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They never talk about what they have with each other. Chishiya doesn't even think they would be on the same page, necessarily. Because that just isn't something that they are. Generally speaking.
They're so much not on the same page that when it happens, it surprises both of them. Not the tension, but that they're doing something about it.
The tension is there from the moment they both wake up in that hospital room, meeting each other for the very first time but also feeling like they've known each other their whole life. The tension follows them around hospital floors and into group therapy sessions, it follows them into the lush green garden of the clinic and into physical recovery.
The tension takes a little break from happening for a few months when Chishiya's discharged from the hospital and loses himself in his work and that new, changed self that he wants to become for some unfathomable reason.
The tension is there again when they bump into each other in that one coffee shop close to the hospital, where Chishiya gets his much-needed dose of caffeine and Niragi works at one of the tables in the back whenever his apartment gets too quiet for him to properly concentrate.
But this time, they don't ignore the tension they both absolutely and without a doubt know is there. There’s glances interrupting all that bickering that just seems to come naturally to them, eyes meeting and fingers touching mock-innocently when they reach for their coffees at the same time.
Then there's heat. There's so much heat, but also never enough. There's fingers gripping waists and tangling into strands of hair, there's teeth burying into shoulders, and legs winding around hips, there's clothes strewn across the floor, and bodies writhing between the sheets.
They never specify anything. Chishiya doesn't even know if they're exclusive. He doesn't see other people, but he hasn't done that in the past either, so it's more a force of habit and not necessarily because he's committed to some unspoken understanding between the two of them. And for all he knows, Niragi could be seeing somebody else every night he isn't warming Chishiya's bed.
And it wouldn't be a problem, really. Not for him. It's fine, he can absolutely do no strings attached. If it weren't for what he is experiencing right now that is, with his eyes closed and his limbs still heavy from deep slumber.
The thing is: Chishiya's a very light sleeper. Always has been, and working day and night, with no real sleep schedule to adapt to has certainly not helped in that regard. Which is why he tends to wake up to the smallest of sounds and to the faintest of movements. Like, for example, the pad of a finger wandering over his cheek in featherlight touches.
And here lies the problem, the one that kind of nullifies all his other assumptions about them. Because they don't do soft. They do consensual, certainly, he wouldn't be here if they didn't, but they don't do careful, don't do vulnerable, don't do gentle.
Which is exactly what this feels like. There's no other way to describe the touch that caresses his face in what he assumes must still be the very first morning light shining in between the blinds. He doesn't know, because he hasn't opened his eyes yet, his breathing slow and deliberate, while his mind is racing, question after question flitting around in his head.
Because this isn't something they do. Except, apparently, it is.
The finger wanders from his cheek to his eyebrow, follows the slight curve of it across his forehead before turning back and journeying to his earlobe. Chishiya feels fingers stroking a few strands of hair behind his ear, feels them grazing against the pointed top of the shell before wandering to his neck. He still keeps his breathing even, but it's hard, it's so hard not to react to the caress, because that's what it is, that's exactly what it is, and nobody has ever touched him like this, without a clear intent behind their movements, without the aim for more.
He doesn't think that's Niragi's goal here because Niragi already has him. Has him in every sense that is physical and also has the certainty that he can have him again and again, if he so pleases. He needs no softness, no caress to achieve that.
And Chishiya knows that Niragi is a very deliberate person, behind that impulsive and at times erratic facade he presents to the outside world. A deliberate, and also incredibly smart person, who doesn't do things without reason, without aim.
So what's his aim here?
The finger turns again, this time going for the curve of Chishiya's nose, which is a problem he realizes when he flares his nostrils involuntarily and feels the soft laugh puff against his forehead.
"I know you're awake, pretty boy."
The voice is rough, a bit raspy from sleep, and it sends shivers down Chishiya's back. There's also amusement in there, and a contentment he hadn't expected coming from a man like Niragi; not now, not ever.
Well, time to face the fact that there are still things in this world that can surprise him, Chishiya thinks and slowly opens his eyes.