Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

To say Zack was dozing on the job would be… true. But this wasn’t his actual job. He’s just doing the Turks a favor. 5000 gil to watch the comms for three hours? And the ability to snoop through all of Rufus’s files and find all kinds of dirt on him? Zack could do that in his sleep.

So after he finishes invading everyone’s privacy looking around, he leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. ‘Watching the comms’ really just means listening for any weird noises over the airwaves. He’s pretty sure Rufus has the Turks investigating alien communication lines, but whatever they want to waste time on is fine by him. There haven’t been any community incidents now that Tseng is working directly beneath Rufus, and the new surveillance systems are in the middle of testing. Zack wonders if they’ll hire Cloud to ride his bike all the way across the continent just to see when his little blue tracking dot disappears. Honestly, Zack’s not sure it would.

He opens his eyes again and leans forward enough to check his watch. It’s only been an hour. Zack leans back again and sighs. He’s in for the long haul, so he might as well try to get some sleep.

Thirty seconds later he’s up and doing squats.

He’s not facing the monitor he’s supposed to be ‘diligently observing.’ He’s angled towards the back wall. There’s a caged area back there with a bunch of old-ass equipment. Zack only moved to Radiant Garden three years ago, but he’s pretty sure the Turks are the oldest ‘community’ organization in town. They’re definitely older than the Restoration Committee, probably by a good fifty to sixty years. At least the Turks didn’t blow themselves up before the Committee established fire and emergency response plans for the area. 

Zack checks his watch again. Seventy-five minutes. He’s gonna die of boredom.

One thousand squats later, and Zack is snooping again, but this time in that back area. The key was just sitting in the lock; they obviously wanted him to poke around.

Everything is super old, and most of it is just old tech. He was hoping for something mechanical to steal modify later this evening, but there’s not much worth taking. Zack sighs again, but he doesn’t bother to check his watch. He turns to leave the area; maybe Reno has weird shit on his computer.

There’s a noise.

Zack’s a little embarrassed that whatever it startled him, but then he quickly heads back to the main desk and checks the monitor.

Nothing.

He rolls his eyes and sits back down.

The noise goes off again. It’s…kind of like the sound a CRT makes when you turn it off or a dart gun in a cheesy kid’s movie; maybe a mix of the two. But Zack’s eyes were on the monitor, and nothing went off. It doesn’t even seem like the sound came from the speakers.

“What the fuck?” Zack mumbles to himself. He scrolls through some of the tabs on the monitor he’s watching, but no other system has any alerts. Rufus didn’t explain what to do if Zack actually heard a noise. So Zack just goes back to the screen he’s supposed to be watching (It’s literally nothing; it looks like a flatline on a heart monitor. It’s a wonder Rufus hasn’t blown the Turks budget with this shit.) and leans back in his chair. He swapped it with Rude’s desk chair; it had wheels. If he misses some secret message from another universe then he just misses the message.

“Psst!”

Zack falls off the chair, jumps up, and slides his hand over his sidearm. 

“Who’s there?” Zack calls out. 

“Psst!”

He feels like this sound is coming from every corner of the room at the same time.

“Stop messing around!” Zack scolds. “Who’s here?”

It’s very quiet.

And then- “Psst!” again, but this time the noise is right next to his ear.

Startled, Zack pivots away and raises his gun. “Rufus didn't mention this place being haunted,” he spits out. He figured he might have one day where he wouldn’t fall back on training, but apparently, he’s a soldier for life.

He scans the room again, his gun lowered but still at the ready. He knows you can’t shoot ghosts; he’s about 80% certain he won’t try anyway.

Then that weird sound, like a vaporizer in an alien invasion film, rings out again. It’s immediately followed by loud static that drowns the back of the room.

“Shit,” Zack says. He probably touched a haunted object in that back area. The ghost probably turned something on. 

Zack creeps back over to the fenced door that he didn’t bother to relock. He can’t tell if there are any lights on back there, but the static feels so much louder.

He does not sigh for a third time; he really doesn’t. He’s just not in the mood for ghosts. Radiant Garden’s full of them; he still thinks he should have received a disclaimer about that when he initially moved here on assignment.

Irregular popping sounds interrupt the static, almost like whatever’s freaking out back there is trying to find the right frequency. 

“Fuck me, there better not actually be aliens,” he groans. 

He’s made his way to the back corner of the area. There’s a large wooden table pushed up against the wall with a huge technological thing sitting on top. It feels like the noise is coming from it, considering it has speakers the size of his head.

“What even is this thing?” Zack says mildly. The static and popping is quieter now that he’s closer which absolutely means it’s something supernatural that’s fucking with him.

5000 gil is not enough payment for this.

Zack finally puts his gun away and checks out what he thinks is a giant two-way radio. There’s a microphone on an old-fashioned stand with bulky, beige headphones next to it. 

“Nope,” Zack quips. “If you want to tell me something you can use the speakers on that thing. I’m not putting those things on.”

Then he hears the voice. It’s feminine but fairly monotone. “Connection to recipient successful,” it says. Something about the reverb makes the words crack. “To authorize — — your name.”

Zack rubs the back of his head. “Yeah, I missed about half of that.”

“Recipient response —- —- —- —- failed. Please — — — microphone.”

“Fuck me,” Zack murmurs. He shifts over to the mic stand on the table, but it’s barely 4 feet off the ground. His back’s going to hurt because of alien ghosts ghost aliens. 

The lights go out.

“Aww, fuck me ,” Zack groans, much louder this time. “You’re fucking with the power, too?”

The lights come back on and-

There’s a stool right in front of him. It’s wooden and matches the table perfectly, almost like it was made for it. But Zack knows, he knows it wasn’t there a moment ago.

“Connection failing,” the voice rings out again. “Please authorize — — — stating your name.”

The crackling’s getting worse, but Zack’s just glad it’s not too loud. He opens his mouth to speak before pausing. He shifts and sits down on the stool and gives the microphone the most aggravated glare he can manage before moving closer. He clears his throat. “Um…this is Zack Fair.”

“Connecting-” but the voice bottoms at the end of the word and there’s that first sound. It’s like a TV keeps turning off.

Then there’s static and more popping, but significantly quieter. Zack looks down at the headphones and glares harder before shoving them onto his head. He thinks he’s going to be stuck listening to empty airwaves when-

“This is –” but the voice cuts out. This one is masculine, but the connection is significantly worse than the feminine voice.

“Shit,” Zack says. “This is Zack Fair.”

“This is — Strife. Can — hear —?! Hell—o?”

What. The. Fuck.

“Spike? Fuck, is that you?” It sounds like him. Zack’s known Cloud Strife since he was seven and Cloud was five. He followed Cloud all the way across the planet to live in a haunted town with the worst security and surveillance efficiency he’d ever encountered. He knows that voice.

“Z—-ack? Zack — — help — please for fuck’s sake get — —”

Why does he sound like that? Cloud doesn’t get rattled. He gets angry, definitely, but he doesn’t lose it like this. He shuts down in situations where Zack, despite all of his training, still panics.

“Cloud, you’re breaking up,” Zack replies. “But babe, what’s happening? What’s going on?” If he’s honest, Zack’s not really sure he wants to know.

“Please I — do — —— it’s — —- — — can’t feel my legs-”

Zack’s stomach drops, but he grips the microphone stand to keep himself grounded. “Okay, Spike, please tell me where you are? Anything nearby? Like a city, a landmark, anything.” Zack’s rambling. He’s not supposed to panic, but Cloud’s not supposed to get hurt.

“There’s —— out here —- — stuck. It’s — freezing and the fuck—-ing bridge collapsed!”

“Bridge collapsed ?! Fuck shit fuck… okay okay um fuck hey uh Spike?” Rambling again.

“—- too — Zack please — — know where —- —- anymore.”

Zack bites his lip. It doesn’t sound like Cloud’s really following the conversation anymore. “I don’t even think you can hear me, but I’m coming alright? I think I can find you with all of Rufus’s shit. But don’t move, okay? I’m coming, I promise.”

For a second there’s just the sound of Cloud breathing, his chest stuttering awkwardly. Then the breathing stops, and Zack wonders if the connection slipped. Then Cloud wails. “Za—- I think —— is dead —” The line cuts out entirely for a moment, but then quickly reconnects, “— tell Leon-” The background static gets louder, and Zack can’t hear anything again. There’s a loud whistling sound, almost like feedback, before the line reconnects. “— so much trouble. The fuck-”

“Spike,” Zack tries, but Cloud keeps going anyway. Zack can barely follow what he’s saying anymore with all the noise and connection issues.

“——broke and he only — my helmet on. Zack — — I killed him.”

Zack feels like his heart is a coughing car engine. “Cloud… who’s with you?”

“Sora’s —”

The connection drops and stays that way. 

“Fuck! Cloud can you hear me? Cloud?!” 

There’s no reply.

He looks at the radio desperately, trying to find some way to get it to work, but he’s not Cid; he can’t do mechanical, electrical, and technological troubleshooting. He doesn’t know how to work a radio-

Did Cloud say Sora ?

Zack feels like every muscle in his body is pulled tight. He’s effectively emotionally restrained while dread scrapes out his insides. He screams and throws the headphones back on the table, and it takes everything in Zack to hold off pulling out his gun and shooting the piece of junk. He’s getting the sinking feeling that the radio itself never actually turned on. He couldn’t get Cloud back if he tried.

But… Sora.

He calls Cloud’s cellphone three times, but it goes straight to voicemail. He takes three seconds to breathe before calling the only other person he can think of while he runs back into the main office and grabs his coat. He shoots a text to Rufus and another one to Vincent just in case.

Finally, the line picks up on the last ring, and the voice is groggy and thin. “…..hello? Zack?”

“Lee, where are you?” Zack feels like he’s dying.

“What?” He’s clearly still half asleep.

“Are you with Cloud?”

Leon yawns hard. “No, he went out earlier,” he replies.  “I’m back home from work, sleeping. Call Cloud, and he can tell you where he is.”

Zack knows he doesn’t really get along with Leon. If anyone looked him dead in the eye and asked him what the dynamic of their relationship is, he’d probably say they’re both seeing other people. The people in question are just…the same two guys. But that usually means he doesn’t have to talk to Leon, which means Leon probably isn’t registering the urgency of the situation because he doesn’t know Zack very well. “Fuck,” he finally replies.  “Do you know if anyone is with him? At all?”

Leon sighs, “I don’t know, Zack. I don’t follow his every move. Is he not answering?”

“No, but… fuck . Who picked up Sora from school today? Was Cloud supposed to?”

Zack hears Leon gasp, and he clutches his phone tighter, squeezing his eyes shut. He’s just standing in the entry room for the Turk’s office building waiting for the security door to unlock. Leon’s like that monitor; Zack doesn’t need to see it to hear what’s going on.

“Zack,” Leon’s voice is cold, “where’s my son?”

And that is why Zack feels weird with Leon; the guy’s scary as hell. “Leon listen-” but Zack can’t think of anything to say. He doesn’t know anything for certain, and if he says the wrong thing Leon’s just going to get more upset. Cloud sounded wrong earlier, and the connection sucked, but Zack’s starting to think when he heard “tell Leon” on the line there was probably a “don’t” that got lost in the static.

But he’s been silent too long.

“Zack Fair. Where. Is. My. Son.” 

The security door unlocks, and Zack bolts down the hall. “Look I don’t know, but that’s what I’m trying to find out, alright?! Fuck…I’m still at the Turk field office. Rufus asked me to watch the comms… but then Cloud fucking radioed for help , Lee.”

“…What?” Leon replies, “He called through the Turk’s secure line? Why would he do that?"

Zack tries not to trip on the staircase and only half succeeds. His phone is still safe between his right ear and shoulder, but he drops his keys in the shuffle and doesn’t really register what Leon said at all. “Fucking keys— I can’t—- shit Leon I can’t be compromised for this, fuck .” He can’t panic, but he’s panicking, but he can’t panic.

Zack’s brain hardly stutters when he hears Leon take a deep breath. “Zack, you gotta slow down. Please just…what’s going on?” He doesn’t even sound as scary anymore.

“Cloud’s not even supposed to be on the fucking airways, Leon. He sounds like he's in the Wastes, but that's four hours from here. How the fuck could he radio in from the bottom of a ravine?”

Leon pauses. “Wait- what? He’s not on the grid?”

Zack ignores Leon entirely, unlocking Rufus’s car door and almost throwing himself behind the wheel. “How the fuck did I hear him? There’s no signal that far west. There’s nothing; it’s fucking empty because it’s the fucking Wastes. He couldn’t get a cell signal out there if he tried. He couldn’t lug a two-way radio with him either.”

“How do you even know he’s out there?”

Zack pulls out of the office lot unnecessarily fast. He’s trying to fuel the fear into some kind of calculated response, but he keeps realizing things. He remembers the weird parts of their conversation; he remembers how fucking not normal the weird feminine voice was. “There’s no signal, so he can’t be there, but he’s fucking out there, which means he’s fucking dead, and I can’t lose him again-”

“Stop, what? What he’s not…he’s not dead.”

The retired SOLDIER lets out a choked whine. Gaia, he’s so compromised. “Lee, there’s no signal out there,” Zack says, then he slams his hands against the wheel. He realized something else. “That report from years ago… it was part of an argument on the problem with two-way radios for military operations. Soldiers, field office workers, fucking everyone kept getting weird calls for help, and it was always out in the Wastes. And every single time they checked there was nothing there and no record of the radio transmission. Sometimes the radios would receive messages when they were powered off, and that’s how people figured it out. The contemporary design for two-way radios made them work on a frequency that reaches some supernatural dimension in the Wastes. So if you ever get a call for help when the call shouldn’t have even gone through, any and all tracking information will lead you out there. Every. Single. Time.” Zack doesn’t think he breathed at all during that. He didn’t even notice how fast he was driving.

