body reflects the damage initially incurred on your pysche before I was able to ward off the curse.”
So the reason Dan Feng had left him in this condition is because he can’t heal him.
“We must await your recovery. Once your strength is sufficient, you will be able to face the curse directly. I can hold it off until then.”
“If it is an injury to the mind, how do I heal it?”
“With your innate willfullness and obstinacy, time is all you need.”
The delivery is more like a backhand without the compliment. Dan Heng is in too much pain to care about Dan Feng’s unkind manner, but it does make him wonder.
Does Dan Feng disapprove of him as he had in that vision? Dan Feng was not this unpleasant in the few memories he has recovered.
“How are you here? Have you always been in my mind?” The thought that someone has seen his private life without is knowledge is beyond disturbing.
“You do not need to know. Now you must rest.”
A clawed hand covers his eyes.
“Wait, Dan Feng...“ But he is already being pushed under by an oppressive force.
This bas—
~
“I do not tolerate idlers. You will be learning psychic spellcasting from me while you are here.”
Dan Heng is sitting up in bed, throbbing forehead pressed against his knees. He feels no better today—everything hurts.
“Weren’t you just insisting I rest?” He retorts sullenly.
Dan Heng has no objection to learning mind magic. Quite the opposite in fact. Especially if it means he can learn how to take this bastard down a peg.
When he woke, he had snarled at Dan Feng for putting him under without his consent.
Dan Feng had raised a perfectly shaped brow, covered Dan Heng’s eyes, and pushed him under again without even letting him finish his sentence.
“I do not believe you are so incapable that you cannot do both. You will rest when I deem it necessary.”
Dan Heng takes slow, even breaths. He has never been quick to anger, but Dan Feng’s despotism is trying.
Four thick books materialize on the bed with a wave of Dan Feng’s hand.
“Finish these.”
He walks out without another word.
Having to obey that man makes Dan Heng’s stomach curdle, but as insufferable as Dan Feng is being, he knows this is necessary. He has to learn how to fight off that curse. He does not know what Dan Feng’s deal is, but since he presumably resides in Dan Heng’s mind it is also to his benefit that Dan Heng succeed in this.
He picks up one of the books.
~
Dan Heng sits crosslegged on the bed, kneading his forehead.
He likes reading; it had been one of the only things he could enjoy while in the Shackling Prison but the convoluted language and small cramped characters on the pages have exacerbated his headache into a splitting pain.
It’s bad enough that he is wishing Dan Feng would knock him out again.
“Dan Feng,” Dan Heng calls. He doesn’t raise his voice, suspecting that Dan Feng knows everything that happens in this space.
A few seconds later, Dan Feng is walking through the door. He frowns when he sees the single book Dan Heng has managed to read and the pained grimace on his face.
“What is the matter?”
“The headache is worse. I can’t concentrate,” Dan Heng admits reluctantly. Given Dan Feng’s attitude so far, he doesn’t expect him to have any sympathy for Dan Heng’s excuses, but the man exists to be contrary.
Dan Feng comes over and touches his hand to Dan Heng’s forehead, Cloudhymn magic swirling around his fingers. The action stuns Dan Heng, because Dan Feng had said himself that his healing is ineffective so he is wasting energy just so the cold flow of the magic can soothe some of Dan Heng’s discomfort.
It does feel better though, so he leans his head into Dan Feng’s palm.
When the pain has subsided to a dull ache, Dan Feng withdraws his hand and sits in the bedside chair.
“Let’s try this. You may ask if you have a question.”
Dan Feng flips open the second book and starts reading it to him aloud.
...
It is probably because their time is limited. There is only so long Dan Feng can keep the curse at bay.
Dan Feng has a smooth, mellow voice that suits the archaic language of the texts, pleasing to the ear and, more crucially, does not exacerbate his migraine. He is just as contemptuous, but surprisingly patient when he answers Dan Heng’s questions explaining or discussing each point meticulously. When Dan Heng begins to tire, Dan Feng tells him to rest and takes his leave.
