Chapter Text
A woman screams.
Blood is everywhere. In your mouth. On your hands. It’s staining your skin. Pale, pale, pale, skin. It seeps into your clothes. You can’t escape it. No matter how hard you try.
Dead, empty brown eyes that were once so full of life stare up at you. You did this. It’s your fault. You’ve caused this. You’re a–
“Monster.”
Your head snaps up. He stands in front of you. Grian. His eyes match her’s. “You’re a monster.”
The words hurt, spilling from his lips. His face is blank, empty like her eyes. He stands a few feet away from you, covered in shadows. He is just out of your reach. Even if you were to lift your hand and outstretch it toward him, it would not reach. There is distance between the two of you, and you cannot bridge it.
“W-W-Wait, Grian!” you cry.
He doesn’t listen. He doesn’t give you a chance to explain. “I thought you were better. That you were human. But you killed her. You're responsible for their deaths.” His face twists in a cold snarl. “How could you keep this from me? How could you lie to me?” Grian looks hurt, pain and anger swirling into a mix of emotions in his eyes. “How could you make me believe you were good?”
Your chest hurts, it’s like there’s knives being jabbed into it. The knives are twisting, and blood is leaking onto the front of your clothes. Grian stands there all the while, watching you bleed out with a distant, cruel gaze.
“Grian please, if you just let me—” You’re desperate as you beg him, you don’t want to lose him. You’ve been terrified of this. Of him discovering just how much of a monster you truly are. But now he knows. He knows and it wasn’t even under your own terms. The choice was ripped away from you in that cave.
“I don’t want to hear it, monster.” Torches are being thrust into your face. “I want nothing to do with you, stay away from me!” You flinch back in fear.
The human stares at you, the blood covering your skin, the corpse laying at your feet. Worlds are colliding. Multiple voices are speaking. The blood is warm. Warm, warm, warm. You feel cold.
“You should just die.”
It hurts.
There’s a loud, terrified gasp ripping out of Mumbo’s chest as he jolts awake. He sits up in bed, sweat dripping down the front of his face. His hair is loose, spilling around his shoulders as he pants and gasps for air. He stares down at his lap, where his blanket sits over him. It’s warm, too warm, and Mumbo feels like he’s being suffocated. The air is being squeezed out of his chest because of the blankets on him.
He scrambles to pull the blanket off of himself, escaping the warmth. He practically rips them off, and it’s probably by pure luck that Mumbo doesn’t tear the fabric in his haste. The blanket is rolled back, and Mumbo sits to let himself breathe.
The vampire takes in a few deep breaths and lets them spill out, forcing the previous panic to calm down. The images of his nightmare flash in his mind, and Mumbo takes a shaky inhale. It leaves a heavy feeling sitting on his chest, uncomfortable under his skin. He tries to shake it off with each breath he takes, brushing his bangs out of his face. The strands fall back in place.
From the corner of his eye, Mumbo sees something begin to glow. He uses his arm to wipe at his eyes, clearing away any remaining tears that might have escaped him. He turns his head toward the source of the faint glow sitting on his nightstand. The glow is soft and red, not giving much light to the room. It’s his earring; his communication glyph he shares with Grian.
Mumbo swallows thickly as he watches it glow and fade out. It does this quite a few times, leaving Mumbo staring at it. His hand twitches to reach out and answer, Grian is obviously trying to get in contact with him. It could be something urgent.
And yet.
He lifts his hand up, the shadow of his fingers hovering over the earring. He wants to answer, wants to hear Grian’s voice. It’s the middle of the night, shouldn’t Grian be sleeping? If he were to answer, would he hear Grian’s groggy and sleepy voice? Would they sit and chat about nothing because Grian can’t fall asleep again? Or has something else happened, something that’s made Grian reach out to Mumbo because Mumbo is all he can turn to (he isn’t. Grian can turn to Scar now as well). Would Grian sound panicked and afraid, vulnerable with Mumbo in his time of need?
He wants to answer.
And yet Mumbo can’t bring himself to grab the earring. He can’t bring himself to even speak to Grian. He’s too… afraid.
Things haven’t felt right since that cave. Mumbo hasn’t felt right since that cave. He’s been walking on eggshells around Grian, too afraid to really talk to him. He’s terrified to know what Grian thinks of him after hearing about the arachne. How drastically has Grian’s opinion of him changed? Does he still think that Mumbo isn’t a monster when he so clearly is?
