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Chapter Text

Leonardo didn't feel the ground. His whole body felt as if he were floating around thick mist, somewhere cold and lost. As he became more aware of this, his immediate thought was, am I dead? But that was strange. Why would he be dead? His mind flickered to events that took place recently. There was fighting, there was anger, there was a big blast…

He flinched as he remembered that last part. It flooded back to him, Donatello working on some machine with Michelangelo, Leonardo yelling at him, and Raphael walking in. Leo pushed Donnie back, and he tripped and fell onto his project. 

And there he was. Leo was in seemingly nowhere. He tried opening his eyes but they burnt like he was looking directly at the sun and he was close enough to feel the heat. His throat bubbled and he tried to groan but he didn't know if he was successful, as he couldn't hear.

Suddenly, a shock ripped through his body and he felt his back hit the floor with force. He grunted from the impact and his face contorted into a grimace. “Fuck,” he was able to utter as he moved his limbs, bones cracking and skin stiff. His eyes were finally able to open, but he put his hands up to block a blinding light. “Nngh.”

Leo blinked a few times, allowing his eyes to adjust, and recognized the light as a street lamp. Where was he? 

There was movement in the corner of his eye and he snapped his head to see his brother next to him. “Mikey!” He said, crawling over. He checked his brother's pulse and let out the breath he was holding when he felt his heartbeat. Relief washed over him but it was short-lived as he looked around at his surroundings once again. The street light blinked as if it knew Leo was not supposed to be there. Following the light, there was a dumpster and a wall with graffiti. They were in an alleyway, but not one that he recognized.

“Mikey,” he whispered and shook his brother. 

Michelangelo mumbled something under his breath and swatted Leo away. “Go ‘way,” he muttered, “tryn’ to sleep.” 

Leonardo shook his body harder. “Mikey!” He hissed and his brother shot up with his hands up, ready to fight. 

“Huh?” He said bewildered. He wildly looked around. “What? What happened?” Leo watched his brother rub his eyes and smack his lips as if he had just risen from a peaceful slumber. 

The older turtle scanned his brother quickly, a habit he had to make sure his brother was not hurt. “Are you okay?” He said although he felt asking that was useless because his brother was seemingly fine. 

“Yeah?” Mikey asked as he looked around. “Uhm, bro, I don't know if you know this, but where are we?” 

“Do you remember what happened before this?” Leo asked, tilting his head a little bit to the side. 

Mikey blinked and looked around to think. “Uhm… I remember an explosion.” He said. Immediate annoyance flooded through Leo’s body. 

“Is that it?” He couldn't help but snap. 

Mikey crossed his arms. “I don't know!” He said in frustration. 

For just a second, there was a horrible tension between the two of them, but Leo snapped out of it and looked around yet again. “Let's figure out where we are.” He ‘tched.’ Mikey grumbled something under his breath and Leo opened his mouth to snap at him once more but there was someone here.

Leo froze and looked around again but through a different type of lens. He couldn't quite sense where this figure was, but it was there nonetheless. Mikey caught on quickly and stayed silent, eyeing the space around them as well.

The whole alley was silent. 

“Hello?” Leo called out stiffly after a moment. His voice seemed to carry and burn out like pieces of ember. “Is there anyone there?” 

There was movement in the shadows. A big, lumbering figure that when Leo saw it, he couldn't believe he didn't notice it. He immediately placed a hand on one of his katanas and got up in a crouch. Instinctively, he put a hand up in front of Michelangelo to protect him. “Who are you?” 

“Who are you ?” A voice called out from behind them. Leo snapped his head to see where that voice came from and there was another figure. The two were surrounded.

Mikey realized the situation and he jumped up, shell on shell with Leo, and took his nun-chucks out. 

Leo faced the big figure as Mikey faced the second. The older turtle took out both his katanas. No one moved for a second. Leonardo didn't know what his next move should be and waited for the opposing end to do something. 

The large figure stepped out. “Slash?” Leo blurted immediately. The creature was Slash. Although, it seemed to be. It was a large turtle, big and covered in scars that said 'don't mess with me’ as well as cloth coverings and a red bandana. 

He looked confused. “Uhh…” he trailed off, shifting uncomfortably. “No?” 

Leonardo shook his head, clearing his thoughts. “Is that you, Leo?” The big turtle said after a heartbeat.

“That's not our Leo, Raph,” said the initial voice, and Leo turned slightly to see yet another turtle walk around them up to ‘Slash.’ This second turtle was smaller but lanky, covered in various tech. Said tech was being used by him at the moment, a little screen that folded out from his arm. 

“How do you know my name?” Leo demanded, raising his swords up. 

“Wait, Raph?” Mikey echoed with confusion and disregarded any thought of threat.

Leo and Mikey were completely ignored, at least by the smaller turtle. The one that looked like Slash but was called Raph was about to say something but was cut off. 

“I think they are parallels of our dear brothers,” he said nonchalantly. “These are not our Leon nor our Michael.” 

The larger turtle made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth. “Where are our brothers then?” He asked, with concern rising in his voice.

Parallels? Leonardo thought back to his time in space, the teleporter-laser, his alternate self. Was he in another dimension? Mikey seemed to not understand the situation. “What are you talking about?” He asked, his voice timid.

“Mikey, I think we are in a different dimension,” he muttered quietly, not taking his eyes off of the alternate versions of their brothers. He felt his brother stiffen. 

“Oh.”

“You'd be correct, not-Leonardo.” The lanky turtle said.

Leo looked at the bandana colors of these two turtles. “So you're,” he started slowly, “Donatello and Raphael?” 

“And you guys are Leonardo and Michelangelo!” Raphael said more joyfully as if he had just aced a hard test. 

“How did we get here?” Leo asked.

Donatello and Raphael looked at each other. “Well, we were hoping you'd know,” Raphael said with a frown. 

“You seem to have switched places with our brothers,” Donatello added, closing his arm tech with a small click.  

This situation was unnerving for Leonardo. They were in a whole other universe, a strange place, and his other two brothers were at home with Leo and Mikey's own alternate counterparts . Not to mention he couldn't even imagine how Mikey felt, as being in a different universe would be stressful for him considering his past with Dimension X. He took a second to take the sights of Donatello and Raphael in. Raphael, for a change, was huge . Standing at about six feet, Leo would guess. It was a drastic contrast to his brother who was the shortest. In addition, his whole demeanor was different as well. He held himself up with confidence and a sort of pride. There were scratches on his plastron and his mask was large enough to fit over the top of his head. 

And then Donatello. Leonardo wasn't sure if he made any face other than his blank stare. And were those eyebrows drawn on his mask? He did not look too different from his own Donnie, but he was completely covered in tech. His mask was like Raphael’s, covering the top of his head with goggles that sat neatly on his forehead. There wasn't nervous energy whizzing around him, as there tends to be with his own Donatello. 

“So, what do we do?” Donatello asked, looking up at his brother with an eyebrow quirked up. If Leo had eyebrows he would have raised one as well. It's just the absurdity of Donnie asking Raph what to do.

Raphael brought his hand to his chin. “Well,” he said, thinking hard, “is it possible for you to build an interdimensional portal to zap them back?” 

Donatello seemed to think for a moment and sighed. “I could, but even so, I do not believe I have the capabilities to create such a machine.” 

“Leo,” Mikey said suddenly, nudging his brother, “I think I know how we got here!” 

Leonardo turned to him expectedly and so did Donatello and Raphael. “Dee’s machine! I hung out with him while he built it,” he explained, “and I think it's supposed to be an interdimensional thingy! That's why we teleported here.” 

Leo blinked. A feeling of shame rushed through his veins when he recalled that memory again, but he brushed it off. 

“You're telling me, your Donatello was building a machine? An interdimensional teleporter?” Donatello asked, again with the raised eyebrow. 

Mikey nodded. “I remember. He also explained how he made it too.” Mikey then smiled. “He let me weld some of the metal pieces together!” 

“He let you weld? No wonder it malfunctioned!” Leo scowled. Mikey’s smile immediately fell. 

Leonardo knew that comment was too much. If he's honest, he doesn't even know why he said it. Mikey was too careless about things and it was going to get them all killed one day. Yet, he just acts like everything is fine . 

Donatello and Raphael both looked at each other for a moment. “Okay, Michael - do your brothers call you Michael?” Donatello asked. He sighed as Mikey shook his head. “Okay, Mikey , do you think you could assist me with building a machine?” 

Mikey looked at Leo at first but when he said nothing, he turned back. “I dunno,” he said. He finally sheathed his nun-chucks. “I don't think I would be able to remember.” 

“Come on, Little Buddy!” Raph smiled and took a step forward, crouching slightly, “I'm sure you'll be able to remember!” Raphael was such a big guy yet his entire presence was comforting.

Both Mikey and Leo froze, and Leonardo narrowed his eyes. Raph appeared to get nervous. “Uh, did I say something wrong?” He asked

Leo shook his head. His Raphael wouldn't usually do the whole supportive thing - at least not often.  “Our Raph is just,” a pause, “very different from you.” He decided to say instead. 

Raphael shrugged it off and Donatello waved his hand dismissively. “We shouldn't be out here for too long. As much as I would hate to bring weird, unknown turtles into our home, we can't have you two wandering around.” 

Raphael agreed. “Let's go.” He said.

Donatello led the way as Raphael ended up behind Leo and Mikey, a way to make sure they didn't get into any trouble. Leo would have been insulted but he didn't mind that right now. He was concerned. He was only thinking about his Donnie and Raph - and what they were dealing with back home.

---

Donatello screamed. It was a really high-pitched scream, he had to admit. But when your brother pushes you into an unstable machine that's supposed to cut through time and space itself? Maybe that would justify a scream like that. There was a blast and a blinding light, and he immediately tucked his limbs into his shell. 

Seconds passed, and there seemed to be nothing happening so he emerged cautiously. He scanned the now-dark room. It was too dark, so he stumbled around to a drawer and pulled out a lamp. With some fumbling of his hands, he found the ‘on’ switch and flipped it. 

His eyes hurt yet again due to the light but he quickly recovered. Donatello first saw Raphael leaning against the wall, hand on his head. He started to make his way over to his twin but froze when he saw the two figures on the floor. 

These turtles were not his brothers. He noticed the blue and orange masks, and then the corresponding weapons but these turtles were not his brothers. “Who are you?” He could only gasp as the air was still knocked out of his lungs. His eyes flicked to Raph who still had a hand on the back of his skull and his mind whirled with the possibilities of a head injury and also the fact the two turtles on the floor were not his brothers!

“Who are you?” He demanded again. 

There was a very dramatic groan from the turtle with the blue bandana. “What the freak.” He muttered and sat up. He rubbed the back of his neck and blinked his eyes open. “Erm,” he looked around and locked eyes with Donnie. “What?”