“Zack, what the fuck -” Leon tries, but-

Zack slams on the car horn. “I’m at your fucking house. Get outside.” Zack hangs up the phone; he's gripping the wheel like it's the only thing he has left to hold on to.

—

Leon jerks his head up at the horn sound reverberating through the walls.

“Get outside,” Zack snaps before promptly hanging up.

Leon doesn’t move; he calls Cloud.

You’ve reached Cloud Strife or tried to anyway. I’ll get back to you whenever. 

*beep*

“Cloud what the fuck is going on? Call me back,” Leon says before hanging up. He tries to call again and gets the same voice message.

The car horn honks again.

“Fuck me,” Leon mumbles. He grabs a jacket and slips on his shoes. His hand is on the doorknob when he pauses long enough to snag one of the emergency bags from the front closet before heading out the door. He'd rather be overprepared than not for whatever it is that has Zack all riled up.

And of course, he sees Rufus Shinra’s two million gil mako-sucking death trap of a car in his driveway.

Leon opens the passenger door and doesn’t really show how happy he is that Rufus isn’t also in the car. Small favors.

Zack's face looks half-empty like he's the stress pulled him right out of reality and dropped him in the ocean. He pulls out of the driveway a little haphazardly, but Leon doesn’t call him out on it. He can tell Zack’s not really with it; he probably should have offered to drive.

“Does Noct still live with Prompto?” Zack says absently.

Of course Zack’s back to talking about things that make no sense. Leon doesn’t want to snap at him; he really doesn’t. So he tries to pull Zack back into their old conversation. “Yeah, but Zack what the fuck is going-"

“Address?” Zack interrupts.

Leon scowls. “Do not cut me off again. Ever.” He didn’t snap at Zack, but his voice was steady and dark. Leon’s managed to shift his whiny internal monologue into a fairly appropriate communication style. Another small favor.

Zack wilts a bit and bites his lip. “Sorry. Forgot about that. I just… no, I am sorry. No excuses, but Leon we gotta go .”

Leon isn’t even sure where they’re going or why. Zack’s energy is off for sure; he's bouncing all over the place emotionally. He’s clearly disturbed about something, but Leon just doesn’t know how much of what he’s saying is real.

“Noct lives like a half hour away; just head back into the city,” Leon answers calmly. He takes a deep breath. “Tell me what happened.”

“I told you-” Zack tries, but now Leon cuts him off. 

“Yeah, and you also said you can’t be compromised for this, which means you need to be able to calmly and clearly explain what’s going on.” Four years of fatherhood have done wonders for Leon’s communication skills.

“Ghosts, Leon. I talked to a fucking ghost that sounded like my best friend.”

“Well Cloud’s not dead, so you didn’t talk to a ghost. Just…figure out a way to explain what ghosts and two-way radios have to do with Cloud and Sora. I’m gonna call Noct.” 

Leon sees Zack start to protest before wilting again. He pulls back onto the state road and sighs out a half-assed “fine.”

—

It takes him a long time, but Noctis manages to pull his eyes open. There’s something wrong with his head though, or…maybe his eyes fell out? He can only see gray smudges. There’s something wet dripping onto his face, and something warm is pooling in his left ear. It smells like fire, and his body feels heavier than gold at this point.

His eyes fall shut again, and he almost drifts back into oblivion when a loud something screeches from somewhere within two inches of his face.

His body jerks on instinct, and Noct winces as he lands farther to the right. Everything’s heavy, but shouldn’t it hurt, too? Why doesn’t it hurt?

The something screeches again, louder this time, and Noct blinks rapidly, trying to clear the fog from his vision and his brain.

Another screech. Noctis groans and turns away. Maybe whatever that sound is will just eat him. The thing making the sound. The something. Right. That.

“Shut…up,” Noctis grumbles as the screech rings out again. It’s not really getting louder; the ringing in Noct’s ears is fading out.

After a few more seconds, the screeching stops. Noctis feels some form of panic bottom out the floor, and he’s free-falling through exhaustion and headed for unconscious. 

Then the screeching starts again, Noctis jerks the wrong way, and he lands closer to the noise this time. It’s really not that loud at all; he doesn’t understand-

It’s not screeching, he realizes; it’s a chocobo. Well, the chocobo noise that Prompto sets as Noct’s default tone every chance he can get. But why is he hearing it now? 

Noct feels a wave of nausea. The chocobo noises stop abruptly, and Noct notices his eyes are closed.

REEE! REEE! REEE!

The cawing. It’s a ringtone.

Is…is someone calling him?

He opens his eyes and-

::[black and white robes]::

::[a white fluffy tail]::

::[soft fur]::

::[that familiar smile]::

::”Radio in, little prince. The soldiers need your help!”::

-his phone is right next to his face. It’s lighting up, and there’s that goofy picture of Leon with chocolate icing on his nose and forehead, courtesy of the five-year-old in his lap. He needs to answer but-

::[a small cry]::

::”It looks like our prince fell apart again.”::

::[a damp nose against his cheek]::

::Hurry, Noct! I answered for you! He can help!::

Reality comes back, and the new sound breaks through the fog. “Noct? You there?”

That’s…Leon; he’s here, somewhere. Maybe? Noct thinks his eyes are closed again.

“Noct?”

He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out; he coughs instead. It really smells like smoke-

::“Little prince, your knight is calling. Don’t let him down.”::

He keeps coughing.

“Noct?! Babe, are you there?”

“Y-yeah,” he wheezes out. “Can’t…can’t see you.” 

There’s a sigh. “I called you, Noct. Are you half asleep on the couch?”

“No… I don’t think…,” He coughs again, and he can feel something jostle in his chest. “…don’t think I’m h-home. Too much…smoke?”

“What? Smoke where?” The voice sounds urgent now. He can’t remember who it is.

“Hurts to…look. Did…my eyes really fall out?”

It’s very quiet for a moment. “Noct…,” but the voice just trails off. There’s weird rustling, and then- “Hey, bud can you tell me your name?”

What? Shit, that might not have been out loud.

“What?” Noct tries again.

“Your name; what is it?”

“I’m… I’m Noctis, right? Did other-” cough “-stuff fall out my head, too?”

There’s a stifled whine in the background, but the voice continues anyway. “And what’s my name, Noctis?”

“You’re…,” and Noct realizes this isn’t the person who was talking before. This is someone else. “It’s Zack,” he says.

“There you go! Now, can you open your eyes and tell me what you see?”

He’s catching up now; he thinks he understands. “Zack…something’s wrong.”

Another sigh. “I know, but I’m not there so Noct I need you to try your very hardest to tell me what you can see.”

“Okay.”

It takes him a while to remember how to open his eyes again, but when he does the world is less blurry. And a lot more on fire.

“There’s um-” cough “-fire and smoke. Lots of it. It’s…somewhere near me.”

“Are you outside or inside?”

Oh. He realizes it makes way more sense if he’s lying on something outside than it does if he’s lying on a bed or a couch. That would explain why the ground is so cold. “Out,” he mumbles. His eyes drift close again without his permission.

“Can you hear anything?”

“...You,” Noct replies. He’s tired, and he doesn’t want to talk anymore. 

“C’mon, Noct. Anything else?”

He almost sighs, but it comes out as a cough again. There’s something wet in his chest. And his face is more wet now than it was a minute ago. “Rain,” he says. “I think it’s… starting to rain. Can feel it”

“ Fuck.”

With his eyes closed he can almost focus. There’s something else; another noise? 

// "No don’t-"

"Ta-da! I’m a marshmallow!" //

“Marshmallows,” he says softly. 

“What?” 

// "That’s an alright impression, but your dad is gonna freak if he sees all that fluff in your hair, Sor." //

Noct’s eyes open wide, and he quickly pulls himself up. His chest and back scream at him, but he fights through it. He can hear it better now, that other noise. It’s-

“Oh my gods,” Noct says.

“Noct?” 

-crying. He left him alone. Shit.

“SORA!” Noctis screams.

—

It’s been too long. Noct was supposed to be back by now. He said he was gonna find Cloud and come right back. He promised. And Noct doesn’t break promises.

Sora bites his thumb knuckle. He knows he’s not supposed to bite his hands, but-

His dad’s not here, and everything feels so much scarier.

So he bites his thumb and tucks his head back down into his knees. His other arm is cradled against his chest with the sling Noct made him out of his sweater before he…left.

But he’s coming back. And he’s gonna bring Cloud, and then they can all go find his dad. Or maybe Dad will find them.

“Dad?” He whispers out the question. He’s almost nine; so he’s not supposed to be scared when he’s alone, but his dad’s not here.

“Dad?” He calls out louder this time. He doesn’t want to look up and see his dad isn’t there. He… he needs his dad.

“Dad!” It’s more a mix of a whine and a cry. He feels bad. His arm hurts, and he feels bad, and his dad’s not here.

“DAD!?” He screams so, so loud, that it hurts his ears and his throat. He calls out again and again and again until all he can do is hiccup and shake while tears dampen his torn-up jeans.

*beep*

The noise startles him, and Sora’s head lifts too fast, making the world swim a bit. He looks around, but-

There’s no Noct.

There’s no Cloud.

There’s no dad.

*beep*

He wants to close his eyes. 

*beep*

He opens them-

::[a damp nose on his arm]::

There’s a phone balanced on his knees. It wasn’t there before, was it? He leans forward just a bit to look at the screen.

[Unknown Sender] Sora! Noct needs your help!

But… Noct went to help Cloud. 

[Unknown Sender] I know :( But you can help, too!

“How?” Sora whispers. He doesn’t know how the messages can hear his thoughts and his voice at the same time. 

[Unknown Sender] I’ll connect you with your dad, and then he can help.

Sora’s face scrunches up. “Dad’s not here,” he whines.

[Unknown Sender] I’m special, so I can help him hear you! All you have to do is introduce yourself. 

He bites his thumb. “You promise?” 

[Unknown Sender] I promise! 

“Okay,” he says. “M-my name is Sora Leonhart. I wanna talk to my dad.”

There’s a strange static coming from the phone. It sounds elongated and distorted like reality is twisting itself around just to bring his dad to him. He doesn’t understand, but he hopes that it works.

“Sora?”

His eyes go wide. “Dad?” He whispers again; he doesn’t want to have tried too loud if…if-

“Sora, I’m here-"

“Dad,” Sora whines, his voice cracking. He wants the tears to go away, and he wants his Dad to come here instead. “Dad can you- can you help? Can you come help? Please?”

“I’m on my way. I’ll find you, and everything will be safe again. Everyone will be safe.”

“Dad,” Sora hates it, but he can’t stop crying, “You- you need to help N-Noct! He went- he doesn’t break his promises!”

It’s quiet for a moment. “He promised to come back, but he’s not there with you right now, right?”

“Mhm,” Sora replies. He doesn’t think you can drown in tears, but he doesn’t know for certain either.

“Noct… I think he’s hurt. Sora, are you hurt?”

But all his brain wants to do is cry.

—

“Sora?” Leon tries again. He’s staring at the car radio in Rufus Shinra’s car; he’s talking to his son through a one-way radio. 

Ghosts, Zack had said. Leon internally shakes his head. No. Everyone’s alive.

But…he still has to check. “Sora, please are you hurt? Can you tell me?”

“A-arm and…and there’s something….Noct said he was scared to b-bring me because he couldn’t carry me.” His voice sounds so small and exhausted, and the slight distortion clues Leon in that Sora’s got his fingers in his mouth again. 

Leon’s stomach sinks. “You can’t walk?” 

There’s some rustling as Sora replies, “No, I can… but everything…it’s too much. I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry I let Noct go out alone. I’m so so sorry-”

“Sora-”

“Please, don’t be mad,” Sora says halfway through a hiccup. “I’m- I’m sorry-”

Leon can feel himself shaking. Sora’s overstimulated clearly, and he’s pretty sure that’s why Noct left without him. It makes sense; Sora can’t handle physical contact when he gets overwhelmed. And if he’s not in a state to walk, Noct would have told him to wait somewhere safe, right? 

Another voice coats the car. “Fuck, Zack, I can’t find him!” It’s Noctis; Leon forgot he was still on the line.

“C’mon Noct. Stay with me; stay focused,” Zack pleads. Oh the irony, Leon thinks to himself.

“Sora!” Noct yells before coughing again. Leon knows that cough; he almost always heard it after Galbadian soldiers ambushed his unit, which was all the fucking time. There’s blood pooling in Noct’s lungs. Slowly, he’s guessing, but it’s there. Can Sora hear Noct through the radio?

Leon shifts his attention back. “Can you hear anyone calling your name, Snowball?”

Sora whimpers. “No. It’s so quiet… I don’t like it.”

“I know, kid, I know. But I’m here with you, alright? I promise-”

Suddenly there’s a very loud, resounding explosion, and Leon hears it both through his phone speaker and the radio. Sora’s screaming in absolute terror, and Noct’s-

“Noct?!” Zack yells. “Noct, what was that?”

“Dad, please,” Sora begs. “Please help, please .”

“Close your eyes, Sor. Safe place. I’m here,” Leon says. “We’re in that tiny cave near the beach. It’s safe.” He feels like he’s gonna rip apart, but he can’t lose it. Sora needs him. Noct needs him. Cloud-

*beep*

“Rufus texted back,” Zack says, shoving his phone in Leon’s face. “Is it the Wastes or somewhere else? There's that weird spot outside Rocket Town and that fissure north of Balamb-”

“He’s… somewhere between Radiant Garden and Twilight Town. It’s the outskirts, but…,” and Leon’s voice trails off. He bites his lip. “How’d all three of them get out there?”

