Chapter Text
It’s not good. Or bad.
Being a god, that is.
After so long, he should be bored, but he can’t feel a thing, so he’s not. He just is. Surrounded by the darkness and the stars, with a planet behind him.
Once blue. Bright. Full of life.
Now broken and dead. Destroyed by the people that lived on it.
Not that Sanji cares. He can’t care even if he wanted, and he doesn’t want anything now, and that’s how it has been for a very long time.
Sometimes he closes his eyes and he doesn’t open them for hours. Days. Centuries.
Thousands of thousands of years.
It doesn’t really matter, for him or for the universe. There’s nothing else to do than float in the void of space. He’s not even waiting for something to happen. He doesn’t expect it, and he doesn’t wish it to happen.
That’s what it means to be a god without feelings.
He remembers them, obviously, because he can’t forget them. But not because he wants to remember them.
It just doesn’t mean much if he remembers them or not, so he keeps the memories, because they can’t hurt him anyway.
Sanji has been alone for a very long time, and he knows how he became a god, how it changed nothing for him and the world.
Because he doesn’t care. If he was still the man he once was, he would become crazy, he knows, but he isn’t.
Small blessings, if he had any feelings left, but he doesn’t, so he doesn’t think that it’s important.
The only thing left in him he’s the certainty that it will ends one day. He can’t care less about the end, it’s like it doesn’t concern him, because when he will cease to exist, it’ll be exactly the same as if he does.
He will still not think, still not make a move, still not do something that matters in the universe.
Because a god without feelings doesn’t have a will, and nothing can happen without a will to push it through the darkness of the void, to create anything at all.
Sanji accepts this. That his life is nothing. It serves nothing. It won’t change anything, whether he’s here or not.
He’s still a god though. An immortal god lying down, or standing upright, in the void. He can’t die, not the way he knew it when he was still a mortal.
Maybe he’ll never cease to exist, but he has to wait to see if it’s true or not.
Until the end.
The end of time, space, or something else entirely, he doesn’t know.
He doesn’t care.
Because he’s a god without feelings who doesn’t want anything and doesn’t care for anything, not even about his own end.
So he closes his eyes, and he opens them, but nothing changes.
And then the darkness, cold and black, starts to shrink.
No, not shrink.
To be eaten.
Yes, that’s right. Something’s eating the void, the universe itself, and it’s closing in on him.
Sanji doesn’t care. He knows it’s the end for the universe. Maybe it’s not his end and even if it is, then that’s it.
The thing is, the universe that he has known for so long isn’t a friend to defend or a foe to beat. It just is.
Like Sanji himself.
He remembers finding the sky beautiful, when he had feelings still, but it was before he became a god, before he lost the capacity to feel, before the destruction of his birth place, so he has no memories about feeling something about the universe at all.
At first, when he was still trying to hang on his emotions, he guessed what he should have felt, but feelings don’t work that way. He can’t force himself to feel, and now he knows how pointless it is to even try.
So the universe isn’t beautiful, or frightening, or anything really. Yet, it is being eaten right now. And Sanji looks at it, slowly but surely disappearing before his eyes.
What’s eating it is unclear. It’s like it’s replaced by nothing, but nothing is already something, and it’s not the case here. It’s not like it ceases to exist either, because Sanji remembers how vast and large the universe really was before, and if he remembers, it means that the universe still exists.
The universe is small now. The sun is burning red, the planets are broken but still revolve around the growing star and Sanji looks at them and remembers.
He remembers a life with people, with blue skies, with the wind on his skin.
He remembers the sea, the salt, the pain of a bad fall.
He remembers that death always happens, to anyone, and that it is probably his time.
Even a god can die after all.
The universe is close to him, the thing that eats it taking away the planets one by one.
Even his destroyed birth place.
At some point, all it’s left is the sun and Sanji on its center. He stays inside, feeling the burning heat on his skin, so different from the cold of the void. He sees the red magma instead of the black darkness.
