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Pomni isn't sure about a vast majority of things since she arrived in this digital hell, she doesn't remember her real name, if she has or at least had any kind of family or if she even had any friends while in the real world. . She only knows a few things.
First? Her age.
Second? How much she hates this place.
Don't take her in the wrong way
She doesn't hate any of the other habitants who live in this virtual world with her and oddly enough, she doesn't hate Caine, even with everything going on, it's clear that the walking denture really tries to make them more comfortable with the situation they're in right now (even if it doesn't work out very well).
Why does she hate this place so much? It's quite simple.
It's hellishly hot.
Not necessarily some type of physical hot, it's more like a fireball that would cause her pain if touched, like a walking flame wall that spreads throughout this place, and it's one of the only things she legitimately hates with such vigor.
She doesn't remember completely, but she's almost sure that this feeling isn't normal (as if something in this place was somewhat normal), but she can still feel this rasp in the air and this feeling of nausea in this heat, it's as if ants have been crawling under your skin, leaving bites that don't necessarily hurt, but make you want to rip everything out with your teeth and nails, skin, flesh–
"POMNI!!!!"‐ A scream is finally heard by Pomni, who ends up getting scared and throwing herself into the arms of the first person next to her, Jax.
Jax's skin is a thousand times worse than the hot feeling the Tent normally has, most of the circus people's skin is like hell itself in this place. She jumps away from his arms in a failed attempt to escape the heat.
S̵̶̮̬͖̄͑͟h̶̯̰̝̻̿̓͢ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ f̷̵̫̞̉͢ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ḻ̸͈ͧ͑̓̓̀͡s̩͙͖̋͛͟ t̴͕͖͓̀h̶̯̰̝̻̿̓͢ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ă̶̸̝ͦ͊̿͋͞n̷̶̯͉̊̽̐ͦ͘t̴͕͖͓̀s̩͙͖̋͛͟ û̶͙̽̿͆̈n̷̶̯͉̊̽̐ͦ͘d̸̡̩͍̔ͥ͜ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊r̶̷̲͍̭͐̾̀͟ h̶̯̰̝̻̿̓͢ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊r̶̷̲͍̭͐̾̀͟ s̩͙͖̋͛͟k̶̸͙̭̹͆͟i̵͓͙̱͚̎͟n̷̶̯͉̊̽̐ͦ͘
"Pomni...is everything okay?" Gangle says, trying to break the younger girl out of her little trance.
The clown's voice seems to get stuck in her throat, the more she tried to respond to the girl made of ribbons, the more she felt her own throat tear.
W̸͈ͯ̾̒̿h̶̯̰̝̻̿̓͢y̯̤͑́́̓́ d̸̡̩͍̔ͥ͜ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚n̷̶̯͉̊̽̐ͦ͘'t̴͕͖͓̀ t̴͕͖͓̀h̶̯̰̝̻̿̓͢ę̷̵̧̖̫̗̆̊ ă̶̸̝ͦ͊̿͋͞n̷̶̯͉̊̽̐ͦ͘t̴͕͖͓̀s̩͙͖̋͛͟ g̴̶̛̮̣͙͠ȍ̸̢̢̮͚̐̚ ă̶̸̝ͦ͊̿͋͞ẅ̷̷̢̟͇͈̒ă̶̸̝ͦ͊̿͋͞y̯̤͑́́̓́?
"HMMMM... IT SEEMS OUR DEAR POMNI WON'T BE ABLE TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR ACTIVITIES TODAY!!"- Caine says, a sound like several sad voices saying "Nooooo" comes out and echoes throughout the Tent.
He looks around for a moment, until he meets Ragatha's worried gaze.
"RAGATHA!! PLEASE TAKE POMNI TO HER LIVING QUARTERS FOR A REST!! WE CAN'T HAVE HER IN THIS STATE FOR THE SHOW!!!"
And that was the only thing Ragatha needed, immediately going to Pomni's rescue, guiding her lightly, without touching her, to the girl's room.
"Hey"- She says in a weak voice so as not to scare the girl, trying to see if she can at least snap her out of her trance, but the girl barely reacted to that either.
There wasn't panic in Pomni's eyes like other times, but they still showed black squiggles instead of their normal blue and red, and that certainly worried Ragatha, because if it couldn't be panic, what could it be?
