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Haru had never loved Rin like Rin loved Haru. Consciously or not, he’d always known it. In the lead-up to the Olympics, when their entire world was sponsorships and press and crowds of people and pushing themselves to exhaustion, Haru had come to him for support. Rin knew him like no one else did, and Haru had no one else. And for a while, Rin was able to pretend that there was no one else in Haru’s life.
But there was. And there always would be.
They went back to Iwatobi after the mania died down. Rin and Haru had both won medals, making them brief media sensations, but after two weeks of attention, they had been able to sneak out of the Olympic village and book a trip home. Haru was restless on the plane ride. Rin didn’t want to think about it, so he stared at the clouds whipping past. He felt like he was hurtling towards the moment when he would lose the only person he’d ever loved.
It was an overnight flight, eleven hours long, but Rin didn’t sleep a wink.
Their entire gang was waiting for them at the airport. Nagisa barrelled into Haru before Rin had even spotted them. Rei, Gou, and Makoto followed in quick succession, and Rin got pulled into the resulting, rib-crushing group hug. Rin looked over at Haru, who had broken into one of his rare smiles. He hadn’t even smiled like that when he won gold on the 100m freestyle.
Rin didn’t want to let go. But he did.
Then, unexpectedly, Rin spotted Sousuke.
“Been a while, hasn’t it, Sou?”
They bumped fists, like old times. Sousuke smiled. “Congratulations, Rin. I knew you had it in you.”
“Thanks, man. It’s good to be back home, though. I feel like I finally get to relax.” That wasn’t really true, though, but it felt like an appropriate thing to say.
“Yeah, must have been rough, these past few months.”
Rin glanced over at Haru again. Haru’s gaze was locked on Makoto’s, the two of them smiling ridiculously over Nagisa’s and Gou’s heads. Rin had to look away.
“It was all worth it,” he said. And it had been, for the time he got to spend with Haru, however brief. He tried not to think about the nights they’d spent in their various hotel rooms, curled around one another, breathing each other in. Haru had never been his, he’d just been on loan.
Sou broke through his reverie. “Well, compared to what you’ve been up to, not much has changed in Iwatobi.”
“You still watching your Dad’s shop?” asked Rin. He and Sou made their way over to baggage claim, Rin not wanting to watch Haru and Makoto’s reunion any longer. Forcing himself away.
“Yeah.” Sou rubbed the back of his neck. His hair was shorter, neater than the last time Rin had seen it. “I’m saving up for college, actually. I want to make something of myself, you know?”
“That’s great, Sousuke.” It really was, Rin was proud of his friend for making such a commitment.
“Actually, I was thinking of going to school in Tokyo. You’re still training there, right?” Sousuke seemed almost hesitant to ask.
“Yeah, I’ll be heading back in a couple of months.” Rin watched Haru’s suitcase come around the carousel and hauled it off for him. His own was not far behind. “It would be great to have you around again.” Maybe it would take his mind off Haru, having Sousuke to hang out with. Maybe he would feel less like punching the first available wall.
“Glad to hear it,” said Sousuke, looking very pleased. “Let’s go get the others, and go home.”
Home. For the last four months, home had been whatever bed Haru was sleeping in. Rin didn’t feel one bit like he was going home. He felt like he was leaving it.
***
The door to the shop jingled as a customer walked in. Sousuke put down the price-tag roller and turned to greet the newcomer.
“Oi,” said Rin, hands stuffed in the pockets of his hoodie. Sousuke’s heart leapt a little. He still wasn’t used to Rin being back. Having him in Iwatobi was very different than seeing him on TV. Sousuke fought the urge to reach out and touch him, to prove to himself that Rin was really here.
“Hey, you came,” Sousuke said.
“Nice apron, dork,” Rin said with a grin. Sousuke looked down at the plain, green apron he was wearing, the standard uniform for his Dad’s grocery store.
“Thanks. Green is my colour.”