It won’t be long now.
He doesn’t regret. He doesn’t feel. He doesn’t.
Yet, when he finally grasps what’s eating the universe, he realizes that’s not how it’s supposed to be. It’s not supposed to be the end of the universe. Not like that. Not ever.
Not like he cares. He wasn’t supposed to be a god in the first place, and he never cared about it, so what does it matter that the universe is dying and it’s not supposed to happen?
What does it matter if he can do something about it?
The sun is buzzing around him, being eaten as slowly as the rest of the universe, but it’s just a star so it’s not going to last long.
The sun. He was supposed to be the god instead of Sanji. Not that ball of burning magma that can only shine in the darkness of the void, but the man. Nika. Joy Boy. Other names he doesn’t know.
Sanji knew him as Monkey D. Luffy.
A mortal god that comes back again and again to brighten the darkness of the world in the sky and in the heart of the people.
But Sanji took his place, and now the universe is dying. It’s the universe that calls Sanji to stop this madness, asking for help to restore the balance, to show him what should be, again and again.
It’s never been like that before. The universe is usually silent. Cold. Dark.
Not sentient like now.
Sanji looks and listens, watches the universe crying when the surface of the sun disappears.
He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t feel and doesn’t care, and not knowing or understanding something doesn’t bother him. He can’t be bothered anymore after all. He can’t be curious either.
Yet, Sanji is a god, and he gained something as such.
Not immortality. That’s something else, another story from another time.
He gained a duty. But emotionless as he is, he never cared about it.
Until now.
Because the universe isn’t supposed to die today. The thing that’s eating it isn’t supposed to exist. And if Sanji lets it happen, he knows that the destroyed balance will destroy more than the universe. More than himself.
More.
It’s neither good or bad, he supposes, but if he has to make a choice, as a god, as a living immortal being, he has to do something.
It’s too late to protect the universe. It can’t restore itself even if Sanji stops the non-entity right now. It’s over.
But it’s the moment when the universe is only made of Sanji alone that everything becomes clear.
Sanji just needs to go back.
He just needs to change the past and make sure that Monkey D. Luffy takes his rightful place.
Sanji doesn’t care about his own place in the universe after all. God, or human, or nothing, it’s the same for him.
So he can do it. And because the universe wants Luffy back, Sanji can’t really stop it to use him for this purpose.
Time to go back then, but not too far. The universe gives him the will, he has the power, and there’s always tricky limits.
He doesn’t mind, he’ll make do with what he has and when all is left of himself is his own thoughts, he goes back.
-
Sanji is back and he is in the middle of a kick, so he doesn’t stop, and he kills the man in front of him.
He looks around him while the body falls, the three katana clatter on the ground, and for the first time since a very long time, he breathes air. He puts his feet on a solid ground, even though it’s shaking, and it should be surprising to be able to touch and see something else after all this time, but Sanji doesn’t feel a thing.
He's still a god without feelings. He just has a purpose now.
There’s a meteor in the sky that someone is trying to deviate from its trajectory, and Sanji remembers this moment.
That’s the moment just before he became a god.
The man who punches the meteor screams, his skin burning against the heat, but it’s enough to change the meteor’s course.
It’s not enough to save the universe though.
Because the man who’s risking his life right now is Monkey D. Luffy, and after this, he’s not strong enough to overcome the next challenges thrown his way.
This is the turning point in History, the moment the sun burns his wings and falls to never get up ever again, letting a god like Sanji takes his place.
But that’s not what’s going to happen, not if Sanji can help it.
It’s too late to stop Monkey D. Luffy so Sanji watches. He plans his next steps. And he goes back.
-
He doesn’t plan to kick the man in front of him to the death again but he does it anyway. It’s a good swing, and he doesn’t care if the man dies, so he’s not going to stop himself. He then turns around, jumps in the sky and tries to stop Monkey D. Luffy, but the man is stubborn, and he doesn’t want Sanji in his way, so he punches him before punching the meteor.