Without looking at the second turtle, he reached a hand over to nudge him. “Psst! Mike!” He whispered. If he was trying to be quiet, he failed. 

“Come on Leo, let me be!” The orange turtle grumbled, swatting his hand away. 

With those names being said, Donatello suddenly realized what happened. His machine worked? 

“Donnie, what the fuck?” That was Raph. 

Donnie approached his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head?” 

He was brushed off almost immediately. “I'm fine,” Raph growled, “but where is Leo? Mikey?”

Donnie looked back at the two turtles on the floor. They both shuffled and stared. “I know I'm all famous and all,” the blue one said slowly, “but remind me who you are again? I see a lot of people.” 

Donnie squinted his eyes. “I think you and our brothers swapped places.” He said blankly. His brain was thinking about everything but nothing at the same time. 

“Wait, huh?” The orange one said. His face showed exaggerated horror, his mouth agape and Donnie noticed the little tooth gap he had. 

“I'm with him - huh?” Raph put his hands on his sais, something he does when he's threatened.

“My machine,” Donatello said, “it's supposed to be an interdimensional portal creator.” Raph stared at his brother. “I think - I think when Leo pushed me, it sent him and Mikey to their dimension,” he motioned towards the turtles on the floor and approached his emergency light box, “and in turn, they came here. To ours.” He messed with some switches and the lights came on again.

There was silence in the lab. “So, you're our brothers’ alter egos?” Donnie assumed Michelangelo said. 

“I wouldn't say that…” Donnie trailed off. “But, yes.”

Michelangelo and Leonardo looked at each other and laughed. “Raph's tiny!” Michelangelo snorted, pointing at Raphael and putting a hand on his stomach. 

“Holy - this is too good!” Leonardo laughed and rolled on the floor. The joy radiating off of these two created a sick feeling in Donnie’s stomach.

“Now I'm confused,” Donnie muttered.

Leonardo wiped away a tear that Donnie was sure wasn't there. “Our Raph is like - huge in comparison to yours. He's so small!” The grin on his face was wide.

Raph crossed his arms. “Oh really? I don't think you're gonna be thinkin’ I'm small once I connect my fist to your jaw!” 

This silenced the two turtles. “He's so angry too,” Mikey whispered to his brother. Again, they weren't very quiet.

Donatello took this moment to really analyze what was currently happening. His two brothers were gone. They were, hopefully, in another universe where these two turtles came from. He looked at the counterparts of his brothers. 

Leonardo, for once, looked like he didn't have the entire world on his shoulders. His face was soft and smug, with red crescent moons plastered over each of his eyes. He was a blue-eared slider, Donnie realized. He quickly glanced over to Michelangelo. He was an ornate box turtle, with some splotches of orange on his limbs. This intrigued Donatello. He was sure himself and his brothers were diamondback terrapin turtles but never could figure it out. He assumed the mutagen messed with their DNA too much to really specify the species. 

He noticed the 'smiley face’ knee pads on the legs of Michelangelo and couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh. Mikey always wanted colorful knee pads, but Master Splinter shot down that idea pretty quickly. 

“Don,” Raph snapped, “where are Leo and Mikey? Can we bring them back?” 

Donatello looked at his machine. It was most definitely broken. The side was bent inwards from Donnie's body and many of the cords snapped, needing replacement. “I would have to rebuild my I.P.C first.” 

“So we are stuck here?” Michelangelo said, with that same horrified expression and looking between all the turtles in the room. “Ohmigosh - Raph is going to freak!” 

“Miguel, do not fret!” Leonardo said, finally getting up onto his feet. “We shall figure it out, with these imposters here.” 

Raph gasped. “Excuse me? Yeah, I am not dealing with this bullshit again .” He snapped and left the room. Donnie hates to admit this but he felt lighter with his brother gone.

Donnie still grimaced and looked at the mess Raph left him to deal with. 

“Wait!” Michelangelo exclaimed, “We're in another dimension?” Donnie blinked at his sudden realization. This Mikey did not seem so bright either. 

“Yes,” He said simply. The two turtles looked at each other. 

“This is kinda cool, Mikey!” Leonardo grinned and started looking around. “Is this your lab?” He looked towards Donnie. Donnie nodded and Leonardo started snooping around. “Not as high-tech as my brother’s,” he said while frowning. 

Donnie felt his face heat up. He felt silly, already embarrassed from being compared to his own self, but he took a deep breath. “I assume we would be different?” He said with his voice calm.

Mikey nodded intensely. 

Both of the strange turtles were touching all of Donnie’s things and he brought them out of his lab to the living area, like a sheepdog rounding cattle. At least, that's what it felt like. They were curious and childish, joking with each other like everything was normal. There was a pang in Donnie's chest, seeing how nicely they talked to one another. He knew that they'd been through a lot, though. The scars littered on both the turtles spoke volumes, some of their joking held more weight of the past. 

Yet they still were a family . Donnie shook his head. He could not allow himself to feel jealous right now.

“Please don't wander,” Donnie said, letting them settle into the living area. He put down some paper and old crayons he found, as they were Michelangelo’s request when he asked if he could get anything for the turtles. Leonardo seemed content with the T.V. He found 'Space Heroes' and put that into the VHS player. “If you need anything, holler.” 

Satisfied that they would do as he said, he left to find his brother. He tried his brother's room and then the dojo where he found Raphael practicing his kicking. His presence wasn't noticed at first so he took a moment to watch his brother. Raph didn't look good. His skin was pale from lack of sleep and nutrition and any previous attempts of Donnie helping his brother were ignored. His movements were sloppy, his stance all wrong, and he was frustrated. Aren't we all? Donnie thought. 

“What are we going to do, Raph?” Donnie muttered, glancing at the shine of their father. Raph stopped and crossed his arms. 

“Why are you asking me?” 

“Because,” Donnie hissed, “Our brothers are gone and replaced by turtles from another dimension!” 

Raph flung his arms in the air, “I still dunno what that's gotta do with me!” The air around them started to stir, encouraging them to fight. 

Donnie pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, Raph,” He said, “At least pretend to care about our brothers.” 

Raphael grabbed Donatello’s shoulders and gripped them hard. “You don't get to say that!” He snarled. Donnie gave a hard shove to his brother’s plastron, causing him to stumble backward. 

“Back off! Just think for once!” 

“It's probably better for everyone now that Leo’s gone.” This sparked anger in Donnie's chest. How could his brother say that? Donatello balled up his fists and clamped his eyes shut. 

This was so stupid. Why can't Raph just listen to him? Why has the death of their father shoved a wedge between the cracks in their relationship? It feels like with every passing day, a big hammer just smashes into that wedge, furthering the divide. Leo and Mikey were in a different dimension. Donnie can't even begin to think how that would affect Mikey. His experience with Dimension X? He shook his head, clearing it.

“Just - can you help me?” Donnie said, starting off angry but ending with an almost pleading tone. “Help me watch them as I rebuild the machine. Please? You live here too.” There was no use in arguing right now. There will be another time for that. There always will. 

Raphael stared at him, different emotions flickering across his face. He huffed in defeat. “Fine.” He grumbled. Donnie knew he wanted to say more, but he was probably too tired to. Raph left the room sluggishly. Donnie sighed. He was exhausted too.

He faced his father's shrine again. He walked up to it slowly, like it was forbidden to get too close to it. He reached to grab the photo with the five of them but hesitated. Leo usually doesn't let him even think about touching that photograph but he wasn't here right now. He picked it up delicately and cradled it in his hands. 

They all looked so happy. 

His hands tensed around the frame and he felt tears pickle from behind his eyes. “Fuck,” he mumbled, “come on, Don. We don't have time for this.” He took some deep breaths. Something he's been doing very often, between Leo’s demanding nature and Raph’s rage. 

He placed the photo back in its rightful place carefully and left the dojo.

Chapter Text

Michelangelo was scared. Following these turtles to their home in the sewers was fine. Being with his big brother Leo was fine. It was just the fact he was in a whole other universe that apparently was not fine. 

They were running and jumping across rooftops, just like home. They were in New York City, just like home. They were on Earth, just like home. There was nothing to be afraid of. 

Yet he absentmindedly put a hand on his side, where his oxygen converter would be. He absentmindedly felt for the breathing tube with his tongue. He scrunched his nose. This was not Dimension X, he had to remind himself. He's safe. He's okay. Taking some deep breaths, he decided that he was fine.

All four of the turtles jumped down from the rooftop to a manhole. 

“Dude, no way!” Mikey said, “I would've never guessed you lived in the sewers!” He grinned. It didn't matter to him if his brother just frowned at him. When Mikey was stressed, jokes were the way to go. 

“Not the time for jokes, Mikey.” 

“I didn't realize your Leonardo was such a killjoy,” Donatello commented to Mikey, as he lifted the manhole plate. Mikey couldn't help but snort to agree, but Leo was becoming annoyed. 

“Why, what's your Leo like?” Leo said while slipping underground after Donatello. Mikey followed, then Raphael.

“My twin is much more annoying than you,” he said simply, “you're way too serious.” 

“Wait, twin?” Mikey asked. He stepped over some trash. “You and Leo are twins? Are you both the oldest?”

“I'm the oldest,” Raphael said almost proudly. “And the leader,” he added. Now that was cool. 

“Really?” Mikey asked, walking backward to face Raphael. “Leo's the oldest and our leader,” he explained while gesturing to his older brother, who he bumped into. 

“Can't imagine Raph being a leader. How do you guys do anything?” Leo asked, slightly shoving Mikey off of him with his shoulder.

“I mean,” Raphael said looking confused, “we do things… fine.” He stated that slowly, not really understanding the connotation of what Leo said. 

“So, am I still the youngest? Or - is Mikey?” Mikey questioned. 

Donatello nodded. “This way,” he said. 

They had entered their home. And it was so cool! The first thing Mikey noticed was how spacious it was. It stretched high up, with three different levels and it was all lit up with string lights. There was a skate ramp on the base floor surrounded by a moat. Excitement sparked through Mikey. He always wanted a skate ramp in the lair. 

“Your lair is so cool!” He beamed. Any anxiety he had been feeling died down. “Can I skateboard?” 

“Sure, Little Man!” Raphael grinned. “Uh, but first,” he said looking at Donatello, “we should probably let Dad know the situation first.” 

Mikey's blood went cold and he immediately looked at Leonardo. His brother's face was trapped in a haunted expression, his eyes furrowed and pursed lips. 

“Oh, pa- pa !” Donatello called out dramatically, disappearing into a different room. Raphael looked unsure if he should follow or not, but made the decision to stay. 

“Your Splinter is alive?” Leo asked. It sounded like he just let out a breath that he had been holding in forever. 