“There aren’t old bridges in Radiant Garden,” Zack says. His eyes are glued to the road, but the skin on his is pulled tight from his grip on the wheel. “Cloud said a bridge collapsed. He must not be there.”

Leon’s phone speaker rustles. “You…found Cloud?” Noct’s voice doesn’t have much hope. He also sounds…different. Like he’s even more hurt.

“He tried to call earlier, but he didn’t make any sense,” Zack replies. “Noct, do you remember what happened? At all?”

“Not…really. Wasn’t a bridge though. I think…Cloud called me? Yeah, he…he said Sora was…,” but Noct just stops talking.

“Noct?” Leon whispers.

There’s a choked gasp and more coughing followed by the sound of him retching. It takes Noct almost a full two minutes to really breathe. 

“You okay, Noct?” Zack tries.

He avoids the question entirely, but at least his voice sounds more certain. “I think Cloud’s… Cloud’s confused? He called me earlier, but all of the voice messages were just static. I got a message that he was hurt when I already had Sora in the car. But when we went to find him everything just broke.”

“Dad?” Sora’s voice is so soft. 

Leon didn’t even notice that he’d checked out. “I’m here. I won’t leave you alone.”

“I think…there’s someone…,” Sora says, trailing off.

Leon’s eyes widen. “Is it Noct?”

Sora gasps, and there’s a clattering sound followed by more rustling.

“Sora? Sora!” Leon can’t breathe. “Sora!”

And then Sora’s yelling. “Cloud!” 

Chapter Text

To say Cloud was dozing on the job was…true. But this wasn’t his actual job. He’s just doing the Turks a favor. 2000 gil for a “delivery” in Insomnia where all he has to do is drop off a “package” and then “check out the sights” around town. He put a bullet in a trafficker’s head delivered the package and found and put down any accomplices skimmed through a couple of shops for a few hours. Cloud did most of that half-asleep, and then he found a corner booth in a bar, ordered water, and put his head down on the table. There’s one more guy shop he needs to kill wants to check out before the long ride back home.

“Your water, sir,” the server says, placing a glass on a square napkin before leaving. Cloud doesn’t bother sitting up.

He hasn’t been doing very well; he hasn’t talked to Zack in a few days, and he’s been lying to Leon and Noct about what he’s been doing. Yeah, now and then he goes to the shop and helps Cid out with some of the auto repairs, but he’s been calling Vincent for missions more and more, even though he’s not supposed to do that anymore. He’s a freelance mechanic, a substitute martial arts teacher, and a delivery boy now, and he has been for the last three years. He’s not a trained reconnaissance specialist and assassin-for-hire soldier anymore, and he promised Zack he’d stop working as a mercenary a year after that. 

Cloud snakes his hand over to the glass and grips it, but he waits a moment before sitting up. The glass is slightly warm despite the cold radiating out from the inside. He thinks it might be better if he just curled up in a ball in an alley for an hour. He still wouldn’t sleep, but at least he’d feel safer. He’s a smaller target for the guilt and shame arrows that are constantly pointing at his head.

Eventually, Cloud sits up; he squints at the amber lighting as he pulls the glass to his lips. He takes a moment to smell the rim before drinking anything. He has this thing with glasses where sometimes they smell like nothing, and other times they smell putrid. He’s never met anyone else who notices it.

Why is he thinking about this again?

It’s only mid-afternoon, so the bar’s basically dead. Cloud finishes his water and flops over onto the table again. He’s working so he can’t sleep, but he can doze for a few minutes. He closes his eyes and breathes.

::”Psst!”::

Cloud cracks an eye but then just closes it again. He’s not in the mood.

::”Psst!”::

Plus he’s working, so it’d be unethical to divide his attention.

::”Psst!”::

Even though he is pretty bored. Maybe he could just-

Someone clears their throat above him. Cloud lifts his head and squints his eyes again.

“Would you like more water, sir?” He thinks it’s the server, but his eyes aren’t focusing enough for him to see her face.

“No, I’m good,” he replies awkwardly. He sees a small smudge shift out of his vision. 

Cloud sits up and slides the base of his palms across his forehead in separate directions. Maybe he should just get all of this over with.

::”Psst!”::

Or maybe he could lay back down. He settles for resting his elbows on the table and leaning against his hands.

There’s a weird snapping sound somewhere behind him. 

Cloud flinches and silently moves his hands down from his face and listens hard. He can hear two voices in the room with him, but it doesn’t sound like either of them even heard the noise.

He casually stands up and pretends to stretch his legs, turning slightly to the side so he can scan the room. There are three people: a bartender, the patron engaged in conversation with him, and his server who looks like she’s playing a game on her phone near the kitchen entrance. When he goes to sit back down, Cloud notices tiny numbers written on his napkin. He pulls it closer. 

1279 - 1262

Cloud shifts a bit and glances at the server again before leaning back. He should probably finish up.

::"He's not listening!”::

::"I think you’ll have to do more than throw out sibilants to get his attention.”::

::"Ugh, fine.”::

Cloud’s phone vibrates once in his pants pocket. He doesn’t reach for it. He just sits there in the booth, listening. The two men at the bar are talking about whiskey, and the server sounds like she’s tapping on her phone.

::"Why won’t he answer me?::

::"Whining is not becoming of you, little prince.”::

::"Yeah, yeah.”::

Cloud’s phone vibrates again. He’s working right now; he needs to focus.

::"I feel like he’s doing this on purpose.”::

::"Are you so surprised? He’s appeared rather busy as of late.”::

::"I thought he was taking a break; I don’t know what he’s waiting for.”::

Cloud hears what he thinks is the far kitchen door swing open, and less than ten seconds later it opens again. There are light footsteps striding at a languid pace, most likely fueled by indifference. 

“Here’s your order,” a young feminine voice says. He’s pretty sure it’s the server; she doesn’t sound older than twenty. “Need anything else, Mr. Rhapsodos?”

::"Oh, fuck. Not this guy again.”::

“No, I believe we’ll be fine. You’re free to leave,” the older, somewhat lyrical masculine voice replies. Rhapsodos is a bartender? Cloud thinks to himself. He’s glad he didn’t order a drink.

“Awesome,” the server says.

“Thank you for the meal,” the other man says. His voice is much deeper than the other two and far more relaxed.

“Uh…you’re welcome?” the server replies shallowly. “I just brought it out to you, dude,”

“Goodbye, Iris,” the first masculine voice scolds.

“Hmmf,” the girl responds. The footsteps travel across the room; they sound heavy but still bright and slightly squishy on the dingy tile. Cloud sees the server walk passed his booth, but her eyes are on her phone. She stops and looks up when she reaches the door and turns around. She has a strange look on her face. “Mr. Rhapsodos?” she asks.

A tired sigh follows. “Yes, Iris?” Rhapsodos sounds unnecessarily exasperated, and Cloud would know, considering how he was the most anally charged platoon leader he’d ever encountered.

She winces slightly and bites her lip. “Are you… still hiring people?’

“Iris,” he replies, but he doesn’t continue right away. He doesn’t sound annoyed now; he’s hesitant. Cloud’s eye twitches as he slips a hand in his own jacket.

“I-I’m just asking ‘cause my older brother is looking for some nighttime hours,” the server replies. She looks very uncomfortable, but Cloud can tell she’s trying to smile all the same. “He wants to know if you need any help after 17:00.”

Cloud tenses slightly. He checks his watch; that’s not a lot of time, and he still doesn’t have eyes on the target. The server, however, can certainly see Cloud, but her eyes haven’t shifted in his direction. She’s focused entirely on the two people at the bar.

“Why Genesis, you didn’t tell me you were hiring more people! I’m not sure I’d risk hiring siblings,” the deep voice replies laxly. “But I’m sure you already know that.”

Rhapsodos sighs again. “Can we talk about this another time?”

Cloud can’t wait anymore.

The woman clenches her fist. “But-”

Cloud shifts his head just enough to get the girl’s attention, but she doesn’t look at him. Cloud’s about to get up when a crash comes from the other side of the room. The server looks alarmed.

“Ignis?” Rhapsodos calls out. “Are you alright?” There’s no reply, but Cloud hears footsteps moving away. “If you’ll excuse me,” he says. A moment later the door near the kitchen swishes open and then closes again.

Something shifts, and suddenly Cloud’s so much more aware of how the air feels wrong.

“You’re not a very good actor, my dear,” the deep voice near the bar remarks half a second later. “That was dreadfully dull.”

The woman’s face drops to a scowl. “Fuck you, Izunia.”

The man laughs. “Well that’s not very-”

Cloud quickly gets up and pulls his custom revolver out. He swings around and points it at the man. “Are you finished?” he says, his eyebrow quirked.

“My, my, my what do we have here? Has one of Valentine’s lap dogs come to perform a trick?” He leans against the bar and rests his head on his hand, his lips wide and upturned like a maniac. He probably knew Cloud was there the whole time.

But Cloud ignores him anyway. “These bullets are silver.”

“Yes, and the sky is not the world’s ceiling. These are obvious statements, Cloud Strife. What other bullets would you even bother to aim at me? Lead?”

Of course, the guy gets to know Cloud’s name, but Cloud’s pretty sure his briefing didn’t leave that part out. Even so, he should still remember the guy’s name, right? “You chose Genesis as a cover even though you knew I was coming. Why?”

The man smiles wider. “Why? For the entertainment!” he says, gesturing haphazardly with his other hand. “Loveless is such a delight, don’t you think? You’ve seen it several times at this point, haven’t you, Cloud?”

He doesn’t want this guy under his skin, but he’s there all the same, and Cloud hates it. “Why can’t you just stay dead?” Cloud mumbles. He knows that he knows this man; they’ve fought before, but why can’t he remember his real name?

The man’s smile stretches unnaturally wide, and his eyes leak that familiar black drainage. “The same reason why you can’t fully die. Stubbornness, maybe? Or poor luck?”

He’s getting that itch that the rules are changing, and something’s not right. Cloud feels like the walls are wheezing. It’s like the room is suffocating because the air is thick with poison. “Shut up,” Cloud says. Fuck, he waited too long earlier.

The man finally stands up and slowly makes his way across the room. Cloud’s feet feel welded to the floor. It’s like a gear slips off its track in his head, and he suddenly can’t remember what he’s supposed to do about it. Why doesn’t he have anything to defend himself with?

“Oh dear,” the man says with feigned concern. “What ever shall Cloud Strife do without his memories? Will he haunt the hallowed halls of his cold apartment in Radiant Garden like a good little ghost?”

“Shut up!” Cloud yells. He feels threatened, almost like he’s backed into a corner. There’s something wrong, he can feel it. The lights flicker ominously, and strange dark shadows pulse in the corner of his vision. Someone’s saying something behind him, but Cloud can’t understand the words.

The man stops a few feet away from him. “Or will he wander the Wastes outside Midgar like a child, forever lost without his mother’s guidance?”

“Fuck,” Cloud whispers. The noises behind him are getting louder, but they don’t make any sense. It feels like one source, but the tones sound bloated and strained.

“Oh, you poor thing!” The man exclaims as inky liquid leaks out of his mouth. He extends a hand. “Would you like me to make you feel better?”

“SHOOT THE GUN!” someone screams.

The clarity hits him like a freight train. He fires, and the bullet lands right between the man’s eyes. His figure starts to waver and flicker, like a projection running out of light. He melts into thin air.

The room expands, no longer stifled by rot and decay, but Cloud still feels sick.

“Gods, Cloud, why’d you take so long?!” Someone grabs Cloud’s arm and yanks him around. He sees a small face framed with short, dark hair.

Cloud stares at the woman awkwardly. He never introduced himself, and he has no idea who she is. He takes a few steps away from her.

“Cloud?” she asks. She looks confused. “What’s wrong?”

“How do you know my-”

A door slams open, and both Cloud and the woman turn to look towards the kitchen.

Genesis Rhapsodos strolls in, his infamous glare trained on Cloud.

“You have less than a minute to explain what you are doing in my bar, Cloud Strife.”

Genesis acts tough, but Cloud’s always found the bravado abnormally easy to ignore. “Vincent Valentine. Hi, by the way.” Cloud offers a half-hearted wave as he slips his gun into his side holster instead of the jacket. But…wasn’t there something else-

::“Ooof, I always feel like I fall into these moments at the exact wrong time.”::

“What?” The woman asks. She turns to Genesis and gives him a hard look. “You know Cloud ? Since when?”

There’s something scratching the back of Cloud’s head, but he doesn’t know how to reach for it. He focuses on the immediate concern and steps further away from the woman and closer to Genesis. He’ll take a toxic hero complex over a stranger any day. 

Genesis gives Cloud a look while he crosses his arms. “I haven’t seen him in almost 7 years. We worked in Midgar together for a time and shared the same circle of friends.”

Now the woman crosses her arms and gives him an annoyed glare. “Elena never mentioned you.”

“Yes, well she joined and subsequently defected two years after I’d already left,” Genesis says absently. He’s still eyeing Cloud. It feels like someone’s poking needles in the side of his skull. “Regardless, you’re fired, Iris. I don’t associate with the Turks.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not a Turk; I’m an Amicitia, jack-ass. And I wasn’t gonna keep working for you anyway. C’mon, Cloud, let’s go.” She turns to leave.

Cloud, however, shifts even closer to Genesis, who, in response, steps away from Cloud and closer to the kitchen door. He doesn’t need Genesis’ protection; he just needs some distance. “I’ve never met you,” he says to the woman.

She scrunches her eyebrows. “Dude, I was right behind you earlier. You saw me from the booth!”

He…did? He was in a booth? When?