He goes back again.
This time, he looks at the man’s face when he kicks him, and he finally recognizes him.
It’s Roronoa Zoro.
Maybe he shouldn’t kill him, but it’s too late already, so he turns around, jumps, avoids the first punch of Monkey D. Luffy, then the kick, but they are both hit by the meteor and it hurts his skin, recognizing the feeling the hard way.
He has to go back again, but clearly trying to get to the meteor first isn’t going to be easy with Monkey D. Luffy in the way. Sanji doesn’t really understand why the man bothers to get him out of the way like that, as if he could save him.
It’s not like Sanji can die, but the man doesn’t know that.
He goes back and this time, he slows down his kick, letting Roronoa Zoro off the hook. He’s someone Monkey D. Luffy trusts, that Sanji trusted before, so maybe he can help.
He’s no help however because the next thing he does is to plunge his sword in Sanji’s chest. It’s a painful feeling that Sanji is experiencing once again, but it doesn’t help him. He grabs the sword, noticing that it doesn’t cut his skin this time, and stops Roronoa Zoro’s movements.
He doesn’t have time to talk with him to convince him to follow his lead because Monkey D. Luffy is already screaming and punching the meteor.
Sanji needs to be faster.
So he goes back, slows down his kick, avoids the sword in his chest, but Roronoa Zoro is relentless. He doesn’t stop. He’s badly hurt and barely conscious, but he’s still charging forward to strike a blow at Sanji.
And Sanji’s watching this, detached, calculating. He goes back a few times with the same goal and he knows that if he had feelings, he would already have started to feel angry and frustrated that it’s not working.
But Sanji can’t feel, he doesn’t care how long it’s going to take until he succeeds, so he continues and tries again and again.
The thing is, Roronoa Zoro doesn’t want to cut his hands. That’s the only part of Sanji’s body he’s not allowing himself to hurt, and Sanji remembers how important his hands were for him before. It isn’t now, and that’s why he catches the blade with his bare hands once more.
“Roronoa Zoro, listen to me.”
The blade stills and the man looks him in his eyes. It’s not the first time Sanji tries this, and it’s his last attempt because time is at the essence and if he can’t convince him fast enough, Monkey D. Luffy is doomed.
“Stop Monkey D. Luffy.”
Sanji lets go of the blade and for once, Roronoa Zoro doesn’t attack him. He thinks that’s it, he finally can stop the meteor by himself, so he turns around, jumps, and sees the cutting winds from the swordsman’s blades directed at Monkey D. Luffy to block his path, but the meteor is already very low, and when Sanji’s leg connects with it, they still crash on the ground hard.
The meteor is slowed down but that’s not enough, he’s not fast enough, and that’s why Sanji decides to not try to convince Roronoa Zoro anymore to help him.
So he goes back, stops his kick before hitting the man, turns around and jumps. He’s stopped by three cutting wind blades and he sees Monkey D. Luffy screams before punching the meteor while he falls.
He goes back, stops his kick, turns around and jumps. He avoids the first attack, but not the second one and it’s even worse because he’s sent towards Monkey D. Luffy and the man catches him instead of punching the meteor.
Sanji has to make a decision. He can’t go back and kill Roronoa Zoro because then Monkey D. Luffy will stop him, but if he doesn’t, the swordsman is going to be a hindrance in his place.
So he goes back, kicks Roronoa Zoro’s head lightly to not kill him, grabs the man’s shoulder before turning around and jumping in the air. Monkey D. Luffy sees them but before he can do anything, Sanji throws a barely conscious Roronoa Zoro towards him, making them crash away from here, and now Sanji has enough time without any obstacle to stop him.
His kick connects, high enough to deviate the trajectory of the meteor and slow it down. It hurts and Sanji ignores the pain, unbothered by that fact. He has one goal, it’s to deflect the meteor to the side and throw it back to the void of the space.