~
Constructs of the mind are rarely free of subconscious influence. Hoping to find a clue about Dan Feng’s motivations and the mystery of his existence, Dan Heng struggles to his feet with the intention to explore outside. He only manages a few shaking steps, hunched over with pain before his legs buckle.
As he had predicted, Dan Feng is standing disapprovingly in the doorway when Dan Heng looks up.
“I would like to go outside. Could you help me walk there please?”
He does not like asking Dan Feng for help, but there is an odd sense of urgency, no more than a gut feeling, but his intuition is seldom wrong.
Dan Feng comes over and lifts him into his arms.
“I can walk,” Dan Heng protests, though he is actually not sure he can. Drained from his brief exertion, he unwillingly melts into warm arms, the fine silk of Dan Feng’s robes soft against his cheek.
“Do not waste my time. I do not have the patience to watch you bumble along.”
Dan Heng’s internal grumbling is disrupted when they clear the front door, emerging into a traditional Xianzhou courtyard with a beautiful garden. Dan Feng’s steps resound as they cross the cherry wood bridge over a lotus pond. Lively carp leap from the waters as the bubbling of creeks plays accompaniment. Beyond the arch of the front gate is a sprawl of greenery presided over by a grand maple tree, its red and golden leaved branches reaching for the sky.
That is where Dan Feng brings him, setting him in a cushy hollow at the base of the tree.
A gentle breeze carries over the scent of the ocean, the view that greets Dan Heng filling him with quiet awe.
Grassy planes blend smoothly into a sweeping pearl white shoal, the deep blue ocean stretching endlessly beyond. The play of sunlight sparkles over tranquil waves as chaste white and blushing pink lotus flowers bob gently on the rolling swell.
Dan Feng settles on a thick tree root in a rustle of robes.
“Still haven’t noticed?” Dan Feng prods judgmentally.
...
The sky. In the blue expanse of the sky there is a small festering darkness in the corner.
“The corruption of the curse?”
“Indeed. It will progressively corrode the boundaries of this realm. You must be ready before the corruption covers the sky. Let us begin.”
In the following days, Dan Feng carries him outside for their lessons which advance to include meditation and spellcasting. Eventually, Dan Feng has him practicing psychic attacks and defense on him. Dan Heng never manages to break through, but his attempts have him knocking his mind up against Dan Feng’s, which is vast and tranquil as the ocean with a faint but perceptible warmth.
The distinct contrast to Dan Feng’s cruel words and callous manner gives rise to a suspicion in Dan Heng’s heart.
~
Dan Feng is looking out over the waters, mind distant when Dan Heng asks him, “Would you do it again?”
Dan Feng remains still as if he had not heard the question.
Dan Heng is about to resume his practice when Dan Feng speaks.
“I would not. Our endeavor only invited calamity. In the end, the Arbor still stands, my people whom I had sworn to protect were devastated, and Yingxing...I misjudged the stakes and others paid the price.”
Dan Feng remains turned away, hands folded behind his back.
Looking at that sorrowful silhouette Dan Heng realizes—Dan Feng is not wearing the bracer, his right hand covered by a plain black glove.
After Yingxing had put on his half of the pair, Dan Feng has never been without it, but now...does he feel undeserving?
Dan Heng turns his focus to his training, ignoring the tender ache in his chest.
~
Dan Feng continues reading to him, sometimes just a passage, other times an entire text. Dan Heng’s headaches have long resolved but neither of them make mention of it.
Sitting beneath the maple at Dan Feng’s side, Dan Heng listens to the noble, mellifluous voice as light winds rustle through the leaves and waves crash against the shore. A soothing symphony that quiets his thoughts as he looks out over the boundless sea.
~
As the stain of corruption spreads, Dan Feng’s tyrannical strength begins to fade though he betrays no sign of it until darkness envelops half the sky.