H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎t͖͖̠̬͛H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎t͖͖̠̬͛H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎t͖͖̠̬͛S̢̼̼͖̺͖ͪk̼̼̞̦̞̼̔i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥM͚͚̻͂̇͜͟͟ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧl͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘t͖͖̠̬͛i̧̻̻͉̜͑ͪ̾͟n̫̫̘̗͕̲̲̎ͥg̬̬̱ͩ͋͟͟H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎t͖͖̠̬͛H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧl͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘l͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎t͖͖̠̬͛I̡̨͙͙̪̹̾͟t͖͖̠̬͛H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅụ̴̴̾̀͟͡ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟t͖͖̠̬͛s̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅI̡̨͙͙̪̹̾͟t͖͖̠̬͛H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅụ̴̴̾̀͟͡ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟t͖͖̠̬͛s̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅI̡̨͙͙̪̹̾͟t͖͖̠̬͛H͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅụ̴̴̾̀͟͡ṛ̣̬̫̍͌ͩ͟t͖͖̠̬͛s̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅS̢̼̼͖̺͖ͪo͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞S̢̼̼͖̺͖ͪo͙͙̙̘̙ͤͫ͞M͚͚̻͂̇͜͟͟ụ̴̴̾̀͟͡c̨̨̣̮̝̈́̔ͯ̀͂h̨͚͚͖ͯ̒̄͗͞P̤̤͖ͪ͑̕͜͜l͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎s̨̞̞̰͎͎̪̩͕̈́̀ͯ̍ͧͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧH͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧl͖͖̰̝ͭ̀͘p͔͔͚͉̬̋ͩ̾͗M͚͚̻͂̇͜͟͟ḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧH͇͇̹͊ͪ́̕ͅḛ̡̰̳͓̥ͬ͋ͪͧa͔͔̜̗̦ͩ̅̎t͖͖̠̬͛
They had finally arrived at the door to Pomni's room, and at that exact moment, it seemed that something had awakened in the smaller girl, making her immediately stand behind the older woman.
Pomni's room was one of the worst parts of the entire Tent, it was hot and stuffy, the worst possible combination for the poor clown, and there were things that certainly scared her inside: giant cannons, knives with extremely sharp edges, toys that overall looked more like objects of pure torture, all returning to the damned theme of a clown or jester.
"POMNI?!"- Ragatha screams for a moment, startled by the girl's sudden reaction. The doll takes her time to calm her non-existent heart, slowly turning to the clown and looking at her, if Ragatha was worried before, now she doesn't even know what word to use to combat that feeling, maybe terrified for whatever reason the girl reacted like that.
Pomni looked like a scared wet cat, staring at her bedroom door as if a predator was going to come out and tear it into indistinguishable pieces of living matter.
"My dear? Are you okay? What's wrong?"- Ragatha says again, her voice sounds even lighter than before, but with a clear tone of concern, which finally manages to break the younger girl out of her trance.
"AHN??"- Pomni screams for a brief moment, but soon recovers- "AH! Ragatha! Ahn..."- The clown can't find the right words to describe her feelings to Ragatha, what should she say? That she has been feeling this unbearable heat almost following her since her arrival?? That the specially designed room that was made specifically for her is perhaps even the worst part of this place??? That would be stupid!! If they don't necessarily need to eat and don't even feel hungry, they shouldn't feel any type of temperature change, be it heat, cold, etc. And now she's here making a fool of herself in front of Ragatha, she must think that you're nothing more than a stupid idiot and that perhaps the best option for you would be to abstract-
Pomni's thoughts immediately cease when she feels Ragatha's soft cloth hands touch her arms, somehow trying to help her focus. She waited for the heat to begin, expected the ants biting her flesh and the desire to escape such touch, but instead, Pomni was greeted with nothing more than a slight and strange new feeling, it was not nauseating and much less uncomfortable.
It was cold, but not extremely cold, the heat of Ragatha's own "skin" was still clearly existent, but it was different...it was obviously different...they were not daggers wrapped in acid that at the slightest touch would make her feel like her own skin was melting, it was more like snowflakes on her skin with the slight warmth of a winter sun shining through cloudy clouds, yes, that would be the best possible description.
While the youngest slowly wandered around in her head, the doll continued to watch her, her gaze never leaving the clown for a second. After what seemed like hours, Pomni was finally able to come back to herself, the first thing she fully saw was Ragatha herself.
"You really are out of it today, huh?"- The older woman's voice is full of concern and nervousness, she has never seen the younger one so out of it, not even on her first day she was like this.- "What's wrong Hun?
Pomni remains silent for a moment, debating whether to tell the truth or a lie to the woman in front of her, but quickly makes her decision when she sees Ragatha's worried look.
"Well...it's hard to explain"- The jester stops to think for a moment- "Can we talk about this in your room?...if possible?"
"Of course Pomni, whatever you want my dear"- Ragatha says, giving her the kindest smile that she could possibly muster.
Pomni tries her best not to blush.
It doesn't take the two of them long to get to the aforementioned room and finally enter it. Ragatha's room is extremely different from Pomni's, with a vibe more similar to a doll's house than a deadly circus, there is furniture made of something similar in appearance to plastic, stuffed animals, some needles and scissors scattered along with lines of different colors and even some personal items made of "wood" such as a wardrobe and a headboard.
(She tries not to comment on some of the broken furniture, as well as trying not to look at the long and slightly worrying collection of knives...Wait- was that an Axe????)
Ragatha takes Pomni to her bed and makes the younger one sit while the older one crouches in front of her.
"Okay, no one can come here"- Says Ragatha- "What happened?"
"..It's hard to explain"- Pomni takes a slight minute before finally being able to speak- "Do you..feel it? This heat? In the Tent I mean?"
