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Inside the tent, it was hard for Liu Sang to sleep. First, Pangzi was snoring, but at this point, this was more of a way to focus on one familiar sound and sleep than an annoyance. But. Xiao Hua had lost sleep and was playing something on his phone. He turned off all the sounds, but Liu Sang would still get distracted by how he pressed the phone in his hands and the changes in his breath during the game. That was also not the point, Liu Sang was getting used to camping with Xiao Hua by now and found him quite easy to live with - not an opinion many would share.
He was also not bothered by the distant sounds of Xiaoge and Xiazi around the camp, watching over their safety.
"What's happening outside?" Xiao Hua asked suddenly, without taking his eyes off his phone.
"You won't believe me…"
"It's Wu Xie. I'll believe anything you say."
"That's true," Liu Sang sighed, "Did you ever make out with a guy you just met in an ancient tomb?" This was supposed to be the answer, but ended up taking a different direction.
"Yeah, that was how things went with Xiazi. And here we are, over a decade later…" In the past, the relationships between them all were a little cloudy, a little uncertain, and often nothing more than implied. Currently, it was exactly the opposite.
"I asked the wrong question to the wrong person." Liu Sang tried to ignore the sounds coming from outside, snuggling his head on the soft surface it rested on.
"You did the same, didn't you?"
"To kiss the ancient immortal guy I met in a tomb, in the first chance I had? Guess I can't judge Wu Xie…"
That was when Xiao Hua looked up from the game and almost dropped his phone. "Wait, what?"
"It's what I'm trying to say. I can't sleep because Wu Xie and that ancient entity we just found, are making out." If Liu Sang didn't fear for his life, he would certainly go to the entrance of the tent and ask the newly reunited and rather shameless couple to go moan at least a few hundred meters away, so he could sleep.
"In a minute, I think Wu Xie can't surprise me anymore after all these years… the next minute he's doing something so unhinged even for 'Wu Xie's standards'..." Xiao Hua didn't know whether to be sad or grateful for not having Liu Sang's hearing at that moment.
"Wu Xie's goal in this lifetime is to be as unhinged as possible."
"This lifetime…” Xiao Hua went reflexive for a moment. “It seems he's been around for quite a while. I know what I saw in the temple, but when you live with Xiazi, you learn not to trust in everything laid in front of your eyes."
"I know what I heard there. What I heard here earlier. What I heard just a moment before they started making out. This entity is not trying to deceive us all, then… how the fuck Wu Xie happens to be a damn primordial god?!" Just half a day ago, Liu Sang was sure he was prepared for the surprises that came with being friends with Wu Xie. He definitely wasn't.
"If it was about any other god from Huangdi's* time and on, I would disbelieve less. But it's Zhurong. The process of separating skies from earth simply killed Pangu, the creator of it all. But Zhurong survived. No myths or legends tell us how . Myths say he sacrificed himself to stop the Great Flood, to win the fight against Gonggong. But this doesn't make sense given all the myths saying that, in a matter of strength, of physical and destructive power, no other being could match Zhurong in those days." Xiao Hua turned around to better accommodate his head on the same soft surface where Liu Sang had been sleeping. Only the dim colored lights of the game on hold on the cell phone illuminated some of their faces as they talked.
"Myths also say Kunlun is dead,” Liu Sang started turning down more of the legends he knew. “But it seems that he's not and now he rules a Department of supernatural investigations. Myths are myths for this reason: you can believe they are real, but it's stupid to believe they happened exactly as they were written or told."
"That's right. Biased spectator. The stories are told from many points of view, and all of them are biased. If each one of us all here today told the story of what happened here, we wouldn't have one story told by six different people. We'd have six different stories with main points in common. There's a thin line between history and myth."
Liu Sang sighed, and feared that his teammates' story about that day would be an adventure and perhaps a drama, while his would be an erotic tale that he wished he could have avoided.
...
In the middle of the night, Shen Wei managed to convince Wu Xie that he was fine to sleep in the tent - he needed to remain aware that his beloved was now human and had a fragile body like every human being. Although he had been a bit merciless towards Wu Xie's neck and shoulders - and Liu Sang was the only witness that it had been Wu Xie who had encouraged this again and again, but Shen Wei was still not aware of the young man's abilities, otherwise he would have been absolutely silent and well-behaved all night.
Shen Wei didn't expect that he would get any sleep. But once snuggled into Wu Xie's embrace inside the tent, he quickly fell asleep. Nightmares did not follow him.
...
In the morning, Shen Wei began to get the true extent of the sense of 'my family' that Wu Xie had spoken of. It was like a flock of kittens or another litter of puppies, huddled together.