It’s easy. He’s a god after all, so he pushes the rock and he feels it crumbling a little through the sheer force of his kick, the heat inhumanly hot. He ignores it. He ignores everything except the meteor, and he’s only letting go when he’s sure that it’s leaving the planet and goes away forever.
Sanji looks at the void, at the familiar darkness with its stars, the sun and its brightness, and he lets himself fall, closing his eyes.
He feels the first lock closing and he knows what to do next.
It’s not over yet. He still has a lot to do. He has time but there’s no need to stay here anymore.
So he goes back.
-
He’s in the middle of a kick again and doesn’t stop it. He can go back as many times as he needs to, so the first thing he does is to let things play out like before to know exactly what needs to be changed.
There’s a loud noise of crunching metal, a jet of hot steam escaping the engine followed by a scream of pain. Something in him clenches in his chest, quick and already gone the time he notices it, so he ignores it. He looks at the screaming woman on the ground, and he can see the already blistered skin of her hand and arm, the rest of her side hidden behind long pants but probably painfully burned too.
He recognizes her immediately and remembers exactly what went wrong this time. It was a time when he was still struggling with his new emotionless state, when all was left was rage and the thrill of fighting. He had kicked the engine of the Sunny, putting the crew at risk and making it hard to escape the island after the meteor fell.
It’s before they know that a meteor is going to fall and before they reach the island where it’s about to fall. Sanji is back before the meteor, because even as a god, time travel has its limits, and he can’t go back very far at once. He needs to lock important events first to ensure that Monkey D. Luffy becomes a god before being able to go back further back.
Right now, all he’s doing is watching Nami screaming while the engine is broken beyond repairs. This one should be easy to fix. So he goes back.
When he’s in the middle of his kick, he changes his course and kicks Nami instead.
She’s on the ground, unmoving. Silent. Sanji goes to check her pulse. There’s none. Something in him clenches in his chest but he ignores it.
Nami is important to reach the island so he can’t let her die now.
So he goes back, changes the course of his kick and stops it a few millimeters from her face. She’s frozen in place, looking at him like she can’t believe it, but she’s not afraid, somehow.
Something in him clenches in his chest and he ignores it. He also feels the second lock closing and knows that his work here is over.
He lowers his leg under the woman’s piercing eyes and nods at her, something that is supposed to reassure her but he’s not sure.
Then he goes back.
-
This time, he’s not kicking anything. He’s on the ground, sitting painfully while the dust is settling down.
Sanji is not bothered by it. He can’t see very well but he can use his Haki to know who is close to him right now. He keeps his mouth shut to not breathe the filthy air and notices two things.
His chest hurts, probably because it’s twisted in a weird inhuman way so he takes the time to punch it back to normal.
And there’s someone with killing intents not far from him. But it’s not directed at him so he doesn’t really care. He also notes that the doctor of the crew is on his left and not moving.
He’s still not moving when the man with killing intents goes for the kill, and Tony Tony Chopper dies, a sword in his chest.
Sanji remembers this. He was losing his feelings, but he still had some, making him unpredictable for everyone, himself included.
It’s not like Sanji knows what it feels anymore, but there’s a bubbling ball in his chest, remote, and it’s probably the soft version of what he felt at that moment.
It’s easy to ignore. Especially because he remembers that the death of the doctor wasn’t supposed to happen in front of him, with or without feelings. He was just too conflicted with himself to act fast enough, but now it isn’t a problem for Sanji anymore.
He still notices that he’s going back to moments when he’s the less emotional, as if being an emotionless god prevents him to jump in a body full of emotions.
It’s really not important right now, so he goes back. He dives in front of Tony Tony Chopper and takes the sword in his chest, noticing that his skin isn’t as hard as it should be.
