Work Text:
"In the next one
Will you find me?
I'll be the boy with the pink carnation
Pinned to my lapel
Who looks like hell
And asks for help
And if you do
I'll know it's you"
He was beautiful. That was the first thing Stede noticed. Even when illuminated only by the lights of a gas station. Even with the undone bowtie and the cigarette he was raising to his lips and the tear tracks dripping black eyeliner down his cheeks.
From his position seated on the curb, his big brown eyes surveyed the area, while the hand that wasn't holding the cigarette fidgeted with the stem of a pink flower on the ground next to him. He of course locked eyes with Stede—the only other person here at nearly midnight.
Did Stede need gas in his car? Not necessarily. But he couldn't sleep, and something in his gut was pulling him to come here.
He stopped short of the door to the building and asked the young man, "Are you okay?"
The man let out a breathy laugh without looking up at Stede. Took another drag of his cigarette. "What do you think?"
Stede just stared at him for a moment, taking in his… well, everything. Like Stede, he appeared to be in his late twenties. His dark hair, smudged with early streaks of gray, was up in a loose bun. He wore a nice black suit—or maybe it was a dark purple?—that clearly wasn't tailored, but fit his slender frame well enough.
"Is… Is there anything I can do for you?" Stede asked. "Can I help?"
"I mean… More than anything, I could use a ride home. It's not too far, but I'd be nervous about walking this late. And I don't have money for an Uber." The man paused, then added, "Unless you're a serial killer."
"Not that I'm aware of," said Stede.
The man laughed—a real, genuine laugh that made his eyes crease in the corners. He was even more beautiful when he was smiling, Stede decided.
Stede said, "You can wait over by my car if you'd like. It's the blue one." As soon as the words left his mouth, he remembered his car was the only one in sight, and he'd just gotten out of it.
"Never would've guessed," said the man as he stood and dropped his cigarette into the receptacle by the door. He started to take a step forward, but caught himself and turned back to pick up the flower off the ground. He studied it intently and held it close to his chest as he started toward Stede's car.
Stede faced the store again and entered. He handed a twenty to the exhausted-looking cashier and told them his gas pump number, and by the time he walked back out, the man was leaned back against the hood of the car, still eyeing the flower.
As Stede walked up beside his car and unscrewed the cap of the gas tank, he said, "That's a lovely flower you've got there."
"What, this wilty old thing?" said the man.
For a second, Stede was overcome by a strange sensation, like a breath of sea air in his lungs.
He shrugged it off and asked, "What is it? Carnation?" as he began fueling his car.
The man nodded. "Yeah. Thought it was pretty. Wanted to wear it but I…" He sighed through his nose and shook his head. "Couldn't fucking figure out how to stick it on my jacket anywhere. Tried. But I couldn't. So I just kinda… held it."
"Well I think it's lovely regardless," said Stede with a smile.
The man hesitated, but then smiled back.
Once Stede finished filling the tank, he put the nozzle back and unlocked the doors, and the man got into the passenger seat.
He looked over at Stede with a slight smile and said, "Oh, by the way, I'm Ed."
Stede smiled back as he started the engine. "Stede. Lovely to meet you." Then, as almost an afterthought: "So, where to?"
"Corner of Atlantic and South Sixth," said Ed. "Just past the weird little park with all the hummingbirds."
Stede nodded. "I know where that is."
He started driving, and they sat in comfortable silence for a bit. In a glance over at Ed, Stede found him staring out the window at the houses and trees, his face illuminated in waves as they passed each streetlight.
Finally, Stede asked, "So where are you coming from so late? And dressed like that?"
Ed tensed up slightly and mumbled, "A… Well, a party sort of thing. But it ended pretty badly. Made a total arse of myself. And on top of that, my date went home with someone else."
"Gosh," said Stede. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," said Ed. He clutched the flower's short stem a bit tighter and let out a dry laugh. "Doesn't matter. That whole scene just isn't for me, I guess. Better with bars. Clubs. The kind of places where you don't need a detailed knowledge of fucking table etiquette."
Stede nodded. "Yeah, I get that. I grew up around that sort of thing. It can be very… stifling."
Ed laughed wryly again. "You think?"
"Well, lucky for us," said Stede, "that sort of thing doesn't actually matter at all."
Ed scoffed and said, "Matters to the people who make fun of me for getting it wrong."
"And their opinions of you don't matter either."
Ed apparently didn't know what to say to that, because the pair fell into silence again, and continued that way until Stede finally pulled up outside a little apartment building on the specified corner.
With a smile, Ed turned to Stede and said, "Thank you. Seriously."
Stede smiled in return. "Not a problem at all."
As Ed opened the car door and stepped out, he twirled the carnation in his hand and muttered, "Just gotta figure out what to do with this stupid old flower."
"Hang on," said Stede. He rummaged through the small pile of odds and ends in his center console until he found a safety pin, and then got out of the car and walked around to where Ed was standing. "Let me give it a try."
Ed just stood in silence and allowed Stede to gently pull the flower from his hand. Stede carefully stuck the safety pin through the base of it and reached for Ed's jacket.
For a half-second, Stede could swear that the flower in his hand looked red and felt smooth like silk, and the man in front of him was bearded and older and steady in the ocean breeze.
"There we go," he whispered as he affixed the flower to Ed's lapel.
Ed brushed a gentle hand over the carnation. Stede softly said, "Look at that."
Ed looked back up at him, and his eyes sparkled like moonlight reflected off the sea.
Stede continued, "You wear fine things well."
Ed let out the breath he'd been holding, a shy smile on his face.
Gosh, he was beautiful.
After a few seconds of silence, Ed said, "So… Goodnight, then, I guess?"
Stede nodded. "Yes, right. Of course. I hope you have a lovely rest of your night, Ed."
They both turned and Ed started walking up the sidewalk to his building as Stede started walking back to his car.
But when Stede turned back to look over his shoulder at Ed, Ed was looking at him too.
"Uh… Hey, Stede?" he asked softly, sheepishly.
"Yes?" said Stede.
"Um… Do you think…" said Ed, staring at the sidewalk, fidgeting with the buttons on his suit jacket, "I could maybe… give you my number? Y'know, just in case I ever need to bug you for a ride home again." He added the last sentence quickly, and chuckled nervously after it.
Stede smiled. "Good idea."
He pulled out his phone as he walked back over to Ed. As Ed typed in the number, Stede took the opportunity to study his face once more. He was still gorgeous, and looked so much happier than when Stede had first come across him. Stede was honored that Ed's warm smile was because of him.
Ed handed the phone back to Stede, who savored the way that their fingers briefly brushed together. Ed said, "Thanks. So I guess I'll… maybe see you around sometime, then?"
"Certainly," said Stede. "And I look forward to it."
As he turned away from Ed's grin to walk back toward his car again, images flashed through his mind on autopilot.
Hands held tightly, kisses on beaches, lovemaking in a falling-apart old house.
Stede wasn't sure where these thoughts were coming from, but then again, he also couldn't explain the strange sensation that pushed him to visit that gas station at midnight in the first place.
As he started his car, he decided that he wasn't going to question it. He would just see where it took him.