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He was late. Bloody hell, he was later than he’d ever been. McGongall had already been on his arse about this and he’d bloody overslept again. He was in for it this time.
What a great start to his day. At least he’d get to class and see his friends - that always made his late start days a bit easier. Which…most days were his late start days. That was beside the point.
So he sprinted through the halls, dodging between first years as he ignored Filch calling out for him to slow down. He’d made it to class only…fifteen minutes late. Ron stumbled into the room with a hasty wave at the professor before he slid into his seat near the back next to Harry.
His best friend leaned over, snickering at him. “You’re in massive trouble, mate.” Ron held back his groan but only because he had already known that. “But if it weren’t for Hermione being absent, McGongall would have ripped you a harder one already.”
Ron paused while putting his book on the desk and someone hushed Harry. Ron gave the kid a stink eye and returned back to Harry, “Hermione’s absent? You’re bonkers.”
“No,” Harry whispered back, shaking his head. “It’s quite-“
“Boys!” McGongall cleared her throat as she stood beside them. “You’re meant to be reading - perhaps you two would rather read it during lunch instead?”
Harry shook his head and Ron looked down at his book. They both were silent and the professor let out a small ‘hmph’ before she walked towards her desk.
Ron focused on the words for approximately twenty seconds before the curiosity got to him. He elbowed Harry, “Where is she?”
Harry elbowed him back, “Hell if I know. ”
Then, as if of cue, the door opened and Ron turned to see Hermione suck in a breath as she stepped inside. “I’m so sorry, professor!”
McGonagall gave her a tight smile, “Good to see the whole trio made it to class. You’re excused this time, Miss Granger.”
Ron watched Hermione give a grateful nod and sad smile before she took her regular seat on the other side of Harry - the only one of the trio who had been on time. “Morning, sunshine.” Ron teased Hermione across the front of Harry and he snickered along.
“Weasley,” McGongall scolded. “Detention.”
Damn.
Ron’s luck seemed quite dry that day. Not long after he’d woken up late, then received detention, he had just spilled baked potato soup all over his lap. Ron had groaned, then seethed as the hot soup burned at his crotch. “Bloody hell!” He gasped, dropping the bowl on the ground which shattered.
The entire great hall turned to watch as Ron hopped up, dabbing at his groin with a cloth as he hissed in pain. If he wasn’t much too worried about burning his dick off, he’d be turning pink with embarrassment.
Harry and Hermione were laughing while trying to console him and Ron had simply made quite a fool of himself. As he finally felt that he had survived the worst of it, he looked around at his audience, seeing tens of pairs of eyes lit up with amusement (including Draco Malfoy’s, which was the worst of it all.)
He thought he’d be better off just hiding away from the world for the day but that was not even an option. He’d missed far too many days of school playing hookie all year that he couldn’t afford skipping any more classes. So, Ron reluctantly followed his friends to Potions class.
He could sit back, kick his feet up and hopefully not create any more disaster for himself. Ron had felt quite sure about that until he quickly realized that it was test day and he’d completely forgotten to study - whatsoever.
The test was…something he absolutely should have prepared for. Ron felt the most dumb he’d ever felt - looking terrifiedly lost across the parchment. He had absolutely no clue, not even one answer to the test. Next to him, Hermione was scribbling away.
Ron had simply wanted to bang his head on the table in fury, or sorrow, or stupidity but he just dipped his quill in ink and began his favorite guessing game.
And he knew he absolutely failed that test.
He’d gotten himself into detention, but the only good part of his day was that it happened to fall on Hagrid’s detention duty and Ron was very confident that Hagrid wouldn’t even show up. He was prone to forgetting - and every student knew that Hargid’s detention hours were the best of them to get.
Ron pushed open the door to the detention room and immediately stopped when he saw Hermione. “‘Mione?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing. “You know this is detention, right?”
Hermione looked up at him embarrassed, nodding. “Unfortunately, I scored myself a ticket.”
Ron kept from gaping openly, but he was insanely surprised to see her in the same room that he often found delinquents. Delinquents like-
“Evening, golden duo.”
Like Draco Malfoy.
Ron turned and saw Malfoy swagger in, a dopey smirk across his face. Ron stiffened, crossing his arms. “Not surprised to see you here, Malfoy.”
But Malfoy snickered, rolling his jaw. “You’re one to talk, Weaselbee. Just a surprise to see the brains attending tonight's meeting.”