Mumbo knows he hasn’t exactly shied away from the fact that he’s worked with the Council. He’s blatantly told Grian this before. But there was a reason, a warning for telling him. Mumbo has done things he isn’t proud of, and his past with the Council is one of them (even if he didn’t know what he was doing). He never wanted Grian to find out anything about his past like that, he never wanted Grian to know, and Mumbo didn’t even have a choice in it.
His past sins were just hung out for all to see. For Grian to see.
He had no choice in telling Grian that he’s killed his own kind under the Council’s jurisdiction (and goodness how could he have forgotten the arachne? He hardly knew a thing about them and yet). But Grian knows. Grian knows and there is nothing Mumbo can do about it except avoid the unavoidable for as long as he can.
Because he is afraid. He’s afraid that Grian will see him for the monster he truly is. That Grian will want nothing to do with him now. He’s afraid that Grian will hate him, and therefore he has put distance between them. He’s scared, too scared to lose Grian. It’s easier to walk around the topic, to avoid it. Grian doesn’t seem to want to bring it up, so neither will Mumbo. Because maybe pretending it never happened will preserve whatever friendship they have left. Maybe pretending it never happened will keep Grian from calling him a monster.
If Grian doesn’t hate him now, that is. If he isn’t waiting for the right moment to speak.
The glyph continues to glow with a brilliant shine. Mumbo feels something strong pull on his chest, a deep ache. His hand drops into his lap, and he exhales silently. He has to forcefully tear his eyes away from the earring, as he whispers a quiet apology, “I’m sorry, Grian.”
Ignoring the way his body feels heavier with the ache, he lays back down, rolling over onto his opposite side. Grian’s call goes unanswered, and Mumbo attempts to return to sleep.
Holding the glowing crystal between his palms, Grian’s brows furrow. He watches as the red shimmer begins to dim before extinguishing completely, leaving him darkness. A quiet sigh leaves him, and he stares at the crystal, trying not to feel rejected.
Mumbo didn’t answer.
A deep frown mars his face as he squeezes the crystal in his hands, feeling warmth from it. It glows one last time, and Grian sighs. Mumbo surely isn’t going to answer. He would’ve already if that were the case. Maybe he’s asleep.
Or maybe he’s ignoring Grian entirely. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk.
Shaking his head, Grian rolls over to his side. He knows that the vampire isn’t legally required to answer Grian when he calls. He isn’t always available, either doing some random thing or knee deep in a redstone project. He isn’t always at Grian’s beck and call. And it’s not like there’s an emergency or anything either. Grian just… can’t sleep. He likes to call Mumbo when he’s unable to slip into slumber, the vampire’s voice echoing soothingly in his mind.
But not tonight. Tonight Grian is alone with his thoughts, and there’s a storm going inside his head.
Reaching toward his nightstand, he sets the crystal necklace down on the wood. Right where the letter from Scott sits. He stares at it with a thoughtful expression, lips still low in a frown. He doesn’t know what to do with it. An invitation from Scott? To meet with him? Alone?
Grian’s made stupid decisions before, but he thinks this is one he probably shouldn’t make. Mumbo has warned him about Scott, and Grian has gotten the clear message of ‘stay away.’ It’d be smarter for him to, maybe even ignore the invitation entirely and pretend like he never got it. But there’s a little voice in the back of his mind, telling him the exact opposite.
Scott is a part of Mumbo’s past. A past the vampire is particularly cagey about. It’s a perfect opportunity to get some information, to maybe figure out why Mumbo is so scared of him. He could take this invitation as a chance to learn more and get some answers. Mumbo has mentioned working for the Council after all, Scott would know about that.
It isn’t a good idea, Grian knows. It’s stupid and reckless, and honestly Grian can just ask Mumbo, he knows. But Mumbo has already been cagey enough with him, and Grian is terrified to bridge any sort of distance between them. He’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t curious about what Lady Meritre was talking about. He knows there’s more to the story, of course there is, yet Mumbo clearly isn’t willing to tell him that story. It’s been a few weeks now, days of awkward tension that they’ve tried to smooth out but to no avail.