So it’s not only the remote feelings in his chest that’s different, he’s starting to have his weak body back too. Without a doubt, he knows he can succeed so he goes back again.
This time, he dives to protect the little reindeer and grabs the sword with his right hand. The blade goes through it but is stopped by his strong grip.
“Sanji! Your hand!”
Tony Tony Chopper is conscious after all and seems… upset? Yes, that’s the word.
The doctor is alive, but the lock isn’t closing, so it’s not it. He sees the red blood falling on the ground, remembering that Roronoa Zoro didn’t cut this part of his body when they fought, so he concludes that’s probably what’s keeping him to reach his goal.
He goes back, dives to save the little reindeer by scooping him in his arms but he’s slower than he expects and the sword goes through his chest, and right to the doctor’s heart.
“San…ji…”
He looks at the watery eyes of the reindeer and his chest hurt again, but differently. It’s something from within him, but it’s no use because he’s going back, so he doesn’t wait any longer to understand what’s happening to him.
When he goes back, he dives to put himself between Chopper and his killer, managing to deviate the blade with his leg because he knows exactly how the man attacks them. The sword still buries itself in his shoulder, but it’s not lethal, and he can still kick the man. He ignores the pain, something that he remembers doing a lot in the past, and crushes the skull with a powerful kick.
Not as powerful as he’s used to, but it works, and he waits for the lock to close.
It doesn’t.
And now he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do.
“Sanji! You’re hurt!”
The doctor stands up despite his own injuries and skillfully treats him, only relieved when Sanji’s shoulder is correctly bandaged.
Sanji is looking at him because he has nothing else to do, and his silence is obviously putting Tony Tony Chopper on edge, but Sanji has nothing to say to him so he keeps his mouth shut. He looks around him too, breathes the dusty air, listening to the world he once lost.
He has no idea what he is supposed to do. He did what needed to be done, saving the doctor, but it’s obviously not the only thing he needs to do.
“Are you feeling okay?”
Sanji assesses his injuries, but nothing is life threatening so he nods. It doesn’t seem to reassure the doctor.
“Are you sure? You’re… very quiet.”
Sanji doesn’t know what he really wants from him, not knowing what exactly is troubling the little reindeer, so he shrugs.
He needs to think so he ignores Tony Tony Chopper and looks at the man he killed. He takes the sword, hearing a gasp from the reindeer behind him, and examines the blade.
He recognizes it. It’s a blade that killed many people, not just Tony Tony Chopper. It killed Trafalgar D. Water Law too. And it finally clicks.
He needs to save Trafalgar D. Water Law. But he’s already dead right now. He died in front of Sanji, when all was supposed to be lost until he gave everyone a chance.
Until he gave Sanji his immortality.
Sanji isn’t a doctor, so right now, even if he goes back, he is pretty sure that he can’t save the man.
He turns around, looking at Chopper with the blade still in his hand.
He has an idea.
“Tony Tony Chopper. Teach me how to save Trafalgar D. Water Law.”
“Torao?” He says with a small voice.
Worried, he recognizes.
“Yes.”
“But Sanji… He’s… dead.”
“Yes. That’s why I’m asking you. If you could save him, how would you do it?”
The little reindeer seems lost and afraid by his request, but as much as Sanji wants to be patient, he feels the bubbling ball burning in his chest, and he doesn’t like it. It’s foreign and it bothers him.
It bothers him.
“Oh. My feelings are coming back.” He says out loud, ignoring the way Chopper looks at him with hope.
Still, he has to ignore it. He has to learn how to save the life of the man who gave him his immortality. He doesn’t really know why right now, but he’s sure that what the universe wants is important for the future.
He throws away the blade that clatters on the ground and looks at the reindeer, waiting.
“Sanji, you should… sit? You’re acting strange.”
“Of course I’m acting strange.” Sanji sits as asked to reassure him. “I’m not even sure myself why I need to know how to save Trafalgar D. Water Law, but it’s important. Can you help me?”
