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“Hao-hyung, I need advice about my casual, low commitment, heterosexual situationship.”
It’s a Tuesday when Gyuvin comes to the worst possible realization of his life.
The realization that perhaps his situationship is turning into far more of a different word that also coincidentally ends in ship .
So, Gyuvin does what he always does when faced with a problem in his life, which is force Hao to listen against his will, and then force Hao to give him some sort of advice.
It’s a tried and true method to getting the best possible answer to all of his problems.
Does Hao probably hate it?
Probably.
But that’s never bothered Gyuvin before, so it wasn’t going to bother him now.
Hao, for his part, sighs softly before replying - “Those sure are words.”
Hanbin, who had been sitting with Hao, blissfully innocent to the situationship and everything it entails, asks, “Hold on, a what now?”
“A casual, no stakes, low commitment, heterosexual situationship,” Gyuvin repeats, for Hanbin’s sake.
“With who?”
“Ricky, obviously,” Gyuvin replies. “Who else would I be in a casual, no stakes, low commitment, just friends, heterosexual situationship with?”
"What do you even do in a heterosexual situationship with another man,” Hanbin asks, clearly unable to wrap his head around the situation.
“It’s really not that complicated,” Gyuvin tells him. “We do everything heterosexual couples do, but not romantically, because we’re two straight men.”
“Like go on dates?”
“Yeah, or like suck each other’s dicks, but like platonically.”
“Can you explain to me how you platonically suck another man's dick?”
“I mean, I assume the same way you two do it,” Gyuvin replies, looking between them suspiciously, “But platonically, because we’re both straight.”
“Right, sounds very straight ,” Hanbin says, waving him on to explain. “Please continue.”
Hanbin makes a face like he clearly still does not understand the situation, but Gyuvin didn’t come here to explain things to Hanbin. He came here to get advice from Hao.
Gyuvin sits down on the open space at the edge of Hao’s bed. He definitely had been interrupting some private time between Hao and Hanbin, but it was too late to go back now. He was already here, had already interrupted, he might as well make himself comfortable on the bed with them.
“So what part of your casual… heterosexual…just friends… situationship, did you need advice about,” Hao asks, looking mildly distressed by even having to ask the question.
Right, back on task.
“So you know how one of the most important rules of our casual, no stakes, no obligations, low commitment, just friends, heterosexual situationship is that we don’t kiss each other on the mouth,” Gyuvin says.
Saying the words out loud is a small relief.
Compared to the stress he’s had ever since the fatal mistake of last night, which he mostly blames on the soju that Matthew bought, but also on the fact that Ricky’s lips are just very kissable.
“You and Ricky kissed,” Hao says, putting the dots together.
Gyuvin nods in confirmation.
At least now Hao knows his sins.
“And that’s a bad thing because…?”
“I keep thinking about it,” Gyuvin admits. “Even though I totally pretended to be too drunk to remember it this morning when Ricky asked me if I remembered anything from last night, and then he looked sad, but that’s obviously because he felt bad about breaking a rule of our casual, no stakes, no strings, no obligations, low commitment, just friends, heterosexual situationship.”
“Yeah, that was definitely it, no other reason,” Hanbin says, sounding slightly sarcastic.
“But okay, in my defense like what the fuck does another dude get to have such kissable lips for? That shouldn’t be allowed. If anything, it’s Ricky’s fault that the kissing happened, because he just looked too kissable . What was I supposed to do, not kiss him?”
Hanbin just sighs, shifting slightly to leave the room, “I have to go, I can’t stay and listen to this with a straight face anymore.”
Hao grabs onto his boyfriend, “Don’t you dare leave me alone with this,” before he turns to shoot an encouraging smile to Gyuvin and asks, “So you need advice on how to apologize to Ricky for kissing him?
“No,” Gyuvin says.
“Then you need advice on what exactly?”
If that isn’t the question of the hour.
See, Gyuvin’s thought a lot about this.
More than he’s thought about many other things in many weeks.
And he’s only been able to come to one conclusion - “Hao-hyung, you’re gay, right?”
Hao sighs softly, “I sure am.”
“How do you know you’re gay?”
“Because I like sucking dick in a non-platonic way.”
Shit, that makes sense.
“What about kissing guys?”
“I am a known boy kisser,” Hao confirms. “Though to be fair, many people in this band are, including you now, apparently.”
“Yeah, but that was-” Gyuvin stops. That was the whole reason he was here. “Hao-hyung, if you were in a casual, no stakes, no strings, no obligations, no pressure, low commitment, just friends, heterosexual situationship, it wouldn’t be a heterosexual situationship anymore, because you’re gay, right?”
“That’s generally how these things work, Gyuvin.”
“Fantastic! And if I, hypothetically, wanted to kiss Ricky again, and hold his hand, and tell him how pretty he is, would those be heterosexual thoughts or gay thoughts?”
Hao and Hanbin share a pointed look before Hao says, “Probably the second one?”
“Shit.”
“Gyuvin?”
Gyuvin stands up from the bed, nearly tripping over his own feet, as he turns away from the two boys left on the bed - “I need to go now.”
“Uh… Good luck!”
“Hanbin, come on, I want to see how this plays out.”
It’s not hard to find Ricky again.
After all, the apartment that WakeOne put them up in is quite small, considering there are nine boys living in it.
