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why am i here?

Summary:

He turned and saw Barou was handing him a bottle of water. He took it and they went to find the theater. They soon took their seats. The previews were going on, so Rin clocked out for the moment. Until he saw the horror movie's trailer. He perked up and felt a smile come over his face when he did, and didn't notice Barou looking over at him.

"You like horror?"

Rin looked over at him, and realized he was almost leaning toward the screen. He scoffed to himself and leaned back in his seat, his face looking disinterested once more.

"Yeah, it's fine."

Barou glanced at him and looked back at the screen. Rin looked at him, watching his profile.

He was gruff, like a gorilla. He might've been a neat-freak who clearly takes care of his things and himself, but he wasn't afraid of getting dirty, Rin noted that when he watched him play football.

 

"Gross..."

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"Hey, you're not dead right?"

"Yes, Sae. He's grabbing our tickets and is gonna grab me when he has them."

"Are you getting snacks?"

"Hell no." Rin rolled his eyes. "Movie snacks are disgusting and expensive. I told him not to get me anything aside from a water." He leaned back in Barou's surprisingly clean leather seat. His entire car was impeccably clean, and Rin was impressed.

"So, my little brother's first date is at the movies... nice."

"Shut up, Sae. God, you're such an asshole."

"Yeah, yeah... hm?" Sae's voice sounded further from the phone, "Okay, yeah, I'll get in there, keep your pants on." It got closer again. "You too."

"Yeah, yeah. Keep your pants on too."

"Will do. Alright, I gotta bounce. See you tomorrow, Rin."

"See you tomorrow, Sae."

Rin hung up the phone. He looked up and saw Barou open the door. He stepped out of the car, and shuddered as the cool air flicked up his skirt. He almost regretted wearing it, but he liked the way it looked... so he didn't fully regret it.

"Well, lets go."

They walked in and Rin stood off while Barou grabbed snacks from the bar, and he looked around. He saw a movie poster for a horror movie that would be coming out soon. He wandered over to it and cocked his head.

"Oooh... I like this series... and this is the last film, huh? I definitely need to see it then. And it's opening day is when I only have one class!" He smiled to himself, already making plans for it.

"Hey."

He turned and saw Barou was handing him a bottle of water. He took it and they went to find the theater. They soon took their seats. The previews were going on, so Rin clocked out for the moment. Until he saw the horror movie's trailer. He perked up and felt a smile come over his face when he did, and didn't notice Barou looking over at him.

"You like horror?"

Rin looked over at him, and realized he was almost leaning toward the screen. He scoffed to himself and leaned back in his seat, his face looking disinterested once more.

"Yeah, it's fine."

Barou glanced at him and looked back at the screen. Rin looked at him, watching his profile.

He was gruff, like a gorilla. He might've been a neat-freak who clearly takes care of his things and himself, but he wasn't afraid of getting dirty, Rin noted that when he watched him play football.

"Gross..."

He turned back to the screen. He then found himself thinking... "Why am I here."

He thought back to his brother. A new boyfriend every so often. Trying to look for the right person, searching far and wide for a person who's... right. And Rin... always focusing on sports, until it made him pick having to deal with being a girl for way too long. 

He crossed one leg over the other.

He wasn't a girl.

"Awesome..."

Rin hadn't even noticed the movie had started, with someone already getting their head cut off. He rolled his eyes. He hated action movies. They were so cut and paste, the same thing every damn time, and Rin didn't get them. 

"They're so stupid... why does he like them..."

He watched some of blood splatter get onto the character and as Rin looked at him, it reminded him of Barou. And the blood splatter... it was reminiscent of his favorite slasher films...

"Okay... maybe there's some appeal."

The theater erupted into cheers at one part where the music got loud at the same time and explosion went off. Rin's head jerked to the right side and he rubbed the back of his neck. He huffed when another loud part happened and he covered one of his ears.

"Noises... loud noises suck..."