“Weirdo,” said Rin, picking up an apple and tossing it from one hand to the other. “When do you get off work? I want to do something tonight. I’m going insane, sitting around at my mom’s house.”
Sousuke laughed. “I thought this was supposed to be a vacation for you.”
Rin grimaced. “I hate vacations.”
“Of course you do.”
“Whatever. How much is this?” Rin held up the apple he was holding.
“On the house.”
“Thanks man,” said Rin, biting into it. His razor-sharp teeth made triangular dents in the skin. The apple didn’t look bitten into so much as attacked. “See you later then?”
“I close up at eight. Meet me here at a quarter after.”
“Deal.”
***
The beach was quiet at night, save for the lapping of the waves. Rin carried his shoes in one hand, toes digging into the sand as he and Sousuke walked. It was still warm, the sun having set not too long ago. The beach always calmed him, as did Sousuke’s presence.
“Something’s been bothering you,” said Sousuke.
“Something has,” Rin admitted. He fell silent.
“Gonna tell me what it is?”
“No.”
Sousuke stopped. Rin took a few more steps, then turned around. The breeze blew his hair into his face.
“Rin. You were so mad at me for not telling you about my shoulder. Since then, I’ve told you everything. I was trying to honour your wishes.” He sighed, his gaze fixed on Rin’s. “I was hoping you’d do the same for me.”
Rin kicked at the sand, flinging a wet chunk of it into the sea. “Jeez, alright. I guess I owe you that much.”
“Thanks,” said Sousuke. From his tone, Rin could tell that this was important to him.
Rin sighed dramatically and plopped his butt down on the sand, and Sousuke followed suit. The two of them stared out at the horizon, water as far as the eye could see. It reminded him of Haru. Fuck, everything reminded him of Haru.
Sousuke didn’t break the silence. He didn’t press. He was getting better at knowing exactly how to react when Rin was upset, and a small part of Rin was impressed that Sousuke paid enough attention to know what he needed.
Rin lay on his back and looked up at the stars. His hair was going to be full of sand later. Fuck it.
“It’s Haru,” he said. He didn’t want to elaborate.
Rin saw Sousuke nod in his peripheral vision. “I thought it might be,” Sou replied. “Is it bothering you that he’s with Makoto now?”
Rin looked away. “Right,” said Sou, leaning back to join Rin on the sand. Apparently that was all the answer Sousuke needed. Damn, this guy was good.
“We had…” Rin fumbled for the right words. “We had a thing, I guess. It wasn’t a relationship, that’s for damn sure. Just, I don’t know, being there for each other. There might have been some sex involved, but it was mostly just for the human contact. But I liked it, I liked it a lot. I guess it wasn’t enough for Haru, though. I dunno, maybe I wasn’t enough.”
“Haru and Mako have been in love since grade school, Rin. It’s got nothing to do with you not being enough.”
“It feels like it though.” Rin closed his eyes. “I don’t know what I should have done differently, but I feel like there must have been something.”
“No.”
Rin propped himself up on his elbows and looked at Sousuke. “No?”
“Rin, I don’t want you to think you have to be someone else. Not for Haru, not for anyone. You’re perfect.”
Rin raised an eyebrow. “You think so?”
“I really do.” Sousuke’s eyes were sparkling in the low light. It took a second for Rin to realize what was happening. Then it clicked.
“You-” Rin began. But he didn’t know how to finish that sentence.
“What.” Sousuke’s face held the same annoyed glare as ever. Right after confessing his feelings to Rin. It struck Rin as the funniest thing he’d ever seen. He fell back on the sand, laughing his guts out.
“Loser,” Rin said, wiping tears out of his eyes.
“Fuck you,” was Sousuke’s reply.
Rin rolled over and kissed him. His lips were softer than Rin expected. Sousuke flinched at first, but quickly relaxed into it, one hand twining through Rin’s hair. Half a bucket of sand fell out of it and onto Sousuke’s face, and he sat up abruptly.