This would usually be something Gyuvin would find annoying, but as right now, he is on a mission to find Ricky, it is convenient. WakeOne being the cheapest mid-four company finally comes in handy.
Who would have thought? Not Gyuvin! That’s for sure!
“Ricky!”
For some reason, Ricky does not seem excited to see him.
While Ricky normally lights up at the sight of him, right now he seems upset, squished on the couch like Ricky sandwich between Jiwoong and Yujin. There’s a slight hint of redness around Ricky’s eyes, Gyuvin should remind him later to use his eye drops if his contacts are bothering him so much.
But later -
Right now, he is a man on a mission.
“Can we talk?”
Ricky makes no move to get off the couch and go with Gyuvin to a secondary location to talk, if anything, he seems to sink back further into it, pressing slightly up against Jiwoong before he asks, “About what?”
Gyuvin doesn’t have an issue talking about the thing between him and Ricky around Jiwoong, as Jiwoong is, like Hao, a known boy kisser, he would likely not have any issues hearing about Gyuvin’s own boy kissing related sins.
But Yujin is a child .
Basically a fetus.
He shouldn’t be hearing about kissing .
He shouldn’t even know what kissing is.
Gyuvin drops his voice a little quieter, even though it doesn’t make much difference since Yujin is sitting right next to Ricky, and says, “It’s about our casual, no stakes, no strings, no obligations, no pressure, carefree, low commitment, just friends, heterosexual situationship.”
“Your what,” Jiwoong asks, beside him, but Gyuvin doesn’t acknowledge Jiwoong.
All of his focus is on Ricky, who asked, “What’s wrong with our casual, no stakes, no strings, no obligations, no pressure, just vibes, carefree, low commitment, just friends, heterosexual situationship?”
Right.
Back on track.
“I think we should end it.”
He’s not sure exactly what he had expected.
Probably Ricky to totally understand why they needed to end things.
Definitely not for Ricky to look visibly upset, and Jiwoong to throw his arm around the blond’s shoulder in a movement that was clearly meant to be one of comfort.
Ricky’s voice sounds slightly strained as he asks, “Why?”
“Well, you see, remember how I told you that I didn’t remember anything from last night?”
Ricky nods his head in acknowledgement.
“I lied,” Gyuvin confesses, and wow it sure does feel like a weight off his shoulders to do so. “I remember that we broke the second most important rule of our casual, no stakes, no strings, no obligations, no pressure, just vibes, carefree, totally chill, low commitment, just friends, heterosexual situationship.”
“Your situationship has rules,” Jiwoong questions.
“We have thirty-six rules,” Ricky quickly tells the older, though his gaze remains on Gyuvin. “But that’s not important right now.”
“I broke one of them,” Gyuvin acknowledges.
“Technically I broke it,” Ricky corrects. “I’m the one that kissed you first.”
This is true.
Gyuvin, again, mostly blames the soju for the incident even occurring in the first place, and while he had been the one to ask Ricky why the other got to have such cute lips that looked perfect for kissing, technically it had been Ricky that leaned forwards first.
But still - “Except I also broke another rule?”
Ricky tilts his head to the side, his confused face really is adorable, and asks, “Which one?”
“The most important one,” Gyuvin admits.
“Not to wear your outside clothes on my bed?”
“No, the other most important one,” Gyuvin says. Though Ricky’s not wrong, the outside clothes rule is also very important and has led to multiple scoldings when Gyuvin forgot it, “The one about not having any non-heterosexual thoughts during our casual, no stakes, no strings, no obligations, no pressure, just vibes, carefree, totally chill, low commitment, just friends, not gay, heterosexual situationship.”
“Oh right, that one,” Ricky acknowledges, looking mildly upset. “So what now?”
“Well, I have an idea,” Gyuvin says.
It’s a good idea.
The best idea he’s ever had.
If you looked up good ideas in the dictionary, this idea would be right there under the dictionary definition for ‘good idea.’
“What if we end our casual, no stakes, no strings, no obligations, no pressure, just vibes, carefree, totally chill, inconsequential, low commitment, just friends, not gay, heterosexual situationship and start a slightly less than casual, some strings, some obligations, but still no pressure, just vibes, carefree, totally chill, slightly consequential, high commitment, not just friends, maybe a little gay, bisexual situationship?”
Ricky smiles.
And that’s a wonderful thing.
The best possible outcome, as far as Gyuvin is concerned.
But then he asks, “What if I’m not bisexual?”
“Oh, well, I think I am,” Gyuvin says, pointing at himself, “But if you’re not… uh…” Gyuvin furrows his brow, to be fair he was still trying to figure it out. He only just realized that he could like guys in a non-platonic way after making out with Ricky last night. “I guess we can make it a slightly less than casual, some strings, some obligations, but still no pressure, just vibes, carefree, totally chill, slightly consequential, high commitment, not just friends, maybe a little gay, still figuring ourselves out, but at least one of us probably bisexual situationship?”
“It’s perfect!”
Ricky claps his hands together.
Clearly pleased.
Score one for Team Gyuvin, who knew breaking the rules could work out so well? Though - “We might need to make new rules now?”
“Later,” Ricky says with a shrug, before standing up from the couch and holding out his hand to Gyuvin expectantly. “For now, want to go make out some more?”
“Yes, please!”
(“I still don’t understand what exactly is going on with those two?”
Yujin sighs, it’s really not that complicated, it’s a shame none of the adults in this band can use their brains - “They’re in love, obviously.”)