Chopper looks at him like he’s crazy, and it makes the corner of his lips go up, like a smile.
He’s actually smiling!
He forgot the feeling for so long that he can’t believe it at first, so he touches his face, and right there, there’s a smile!
Clearly, going back in the past in bodies when he still had feelings makes him feel again, even if it’s very light.
That’s probably why he can recognize Chopper’s expressions better, and right now he seems to have calmed down.
So, a smile can reassure him. Good to know.
The time he’s spending to learn how to stitch muscles and skin, stop an internal bleeding, how to cut with a scalpel and check the vitals when there’s not a lot of tools at his disposal is a very long journey that even with only a few remaining feelings, it’s testing his patience and his sanity. He has to go back several times only because he can’t learn everything at once, and every time he has to save Chopper again, he can’t help it but make sure that the doctor doesn’t worry too much about him.
When he finally learns everything that he needs to know, the lock doesn’t close and it’s because he has to go back one more time.
In a world where Trafalgar D. Water Law never died in the first place.
The last time he saves Chopper’s life, erasing the doctor’s memory about Sanji’s new set of skills, he ignores the fact that it’s also to hide his strange behavior from Chopper to not worry him more than he already is.
He knows he’s changing. He’s not the same emotionless god than when he started to go back in time. It’s still weak, but he can feel, and he doesn’t mind this new him.
He gives Chopper a smile, a real one, reassuring the reindeer in his arms, and he goes back.
-
He opens his eyes in the middle of a battlefield, and he looks around him. Contrary to the other times, he doesn’t want to let anything play out without doing nothing and he notices Law walking awkwardly until he stumbles and falls on the ground.
“Torao!”
Sanji runs towards him and when he’s close enough, he sees the blood pouring out from his body.
He’s badly hurt, and without Chopper around, Law doesn’t have a long time left, but Sanji knows more now than he did the first time.
“Black Leg-ya…”
Law spits blood, and Sanji is already trying to get him on his back and put his clothes off to see what needs to be done.
Law bats at his hands weakly, glaring at him.
“What are you doing?! It’s no use!”
His breath is shallow and Sanji is pretty sure that the man is still conscious just to be a pain in his ass.
“I know what I’m doing.” He says to reassure him but Law isn’t convinced.
“Stop this! We don’t have time! You need to-“
He’s cut by a bad cough, bloody and probably very painful, and Sanji tries to help him to breathe by elevating his chest against a rock.
He remembers then, why of all people, Law had given him immortality. Sanji needed it to survive the blast of the bomb, a bomb meant to destroy everything from miles around, a bomb he needed to carry away from here, in the sky, but in doing so, Law dies.
He dies, and Sanji becomes immortal, and everything from there twists Luffy’s fate, making it impossible for him to become the true god that the world needs.
That the universe wants.
That Sanji would love to worship.
He believes in his captain, more than anything else, and it’s only because he lost his emotions that he forgot how important Luffy is for him. But that’s not the case anymore, and he knows how to fix this, to fix everything.
He can save Law. But he also needs to stop a bomb and he can’t be in two places at the same time. He’s not fast enough to perform a difficult surgery, his first surgery ever in fact, and grab the bomb to fly away with it and save everyone else.
He’s not even sure if it’s reasonable to die now, in the past, before everything he’s supposed to do next. He’s pretty sure the universe won’t allow it, so he needs to find a solution, and fast.
“I found the control panel!” He hears Robin’s voice through the mini Den Den Mushi in the pocket of his jacket.
That’s right! There’s still a way to stop the bomb!
“Robin-chan! I’m so glad to hear from you!”
And he really is, and not just because she gave him a new chance to save everybody’s life.
He starts to think how to proceed, and the first thing he needs now is information.
“What do you need to do to stop the bomb?” He asks her and she’s quick to answer.
“I got the keys with Nami but we need a password.”
“A password, got it!”