“Fucking sand,” said Sousuke, rubbing at his eyes.
Rin started laughing again, he couldn’t help it. “Real smooth, man,” he said. Sousuke shot him another glare, and he doubled over, rolling around on the sand in his mirth.
“I hate you so much right now,” Sousuke growled.
“Sorry, sorry,” Rin said, calming down at last. He watched Sousuke try in vain to brush all the sand off his shirt. It made sense now, the way Sou had been acting. Rin was faintly surprised he hadn’t seen it before. But, of course, he’d been too hung up on Haru to notice.
Haru.
“Sousuke,” Rin said, sitting up. Sou looked at him apprehensively.
“Whatever you’re about to say, please don’t.”
“I have to,” Rin said. He was suddenly hit by how much he didn’t want to do this. But it had to be said. “Sou, I can’t do this to you. It’s exactly what Haru’s been doing to me. I can’t give you what you want, not right now, I’m too…”
“Hung up on someone else,” Sousuke finished.
“Yeah.” Rin looked down at the sand. He couldn’t meet Sousuke’s gaze. “I know what it feels like to be on your end of that, and it’s too painful. I refuse to put you through that.”
“Aren’t you putting me through that right now?” Sousuke asked. Rin detected a hint of anger in his tone.
“Saying no to you now is one thing. But letting you love me while I don’t love you back would be way worse. It would be torture, being fully invested in me when I can’t reciprocate that.”
Sousuke deflated. “I understand,” he said, very softly.
“I’m so sorry, Sou.” Rin felt his eyes well. He wiped them on his sleeve, but that only deposited a load of sand in his eyes. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he said, scrubbing at his eye sockets.
Sousuke managed a small laugh. “Not so funny when it’s you, is it.”
“Jerk.”
***
Sousuke didn’t see Rin at all for the next week. He had to be going utterly mental. He couldn’t hang out with the Iwatobi guys, because he’d have to see Haru and Makoto making googly eyes at each other. He hadn’t come to see Sousuke in a while. The only other person who might be in town was Kisumi, but Sou wasn’t even sure Rin really liked the guy.
He wanted to call. A couple of times, he got so close as dialling Rin’s number. But each time, he hung up before hitting the “Call” button. He kept telling himself that Rin would come to him, when he was ready. But as the days went by, it seemed less and less like Rin was coming back at all.
After eight days (Sou couldn’t help but count them), Gou came to the shop.
“Sousuke, hi!” Gou smiled brightly at him, and Sou detected sympathy in her gaze.
“Hi Gou. Can I help you with anything?”
“Yes, actually. I need strawberries, I’m making a cake.”
Sousuke nearly laughed out loud at the thought of Gou’s cooking. It was almost as bad as Rin’s. Clearly, this was a pretext for something else. Was she here to talk about Rin?
“Strawberries are over here,” said Sousuke, keeping his face and voice very professional. He didn’t want Gou to know that he doubted her cooking. “How are things with you and Rin?”
“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Gou examined the strawberries carefully. “Rin’s a bit down, though. Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure.”
Gou looked up at him. “I think he’s hiding from you.”
Sousuke’s shoulders slumped minutely, before he could stop himself. It figured. Rin didn’t want to see him again.
“Don’t look so upset, Sousuke, I didn’t mean it that way. I think he feels guilty about something. Like he thinks you’re mad at him. He wouldn’t tell me why, though.”
Oh. That was unexpected.
“I’m not mad at him,” Sousuke said.
Gou picked up a basket of strawberries. “You might want to tell that to Rin. It’s just a suggestion. Anyway, I’ll take these ones.”
“Is he home right now? I can take a break and walk over with you.”
“Yeah,” Gou said, her face brightening. “He’s home. I’m really glad you’re not upset with him, Sousuke, he could use a friend right now.”
Gou paid for her berries, and Sousuke hung up his apron in the back of the shop. He yelled to his father that he was going on break, and trotted out the door after Gou. The Matsuokas’ house was a five-minute walk, but it felt like three years before they made it to the front step.