Hermione didn’t even turn to look at Draco as she fidgeted with her fingers in her lap. Ron found it adorable and puffed his chest - to protect. “She doesn’t have to explain herself to you.”
Malfoy’s grin was sickening and Ron swallowed a small gulp. He let out a sinister laugh, “Right. I don’t suppose she does. I’m sure she’s told you all about it, then?”
“No.” Ron shook his head. “But she doesn’t need to tell me, either.”
It was silent between the three of them while Malfoy nodded, his smirk making Ron feel like shying away. But he witheld, keeping a strong exterior.
“Ron, please. Just sit, we can ignore him.” Hermione finally spoke and both Ron and Malfoy’s eyes shot to her. She glanced up at Ron quickly before looking away, not at Malfoy.
Ron nodded, “Sure.” And glanced back at Malfoy. “Just sit over there. I wouldn’t want your delinquent ways to rub off on Hermione.”
Malfoy laughed in his face then, one loud guffaw before he nodded. His eyes were dark on Ron and he took a slow breath in. “Alright, Weasley. But when you find out what Granger’s in here for, come let me know, why don’t you?”
Ron felt himself sneer, his eye twitching in annoyance as Malfoy turned on his heels and headed for a desk in the very back.The complete opposite of how Hermione had chosen a front row desk.
“I won’t tell him.” Ron shook his head to Hermione. She avoid his eyes, nodding. “I’m actually quite proud of you for earning this.”
“Earning?” She asked, snickering. “It’s a punishment, not an award.”
Ron shrugged, taking a seat in the desk next to her.
The door opened again and Ron expected another student to show up but he was surprised to see Hagrid squeeze through the door sheepishly. “-ello!” He waved to them and Ron held up a hand to wave back.
“Nice to see you made it.” Ron teased and Hagrid laughed boisterously as he walked to the desk, picking up the attendance parchment. “Ahh, just the three’s of ya then?”
Ron had no idea so he just shrugged along with Hermione who stayed silent. Hagrid squinted, reading the print and glanced up, eyeing them. “Funny,” he mumbled with a laugh escaping his lips. “I shouldn’t have read that.”
He was interested then, in what Hagrid would have read that he shouldn’t have. It was just the attendance sheet, yes? He eyed Hagrid as he laughed again, shaking his head. “Even mixed you’s up - silly mistake.”
And Ron had never been more confused, but Hagrid folded the parchment up before he dropped it back onto the desk. He turned to them, smiling a big, goofy smile.
“Moving on- forgetting.” He let out an awkward clear of his throat. “Well, I’ve got some reserchin’ to do. Yous can mind yer own, I suppose.” Then, Hagrid turned to Ron with a happy nod. “I’ll just check on you’s every so often. Best behaviors, I expect. You know-“ he gave a wink to him and Ron furrowed his eyebrows a a bit. “Hands to yerself, and all.”
Ron was flabbergasted that Hagrid would insinuate anything at all and then the teacher had begun his way out, mumbling that he’d be back soon. Ron looked over at Hermione and her face was pink, surely flustered about Hagrid’s comment.
He took another glance over his shoulder and looked at Malfoy who wore the same stupid, pleased smirk. The jerk’s eyes met Ron’s and he rose his eyebrows quickly, threateningly and Ron spun to face the front again.
“I dare one of you nitwits to read the note.” Draco Malfoy said from the back of the classroom twenty minutes into silence.
Ron snickered and Hermione immediately snapped, “No. ”
That, however, caught Ron’s attention. “Does it say why you're in here?” He asked his friend and Hermione avoided his eye again. It totally did, he realized then.
He needed to respect her privacy. That’s what Harry would do. Harry would never listen to Malfoy-
“It says what I did to deserve a time out, too.” Malfoy called. Ron couldn’t care less about why Malfoy was in detention. So he ignored that comment and watched Hermione.
She glanced at him, “Seriously, Ron. I don’t want it read- it’s silly, stupid even.”
Ron was so insanely torn between his desperate curiosity and his morals. “We can all share why we’re here. Come on, ‘Mione, we could make it a game!”
“I don’t enjoy games, Ronald-“ Hermione tried to protest but Malfoy spoke back up from his seat, interrupting.
“-I’ll play your game, Weasley.” But Ron didn’t want to play with him, so he ignored Malfoy once more. His stare was pleading with Hermione. He wanted to know, he needed to know.
“It honestly could not be that bad,” Ron argued with her. “You consider turning in your homework a day late as detention worthy.”
Ron heard Malfoy snicker and he was getting sick and tired of the git already. He had still had another hour of him?