Except they were tomb raiders, but the concept was still applicable.
Liu Sang and Xiao Hua had slept using Pangzi's back as a pillow. Hei Xiazi (when had he come to the tent?) had slept on their legs, while one of his legs was over Wu Xie and his boot-clad foot was on Shen Wei - not even he had somehow escaped the huddle.
The only person who still had some dignity preserved was Xiaoge, who had slept sitting at the entrance of the tent.
...
While the team dismantled the tent and put away their equipment, Shen Wei sat quietly near where Pangzi was cooking breakfast.
As soon as he woke up, Pangzi had already suspected that he was the only single person left on the team. He had already gotten a good look at Wu Xie when they had walked out of the tent into the early morning sunlight. Pangzi was sure that Wu Xie had not been injured inside the temple. But he still had tiny, almost insignificant cuts in his mouth. And his neck was… That was something worth beholding.
Pangzi turned to the entity sitting on the log near the fire. "Professor Shen, did Tianzhen get into trouble while I was sleeping?"
"Trouble?" Shen Wei fell into the trap. “No, he was with me the whole time around the campfire. Why?”
“His neck is fucked up as I’ve never seen…”
Shen Wei's entire face flushed immediately. “Huh-”
“I see. You have sharp fangs.” With Shen Wei blushing even more, Pangzi only giggled while going on preparing coffee.
Shen Wei didn't know how to explain it. And the only witness that Wu Xie himself was to blame was Liu Sang, but Shen Wei didn't know that at the time. He would die of shame when he discovered the real abilities of the youngest member of the team and remembered that night.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Shen Wei blurted out. “I just… I have to keep in mind that his body is fragile now… and don’t forget it again…”
Pangzi took pity on the poor professor. That whole story still needed a lot of explanation, but Pangzi could clearly see that that person – regardless of what that person was – had a kind heart. And that he was obviously in love with Wu Xie, but that Pangzi was sure anyone could see.
"Ayo, Professor Shen, I know that! And he doesn't seem the least bit upset about what he got on his neck… I just wish you hadn't forgotten that you were wearing my sweatshirt before rolling around in the grass with Tianzhen..."
Shen Wei wanted to be able to use his abilities, so he could disappear until the embarrassment passed. Looking at himself, he faced the guilt of still wearing Pangzi's sweatshirt - and he hoped that only he and Wu Xie knew that that sweatshirt was in no condition to be returned. Maybe not even if they washed it several times.
...
On the way back to the village, the group circled the mountain on foot, flanking the pine forest, on a narrow and clean road, where the shadows of the trees made the path cool and pleasant. An unusually calm time, as if nature was mild and appeased to welcome Shen Wei back.
Behind the group, some distance away, Xiaoge and Hei Xiazi watched the others talking to Shen Wei - they all had a lot of questions, but they had reserved themselves for updating the professor on what had happened in the world in the last four years, from big things to useless information.
Wu Xie didn't look like he would let go of the professor's hand for anything in the world.
"Yaba Zhang," Xiazi sought his friend's attention, "you saw the same as me, heard the same as me, I think we didn't hallucinate anything this time... I couldn't be less surprised that Wu Xie found a boyfriend for him inside a tomb instead of any normal place where people find someone to date..."
Xiaoge would ignore that. Pretend he didn't hear. Continue his path forward. How long had he been used to that?
He should ignore it.
"It wasn't much different with me... or you."
"Liu Sang and Xiao Hua are our co-workers. We didn't find them inside some tomb somewhere, like an artifact. Oh, wait. Now that makes sense."
"We saw what we saw," Xiaoge's voice was less monotone than usual, "I'm inclined to believe that. And both Kunlun and that entity are important to Wu Xie... even if he didn't remember them before."
"To remember... he even knew how to open a door built after he-"
"If he really died." Xiaoge observed a little more, he thought more than he said. About memory, about being there. Or not being there. "But he knows. And even though he's not who he once was, what he loved back then was so important to him... that he still knows it."
“Did we really find this Shen Wei by accident?” Xiazi finally asked the question he wanted from the beginning.
Xiaoge shook his head, the subtle curve of a smile appearing on his lips.
It's Wu Xie. He would go to the ends of the world for any of the people he loves. Even without remembering.
When one was like Xiazi or Xiaoge, some things were simpler to understand or accept. And in every way, that entity - or Professor Shen - looked at Wu Xie with unparalleled affection.
…
When the inn room door closed behind them, the first thing Shen Wei did was to quietly seek a hug.