“Rin!” Gou called when they stepped in the door. “You have a visitor!”
“Tell them I’m not home,” Rin called back.
“I heard that,” Sousuke answered.
Sousuke heard something that was probably a string of curse words. A minute later, Rin appeared, dishevelled and still in his pyjamas. He was so beautiful.
“Sousuke,” Rin said. He looked apprehensive, like he didn’t know if Sousuke was going to hit him or not.
“Long time no see,” Sou replied. “Can we talk?”
“I didn’t think you wanted to.”
“Of course I do.”
Rin looked him over. “Did you come here from work?”
“Yeah, I have to be back in…” Sou looked at his watch. “Twenty-four minutes.”
“I’ll walk you back, let me change.” Rin disappeared back into his bedroom. Two minutes later, he came out wearing the same pair of sweatpants, with a hoodie and some sneakers thrown on. His bedhead was mostly hidden by a plain black baseball cap. “Let’s go.”
Sousuke led the way, taking a detour through a park so that they could talk in private. He stopped under a sakura tree and leaned against it, propping one knee up. “Gou said you were hiding from me.”
Rin swore. “I’m going to throttle her.”
“Don’t,” said Sousuke, “I’m glad she came by. I thought you were the one who didn’t want to talk to me.”
“Why the fuck would you think that? I was the one who rejected you, not the other way around.”
“I didn’t think that meant we would stop being friends,” Sousuke said.
“I didn’t mean it to.” Rin examined his shoes. “I just didn’t know if you wanted to see me.”
Sousuke couldn’t stay mad at Rin. Of course he would think that. Sou realized he’d been a bit of an idiot, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to apologize.
“Next time, if you don’t know whether I want to see you or not,” said Sou, “can you fucking ask me?”
Rin pressed his lips into a thin line. “I guess I deserved that. Yes, fine, I can ask.”
“Good. Glad we cleared that up. Now, can we please start hanging out again? I want to get to see you a little before you move back to the city, at least.”
Rin smiled at him. “Oh, thank god, you have no idea how crazy I am, not seeing you. Any of you,” he added, hastily. It was no confession of love, but Sousuke couldn’t help feeling a bit too happy, hearing that. He would take what he could get.
***
“How’s Rin doing? I don’t think I’ve seen him since the airport.” Makoto sipped his tea carefully, to avoid burning his lips. He and Sousuke had been meeting up over tea pretty regularly for the last year or so. Sou wasn’t sure exactly when he’d grown so close to Makoto, it had just sort of happened.
“He’s alright,” Sousuke said, a bit distantly. “He’s got some issues to sort through, right now, but he’ll be fine.”
“Is it because he’s not competing? I know Haru likes the time off from all of that competitive energy, but it must be hard for Rin, he lives for that kind of thing.”
“No, it’s not exactly that.” Sousuke gently swirled his own cup. “Anyway, I probably shouldn’t be the one to tell you. It’s Rin’s personal life, after all.” Not to mention that Rin would skin him alive if Haru ever found out. Makoto just nodded sagely.
“So how are you and Haru?” As much as Sousuke was trying to change the subject, he was also genuinely curious about their relationship. Makoto had seemed alright, with Haru gone, but he could tell that there was more spring in his step now that Haru was back again.
Makoto blushed. “You sure you want to talk about that?”
“Try me,” said Sousuke.
“Alright. It’s going really well, actually. Haru’s going to move back into his old apartment in Tokyo in a month, so we’ll get to see a lot of each other again after the fall semester starts. And once I finish college, we can move in together.”
“That was fast,” Sousuke drawled.
Makoto laughed sheepishly. “I suppose so. But I have known him forever, so I think I know what I’m getting myself into. I only worry about the water bill,” he said, joking.
“Oh lord, yeah, Haru takes like four baths a day, doesn’t he?”
“At least. What about you and Rin?”
