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Kazuha treated Scaramouche so terribly gentle. He treated him as if he was a glass doll that could break at any moment - and really he wasn't that far from a doll, but he definitely wasn't easily breakable.
He'd been in too many battles and fights to count, he'd been experimented on, his body being sliced open over and over again as well as painful liquids being injected into him, practically lighting his insides on fire.
Touch became a scary thing after everything he'd been through - he saw it more as a weapon than a comfort..but slowly, he was beginning to get used to it with Kazuha by his side.
Kazuha's touches were light and gentle, they weren't painful or overwhelming like he was used to.
Often they were small touches, like their legs touching as they sat down together by the fire, or when Kazuha would push some of Scaramouche's hair behind his ear, or even when they'd reach for the same thing and end up touching hands.
Scaramouche found himself starting to mind those touches less and less.
Sometimes it would be more than those kind of touches - as they spent more time wanderering together, they seemed to slowly gravitate towards each other.
It had been a little while back, while they were making their leisurely way through Liyue, when Kazuha had reached for Scaramouche's hand and quietly interlocked their fingers together. He didn't immediately snatch his hand away like he would have just a few months prior, and found himself kind of..liking it.
The samurai had only smiled softly, and Scaramouche knew that if he had a heart, it would've been beating way too fast.
That bastard was seriously going to be the end of him.
Only a few hours later, they shared their first kiss under the moonlight. It was short and sweet, but it was also memorable and made them both want to do it again.
From then on, there had been much more touch between them, which led them to their current moment.
Scaramouche was sat behind Kazuha, carding his fingers through his white hair that had been let out of it's usual ponytail. He made sure to remove any tangles with gentle and careful hands, finding the activity to be calming for both himself and Kazuha.
They were both quiet as Scaramouche worked, the only sound being the crackling of the fire near them.
It wasn't uncomfortable though, it was a welcomed silence.
"There, all done." Scara announced after a few moments.
"Thank you, that feels much better." Kazuha replied, running a bandaged hand through his hair without it getting caught on any knots.
Scaramouche didn't say anything and instead got up, putting a few more sticks into the makeshift fire.
He didn't really need to stay warm, but it was different for Kazuha, he was human.
"Scara? Let's go to sleep now, we traveled very far today afterall."
"Fine." Once again, he didn't need sleep - but Kazuha would complain if he didn't at least try to get some.
He sat back down besides Kazuha after taking a blanket out of their travel bag.
Kazuha laid down after encouraging Scaramouche to do the same, and honestly the floor in the cave was not at all comfortable, but Kazuha wrapping his arms around him and spooning him made it worth it.
The samurai's arms were wrapped around Scaramouche's waist, and he'd even put his leg over him, keeping them very close together.
He still wasn't used to people actually wanting to be close to him - but he was glad that Kazuha did.
He'd never say it out loud, he'd rather die, but he'd actually started to look forward to their nights together - it was a time of peace and quiet where he didn't have to worry about anything, and he could relax and feel safe in Kazuha's hold. He didn't realise how much he'd wanted physical touch with someone until he got it.
Kazuha equally enjoyed it, getting to hold his travelling partner boyfriend..(he wasn't exactly sure- they hadn't really talked about it very much) was one of his favourite parts of the day. There was just something perfect about the way they held onto each other.
Scara silently reached for one of Kazuha's hands that was wrapped around his own waist, and held onto it loosely. In return, Kazuha pressed a few light kisses to the back of his neck, right over the electro symbol marked into his skin.
"Goodnight Scara..."
"Night Kazuha."
Both of them fell asleep quite quickly, being exhausted from the amount of walking they did during the day (not that Scaramouche would ever admit that.)
...
The overwhelming touch was back - the touch that he couldn't escape from no matter what. Dottore and his knives and drugs would follow him everywhere, even into the darkest depths of his mind.
His legs and arms were strapped down, indicating that it was going to be a particularly painful session.
The scaple had only sliced him a few times when he started sweating and shaking on the hard, cold table.
"Scaramouche, darling you're going to have to be able to handle more than this if you're planning on becoming a God anytime soon."
He couldn't do it. No, he had to do it, all to prove himself worthy. This was what he was made for.
Dottore walked away from him for just a moment, then returned with a vial of bright purple liquid as well as a injection.