Sanji isn’t forgetting about Law, but he has to accept the fact that this is probably not the only time he’ll have to operate him here, on the middle of the battlefield.
He might die, and not only because of the bomb but because he is Sanji’s first patient after all, but it’s not going to stop him to try his best anyway.
“What kind of password?”
He takes the sword of Law out of the way, with difficulty, because the man doesn’t want to let go, but when he sees that it’s only Sanji, he groans and loosens his grip. Sanji opens his bag next to him to see if there’s something useful in here, and he’s really glad that Law is very meticulous as a doctor.
“Numbers. 12 numbers, 3 sets of 4. But all the scientists are gone and we don’t have enough time to look for them. I think we should just leave.” Nami suggests, and Sanji is so glad that she’s alright.
He can’t believe that he hurt her, that he… he killed her. He has let his crew down more than once, he has let the world and the universe down too, and nothing he can do will ever make it up for his past decisions. For his lack of decisions in fact, thanks to his emotionless state.
Feelings aren’t all that great sometimes, because right now Sanji is eating by guilt, but he can’t allow himself to ignore them anymore. He has to accept them and make sure that he’ll never hurt his nakama ever again.
“Black-leg-ya…”
Law is trying to talk, and Sanji knows already what he’s about to say, so he stops him immediately.
“No. I don’t want your immortality anymore.”
Law frowns, but the urgency seems to be more important than his suspicious sudden knowledge of his awaken Devil Fruit.
“You can carry the…”
“Save it!”
“I’m dead already but if there’s a chance-“
“You’re not dead yet!”
Sanji forces him to look him in his eyes.
“I’m going to save your sorry ass so stop spouting nonsenses.”
“Sanji-kun? We need to leave right now before this thing blows up!”
Sanji takes a deep breath, knowing what he’s about to say to Nami and Robin, knowing that, like with Chopper, he needs to take advantage of the extra time only he has.
“No, I know the password.”
He’s lying, and he’s not proud of it, but it’s the only way to save everyone.
“Really? How?”
Sanji thinks about a possible explanation, but time travel isn’t going to work. It’s not like no one would believe him, it’s more like he’s pretty sure he shouldn’t talk about it so carelessly.
Because if for him, he’s traveling through time, for the world, everything is happening in order, without a way to reverse anything. The setbacks and the successes happen because of their own choices, and only Sanji knows that he’s paving the fate that he wants to see, pushing the choices into their hands to go where they have to go.
That’s why he can’t tell the truth, and he still lacks feelings enough to pull this off with confidence.
“Just trust me.”
There’s a silence but it doesn’t last long.
“Alright. Tell us.”
“Robin-chan, remember the book I gave you?”
“You mean… the one you told me to memorize because it could be useful?”
“Exactly!”
Sanji has no idea what she’s talking about but it’s normal. This is something Robin already knows only because it’s something he’s going to do, after saving everyone. Now, he just needs to know what he’s going to write inside.
“Tell me the password while you’re entering it.”
She doesn’t seem to hesitate and immediately answer.
“1234-“
There’s a scritch and the Den Den Mushi closes his eyes. Before he can understand where the bright light is coming from, he dies.
Fortunately for him, dying means going back, and he’s back in the battlefield with Law stumbling not far away from him.
“Damn. It’s going to take a while.” He whispers for himself.
Yet, he sets himself on this path and he’s going to follow through until it’ll work.
-
“5894… 7102…”
No explosion so far, and Sanji is so used to the scalpel in his hand that he’s starting to think that he would have been a great doctor if he didn’t love to cook so much. Law passes out before he starts to talk with Nami and Robin now, Sanji in a hurry to save his life as much as saving everyone else.
He’s faster, knowing exactly what to do, what to expect, and he’s pretty sure that he’s as fast as Chopper or Law now, but only for this surgery in particular. He knows what he’s doing, but the number of times he had to try, sometimes failing even before Robin’s voice says the wrong numbers, are so many to count that he’s glad that he can have a redo every time the password fails.