::“I hope none of you expect me to fix this.”::

::“Wouldn’t even dream of involving you in the first place.”::

Cloud’s brain itches. He doesn’t offer up any response, and he doesn’t know if he’s meant to be following both conversations anymore.

But now the woman’s looking at him strangely. “Cloud,” she asks as she lifts an arm towards him, “are you alright?”

He doesn’t understand.

“Iris,” a new voice calls from behind them. Cloud turns and spies Ignis Scientia’s head poking out the kitchen door. “I think you should head home. I’m sure your father would like to speak to you, as would Regis.”

She lets out a quick breath of frustration. “Fine. But I’m talking to you-” she points directly at Cloud, “later tonight.” When Cloud doesn’t waver, Iris rolls her eyes before quickly making her way out the door. Genesis follows behind her and latches the door shut.

“I actually need to head out,” Cloud says. He thinks he might pass out, and he wants to do that in a back alley alone. If he manages to curl up in a ball before blacking out then that’s a bonus. “I still need to-”

Genesis sighs in the most unnecessarily dramatic way, and, even half out of his mind, Cloud still finds it draining. “You’re still infected, aren’t you? That’s why Valentine sent you; he didn’t want to risk anyone else.”

Ignis walks towards them. “Infected?”

“It’s nothing,” Cloud says. He turns his attention back to Genesis. “And I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

::“He takes after me so much; I might start crying.”::

::“I think I agree, little prince.”::

Cloud wants to roll his head into a meat grinder. No, he doesn’t. He wants someone to stitch his brain to this reality and sever the ties that stretch to other places. 

Ignis gives him a pointed look. “You didn’t recognize Iris Amicitia despite relying on her to signal you when it was safe to engage your target. Is that why you didn’t act accordingly?”

Cloud runs a hand through his hair and scrunches his face when he finds it sweaty. The exhaustion from earlier is still eating away at him, and the walls pulsing like heart muscle isn’t making the dizziness and nausea any better. He feels like the memories are falling out of his head, so he leans back on training and uses vague answers to cover up his ignorance. “Things got out of hand, but it wasn’t terrible. I didn’t need any help.”

“You didn’t fire your gun until she screamed at you!” Genesis spits. “Your skin is pallid, your gaze is unfocused, and you’re swaying like a town drunk. You're obviously still sick.” Genesis shifts his attention to Ignis. “Is he always like this?”

Ignis furrows his brow. “Not usually, no.”

“I’m right here,” Cloud says, but his ears are starting to ring. He should have slept while he had the chance.

::“If I’m being honest, he doesn’t really seem like he’s anywhere anymore.”::

::“Still didn’t ask your opinion on it.”::

But Cloud also thinks sleeping might have made the commentary worse somehow. Shit, did someone say something?

Cloud blinks rapidly. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Genesis looks incredibly unamused. “Your body is here, but clearly your head is still floating in that mako tank,” he quips. “Zack probably should have left you there to rot with the rest of them.”

::“Shit.”::

Cloud raises his gun and shoots Genesis in the head. The bullet whizzes straight through him, but he doesn’t deteriorate.

“That gun,” Genesis says, “kills daemons. It doesn’t work on spirits or ghosts.”

::“Was still worth shooting him for that comment. Nice one, babe.”::

“Damn,” Cloud says, but his voice is slurring. “I’ll need to…,” he tries to speak, but the room is getting dark. He reaches out a hand to the bar and leans on it. “...need to do some maintenance,” he says breathily. It feels like there’s water in his lungs. "And it does work...," but he just starts coughing. 

Ignis starts towards him, but Genesis holds up a hand. “If he’s still infected-”

“I’m not,” Cloud wheezes. Why is it so hard to breathe? “Haven’t been for…years now.”

“Then turn that gun around and put a bullet in your own head,” Genesis says. His face is cold and vacant, so he probably means it.

::“Wow. I may be a lot of things, but I was never that sadistic.”::

::“The next time I hear you musing on how to martyr the little prince with thirteen weapons colliding through his chest I’ll be sure to re-evaluate your barbarity.”::

“Haha,” Cloud says. His legs feel like noodles. “You know, Gen, I never…really liked you.” The edges of his vision are blurring into unfamiliar colors.

“Likewise,” Genesis replies with a scowl. “Hurry up and pass out already so I can check for myself.”

Cloud groans and slides down to the floor with his back to the bar. “Don’t fucking…shoot me,” he mumbles out.

“No promises. If you have the option, try not to wake up.”

–

Ignis crosses his arms while Genesis moves over to Cloud and lays a hand on his chest. He’s had doubts that Genesis was still human for some time, but the confirmation doesn’t surprise him. He’s wondered for years whether or not Zack and Cloud are the only ones who escaped Midgar alive. He thinks Genesis losing his body is as good a punishment as any for the man’s acerbic communication style.

Genesis scoffs and drops his hand from Cloud’s chest. “Well, he wasn’t lying. He’s not infected anymore, but the exposure strained his systems.” Genesis stands up and wipes his hand with a towel from the bar. “He’s all yours, Ignis.” He starts walking back towards the kitchen when Ignis catches his arm in a firm grip.

“What was he previously infected with?”

Genesis turns his head to stare at Ignis’ hand on his arm until the man lets go. “An old daemon sickness. Orphan recruits in Midgar did basic training with the infantry, and then most of them got sent to the science program immediately after that. Cloud, Zack, and I were three members of that program at various times, myself and Strife were there the longest. Nevertheless, it was a failure.”

Ignis raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

Genesis rolls his eyes. “The subjects either didn’t respond to the treatments or died from…complications. One subject set a lab on fire and killed dozens of people in his delirium, including the entire staff. They closed the program after that and…euthanized the remaining subjects.”

“You don’t sound very sure of yourself.”

“Yes, well, I didn’t survive that long and left immediately after my body failed. The program closed a year after I moved here. Furthermore, one of the allegedly euthanized subjects is currently unconscious on the floor of my establishment so clearly something went wrong. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Genesis says as he continues towards the kitchen door. 

Ignis moves closer to Cloud and places a hand across his head. He’s always been pale, but the dark bags under Cloud’s eyes are unfamiliar. “I’ll have to call Noct,” he mumbles to himself. “Genesis, could you-”

“No,” he says before slamming the kitchen door behind him.

Ignis rolls his eyes. “If I ever find out who killed you, I’ll cook them a four-course meal.”

“Can you…just get me a glass of water instead?” 

Ignis’ eyes shift to see Cloud’s burning blue ones cracked open. Ignis smiles weakly. “Welcome back,” he says.

“Uh-huh,” Cloud mumbles. He rubs a hand down his face and wiggles his legs. “What’s…going on? Ugh,” Cloud groans. “Fuck, I gotta get home.”

Ignis has never been good at intuiting Cloud’s wellness. Granted, he has less than a dozen interactions for experience, but at the end of the day, Cloud is incredibly hard to read. Yes, he’s quiet, and sometimes a little absent, but he doesn’t just forget like this. “I’m sure Noctis wouldn’t mind collecting you,” Ignis replies. “I’ll call him in a moment.”

“Don’t bother,” Cloud says, blinking hard before pushing himself up and forcing Ignis out of his space. “Noct’s picking up Sora from school, and I can’t just leave my bike here. I’ll be fine.”

“You look exhausted,” Ignis says. “You’re more likely to crash when piloting heavy machinery while fatigued and ill. Not to mention the stress of the last few hours.”

“Yeah, well,” Cloud says as he pulls himself to his feet. Ignis is surprised he doesn’t waver. “I’ll take my chances.”

If there’s one thing Ignis does know about Cloud, it’s that he pretends to understand context even if he doesn’t, and sometimes to the point where he’s nodding along to a memory he just doesn’t have. Perhaps a direct approach would be best. “How much do you remember from earlier?”

“This and that,” Cloud replies dully. Ignis tries not to sigh. Direct was not the proper tactic.

Cloud pulls his phone out of his pocket and grimaces. “I was busy,” he mutters under his breath. “Why does he always try to get my attention when I’m busy?”

“Cloud-”

“Shit,” Cloud says, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “I gotta go pick up Sora from school.”

The only other thing Ignis truly knows about Cloud Strife is that the man runs on fewer loose screws than Noctis and his friend Prompto. But Ignis also just watched said man shoot a ghost in the head out of spite, meaning he’ll need to approach the subject lightly if he wants to avoid getting shot.

“Noctis will pick up Sora. He’s already planning on it. But I really think you should stay here-”

But the blond is just shaking his head. “I made a promise.”

Ignis sighs. This isn’t getting him anywhere. Yes, Cloud looks somewhat under the weather, and his focus and attention are scattered across the pavement outside, but he’s not swaying or shaking anymore. Maybe a short delay in his plans might work? Ignis needs to make his argument less interpersonal and more obligatory. “Before you go, I’m sure Regis will want to debrief you as stated in protocol.” Caelum Crown Company protocol anyway.

But Cloud just throws him this half-empty smile, and that’s when Ignis knows he’s lost. “I’m not a soldier; I’m a delivery boy.”

Chapter Text

Cloud adjusts his jacket as he walks out the front door. ‘The Gift of the Goddess’ is such a stupid name for a bar; he hopes the owner, whoever they are, goes out of business.

Cloud makes his way back to his bike across the street, his eyes tracking nothing in particular. He’s clearly in Insomnia, although he can’t entirely remember why. He probably just…did a delivery for Aerith and Tifa or something; yeah, that sounds relevant enough.

But when Cloud shifts to get on the bike, he feels a strange stiffness on the side of his hip. He looks down and sees the old revolver Kunsel designed for him as a favor to Zack. The upper assembly is a near-perfect replica of the classic Mateba auto revolvers, which means the weapon works fine with standard cartridges. Granted, Cloud’s never used standard cartridges because, when on assignment, his targets were mostly daemons and ghosts. But Cloud doesn’t usually bring this specific revolver with him when he does deliveries; he only brings the sidearm Zack bought him three years ago, and it’s that weapon that usually rests on his hip. Did he actually go out and buy cartridges just to use the revolver?

That…doesn’t seem right.

Cloud sits down on the bike, but he pulls the revolver out. The grip is rubber, which is one of the aesthetically different design elements compared to the original Mateba. He can feel the heat coming off the grip through his gloves, but the gun only heats up like that after it’s been recently fired. Cloud slips his left glove off, flips the release, and pops the cylinder out. There are six chambers, but only one cartridge remains. The ballistics specialist who originally trained Cloud (He never actually knew the guy’s first name, but Ansem introduced him as Kinneas, so that’s what Cloud called him.) preferred shotguns and pistols to revolvers, but because Cloud had to use special cartridges, the specialist said Cloud could theoretically label the chambers and only load certain cartridges in specific spots. That way, if he wanted to take the time to reload different rounds, he would know where they are in the cylinder before closing it, and he has the option to pop the cylinder and rotate to a certain chamber before firing at a different target.

But the specialist didn’t design Cloud’s gun; Kunsel did. Kunsel said labeling the chambers and then loading different cartridges would mean Cloud would have to remember where each cartridge was when he fired the gun. Kunsel didn’t want to risk Cloud’s life on an ultra-specific design element, but he still wrote in his scripts to have certain chambers color-coded. There were three silver chambers, one orange chamber, and two black chambers. If anything, Kunsel figured color coding the chambers would help Cloud remember that there are different cartridges he can use for the gun. In the end, he never needed to change cartridges mid-mission because his targets were always the same species. Kunsel never got the chance to design a bullet for the orange chamber anyway, so Cloud only loads five rounds as is. The ballistics specialist preferred literally any gun over revolvers for this very reason, but Kunsel said using a Mateba auto revolver design might decrease the risk of a misfire. 

But that’s never mattered because Kunsel never finished the design for the orange chamber.

Why is he thinking about this?

The remaining cartridge is in a black chamber. Cloud pops it out and sees the black bullet at the end of the cartridge. It’s definitely one of Kunsel’s designs because the bullet itself was clearly handmade, and there’s no reason for a commercial munitions manufacturer to make .454 cartridges with what’s most likely a zirconium alloy for the bullet. There are so many better ways to use zirconium.

Why is he thinking about this?

Regardless, this is one of Kunsel’s zirconium bullets, which, in Cloud’s experience, are generally used for ghost hunting or assassinations. Zirconium bullets, along with a few other unique elements in the rest of the cartridge and a key component in the grip of the gun, can successfully kill (not dismiss, not defeat, not disperse; kill ) a ghost. When fired at a human, it can stop the person from turning into a ghost upon their death. If there’s only one black-tipped cartridge left in the chamber, that means Cloud must have used the other black cartridge. 

But with his gloves off, Cloud can feel that the grip is very hot. He must have fired it more than once, but that means he used other cartridges. The orange chamber is always empty, so that means he used silver.

But even on a standard delivery, there’s no reason to even need a silver cartridge, and certainly not all three of them. It doesn’t make sense. He closes the cylinder and flips the release back in place. 

He just sits there for a moment, staring at his gun. He never even wanted one, but Ansem required projectiles as the weapon of choice in Cloud’s contract. If he had the chance, he probably would have entered the same specialized weapons training program Zack did so he could do missions with swords, but none of the instructors wanted anything to do with him, and it wasn’t like Ansem was gonna just let him go. Eventually, Ansem had Cloud train with one of the veterans from Galbadia Garden that had moved to Midgar. He’d apparently gotten several of them valid visas to enter Midgar, so in return they had to work for him. Kinneas always said he felt like he escaped being a child soldier only to come to Midgar and train child soldiers. Cloud was a week away from eighteen when he met him, but after they got to know each other and Cloud revealed he enlisted by proxy when he was eleven, Kinneas lost respect for Ansem’s entire enterprise. Cloud didn’t have the heart to tell him about Genesis and Angeal.