"Is everything okay?" Wu Xie stroked Shen Wei's back under the braid, in repetitive movements, soothing and reassuring.
“I don’t like this appearance. I apologize for being temporarily unable to change to a more acceptable one,” Shen Wei muttered into Wu Xie's shoulder.
"What are you saying? There's nothing unacceptable about your appearance. There never was. You've always been gorgeous.” He kissed Shen Wei’s temple and hair, trying to appease his insecurities,
"I have fangs and claws..."
"I used to have it too. Or have you forgotten that we used to hunt together?" It had taken a while for Shen Wei to get used to that back then, and later he could never get used to hunting alone again. He could never forget.
"The other gods didn't have this kind of trait..."
"Nuwa had a serpent's tail, my love. We were all just the way we were. Unacceptable was Gonggong's ugly face..."
The last statement made Shen Wei laugh, moving his face away to look at Wu Xie's face once again. It would take him a while to get used to the fact that he could actually see that person there, right in front of him, alive and well.
"You don't have the traits you had before, but you're used to it. Your friends, however, are human... And in view of the things you've seen all your lives on your adventures, things with fangs and claws... They were always… monsters.” He lowered his gaze, ashamed of what Wu Xie's friends might supposedly think about him getting involved with a creature like Shen Wei.
"First of all, I wouldn't call them all human, necessarily. It's a thin line for some of them. Furthermore, of all the people in the world, the guys out there are exactly the ones to whom the fact that you have little traits different from an ordinary human means nothing more than 'your stuff'.” Wu Xie knew his friends very well. And now he also remembered very well how Shen Wei saw himself - it hadn't been easy to appease some of that before, but certainly millennia of loneliness had caused immense damage that would take a lot of patience and care to try to repair.
“I understand what you’re saying, but… is that my appearance doesn’t mean ‘how I look like on the outside’... It points to what I am. A soulless demon. And I can’t ignore that about myself.” Not all the time of his existence had Shen Wei thought so low about himself. Most of the time, indeed. But there was a moment when he thought that, maybe, he had some worth.
“I do agree that you were born a demon. And I don’t see any problem with that. I don’t agree with the ‘soulless’ part, though.”
"It's not metaphorical and you know this," Shen Wei whispered, feeling the man’s hand patting his head, still trying to soothe him.
“That’s the problem. I don’t agree with the concept of ‘soul’ the others had back then. I never did. I just don’t have enough of my memory to provide an actual explanation to that…”
“But the Ghost Tribe-”
“Yeah, the Ghost Tribe, yes,” Wu Xie interrupted, “They do not have souls. But this is just about them , not about you . You’re not like them.”
“I’m a ghost…”
“You were just born in the same place.” And for a moment, Wu Xie forgot he was supposed to remain calm, “You’re not like them! You know who you are most alike to!” he ended up raising his voice, but it wasn't about what Shen Wei was saying, it was much more about what he had never been able to explain properly before - and couldn't now either.
“You’ve said that so many times, but… You don’t even know what you are.” Shen Wei immediately regretted it. He knew the difficulties that the other had with his own mind, he had known this deeply, after all it hadn't been three years, or even three hundred. He had lived with that reality for three thousand years. “No, I- I’m sorry, Zhurong-jun… I know you’ve always struggled with your memory and… I’m truly sorry for pushing you like this…”
“It’s okay…” Wu Xie brought him back to his embrace, calming down, not wanting to scare Shen Wei as he had done once. Just once had been more than enough for him to never want to make his precious Xiao Wei feel like that ever again. “It’s okay, Xiao Wei. I’m aware of what many things in me implied about what I could be. I just don’t believe that. And it’s unlikely for us to find out the truth, because I’m the only one left from those times. We didn’t find out when we were surrounded by gods and ancient entities that could know something about that, when I had my original body and my powers that could help somehow…”
Shen Wei raised his hands, gently cupping Wu Xie's face. “This is real, isn’t it? I really have you back.” It’s useless to try to find out. And without knowing what you once were, I don’t believe that will ever be a way of understanding what you try to say about me… But that’s fine. As long as you are with me. I know that your blood and Kunlun’s soulfire made me exist and so, I have you both as part of me somehow. This will never change. “Whatever you are, it’s inherently part of me. And just knowing that it’s more than enough for me.” He sealed his words with a tender kiss, allowing himself to start accepting that things weren’t the terrible way he thought they were since he had lost both of his beloved ones.
He and Kunlun always had their feelings about what Zhurong could be - and that was as amazing as it was terrifying. But no certainty about him was ever needed for them to want him - safe and loved with them.
…