Shadows appear beneath his eyes, deepening with each passing day, but Dan Heng’s concerned inquiries are frostily rebuffed.
Dan Heng comes out one morning to find Dan Feng fast asleep, slumped in the hollow of the maple.
“I do not require rest in this place,” Dan Feng had told him when Dan Heng had inquired where he sleeps because the entirety of the house is the single room where Dan Heng rests. That is where Dan Heng carries Dan Feng now, laying him on the bed and tucking him beneath the sheets. He quietly studies and practices his spellwork by the bedside until Dan Feng wakes.
“Your concern is a hindrance. We cannot afford any delay. You must wake me if you find me in such a state.”
Dan Heng complies because he knows Dan Feng is right, but he first carries Dan Feng back to the room each time so that he may rest comfortably while they have their lessons.
These past few days, when Dan Feng is not asleep beneath the tree, he is meditating—as if saving his strength.
Is he conserving energy to maintain the ward? Or is he preparing for something else?
Unease twists in Dan Heng’s gut.
He does not ask, because Dan Feng will not answer.
~
They are practicing psychic attacks, Dan Heng the aggressor while Dan Feng defends. The iron fortifications warding Dan Feng’s mind falter for a single breath—and Dan Heng breaks through.
Dan Heng’s earnest need draws forth the memories and he sees.
He sees that Dan Feng had been but a nebulous collection of memories floating at the back of his mind, without consciousness or purpose.
A softness that surrounded Dan Heng when he was in the Shackling Prison—the small balm on his heart when he had been loneliest. A dense cloud that shielded him when nightmares of Dan Feng’s imprisonment threatened him.
A kernel of warmth when Dan Heng had resolved to blaze his own path
And then Dan Heng had fallen to the Emanator’s curse, mind and spirit devoured by darkness and that formless haze had become a manifestation of will.
A sanctuary created in an instant. An impenetrable shield to safeguard him.
And Dan Feng...Dan Feng is waiting.
Waiting until Dan Heng is strong enough to finish the job.
A final sacrifice.
“Don’t be so melodramatic. There is nothing to sacrifice when I am less than a ghost, no more than a faint impression upon your mind. It is merely a return to the status quo, a state of normalcy.”
Dan Feng’s tired face comes into focus as his tears fall. A gloved hand reaches out to brush them away.
“Dan Feng.” The man startles when Dan Heng surges into his lap, hands alighting uncertainly on Dan Heng’s hips. He cups Dan Feng’s face in his hands. “You’re real. You’re here. Don’t lie to me.”
Dan Feng replies evenly, “I have long passed. My time has come and gone. I am but a fleeting mirage in the story of your life.”
That may be true, but it won’t be a return to before. Because Dan Feng has always been with him, but if he does this, nothing of him will remain.
Dan Heng clutches him close, pressing his face into his robes. “I don’t want you to go. There must be a way. Let me help you. Let me fight with you.”
Dan Feng sighs deeply, head thumping lightly against the headboard. “All my efforts were for naught. How did you even get this attached when I have been nothing but unpleasant to you? Dan Heng, I do not exist.” Two claws tip up Dan Heng’s chin. “But I see that I cannot convince you. Foolish stubbornness.” He lays his hand gently on Dan Heng’s head. “There is no other way.”
~
Dan Feng sleeps away most of the days, conserving his strength. He gives Dan Heng more books to read and instructs him to continue his training.
When Dan Heng climbs into bed to lay beside him, Dan Feng rebukes him. “Inappropriate.”
But Dan Feng does not tell him to leave, so Dan Heng curls against his side to sleep, pulling the covers over them both.
~
The day comes when Dan Feng is unable to rise from the bed.
“Can you take me to the maple?” he asks of Dan Heng.
He carries Dan Feng outside and sits with him beneath the tree, hugging him from behind.
Dan Feng leans into him with a tired exhale, the silken fall of his hair tickling Dan Heng’s cheek.