And everyone already knew about Sephiroth at that point.

There’s something itching in the back of his head, but he can’t figure out what it is. He knows he’s forgotten something, but he doesn’t know why and he doesn’t know how relevant the missing memories are to his current task. He just has to pick up Sora from school, and that’s pretty easy. Whatever fell out of his head might find its way back all on its own. He’s not super confident that will happen, but he can’t really do anything.

Well, he could call someone.

Zack will freak if he finds out Cloud’s carrying the revolver and not his normal sidearm, and Leon’s definitely still at his office, so Cloud hits the third number on his favorites list.

It rings seven times before the voicemail picks up. Cloud leaves a simple message before hanging up. He could probably call one of Noct’s friends in Insomnia, but he’s not super fond of any of them in particular. Plus, none of them know about his memory problems, and he doesn’t want to be the focus of attention.

So he holsters the gun, starts the engine, and heads back east.

-

The area outside of Insomnia is pretty desolate, but that’s because of the climate. It still looks like the area surrounding Midgar, but considering how there’s actually the occasional outpost, and the people aren’t all ghosts, it’s a much nicer area. There were just a bunch of rocks and hills outside Midgar, so everyone just called it ‘the Wastes.’ Probably could have had a worse name than that, but considering how every plate in Midgar collapsed and the run-off from industrial chemicals and, ya know, god-killing toxins, seeped into the soil, everything in and around the area is, at the very least, not alive.

Leide still looks like the Wastes though, and it makes Cloud’s skin crawl.

He remembers how Midgar looked when Zack and him left for the mission in Radiant Garden three years ago. Ansem’s people cleaned up the mess Sephiroth made pretty well, so most of the administration building in the center was still intact. The only major change was that Ansem moved most of his specially trained staff to his newly renovated underground castle. Zack and Cloud only left the compound because they had a mission.

Well, Cloud had a mission. Zack was his bodyguard.

He was supposed to locate, surveil, interrogate, and execute three targets. The first target was a young human woman who’d recently opened a flower shop. She was pretty easy to find and surveil, but…Cloud didn’t really want to interrogate or kill her, so he put it off. Plus, Zack really liked her, and Zack also didn’t subscribe to killing innocent human women back then. Cloud wrote in his report that the woman was already dead when they arrived.

The second target was one Vincent Valentine, but Valentine located and surveilled Cloud and Zack first. Their initial intel said he was probably human, but that was false so Cloud didn’t have the right equipment to dispose of him. He also didn’t really want to do that either, so he just sent a report back to Midgar that Vincent Valentine the human had left the area. 

The third target was a twenty-year-old supernatural that, according to intel, looked and acted like an androgynous human despite that not being the case. Cloud actually remembers leafing through the file with Zack after the briefing. There weren’t any pictures, and the initial report admitted that “interactions” with said supernatural would be “difficult based on contemporary data limitations.” Cloud stopped attending school (if that’s what going to the church in sector 6 once a week for a ‘general education’ meant) when he was eleven, and Zack left at thirteen. The guy who wrote the report was out in the field for the afternoon, so they had to ask his ‘apprentice.’ Cloud remembers being stuck in that grimy broom closet cosplaying as an office for two hours while Zack sang made-up songs to the guy’s less-than-stellar sitar playing. Eventually, the report’s original author came back, and they learned that the supernatural’s initials were NLC and that they were apparently incredibly wealthy despite living in poor conditions with a human roommate. After locating, surveilling, and befriending the target, Cloud sent another falsified report stating that the supernatural with the alias “Naveus Laboro Carcer” had left the area.

There was a fourth target: a young human boy around the age of five. If possible, Cloud was to bring the boy back to Midgar. 

Cloud sighs as he passes the last Lucian outpost before Twilight Town. The initial file on the boy listed Twilight Town as his birthplace, but, upon interrogation, they realized their intel was wrong, and the kid was actually from the islands off the southeast coast. Intel also mentioned the boy was incredibly dangerous, and the file suggested that extraction may lead to more casualties than elimination in the long run. But Ansem requested this target specifically. Children were tedious, but he had plenty of practice grooming child soldiers, so he told Cloud not to worry or ask any further questions. Bring the boy back to Midgar alive; that was his mission.

After engaging the first three targets, Cloud left Radiant Garden one morning to do some light recon in Twilight Town. He’d had a pretty intense fight with Zack the night before.

// “I feel like I don’t know you anymore, Cloud.”

“It’s just part of the job, Zack.”

“Jobs aren’t everything! Work isn’t everything! You don’t have to-“

“Don’t have to what? Follow orders? He’ll kill me Zack.”

“You can’t die. And you didn’t follow your orders for Aerith, Vincent, or Noctis. You even sent false reports back to Midgar to cover their tracks.”

“Well target four is different-“

“His name is Sora.”

“Well Sora is different because Ansem wants him brought back to Midgar. I can’t falsify a whole person.”

“Or you could just leave him be.”

“Why did you even come with me if you didn’t want me to do my job?”

“Because I wanted to get you out! You’re not the same person anymore, Spike, and I don’t want you to-”

“To what? Go crazy and kill everyone and then have to be put down like a rabid dog? If that happens there’s nothing anyone can do to stop me, not even you.”

“So then what do you have to lose by defecting? You’d rather do Ansem’s dirty work instead?”

“Of course not, but I don’t know how to do anything else. I can’t just sit idly by and do nothing for the rest of eternity.”

“Does that make it right then? To kidnap your friend’s son just to make your master happy? He’s five years old.”

“Ansem said-“

“Said what? Did he say the kid is another supernatural in disguise? That he’s likely to murder everyone in town in the next five seconds if we don’t drag him out of here?”

“Zack, you don’t-“

“And do you really think his dad will just let you take him? Or that the townspeople will just watch you tear a family apart?”

“Zack-”

“What are you so afraid of that you would risk the life of almost everyone in this town just to give Ansem another child soldier?” //

A few people in Twilight Town remembered the kid and his father from four years earlier. They only stayed in town long enough to get new identity documents and universal visas, but everyone thought the single dad was “so cute” so they didn’t ask any questions. Besides, people from all over the continent were forging identities after leaving the big cities. 

// “It’s cause of all the crazies out west! There’ve been rumors going around about assassinations. Everyone’s scared of the ‘ghost-killer’ from Midgar. You should probably watch your back or that psycho will come for you, too!”

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.” //

There were some friendlier people in town, too, but they didn’t like Cloud snooping around either.

// “I’d be careful asking too many questions, The boy’s father won’t let anyone come between them, and if he finds out you’re investigating his son, he’ll probably fight back. The guy said he was a child soldier, and he didn’t want his son anywhere near the military regimes further west.”

“I’m not part of the military; I work for a private company that does surveillance and finds missing persons.”

The man looked Cloud up and down, his eyes lingering on the gun on Cloud’s hip. “Sure, kid,” he says. He looks back at Cloud’s face with a look of pity in his eyes. “If you ever want help getting out, just give me a call. The name’s Barret Wallace.” //

The closer Cloud gets to Twilight Town, the more his brain starts to itch. He doesn’t usually reminisce this much, and he still can’t remember what he was doing with his gun in Insomnia. Something’s wrong, and he’s not sure it’s worth indulging his willful ignorance out of laziness any longer.

Twenty minutes later Cloud parks his bike outside the weapons shop in Twilight Town. He calls Noct again, but it still goes straight to voicemail. He leaves another message before heading inside.

There’s a big guy sitting behind the counter with a cat on his lap. He looks up and smiles wide. “Cloud! Nice to see you, man. How’ve you been?”

Cloud tries not to fidget. Wedge is a nice guy, but he’s a lot to deal with. “I’m alright. Barret here?”

Wedge nods and points his thumb behind him. “Yeah, he’s upstairs. You need more rounds?”

Cloud freezes. He’s never ordered cartridges from Avalanche. He’s not supposed to be using his gun anymore.

He really needs to talk to Barret.

“I’m good,” he replies coolly before heading to the rear of the shop and out the back door. It’s late afternoon, so most of the crew is probably out on a hunt. Cloud heads up the rear staircase and heads toward the office. Biggs is inside sitting on a wooden crate with the blade of a huge scythe on his lap. He looks up and gives Cloud a small smile.

“Well, look who it is. What are you doing back here? Don’t tell me you came just to take Jessie out on that date.” 

“Still not interested,” Cloud says, rolling his eyes.

Biggs just laughs. “Yeah, I figured. She’s got a new girlfriend anyway. Are you here for-”

“Actually,” Cloud interrupts, “I wanted to talk to Barret."

Biggs’ smile fades a little. “You alright? You look exhausted.”

“I-” but Cloud stops talking when he sees Barret eyeing him strangely from around the corner. 

Biggs gives him a look before looking over his shoulder. He sighs, stands up, and leans the scythe against the wall before walking towards Cloud. He raises a hand to pat Cloud’s shoulder before pausing and dropping it again. He gives Cloud a firm nod before leaving the room.

Barret frowns at Cloud before scratching the back of his head. “You ever heard of self-care, kid?”

“I’m not a kid,” Cloud mutters. “And I”m fi-”

Barret closes the space between them and leans forward. He looks Cloud dead in the eye before leaning back and sighing. “Your eyes are all messed up again,” the man mutters. “What’d you do today?”

Cloud opens his mouth to respond but then closes it. The room feels weird; are they being watched?

“Cloud?”

“I…,” Cloud tries, but he trails off again. Something’s really wrong. It feels like the walls are breathing. He can see Barret’s mouth moving, but he can’t parse out the words. The itch in his head grows to a mild pain. Cloud squeezes his eyes shut and rubs a hand against his forehead. He doesn’t feel real.

Cloud feels Barret grab his hand and move it away from his face, but he doesn’t open his eyes until Barret puts a hand under his chin and lifts his head.

“Fuck, kid,” Barret breathes. 

“I can’t… it feels like everything keeps falling out of my head,” Cloud whispers.

“Yeah, I bet. Sit down,” Barret says. When Cloud doesn’t move, he grabs Cloud’s upper arm and leads him to the back wall where Cloud immediately slides down and curls up on the floor. “Lemme call Vincent.” Cloud wants to protest, but he’s too busy gripping his knees and trying not to fall through the floor. 

Barret pulls out his phone, taps it a few times, then puts it on speaker. It rings twice before connecting.

“This is Valentine.”

“Did you give Cloud a delivery today?” Barret asks. He’s still staring at Cloud, so the blond just shifts his gaze to the floor.

Vincent’s quiet for a moment. “He was supposed to take out a small trafficking scheme in Insomnia. One of the targets was an Ardyn clone. The mission was a success, but Cloud never checked in afterward. Regis called me to say thanks, but he said Cloud didn’t come back with Iris after the assignment. Apparently, he didn’t recognize her at all.”

Barret scoffs. “His eyes are going green. You could have hired Avalanche instead.” Cloud picks at a loose string on his pants.

“Cloud has Kunsel’s gun.”

“Yeah, but he’s not the only one with Kunsel’s cartridges anymore,” Barret quips. “Biggs used the old scripts to build a mod for my arm.”

“The cartridges only work with Kunsel’s gun,” Cloud whispers. He can feel Barret’s eyes on him.

“Biggs tested it-”

“You don’t have god particles in your arm,” Vincent interrupts. “The only cartridge that might work would be the zirconium ones. The Ardyn clone would have killed you at best.”

Barret’s voice hardens, and Cloud tucks into himself even more. “Yeah, but you didn’t have to send Cloud alone -”

“He asked for the mission.”

“And!?” Barret yells into the receiver. “You think it’s fine to risk Cloud’s life just because he asked for it? He has a kid!”

“And so do you,” Vincent replies calmly. “Either way, the Ardyn clone shouldn’t have caused that much of a problem.”

::“I can’t believe Valentine thought I was a clone.”::

“Shut up,” Cloud mumbles.

“Well something must have happened,” Barret says. Cloud doesn’t think Barret heard him. “Didn’t you hire the Turks for recon?”

Vincent sighs. “I called in a favor from someone already in Insomnia. He said there were three targets: one human, one daemon, and one clone. Normal daemons aren’t a threat, and that was the only authentic supernatural target.”

::“Am I not ‘authentic’ enough as I am?”::

::“You’re a stain, Accursed. Nothing more.”::

Cloud leans his head on his knees. He doesn’t want to hear anymore.

“Well, what’s your backup plan then? Cause I’ve got an ex-soldier curled up on the floor of my stockroom,” Barret asks. “Why didn’t you go with him?”

::“Valentine wouldn’t leave Radiant Garden even under threat of expulsion. He knows he’s as good as dead if he leaves the city limits.”::

Cloud puts his hands over his ears. He can feel blood trickling down his face on the left side. Why are they always so loud ? 

“I can’t engage anymore, Wallace. You’re aware of this. I wouldn’t have put Cloud in danger if I knew there were more variables at play.”

::“It doesn’t seem like Valentine cares much for his employees. Poor Cloud Strife never stood a chance.”::

::“He’s never been very empathetic. He hides in Radiant Garden like a coward.”::

::“Did you ever try expelling him yourself or are you just that lazy?”::

::“Watch your tongue, Accursed.”::

Cloud curls up into himself. He needs to leave. There’s… there’s something wrong. He needs to get help.

::“Who would help a walking corpse?”::

“Who was your source?” Barret asks. “Did they know Cloud was coming?”

::“Valentine hired that ghost to do reconnaissance, didn’t he?”::

“No. He wouldn’t have helped me otherwise,” Vincent sighs.