"Heat?"- Ragatha's confusion is clear, making Pomni slightly nervous- "Well, as much as I can remember, circus tend to normally be pretty stuffy, but I don't think we feel heat or cold in the digital world"
"No! It's not that! It's not literally, it's something more figurative, yknow?.. It's like there are ants are on my skin, biting... stretching and... tearing"- At this point, Pomni's eyes had turned into black scribbles - "And no matter where you go, no matter who you touch, you feel that everything is hotter than normal, even if there is no heat in that place"
Before Ragatha even begins to speak, Pomni continues- "God, the worst part is when they touch you, it's like someone put a needle full of acid into my own flesh right down to the bone, it's horrible, nauseating, sometimes it's almost so painful it makes me want to rip it out and pull it out and-"
And from then on, Pomni began to do ramble and ramble about such thing, while the doll seemed a little surprised by the clown's confession, she had noticed that the youngest wasn't such a fan of any kind of touch, but she didn't even think it could be that bad, that it wasn't such a horrible thing to Pomni, but as I appears, she was clearly wrong.
And almost like magic, the oldest started to panic.
She had touched Pomni earlier, she probably had made her feel uncomfortable with that, why didn't Pomni tell her earlier?? perhaps because she didn't want to make Ragatha mad? Not to make her feel hurt?? She should have noticed, she is the most observant in the entire circus, she SHOULD HAVE NOTICED, HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE????
"Ragatha?"- Pomni's voice sounded heavy, waiting for the doll to start talking again.
"Pomni...I need you to be honest with me." -Ragatha's tone carried her panic, and the youngest was able to realize it, nodding quickly to whatever the oldest wanted to ask her- "You...Um a little earlier, when I touched your arm..."
Immediately noticing where the doll was going, Pomni interrupts her- "AH! NO NO!!!! YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG RAGGY! I SWEAR!"- Even with those words, the older one still seemed slightly suspicious.
(Ragatha tries not to think about the nickname that just came from Pomni, tries not to think about how sweet it sounds when something comes out of the youngest girl's mouth)
"I'm serious! I promise it wasn't a bad thing!! If anything, I think it was one of the best things that happened!! Like- it was great! I would let you touch me again!"- The girl barely notices that the moment those words came out of her mouth the eldest had remained silent, and when she looks, Ragatha's face is extremely red, looking like the clothes Pomni wears.
Realizing what she said, Pomni was at a loss for words to say to Ragatha, and so they stayed, their faces extremely red in a silence so awkward and tense that you could cut it with a knife like butter. But after a while, Pomni finally managed to come to her senses and say something.
"I MEAN! YOU'RE SPECIAL TO ME YOU KNOW!! LIKE- YOU'RE GREAT, BEING FRIENDS AND ALL THAT, YOU KNOW!!! AI CARALHO O QUE É QUE EU TOFALANDOACHOMELHOREUPARARDEFALARNÉ??!??!?"
Ragatha was a little confused by the tangle of words that Pomni had just released, she didn't even know some of the words she said as they sounded like some other language, but it was impossible not to let a smile reach her face, it was Pomni after all!! And Pomni was wonderful, whether she was a mess or not.
While the younger girl slowly rambled for a long period of time, the older one decided to come closer to her, holding her hand up with the intention of taking the other's hand.
Pomni managed to notice this, and instead of flinching her hand far away, she let's the older woman grab it and interlock their fingers.
That feeling had returned, that sweet, icy heat, it was almost as if she could melt just with Ragatha's hand holding her, it was incredible. She loved that. And apparently she loved it so much, that she didn't even notice that she had brought her body closer to the older one, almost being on her lap.
Ragatha stood still for a while, without sudden movements so as not to scare the youngest, but when she saw the clown's little happy face, she could barely hold herself back. Gently, she put her other arm around her, expecting her to immediately try to leave, but the only thing she could feel was the clown simply melting completely into her arms. After a while, she began to hear something, a slight noise that seemed to come from the youngest girl's own throat.
Was that a purr?
God, how can someone be so adorable?
Meanwhile, the only thing Pomni could think about was this feeling. It was...spectacular, no no!! It was magnificent! Ethereal she could even say! It was all the best that Pomni could think of, which means, it was just like Ragatha. It was sweet and soft, yet strong in some way she couldn't fully understand, it was complex and violent and yet so simple and calm. Like a sweet serenade that throughout its melodic notes introduces beauty and clarity, but also the emotion and shock that makes up the beautiful music that comes out of a small part of your heart made under lines of code.
Pomni couldn't focus on anything but Ragatha, right now, it's just them, holding each other and giving each other light caresses. There is no pain coming from the heat, but something new and unexpected, which it burns more than a thousand suns, but even so it is cold like rainy winter days where the water that touches the ground turns into a pillow of snow.
This, so new and old at the same time, so simple and complex, incomplete and at the same time just perfect in every way, a melody with soft notes played by an loud trumpet ready to give its most messed and beautifully made harmony.
A sun shining on a snowy day.
This is Love
True Love.