Grian doesn’t know what to do with it, how to fix it. Maybe talking with Scott will give him some sort of key, some kind of explanation. Maybe he can get something to soften the blow with Mumbo and salvage their friendship.
At the end of the day, Grian doesn’t want to lose him. Mumbo is his best friend, he can say that with absolute certainty. By now, their lives have become so entangled that Grian doesn’t think he could imagine his life without Mumbo. So he wants to do whatever he can to preserve their relationship.
Grian continues to stare at the letter on his nightstand, feeling his eyes get heavy. He sets his hand under his cheek, yawning. He wants to consult Mumbo about the letter, or even Scar, honestly. He’s beginning to trust the man, now that he can understand his motives and ambitions. Now that he really knows Scar.
He doesn’t know the kind of situation he’s going to walk into with Scott. He’s still teetering on the edge of indecision. Scott told him to come alone, but all of Grian’s instincts are yelling for him not to. He wants Mumbo’s input (he wants someone to tell him no before he does something stupid), but how can he get it when Mumbo isn’t talking to him?
Feeling his eyes drop, Grian lets out another sigh. He still has time to figure it out, at least. Maybe he can ask Mumbo when he sees him tomorrow, that might be a good route to go.
Grian’s eyes settle on the necklace, tracing the outline of the crystal in the dark.
He misses Mumbo.
With his eyes falling shut, Grian reaches out to grab hold of the necklace. The chain is cold in his palm, wrapping around his fingers. He brings it close, setting it on the space by his pillow and holding it. His thumb rests over the crystal, feeling it steadily cool under his touch.
For the night, he lets his eyes fall shut, a small piece of Mumbo nearby.
When Grian gets to Mumbo’s manor, he’s greeted by an interesting sight. Grum and Jrum lead him to the study, with Jrum having decided to take Grian’s hand the whole way there. The boy seems to be a little bit more attached to him lately, not that Grian could blame him. Even Grum is a bit closer to Grian after everything.
Arriving at the study, Grian sees the door is open slightly. He lets go of Jrum’s hand if only to brace himself on the door frame as he pokes his head in. At first it’s to see if Mumbo is actually inside his study, and when he sees the vampire, his interest changes. Now knowing that Mumbo is in his study, with his back turned to Grian no less, he observes. The boys take that as their cue to leave, whispering to one another.
Scar stands beside Mumbo, and they’re right in front of Mumbo's small desk. Their shoulders are just inches apart, and they’re talking.
“–don’t know, Scar. I talked to Doc about it and he said the theory could have some weight. Especially with their rogue hunters,” Mumbo hums, and Grian stands in attention.
“I didn’t say we had to completely disregard Grian’s theory entirely, just that we should keep our options open. Look into different routes, you feel?” Scar answers.
Mumbo doesn’t respond immediately, and Grian sees him lean forward. A soft shuffling noise follows, and Grian assumes the vampire is moving papers around. “Still… a werewolf? They can’t even hold holy metal!”
“It’d explain the claw marks, and the teeth! The teeth Mumbo! Those guys have some serious chompers on them!” Scar cries out, and Grian has to keep himself from laughing. He isn’t sure why he feels like he should be quiet, but something tells him he should keep his presence hidden. “Have you ever stuck your head in a werewolf’s mouth before?”
“What?!” Mumbo exclaims, head whipping toward Scar at the man’s question. “What situation have you been in that’s led to you sticking your head inside of a werewolf’s mouth?!”
“It’s a long story,” Scar grumbles. “Anyways–”
Grian finds himself just watching the two, taking in the way they take up space with each other. It’s quite easy to see that they’ve been friends for a long time. There’s no questioning that. They seem so comfortable with one another, with the way Scar easily leans into Mumbo’s space and Mumbo doesn’t lean away from it. They bounce off of each other so casually, so lightly. It’s enough for Grian to completely forget about the fact that one of them is a vampire and the other is a fae. It’s enough for him to think of them as human.
And really, they are. In the most basic sense, at least.
There’s a little smile that finds its way onto Grian’s face as Mumbo and Scar talk. Mumbo seems so relaxed with Scar, in a way that Grian feels like he hasn’t seen in a while; not since before the cave.
