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Gyuvin has never been one to really worry about his own safety. Even now as an adult, Hanbin is still reminding him to not push himself too hard at work, Hao always has to scold him to wear warmly in the chilly July weather and strangers are constantly pulling him back from walking straight into traffic in the mornings. Gunwook once teased he has no self preservation whatsoever but Gyuvin personally begs to differ.
But now that he's here, struggling to fumble his keys out of his jeans and jam it into the keyhole, only to find his door slightly ajar, he's starting to take them seriously.
It was locked this morning, he's sure of it. He'd learned his lesson from when the neighbour’s cat snuck in last month and made a mess of his tiny apartment. He hasn't made that same mistake since. Gyuvin squeezes the folders of unmarked tests to his chest as some sort of courage and finally pushes his door wide open, internally wincing at the creaking sounds it makes.
He waits for a bit, but nothing happens. No one jumps out from the darkness and tries to stab him to death and for that he's grateful. Everything's fine for now, so he carefully steps in, wide eyes searching every and any corner for anything that moves. Gyuvin still has his folders clenched tightly to his chest when a bolt of lightning illuminates his living room from the outside and the person sitting on the floor with it.
He recognizes that platinum blonde hair immediately, shoulders drooping with annoyed relief. “Dude what the fuck?” He places all his stuff on the counter, feeling a bit lightheaded from how scared shitless he was seconds ago. “What are you doing here?”
The person doesn't move an inch, almost like he didn't even notice Gyuvin come in.
“Ricky?” Gyuvin calls out.
Silence.
Him sitting all alone in the dark is kinda creeping Gyuvin out a little. He reaches out to flip a light switch. “What are you doing-”
The room is then flooded in warm white, shining light on Ricky, a half empty bottle of soju beside him and an empty pill bottle between his legs.
Gyuvin feels his heart drop.
“Ricky,” he calls out again, now stumbling towards him in a panic. “Hey, hey!” He taps him on the cheeks, his usual skin tone an alarming shade too pale. Too cold to the touch. And Ricky won't look at him, gaze pointedly fixated on Gyuvin's dirt brown carpet instead. “What did you do Ricky?” Gyuvin shakes him by the shoulders and the boy in his arms limply shakes along with him. “What the fuck did you do?!”
As he expected, he gets no response and Gyuvin digs into his pockets to retrieve his phone and calls paramedics. They tell him they're on their way and should try and keep him responsive as long as possible. Halfway through, Gyuvin's phone dies and Ricky slouches deeper into his previous position. His eyes are more unfocused than before and Gyuvin feels helpless. There must be something he can do.
“The pills… we- we need to get the pills out of your system,” he starts rambling, already snaking his arm around Ricky's waist to help him up and towards his bathroom. “You’ll have to get them out of your system and- and then…”
They only make it to the doorway before Ricky suddenly shoves himself off, nearly crashing into Gyuvin's dusty bookshelf if Gyuvin hadn't been fast enough to catch him. “Fuck off.” His words are slurred, infinitely slower compared to his original speech rate. And detached. So cold that Gyuvin feels a shiver run down his own spine.
And just like that, “Have you fucking lost it?! We don't have the time for this!” He tries to pull him out again but Ricky only fights even harder, balled fists pushing against Gyuvin at every attempt. “I said fuck off.”
Gyuvin makes the quick decision of grabbing him and dragging them both to the bathroom, doesn't stop even when Ricky kicks and screams in his arms.
They drop in front of the toilet seat and Gyuvin urgently rubs at his back. “Ricky…” The boy tries to scramble away from his touch again, adamantly shaking his head. “Please. Ricky come on.”
Ricky firmly shakes his head no and the dam finally breaks, an ugly sob escaping his lips as the tears run down his face. “Please Ricky please.” He begs, and begs and begs. “For me. Do it for me. For all of us. Please.”
Ricky looks down to the floor once more, squeezing his eyes shut like that would make Gyuvin disappear.
“Please.”
Then Ricky is hunched over the toilet seat and empties his stomach, Gyuvin rubbing his back at every lurch he makes. It could've been hours, but in reality it had been a few minutes before Ricky finally stopped retching, his body slouching as the energy in his body rapidly started depleting.
And Gyuvin holds him when Ricky finally breaks down, hands desperately gripping at his jacket and finally lets it out. “Thank you. Thank you.” Gyuvin says. He means it from the bottom of his heart and Ricky only cries harder.
Gyuvin looks at him in his arms, really looks at him for a moment. It's only now he realises Ricky's wet, hair matted against his forehead and a puddle of water following their every step from where Ricky had been sitting initially. Gyuvin deduces he must've been out in the rain just minutes before Gyuvin had arrived. He's still shivering, teeth chattering, fingers trembling and Gyuvin wants to take it all away. All the pain he feels, physical and emotional.
Eventually Ricky calms, too tired to cry or even move. So Gyuvin adjusts their position so they're facing each other and Ricky's head is against his chest, heart beating right into his ears. To remind him he's here. He'll always be here. No matter how many times Ricky curses him out and abandons him when he needs him, he'll always be here. He knows how crazy that sounds, knows Ricky doesn't feel the same, probably never will and he's okay with it. Has gladly accepted his fate.
Everything is so still it's almost like time has frozen. So quiet it's like they're the last two people alive.
“I had a bad day.”
Gyuvin hugs him even tighter if possible.
“I went to a job interview this morning.”
Gyuvin didn't know that. Why hadn't he mentioned this before?
“I wanted to surprise you. Figured it's about time I start pulling my own weight around, y'know? When I got there they turned me away for being a foreigner. I tried to speak up for myself like you taught me. But they beat me up and called the cops on me. The cops wouldn't listen either, just called me a bunch of slurs. And… and I snapped. Had a whole episode behind bars and they had to restrain me.
"By the time I came to my senses and Hao could pay my bail, I had a missed call from my dad. Turns out Mom had a stroke and passed away in the few hours I'd been gone.” he chuckles by the end of it, and it's so empty and devoid of any emotion. "How crazy is that?"
“I'm just tired Gyu,” Gyuvin's heart shatters into a million smithereens at the raw pain in his voice, his usual deep tone growing tighter by the second. “I'm so fucking tired.”