“What about me and Rin.” Sousuke stared at the table, not meeting Makoto’s eyes.
“Nothing. Sorry, I guess I just assumed. I know how you feel about him.”
“You knew about that?” Sou looked up. He must have looked pretty intimidating just then, because Makoto lifted his hands in a gesture of innocence.
“Sorry! I, uh, I could tell. From the way you talk about him. But I haven’t told anyone, Sousuke, I swear.”
Sou let his shoulders drop. He hadn’t realized he was so tense. “S’okay, relax, I wasn’t trying to scare you.”
Makoto put his hands down. “Have you told him?”
“Yes.” His voice sounded gruff, more so than he expected. Damn it, Makoto could probably hear all of the emotion he was feeling.
“What happened?”
“I think…” Sou trailed off. What had happened, exactly? “I think he would want to start something with me, if he could. But he can’t.”
Makoto’s face was a mix of sad sympathy and confusion. “Why not?”
“Can’t tell you that.”
“Oh. Okay.” Makoto looked down at table. After a moment’s hesitation, he took Sousuke’s hand. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think he does care a lot about you, Sousuke. In his own way.”
Sousuke gave him a watery smile. “Thanks, Mako. You’re probably right.”
***
The last days of summer were the most beautiful of the year. Or so Rin had always thought. He was standing on the starting block at the Samezuka pool, being hit with waves of nostalgia. Everything was exactly as it had been in high school. He remembered the scent of sakura blossoms filling this room after nationals, when he’d covered the pool in petals for Haru.
Rin closed his eyes and breathed in the chlorine-tinged air. He’d been at an awful lot of pools in the past few years, but none of them smelled quite the same as the Samezuka pool. It was the most at home he’d felt in three weeks.
Oddly enough, the smell reminded him more than anything of Sousuke.
Rin dove in lazily, not bothering to line himself up for a perfect entry. He would have to do entries a million times once practices started again, he wanted to be sloppy while he still could. The water closed up behind him like a portal sealed. He loved the way the water suspended him, as if he were in mid-air. Swimming was a lot like flying, when you thought about it.
Rin surfaced, flipping his hair back over his head. He paddled through a few laps of backstroke, his weakest stroke. Not for speed, just to be able to breathe and watch the ceiling float by. The evening light poured through the windows, turning the room to gold and the pool to a brilliant green. Rin stopped to float in the middle of it, breathing deeply. He felt his body sink with every exhale, surfacing again as he drew more air into his lungs. It was exquisitely peaceful.
Something jarred the silence. Rin sat up in the water, kicking in egg-beater. It was the heavy steel door to the pool that had made the noise, Rin realized as it swung shut with a clunk. And there was Sousuke, armed with a water bottle and a granola bar.
“You eaten enough?” He didn’t have to shout, his voice carried easily across the giant room, echoing off the tiles.
“Yes, mother,” Rin replied drily.
“You don’t want it?” Sousuke sat down on the first starting block. “More for me then.”
Rin swam over and pulled himself out. Dangling his legs in the pool, he snatched the water bottle from Sousuke. “Thanks,” said Rin, uncapping it.
“No problem. How long you been here?”
“Only an hour.”
“You really shouldn’t be swimming unsupervised,” Sousuke said. “That’s how people drown.”
Rin gave him his best side-eyed glare. “You realize you’re talking to a world-class competitive swimmer, right.”
“People with Olympic medals are still just people.”
“Name one competitive swimmer who’s ever drowned.”
“You, if you don’t eat before you swim,” Sou shot back.
Rin rolled his eyes. “I have no idea why you assume I can’t take care of my own body.”
“I didn’t take care of mine,” said Sousuke. Rin went quiet. “I know you’re doing fine, but I want to make sure it stays that way. I worry about you sometimes.”
Rin took a swig of water. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“What, no snarky comeback?” Sousuke teased.
“Nah,” said Rin, “we were having a moment. I didn’t want to spoil the bromance.” Sousuke swiped at him, and Rin nearly fell in the pool.