Raphael blinked. “Well, yeah,” he said. He paused and thought about it. “Is yours? Is he…” he trailed off, obviously not comfortable with asking the question he wanted to. 

“Is he alive?” Leo read his mind, “No, he died.” His voice was heavy and he looked away. Mikey brought his head down to gaze at the floor, his chest becoming constricted. The confirmation that their father wasn't alive brought a new feeling of grief over Mikey and he swallowed thickly. He doesn't think Leo ever said explicitly that he was dead. 

“I'm sorry,” Raphael said after a moment. Mikey looked up at him, and his face held one of the most sincere and caring faces he had ever seen. For a moment Mikey felt very safe. “I can't - my gosh. I can't even imagine what you guys are feeling. Or what you're going through.”

“We’re okay,” Leo said. 

Mikey didn't know a lot of things, but he knew Leo was a liar. 

Things were not okay. All there was inside their lair was either silence or arguing. He would've thought that Raph and Leo would be the two who fought the most, but it was actually Donnie and Leo who were screaming all the time. This was something Mikey didn't understand, but he thought that Leo had given up on Raphael. Mikey thought back to what happened to get himself and his brother here anyway. Mikey was with Donnie, watching him work on his project. Leo comes storming in, talking about duty and responsibility, as Donnie blows up on him. Raphael comes in hearing, just in time for Donnie to get shoved. Then a big boom!

Mikey got pulled back to the present when Donatello came back in. “Dad is busy watching his show,” he said, “so you two will see him later.” 

He doesn't seem to notice the tense atmosphere, or he did but didn't comment or care. “I'll be in my lab.” He said, “Michael, would you care to join me?” 

Mikey looked at Leo. “Do you think I could eat something first?” He asked, rubbing his stomach. Raphael nodded. “Yeah! We've had a long day, we should get pizza!” The talk of pizza brought a grin to Mikey’s face. 

“Really? You guys like pizza too?” Mikey asked.

“What else on this earth would we eat?” Donatello said, “Could you go get some, Raph?” 

His oldest brother nodded. “Sure, I'll go get it. Do either of you want to come?” He looked at Leo and Mikey. 

“Do you Leo?” Mikey asked.

“Mikey, can I talk to you for a second?” Leo asked, turning to his brother. They were able to go off to the side away from the other two turtles and Mikey looked at Leo quizzically. 

“We can't get too comfortable here,” he said, his voice low, “we don't know the intentions of these mutants. I don't trust them.” Ah, okay. 

Mikey frowned. “Leo, they are mutant turtles just like us! How bad can they really be?” They both looked over to their brother’s counterparts. They spoke to each other softly, Raphael was grinning like he had just said something immensely funny, and Donatello smirked and replied, probably with his own joke. Mikey couldn't see how they would be untrustworthy. If anything, their vibes sparked envy inside of the turtle, how carefree they were able to converse. “If you don't wanna go get pizza, I'll go with Raph!” 

But Leonardo shook his head. “I don't want you alone, Mikey, not after what you've been through.” 

“You don't have to baby me all the time, Leo,” Mikey grumbled while crossing his arms, “I'm okay.” Mikey never considered himself a liar like his older brother. Leo seemed to get twitchy. 

“Mikey, just for once can you listen to me?” 

Something snapped. 

“I do listen to you, Leo!” Mikey screamed. “You're the one who never listens to me!” Leo widened his eyes and put his hands up. 

“Mikey, stop yelling!” 

Mikey balled up his fists. “It's not fair! He's not here anymore, so you don't have to follow all his rules anymore!”

“How could you say that? You've never shown him respect, and you still don't despite him gone!” 

“I do respect him! He was my father too, Leo!” 

At this point, both Raphael and Donatello were concerned. “What's going on?” Raphael asked.

“It's just not fair!” Mikey cried, “It’s not fair! It's not fair, it's not fair, itsnotfairitsnotfair - !” 

“You're being childish!” Leo snapped. “I'm just trying to make sure you're okay!” Mikey felt warm tears fall down his face. Why couldn't Leo just listen to him for once? It honestly amazed the turtle how much Leonardo just didn't understand him. He was their leader yet didn't know anything about who exactly he was leading. Their father’s death created a home of strangers to Mikey, strangers who don't care to speak to each other. 

“Hey, hey!” Raphael said calmly, placing a hand on both Leo and Mikey’s shoulders. “There's no need to fight, guys.” 

Mikey was breathing hard and he stared at his older brother. Leo’s face was unreadable as he stared back. 

“Leonardo,” Raph said, “why don't you come with me to get pizza instead?” Leonardo turned to the large turtle. His eyes showed flashes of what he wanted to say but he took a breath. 

“Okay,” he said. 

And they left. Mikey wiped his tears and sat down on the floor with his head in his hands. 

“Do you guys always fight like this?” Donatello asked after a few seconds. 

Mikey sniffed. “Yeah. Well, no. But yeah?” He sighed. “We weren't like this. But then…” he trailed off. 

“Your Splinter died,” Donatello said and his voice felt like a stab in the heart. “Raphael told me seconds before you guys started fighting.” 

There was another silence. “When did it happen?” 

“A few months ago,” Mikey replied. Flashes of his father's corpse and Super Shredder appeared in his mind. He tucked his legs to his chest. “We used to be okay. Things were hard but we were okay,” he continued, “but now we're a mess. Just a big mess.” 

Mikey started to cry again. “And - and, we don't even talk anymore. I mean, me and Dee do and I watch him work sometimes but even he snaps at me, and I try to be positive but it feels like everyone hates me. But - but then they all worry about me because of my time in Dimension X and it gets confusing because it also feels like they don't care! And - and Raph hasn't spoken to me in weeks, and Leo doesn't watch cartoons with me anymore! And - and Leatherhead is getting old so he can't hang out with me as much anymore. Mondo Gecko went to freaking California! And - and I just,” he took some harsh breaths, “I just want my brothers back.” 

Mikey finally noticed Donatello crouching on the floor next to him, with a hand on his shoulder. “It's, um, okay,” he tried, his voice sounding unsure and uncomfortable. “There there?” Mikey couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of what the other turtle was doing. But it also made a sob slip from his mouth. Why was a Donatello from another universe comforting him more than his own Donnie? And why was he doing it better? 

“I'm sorry,” he said, wiping his face, “this must be annoying.” 

Donatello shook his head. “No no! My Michael thinks crying is important for the soul. I just do not know how to comfort you well. That is usually the job for Doctor Feelings,” he said, doing air quotes as he said ‘Doctor Feelings.’ Mikey didn't know who that was but he giggled. 

“ Woah! Don, who's this guy? ” Mikey jumped at the robotic voice and looked up to see a flying robot. 

“An alternate version of Michelangelo,” Donatello replied. “Mike, this is Sheldon. Sheldon, Mikey.” 

Sheldon looked at Mikey and he didn't even know that a robot could look so sassy. “ Nice to meet you, ” He said, “ imposter.” He added that last part quietly. 

“Sheldon!” Donatello snapped, “Go to your room!” 

The robot muttered some words and flew off. 

“My Donnie made a robot too,” Mikey said, “his name is metal head.” 

Donatello suggested that we go to his lab to work on attempting to build an interdimensional portal if Mikey was up for it, and he was. They moved to the top floor of the atrium where his lab was located. Mikey looked around with his jaw dropped. It was so much different than Donnie’s lab. First, it wasn't as messy. It had a warm purple hue glowing everywhere, and it was neat and organized. “Your lab is so cool, Dee!” 

Donatello gave him a brief tour and then went straight to his desk. He pulled out some blueprint paper and a few pencils. 

“So, I know some of the math in order to build a machine like this,” he said, “but I don't want to make anything that will cause an explosion.”

“Oh!” Mikey said, brightening up, “Dee didn't want that happening either!” And Mikey explained to the best of his abilities what his brother had done instead. It was a very vague description but Donatello was able to interpret it. 

“That,” he exclaimed, “is actually a very good idea!” 

And they went to work. And as they worked, Mikey talked. He talked about his father, his brothers, the adventures they've been on. Shredder, then Super Shredder. Baxter Stockman, the Foot Clan. Donatello shared his experiences with the same people.

“Yeah. Then there's the Kraang.” Mikey mentioned. 

Donatello dropped his tool. It clattered on the floor and Mikey looked over immediately to see a horrified look on Donatello's face. 

“The Kraang? They're in your universe too?” 

Mikey blinked. “We defeated them,” he said, “and the Untrom were set free from Kraang-Prime.” 

Donatello looked away. His eyes were shut and he brought both arms up close to his chest. And he started shaking .

“Don? Are you okay?” Mikey asked, jumping up and walking over. He tried to place a hand on his shoulder, as he had done for Mikey. 

“No,” Donatello said through gritted teeth and took a step away, “no - don't touch, please -”

Mikey stood there to let the other turtle compose himself. “You're okay,” he said quietly. All he wanted to do was help. Minutes go by and Donatello stops hyperventilating, he stops shaking, and he takes a deep breath. 

“I know I am,” he said after a moment, “we defeated the Kraang too.” 

“What happened?”

And Donatello told him about Casey Jones, the portal, Raphael, Leonardo, the ship . “I'm still in that ship, though,” he said, looking down at nothing from where he sat on his chair, “I'm still inside that ship. For a moment I was connected to all of Kraang. For a moment I was Kraang,” he took another breath. “I felt the Kraang and all they've created. I felt Raph. I felt his hatred.” 

“It's over now though!” Mikey said. 

But Donatello shook his head. “I still feel them. On me, inside me. I wake up not being able to breathe most nights. I don't think I'll ever escape them.”

There was silence. Mikey took a seat. “I feel the same way, Dee.” He muttered. He took a breath too. “I was stupid, and I just blindly jumped into a random portal. But it led to Dimension X.” He paused. Donatello looked at him intently, listening to every word he said. So he continued.

“It is the dimension home to the Kraang. Or - was. Now it's for Untrom. But I was there for a long time. Months I think.” 

Donatello gasped. “What?” He asked and Mikey nodded.

“I dunno, but I had to learn to survive on my own. While also figuring out where the Kraang’s home base was too! And - and if my oxygen converter broke I would have died!” His tongue automatically felt for the breathing tube. “But I'm there. I'm always there. Especially here -” he gestures all around him, “I'm scared still. Because this is a new dimension. I feel like, like every time I blink I might wake up in that place. Or maybe I’ll stop breathing. ”

Donatello tilted his head. “If you're months older, wouldn't that make you older than all of your brothers?”

Mikey shook his head. “Time is weird there. My body wasn't from that dimension so only my brain aged, or at least thought it aged?” Mikey squinted. “I dunno, Donnie checked me out when we got back. He said my body didn't age a day.” He thought back to that memory, being in Donnie’s lab. “He gave me a hug,” he said. 