“I do not!” Hermione insisted, another pink tint on her cheeks as she avoided Ron’s eyes. Her eyes were hard on Ron’s, wide and pleading. “Please, just leave it be now.”
He sighed, dejected. “Fine…we won’t read the note. You hear that, Malfoy?” Ron turned his head and glared at the blonde. “Note stays closed.”
“Sure, Weaselbee. Not a problem for me. I’ve got quite the hunch already.” Malfoy’s voice trailed off, rolling his eyes at Ron. And Ron wasn’t too sure what that was supposed to mean.
Ron looked back at Hermione and she was slouching in her chair, avoiding his gaze again. The classroom turned silent, every attendee was sitting in their own quiet. Perhaps Ron was supposed to sit and think about what he did, feel bad about it for a while, and then never talk in class again - you know, the whole learning your lesson thing.
But instead, Ron sat wondering up a million possible scenarios of his best girl friend’s delinquent matters that had led her to detention. Maybe she stole a bunch of library books, yes, that was quite a Hermione move. Or she could have been caught sneaking out of her room past curfew to read (that was entirely possible). Ron was stumped.
Twenty minutes of silence later, Ron expected that Hermione had cooled down enough to bother once more. “Hermione,” he whispered so that the Slytherin prick wouldn’t hear him - but it was quiet enough in the room that his whisper was heard by everyone. “I’ll do your homework for a week if you tell me why you're in here.”
Hermione scoffed at the same time as Malfoy did. Ron turned and gave him a dirty look before returning to Hermione’s face. She shook her head at him, “Very promising, Ronald, you don’t even do your own.”
That was…true. Ron pinkened while Malfoy scoffed again. He didn’t look this time, “I’ll do anything. I’ll - I’ll kiss you, Hermione, anything!
Hermione’s eyes widened at Ron’s desperate plea and Malfoy suddenly stood up from his spot, taking a long step towards them. “Enough, Weaslebee. She said she doesn’t want it read.”
“What’s it to you, Malfoy?” Ron decided he should stand up too, obviously, and rose to face Malfoy as he approached. “Now you’re here to save the day?”
Malfoy was just centimeters taller than Ron but it honestly felt like feet to him at that moment. He refrained from cowering away, looking Malfoy straight in the eyes. “Even I understand the meaning of no, you egghead.”
“Boys, stop.” Hermione's small voice sounded but now Ron was fired up - egghead?
“What are you trying to say?” Ron squinted his eyes at Malfoy. “Hermione doesn’t need you to protect her from me.”
Malfoy scowled at him. “Right, Weasley. Granger doesn’t need me. She just wants me-“
“Malfoy.” Hermione snapped quickly and Malfoy looked at her for a quick moment before he glanced back at Ron with a snarl.
“You don’t know a damn thing about what she wants, Malfoy.” Ron brought a stern voice, puffing his chest up at Malfoy and took one more step closer to him. Malfoy stood, unfazed, his lip curled annoyingly at Ron.
His lips then turned into a smirk and he let out a small laugh. “Is that right?”
“Yeah, that’s bloody right.” Ron argued, confidently. Malfoy didn’t know anything about Hermione. He hardly even knew her at all. “Now, back off.”
“Oi, Granger. Your pet Weasel is quite feisty today.” Malfoy took another look at Hermione behind Ron and that had pissed Ron entirely off.
He would raise his hand to punched Malfoy - but to be fair, he had never punched anyone so that was not a great idea. He could’ve kicked his golden jewels - but Ron was also sure that Malfoy would’ve gotten him back, so he didn’t want to do that, either.
“Malfoy, stop it.” Hermione’s voice was stern behind Ron. Malfoy eyed her for another moment before he looked back at Ron, raising his eyebrows menacingly at him.
He rolled his jaw then, crossing his arms. “Bet you can’t guess what I’m in detention for. Go ahead and try to guess, Weaselbee.”
Ron scoffed, “It could be bloody anything, you prick. Surely punching a first year, or stealing a girl’s panties from her drawer.”
Malfoy smirked, rolling his eyes. “No, neither of those. Quite good guesses, I suppose.” His eyes turned from Ron to Hermione. “How about you, Granger? Got any guesses in that big brain of yours?”
Hermione was silent and Ron turned to her. She was in the middle of giving Malfoy one of the meanest glares he’d ever seen from her. “I don’t know, Malfoy. I said I hate games.”