“Hey! You made me spill my water!”
“Yeah. Into a swimming pool. Baby.”
“Assface.”
“Whoa, that escalated quickly.”
Rin glowered at him. “Don’t make me push you in.”
“I’d like to see you try,” said Sousuke with a mischievous grin.
“Oh, you wanna go? Challenge accepted.” But Rin didn’t move from where he was sitting.
“Giving up already?” Sousuke asked.
“Fuck no. I’m biding my time. Waiting for the best moment to strike.”
“You’re not going to win this, Rin,” Sousuke said, smirking. “I weigh as much as you and Haru put together.”
“Liar.”
“Maybe. But I have at least forty pounds on you, and I guarantee you, it’s all muscle.”
Rin threw up his hands. “Enough with the bragging, Sou, we get it.”
Sousuke laughed. He had a nice laugh, throaty and deep and warm. “So you gonna keep swimming or not?”
Rin examined his fingers. They looked kind of pruny. “Nah, I’m done for the day. Walk me home?”
“Sure,” said Sousuke. He stood up and stretched. Rin got up too, casually placing himself at a good angle. Then, he lunged. But Sou had seen it coming, and darted away just in time for Rin to overbalance and plunge into the deep end. He came up sputtering to see Sousuke wearing the widest, most triumphant grin he’d ever seen.
“Shut up,” said Rin, glowering.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Your face said it for you.”
Sousuke was barely containing his laughter. “You look like an angry, wet cat.”
“Oh, you are so dead.” Rin kicked over to the ladder and was out of the pool in seconds.
“No running on the deck!” Sousuke cried as he sprinted away. Rin, of course, with no regard for his own safety, sprinted after him.
***
Haru called Rin the night before they were supposed to fly back to Tokyo. He realized he hadn’t even talked to Haru in weeks.
“Yo,” Haru said, “you’re still coming back, right? You’ve kind of disappeared on us.”
“I’m coming back,” Rin said. “I’ve been busy.”
“Right,” Haru said. He didn’t sound convinced. “Mako’s parents are driving me to the airport, do you need a ride?”
“No, Sousuke can drive me.”
“Cool. Well, goodnight.”
“Night, Haru.” RIn hung up the phone. He felt… odd. That was surprisingly easy. He thought it would hurt more to hear Haru’s voice again, but he was strangely okay with it. Had something changed? Was he finally moving on? Rin fell asleep that night with a million thoughts in his head.
He woke up with only one.
***
Sousuke killed the engine. He’d been dreading this. He knew that even if Rin stayed, he still wouldn’t be interested in the kind of thing Sousuke wanted, but at least he was here.
“You okay, man?” Rin said, glancing at him from the passenger’s seat. Sousuke squared his shoulders.
“Yup, fine. Get your stuff out of the trunk, I have to go find the parking meter.”
“Roger.” Rin hopped out of the car. Sousuke squeezed the steering wheel. He didn’t know if he could make himself walk up to the gates and see Rin fly away. But he knew he would manage it somehow, because the alternative was to say goodbye even sooner.
Rin had seemed strangely quiet, the whole trip. Sousuke had caught him staring at him, whenever he glanced over, with this weird look on his face. Sou could only hope it meant that Rin was going to miss him. He was sure as hell going to miss Rin. Even if he got into college as soon as physically possible, it wouldn’t start until January. And then what? Would he have to watch as Rin got his heart broken over and over, every time Makoto came to visit?
“Oi, can I get some help over here?” Rin’s voice carried across the parking lot. Sou finished paying for his parking ticket and walked back over.
“What did you pack, rocks?” Sousuke muttered as he swung Rin’s duffle bag over his shoulder. He stuffed the ticket in his window and locked the car.
“Lead bricks, actually. Specially for you.”
“Thanks,” Sousuke replied, not at all thankful.
“Sou, before we go in and see everyone, I wanted to-”
“Rin-chan! Sou-chan! Over here!”