He felt an arm wrap around him and a hand covered his other ear. He looked over and saw Barou was still watching the movie. He shook his head and continued to watch the movie.

"Why is he doing this? What does he-... he likes me. Right? This is what you do for people you like, you show that you care about them, right? ...Right?" Rin thought about Sae, and how he always took care of Rin. Whenever he was sick, he gets medicine and easy to eat meals and watches a horror movie with him until Rin falls asleep. "Why does he like me? I know why I liked him... but why does he like... oh damn he got his head cut off."

Rin and Barou's eyes widened when it happened and they both gasped, leaning in closer. When Rin realized, after his cheek pressed against Barou's, he quickly retracted, and sat back, swatting his hand away. Barou glanced over at him, and rested his hand on his fist. Rin re-crossed his legs. He wasn't expecting this date to go anywhere, but he found himself... enjoying it. He hated the movie, it was a generic action film, but... he liked Barou's presence. Thinking about it, he wasn't sure if just having anyone would make it this bearable. 

"He's... a weird one. Then again, I'm weird, aren't I? I'm the... trans one. The one who thinks he-... she... no- he... I'm the gender I wasn't born as... what's weirder than that? Certainly not Barou... he just likes action movies..."

"Hey, Rin."

Rin looked over at Barou who was still watching the movie. He furrowed his brow and cocked his head. Barou slowly looked over at him, his cheeks flushed lightly. It was the first time Rin saw him blush.

"Can I kiss you?"

Rin stared at him.

"...Go ahead."

At the explosion, and with the roar of the crowd, Barou covered both of Rin's ears and brought him in for a soft kiss. Rin could barely hear a thing that was going on, lost in the soft feel of Barou...

"Dammit."


"You know, I was honestly thinking about never going out with you again."

Barou looked over at him. They were laying in Rin's bed, Rin having to assure him that his bed was clean and his brother wouldn't be back that night. He then turned back to the ceiling and hummed.

"Why?"

"Cause I thought you were the type of boring, stupid guy that only watched action movies. Plus... I thought you'd hate me."

Barou sat up. "Why would I hate you?"

Rin looked up at him before turning onto his side. "Well... I want this relationship to continue... do you?"

He watched the younger man for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. I do."

He squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered out a breath. "I'm transgender."

There was silence. Rin was honestly expecting Barou to stand up and yell something about Rin being a "liar" and "holding that information from him"... but none of that came. What came was a hand on his shoulder and when he turned around, he saw Barou was looking down at him.

"Yeah?"

"...I am..."

He lied next to him once more. "Transgender man?"

He furrowed his brow and Rin wanted to punch him. "Yes."

"Mmn. Alright."

There was silence once again. When he fully processed what the other man said, Rin sat up and looked down at him.

"That's it?!"

"What? What else were you expecting?"

"No... anger or incredulousness? No 'Oh, I accept you' or some kind of progressive bullshit?"

"Hell no? In my eyes, you really didn't change. You're just a guy, and a guy I happen to like. Who cares what's between your legs, I just like you."

He stared at the other man for a second before scoffing and lying on his chest. "You've got like, no emotions, dude."

"Hey, we're dating. Don't call me 'dude'."

"You wanna make it official?"

"Why not? I like you, you like me. Why not make it official?"

Rin nodded and rested his head on his chest. "You still don't have emotions."

"Never have. I didn't even cry when I was born."

Rin sat up quickly and groaned loudly in the room. "Oh. My. God. You're that kind of guy!"

"What kind-"

"Sae is so going to kill me for actually agreeing to date you."

"What the hell-"

You're like, literally one of the most annoying types of guys Sae has ever met." He scoffed. "And yet, the guy he's going out with tonight..."

"What, is he worse?"

"Way worse. Now, let's stop talking about Sae, I'm tired." Rin flopped back onto his chest, making Barou groan. "Oh yeah, horror movies are my favorite."

"I'll keep that in mind."

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