“Oh for fucks sake, Vincent. Just have Cloud leave the damn gun here! He shouldn’t be doing stuff like this anymore, and you know that.”

::“I’m not sure anyone else could safely wield that weapon. It was never meant for humans.”::

::“And yet you’re still too lazy to take it away from them. You killed the man who made it, but left the object behind.”::

::“I will strike you down where you stand.”::

“You already tried that once, Dragon god, and you couldn’t do a thing to stop me.”::

It’s too much.

“He’s an adult; he can make his own decisions. And like I said, I wouldn’t have sent Cloud at all if I knew-”

::Psst!::

-

Cloud blinks, and he’s outside. On his bike. Colliding through the countryside.

// “Don’t panic. That’s the first thing to remember. Second is take a look at your surroundings. If you’re piloting any type of heavy machinery, do your best to safely stop. After that, find a safe place to contact someone for help. Make sense?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m serious, kid. You ever come to in the middle of nowhere, you call me alright? Don’t care if it’s the middle of the night. Call me, and I’ll come get ya.” //

Cloud will not panic. He’ll check the road around him briefly before coming to a stop at the side of the road. Then he’ll take in his surroundings and decide what to do from there. Brilliant plan. 

He half throws himself off his bike, landing hard on his left shoulder. It’s easy to ignore the familiar crushing sensation of forcing body and bone into solid rock because his heart’s trying to jackhammer itself out of the rib cage. Gravity pulls his right shoulder back to the ground, thus slamming his head and making his brain jostle around like a pocket of marbles. Everything goes black.

-

Cloud’s always felt like waking up after a head injury is like trying to find your way through a dark basement with a flickering amber light as your guide. Everything feels like pure static, but his body’s trying to signal his brain that there’s something out there, waiting for him. He blinks in and out over and over enough that he believes his body’s not fucking with him, but he just can’t hold on to anything long enough to wake up. He reaches out as far as he can, finds something warm, and pulls .

“-llo? Kid? Helloooooo?”

He’s leaning up against a boulder with his legs stretched out. He’s holding his cell phone up to his right ear and staring out at the nothing in front of him. 

“Cloud, you there?”

Oh. Someone’s talking to him.

“Hello?”

“Cid,” Cloud rasps out. He coughs a bit, stuttering and finally remembering that breathing is a thing he can do. “C-Cid…hi.”

The mechanic lets out a long sigh. “Gaia, kid, you scared the life out of me. Are you hurt?”

Cloud doesn’t really process the question. “I…I think I’m lost,” he says quietly. Everything feels bent and twisted out of shape.

“Cloud, are you hurt ?” He says the words slowly but with plenty of emphasis. 

He takes a second to recall what having a body actually feels like, but nothing comes to mind. “Don’t know,” he mumbles. “Can’t really…feel anything.”

“Like numb can’t feel anything or like you’re far away?”

Oh. “‘M far away. Really far.”

“Well give yourself a once over then. Feel anything on your face?”

He tries to reach up with his left arm and immediately feels a sharp pain radiate from his shoulder. He loses his breath and squeezes his eyes shut, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too old for that.

“Cloud?”

“Hurts…my arm,” he shakes out. “Dunno where I am.”

“Stick with me, does your-”

::“Good to see you, Cloud.”::

Cloud’s eyes shoot open, and he’s standing ten paces in front of him, his long silver hair blowing in the wind.

“-at all?”

Sephiroth raises a finger to his lips and smiles.

Cloud feels like his whole body’s about to shake apart. “Cid…”

::“I never expected to run into you of all people out here. Must be my lucky day.”::

“Yeah? What is it?”

::“To think we’ve been so close to each other for years, and I never knew…we’ll have to make up for lost time.”::

“Cloud?”

::“I’ve thought of a wonderful present for you. I’ll give you back an old memory, and you have to find your way through it.”::

“C-Cid…help,” Cloud stutters out, his voice soft and pained. Sephiroth’s moving closer to him, but Cloud can’t see his lips moving at all. Everything just ripples into Cloud’s head like it does with everyone else.

::"I’ll give you something else, too, just for fun. After all, why lose one family when you can lose two?”::

“Cid, please ,” Cloud whimpers softly. Sephiroth crouches down in front of him.

::“I heard you try to call your friend earlier. Noct, was it? He didn’t answer, but you left him a wonderful message. Such a shame he won’t receive it. It’s interesting how your mind just drops off certain details and carries on without them. We’ve already spoken three times, but every time is like repeating the first.”::  

He reaches out and pulls Cloud’s phone out of his hand. He lifts it up a bit before smiling and releasing his grip. The phone lands straight on a rock, and cracks splinter out. The line disconnects as the screen blacks out.

Sephiroth’s hand reaches back towards him, and Cloud’s body tries to flinch, but he can’t move as the man cups his left cheek.

::“Oh, what do we have here? Noisy Astrals again?”::

Sephiroth runs a finger down Cloud’s ear, and the blond lets out a soft sob. The man grabs Cloud’s hair and yanks him forward so their faces are only a few centimeters apart.

::“Now, now, Cloud. No crying out for help. You have a job to do.”::

“F-fuck you,” Cloud mutters. He doesn’t know if his old general is a hallucination or some daemonic-ghost hybrid. He really doesn’t care to find out, but he can’t fucking move .

::“Hmm. Looks like the worst of your infection is gone. That’s too bad. We could have spent so much more time together.”::

Sephiroth drops his hand from Cloud’s hair to squeeze his left shoulder. Lines of pain shoot through his body, but Cloud glares anyway.

“I’ve…had enough of you actually,” Cloud replies. “And get out of my head.”

“Heh, alright,” Sephiroth says. He immediately jumps backward, landing roughly ten meters away. “Let’s begin,” he says before disappearing entirely.

Cloud’s entire body slumps down against the boulder. He looks down at his damaged phone; it, might actually still work, albeit not very well. He goes to reach for it with his left arm before wincing sharply and dropping it back down. Why does he keep forgetting things ? He switches to his right arm and has far more success. 

Cloud turns the phone over in his hand. Tiny shards of glass drop from the cracks and onto his gloves, but when he presses the side button the screen lights up. 

“Thank fuck,” Cloud mutters, but immediately after there’s a cracking sound to his far left. He turns and-

// “Whatever happens, don’t let go of Mama’s shoulders, okay Rain Cloud?” //

It’s his mom. She’s standing about 5 meters away and silently staring in Cloud’s direction. 

There’s a strong pull in Cloud’s chest, and he immediately feels like he needs to get to her. He uses the side of the boulder to pull himself up, and he doesn’t take his eyes off her. He’s scared if he looks away he’ll lose her again. When he’s more or less vertical and only a little dizzy, he stumbles away from the boulder and towards his mother. Each step feels…wrong. There’s a weird ache in his legs, and he can’t feel his left knee at all.

Something else falls out his head, but he doesn’t really know what it is. He flexes his hands into fists and tries not think about the growing void in his head.

Cloud slows to a stop a few steps away and really looks at the woman. She has the same soft blond hair as Cloud, except she’s fashioned it into a long braid. She’s wearing an oversized deep blue sweater and a matching  ¾ length skirt of the same color. Her arms are pulled back behind her like she’s hiding something. Cloud doesn’t actually remember her face, but when he really looks at her it’s like the memory slides right into place. That’s his mom, Claudia Strife, when she was about twenty-five. Cloud would have been four.

A spikey-haired head peaks out from behind Claudia’s legs.

It’s…Sora. He looks a bit younger than he did when Cloud first met him, but he has the same glimmering blue eyes and hair color. The only difference is that the Sora Cloud thinks he remembers almost always smiles; this younger Sora’s face is a mix of a frown and a scowl. 

Why is Sora Claudia’s son instead of Cloud?

He reaches out his left arm but stops halfway. There isn’t any pain ( should there be? ); he’s just afraid to get too close. “...Mom?” Cloud asks hesitantly.

She doesn’t react at all, but Sora tugs on her dress and looks up at her. He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes ask a million questions. When Claudia looks down, Sora points to something just to the left of Cloud.

Cloud doesn’t want to look away from them, but he can feel something’s…not right. He quickly looks behind him, but there’s nothing there. Why does it feel like something’s changed? When he turns back around-

Claudia and Sora are standing in the front doorway to their old house in Nibelheim. Cloud hasn’t lived there for twenty years, so there’s no way he’d remember it. But the tiny entrance with a window on the right side and two small ones up above…it feels like what home was supposed to be. The house and his mom; that’s what home was in Nibelheim.

Claudia gives an uncertain look. She takes a step forward before freezing and dropping down into a squat as she turns around. Cloud sees her put her hands on Sora’s shoulders. “Can you do Mama a favor, Rain Cloud?” When Sora nods, she continues. “Can you go upstairs and grab your softest sweater and bring it back down here?”

Cloud can see Sora give her a curious look. The little boy looks down at the dark gray sweater that’s currently hanging passed his knees before giving Claudia a nervous glance. 

“Please, Cloud? I’m just going to step out and talk to Mr. Auburnbrie, but I’ll be right here when you get back,” Claudia says, but Sora’s already frantically shaking his head. He reaches out and grabs the sleeve of her sweater, twisting the fabric in his tiny fist.

There’s another snap behind Cloud, this one significantly closer and much louder. Instinct has him turning around, where’s his gun -

There’s a man about five meters away from him with his hands raised in surprise. He’s wearing an eye patch over his right eye, and he’s got a nasty scar trailing down his left cheek. His skin is moderately tanned with long black hair slicked to the back. The bottom ends barely hit the tattered red scarf around his neck. He’s wearing a full-length navy blue tunic and trousers with tall black boots that almost come up to the knee. His left eye, still intact, is an unsettling golden yellow hue.

His hands are raised, but he doesn’t look frightened. His face breaks out into a haunted grin as a strange silver weapon appears in his hands. With a flick of the wrist, he adjusts his aim before firing several red lasers just over Cloud’s right shoulder. Cloud shifts his right shoulder back and turns to the left in time to move out of the way. There’s a choked cry, and Cloud turns to see a man kneel over and collapse onto the cobblestone ground. Cloud quickly runs to him, but he rears back when he hears something sizzling and cracking. The man curls on his side and writhes, his hands gripping his neck. There’s no blood, but Cloud can smell the burning flesh. He just stands there staring as the man quickly shivers to a stop as his body completely burns to ash in less than five seconds. All that’s left is an outline of his body burned into the stone.

Cloud curls his hand into a fist. He really fucking wishes Kunsel had finished the design on the orange cartridges for his gun. 

Too bad Cloud only has a gun with one zirconium tipped cartridge inside. 

Cloud turns back to the spirit, his gun raised all the same. It doesn’t feel familiar at all; the spirit feels older and more unstable. Human weapons can’t harm spirits, and they’re incredibly strong against most supernatural munitions. Silver melts and dissolves when it comes into contact with a ghost’s visible form, and, since spirits were never human, zirconium has no effect. The only way to maim a spirit long enough to banish it or run away is with a reflection. An adjustable panel of mirrors on a broadsword works wonders on spirits.

The man leans one of his weapons on his shoulder and points the other at Cloud half-heartedly. “You know, it really aggravated me to find out you survived.”

Cloud doesn’t even flinch. “I’m not very good at staying dead.”

The man laughs. “A pity,” he says as he drops his arm and disperses his weaponry. “Now I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve a lead role in this performance, and I can’t be late for my own theatrical debut.”

Cloud raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, did you want to watch?” The man exclaims dramatically. He disappears and reappears in an instant, this time less than six inches from Cloud’s face. Cloud looks down and sees his own extended arms running straight through the spirit’s chest.

The man leans even closer to Cloud’s face, his eyes asking questions he’s already answered. “Eh, why not?” he mutters before plunging his arm through Cloud’s chest and wrapping his hand around what feels like Cloud’s heart.

The spirit squeezes it idly. “Damn, you’re strong now,” he says. “You’ve got a heart that’s gonna beat itself to death, though. Guaranteed.”

Cloud’s not really listening, what with the weird weightless pressure against his chest and the sudden stop in blood flow. If he was still fully human, he’d probably die now, but he can’t do that anymore, so he just has to stand there and take it.

“No matter,” the guy says. “Let’s go.”

The world goes dark, and Cloud feels his spine twist and bend in a swirl of fire and light. He closes his eyes and screams.

And then it’s over.

His spine untwists, and the pressure in his chest disappears. Everything feels cold but also very very hot all at the same time. He opens his eyes.

He’s not in the center of town anymore; he’s in the Nibel mountains, maybe 200 meters from the bridge that connects the main road with the reactor service drive on the other side of the ravine. He feels frozen solid though, as if this past moment isn’t open to interpretation; he has to watch.

And he does.

He sees Claudia running as fast as she can up the trail with Sora on her back. When she gets to the cliff edge she hesitates, eyeing the bridge cautiously and trying not to look down at the bottom of the ravine.

Then there’s shouting from back down the trail, and Claudia starts making her way across the bridge. There’s a loud wailing following Claudia across the bridge; Cloud knows that cry too well, but he can’t move; he’s trying to pull himself forward, but it’s like there are weights in his boots, and he can’t move his feet at all.

“Fuck!” a harsh voice cries. Cloud sees the man from earlier running up the trail, but he stops dead at the bridge. He doesn’t have the patch over his eye or the slash on his cheek, but his clothes are the same. “Get back here!” He screams at Claudia, but she doesn’t even turn to look back at him.

Sora does, and even from far away Cloud can feel every ounce of absolute terror coming off the kid in waves. 

It doesn’t look like this version of the man has his weapons from moments before; he has a standard short sword that hangs awkwardly from his belt. There’s nothing about him that feels foreign or wrong; whoever the doppelganger is, they’re meant to be here.