“Fuck,” Rin muttered under his breath. Nagisa ran over to them, Rei trailing behind him. Haru and Makoto were unloading Makoto’s mother’s van, with the help of the twins.
“Hurry up, Rin-chan! We need time to get those airport cinnamon rolls!” Nagisa tried to take hold of Rin’s suitcase, but Rin swatted him away.
“You’ll have plenty of time for that when we leave. You’re not going anywhere,” Rin growled. Nagisa pouted. He looked as if he were trying to make himself cry, but it wasn’t working.
Rei cut in. “Sorry, Rin-senpai. Nagisa-kun, I’ll buy you three of those rolls, just stop bothering people.”
Nagisa frowned. “I used to be able to cry on command. Where have all of my skills gone? What do I do now?”
“You learn real negotiation tactics,” said Rei, matter-of-factly. “In fact, I happen to be quite the negotiator myself. I can teach you everything I know, if you promise to use it only for good, and not for evil.”
Rin scoffed. “Do you honestly trust Nagisa not to use that for evil?”
“I promise, Rei-chan, I promise!” Nagisa said, giving Rei his best puppy-dog eyes. Rei, of course, couldn’t say no to that.
***
Sousuke and the others weren’t allowed past the security check, so they had to say goodbye before Rin and Haru went through. Sousuke had thought they had more time. Rin gave everyone a quick hug, then turned to Sousuke.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure,” said Sou. Of course. Talk to me forever. Don’t leave.
“Haru, watch my bag, will you?” Rin gave Haru his carry-on. Haru nodded, and turned back to Makoto. Rin led Sousuke by the hand into a quieter corner, away from the crowds of people waiting to go through the metal-detectors.
“You wanted to tell me something?” Sousuke said.
Rin stared up at him. They weren’t so different in height, but he did have to tilt his head back to look Sousuke in the eye. It was the little details like those that struck Sousuke the hardest. That, and the smooth skin of Rin’s neck that he would very much like to kiss. But now was not the time for that.
Rin opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. “This is probably literally the worst time to do this. God, I’m sorry Sou.”
“Do what?”
“I mean, I’m about to get on a fucking plane and we have what, like five minutes?”
“Rin. Do what?”
Rin didn’t answer. Well, not in words. Instead, he pulled Sousuke in and kissed him firmly, leaning up on his toes. Sousuke returned it with all of the love he had, pressing Rin into the wall. They stayed like that, locked together, barely breathing, for a full minute.
Sousuke broke away first. “You’re right,” he said, hoarseness creeping into his voice. “You do have the worst timing on the planet.”
“I said I was sorry!”
“You better be,” said Sousuke, bringing him back in for another kiss. He wondered if the others could see them. He didn’t care. This was everything he wanted, and if he only had five more minutes, he was going to make the best of it.
When they broke away again, Sousuke took a good look at Rin. His face was almost as red as his hair.
“So, what does this mean, then?”
Rin toyed with the neckline of Sousuke’s t-shirt. “This is me saying I love you. And also that I’m sorry I didn’t figure it out sooner.”
“Yeah,” Sousuke agreed, “you didn’t make it very convenient. Fuck, we don’t even have time to talk about this.”
“We will talk, I promise. I’ll skype you as soon as I can. And you can visit me, I’ll pay for your flights.”
“I guess I could take a week off work here and there,” Sousuke mused. “Dad won’t like it, but he can’t very well fire me.”
“Rin! We have to get going!”
“Just a fucking minute!” Rin called. He turned back to Sousuke.
“So you’re not…” Sousuke didn’t know how best to put this. “I mean, Haru…”
“No, I’m not. Not if I have you, Sousuke.”
Sousuke sighed happily into Rin’s shoulder, squeezing him into a hug.
“What?” Rin asked.
“It’s just…” Sou trailed off.
“It’s just what?”
Sousuke sighed again, and laughed. “You couldn’t have done this sooner?”