Menacing gloom nearly blots out the sky, but the realm is still filled with light—the brilliance of the lotuses in the sea, an innate radiance of the maple that cannot be suppressed.
~
While Dan Feng is sleeping, Dan Heng scours the bookshelves.
The sanctuary is a part of Dan Feng, so if the man has figured out another method, it would be here.
Dan Heng finds his answer.
~
“You do not know what you are asking of me.”
“A permanent bond to last a lifetime. I do know.”
“And you would never again have a moment of solitude. Someone forever looking over your shoulder seeing your most private affairs.”
“You created this.” Dan Heng waves at—everything. “If you didn’t want to look, you would not.”
Dan Heng does not need to question whether Dan Feng would want this. He had already felt it back then, that Dan Feng would always choose to watch over him.
“Regardless of my abilities, I may not have a choice. You must understand, the bond has never been used in this manner. The long term effects are unpredictable.”
“If that happens, so be it. I am willing.”
Dan Heng is aware how crazy he is to suggest this, but he wants Dan Feng and he is not letting go. He cannot stand the thought of Dan Feng being gone for good.
Dan Feng kneads his forehead in frustration. “This is an equal bond. I may even be able to take over your body. I may possess it without even intending to. Are you still willing?”
Dan Heng folds his arms. “That doesn’t sound so bad. I should let you out to play sometimes.”
“This is no joking matter,” Dan Feng scolds sternly, but there is an upward twitch at the corner of his mouth.
The points Dan Feng has raised are all concerning, but if the risk had been high or if he had not already thought of workarounds for each issue Dan Feng would have refused him by now. He has always had Dan Heng’s best interests at heart.
Dan Feng looks him in the eye, steady and somber. “Dan Heng, do you understand what kind of bond this is?”
Dan Heng meets his gaze without hesitation. “A soul bond. Closer than marriage.”
Dan Feng is the first to look away.
He takes Dan Feng’s hand in both of his own. “I want to share with you the freedom you longed for.” He brings the hand to his lips. “Please, Dan Feng. I want this. I want to see the future with you. Together.”
Dan Feng’s gaze is soft as he reaches out to caress his cheek.
“Foolish.”
~
Dan Feng’s periods of consciousness are brief now, so he only gives a barebones explanation of the archaic text detailing the ritual. The preparations for the bonding are intricate and complex, but once they are completed the formation of the bond itself is simple.
They stand before one another now at the center, the elaborate spell radiating outwards to fill the room.
“Hold still,” Dan Feng instructs Dan Heng.
And then he kisses him, sealing their mouths together.
Golden light flares blindingly bright around them, but Dan Heng barely notices, entranced by the slender fingers against his jaw, the soft lips moving against his own. Minding Dan Feng’s words, he fists his hands at his sides to keep himself from touching.
As they are bound together, hearts and souls, Dan Heng feels him.
Dan Feng is the profound depths of the sea. The majesty of the maple.
A cloud of warmth enfolding Dan Heng in its embrace.
~
Dan Heng stands on the shoals, looking to the sinister darkness of the skies above. He feels no fear because Dan Feng stands at his side, strong and tall once again.
And then it happens.
Dan Heng’s bracer flares hot with wild energy, an unquenchable flame that could only belong to one man.
“Dan Feng,” he calls the other man with urgency, with exhilaration, “Put on your bracer. Right now.”
Dan Feng gives him a startled look. He hurriedly summons the bracer. His hands are trembling violently, so Dan Heng gently takes the bracer from him. Sliding it onto Dan Feng’s arm, he buckles the straps snugly.
“Yingxing...Ren...” There is a wet sheen over Dan Feng’s eyes, his breathing harsh and loud as he feels Ren’s heat against his skin.
“He is here with us. Let’s do this. Together.” Dan Heng holds his hand out to Dan Feng.
They turn to face the sky, hand in hand.
[End.]