Where is here? When is here?

Cloud hears the man scoff as he eyes the rope bindings on the bridge before unsheathing his sword. There are tiny pinkpricks of pain dancing across the back of Cloud’s subconscious, but he just can’t scratch -

Time pauses, the man with the sword frozen mid-swing.

Cloud hears a voice right next to his left ear. “I wonder,” Sephiroth says, “do you think you could save them now if you tried? Or will you leave your son to die in your stead?”

“Thought you…said this was a memory,” Cloud croaks out.

“I did, didn’t I?” Sephiroth says. “Well, I’ll let this all play out then since you’re so keen to watch.”

Time resumes, and the man’s sword connects with the rope ties on one of the posts. Half the line snaps, and the bridge shivers and bends. Claudia half screams, gripping the sides of the rope as hard as she can. Sora’s still on her back. 

“Braig, stop it!” Claudia cries, she can feel the wooden planks beneath straining.

The man doesn’t even look up at her. He swings at the post again, completely severing the ties on that side. The bridge fully tilts to the side, and this time Sora’s the one who screams as the two are pulled to the side, their bodies swinging back and forth while Claudia’s hands slowly slide down the rope.

The man finally turns to look at them. He watches Claudia struggle for a moment, motionless. Then he raises his sword all the way above him, his eyes focused on the cords on the other post.

“Why did you try to leave?” He calls out. “You should have stood your ground and surrendered with everyone else, bitch!” He swings down, his sword severing all the ties instantly. 

A single shot rings out.

The man’s body jerks, and then fully falls forward into the ravine. His head smacks against a rock outcropping on the way down, but he doesn’t stop falling till he reaches the bottom.

At the same time, the bridge swings downwards, the ropes flying directly toward the wall of rock on the other side. Claudia swings right along with it, her body twisting so her chest is parallel with the wall as she slams into it, but somehow she doesn’t let go.

“CLAUDIA!” There’s a different man on the edge of the cliff now, and there’s a gun in his left hand. 

Cloud stops breathing.

Vincent Valentine runs to the edge of the cliff, looking on desperately as the woman just hangs against the rock wall while the child on her back screams. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Vincent says, his empty hand pressed against the empty post. “Cloud listen to me! You need to grab the rocks!”

Claudia’s grip slackens, and the two slide further down; Sora wails.

“C’mon kid please!”

Time pauses.

“I won’t show you how it ends,” Sephiroth says from behind Cloud. “What’s your choice, Cloud? Will you leave your son to die?”

Cloud can feel himself shaking. “Sora wasn’t there. I was with my mom back then, not him.”

Sephiroth sighs before swinging Cloud around and lifting him up by his shirt collar like a rag doll. He looks straight into Cloud’s eyes, his elongated pupils pulsing unnaturally. “He’s here now, dying somewhere. Don’t you remember picking him up from school?”

Cloud’s eyes widen.

“Don’t you remember sitting him on the back of your bike and putting his helmet on his head?”

No…he wouldn’t-

“Don’t you remember that car cutting you off and losing control of your bike? Sora went flying, and you tried to catch him.”

Cloud wants to squeeze his eyes shut and shake his head, but he can’t move. He can’t feel his legs; he can’t feel anything.

“Here,” Sephiroth says. The world shifts, and Cloud realizes Sephiroth’s now holding him over the edge of the ravine. “I’ll let you have another chance to catch him. When you fail, pay attention to how it feels to free fall into a sudden stop. I wonder if you’ll feel the same way I did six years ago.”

Then Sephiroth drops him.

And then there was nothing for a very long time.

-

*beep*

This is Noctis. Please leave a message.

“Hey, Noct, can you call me? I…I’m not sure why, but call me back alright?”

*beep*

::[Message deleted]::

–

*beep*

This is Noctis. Please leave a message .

“Uh… can you call me back, please? Thanks.”

*beep*

::[Message deleted]::

-

*beep*

This is Noctis. Please leave a message .

“Noct, he’s here. He’s here, he came back. You can’t come looking for me, or he’ll kill-”

::[Message corrupted]::

::[Message deleted]::

Chapter Text

To say Noctis was dozing on the job was…true. But this wasn’t his actual job. He’s just doing the Turks a favor. 350 gil a day to go sit and watch the horizon for aliens at Cape Caem? And the chance to provide Rufus with more bullshit alien data while also indulging in his special interest? Noct usually does that for free; every time he goes to Caem, he looks for some random species of sea urchin, gets Prompto to take a picture, and then sends it to Rufus with a caption like “Possible alien specimen? Will do more research.” Look, okay, it’s a little boring being an unemployed marine biologist, and Rufus is a city-certified moron, so Noct will take any chance he can get for some casual fun. Plus, almost all of the Turks are indebted to him in one way or another, so Noct doesn’t really feel bad about squandering their unnecessarily large budget and sleeping on the job.

Noctis Lucis Caelum, the unofficial heir to the multi-biillion gil Caelum Crown Company, may not be royalty, but he’s certainly a royal pest (according to his uncle Cor.)

Astrals, is he tired, though. He didn’t really need Prompto dragging him around town at 8 in the morning just for magic tricks, but Prompto’s gotta scam his employer, too. It’s a ‘two birds one stone’ kind of deal.

“Twenty minutes, Noct!” Prompto calls out from the top of the lighthouse. Noctis groans and covers his eyes with his arm. “I’m serious!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Noct grumbles.

He’s not really in the mood for ‘magic’ today. Sora had nightmares last night, so Noct was up half the night camping out in Sora’s closet with the boy while they played video games. On the drive to school this morning, Sora called Leon and mentioned how he was worried about Cloud and the “silver daemon” again. Lee said everything was fine with him, though, and that Sora shouldn’t worry. So, of course, Sora did not stop worrying.

::You all set, Noct?::

::“Prom said twenty minutes so just be ready in nineteen.”::

:: ＼(^０^)／ ::

Sora’s been…off recently? Usually, Noct does his best to talk the kid through it and help him understand that no, just because you are scared of something happening doesn’t mean it will actually happen, but that’s harder to do when you know Sora’s clairvoyant as shit. 

// “Noct, is Cloud okay?”

“Uh probably? Why do you ask?”

“He sounds scared.”

“...you can hear him, huh?”

“Yeah…do you think Prompto could help us make him some presents?”

“Absolutely.” //

It’s not really a new thing, though. Noct’s known that Sora’s been hearing voices and siphoning energies since before they met; ever since Sora and Leon moved here, though, Sora’s only had to deal with good-natured entities and the occasional semi-human whim fluttering around in his head. The protection charm on the town filters out almost everything else. 

Noct cracks an eye open to look at the morning sky. The sun’s been up for over an hour, but the sky is still a soft blue. He raises an arm out and extends a finger upward, making tiny circular motions. A little white sphere forms at the tip of Noct’s finger. He curls in his index finger before flicking it forward, pushing the sphere up into the sky.

It floats a bit higher up before bursting into dozens of gleaming gold particles. 

Yup. Good ole Nox Fleuret protection charms.

When he was a kid, his dad told him how a long time ago, the Nox Fleurets visited Radiant Garden. The Oracle blessed the city limits as a safe haven for supernaturals; only benevolent beings can find and enter the town. Most of the people who lived in the town were ghosts or really, really young spirits. The charm also blocked magical tracking signals and purged scourge-infested objects in a nearby radius. 

Originally, the charm prevented gods, daemons, and humans from entry, but around a century ago, Queen Sylva returned to town and permitted any gods and humans who maintained a benevolent disposition. She did it as a favor for an old friend so she could raise her children in a safe haven, but it also meant that the masses trying to escape the military regimes out west finally had a place to go besides Midgar.

Which was a good thing, considering how Midgar became a military state forty years ago.

So yeah, Noct’s never worried too much about the kinds of things Sora hears. Noct hears it all, too, including the less-than-kind voices and whims. The only person in town Noct can’t hear is Prompto Argentum, which makes sense considering the circumstances.

Speaking of Prompto…

::“Bun, has it been nineteen minutes yet?”::

:: (◔_◔) Yes!::

::“Please don’t make me regret teaching you how to send emoticons.”::

:: ˖✧(˃̣̣̥︵˂̣̣̥)✧˖ ::

Noctis sits up, stretching his arms behind his back and then swinging them to the front in a wide arc. He pulls himself to his feet and stretches his back and neck with his arms extending to the sky. 

“Noct, c’mon!” Prompto calls out. Noctis turns and looks up to see Prompto staring down at him from the lighthouse.

“Am I coming up this time?” he asks.

“Uh…no, actually. Can you send up some sparks or something? Yen Sid wants to see a ghost,” Prompto replies.

::A ghost?! That’s pretty scary!::

Noct smiles before extending an arm up and shooting little streaks of light into the air. The streaks shatter into gold crystals halfway up the lighthouse, but the wind follows after the crystals, propelling them higher until they’re right in Prompto’s line of sight. The lights disappear around fifteen seconds later.

“Awesome!” Prompto yells.

:: ♫♪(> 0 ◠)///♫ ::

“Again?” Noct asks.

They keep going for around an hour; Noct shoots a variety of color streams into the air, and Carbuncle uses the wind to push it higher up before the protection charm neutralizes the energy. It’s almost 10 in the morning when Prompto decides he has enough ‘evidence’ of supernatural activity near the lighthouse.

“Dude thinks there are ghosts haunting this place,” Prompto says when he meets Noct at the bottom of the building. “How is it that even the humans that live here don’t know what ghosts are?”

::“Is there a real answer for that?”::

::Nope! ･ﾟ✧ ::

“Bun said the humans here are stupid,” Noctis replies.

::No, I did not!::

“Oh, did you tell them I said thanks?”

“Yeah.”

::Liar (ɵ̥̥⌒ɵ̥̥●) ::

-

*beep*

“Good morning, son. I wanted to let you know that Valentine and I hired Cloud for another mission this afternoon. He should be perfectly fine as long as our intel is correct. Regardless, I hope you’re doing well. Tell Sora I said hello. I love you.”

*beep*

-

Noctis drops Prompto off at work before heading back home. He still has some time to kill before he meets Leon for lunch, so he opts for a quick nap. Regis’ voicemail wasn’t too much of a surprise, considering how Noct heard roughly 30% of that conversation in his head.

// “There are a few targets in Insomnia that Regis would like taken care of if you’re interested,” Vincent says.

“Yeah?” Cloud responds. “What kind?”

“One human and two daemons, including an Arydn clone.”

“…Great.”

“You don’t sound thrilled.”

It’s quiet for a moment before Cloud responds. “Do you enjoy hosting Chaos?”

“Not particularly, no.”

“That’s how I feel about Ardyn, clone or not.” //

Noctis knows Ardyn clones don’t exist; you can’t clone a god. It could be that his father is working with older intel, or it could be a problem with the source itself. 

::“Genitana?”::

::“Yes, little prince?”::

::“Do you know who did the intel for the mission Cloud is going on?”::

::“A ghost from Midgar, I believe. He’s rather volatile; I’m surprised he didn’t burn up into a spirit when he died.”::

More ghosts; great.

::“Is he dangerous?”::

::“Not anymore. Just very angry.”::

Noctis flops down on the living room couch and throws an arm over his eyes. The world would be much better if there were less ghosts.

::“Any chance you know how he died?”::

::“It’s possible.”::

Noctis tries very hard not to sigh.

::“But you won’t tell me?”::

::“I’m afraid the Caelums are no longer empyreal beings, little prince, so I cannot disclose the personal stories of-”::

::“Yeah, yeah. I get your point.”::

Noctis lets the sigh out anyway as he drags his hand down his face. He’s not nosey per se, but he is curious. It’s easier to talk to gods about things considering there’s a distinct lack of consequences. He puts a lot of effort into not snooping around in his boyfriends’ heads for information. Leon and Zack aren’t too hard to filter out, considering they’re both fully human. Cloud, however, has ‘god particles’ (Noctis hates mad scientists. ‘God particles’ is a fancy way of saying ‘Professor’ Hojo put thousand-year-old bones in a coffee grinder, mixed it with some water and scourge, and then injected the concoction into military personnel. Ya know, like a normal person does.) in his cells, which basically puts his entire aura on blast to every supernatural in the surrounding area.

So, yeah. Good thing Cloud lives in Radiant Garden now.

But Cloud’s head leaks like a loose faucet. There are all kinds of things scattered and circling around him, a few of which Noctis is fairly certain Cloud doesn’t know about. Just the little stuff like what specific god bones are in his cells and how much he loves his life living here. 

Who his dad is.

Ya know, little stuff.

Cloud’s leaky head and Noct’s initial unawareness led to several spilled secrets before they’d even met. There are absolutely traces of the right tibia, sphenoid, and part of a floating rib just hanging out in Cloud’s cells. Some heavy weight lifted off Cloud’s chest when he first entered the city limits, and Noct can tell it returns whenever he leaves. Honestly, Zack is wrong when he says Radiant Garden is the most haunted place on the continent. Noct is pretty sure Cloud Strife’s brain takes the cake.

So, yeah. Really good thing Cloud lives in Radiant Garden now.

Noct feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He pulls it out to find a message from Ignis.

[Ignis 10:59] Your father asked Iris and me to work with Cloud on a mission today. 

[Noctis 11:00] yeah Dad told me

[Noctis 11:01] well not about you and Iris

[Noctis 11:01] but you know what i mean

[Ignis 11:02] Cloud didn’t mention it?

Noctis rolls his eyes.

[Noctis 11:02] no he’s a dumbass who doesnt want us to worry

[Ignis 11:02] Hmm. Well, I wanted to let you know all the same.

[Noctis 11:03] is the mission that big of a deal?