"Now, I'd like to see how you react to this, as we could use it while you're in your God form to make you more powerful."
The liquid was inserted into the needle, before it was injected into his arm, and for a moment there was nothing, only Dottore watching him with that sick expression of his, waiting for something terrible to happen.
Only a second past before blinding hot pain spread throughout his entire body and he screamed, his fingers trying to grasp at something but only finding the cold metal below him.
His scream turned into breathless cries of pain, it was just too much- his body couldn't take it.
All he wanted was to pass out - let unconsciousness take him into the dark so he wouldn't have to feel anymore.
When he looked up and the face of the doctor had been replaced by his travelling partner, he jolted so hard that he woke himself up.
...
Scaramouche flew up from bed, sitting up before stumbling upwards, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste.
"Scara..." Came Kazuha's sleepy voice a second later, his eyes opening and being immediately filled with concern.
For somebody who didn't need to breathe, he was surprisingly in need of getting some air into his lungs. Maybe it was just the fact he'd gotten used to it, once again getting weaker.
He didn't spare Kazuha a word or even a glance, instead, he quickly made his way out of the cave and outside, the only light coming from the stars, moon and the few fireflies that were buzzing around.
"Scaramouche-" Kazuha tried again, throwing the blanket off of himself and following after the older male.
"Go away." He growled, sucking in a deep breath before sitting down in the grass.
Of course Kazuha ignored him, doing as he pleased and sitting next to him anyway.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
Scaramouche didn't reply, he couldn't bring himself to. He and Kazuha had gotten close sure, but he still didn't want anyone else seeing him struggle. He could deal with that by himself because he wasn't weak.
"It's alright, we don't have to talk about it."
"May I hold your hand?" He asked quietly, never doing anything without permission.
Scaramouche silently gave his hand to Kazuha while purposefully looking away from him. Just a second later and Kazuha interlocked their hands together, giving Scara's a small squeeze.
"I didn't want you to see this."
"Everyone has nightmares sometimes, unfortunately."
"It's pathetic and embarrassing." Scara grumbled, his fingers digging into the grass.
"I know that if it had of been me who just woke up from a nightmare, you'd never think that..you're too harsh on yourself."
"It's what I deserve, and what I need to stay strong."
"I think you deserve to be treated gently, like humans should be." Kazuha moved a little closer to him, still holding onto his hand.
"I'm not a human." He immediately said, as if it had been trained into him.
"You're human to me, no matter how you were brought into this world, or what you have inside you." He pressed his other hand to Scara's chest, right over where his heart would be.
"Kazuha..ugh- I'm never going to understand you." Scaramouche murmured, leaning against Kazuha's side. "You're so confusing."
The younger man laughed softly and wrapped an arm around him. "That's alright, but I hope one day you can believe my words."
Scaramouche hummed quietly in response, he didn't know if that would ever happen.
"Would you like to spend the rest of the night out here?"
"Yeah, I'm definitely not going back to sleep."
"Alright darling, I'll stay with you. I always will."
Scara felt his cheeks flush at the pet name - actually, his entire body stiffened and seemed to increase in temperature.
"Stop that."
"Stop what?" Kazuha asked him, his head slightly tilted to the side in question.
"Saying shit like that..! It makes my chest feel all weird!"
Kazuha stared at him for a moment before starting to laugh.
"Hey! What's so funny?!" He yelled, his cheeks only getting more red.
"Sorry sorry- I couldn't help it-" Kazuha shook his head. "Your chest feeling weird is a good thing..it's because you like it when I say nice things about you."
"As if." The older of the two pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face against them.
"Should I never call you darling again then?'
Scaramouche's head snapped up and he glared at Kazuha, before looking defeated as he leant back against him with a quiet grumble. "Don't stop.."
"Okay darling." He smiled, watching as Scaramouche laid down and put his head on his lap.
Kazuha then moved his hand to Scaramouche's hair, carding his fingers through it and helping him relax after the terrible things he was sure he'd seen while asleep.
They stayed like that for hours, watching the sun slowly rise above the horizon before they went about their day, travelling to new and wonderful places together, the doctor and his past being the last thing Scaramouche was thinking about, after all, he had Kazuha by his side to replace all of those terrible thoughts and images.