It’s a thought that tugs on Grian’s chest, making him frown slightly. He misses being able to see Mumbo like this, he misses being the reason for it. But Scar knows what he’s doing, how to be a good friend to Mumbo, so Grian isn’t too worried about leaving the vampire in his hands should the occasion rise.
“Speaking of Grian,” Scar slowly begins, pulling the human’s attention away from his thoughts, “I don’t know how you did it Mumbo, but you’ve really found quite the interesting one.”
“This again?” Mumbo questions, though not unkindly.
“I’m serious!” Scar exclaims, defensive. “He… at first I didn’t get it, why you were so willing to risk your life for him. I thought maybe he had done something, twisted your arm somehow. But he’s… really just like that, isn’t he?”
Grian blinks.
Mumbo chuckles, “He certainly is. He can be a real menace, honestly, but it’s weirdly endearing? Like a cat who’s determined to sit over your book until you pay attention to him.”
His words earn a full blown laugh from Scar, pulling more laughter from Mumbo. The sounds of their combined laughter has something in Grian’s chest warming, a smile tugging lightly at his lips. One that stays even as their laughter dies down and quiet stretches over them.
“You know, he told me I had a heart,” Scar says after a beat of silence. “I don’t think there’s ever been a human who’s told me that before.”
“So he gave you the ‘you’re not a monster’ spiel as well then?” Mumbo questions idly, followed by more sounds of shuffling.
Scar nods with a quiet sound. “And then with that changeling, Watchers, he had no qualms about taking my hand and… making sure I wasn’t alone. He hardly knows me!” Scar exclaims with soft disbelief, as if astounded by Grian’s actions. “What a weird human he is, I mean, really!”
“Grian is quite kind, in that regard,” Mumbo replies before falling silent. “...he wasn’t wrong, you know.”
“About?”
“You have a heart.”
Grian can hear Scar’s sharp inhale from where he stands.
“Mumbo…” Scar trails off, some kind of soft warning in his voice.
Mumbo holds his hands out placatingly, “You’re very kind, Scar, when you allow yourself to be. A-And I know you have your whole past with the fae and everything but… don’t exclude yourself from that kindness as well, alright? Human or not, your heart is very real, bud.”
“You two really are a pair,” Scar huffs, far too soft. “Honestly, it’s been kinda freaky to not see you both attached at the hip lately. What’s up with that?”
Panic jolts through Grian, zipping right up his spine and forcing him to move. He doesn’t want to hear Mumbo’s response, doesn’t want to hear the reason. He sees Mumbo opening his mouth to speak, and Grian’s rushing into the room as quickly as he can. He’s thankful for the fact that Mumbo and Scar’s backs are facing him.
“It’s–”
“Hi Scar!” Grian’s voice cuts through the air as he tries to put as much cheerfulness as he can into it, reaching to set his hands on the fae’s shoulders.
Scar gives him the exact reaction he was hoping for. He jumps in Grian’s hold, a loud yell leaving him, “Oh! Oh! What in the world?!” He turns around in Grian’s hold, who steps back as he fades into giggles. “Wh– Grian!” Scar cries, and Grian’s giggles turn to cackles.
“Scar, you should know by now never to turn your back to me.” Grian smirks at him mischievously. “You always make it so easy, how was I supposed to not sneak up on you?”
“By resisting the urge!” Scar retorts, pathetically defensive.
“Did you just get here?” Mumbo questions, turning to Grian. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Grian nods, deciding he probably shouldn’t mention that he was listening in on their conversation. “Sure did!” Now in front of the desk, he can see all of the papers on it. Face pinching in curiosity, he walks up to it, “What’s all this?”
“Ah, well, Scar said we should probably go over all of our information so far while waiting for you. Apparently he has something to share, but refused to budge until you arrived,” Mumbo answers, directing his gaze over to Scar. Grian does the same, lifting a brow.
Scar stares at them both for a second, “What?”
“The thing, Scar?” Mumbo prompts.
“What thin— oh! Right!” Realization dawns on him as he realizes what Mumbo is talking about. “You guys remember that shard from Doc?”
Grian nods, “I gave it to you because you said you knew a guy.”
“Well, I’ve finally heard back from him!” Scar grins, keeping his smile light. “He wants to meet with you both to give you the information he managed to scrounge up on that shard.”
“That’s great!” Mumbo exclaims, sharing a look with Grian, who hurriedly nods in agreement. “Where does he want to meet?”