He’s never been so close to save him, but it’s the first time he gets to this part, and he curses when Law’s heart stops.
“1-“
He goes back before the light of the explosion blinds him and he starts again.
-
“5894… 7102… 8863… It works!”
Robin and Nami’s happy voices are in the background and Sanji is glad for them, really, but now if Law could stay alive, he would really appreciate it. He’s covered in blood, something that doesn’t even bother him anymore and it’s not the lack of emotions this time, only the repetitive task that makes him numb to it.
“Sanji! Thank God you’re here!” He hears Usopp calling him for the nth times, not even smirking at the irony anymore.
He’s still a god, and he’s been here for a long time, but Usopp doesn’t know it, and each time he waits for his scream when he sees him with his hands inside Law’s body.
“Wh-what are you doing to him?!”
Sanji doesn’t sigh, he doesn’t acknowledge his nakama because that’s how he lost Law once and he’s not going to make the mistake twice, and the next part is tricky so he ignores him.
It works because Usopp isn’t saying anything to him anymore, calling for Chopper through his own Den Den Mushi, but Sanji is almost done. He closes the last of the stitches, and now, it’s up to Law.
“Haha! I did it!” He can help but shout, happy, showing his bloody hands to a Usopp very disturbed by the sight.
No explosion, a Law between life and death but closer to life than in any other of his attempts, and Sanji feels the lock closing, at last.
“Well, time to leave!” He says out loud, not even caring if it is weird from his nakama’s point of view.
He barely hears Usopp talking to him that he closes his eyes and goes back.
-
When he opens them, he is on the Sunny. The sun is setting. The sea and the sky are the same warm orange, blending themselves with each other, and it’s beautiful.
Sanji knows that he’s feeling everything right now, and he loves it. It’s strong, and warm, and everything he was missing all this time. This is his body before everything goes to shit and he’s not sure what to think about his own future.
He feels his powers as god becoming weak so it’s probably the last lock. It’s the last thing he needs to do to ensure that Luffy becomes the sun of this world, the mortal god of freedom. It’s also the world where Chopper, Zoro and Law live, where Nami isn’t burned, where the Sunny will sail for many many years afterwards.
He’s not sure what’s going to happen to him, after. Maybe he’ll go back to the first lock, because he changed his future as god at that moment, but he doesn’t know if he survives his collusion with the meteor. But even if he doesn’t, he’s not going to regret his choice. It’s better to die to protect Luffy, his nakama, the world and the universe than live forever without any feelings until the end of time.
He remembers the void, its darkness illuminated by the stars, and now he finds it beautiful. The universe is beautiful. And it deserves to exist long after he’s gone.
He lights a cigarette, something so common that he didn’t have the need for it for a very very long time so he’s going to savor it.
After that, he goes to the library and picks up his favorite book. He scribbles inside it, first the password, but he can’t help it and leaves other clues about the future. Things he knows that could help them to protect each other, or that he learned when he was still a powerful god. He’s sure that Robin will love it, she loves riddles after all, and this one explains the universe itself.
Plus, he would love it if someone could know the universe like he does.
He knows it’s not fair to her because only a god can understand everything, but he’s confident that it’s not going to stop her to find the truth.
He goes to the deck where she is, reading another book with the last light of the day.
“Robin-chan.” He smiles at her and waits for her to look at him before handing All Blue.
“What is it?” She asks, intrigued, taking the book while still looking at him.
“Something you should memorize. It’ll be useful for later.”
His crypted words makes her look at the book at last and Sanji walks towards the railing with a smile on his face.
He feels the lock closing and he knows he has to leave. He wants to linger a little more, maybe see all his nakama one last time, but he knows it’s not what he’s supposed to do.
So he lets himself go, jumping in the water, and the last thing he feels is the cold salted water on his skin, happy.