[Ignis 11:03] I’m sure your father could explain to you some of the details if you asked him. 

[Ignis 11:04] I apologize for my brevity, but I have to go to work. Have a great day, Noctis.

[Noctis 11:05] yeah, yeah. good luck iggy. knock em dead.

[Ignis 11:05] I believe that’s Cloud’s part to play, but I’ll be sure to pass on the moral support.

Noctis drops his phone on his chest and closes his eyes. Talking to Ignis didn’t use to feel so…empty.

::He really has changed a lot (∩︵∩) ::

::“Yeah, I guess so.”::

::Do you still miss him?::

::“Eh.”::

:: ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡ ::

::“I’m not lying!”::

:: I know :’( ::

Ignis completed his four-year degree at the local university while Noctis and Prompto were still in high school. The three of them were pretty close for a while, but eventually, Ignis moved back to Insomnia after getting a job at the Caelum Company. Ignis didn’t even ask for a recommendation or for Noct to put a good word in; he applied anonymously and only told Noct and Prompto after he’d accepted the position. That was five years ago, though, so Noct’s more or less over losing his second friend. He might have clung to Prompto a little tighter after that; the thought of being alone again scared him almost as much as living.

Back then, anyway. Now he’s alright with living, he’s almost never alone, and he even gets to play Dad whenever Sora wants to stay the night. Things are okay now.

So why does he keep getting the feeling that someone’s watching his pack?

-

Leon feels his phone vibrate as he leans back in his chair. He puts the sorry excuse for a student essay on his lap as he pulls his phone out of his breast pocket.

Snowball [11:08] dad noct took me to school but can he pick me up to 

Leon [11:08] Sure, but don’t text during school okay?

Snowball [11:08] ᏊˊꈊˋᏊ

Leon rolls his eyes. Why he let Noctis teach his son how to use emoticons is beyond him.

-

It’s well after eleven, so Noctis figures he might as well call Leon to pester him. He almost goes to call his cell, but he changes course at the last second and calls Leon’s office phone. It’s a guilty pleasure, but Noct loves it when Leon answers with-

“Dr. Leonhart speaking.”

Noctis puts his left hand over his heart and swoons. “Ooof Professor-”

Leon promptly hangs up, and less than five seconds later, Noct’s getting another call from his contact, ‘Lion King.’

“Helloooooooo,” he says, extending the vowel sound and varying the pitch for no real reason.

“Yes, Noctis?” Leon says with a sigh that doesn’t really hide his smile. “I’m a little busy right now-”

Noct feels a tiny splinter wedge into his heart. “Did you forget about lunch?”

“What?”

Noctis tries not to wilt but he can feel a small part of his aura shimmer in dismay. “Yesterday we said we were gonna get lunch together, the four of us, but then Zack had to help Rufus with something and Cloud said he might have a job so he didn’t want to commit. And,” Noctis pauses his ramble because he still can’t fight that tiny feeling in his chest that says the loneliness from childhood will swallow him whole again and again. He doesn’t realize till he’s saying it, but his voice keeps getting quieter and quieter. “...and you said we could still go together, and we could get whitefish on bagels with pickles like you used to do with your dad.”

The line is very, very quiet.

“Noct,” Leon says, his voice gentle. “That was…gonna be a surprise.”

Shit.

::Oh dear.::

“I called Zack asking if he wanted to get lunch with you and me, and he said he didn’t know when he would be done doing a job for Rufus,” Leon says calmly, but there’s a hint of a smile in his tone. “Then I called Cloud, and he said he didn’t know if he would be free. But he also said that me and you should try to spend more time together.”

There’s a small sylleblossom grove in Noct’s heart. It wilts and blooms with his emotions, and it just blossomed a dozen bulbs spontaneously.

“You’re…too soft,” Noct says with a small laugh. “I think I heard it because you hadn’t asked me yet despite telling Zack and Cloud I was already coming.”

“Well, you don’t have a job-”

“HEY-”

“You don’t have a real job so I knew by now you’d just be laying on the couch doing a midmorning nap. I was gonna call you when my office hours finished at noon because I figured you’d be awake by then,” Leon replies. There’s some shuffling over the line, and Noct’s pretty sure Leon’s packing up his office early.

“I couldn’t really sleep,” Noctis replies as he sits up. “I don’t know; everything’s been feeling really off recently.”

“In a bad way?”

“I mean,” Noct says, “there isn’t really a good version of things feeling off. But there’s like…criminal exposure going on.”

“...Criminal exposure?”

-

You know that feeling when you’re walking back to your car in a parking lot at night, and you can just tell that there’s something watching you? And it almost feels like you’ve done something wrong just existing in that space. Like you are the one at fault for being in something else’s line of sight. You are getting in the way of some malevolent experience, and because of that, your days are numbered. It’s that feeling where you know your presence is wrong and something very strong wants to erase you from reality. You’ve broken some theoretical law about existing where you’re not supposed to; it’s criminal exposure. 

-

“Um,” Noct stammers awkwardly, trying to backtrack. “Don’t worry about it. Are you picking me up?”

Leon Leonhart is special. He’s human, for sure, but he can extend a single moment solely so he can process things. It’s like he can carve space out for himself in his own liminal reality. He stretches out his time to think and spins it around in his head, demulsifying each individual aspect of their conversation and observing its contents. He does this all in the span of three seconds. 

He didn’t get offered tenure after two years for no good reason.

“Yeah, I should be at your place by noon or so,” he finally responds. “It’ll just be the two of us, some really good food, and maybe a joke or two.”

Astrals, Noctis wants to believe him. He wants there to be a wall blocking out sound and strain from his pack. He wants to believe Leon can defeat anyone and anything, but he doesn’t think that will be enough.

“Noct?”

“Uh yeah that works,” he replies slowly. “I’ll be outside. Bye!” He ends the call before feeling Leon’s skepticism seep into his skull.

-

It’s nearly noon when Noct gets a text from Sora.

Leon’s kid [11:49] NOCT DAD SAID YOU CAN PICK ME UP!!!!! ARE WE GONNA GET ICE CREAM

Noctis tries not to smile, but it creeps across his face while he types.

Noctis [11:49] sure but only if you eat all the veggies in your lunch

Leon’s kid [11:51] ….thats too many veggies

Noctis [11:51] yeah i know but it’s all to get on your dad’s good side

Noctis checks his hair and makeup in the mirror before heading out of the bathroom. He kept everything simple today since he’s picking up Sora from school. The last thing he needs is Claire Farron giving him that look from the curb again.

Leon’s kid [11:55] dad will say its fine dont worry

Noctis scoffs.

Noctis [11:55] did you ask him

Leon’s kid [11:56] about what

Noctis [11:56] the ice cream. snowball

Noct locks the front door and heads towards the stairwell. Yeah, he’s tired, and he and Prom live on the fifth floor, but the first time Sora came into his building, the kid stopped dead at the elevator entrance and refused to get on. That was years ago at this point, and Noct never figured out why. What he does know is someone either died in that elevator or will die at any given time. He knows that Carbuncle has all the details, but all the gods he knows love to dangle his ‘lack of Astral status’ or whatever over his head.

He’s just rounding the corner to the second floor when Sora responds.

Leon’s kid [11:58] dont have to becauze i know hes ok with it

Noctis [11:58] uh huh

Leon’s kid [11:58] Riku said i spelled becauze wrong and its supposed to be because

Noctis [11:59] use the walking dictionary in your classroom. and you know Leon’s okay with it or you think he will be?

Leon’s kid [12:00] (◔_◔)

Noctis laughs as he exits the building and spies Leon’s car, maybe 100 meters from the entrance.

Leon has a ‘normal person’ car, and Noct loves it. It’s a dark blue, compact sedan that’s at least 15 years old with fabric seats and two windows that don’t roll down. The radio only works as a radio, considering how the disc player is jammed, and there’s no cassette attachment to connect to one’s phone. Noct remembers Zack suggesting to Leon that he could get a radio connection that would sync with his phone via cable or Bluetooth, but Leon just stared at him as if Zack had spoken in a completely different language. Cloud gave Leon the most judgmental stink eye he could muster, but Leon didn’t break because he never did. He’s like his car: he’s been up and running for the last 15 years, and he’s not gonna stop now; he has a kid to protect, after all.

Leon pulls up to the curb as Noct slips his phone into his pocket. He walks slowly and somewhat elegantly, striking a regal pose about a foot from the car. It takes about thirty seconds for Leon to lean over and open the door (the passenger window is one of the two that can’t roll down).

Leon gives a small smile. “Oh, the love of my life. I certainly can’t do better than this.”

“You never have, and you never will,” Noctis replies, his gaze drifting to the upper left, not validating Leon’s presence at all.

“Mhm…so are you literally star-struck or just keeping this up for fun?” 

“Neither; eh…maybe both.”

“Well,” Leon says, leaning back into his car. “I want bagels, so if you’d care to join…,” and he offers out a hand.

Noctis rolls his eyes and slips into the car, and he does NOT take Leon’s hand.

-

::Psst!::

Sora’s head jerks up from his desk, his knees slamming against the metal underneath. There’s an overly loud cough to his left, but Sora doesn’t pay it any mind.

“Just breathe,” he whispers to himself, but he can feel that tell-tale pressure in his chest, like an itch embedded in his heart muscle. It’s loud and fast, and every time he blinks, the memory replays behind his eyes.

// “Keep him back!”

Sora looks up to see the raft with his mother and a few other people moving towards the shore. His mother rests on her side, but she’s not moving or calling out to him. There’s a red halo steaming out from her skin.

“Mom?” Sora whispers. He shakes off a pair of hands from his shoulders and starts running towards the water, but his short, four-year-old legs stumble and trip over rocks hidden beneath the red-tinted tide.

A tall man in flowing red robes near the raft growls and calls out, “Isa! Now!”

Sora feels his arm almost yanked out of its socket as a much older boy drags him back from the water. 

“Mom!” he screams. He starts flinging his limbs around, trying to get away.

“Kid, calm down! She’s fucking dead, alright?! Get over it!” Isa scolds him roughly before pulling him further back.

Sora kicks out again, luckily whacking Isa in his injured knee. The boy drops Sora’s arm with a groan, and Sora bolts back to the shore before even larger arms scoop him up.

“No no no no no no MOM!” Sora cries, the words slurring together into babbles of hysterical nonsense. He can’t see the blue waves flowing off his mother anymore. Her life lights have faded to darkness, and the waves are now twisted, black tendrils of burning soul. 

The arms around him let him kick and twist and pull. They don’t restrain him, but they don’t let him get any closer. There’s a gaping hole in his chest in the exact same spot where his mom used to be, but it’s-gone-it’s-missing-someone-stole-it. 

All he can do is scream as the water washes his mother away. //

Something smooth and warm pokes Sora on the arm, and it’s like getting yanked back to reality. He looks over and sees Riku moving his rubber-tipped ruler back toward his own desk.

Riku leans over and cups a hand over the side of his mouth. “You okay?” he whispers, “You stopped breathing so I poked you.”

::Psst!::

Sora nods, but he doesn’t feel like he can say anything. It’s like there’s a knot in his throat.

::Sora!::

Sora’s eyes drift to his desk, but he’s not really seeing it. It’s all a bunch of dark snaking lines, steaming and wriggling-

::Psst!::

He gets poked again. He looks back at Riku, and he looks like he’s expecting something from him.

“Huh?” Sora says faintly, but it feels bad to say words.

“I said you should go to the bathroom before Ms. Farron gets back. If you’re super quick and quiet, she won’t see you.”

::Ooh! Let’s play secret spies!::

“Um.”

Riku nudges him again. “Go. She won’t see.”

Sora scratches the back of his head while scrunching his face. It’s like there are two conversations playing at once but only one makes a sound.

Sora nods faintly before quietly getting up. He’ll make it like when he used to play hide and seek with his Dad.

::Whoa! You’re really a secret spy! Meet me in the bathroom for your mission.::

“Mission?” Sora mutters quietly. His classmate Evan looks straight through him, and Sora quickly moves away before he can say anything.

In no time at all, he slips out the door and stays out of sight.

-

“You feel like someone’s watching us?”

“Some thing , yeah. Maybe.”

“Okay, and what makes you think that?”

-

::Sora! You made it ♪ ＼(´。`˵)／♪ ::

He closes the bathroom door, flips the security lock, and spins around, his eyes traveling the empty room.

“Where are you?” Sora asks. He can’t see anyone. He turns to the mirror and watches his own reflection, ready to catch some movement hiding behind him.

::I’m secret! No one can see me (˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥)::

“Oh…,” Sora says slowly. He didn’t think he was talking to someone without a body, and people without bodies are usually spirits, according to Noct anyway. And nice spirits, like really nice spirits, usually need help. “I’m sorry you don’t have a body,” Sora continues. He tries to think of all the questions Noct used to ask the people trying to poke Sora in his head. “Do you…need something?”

::Yes! I need a super strong conduit, and I think you’d be perfect!::

“Conduit?” 

::Like a secret channel between two things. Almost like a secret passageway.::

“Um…,” Sora replies, clenching his hands into fists. He doesn’t think Noct or his Dad would be okay with him just…obeying a random person in his head. “I have to ask permission first.”

::Sure! Just make sure you ask someone other than Cloud.::

Sora blinks and raises an eyebrow. “How do you know Cloud?”

-

“I don’t know. It’s like when you feel eyes staring at the back of your head, and your skin crawls.”

“Well, did you ask any of your astral friends about it?”

Noct just sighs and takes another drink from his water. Leon’s phone vibrates in his pocket, so he quickly pulls it out to read the message.

Snowball [13:10]  dad

Snowball [13:10] um

Snowball [13:10] is cloud ok