“But,” Mikey continued, “I'm okay. I truly am okay. I have to be. If I'm not, then what will my brothers do? If I'm not okay, who will be?” 

“I think they're just worried, Mike. Leon experienced something similar. And I'm so worried about him - more than I could ever show.” 

No one said anything. “Donnie?” 

“Yeah?”

“How do you do it?” 

“Do what?”

“How do you guys still - still love each other through everything that's happened?” 

He looked at Mikey. “We talked. We talked to each other. We still do.”

Mikey laughed. God, it seemed so simple. Talking was never something all four of them did. “I don't think we have ever talked about anything we've been through,” Mikey admitted. 

“Maybe you should. It hurts, to see you fight the way you two did.” He pursed his lips. “I miss my Mikey.”

There was a pang in Michelangelo’s chest. “I miss my Donnie.” 

---

Leonardo was worried. He doesn't know why he just left Mikey alone, but the fighting match he had with his little brother got him flustered. How could Mikey just - say those things about their father? Rules were the only thing that made Leo okay. 

Raphael led the way across the city and Leo followed. And Leo could not stop worrying. Are Raph and Donnie okay at home? Is Mikey okay right now? How are they going to get home? Is Raphael leading him to a trap right now? He stopped thinking because if he didn't then his thoughts would've swirled into a maelstrom of emotions and he couldn't do that right now. 

“Just over here,” Raphael said, breaking the silence. The large turtle jumped down next to a pizza place named Run of the Mill. Leo was careful, confused as Raphael moved towards the alleyway to the side of the restaurant. Fear spiked through his body. This was a trap. He placed a hand on his swords. But then, he did some movements with his hand on a mural, and a portal opened. Leo was stunned and he watched Raphael disappear through it. He hesitated but followed after.

“What -?” There were so many mutants. Everywhere. Sitting and eating and just existing in this restaurant. “Are these all mutants?” 

Raphael shook his head. “Yokai,” He confirmed.

They sat down at a table. And it felt odd, to say the least. “This is odd,” Leo said. 

“What? No yokai restaurants in your dimension?” Raphael asked. Leo shook his head. There wasn't yokai in his universe. At least, he didn't think so. He thought back to when he and his brothers went back in time and pretended to be kappas. And that's what he told Raphael. 

“Really? So you guys are the only mutants?” 

Leo shook his head again. “Not really. We have some mutant friends, like Leatherhead and Slash. Oh, Slash. He's a mutant turtle around your size - that's why I called you that when we first got here.” Raphael nodded his head. 

A skeleton yokai appeared. “Raphael and Leo - wait, Leonardo?” His features were, well, those of a skeleton. There were glowing dots where his eyes would be but he was still very expressive and confused when looking at Leonardo. 

“Long story,” Raphael chuckled, “Leo, this is Señor Hueso.” Leo waved. “Three whole pizzas to go, please! And put everything on them. Except pineapple.” Raphael turned to whisper to Leo. “Donatello hates pineapple on pizza.” 

Señor Hueso just sighed dramatically and went off. This world was just so different. Monsters everywhere? Thankfully, Leo was good at taking in overwhelming situations. He adapted quickly to the environment around him and was able to be calm enough to think clearly. 

Neither of them spoke to each other. 

“Raph!” Called out a voice and two women appeared next to them. “And - Leo?” Raphael waved her away. 

“Long story. This is an alternate version of him.” 

“Oh,” she said, looking Leonardo up and down. “Yeah, no, I don't even wanna ask.” She smiled though, and giggled at the girl next to her.

“This is April! You have an April, right?” 

“You're April?” Leo could not help but blurt. She blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

Leo shook his head. “I think my April is whitewashed,” He said, thinking about the pasty-white April in his own dimension.

Raphael snorted and April’s mouth dropped open. “You're telling me, there’s an April out there who's white ?” 

“I'm so sorry for your loss,” Leo joked. His shoulders relaxed. This April’s personality was more intense than his, yet it was calming and refreshing. It wasn't like he was able to speak to April often anyway. She barely comes around anymore, not after what happened with Donnie. 

“Lame!” She said while crossing her arms. 

The girl next to her smiled. “I'm Sunita!” She said. 

The four spoke briefly, and the two women left, not without saying goodbye of course. Again, the two turtles did not speak to each other. It was funny, it seems in any universe Leonardo could not speak to Raphael. 

“So,” Raphael started, shifting his position in where he sat, “what was up with you and Mikey?” 

Leo looked away. Right into business, wasn't he? “Nothing,” he tried but the larger turtle wouldn't take that. 

“I saw you two. It got kinda nasty, didn't it?” 

Leonardo didn't say anything at first but then he sighed. This Raphael's voice was low and kind, and Leo felt safe opening up. “It's just - Mikey doesn't trust me anymore. Not after our Splinter died.” 

“Why do you think that?”

“Did you even hear our argument?” Leo said exasperated, becoming annoyed. “He doesn't listen to me anymore. None of my brothers do.”

Raphael pursed his lips and shifted again. He wanted to say something but hesitated. 

“What?” Leo asked.

“It's just,” Raphael started slowly, “it seemed like the opposite, from what I heard.” 

“They just - they don't respect our father, or his rules anymore. They don't train, they don't go on patrols, they don't like me anymore.” That last part made Leo take a shuddering breath. They don't like me anymore . “I just - I need to keep them safe. They need to be safe and they just don't understand that!”

Raphael tilted his head. “Is - was your dad always strict?” He asked and Leo nodded. 

“He told me I needed to step up to become their father. So that's all I'm doing!” 

“But you can't - act like their father but expect them to treat you like their brother.” 

Leo said nothing. For once, he thought that Raphael was right. But he couldn't admit that to himself. 

“If - if I'm not their leader, or their father, then I'll have disappointed my leader and father.” He said with his voice straining. 

Raphael didn't say anything for a moment. “You know,” he said, “me and Leon fought a lot. He just didn't understand the struggles I have with being a leader. But then the Kraang - you guys have Kraang in your universe too, right?” Leo nodded. “Well, I got captured because Leo didn't listen. And they -” he stopped and put a hand to the scar on his face, “they turned me into them. I almost - I almost killed Leo. I almost killed them all.” He choked out. 

“God,” Leo murmured. 

“Being a leader is hard,” Raphael concluded, “but you need to just be Leonardo, or you'll turn into some cold and hard figure in your brother's lives. I'm sure your Splinter would understand.”

“I hear him sometimes,” Leo said suddenly, a rush of desperation flew through his body. He had never admitted this to anyone before. “My father. When it's quiet, I feel like I hear his whispers. I think I see him too.” He looked at Raphael expectantly. 

Raphael thought for a moment. “Have you told your brothers about this?” Leo shook his head. “I think… I think you should. That's not good, man.” 

Leo sighed and he put his head in his hands. “I can't do this. Who am I if I'm not their leader? Who will take care of them?” 

Raphael put a hand on his shoulder. “It's not your responsibility to burden yourself with. Talk to your brothers. I can see you do not do much of that.” 

“But it's so hard! Mikey acts like nothing happened! Our father died! And Raph, he doesn't even look at me anymore. I think he wants to leave us. And Donnie? I can't stop fighting with him. We disagree on everything and I can't do anything right!”

Leo felt like crying. For the first time since his father’s death, he wanted to cry. And that made him laugh. 

“I'm a failure.” 

“I feel the same way sometimes,” Raphael said, with gritted teeth. “But, hey,” he smiled, “it's all going to work out in the end, I promise.” 

And just like that, Leo has a vision of when his brother Raph told him the same thing. And just like that, he started to cry. 

“I miss Raph,” he said.

Raphael laughed lightly. “I feel you, bro. You're makin’ me miss my Leo.” 

Chapter Text

Raphael was furious. His brother Donatello had forced him to become a babysitter for Leo and Mikey’s alternate twins. And that was stupid. Why did he have to be dragged into something that wasn't even his fault? 

Raph looks at the living area to Michelangelo and Leonardo fooling around. And it was so annoying. They were just as annoying as his own brothers. But at the same time, they were different. The two were happy in their bantering, and it only made Raph think about when it was like that with his brothers. But it wasn't anymore. 

And he had been planning on leaving. 

How could he stay in a place like this? A miserable home with only hate, brothers who don't even feel like his brothers anymore. And it made him so mad.

And worst of all, he doesn't even miss his father. 

He doesn't miss the rules he set, the training he made them do, the punishments he made. The punishments he made for Raphael especially. 

Raphael shook his head and paid attention to the turtles in the living room. He was standing a little to the side but he ended up resting on the couch with them on the floor.

“Wait, is he like - the leader of the group?” Michelangelo commented on the show he was watching. 

Leonardo shook his head. “No, I think he is the sidekick.”

Raph rolled his eyes. “That is the leader, dipship,” he couldn't help but interrupt. “Don't you guys watch this in your dimension?” 

“Nah, we watch this awesome show called Space Jam! It's so much better than this one, trust.” Michelangelo grinned. 

“Yeah, 'cause anything is going to be better than Space Heroes.” Raph snorted sarcastically. He has to admit, the show did grow on him.

“You have no idea what you're talking about,” Leonardo said, “you haven't ever watched Space Jam. It's the jam!” He smiled smugly and Michelangelo giggled. 

“Nice one, Leon.” 

Raph rolled his eyes again. Even though he was slightly annoyed, he felt a wave of peace wash over his body. The mood inside the lair was soft as opposed to how tense it usually was. Even late at night when Raph would come out alone, it was quiet with the echoes of rage from the day before. 

And Raphael was finally able to relax. Around these imposters, surprisingly enough. 

“You guys are nerds,” he stated flatly. 

The three of them spoke to each other like this for a few episodes of Space Heroes. It made Raphael nostalgic. Flashes of what he and his brothers were like would cross his mind with every word spoken. The three then jumped from an explosion in Donnie's lab. Raphael didn't have a huge reaction to this, as it was something that happened often, but the other two immediately jumped up and rushed to his lab. 

Raphael sat on the couch for a second processing what had happened. Then he rose up and followed them. 

The door to Donatello’s lab opened slightly and a plume of thick black smoke seeped out. And Donnie came out coughing. 

“Holy shell,” Michelangelo said, jumping towards Donnie and grabbing his arm, “are you okay Donnie?” 

“He's fine,” Raph said with his arms crossed, “this happens all the time.” 

Donnie glared in response. “I'm okay,” he said. His voice was incredibly hoarse. Yet Michelangelo and Leonardo acted like he had just taken a bullet to the chest. They were incredibly overbearing and Raphael knew Don was probably immensely uncomfortable. His younger twin shared one trait with Raph, and that was the tendency to dislike help from others. 

But Raph realized he didn't like what he saw. The way the two turtles were concerned, how quick they were to help someone they didn't even know. He took an uneven breath. Some type of jealousy bubbled in his chest.