“Oh, but just one guess.” Malfoy countered, fake pouting Hermione and Ron found it quite irritating to witness. He looked back at Hermione who was scowling now.
“No.”
And Ron snickered, raising his finger in Malfoy’s face. “Ha, the girl said no, Malfoy.”
And Malfoy’s eyes turned to look into Ron’s and if Ron was completely honest, he almost peed himself. He immediately retracted his finger, dropping his arms loosely. “You’re an idiot, Weasley.”
Ron felt himself blush at the cheeks and he hated it. Malfoy was so- intimidating. The blonde looked past him again, at Hermione.
“I’ll tell you what I did when Granger chooses to reveal her secrets.” He said with a cool tone and Ron snickered.
“We don’t care. Especially not Hermione.” Ron started with a smirk on his lips. But Malfoy didn’t even glance at him, leaving his gaze on Hermione.
Malfoy nodded, ”You sure about that one? I’d like to hear that from Granger’s own mouth.” And Ron turned to Hermione, expecting her to spit it out immediately at him. Hermione remained still in her seat, looking between both boys.
“I’m never telling, so you're never telling.” Was her words to Malfoy and Ron felt somewhat out of some loop. As if he was missing out on the desire to hide his detention schemes ? He’d talked in class, what was such the big deal here?
Then, the door opened and all three students turned so see Hagrid stumble back in. “Oh? A bit of tension, is there?” He asked, pausing as he saw the scene before him.
Malfoy and Ron both took a step away from each other while they all three looked opposite directions. “Well, glad I got here in time.” Hagrid continued seriously. “What’s this all about, then?”
Ron sheepishly looked at the ground and no one answered. It was silent for a few moments before Hagrid grumbled something about kids and drama before he took a seat in the professor’s chair, causing it to squish wildly underneath him. He released a sigh as he did and Ron decided to take his seat again, too.
The classroom was silent for another ten minutes and Ron was desperately watching the clock for his time of release. The hour was nearing an end and Malfoy hadn’t said a single thing since Hagrid had arrived, so he was grateful. And surely Ron and Harry would be able to drive the secret out of Hermione soon enough.
Minutes before Ron was about to hurriedly make his exit right on the hour, Hagrid stood which made his chair squeak, catching Ron’s attention. He smiled a large, goofy smile. “Ya’ll are good to get-“ he paused before he gave a small chuckle, leaning forward. “And you two better be careful in your…adventures.” He gave a wink to Ron and he drained under the insinuation.
Hagrid let out a loud laugh, heading towards the door. “Just sayin’ is all.” He then turned, waving. “And Malfoy, stop talkin in yer classes and learn something.”
Ron furrowed his eyebrows because there’s no way Malfoy and Ron were in here for the same thing. And Hagrid had made that comment. And he had given Ron that wink. Then Ron remembered in that moment that Hagrid had laughed upon reading the note, saying something about switching names.
The pieces clicked and Ron immediately stood out of his chair, his eyes wide at both Hermione and Malfoy. Malfoy had taken a closer seat once Hagrid had inturrupted, just a few rows behind him and Hermione. Ron stared horrified as the door shut after Hagrid, leaving him with - Hermione and Malfoy.
Hermione and Malfoy who were in detention together for- no. There was no way. Ron took a confused step backwards, eyes switching between the unlikely pair. Hermione’s face was beet red and she avoided his eye, but Malfoy - Malfoy was smirking at Ron with sickening amusement on his face.
Ron backed into the professor’s desk and quickly spun, immediately finding the note. He ripped it open, his eyes desperate for the truth.
Ronald Weasley - late for class, talking in class
Draco Malfoy - found in compromising position with a witch in a broom closet
Hermione Granger - found in compromising position with a wizard in a broom closet
Ron gulped, the paper crumpling in his hands. “Please tell me these were two different broom closets.”
They were, in fact, not separate broom closets. And it took Ron two weeks to scrub that imagery from his brain while Hermione continuously tried to assure him that it was a ‘fluke’ and ‘won’t happen again’ but Ron was also sure that he’d seen Hermione sneak off to abandoned hallways once or twice since then.
Hagrid still thought that the names were mixed up and every time he saw Ron he gave him another knowing wink and that made Ron want to die even more. He should’ve never pried, he should have never been as curious as he was. He should have never gotten detention that day, and he should’ve never talked in class.
Merlin, Ron had certainly learned his lesson and he absolutely never talked in class again. (Well, except when he needed to tell Harry something important, and when he needed to ask Hermione for an answer, or when McGonagall wasn’t paying attention)