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English
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Published:
2023-11-09
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1,259
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1/1
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Unreasonable Reasons

Summary:

Radar comes to Klinger for a little advice

Notes:

just a note here, trans author <3

Work Text:

For once, Radar was thankful to be short. He simply slowly and quietly moved around the camp, keeping his head down and his steps which, and he was certain he wasn't noticed by a single person.

When he reached his destination, however, Radar took a look around. He squinted and took another look, then hesitantly stepped towards the door of the tent. Radar knocked on the door of Corporal Klinger's tent when he was sure nobody was looking.

"Come innn!" was the loud sing-song reply he recieved, and Radar took another nervous look around before he quickly opened up the door and stepped in, nearly slamming the door behind him and pressing his back against it. He started to warm up, immediately, and he hadn't even noticed it had been cold outside with how nervous he was.

Klinger turned around, smiled bright at him when he looked him up and down. The corporal was wearing a frilly pink dress, fluffy and fanning out around the bottom, white lace around the chest, the v-neck in it obviously made for a woman. But for Klinger, it only showed off his hairy chest. He looked unmistakably masculine.

"Dear, it's not nice to stare." Klinger told him, and Radar suddenly realized he still hadn't said anything.

"Yes sir, er, sorry, sir, um.. I'm sorry." Radar stumbled over his words, looking away from Klinger's eyes.

"You want me to sign something? Or are you in the wrong tent?" Klinger asked, unconcerned, but then he stopped for a moment. He took a look at Radar's face. The man was showing emotion. "Oh, my. Radar.. do you need a hug?" He didn't wait until Radar said anything, just walked a little closer too him, carefully stepping in his high heels.

Radar didn't think he did, but he nodded and stepped forward anyway.

"Oh, come here, come here." Klinger stepped forward and gathered up Radar in a hug, leaning his head down so Radar didn't feel so short.

Radar allowed it, and he couldn't deny, it felt nice. He wrapped his hands around Klinger, then, and practically melted into it. He hadn't realized just how much he needed something like this.

"Alright then, Radar. Alright. If you got any problems, you let me know, alright, love?" Klinger told him with a chuckle, and Radar murmured his agreement.

"Well, um, Klinger, I.. boy, can I tell you like this? This is nice." Radar asked, happily snuggling into Klinger. His flowy, frilly dress was warm and enveloped him, and Klinger himself was like a bear.

"Alright. Tell me like this." Klinger agreed, cracking a smile when he looked down.

"I don't feel like I look masculine enough.. but you wear dresses all the time and you look like a man. Well, um, I was wondering.. how do you do it?" Radar meekly asked, burying most of the question into Klinger's chest.

"You don't feel like you look masculine enough?" Klinger questioned him, peeling Radar back from the hug to look him up and down. Radar grumbled and pulled him back in, and Klinger patted him on the back, chuckling. "Sorry."

"That's alright." Radar answered, right against Klinger's frilled lace dress.

"Uh, Radar, remind me why we have to be pressed together?" Klinger asked, a note of amusement in his voice.

"I don't like to feel my feelings very much. This helps." Radar answered truthfully, and Klinger just chuckled again.

"Okay. Well, maybe you could start with telling me why you don't feel like you're.. masculine.. 'enough'? Radar, you look like enough of a man to me."

"Er, yes sir, but.. I don't feel like enough of a man.. I'm.. well, I'm soft and a little.. er, coddled, around here.. and, and, I've got a high pitched voice, and, well, I'm short, I've never been with a lady, I.. I shower alone, I.. sleep with a teddy bear, I..." Radar fell silent, digging his face into Klinger's chest.

"That doesn't sound like any reason for you not to be man enough." Klinger murmured as he was rubbing Radar's back, soothing him. "You're man enough."

"No, I.." Radar sighed and broke away from his hug, looking up at Klinger's face. He tried to speak, then sighed and walked away, walking past Klinger into his quarters. "I can't.. explain it to you very well."

"Try, if you'd like. Just remember, love, I'm trying to get sent out of here for being a nut. Anything you tell me wouldn't be believed even if I were to spill it to anyone." Klinger informed him, swivelling his head and looking at the pacing Radar.

"Yes, I know, that's why I chose your tent.. I mean.. I'm sorry, sir." Radar murmured, his head angled down at the floor.

"That's okay, Radar. That's why you chose my tent." Klinger replied, and Radar nodded.

"Klinger.. Klinger, oh, I need you to listen carefully to this, uh, it's sorta, unbelievable, sir.." Radar told him, pacing around.

"I'll believe the unbelievable." Klinger giggled, and Radar nodded again, still pacing.

"That's why I chose your tent." Radar murmured, and Klinger cracked another little smile. "Klinger I.. I.. I was born a girl. Um. I'm.. I'm a man. But.. I wasn't born one. You know. Difference in sex chromosomes.. uh.. I've been smuggling testosterone, injecting myself, you know.. I really have, uh, a vagina, you know.. oh, God, why am I telling you this? Klinger, I.. could you tell? Do I look like a woman?"

Klinger stared at Radar, who was still pacing around his quarters, back and forth.

"Well, no! I don't often check between a man's legs. But, well, that is a surprise. No, no Radar, I didn't know. And I can guarantee you the only person who's suspected of having a vagina in this camp is me." Klinger told him, still swivelling his head with the motion of Radar's pacing. "Now will you please stop doing that before I go cross eyed?"

"Mm? Doing what? I'm not doing anything. Am I doing something?" Radar asked, pacing right past him, and Klinger sighed and grabbed him by the collar. Radar nearly lost his footing, but soon he stood in place, held still by the tight grip on his shirt.

"Doing that, Radar."

"Sorry, sir." Radar quickly muttered, looking down at the floor and squeezing his eyes half shut, as though he was about to be berated or hit.

"Radar." Klinger sighed, and he released his grip on the shorter man's collar, settling instead for patting his shoulder. "You're a man. You look like a man. The secret to my looking masculine? You're acutely aware all the time that I'm not a woman. Same for you, Radar. Don't worry."

Radar looked up at him, a happy sort of sparkle in his eye, a smile tugging at his lips. He looked happy; it was throwing Klinger off a little. "You really mean that, sir?" He asked almost wistfully, looking up at Klinger like he had just earned a raise.

"You're all man, Radar." Klinger assured him, patting him on the shoulder. "Oh, come here, come here."

Radar happily accepted another hug, happily snuggled into Klinger's warm arms and chest, the warm flowy dress that again engulfed his front, Klinger's arms that slung around his shoulders, his sleeves brushing Radar's back.

"All man?" Radar repeated, murmuring it into Klinger's chest.

Klinger nodded and gently cradled the back of Radar's neck, lightly patting his back. "All man." He assured him, stifling a cough from the near mouldy smell of Radar's wool cap. "All man."