“Jeez, how many times does something explode?” Leonardo asked, trying to put a hand on the back of Don’s shell only to be swatted away. 

“Once or twice,” Donnie muttered. Michelangelo and Leonardo both tilted their heads to the side. “...a week.” 

“That's such a hazard! Are your lungs okay?” The younger turtle exclaimed. Just as he said that Donnie let out another series of coughs. 

“I'm good,” he wheezed. 

Michelangelo insisted that we all go to the couch to watch Space Heroes because the lab was not safe to work in. “ Our Donnie would have evacuated the whole lair if something like this happened,” he said matter-of-factly. 

So they all went to the living area and settled down. 

“Gosh, when was the last time we watched this?” Donnie asked when Leonardo pressed play on the remote. “No one's touched this show in forever.” 

“Forgot it even existed,” Raph said, “except when Mikey tells us about a dream he had about it.” Donatello laughed slightly and it kind of took Raph by surprise. Raphael couldn't remember an exact moment where anyone had laughed inside the lair. 

“Mikey always has weird dreams,” Raphael decided to continue, “I wish I had dreams. I only get nightmares.” 

“What about?” Michelangelo asked. 

Raph froze. “Uh,” he trailed off. He didn't realize that continuing the conversation like that would result in this. “Stuff,” he said. 

“I didn't know you got nightmares,” Donnie said in a low voice, in an attempt to hide the hurt. Gosh, Donatello was always up in Raphael’s business. 

“You don't need to know everything about me, Don,” Raph snapped. 

“I just want to make sure you're alright,” Donnie replied, straightening his back, “you used to tell me things.” 

“Well not anymore, just get off my shell dude.” 

“Why are you guys so mean to each other?” Leonardo interrupted loudly. 

Silence. 

Raph and Donnie locked eyes but Raphael averted his gaze. “We aren't,” he said. 

Leonardo snorted. “Yeah right,” he said, “we heard you when Donnie went to find you earlier.” 

“Yeah, you guys got super mean to each other,” Michelangelo added. 

“It's actually none of your business,” Raph said, suddenly getting incredibly frustrated. Why did everyone have to get up in his business? “It's just - Yeah, none of your business.”

“God Raph, you say that about everything,” Donnie grumbled, rubbing the back of his head. 

Raph’s face twitched. “Yeah, I know because all you people want to know about everything. ” He growled. 

“It's okay guys,” Michelangelo said with his hands up, “we don't need to get violent!” 

“Just, shut up for a second, Mikey!” Raph shouted and Leonardo immediately stood up. 

“Don't yell at him like that!” He said pointing a finger at Raphael. “Maybe you two should cool down!”

“No,” Donatello said, standing up as well. “No, you two stay out of this,” he was shaking. The other two turtles probably were going to say something but Raphael stood up, staring daggers at his twin brother. 

“Stay out of what ?” Raph asked. 

Donnie threw his arms out, motioning around him. “ This, ” he said, exasperated, “everything! Why we can't even hold a simple conversation without it turning into an argument!” 

“Says fucking you!” Raph said, “You and Leo get angry at each other every other day.”

“But,” Donatello sighed, “that's different. He's barely our brother any more.” 

“So what? So fucking what! You can't expect any of us to just tell you everything when we don't even see you ever! Always in your lab, always busy. At least I commit to the 'don't talk to anyone’ part of being fucking distant.” 

“I know you've been thinking about leaving,” Donnie said suddenly as if the thought had just popped into his head. 

Raphael flinched and stared at his brother bewildered. “What?” 

“I saw all your packed bags in your room. When did you plan on finally leaving us?” 

Raphael couldn't believe this. No one was supposed to know. Especially not Donnie, because he was the only one who could stop him. There was something about his twin that kept him connected to this family. 

“You went through my room?” Raph asked.

“So? When were you planning on leaving?”

And suddenly, Raphael felt very small. He felt small again, being lectured by his father for doing something he thought was best. 

“Fuck you!” Raphael screamed, causing everyone in the room to jump. “Just - fuck you, you never understood me ever !” 

“You know what Raph?” Donnie said, his voice low and dripping with hate, “If you want to leave, go. Just go because why are you here if you just don't care?” 

“What?”

“Just go already!” Donnie said, and it was in between a shout and a sob. “Fucking leave if you hate it here so much! If you hate me so much!” 

God, did those words shoot a lightning strike through Raph's heart. Hearing Donnie say those things made him angry. One: it wasn't true. Two: was that really what Donatello thought? If that's the case, why even try? Why even try to convince Donnie that Raph didn't hate him or Mikey or Leo or the lair or anything that they thought he hated? Why even try?

“Okay,” Raph said simply. 

“Okay,” Donnie echoed. 

And that confirmed it. The string that tethered his buoy to the main ship snapped, and he was done. 

He stomped out of the living area straight to his room. God, he was so angry. He grabbed his bags that he had been packing and a couple more of his things. When he went back to the living room to leave, Donatello was no longer there and Michelangelo and Leonardo were concerned and hesitant to do anything. 

“Wait!” Michelangelo said as Raph aimed for the exit. 

“Fuck off,” he snapped back. 

He made a deadline towards the sewer and out he was. He didn't even look back. Part of him didn't even know what he was doing. Part of him was angry, so angry and this whole thing was justified. But then again, there was a voice in his head that pleaded for him to stay - he couldn't leave, how could he? 

Or maybe that voice was just another turtle, calling out for Raph and his splashing footsteps loudly as they approached. “Raph!” It was Michelangelo. 

“God, go away!” Raph said, huffing from walking fast. He easily made his way around the sewers and went to the manhole. “You're still following me?” He demanded as Michelangelo followed him up.

“You can't leave!” He cried. They both were on the street now. “You just - you can't do that to them!” Raph looked at Michelangelo and was a little shocked at how distraught he was. His eyes were shiny like they were about to cry and his arms were trembling. 

“Jesus,” Raph whispered, “why are you more concerned than my own brother?” 

Raphael shifted his bag that was hanging off his shoulder. 

“Come on, Raph,” Michelangelo pleaded, “You don't know what that's like! To lose a brother, it's devastating!” 

Raph blinked. So that's what this was about? “You lost a brother?” 

Michelangelo looked away. “Almost,” he said. 

Raphael decided that instead of leaving forever, he and his brother's alternate self would go on a walk. Or - a run across the rooftops. 

They climbed up a fire escape and that's when Michelangelo started to talk about the Kraang.

“He sacrificed himself,” he choked out, “for us. For the world, and he was gone.” 

Raph was almost impressed. That little annoying turtle saved the world like that? And he also felt his chest tightening. He remembers when Leonardo did that for them. The big Kraang ship and the explosion. He shivered. 

“I got him back, though,” he continued, looking at his trembling arms. 

“That's impressive,” Raph said. They were both sitting at the edge of the roof now.

Michelangelo took a deep breath. “Yeah, I know. But seeing you willingly go like that made me overreact just a bit,” he laughed. 

“Maybe just a little,” Raph said. 

There was a heartbeat of silence. “So why -”

“Raph!” 

The two turtles flung around to see two humans. “Casey? April?” Raphael asked and he stood up. 

“Woah, what?” Michelangelo spoke, horrified. “Your April is white ?” 

No one spoke. 

“What?” April asked. 

Raphael quickly explained the situation. “And my April is black,” Michelangelo said. “ And my Casey is from the future.”

Casey snickered, looking at Michelangelo. “That's so cool! You're so small - and you're young, too!” Michelangelo laughed a little. 

“You're so,” he said while observing Casey, “different.” He ended that sentence with a tense voice. But Casey didn't seem to notice. 

Raph looked back to April. He had seen Casey a couple of times but he hadn't seen April in a while. She looked tired and so much older for some reason. Her hair was duller but maybe it was because it was dark. It was longer and messy but put into two braids that fell down her chest. 

Casey didn't look that great either. His hair was greasy and unkept, with visible eye bags under his eyes. Yet his smile was still there, still wide and happy. Despite everything, Casey Jones always was a positive light in Raphael's life. 

“Raph,” April said quietly. 

“April,” Raph responded. 

There was undoubtedly an anger within Raph upon seeing her. Just remembering how she ripped Donatello apart with her powers - he clenched his hands into fists. Not now.

“How've you been?” He asked instead. There was a tenderness in his voice even after all that's happened. She was still his friend and he realized he missed her. 

She sighed, possibly relieved that Raph did not act negatively towards her. “I've been better.” 

Immediately after she said that, April’s phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket and squinted at the caller I.D. 

“Give me a second,” she said absentmindedly and she turned away to take the call. 

Raph turned his attention back to Casey and Michelangelo. “So, Leo and Mikey are gone? And their alternate egos are here?” Casey asked. Raphael nodded. “How are they by the way? I've only seen you lately,” he said more seriously. 

“They've been fine,” Raph hurried. 

Casey paused. “How is Donnie?” 

Raph felt his heart twist. “He's okay,” he said. 

“Cool.”

The three of them talked but it was mostly Michelangelo asking questions and Casey answering. April came back looking worse and putting her phone away into her back pocket. “You okay, Red?” Casey asked, rubbing her back. 

“Yeah,” she said. She sounded horrible though. “We should go,” April added, looking at Casey. He nodded his head. 

Raph didn't want them to go yet but he let them. 

“They're different,” Michelangelo said, “is April okay?” 

“She kinda blew up Donnie.”

“What?!” 

“Yeah,” Raph trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, “that was awkward.” 

Michelangelo opened his mouth to say something but shut it. Raph tilted his head. “Just say it.”

“I was gonna ask this before,” he said, “but why do you want to leave?”

Raphael didn't respond. 

“Losing a brother is hard.”

“I know it is,” Raph growled, “I've been in similar situations before. My brother literally exploded and was dead for a few hours.” He sighed loudly. “I just - can't be in the lair anymore. They don't care about me.”

“Are you crazy?” The other turtle asked, “Did you just not hear what Donnie was saying at all?”

“He's just pretending to care! He never talks to anyone. He just asks if people are okay to feel better about himself!” 

“That doesn't make sense. He seems genuine.”

Raphael took a long and harsh breath. “Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about, you wouldn't understand.” 

“I would! Trust me - they call me Doctor Feelings! Just tell me about how you feel!” 

Raph looked at Michelangelo. He stared at him for a few moments and then gave in. 

“I just - I don't want to talk to them anymore. I dunno why, I'm just so angry around them but then they get mad at me and I get mad at them for that, but it's my fault they are mad at me! I'm the reason for my own unhappiness and theirs too. So it's better if I leave.” 

“Have you ever talked to your brothers about this?” 

“Obviously not.” 