Scar’s smile turns a little nervous as he weakly chuckles, “Well uh… y’see, he’s a bit of a paranoid sorta guy? And if you want to meet with him you’re going to have to go to him.”
“Where exactly?” Grian asks, brows furrowing.
“Well he might live by Boatem,” Scar answers, and Mumbo makes an affronted noise.
“That’s nearly a day’s journey!” he cries in disbelief. “It’ll take us two, maybe even three days to and from!”
Scar grimaces at that, “I know it’s not ideal, but think of the benefits, Mumbo! The information!”
Mumbo’s lips lower in a small frown, “It is kind of important information. It’d certainly be beneficial for Doc and the Council.” He quietly hums in contemplation, thinking it over. “Goodness, it's going to be a journey.”
“Which means we shouldn’t dilly dally for long, huh?” Grian looks at the two of them.
“Not really.” Mumbo’s forehead creases. “If we’re going to take a trip out to Boatem we’ll need better transportation than walking. It’d take us even longer on foot.”
“Couldn’t Scar just use that teleportation glyph again?” Grian inquires, looking over at him.
“Unfortunately gentlemen, I’ll have to sit this one out,” Scar says, “meaning my teleportation glyph won’t be of much use here.”
Grian frowns, “You’re not coming?” He doesn’t mean to sound disappointed. The idea of Scar not coming with them feels weird. They’ve hardly done anything alone since Scar showed his face. It’s like he’d be upsetting a balance!
Scar seems taken aback by his question, with the way his eyes go just the slightest bit wide. His face softens seconds later, and he shakes his head. “Sorry, songbird. I need to take care of the shop since Tubbo will be away.” His hand reaches out, and Grian watches as it approaches him. Scar seems to freeze with hesitation before he follows through and rests his hand in Grian’s hair. “But don’t you worry! I’ve got the transportation all taken care of.” He pulls his hand back.
“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is, Scar,” Mumbo teases.
“It’s very reassuring!” Scar retorts in defense. “You just have no faith in me!”
Mumbo turns toward his desk as he and Scar begin to bicker, leaving Grian to watch. It’s not that he means to, he just gets lost in his head. He still feels a lingering sensation of Scar’s hand in his hair, something that Grian isn’t quite sure why makes him pause.
When he comes back into focus, it’s just him and Mumbo in the study. Mumbo is still gathering things and making piles on his desk.
“Where’d Scar go?” Grian questions, confused. It’s like the man up and vanished.
“Hm? Oh. He said he had to go do something.” Mumbo shrugs in answer as he reaches for some papers. He taps them on the desk, trying to arrange them.
Grian frowns at the answer before falling silent. It’s just himself and Mumbo around. It’s the perfect time for him to ask for Mumbo’s opinion on the invitation. Maybe they could have an actual discussion about it and Grian can get his input. It’d certainly be nice to have. And this is the perfect opportunity to do so.
It’s not like Mumbo can avoid him this time. That is, if he even was the night before.
The idea of Mumbo purposefully avoiding him makes his stomach twist in knots. But he has to do this. He has to take the first step.
He takes a breath. “Hey, Mumbo?” Grian starts, catching the man’s attention.
“Yes?” Mumbo doesn’t look at him, keeping his gaze focused elsewhere. He’s got three piles of papers on his desk, and Grian recognizes some of the copies of reports that Doc had sent.
Looking at him, at the way Mumbo preoccupies himself with arranging the papers on his desk, Grian hesitates. He bites his lip, wondering if it’s even a good idea to mention the invitation from Scott.
Does he really need Mumbo’s input? His advice? Especially when Grian is considering doing this in order to get some kind of clarity on Mumbo? Sure, it’s a good opportunity to get more info on Scott, but Grian isn’t sure if that’s really his priority.
“Grian?” Mumbo turns to him with concerned eyes as he breaks through Grian’s thoughts. His dark eyes shine with worry, and the sight makes Grian a little weak. “What is it that you wanted?” the vampire asks, almost sounding nervous.
Grian stares at him, at his worry, and he quickly realizes he can’t ask. Everything between them is already so fragile. He isn’t sure how much their glass platform can hold before it gives out. He shakes his head, “Ah it’s — it was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
He smiles up at Mumbo, decision made.
He needs answers.