Michelangelo nodded and looked off to the sky. “We never spoke about the Kraang at first,” he said, “it was awful. Raph and Leo fought, and Donnie was so distant. Our dad tried everything to make us be a family again. But it wasn't until April and I forced everyone into the living room, and we just talked. We talked about everything and how we felt - and now we are okay.” 

“You make it sound so easy,” Raph muttered. 

Michelangelo shrugged. “It wasn't, but it was a start.” And Raphael turned to look at the other turtle and he was smiling. The gap in his teeth was out for the world to see and Raph cracked a grin too. He rubbed the top of Michelangelo’s head. 

“You dork. You make me miss my own Mikey,” he chuckled. Michelangelo giggled. “I miss Raph.”

---

Donatello was frustrated. He was beyond distraught and he kept hitting himself. He doesn't even know why he said any of those things as he didn't mean them. At least, he didn't mean them too much. After Raphael stormed to his room, Donatello went to his lab. The first thing he saw was the broken machine and the first thing he thought was 'I wish Raph was the one who disappeared.’ He froze and took a deep breath. The smoke was still lingering in the air. 

He couldn't allow himself to start thinking about these things. Donatello had to stay level-headed. “Fuck!” He exclaimed and put his head in his hands. Why did he say those things? “Fuck.”

After some seconds he left the lab and turned to go to his own room. Next door, he heard movement and banging from Raphael packing his stuff. This was really happening. Donatello sat on his bed and covered his ears, trying hard to not hear his brother leave. What felt like forever was just a few minutes but he uncovered his ears and heard nothing. 

And he just sat there. He sat there for who knows how long, just staring at nothing. Then he had a thought. On his bedside table, there was his T-phone. He picked it up. 

Donnie curled up in a ball on his bed. Holding his T-phone in his shaking hand, he scrolled through his contacts to an unmarked number. He looked at it for a few long seconds. Hesitating, he pressed it and it rang. 

Ring!

Ring!

Ring!

Click!

“Donnie?” Someone said from the other end. 

Donatello sighed. “Hi April,” he said with defeat. 

“ Hi? ” She said after a moment. 

Donnie licked his lips. “We haven't,” he said slowly, “we haven't spoken in a while.” 

“I know,” she responded, “ I've been busy. Casey too.”  

“How is he?”

“ Fine.” She rushed. There was silence. 

“ You shouldn't have called me, Don.” There was a pit in his stomach. 

“I - I know, I just,” he didn't know what to say, “I miss you.” Why did he say that? 

She didn't respond. “ Don,” she said after a moment, “ you know we can't do this. Not after what I did to you .” 

Donnie put his hand on his face to try to hide his hard breathing. She was right. He couldn't even look at her. He made it perfectly clear he didn't want to talk to her because being around her puts him in a panic. Yet, all he can do is think about her. He can only remember how in love he was with her and how his body begged him to feel that way again.

“I really miss you,” he said desperately, “and everything is a mess. Could you just come over one more time?” 

Silence.

“It would just be like old times, I promise I won't freak out!”

Silence.

“April?” 

He looked at his phone. She had hung up.

“Fuck,” he muttered, “fuck.”

Maybe she was right to do that. She knew what she caused, and deep down Donnie knew too. He was just too insecure and hopeless that he just wanted to see her one more time, despite the horrible anger he had towards her. 

He laid in bed feeling numb. The whole world felt slow, and he felt incredibly empty. He didn't move. 

But then, his body was instantly filled with anxiety and he shot up from his bed. “Oh my god!” He cried, “Raph!” 

As he realized what happened, he ran out to the living area where he saw Leonardo. The turtle looked up at him, a little surprised, and stood up from where he was sitting on the couch. “Raph!” Donnie could only utter as his breathing became erratic. “He's - do you know - ?” 

“Hey! It's okay!” Leonardo said, approaching Donnie. Donatello almost fell forward and Leonardo firmly grabbed his shoulders. “You're gonna be okay, Donnie!” 

Leonardo brought him to sit on the couch as Donnie regulated his breathing. “I have to go after him,” Donnie said through gritted teeth. 

His attempts to get up from the couch were stopped by Leonardo. “Mikey went after him, he'll make sure Raph comes back,” he assured, “Mikey is very convincing.”

Donatello took a deep breath. 

“Are you okay?” Leonardo asked. 

“No!” Donnie shouted, “I just told my twin brother to leave, what the heck is wrong with me?” 

“It's okay,” Leonardo said, “it happens to the best of us. Ya know, Donnie is actually my twin. Raph is the oldest.” 

Donnie barked out a laugh. “Couldn’t imagine that.”

“I mean, where is your Splinter?” Leonardo asked, looking around, “I haven't seen him.” Donatello stared at the turtle. It didn't cross his mind that in other dimensions their father was alive. At first, he thought it was a really poor joke but then he realized Leonardo was serious. 

“Come on,” Donnie said softly, sitting up from the couch and leading Leonardo to the dojo. He was good at explaining a lot of things, but his father’s death was not one of them. 

“Oh,” Leonardo said, looking at the shrine of their father. He grabbed one of the photos, and Donnie flinched. “Sorry, am I not supposed to touch?” 

Donnie shook his head. “No, you're - you're okay.”

Leonardo looked at the photo. It was the same one Donnie looked at earlier that day. They both stood there, silent. Leonardo staring at the photo, Donatello staring at him. “I'm sorry,” Leonardo finally said, turning his glance to look the other turtle in the eye. “I can only imagine what you guys have been going through.” 

Donatello blinked. That was so genuine and surprising. 

“Are you guys okay?”

“No,” Donnie said, “we aren't. If you couldn't tell, we aren't exactly on the best terms at the moment.” 

“I noticed,” he said as he placed the photo back carefully. “My brothers and I were like you guys after we defeated the Kraang. I mean - me and Raph fought all the time. He's always worried and demanding and stuff.” 

“I fight with Leo all the time,” Donnie said as they both left the dojo towards the living area. “He always needs things to be a certain way even though they don't need to be.” 

“Like what?” Leonardo asked. The two had sat back down on the couch. 

“Just - all of Sensei's rules. He wants us to train every day. I have a lot of work to do, so I can't make it a lot. I think it's stupid to continue to follow rules from someone who isn't even alive anymore.” 

“Huh.” 

“Raph agrees with me, but he just doesn't want to talk to any of us anymore. And Mikey - Mikey just pretends everything is okay. I can't stand it sometimes.”

“Huh.”

“Not to mention, I can't even look at April in the face because she turned me into a quantum smear, and Casey?” Donatello took a breath, “He's too busy being Raph's friend.” 

“Interesting,” Leonardo said. 

“But I guess it doesn't even matter. God, why did I tell Raph to go? That's the last thing I wanted him to do!” Donnie shook his head. 

“I had to fight my Raphael,” Leonardo said, looking at Donnie, “He got infected by the Kraang and he almost killed me.” 

“Holy chapula,” Donnie muttered. 

“And it was because I didn't listen to him. And after everything was okay, I couldn't even talk to him. I couldn't be around him alone, because I was -” he held his breath for a second, “I was afraid of him.”

Leonardo looked to the floor. “I mean, things aren't perfect but after telling Raph how I felt, he understood. And it's better.”

Donatello slumped back onto the couch. He put his hands on his face and groaned. “It's so simple, just to talk about feelings. It's just,” he sighed, “my father was never good at being a father. I don't know how to talk about my feelings.” 

Leonardo put a hang on Donnie’s shoulder. “Just tell them how you feel, and they do the same.” He smiled. “Don't overthink it.”

“You really make me miss Leo,” Donnie mumbled, “before he was all mean and adult-like.”

Leonardo laughed. “All this twin talk makes me think about my own twin.” 

Chapter Text

Leonardo and Raphael took their time going back to the lair. They talked more, laughed more, smiled more. For Leo, this was refreshing. The struggles and anxiety on his shoulders were far lighter than usual and he felt like himself again. For the first time in forever, he felt like himself. And, as a plus, he was able to talk about his favorite show, Space Heroes. 

“Alright, Leon,” Raph said with a smile, “let's go back before the pizza gets cold.” 

“No one calls me Leon by the way,” Leo grinned. Raphael laughed but then his face turned into slight unease. “What?” Leo asked.

“Do you want to meet our Splinter?” 

Leonardo paused and his heart dropped. He forgot that he would ever be in a position to see his father again. At least, an alternate version of it. His mind buzzed with everything he had ever wanted to say to his late father. 

“It would be hard to avoid him in his own home,” Leo said softly.

The two turtles made their way back to the sewers. Leonardo entered their place with caution with the new fear of seeing their splinter. He doesn't know why he's scared. He's a ninja - he has seen all the horror in this world and others - yet he was afraid. 

“I smell pizza!” Mikey screamed from the top of the lair, and Leo chuckled. 

“Come and get some!” He yelled back. Mere minutes went by and everyone was in the kitchen, grabbing slices of pizza and eating. 

“Is it just me, or is the pizza in this dimension really, really good?” Mikey asked. He was barely understood though, he had too much food in his mouth. 

“Mikey, stop talking with your mouth full!” Leo said. He didn't mean for that to sound angry or mean, but he felt Mikey’s mood change and regretted saying that. 

“It's okay, we don't mind very much,” Raphael said. He noticed this and tried to be reassuring. 

“Sorry, who's ‘we’ in this scenario?” Donatello said with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Don't be rude, they're our guests!” Raph said back.

Donatello put his hands up in defense. “I will not pretend I am fine with the loud smacking noise, but do not listen to me, I guess.” 

Raphael rolled his eyes. 

“Sorry,” Mikey said, attempting to smile but realized his mouth was still full.

“I'm going to get a drink,” Donatello said, getting up.

Leonardo shook his head. “No, I'll get it for you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. We are barely your guests, we just appeared out of nowhere. It's the least I can do.” 

Leo got up to the fridge and opened it. “What do you guys want?” He asked, looking at all of the different drinks. There were sodas and some half-drunk juice boxes. There was a carton of milk. It took a second for him to realize no one had answered him. It was quiet. 

He turned around and looked down and oh - it was Splinter. 

His whole body flushed and ran cold. 

It was a small and round rat man - a contrast to what he was used to. But knowing this was his father in another universe was enough to cause tears to build up in his eyes. 

What should he say? I'm sorry? I'm sorry that I couldn't live up to your expectations. I'm sorry that your sons are so divided. I'm sorry that everything is a mess and I can't fix it and -

“Are you alright, fake-blue?” Splinter said, looking intently at Leo. 

“Yeah, I'm good,” he said back. 

Suddenly, he felt fine. He was fine and that was okay. He blinked, confused that he didn't feel sad or jealous or angry or anything other than fine. But he took a deep breath and smiled lightly. 

“I'll take a juice box, Leo,” Mikey said, seemingly forgetting the context of the situation. Or maybe he did it on purpose. Leo looked back to the fridge.

“They are all half-drunk.” Leo said, lifting one up and shaking it. 

“I know, those are all mine.” 

Leo snorted and grabbed one. He walked back to the table. 

After feeling fine, Leonardo felt empty. He felt like he was spending all of his time wishing he could say something to his father, all those attempts to go into the spirit realm, only to say nothing. He looked at Splinter and back at Mikey and he realized how he spent all those months neglecting his brothers. 

Why did his father pass on his own burden to Leonardo?

After they finished their pizza, Donatello went back to his lab to try to finish the machine. Mikey said he was tired and wanted to take a nap, so Raphael gave him a blanket and a spot on their sofa. Leonardo declined his invitation to work on the machine as well, instead watching TV quietly next to Mikey. This was all fine to Donatello who admitted he wanted to work alone.

Leo did not pay attention to the show at all. He was watching it, but not processing it. He couldn't stop thinking about Donnie and Raph and how they were still in their own dimension with their alters. His heart was beating uncomfortably because he wasn't able to contact them at all.

“Leo?” 

Leonardo snapped out of his trance and looked to his side at Mikey. He had woken up, and was looking at him. “Yeah?”

“How long was I asleep for?” Mikey mumbled while rubbing his eyes. 

Leo blinked. “I'm not sure,” he said. He lost track of time. 

“I had the greatest nap ever, though,” Mikey yawned and he stretched his back dramatically, “I dreamt that Ice Cream Kitty was the size of a dragon and I rode her around because she could also fly.” Leo laughed. 

Mikey made a face like he had never heard Leo laugh before but still smiled. “Do you think if I feed her a lot of vegetables, she'll grow that big?” He asked.

“Mmmm,” Leo pretended to think about it, “maybe. Donnie could probably help with that.” 

Mikey giggled and Leo grinned and they both laughed. It was nice. 

Leo then took a breath. He knew that he had to talk about the fight they had, or nothing would change. “Mikey,” he said. 

“Yeah, bro?”

“I'm sorry,” he said with something growing in the back of his throat. “I'm sorry that I've been harsh on you.” 

Mikey shook his head. “No! I should be sorry. I'm the one who never listens to you.” Leo felt a pang of guilt rise in his stomach as he remembered what was said during their argument. 

Leo sighed. “I'm sorry that I basically became your guy's father. But it's just so hard. I feel like,” he stopped and looked down. 

“Yeah?” Mikey asked, tilting his head.

“I feel like you don't care,” he said, “that he's dead.” 

Silence. Leo felt like he messed up by saying that, and prepared for Mikey to get angry. But he didn't.

“I do care,” he said reassuringly. And it did reassure Leo. “I really do miss him, you know that right?” 

Leonardo sighed again and put his head in his hands. Deep down, he did know that. But it was still nice to hear. “I know,” he said softly. 

“Leo,” Mikey grimaced, “it sucks that you acted like I didn't care. I mean - I mean,” he stuttered. “I'm sorry.” 

“No, continue! Please.”

Mikey looked away. His face changed as he decided if he should tell the truth or not. Then he looked back at Leo.

“It sucked when you said that I didn't care. It sucked when you said that I don't listen to you when it's so hard to. It sucks that we don't watch TV with each other anymore! It sucked that you,” Mikey took a breath, “don't even act like our brother anymore.” 

Leonardo felt his heart grow heavy. 

“But I also am sorry because I never cried or felt sad or acted like nothing happened. I just didn't know what to do!” He threw his arms out, “Everyone has been so negative and if I'm not happy then what's the point of anything?” Mikey sobbed and Leo scooted closer to wrap an arm around his shoulder. 

“Hey, I'm sorry Mikey. I'm so sorry.” 

Mikey started to cry and Leo felt tears prickle in his eyes. “I know I've been hard on you guys. And I'm sorry. It hurt when you acted like everything was normal and it just made me think you didn't care.”

“I was just trying to make everyone happy again.”

“I know, I know,” Leo said, his voice low and comforting, “I know that now.” 

“And, and,” Mikey rambled, “I miss Donnie and Raph and how we all would do movie nights or go skateboarding or just doing anything together.”

“Hey,” Leo said sternly and Mikey looked up at him, “when we get back, we will do all of that stuff again. I promise.” 

“You do?”

“Yes, I promise.” 

Leonardo and Michelangelo just sat there in silence. There was a tap tap from Mikey’s tears hitting his leg, and Leo pulled him in tighter. 

“I think,” Leo said softly after a few moments, “we are going to be okay again. We just need to talk about things.” 

Mikey nodded. “I agree.”

“Let's fucking go !” Donatello screeched from the top floor where his lab was located. Leo and Mikey both jumped and looked up, seeing the maniac turtle peer down with an evil smile. “I finished the fucking machine!”

“Woah!” Raphael said, appearing, “Language Donnie!” 

The only response he got was cackling and the three turtles made their way up to see the machine Donatello worked so hard on. It was different from the one their own Donnie made. It looked higher quality and more put-together design, but it was probably because Donnie got his materials from the garbage. 

“Let's get you two back home!” Donatello grinned. He still had his goggles on and he was shifting some wires around inside a little door. He finished with a confident click of his tongue and closed the hatch. 

“Is this going to work?” Leo asked while squinting at the machine. 

Donatello shrugged. “Let's find out!” 

He immediately pressed a big red button. 

“Wait!” Leo said, reaching out, but he suddenly felt like he was floating once again.

---

Raphael and Michelangelo went back to the lair. The latter helped Raph carry his bags, insisting on doing so to be sure he wouldn't run off. Weird, but Raph just rolled his eyes and obliged.

They finally made it back and found Leonardo reading some comic books. 

“Woah, those are my brother's, he wouldn't want you touchin’ those,” Raph warned. 

Leonardo shrugged and just smiled smugly. “They won't even know I touched them,” he said. Michelangelo went to Leonardo and plopped himself next to his brother, practically on top of him because of how little room there was. 

“What is it about?”

Leonardo groaned and shifted his position to get more comfortable. “Something about a guy named ‘Chris Bradford’ and how he fights really good.” 

Raphael rolled his eyes. “Where’s Don?” He asked searching the room. 

“Working on that machine,” Leonardo responded, his eyes fixated on the page he was reading. Raphael went ‘huh’ and paused. “I'm going to put my stuff back in my room.” He said.

He walked to his room slowly with his gaze on the floor. He felt a little embarrassed, almost leaving that easily, and coming back felt like he lost in some way. But those words that Donnie had said to him stung. A lot.

Raph sighed, heaved his duffel bag on his bed, and started unpacking. Organizing his belongings was never something he did, but his dissociative mood caused him to barely realize what he was doing. He snapped out of it quickly when he heard a small knock at the door. He was not going to answer at first because he did not want to talk to Leonardo or Michelangelo, but he heard a small ‘it’s me.’ 

“Come in,” Raph said. Donnie opened the door.

“Hi,” he said. 

“Hi,” Raph responded, standing a little more upright. Donnie looked around and opened the door wider, unsure if he was even allowed to enter. He looked hesitant, as he usually did. 

“Are you,” Donatello asked, trailing off. Raph knew exactly what he was saying.

“No,” he said softly, “I'm staying.” 

Donatello showed visible relief and he stepped in, clearly more confident. Seeing Donnie’s reaction made Raph feel better about his decision to stay.

“Good, because I really, really did not mean anything I said,” Donnie rambled, walking closer to Raph. “I can't believe I told you to go. You can't go, I just - I was mad.” 

Raph frowned. He looked down at an action figure he was holding. He felt anger bubble up in his chest, but he didn't say anything. 

“Raph?” Donnie asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Raph said quickly. 

Donnie narrowed his eyes. “Talk to me,” he said, “just tell me what you're thinking.”

He snapped

“ I’m mad,” Raph shouted. “I am so mad at you, and everyone else.” 

Donnie blinked. “Okay,” he said, “Okay. Is that all?” 

Raph shook his head. “I think it was fucked up that you told me to go,” he said. “It just solidified that you don't care about me.” Raph did not stop looking at the action figure in his shaking hands. He flushed in embarrassment from admitting how it felt when his brother said that. Donnie didn't respond for a moment. 

“I don't mean to,” he finally whispered and Raph looked at him to see he was crying. “I just - it's been so hard. I just got mad at you because I knew you were leaving.”

“I didn't need you to be mad at me, I needed you to tell me to stay!”

“Stay!” Donnie cried and he grabbed Raphael’s shoulders, “Don't go! This is me, telling you that you have to stay! If you leave then there's no way we will ever go back to normal!” 

“Why do you only work? Why are you never there for me anymore?” 

“I can say the same thing to you, Raph! Leo’s given up on you,” Donnie sucked in a breath, “he's going to give up on me too,” he said more quietly.

Raph shook his head. “Like you gave up on Mikey?” He asked.

Donnie froze. “You can't say that,” he muttered, “you're being a hypocrite.” 

Raph shook his head again and pulled from Donnie’s grasp. He always did this. Always argued back. To his brothers, to his father, to himself. “I don't know why I do that,” he gasped, “I don't know why I'm fighting with you. I just - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being distant because it's not fair to you. It's not fair to Mikey or Leo, or myself.” Raph looked Donnie in the eyes. “I'm sorry.” 

Donatello grabbed him again and hugged him. “I'm sorry too,” he sobbed, “I know I'm always in my lab, and I'm always working but I can't help it. If I'm not working, what use am I to you guys?” 

“Don't say that,” Raph said.

Donnie gritted his teeth. “It’s true though. I’m only useful to you guys because I build things!”

Raph pursed his lips and hugged his brother tighter. “Don, listen to me. That is not true.” 

They stood like that for a couple of minutes and Donnie pulled away. “Awkward,” he said. 

Raph rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” 

Neither of them spoke for a moment. “I mean it, though,” Raph said, “You build great things that helped us, but that isn't your only use. We need you for your brain, too.”

Donnie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he said and brushed his thighs with his hands, “Gosh, I need to stop working so much. Do you think we should tell Mikey to cook and have family dinners again?” 

“Let's just have a pizza night,” Raph said. “I think asking him to cook would be too much.”

Donnie went back to his lab to finalize the machine. Raphael walked back to the living area to find it empty. He frowned and thought about where they could be. Maybe they went up to the surface and got lost, so they didn't have to worry about bringing them home. But then again, his Leo and Mikey were in another dimension so maybe these imposters were needed. 

Raph wandered around the lair for a bit but froze when he heard talking coming from the dojo. He opened the sliding door and found them sitting criss-crossed on the floor, right in front of the shrine. Leonardo was holding a photo frame, showing Michelangelo.

“Their Splinter was so tall and serious looking,” Michelangelo said, examining the photograph. Raphael remembers when that photo was taken. It was Mikey’s idea, and Splinter agreed that it would be nice. Mikey cracked a joke right before the camera went off, and it made everyone laugh. Even Master Splinter. 

Raphael walked in and the two noticed. “Hey,” Michelangelo said and Raph sat down next to them. 

Raph grabbed the photo from his hand. “He was serious all the time,” he said. “Sometimes he wasn't. But mostly he was.” He hadn't reminisced about Splinter in a long time. He isn't even sure he's ever done it - but Raph doesn't quite know how he should be feeling. Fine? Is he supposed to be feeling fine while speaking of his dead father?

“I'm sorry about him, by the way,” Michelangelo said. “Losing a brother is something I get, but a father?” 

“Don't mention it, it's okay,” Raph murmured. When he thought about his father, he didn't feel sad about his death. He felt sad about everything that came with it, but he didn't think that made any sense. He was sad because now there was no chance to salvage their relationship. 

“I'm taking his death better than my brothers,” he said. “But it's making me distant myself. But I can’t do that anymore.” With the conversation he just had with Donnie still in his mind, he stared blankly at the photo frame. Then he looked up at the shrine, where there were more photos and decor, and he realized the candles were not lit. “Aw, shit.” Raphael stood up.

“Huh?” Leonardo asked and he got up as well. 

“The candles went out. Leo would kill me if he found out me or Don didn’t keep it lit.” Raphael then searched the room, looking inside some drawers trying to find a lighter. In one drawer, he opened it to reveal a lighter but also a little note card. Raph picked up the paper and read it. It was a prayer that Sprinter used to say everyday. Did Leo say this prayer every time he lit the candles? An image of his brother murmuring something alone while maintaining their father's shrine made him feel a rush of guilt.

Raoh grabbed the lighter and walked to the shrine. He felt a little off like someone was walking next to him. His movements were slow as he lit the three candles and suddenly he felt alone again. Well, almost.

“I just got a chill,” Michelangelo chucked. The three decided to leave the dojo and go find Donnie and see how he was doing with the machine. Finding their way to the lab door, they knocked. Donnie opened it moments later. 

“Hey,” he said, “you're just in time, I finished the machine.”

Moving towards the center of the lab, the turtles circled around the machine. It looked a little better, Raph decided, as the exterior was not broken anymore. 

“Is this safe?” Michelangelo asked, eyeing it up and down with his eyes narrowed. Leonardo tapped it with his finger. “This looks like it would kill us,” he said. 

“Thank you, guys,” Donnie said suddenly, turning to face the two alternate turtles. Leonardo and Michelangelo looked at each other. 

“What for?” 

“Talking to us.” 

Donatello went to the machine and fiddled with some switches. “Ready?” 

Michelangelo looked at Raph. “Good luck bro,” he said. Raph rolled his eyes. 

Leonardo gave a thumbs up. “Miss you guys! Now let's go!” 

Donnie pressed a big red button, and the room was filled with white.

Chapter Text

There was only white. Donatello's lab was completely white with a ringing sound shattering all four of the turtle's eardrums. Then it was dark. 

“Leo! Mikey!” Donnie said, turning on the emergency lights yet again. The light was blinding, and everyone blinked rapidly as an attempt to see their surroundings. 

“Donnie!” Mikey screamed and jumped up to hug his brother. “Raph!” 

Their youngest brother grabbed both of the twins with his arms and squeezed them hard. “Oh my gosh, I'm so glad we're back!” 

Leonardo looked at the three and frowned. He felt so out of place for some reason, like he wasn't their brother - just a stranger. His shoulders dropped and he looked down. Raphael noticed his older brother not joining. 

“Leo, just come here,” Raph grumbled, “don't even say anything.” 

Leo stood there for a second and walked up, wrapping his arms around them. Just for a few seconds, all four of them felt safe. They felt safe and relieved and happy and all of their issues and all of their problems disappeared but only for a few moments. Then they all went to bed. 

Raphael and Michelangelo were the first to argue and make up. Raphael had been trying his best to talk to his brothers more after the Switch Incident - that's what Mikey decided to call it - but he wasn't doing a good job. He was still angry. 

Raphael hadn't spoken to anyone all morning and decided to bother his youngest brother. You know, to try to mend the distance he has created with everyone.

Bringing himself to Mikey’s door, Raph sighed and knocked softly. “Yeah?” Mikey called.

“It's me,” Raph said, “can I come in?” 

Mikey didn't say anything but there was shuffling coming from inside and the door creaked open. “Raph? What do you want?” Mikey probably didn't mean to say that with an accusing tone but that's how Raph took it. And he immediately became irritated. 

“Just saying hi to my little brother, is that so horrible?” Raph snapped. The energy around them spiked and Mikey glared right into Raphael’s eyes. The older turtle immediately realized his mistake in snapping.

“Just go away,” Mikey said while trying to shut the door, “it's not like you want to talk to me anyways.” Raph was stunned to hear that and allowed the door to slip from his fingers causing it to slam shut. He didn't move for a few moments. He felt angry and was going to leave, but he heard a faint sniff. Was Mikey crying?

Raphael leaned against the door to listen closely. He heard Mikey’s soft sniffles and gasping like he was trying to cry quietly. Raph immediately opened the door - it was locked so he kicked it down - and revealed Mikey sitting on his bed with tears rolling down his face. “Raph!” He said, wiping his eyes, “Go away!” 

Raph was frozen. In all honesty, he didn't realize that crying was something Mikey did these days. Paired with the fact Mikey was usually overt with his emotions, typically seeking help from his brothers. To Raph, it didn't cross his mind that Mikey was ever crying alone.

“Mikey,” Raph whispered. Suddenly all his anger disappeared. “Mikey,” he said again, “I'm sorry.” 

Mikey shook his head but Raph continued. “I'm sorry, I don't mean to be angry.” 

Michelangelo let out a sob and Raph sat on his bed next to him and hugged him. Mikey didn't reciprocate the hug but that didn't mean he disliked it. 

“I feel like I can't talk to you anymore,” Mikey said, and Raph understood that he didn't mean just normal conversation but asking for help as well. 

“I'm sorry Mikey,” Raph said yet again, “it just felt like you didn't care.”

“Everyone seems to think that,” Mikey muttered. 

Raph snorted. “Because it's true!” 

Mikey didn't respond.

“Sorry,” Raph said. 

“No, you're right. I thought that you guys needed me to be happy because no one was. But maybe it was seen as ungenuine.” 

Raph rubbed Mikey's shoulder. “I don't think that's a word,” he said. 

“Shut up!” 

They both laughed. 

“I'm sorry that I wasn't here for you,” Raph said, feeling tears well up in his eyes. “I promise I'm here now, okay?” 

Mikey finally hugged Raph back. “Okay,” he said, his voice barely coherent from being pressed up against Raph. 

Some days later, Leonardo couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. He had been feeling this for months, but he kept it at bay by doing what he thought was right. Keeping his brothers in line, training them, protecting them. But after he promised he would act more like himself, he heard voices more. He saw shadows move. He saw his father. 

He knocked on the door to Donatello’s lab and went in. His brother was sitting down in a chair, working on something on his desk. When Donnie looked up and saw Leo, he immediately looked to the clock on his wall.

“Sorry, I didn't realize how long I've been in here.” He said, “I'll help Mikey cook dinner in a few minutes.” 

“No, it's okay,” Leo responded and pointed his thumb behind him, “Mikey and Raph went out for pizza.” 

“Oh, okay.” Donnie looked around uncomfortably. Leo understood him completely, as they haven't really talked in a while. Other than fighting.

Leo didn't say anything at first.

“Did you need something?” Donatello asked slowly. 

Leonardo nodded. “I think I need to tell you something,” he confessed. “Can I sit down?”

Donnie blinked and nodded, surprised by his demeanor. Leo seemed nervous and unsure, a contrast to his usual self.

Leonardo sat on a bar stool. And Donatello has never seen his brother like this. Leo looked so destroyed and tired, so weak and pathetic. 

“Are you okay?” Donnie asked. 

“I think I'm having hallucinations,” Leo blurted. Then he paused. “No, I know I am. Of Splinter.” Leo looked down. 

Donnie apparently was not expecting that because he jerked his head back slightly. Then he thought about it for a second and scooted his chair forward towards Leo.

“I think I've known,” he said. 

“What? How?” 

“It always seemed like you would respond to a third party whenever we argued,” Donnie explained, “you would make a face like I said something when I didn't, and you would always jerk your head to the side like someone was present.”

Leo stared. “Was it that obvious?” 

“No,” Donnie shook his head, “it wasn't. I'm just very observant.” 

Leo slumped his shoulders. “I feel bad. Even though we were always angry at each other, you still paid attention.” 

“Never mind that,” Donnie said, waving his hand, a way to say 'let's have this conversation another day,’ which Leo was thankful for. “Let's talk about these hallucinations. How often do you have them?” 

In the end, Donatello felt happy that his brother could confide in him like that. And Leonardo felt relieved that he wasn't alone in this anymore. 

The moment that Mikey and Leo had come back, Mikey had already cried and told Donnie everything that happened and how he was sorry. 

“No, don't be sorry Mikey, I'm sorry,” Donnie had said. Mikey insisted that he should be sorry and his older brother had given in and said how it did indeed hurt. Then Mikey forgave Donnie for being so cold and mean to him most of the time. 

Leo and Raph were tough to reconnect. After Leo stopped lecturing him because Raph shut him out, they never talked for the entirety of the time after their dad died. They kept attempting to speak and laugh, but they didn’t know how to. It’s like they forgot how to be each other's brother again. And it was very obvious to Donnie and Mikey.

“Low key,” Mikey said to Don, “they need to fight it out.” 

Donnie wrinkled his nose. “First of all, ‘low key?’ What does that even mean?” 

Mikey smiled and stuck his tongue out. 

“But yes, I agree. They should fight it out.” 

The two ended up agreeing with each other that they should have a training night. After The Switch Incident, they halted the sessions because of the unnecessary tension it would create but Donatello thought most of it was alleviated. Leo and Raph liked the idea.

Donatello paired up with Mikey immediately because he knew Raph or Leo would want to pair up with either of them. The look on the two eldest brothers' faces was discomfort. They did not want to fight each other yet neither of them would say anything. 

Donatello and Michelangelo weren’t taking the fight seriously. They were mostly fooling around while the other two turtles were more tense. 

The two circled each other. Then, Raph attacked. He tried a more direct approach but Leo shut him down real quick. And Leo let out a surprised laugh. 

“You didn’t even try!” He said with a barked laugh. Raph froze for a second and smirked. “I haven’t done this in forever, give me a break!”

And they trained together. And it was so easy for them to joke and laugh again.

And you know what, things weren’t the best with the four turtles but they were better and that’s a start.